The Stations of Solitude

by Alice Koller

The author examines the process of becoming a person through stations of solitude, pivotal stopping places for reflection and choices

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Memoir, Spirituality, Biography

364 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 1990

About the author

Alice Koller earned her doctorate in philosophy at Harvard University. Except for a decade in Washington D.C., she has lived in New England most of her life. She is the author of An Unknown Woman and The Stations of Solitude and is the friend of Logos, Ousia and Kairos.

Reviews

[Marta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unlike any other book I have read. This book is about one woman's non-glamorous, mundane life -- Koller makes no effort to amuse, or be clever or witty. She fits into no category that is in vogue today. This book focuses on her effort to live a life she has chosen for herself. She writes about finding a way to do work she loves, her struggles making ends meet and ordinary suffering -- such as the devastating loss of her favorite dog. I am a single woman, and although my life is not so similar to Koller (who in the early 1960s was a doctoral student in a field virtually devoid of women) it's great to read about her experiences. In both The Stations of Solitude and An Unknown Woman, she documents looking for work, the distasteful clothes, shoes and makeup she has to wear to job interviews, her love of nature and beautiful furniture, the ups and downs of ordinary life. It takes grit and introspection to find the courage to live a life you believe in. Koller didn't have it when she started writing An Unknown Woman. She finds it while writing these two books. I find that pretty uplifting.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have had this book on a list or sitting on a shelf waiting to be read since the 90s. An Unknown Woman is one of my favorite books ever and one that had a true impact on my life...but timing is everything and that book arrived in my hands at the perfect time, this one came a bit too late. I did enjoy knowing what happened to Koller after she left Nantucket, I find her writing simple and direct and oddly moving. She writes with emotion, and you can feel what she feels. I think I would have carried away something entirely different had I read it when I was younger.

"You break a bone in your leg. You go to a doctor to have her reduce the fracture, to give you something for the pain. In time the bone will heal, the pain will go away. To whom can you go when your life breaks? You mourn because you love: there is no other reason. So there is nothing to be healed of. Would you be healed of your loving. Better still: do not love at all this way. Or, if you love, arrange to die before he dies, before she dies. These are the only ways to avoid mourning."

I have mourned, I do mourn. I think she got it right. You cannot be cured of it, it goes on forever, it is only the intensity that sometimes diminishes, and it can rear its head full and complete at any unexpected moment for the rest of your life.

I am glad I finally got around to reading this. It does not rise to An Unknown Woman for me, but it is worthwhile glimpse into a life lived outside the norm and without compromise. I imagine Alice Koller as a woman I would very much have liked to have known.

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Alice Koller’s first book, a memoir called ‘An Unknown Woman’ was terrific — a 5/5 for me when I read it half a dozen years ago. So I was eagerly searching for an old copy of ‘The Stations of Solitude’, the book purported to tell readers how they too could come to clarity about themselves and their purposes, just as Alice did after three winter months on Nantucket.

Unfortunately, this is a terrible book. Another reviewer describes Koller as ‘insufferable’. A strong word, but absolutely appropriate. Insufferable, entitled, oblivious. Koller had a Ph.D in philosophy so we get told dozens of times that she knows how to think and she knows how to write. She turns down one university position, resigns a couple of others because she doesn’t like the way they do things, then complains when she can’t get a university job and feels betrayed that her alma mater didn’t take care of her.

Koller LOVED the three German Shepherds that she lived with. Great. I love my dog too. But entire chapters of ‘The Stations of Solitude’ are devoted to excruciatingly detailed explanations of walks with the dogs, where the dogs slept, how smart the dogs were.

Koller prided herself on being able to instruct her readers. She did an admirable job of it in ‘An Unknown Woman’. In ‘The Stations of Solitude’, her writing simply serves as a horrible example of what NOT to do, think, or be.

[Marie Bee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I had stopped reading after page 12. What should be a tribute to the joys and challenges of a life of solitude ends up being a great example of what can happen when you spend way too much time alone. I sincerely hope that the author is not half as insufferable as she makes herself out to be.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this almost every year on or around my birthday. I first read it in 1997. One of my absolute favorites.

[Elka · Rating 1 out of 5]

The musings of a profoundly self centered woman. For all that she claims to be examining herself, she is unwilling to ask herself any hard questions.

[D.]

This book, though autobiographical, seems difficult to place in one category. The author is reviewing much of her life- still, Koller is so selective in what parts she describes, and so utterly honest about how she sees the motives of adults in her life, that you might read carefully- and still find pieces of her life are "missing". Instead of recommending this to all, my review will end by saying this is a powerful book, perhaps intended as a "self-help" title, which may (or may not) speak to you. The author's three dogs have great meaning for her. This book has passages that make a serious case for her German Shepherds having an almost human consciousness, so dog lovers can appreciate that.

[emi :0 · Rating 5 out of 5]

literally a perfect book. Alice fucking Koller. ALICEEEEEE.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one is a sequel to Koller's previous book "An Unknown Woman" - and yet it's not. We do get details of her life since leaving Nantucket, but those threads function more as jumping off points for going into her philosophy of life. Readers expecting a lot of memoir will likely be disappointed, finding themselves skimming through large parts of this book.

[KathyJ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having loved her first book, An Unknown Woman, I found myself unexpectedly disappointed with The Stations of Solitude. Perhaps I was so enamored of the earlier effort and just wanted more of the same, which, of course, is an impossibility.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

what an awful book - thank god I finally finished it

[Skyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this 20 stars if I could. It has the best passages on mourning that I have ever read.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quiet. Intelligent.