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Dead Weight: Essays on Hunger and Harm
A personal and cultural look at the dark underbelly of Western beauty standards and the lethal culture of disordered eating they've wreaked
In Dead Weight, Emmeline Clein tells the story of her own disordered eating alongside, and through, other women from history, pop culture and the girls she's known and loved. Tracing the medical and cultural history of anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and orthorexia, Clein investigates the economic conditions underpinning our eating disorder epidemic, and illuminates the ways racism and today's feminism have been complicit in propping up the thin ideal. While examining Goop, Simone Weil, pro-anorexia blogs, and the flawed logic of our current treatment methods, Clein grapples with the myriad ways disordered eating has affected her own friendships and romantic relationships.
Dead Weight makes the case that we are faced with a culture of suppression and denial that is insidious, pervasive, and dangerous, one that internalizes and promotes the fetish of self-shrinking as a core tenet of the American cult of femininity. This is replicated in our algorithms, our television shows, our novels, and our relationships with one another. Dead Weight is a sharp, perceptive, and revelatory polemic for readers fascinated by the external forces shaping their lives.
In Dead Weight, Emmeline Clein tells the story of her own disordered eating alongside, and through, other women from history, pop culture and the girls she's known and loved. Tracing the medical and cultural history of anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and orthorexia, Clein investigates the economic conditions underpinning our eating disorder epidemic, and illuminates the ways racism and today's feminism have been complicit in propping up the thin ideal. While examining Goop, Simone Weil, pro-anorexia blogs, and the flawed logic of our current treatment methods, Clein grapples with the myriad ways disordered eating has affected her own friendships and romantic relationships.
Dead Weight makes the case that we are faced with a culture of suppression and denial that is insidious, pervasive, and dangerous, one that internalizes and promotes the fetish of self-shrinking as a core tenet of the American cult of femininity. This is replicated in our algorithms, our television shows, our novels, and our relationships with one another. Dead Weight is a sharp, perceptive, and revelatory polemic for readers fascinated by the external forces shaping their lives.
279 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 27, 2024
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11394 people want to read
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December 28, 2023
I feel conflicted about what to make of this book. Firstly, I suppose, to clarify, I was reading it, and thinking through it, as an individual with a diagnosis of AN for 10+ years, having spent the majority of my twenties in that cyclical roundabout of inpatient/daycare/outpatient/inpatient/daycare/outpatient ad nauseum. I am also from the UK, where we have the NHS, and our media & cultural landscape, although similar in parts due to the commodified and globalised world that we find ourselves collectively being subjected to in late stage capitalism, is not exactly the same.
Whilst I recognised the immense harm that our misogynistic mass media has on the young, especially women, I do not necessarily see this as the core reason, or indeed any reason, for why an individual goes on to develop an eating disorder. An eating disorder is, first and foremost, a mental health diagnosis, and, whilst labelling can be largely transitory, and in some cases, iatrogenic in nature, it is important, I think, to clarify the difference between body dysmorphia, one being on the receiving end of ableism/ misogynism/ sexism etc, and a mental health condition. There needed to be stronger clarification between disordered eating, and, an eating disorder. Whilst I think both are serious, and require medical intervention, they are not the same severity.
Whilst I understand the contemporaneous nature of the book in question, I think it could have been helpful to contextualise eating disorders in history, especially the emergence or so called, of orthorexia. Whilst it has, undeniably, been fostered & heightened by the “wellness” epidemic, and, in some cases, almost carte Blanche legitimised, individuals with an eating disorder operating on the pretence that they are pursuing “health”, is not new. Indeed, I have read of Victorian reports of patients avoiding meat and dairy due to “un-purity” of the foods in question. The core of how an eating disorder operates is, I think, largely stagnant, but the cultural sphere of which it is operating in changes, meaning that the language adapts, but the idea largely remains intact.
There was also little coverage of the genetic. In some studies, doctors place eating disorders as up to 60% genetic, and 40% environmental. I come from a family of people suffering from addictions, depression, suicide etc, whilst I do not know if this accounts for genetic predispositions to developing an eating disorder, or is the more the case of inter-generational trauma being passed down (the ghosts in the nursery), I think from personal experience that it must play a large role in how predisposed an individual is to developing an eating disorder. There is also interesting research emerging about metabolism and eating disorders which I think was given little attention.
