She Needs: women flourishing in the church

by Nay Dawson

Many of us look as though 'we're fine'. And that's just how we prefer it, especially if members of a church full of people 'doing fine. Few of us want to stick out or be seen as disruptive. So we're reluctant to volunteer concerns or difficulties.

The problem is then that leaders easily assume that all is well. Which suits them fine! They can carry on with their plans and strategies. But how different this impression would be if they took time to find out what people honestly think.

Nay Dawson's book SHE NEEDS has done just she has given women the space and safety to share their actual experiences of church life. She never pushes a theological agenda nor does she claim to offer a programme for how to respond. She merely wants us all to listen to what so many have felt. This is not an easy book to read as a result. But it is important. As Mark Meynell (Langham Partnership) writes in his foreword, 'I'm sad this book had to be written. But I am equally sure that it did.'

Many people, men as well as women, will be very grateful to Nay for this helpful and challenging book.

Genres: Christian, Leadership

100 pages, Paperback

Published April 18, 2024

Reviews

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been reflecting on this since I read it. It's not a complicated book but feels like an essential read for male pastors and church leaders. Understanding how to help women around you flourish is surely important. As a work of practical theology this is where we need to start - by listening. So many points in here where I had to stop and reflect on my own approach and behaviours.
It's doubly disappointing when I see it not being stocked by significant booksellers.

[Lucy Thacker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in an evening whilst babysitting - it's sub 100 pages so quite manageable. It's a really good jumping off point, to lead to discussions with women in church about their experiences and to leaders in how to make women flourish - I particularly resonated with the chapters on mentorship and clearer pathways for women in leadership.

[Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

An essential and challenging read for the 21st century Church.

[Matthew Weston · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re a complementarian, don’t assume you know what this book is arguing for. Definitely needed to expose some of our blind spots. (Also note the commendations and foreword from complementarian pastors.)

If you’re an egalitarian, don’t assume you don’t need to read this book. I think all will benefit.

[Jonathan Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that needs to be read and reflected on.

Written after years of experience, extensive research, and theological reflection, this is a humble, helpful, and hard-hitting read.

[Katie Norouzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really interesting read to get the conversation going. I will be talking to my pastor and others about how we empower women to use their gifts in the church, be heard and thrive. The book makes clear that there is no single issue holding women back but a variety. And for different women it will be different. But just starting those conversations and really listening to female perspectives can only be a good thing. Thanks Nay!

[Gareth Davies · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with much of what was said (even though I suspect we come from differing base points) and there are some really important things to considered but feel it would have been better grounded in dealing with some key texts… everything else flows from there.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book after reading the John Stevens review. I’m a woman working in women’s ministry in a conservative evangelical (and complementarian) church and so have a particular interest in this subject.

I am thankful to have had a really positive experience - I’ve received clear and positive teaching on what the Bible says about men and women’s roles, and my church have hugely encouraged and supported me in being trained and finding a role in full time ministry. I’m on a team with great male colleagues who support and value me and want me to grow and be stretched in my role and to help other women to develop and exercise their bible teaching gifts.

That said, I have attended other churches of the same theological persuasion who haven’t had the same approach to equipping and mobilising women in ministry and so I do feel passionately that this is an important issue for church leaders to consider. For example, I have been part of churches who have heavily invested in young men but not women and where there are no visible role models of women involved in bible teaching ministry. Nay helpfully identifies this in the book and provides thought-provoking diagnostic questions in each chapter.

I found the chapter on not fudging the issue particularly interesting. It has certainly been my experience that the churches I have attended with the most rigorous exposition are the ones who truly embrace the Biblical model of every member ministry and are most passionate about equipping women in their congregations for ministry.

While I understand why the author deliberately avoids getting into the theology of women’s roles, I think a lack of clarity on what the author thinks is the scope of women’s roles in the church, and the unique aspects of being a woman, what Scripture says on that and how that might shape or impact our ministry, does make the book feel a bit vague at times, especially as I personally believe that clarity on Scripture is the most effective way to combat the issues the author identifies.

[Cat Caird · Rating 5 out of 5]

I connected with this book so much on so many levels and I really felt encouraged by reading it. Thank you Nay for writing it.

[Thomas Creedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a privilege to work with Nay on this 'cri de couer' - a book about how, regardless of your theological beliefs about women in leadership, women can flourish and thrive in YOUR church.

I've had fascinating conversations with both complementarian and egalitarian friends - this is a book rooted in the biblical idea of men and women being made in the image of God, and the other vital biblical idea that all Christians are a fundamental part of Christ's body, the Church.

[Rich Pitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Massive thanks to Nay for writing and pulling together the insights of so many women in the UK church. An immensely practical book, expressing the experiences of women in churches, and giving theological and practical clarity on a way forward.

[Joel Murray · Rating 3 out of 5]

Women have lots to offer the church, and make up more than half of it. Jesus and his followers valued and cared for women in a way the prevailing culture never did. Yet today, women often feel restricted, undervalued, and even oppressed in the church.

‘She Needs’ looks at secular research into gender differences and explores how they correlate in the church. I don’t relate to the vast majority of the experiences that are reported in the book but, if that is the case, that might be because they are experienced silently. So, a good and important challenge to those in church leadership.

My main takeaways to consider and discuss: what does it mean to be ‘called into ministry’?; why do we see preaching as the pinnacle of church life?; if it isn’t, how then can we ensure everyone can use the gifts God has given them to serve the church?; we need to be thought through on our convictions of God’s plan for men and women in all areas of life, and then be clear and transparent as we talk and listen to one another’s experiences and desires.

A welcome challenge and one to discuss in churches of all traditions and beliefs.

[Peter Redington · Rating 2 out of 5]

Despite the forward suggesting the book wouldn't have a theological agenda, it clearly did. Certainly some people have had terrible experiences but because of the underlying theology this book doesn't really have anything useful to say on resolving it.
One chapter was useful though on seeking clarity, and it certainly wasn't a polemic against men, which certainly is a big positive.
But overall, a bit naff, although I can imagine some enjoying it, if you have a matching theological persuasion.

[Jacqui Harbinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book challenged my perception of the role of women in the church. From an early age it was clear in my church the role of women was one of teaching the young, playing the organ, maybe speaking at womens' meetings and of course providing the necessary catering for social events.. it always made me question - women can teach the future members of the church and men the present members? Naomi constantly emphasises that she hopes this book will open up the conversation between women and leaders of the local church about the role of women. However I was challenged - would I be prepared to share this book with them first of all? That made me think - what actually am I afraid of? Of being told like William Carey to "sit down" when he wanted to take Jesus' gospel to the people of India. His leaders went on "when God is pleased to convert the heathen he will do it without your aid or mine." Would my leaders say the same as regards using women to evangelise or teach others within the church? When I first received this book I read it or rather devoured it within a few hours and was constantly finding myself saying 'Amen' to things written as so often Naomi's perceptions and experiences are something I have also experienced time and time again. This is a book every women should read if only to realise that we need one thing and one thing only - confidence to know God's will and purpose for their future ole within the church. I really pray as Naomi says that this book will open up discussion and be used to extend God's kingdom here on earth and his mission within the wider church. Since January this year I have established a local book club and it has been interesting to see people come together to share in reading and discussing Christian books. Some of our members would not class themselves as readers but within a group setting they have really opened up and shared how the Group has broadened their outlook and understanding of what it means to follow Christ for themselves. Books have helped them in their personal walk of faith and developed an interest the would never have had before. As we restart in September we are praying that more people will become members and enjoy fellowship together exploring issues relevant and applicable to living for Christ.