Leah and the Jackhammer

by Adam Ortyl

Ostracized for the unique magical abilities, Leah lives on the fringes of a harsh and cruel world. Her one friend is, Sir Ursa, the teddy bear she magically brought to life.

But things get dangerous for Leah and Sir Ursa after she finds the legendary Jackhammer, a lost relic from a time when the world was new. A tool such as the Jackhammer cannot go unnoticed long, and with its awakening it draws the attention of dark forces. And when they kidnap Sir Ursa and drag him into the tunnels, it's up to Leah to use the Jackhammer and save her precious friend.

Genres: Fantasy

305 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 1, 2012

Reviews

[Brian Wilkerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Trickster Eric Novels review

Adam Ortyl asked me to read his novel "Leah and the Jackhammer". It's about a girl who goes into an abandoned mine in a mini mecha because a monster stole her semi-sapient stuffed bear. It was darker than I thought it would be but more on that later. I will examine plot, characters, polish and then assign a grade.

PLOT


Overall I have good things to say about the plot. It has character driven conflict, a well developed mystery, and a satisfying conclusion. However, I have issues with certain scenes that feel like padding and scenery description can be vague.



First of all it develops organically; Leah goes into the mine with an objective, she accomplishes it, and in the process starts on a second one. Always she is driven by her own desires. "Prove I'm not a demon" is a compelling emotional background and is backed up by her actions. This keeps the plot on track and believable.


While she travels into the mine's depths, she unravels the mystery of its abandonment. One hundred or so years ago, all the miners vanished without a trace and to this day no one knows what happened. Leah puts the pieces together as she pilots the Jack-hammer through lizard monsters (gnasher) and human monsters (Saggah). It unfolds bit by bit until the climax.

The Reveal isn't shocking and it shouldn't be. In my opinion, I'd rather read something along the lines of "I KNEW IT!" than "Where'd that come from?" I'm not a fan of Shocking Swerves for the sake of originality but that's for other posts. The bottom line is that this story does a good job of building up to the reveal instead of trying to keep the reader in the dark the whole time.


The darkness I mentioned earlier comes from the Saggah's society. It is bloody and grimy and just-human-enough to be especially disturbing. (On Tvtropes we call this "Uncanny Valley"). Harold has to fight gladiator-style against monsters while the reader is constantly aware of the fact that the only thing between Leah and monsters is a thick sheet of glass.


Also, there's a theme of Corrupt The Cutie. A purple light attacks Leah early on and after that struggles with hatred that is 'not her own'. She begins to enjoy the power and invulnerability the Jackhammer provides in the manner of a bully. As I read the book, I wondered if the previous miners were mutated by hatred and this purple light, and if Leah was going to turn into a Saggah.


I like the way the book's conflict is resolved. For one, it was a surprise; a surprise separate from the main plot and yet still believable if one pays attention. For two, it neatly resolved a conflict that would have been difficult and messy to resolve otherwise. For three, with the same motion it points to the new conflict with a 'The Adventure Continues' vibe. It made me excited for a sequel.


However, I have more than good things to say about the plot. There is this one area that feels like padding because it does nothing for the plot. It's good for atmosphere and some character spotlighting but it drags on too long. There are things I'll mention under POLISH that bother me about it.

Also, the scenes with Harold don't do much for the plot either. One could cut them out and do little harm to the story. His scenes mostly serve to provide a glance at a society (indeed it's existence at all) that becomes important but even in that case it is background information.

CHARACTERS

Leah is a girl ostracized by her community because of her glamour, I.E. magic. She has a running character arc of 'Am I a human girl or a demon' and it is her determination to prove that she is the former that makes her the hero of this story. Mr. Ortyl uses the Jackhammer's fights to illustrate the hatred/killing (demon) vs compassion/restraint (girl) struggle within her. However, she still a child so she makes mistakes and has problems immaturity and impulsiveness.


Sir Ursa makes a good sidekick. On one hand, he is more alive than a mere animated stuffed toy and thus similar to a familiar like a witch would use. However, he's at all times a voice of reason and regularly advises Leah to show caution and restraint, thus making her more a girl than a demon, and yet, like he himself says, he is part of Leah and cannot believe anything about her that she, deep down, does not believe about herself.