From my own experiences in eating disorder services, I actually think there is far too much emphasis placed on the media and cultural landscape, and not enough placed on the individuals history, and other contributing factors. In my experience of treatment, too much emphasis was spent on corroborating the ideal female narratives that our society imposes on people, namely, I should recover so I could “have children”, “get married”, etc etc, which, whilst they might be “motivating” factors for some, certainly aren’t for me, and made me disdain and look down upon the “idiotic” nurses and doctors who were suggesting such a thing. There is was a sense, in my own eating disorder, that the world around me, and everyone in it,couldn’t see the wood through the trees, and sometimes I wonder if the alienation and loneliness epidemic that our society is currently experiencing, is in some way responsible for individuals turning inwards, creating and living through their own fantasy worlds in their heads, creating rules and order in amongst a world that is either too chaotic for them to handle, or has rules that they can’t abide by, because it makes them too sad.
Overall, I do think that this was an book with interesting parts, and perhaps my aversion to it stems largely from my own experiences, and my disdain for tying my own experience of an eating disorder into a narrative about pernicious cultural stereotypes. A year into my diagnosis I actually deleted all my social media accounts, and got a Nokia brick phone. I turned away from mainstream culture, and yet, my eating disorder still persisted.
Whilst I recognised the immense harm that our misogynistic mass media has on the young, especially women, I do not necessarily see this as the core reason, or indeed any reason, for why an individual goes on to develop an eating disorder. An eating disorder is, first and foremost, a mental health diagnosis, and, whilst labelling can be largely transitory, and in some cases, iatrogenic in nature, it is important, I think, to clarify the difference between body dysmorphia, one being on the receiving end of ableism/ misogynism/ sexism etc, and a mental health condition. There needed to be stronger clarification between disordered eating, and, an eating disorder. Whilst I think both are serious, and require medical intervention, they are not the same severity.
Whilst I understand the contemporaneous nature of the book in question, I think it could have been helpful to contextualise eating disorders in history, especially the emergence or so called, of orthorexia. Whilst it has, undeniably, been fostered & heightened by the “wellness” epidemic, and, in some cases, almost carte Blanche legitimised, individuals with an eating disorder operating on the pretence that they are pursuing “health”, is not new. Indeed, I have read of Victorian reports of patients avoiding meat and dairy due to “un-purity” of the foods in question. The core of how an eating disorder operates is, I think, largely stagnant, but the cultural sphere of which it is operating in changes, meaning that the language adapts, but the idea largely remains intact.
There was also little coverage of the genetic. In some studies, doctors place eating disorders as up to 60% genetic, and 40% environmental. I come from a family of people suffering from addictions, depression, suicide etc, whilst I do not know if this accounts for genetic predispositions to developing an eating disorder, or is the more the case of inter-generational trauma being passed down (the ghosts in the nursery), I think from personal experience that it must play a large role in how predisposed an individual is to developing an eating disorder. There is also interesting research emerging about metabolism and eating disorders which I think was given little attention.
From my own experiences in eating disorder services, I actually think there is far too much emphasis placed on the media and cultural landscape, and not enough placed on the individuals history, and other contributing factors. In my experience of treatment, too much emphasis was spent on corroborating the ideal female narratives that our society imposes on people, namely, I should recover so I could “have children”, “get married”, etc etc, which, whilst they might be “motivating” factors for some, certainly aren’t for me, and made me disdain and look down upon the “idiotic” nurses and doctors who were suggesting such a thing. There is was a sense, in my own eating disorder, that the world around me, and everyone in it,couldn’t see the wood through the trees, and sometimes I wonder if the alienation and loneliness epidemic that our society is currently experiencing, is in some way responsible for individuals turning inwards, creating and living through their own fantasy worlds in their heads, creating rules and order in amongst a world that is either too chaotic for them to handle, or has rules that they can’t abide by, because it makes them too sad.
Overall, I do think that this was an book with interesting parts, and perhaps my aversion to it stems largely from my own experiences, and my disdain for tying my own experience of an eating disorder into a narrative about pernicious cultural stereotypes. A year into my diagnosis I actually deleted all my social media accounts, and got a Nokia brick phone. I turned away from mainstream culture, and yet, my eating disorder still persisted.
