Gaudeamus

by John Barnes

Shatter the line between fiction and fantasy...

The life of an award-winning novelist probably bears more resemblance to "normal" than most fans would want to believe. But every once in awhile, strange things are bound to erupt around those most equipped to document them... so imagine what renowned science fiction writer John Barnes might do when he finds himself in one of the wildest, most rollicking hard-SF adventures to hit print in years.

Barnes' college friend Travis Bismark always brought back plenty of great stories from his job as an industrial spy. This time, over a few beer- and coffee-fueled chat sessions, Travis unravels a tale about his current case too tall for even an SF author to a Gaudeamus machine that bends physics in order to make possible both teleportation and time travel, and how it gets stolen--twice; a grad student-cum-prostitute who deals in telepathy-inducing drugs that let her "download" top-secret documents from her client's brains, a romp through Colorado and New Mexico during which each episode and character is more bizarre than the last; and the internet meme that seems to tie it all together.

Barnes' playful commentary on Travis' story and his own life as a SF writer and drama teacher, interspersed with their everyday interactions with a group of funny, compelling friends, is related in a surprising and non-traditional narrative that blurs the line between fact, fiction, and metafiction.

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction, Time Travel, Fantasy

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

John Barnes (born 1957) is an American science fiction author, whose stories often explore questions of individual moral responsibility within a larger social context. Social criticism is woven throughout his plots. The four novels in his Thousand Cultures series pose serious questions about the effects of globalization on isolated societies. Barnes holds a doctorate in theatre and for several years taught in Colorado, where he still lives.

See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bar...

Reviews

[Peter Tillman · Rating 4 out of 5]

What this is, is a long shaggy-bar story, with a fictional version of the author as narrator. The protag is one Travis Bismarck, who appears to be a real-life friend of Barnes. The book opens with (literally) loopy scene-setting that circles around the actual start in amusingly recursive spirals, as Barnes's old pal Travis, who is some sort of technical PI, relates his current case, and how it went weird.

Now, I'm assuming that Barnes's RL isn't too different than the fictional JB -- the broad outlines match, it isn't a very flattering portrait, and it's just easier to write what you know. I was pretty consistently entertained by Barnes's "what is reality?" mind-games--and if you're in the mood for a clever, cozy, twisty, sexy, crackpot, meandering, recursive, wonderfully implausible piece of metafiction that's full of wisecracks and is just a whole lot of fun to read -- plus, it's short! -- go for Gaudeamus. A fine, semi-mindless read for a mental winter vacation. Caveat: if plot holes and logic-lapses offend you, Gaudeamus might not be for you. Then again, it moves so fast, you might not even notice....

Here's my original 2005 review, complete with links, some of which may still work:
http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/nonfict...

[Michael Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that makes you drive your friends and family nuts because you keep pestering them by reading passages out loud to them. I mean: “For a guy who puts that much science into books, you don’t remember it very well.” “Actually, the problem is I always remember more than I ever knew.” Or: “So, call me a wimp---” “Wimp.” “Call me a coward---” “Coward.” “Oh, god, call me a cheap slut sex poodle, that’s my favorite.” Just tell your spouse to ignore you howling in the other room.

Okay, John Barnes -- the author, also the narrator -- has this friend-since-college named Travis Bismarck who is a champion storyteller. Travis is a PI, specializing in industrial security when he can get the gigs, and he knows every roadhouse and fat woman in the Mountain States. He gets a contract with an extremely high-tech company outside Denver that’s convinced the competition is somehow swiping its ideas and research. This leads him to a grad student in physics who’s making good money as a prostitute (an “incall”) -- except she seems to be using that to cover up an even larger income dealing some strange new drug -- except she also seems to be using that to cover up her corporate espionage business. The drug is called Gaudeamus, and it maybe causes telepathy. But there’s also a web cartoon called Gaudeamus that contains clues about things its creator shouldn’t know. But there’s also a very simple little machine called Gaudeamus that can do practically anything. Gaudeamus turns out to be one of the eight basic technologies for all intelligent species in the universe. Confused? Good! The thing is, Travis relates all this long, complex, fascinating, and very funny yarn to his good buddy John Barnes in several installments, liberally interlarding it with equally fascinating digressions and asides on such subjects as performance art, the beauty of Gunnison, USAF projects, college theatre departments, the ethics of conquest and colonization, driving on mountain roads at night, the differences between deer and elk, successful arson, clown suits, bad rock bands, semiotics, the purchasing habits of science fiction fans, cattle mutilations, trustifarians, and that’s only off the top of my head. Not to mention the aliens purchasing the Earth for the galactic equivalent of $24 in beads and blankets. The Denver Post apparently compared this book favorably with Heinlein’s juveniles. No way! (Robert Anton Wilson, maybe.) In the meantime, “if you’ve got that cat about smoothed out, how about getting on with the story?”