Harold serves little purpose in the plot other than starting the mine conflict, but I liked how he developed. He's a little kid whose a bully because something bad happens when he tries to be nice and it's implied that his father is abusive. The fact that Leah calls him "Fat Butt" (a hated nickname) before he bullies her each time help prevent him from becoming a flat antagonist. I don't know how the bad blood between him and Leah started but she contributes to its progression. The book points out a couple times that he would rather be nice than mean but nice rarely works out for him.


Finally, the villain is a good character. Mr. Ortyl gives them a surprising amount of characterization before formally introducing them. They perform their role in the plot well; just the right mix of evil and sympathy to make the final confrontation mean something. The sense of mystery about them is part of the book's appeal so I won't say any more about them.


POLISH


I didn't see any problems with grammar or spelling or word cruft. That's always a plus. The problem I mentioned earlier in PLOT is that some scenes are hard to follow for a lack of description in the environment. One of the battle scenes with the monster lizards sounded like a long string of the Jackhammer wadding through them to do things and so I didn't feel the urgency.


Trickster Eric Novels gives "Leah and the Jackhammer" a B.

[Jess Mountifield · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review originally posted on Indie ebook review on September 13th 2013

Cover: 16/20

The cover had some brilliant artwork on it and helps give the young fantasy feel that the rest of the book has although the old skool feel isn't quite my cup of tea. As a girl I'd have been put off a little by the cover feeling a bit masculine but I think I'd have given the book a chance anyway with the girl's name in the title.

Characters: 17/20

This book had an excellent if a tad stereotypical cast, plus Sir Ursa the teddy bear. I think I'd have felt like the cast were nothing particularly new and special if it weren't for Sir Ursa but with him it made the whole lot of them feel more fresh and I found myself wishing I was Leah at several moments.

Storyline: 15/20

The story is a fairly standard, young girl goes somewhere she shouldn't, finds something evil and continues putting herself in danger to try and save the day. The parents don't believe her etc so, although this is done well and does suit the target audience, I didn't feel blown away. I do think it might get a bit more original with the rest of the series though so I'm definitely not put off reading more.

There would also be the occasional plot point, especially involving Leah's actions and her emotions that I didn't entirely understand. I wasn't sure whether the anger was a good thing and whether it was all naturally Leah or not and didn't have it explained quite as much as I'd have wanted to and I'm hoping it's explained more in the next book.

Style: 12/20

This was where I was most confused. For a lot of the book it felt very much like a young adult fantasy and maybe even a child's book but there were a few points that were quite violent or had a bit of gore described to a level I wouldn't expect from a book that otherwise felt so young. I could have been misled by the age and gender of the main character but I know at the age I'd have considered reading a book like this I'd have struggled with the gore, so it left me a bit confused as to who the target audience was.

Spelling and Grammar: 18/20

I noticed a handful of mistakes (6-7) and for the most part I could work out what was meant quickly and move on so no real worries on that front.

Conclusion: 78/100

This was a very easy read and I barely put it down. I loved Sir Ursa and do think this is the kind of book I'd have loved as a kid, minus the violence. I will be looking out for the sequel for sure as I want to find out more.

[Terri · Rating 3 out of 5]

FTC Notice: I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Leah and the Jackhammer is a fun little read suitable for middle grade readers. There is some mild language, but nothing your average sixth grader hasn’t heard before.

What I Liked:

The plot was action-oriented, which made it easy to keep reading to see what would happen next. Ortyl has obviously spent a lot of time figuring out the story universe, with the different colored celloid crystals and their power, the vaguely human Saggah, and the ancient mechanical gear like the Jackhammer.

The end where Leah meets the other girl was a little strange, but I liked the explanation of where the Saggah came from, even if I would have appreciated more explanation about how it happened. Also, since the evil girl probably didn’t die, as villains almost never do when “killed” in that way, it would have been good to give the reader her name.

Professor Olnaro serves as a mentor/teacher/father figure for Leah, whose father left before the story begins.