Read
March 31, 2024What to even fucking say. It’s hard to read about something that almost killed you being analysed next to aesthetics and “girlhood” in an essay collection but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this book. It is well researched and structured but there are a lot of problems. I long for the day when there will be a safer way for us to consume media about eating disorders without it becoming accidentally “glamorised” as is so easy to do now if you aren’t careful. I’ll probably be thinking about this book for a long time - it wasn’t nice for me to read but I’m thankful we have more literature on EDs now that isn’t just horrible 00s era memoirs.
February 26, 2024
Clein spent years entrenched in eating disorders, and in Dead Weight she examines some of the personal and societal obsessions that influenced her illness, and that of so many others.
Structured as a series of essays, Dead Weight leans heavily into pop culture, with an occasional academic bent. Clein has clearly read extensively—and consumed large amounts of other media—on the subject, and she quotes heavily. In places this works well, giving a sense of just how pervasive an issue is or in how many works it's reflected. I did end up wishing that fewer of the chapters/essays had taken this rapid-fire structure, with quotation following source following quotations, because it can feel very much like a montage, and I usually prefer to dive deeper into a topic or source (more analysis and fewer examples, I think). The pop culture parts have a very American lens; as someone who is American but is other things as well, I drew some very different conclusions (e.g., from the discussion of Girls vs. Fleabag) than Clein does, but there will be resonance for those whose media consumption is primarily American.
One thing that readers should be mindful of: While Clein makes a concerted effort to avoid potential triggers in the form of numbers and certain details of eating disorders and so on, I'm not sure she ever really manages to write past a level of latent ambivalence about her eating disorder. It's understandable but still a risky place to be writing from, and in places the compulsion to write, or perhaps just to delve into this in a sanctioned way, overrides caution. I don't know how to write about her without making her struggle into a manual or a vision board, writes Clein in a chapter that I can only describe as highly ill advised (and one of the most triggering things I've read in years). But I am going to try to write about her anyway... (loc. 3947*) An interesting read, but one I cannot recommend to anyone with anything other than a very healthy, uncomplicated relationship with their body.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
Structured as a series of essays, Dead Weight leans heavily into pop culture, with an occasional academic bent. Clein has clearly read extensively—and consumed large amounts of other media—on the subject, and she quotes heavily. In places this works well, giving a sense of just how pervasive an issue is or in how many works it's reflected. I did end up wishing that fewer of the chapters/essays had taken this rapid-fire structure, with quotation following source following quotations, because it can feel very much like a montage, and I usually prefer to dive deeper into a topic or source (more analysis and fewer examples, I think). The pop culture parts have a very American lens; as someone who is American but is other things as well, I drew some very different conclusions (e.g., from the discussion of Girls vs. Fleabag) than Clein does, but there will be resonance for those whose media consumption is primarily American.
One thing that readers should be mindful of: While Clein makes a concerted effort to avoid potential triggers in the form of numbers and certain details of eating disorders and so on, I'm not sure she ever really manages to write past a level of latent ambivalence about her eating disorder. It's understandable but still a risky place to be writing from, and in places the compulsion to write, or perhaps just to delve into this in a sanctioned way, overrides caution. I don't know how to write about her without making her struggle into a manual or a vision board, writes Clein in a chapter that I can only describe as highly ill advised (and one of the most triggering things I've read in years). But I am going to try to write about her anyway... (loc. 3947*) An interesting read, but one I cannot recommend to anyone with anything other than a very healthy, uncomplicated relationship with their body.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
April 1, 2024
I listened to this one on audiobook, which potentially may have skewed my experience of it.
Clein's work is a tangled conglomerate of other's contributions in the fields of science, sociology, and history, with the occasional interjection of her own experiences with an ED. The prose lacked substance, and was largely predicated on ideas that were external to Clein's own analysis. She wallowed in metaphor for longer than necessary, often reverting to another elongated quotation to segue into the next topic. As the work proceeded, I found it to be increasingly disjointed in its focus, looking at trends of the "bimbo," the "disassociative cool girl," and so on. These tropes and their related sources had little connection to the core idea of disordered eating.