[Tim Hicks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every once in a while an author is entitled to write one just for fun. I'm going to assume that's what this is. After finishing this today, I went to log it in my file and discovered that I've read it before. That tells you how memorable it isn't.

It starts out well. All about - wait while I get some coffee - the author's louche pal Travis and his adventures. Mysterious goings-on, a long drive, coffee, investigation, coffee, a long drive, more coffee, and eventually a ridiculously implausible device, more or less an Anything Box with telepathy and time travel.

But, as an SF author must, Barnes develops the plot from the device seriously, with coffee and long drives but no more leaps of implausibility. By the time he ties all the threads together, it's insanely complicated.

Despite all the converging plots, the book dragged badly after halfway. Girlfriends, a bad bar band, and far too long more or less abandoning the plot.

Don't make this the only book you take on a trip. But as the other book, it's fine.

[Mark Palmer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just clearing out my book list. This book sounded really interesting when I picked it up, but by the halfway point, things just weren't moving along for me and I lost interest. This was frustrating, because the concept sounded really cool.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Barnes writes a wide range of science fiction. His Daybreak series is very different from the Giraut books, which is again different from the Century Next Door series, which is different from...well, you get the picture. With that in mind, the author himself refers to Gaudeamus on his blog as one of his "Edmunds."* As in Edmund from King Lear , the Earl of Gloucester's illegitimate son.

Though this knave came something saucily to the world before he was sent for, yet was his mother fair; there was good sport at his making, and the whoreson must be acknowledged.

This Edmund is a metafiction yarn of teleportation, time travel, ESP, USAF flying saucers (not UFOs - those are unidentified, after all), aerospace companies named after inert gases, bad Indian-Indian rock bands and clown suits combined with a fictionalized version of Barnes' real life when he taught at Western Colorado University in Gunnison. So, not only do you get a conspiracy to sell the Earth to aliens and the counter conspiracy to save it, you also get very good advice on how not to spook elk on the highway when driving over Monarch Pass at night. (Seriously, you do not want to hit an elk with your vehicle. That part isn't fiction.) You get flying saucers, a hand-waving explanation on how they work, and the clever observation that most science fiction fans would understand neither the physics nor the math, but like to feel that if they could, the hand-waving would be what the math describes. (Okay, okay, I admit it, I'm one of those fans...)

Plus, as Michael Smith mentions in his review, there are plenty of passages that are just begging to be read aloud to family and friends, if for no other reason than to explain what has you snorting with laughter.

"Why the clown suits?"
"Hmm. Let's see if you can figure it out, Mr. Detective. If you saw three Indians and a white chick get out of a flying saucer, and they were messing around someplace connected to the Gaudeamus effect, how many suspects would match that profile, assuming you had any other information?"
"Uh, that would be you guys."
"Unhunh. Now suppose you see a UFO and a bunch of circus clowns get out of it."
"I'd keep my mouth shut."
"Remarkable, Holmes, how do you do it?"

This isn't a book that will appeal to everyone, or even most. But if you're looking for something different, ridiculously fun and slightly snarky, I would suggest pouring yourself a mug of Pure Black Evil writing coffee (Wild Turkey optional) and giving it a try.

Now gods, stand up for bastards!

* In case you're curious, the other Edmunds are One for the Morning Glory , Finity and Tales of the Madman Underground .

[Joseph Teller · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a bit of a 'Robert Anton Wilson' feel to it, especially since the author himself is the protagonist in a strange tale of synchronicity, aliens, and general weirdness.

I found it fun, interesting, and at times a bit confusing in a good way. It's impossible to explain it without giving too much away.

[Ron Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wacky little book written from the perspective of the author's real life and populated with his friends -- plus all the trappings of X-Files-esque conspiracy theory. Entertaining.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, thought-provoking book.

[Jeff Youngstrom]

my review