What Didn’t Work for Me:

Confession: I’m not big on children’s and middle grade literature, and found this slightly difficult to get into given the simplistic style and characterization. I didn’t find the idea of a sentient teddy bear as our primary sidekick very compelling, but perhaps I would have if I were around Leah’s age range.

Leah wears a magic ring, but its function or magic is never explained and it’s not mentioned again after the first few pages. It read very much like a plot point that was either abandoned or inserted as foreshadowing for the future, but either way, it was awkward.

Characterization would have been much stronger if Leah and Harold had traveled together the entire time, forcing them to work through their mutual dislike and prejudices. It would helped them mature and realize that appearances and town gossip aren’t necessarily an accurate measure of a person.

The ending was a bit rushed – Leah learns her mom may or may not be okay, shrugs it off, and then she’s ready to go off with Professor Olnaro, Harold and Sir Ursa. It just seemed like too convenient of an excuse to send Leah on her hero’s quest, especially given her mother is the only family she has and she’s very young.

Leah and the Jackhammer was a good read and something I’d recommend for a middle school or advanced elementary reader who likes fantasy and adventure.

[S.M. White · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first impression of this book was that of the concept. It's an interesting story Ortyl devises here, and it easily captures your attention from the outset of the novel

My second impression of the book consisted of the target audience. Based on the book cover and the opening of the book, I had tagged it as a YA novel (albeit with a curse word added). But the deeper I read into the book the more I could see the audience was intended to be of a more mature disposition. This comes by way of some rather graphic scenes that probably aren't appropriate for younger readers. There was also an issue of language used throughout the book, a tone that seemed to speak to a younger readership. It almost clearly feels like a YA novel at times, and then like a much more adult novel at others. Unfortunately, this combination took me out of the story on multiple occasions as I tried to figure out the author's intention on that front.

My confusion on the matter of audience aside, I had an enjoyable time reading the book. One can empathize with Leah almost immediately (the bullied and ostracized child that is picked on because she's different). The magic system is inventive and curious, and gives life to a whole range of problem-solving abilities. I thought the idea of Sir Ursa (the stuffed bear) was well done as well. His connection to Leah was used to great effect in creating tension and emotion.

There were a few issues that, while not taking away from the enjoyment of the book, made the reading a bit of a chore in places. There were instances where the dialogue felt stilted and mechanical, breaking up the rhythm of some pages. And at certain points I thought that the heroes' escape from danger was achieved a little too quickly and easily. But these minor blemishes can be overlooked, and the adventure within the pages is captivating enough that they pose no determent to the story.

The book receives 3 stars. While it was a fun read, I feel that the inability to determine the audience made the reading distant. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a unique perspective in the speculative fiction genre.

[Thereadersentry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had my share of fantasy and Sci-Fi novels and after reading so many of them it has become quite difficult to find something really original. Leah and the Jackhammer was definitely a breath of fresh air, with an unusual story and unique characters. The main protagonists are Leah, who possesses some form of magic, and her talking teddy bear, called Sir Ursa. This presents the author with a unique opportunity, enabling him to soften the overall seriousness of the events by having them recounted from Leah´s innocent perspective. The synergy between Leah and sir Ursa is used to great effect and is particularly interesting since sir Ursa is effectively part of Leah herself. In a nutshell, the book narrates Leah´s journey of growth and acceptance of her diversity and it has the quality of a fairy tale.
From the point of view of the author´s writing style, the book is well written and the narrative has a good pacing. It does not feel too short or too long, even though occasionally certain parts are dragged a bit too long. Overall Leah and the Jackhammer is a pleasant experience and I encourage everybody to give this book a go. I loved the atmosphere, the pacing and the originality of this novel. A refreshing new experience in a genre which has become quite derivative in the last few years.

[Doreen Dalesandro]

Kindle freebie, 3/1/13

[Adam Ortyl]

Hello Folks!
Just finished up the the successful giveaway for this book, and I will be sending out the books to the winners shortly! Congratulations and I am looking forward to hearing what you thought of it.

For those of you who didn't win, and are still interested in reading it, and willing to write a review, please send me a message and I can send you an eBook version! I would love to have you read it. Everybody is a winner!