Moreover, though all significant weights are redacted, Clein does little to dissuade her readers from the very copy-cat inclinations of disordered eating that she warns against. She often paints her past experiences of disordered eating in a romanticized light. Her mentions of anti-capitalist, anti-racist approaches to thin versus fat dichotomies seem perfunctory, as if checking the box that says, I am politically correct. She briefly touches on her judaism, though chucks it to the wayside for the majority of the following essays. I liked the religious interpretations she took on the cult of EDs, though again, didn't think that was anything groundbreaking for the ongoing discourse.
From her analysis of Fleabag, to the HBO show Girls, to Jennifer's Body, none of her takes are novel, or nuanced. I was also uncomfortable with the extent to which Clein defends platforms like ED twitter or tiktok as places for community, and thus necessary for struggling individuals. While she may have benefitted in some way from the representation, I would argue that the negative encouragement found on these sites outweighs any potential upsides. Her "warnings" about wellbutrin actually read like recommendations. She takes a painfully American-centric take on EDs and lacks the writing skills to execute something that reads beyond the cadence of a hasty Substack essay.
Clein's work is a tangled conglomerate of other's contributions in the fields of science, sociology, and history, with the occasional interjection of her own experiences with an ED. The prose lacked substance, and was largely predicated on ideas that were external to Clein's own analysis. She wallowed in metaphor for longer than necessary, often reverting to another elongated quotation to segue into the next topic. As the work proceeded, I found it to be increasingly disjointed in its focus, looking at trends of the "bimbo," the "disassociative cool girl," and so on. These tropes and their related sources had little connection to the core idea of disordered eating.
Moreover, though all significant weights are redacted, Clein does little to dissuade her readers from the very copy-cat inclinations of disordered eating that she warns against. She often paints her past experiences of disordered eating in a romanticized light. Her mentions of anti-capitalist, anti-racist approaches to thin versus fat dichotomies seem perfunctory, as if checking the box that says, I am politically correct. She briefly touches on her judaism, though chucks it to the wayside for the majority of the following essays. I liked the religious interpretations she took on the cult of EDs, though again, didn't think that was anything groundbreaking for the ongoing discourse.
From her analysis of Fleabag, to the HBO show Girls, to Jennifer's Body, none of her takes are novel, or nuanced. I was also uncomfortable with the extent to which Clein defends platforms like ED twitter or tiktok as places for community, and thus necessary for struggling individuals. While she may have benefitted in some way from the representation, I would argue that the negative encouragement found on these sites outweighs any potential upsides. Her "warnings" about wellbutrin actually read like recommendations. She takes a painfully American-centric take on EDs and lacks the writing skills to execute something that reads beyond the cadence of a hasty Substack essay.
Read
July 23, 2024I’m still trying to think about how to rate this book. It’s very well written, but I think it falls prey to some spoken-word-esque language that I have a hard time with (my corny detectors are relentless).
This was definitely not an easy book to read and I found myself counting the chapters until I was done, which doesn’t seem like a good sign. In all honesty I think that was because this was a bit too close to home at times and it just felt kind of exhausting to read. Clein is pretty close to my age and it was weird reading about the kind of internet content I consumed as a kid, but spoken about in such an academic tone. Feels a little too soon maybe? But is it ever too soon?
Still, I found the topics covered super interesting. Made me think a lot about treatment for eating disorders and how screwy that system is. This book is very validating if you’ve ever been victimized by Tik Tok for you page’s insistence on sending you workout videos and diet videos. The book made me think about how much we equate health and aesthetics and how those things ought to have nothing to do with each other. It also, unfortunately, kinda made me realize how sensitive I still am to this sort of topic (even if I think of myself/attempt to present myself as above it all).
SO for my fellow people who are still on-the-way-out-of-the-deep-end on the relationship with good end of things, tread with caution. Clein does her best to be tasteful but this book describes a lot of tragic anorexic women in (what I feel) is overly romantic detail. Even though I can tell she’s trying not to.
This was definitely not an easy book to read and I found myself counting the chapters until I was done, which doesn’t seem like a good sign. In all honesty I think that was because this was a bit too close to home at times and it just felt kind of exhausting to read. Clein is pretty close to my age and it was weird reading about the kind of internet content I consumed as a kid, but spoken about in such an academic tone. Feels a little too soon maybe? But is it ever too soon?
Still, I found the topics covered super interesting. Made me think a lot about treatment for eating disorders and how screwy that system is. This book is very validating if you’ve ever been victimized by Tik Tok for you page’s insistence on sending you workout videos and diet videos. The book made me think about how much we equate health and aesthetics and how those things ought to have nothing to do with each other. It also, unfortunately, kinda made me realize how sensitive I still am to this sort of topic (even if I think of myself/attempt to present myself as above it all).
SO for my fellow people who are still on-the-way-out-of-the-deep-end on the relationship with good end of things, tread with caution. Clein does her best to be tasteful but this book describes a lot of tragic anorexic women in (what I feel) is overly romantic detail. Even though I can tell she’s trying not to.
December 31, 2023
Dead Weight is a collection of essays on eating disorders. There are several interesting essays covering topics such as race and sexuality in eating disorder demographics. In the introduction, the author writes that this is a book for those suffering from eating disorders that did not include triggering details. I disagree with this description and found this book to be one of the more triggering books on this topic that I have read. So, while I would recommend this book to an academic studying eating disorders and sociological trends, I would strong advise against those who are in recovery reading this book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 6, 2024
I am moved, surprised, horrified, hopeful. This book is everything. A feat to write a book about bodies and eating disorders that is expansive where so many others are reductive or limited. I particularly loved her inclusion & analysis of TikToks, Instagram reels, Reddit threads—stuff that might seem lowbrow but is crucial in understanding what is really meant by the “media’s influence” on feelings/assumptions surrounding bodies and food and gender. Required reading!!!!!
Also I think the title is bad. But whatever
Also I think the title is bad. But whatever
November 13, 2025
𝘐𝘥𝘵 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸 𝘛𝘞𝘴—𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵. 𝐏𝐥𝐳 𝐩𝐥𝐳 𝐩𝐥𝐳 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩, & 𝐨����𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬.
Emmeline did such a great job of not providing a starting point, from which to slide back down hill—but the nature of the beast is too forceful to contain, at least for me. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭—𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥'𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘯 & 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. Ok, PSA over.
I found my old copy of 𝙒𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 recently—one of the memoirs referenced. Flipping to the quotes 13-14yr old me found most poignant absolutely broke my heart. & 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 is why 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙒𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 is vital. The relationship w weight that's force on us is inevitable, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝(-𝐞𝐝) 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬—heck, as little kids. 𝐈𝐟 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙒𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 & 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠) 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐫𝐧?
Even more unfortunate, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 (𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘭) 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢 "𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥" 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰. So if you don't think this book applies to you, my humble stats aren't in your favor. 𝘽𝙐𝙏, again, it's not your own doing—& that's what Emmeline brings SO MUCH evidence of.
I went w & LOVED 🎧! Karissa Vacker (𝐀 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤, 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞) shows again that she's a pro, no surprise at all. To my fellow annotators tho, you're gunna want a physical too.
TYSM to Vintage for the #gifted copy!
Emmeline did such a great job of not providing a starting point, from which to slide back down hill—but the nature of the beast is too forceful to contain, at least for me. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭—𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥'𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘯 & 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. Ok, PSA over.
I found my old copy of 𝙒𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 recently—one of the memoirs referenced. Flipping to the quotes 13-14yr old me found most poignant absolutely broke my heart. & 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 is why 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙒𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 is vital. The relationship w weight that's force on us is inevitable, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝(-𝐞𝐝) 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬—heck, as little kids. 𝐈𝐟 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙒𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 & 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠) 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐫𝐧?
Even more unfortunate, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 (𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘭) 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢 "𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥" 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰. So if you don't think this book applies to you, my humble stats aren't in your favor. 𝘽𝙐𝙏, again, it's not your own doing—& that's what Emmeline brings SO MUCH evidence of.
I went w & LOVED 🎧! Karissa Vacker (𝐀 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤, 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞) shows again that she's a pro, no surprise at all. To my fellow annotators tho, you're gunna want a physical too.
TYSM to Vintage for the #gifted copy!
December 13, 2024
Harrowing insight into the eating disorder treatment industrial complex (not hyperbole, it really is an industrial complex). Not sure I can agree with everything the author had to say (specifically about eating disorder twitter/social media spaces), but certainly worth reading as a whole and very well researched.
May 30, 2024
soooo many reckons on this so giving it 5 stars for packing heaps of smart unwieldy thoughts into a deeply readable package.
first 30 pages are on 2023 era girlhood discourse that already feel dated/undermine the serious and smart nature of the rest of the book
extremely us centric but nonetheless very interesting (insurance companies are crazy). also drug advertising re SSRIS???? blew me away - she did reckon nz is the only other country to allow drug advertising but i think with pharmac ect comparing the systems is disingenuous but americans can’t help that
very confronting in parts but never gratuitous or indulgent in its violence. i am normally skeptical/a hater of id politics “lived experience” culture but this is one instance where many narratives are held at once quite well, and the sense of sisterhood she personally feels with ED survivors adds a lot
in saying that this definitely gave the sensation of reading about an experience of femininity and feeling like it was absolutely a foreign language??? and normally i’d chalk that up to straightness but she’s queer (shout out) lol
love the whole scale rejection of head-empty-no-thoughts-just-a-girl feminism essay at the end. i love thinking hard about things and so do my smart friends!!!
great read that varies a bit in strength and gets better as it goes on, but is definitely filled with empathy and care.
first 30 pages are on 2023 era girlhood discourse that already feel dated/undermine the serious and smart nature of the rest of the book
extremely us centric but nonetheless very interesting (insurance companies are crazy). also drug advertising re SSRIS???? blew me away - she did reckon nz is the only other country to allow drug advertising but i think with pharmac ect comparing the systems is disingenuous but americans can’t help that
very confronting in parts but never gratuitous or indulgent in its violence. i am normally skeptical/a hater of id politics “lived experience” culture but this is one instance where many narratives are held at once quite well, and the sense of sisterhood she personally feels with ED survivors adds a lot
in saying that this definitely gave the sensation of reading about an experience of femininity and feeling like it was absolutely a foreign language??? and normally i’d chalk that up to straightness but she’s queer (shout out) lol
love the whole scale rejection of head-empty-no-thoughts-just-a-girl feminism essay at the end. i love thinking hard about things and so do my smart friends!!!
great read that varies a bit in strength and gets better as it goes on, but is definitely filled with empathy and care.
June 9, 2024
while i think this topic is interesting and underwritten about considering that it affects…everyone?…to some extent, i thought this book was pretty bad, flawed at a conceptual level. it’s unclear whether it’s non-fiction or slam poetry, and it’s not excelling at either one. i’ve read some well-researched, data-heavy books recently that made their subjects fascinating instead of dry; meanwhile, the subject of this book is already interesting to me, but was presented in a boring way that often made my eyes glaze over, and the essays are hobbled together with trite, notes-app poetry.
i gotta say i don’t like the author’s writing style, at a sentence level. she needs to be forbidden from using the verb “cast” ever again. i think this book was overly ambitious, poorly edited, the author should’ve written a memoir. but the author expresses that she’s hesitant to do that, worried about accidentally writing an instruction manual. idk, i get the feeling this author got a book deal because she’s a cool new york girlie in the correct scene, and then she wasn’t up to the task. which makes sense bc this is wildly ambitious for a first book!
this is mean, and i wish i had loved this book, but it was a huge letdown and my goodreads account is private, so i am secure in the knowledge that i won’t hurt the author’s feelings. amen
i gotta say i don’t like the author’s writing style, at a sentence level. she needs to be forbidden from using the verb “cast” ever again. i think this book was overly ambitious, poorly edited, the author should’ve written a memoir. but the author expresses that she’s hesitant to do that, worried about accidentally writing an instruction manual. idk, i get the feeling this author got a book deal because she’s a cool new york girlie in the correct scene, and then she wasn’t up to the task. which makes sense bc this is wildly ambitious for a first book!
this is mean, and i wish i had loved this book, but it was a huge letdown and my goodreads account is private, so i am secure in the knowledge that i won’t hurt the author’s feelings. amen
July 20, 2024
I've read several books around disordered eating and feel like I learned a lot from this one. A collection of essays that, while disjointed, covers American systemic attitudes towards eating disorders, including the toxicity of diet culture, pop culture's influence, and barriers to treatment. They weren't always super focused on an overarching theme...I don't know if tighter curation could have helped (I admittedly jumped into it before realizing it was essays written over time and collected, rather than a book of essays the author set out to write). It opened my eyes to the inefficacies of treatment centers and diagnostic challenges people face due to medical bias, and I also wanted more research into ED through race and gender lenses. The pop culture discourse involving shows like Girls and Fleabag was interesting to read, though I don't know how much of a clear connection there is between them and ED.
Ultimately, this seems like a book one could pick and choose what essays to read and what to skip. Clein does take measures to reduce triggers, by not including specific details and numbers, but def tread cautiously if you are an ED survivor.
Ultimately, this seems like a book one could pick and choose what essays to read and what to skip. Clein does take measures to reduce triggers, by not including specific details and numbers, but def tread cautiously if you are an ED survivor.
May 25, 2024
This was incredible. I cannot recommend enough to EVERYONE. The only eating disorder book I've read that understands it as a social and political and economic issue rather than an individual one.
Specifically the passages that discuss ED treatment facilities tendencies to identify your "ED voice" as something outside of yourself hit home. My ED voice is of course a part of me because of the environment I grew up in and the world I still live in.
Tons of references to the genius that is Jennifer's Body if that's your thing which why wouldn't it be. 6 stars!
Specifically the passages that discuss ED treatment facilities tendencies to identify your "ED voice" as something outside of yourself hit home. My ED voice is of course a part of me because of the environment I grew up in and the world I still live in.
Tons of references to the genius that is Jennifer's Body if that's your thing which why wouldn't it be. 6 stars!
April 30, 2024
a few thoughts:
- i would not recommend this book for anyone experiencing disordered eating or easily triggered by romanticizations of descriptions of ED. although clein takes pains to say that that’s not what she’s doing in this book…it’s a tough needle to thread and i don’t think she really does it well. parts of the book more or less feel like a guidebook for people looking for tips to perfect their eating disorders.
- as an aughts-era consumer of thinspo and pro-ana digital content myself, i find her defense of ED twt and tumblr and other digital spaces as places of community to be pretty ill-advised and naive
- casting a lot of blame for the prevalence and glamorization of eating disorders on pop culture and mass media feels so…obvious? and reductive?
- i would not recommend this book for anyone experiencing disordered eating or easily triggered by romanticizations of descriptions of ED. although clein takes pains to say that that’s not what she’s doing in this book…it’s a tough needle to thread and i don’t think she really does it well. parts of the book more or less feel like a guidebook for people looking for tips to perfect their eating disorders.
- as an aughts-era consumer of thinspo and pro-ana digital content myself, i find her defense of ED twt and tumblr and other digital spaces as places of community to be pretty ill-advised and naive
- casting a lot of blame for the prevalence and glamorization of eating disorders on pop culture and mass media feels so…obvious? and reductive?
April 2, 2024
Hmmmm... This had a lot of potential, but ultimately I think it's written for an incredibly specific audience that I can't quite identify. I suppose it is for sufferers of ED, but the content would be highly triggering, despite the author's determination to avoid the "memoir as manual" trap.
It contains a sometimes jarring juxtaposition between casual pop culture references (The O.C., Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Jennifer's Body, etc) and academic studies and the evolution of the DSM. Ultimately I came away knowing a lot about what's wrong with the treatment of eating disorders in the U.S. but I'm not sure I learned anything about better alternatives and preventative measures.
It contains a sometimes jarring juxtaposition between casual pop culture references (The O.C., Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Jennifer's Body, etc) and academic studies and the evolution of the DSM. Ultimately I came away knowing a lot about what's wrong with the treatment of eating disorders in the U.S. but I'm not sure I learned anything about better alternatives and preventative measures.
May 4, 2024
ordered this from the queens lib after my roommate told me clein had her book launch at the r*ver. unfortunately this is a lot of rambling on girlhood and society, which is not my truth… she tries to toe too many lines and ends up repeating the same liberal qualifications and disclaimers.
NOBODY ASKED BUT about the subject matter ill just say what ive been saying for years: eating d*sorders would benefit from anon meetings and 12 step programs and in general should be thought of as addictions. and all addiction should be approached philosophically (not through essays, i fear). peace ☮️ to everyone who feels compelled to tackle this topic 🧘🏻♀️ 🕯️
NOBODY ASKED BUT about the subject matter ill just say what ive been saying for years: eating d*sorders would benefit from anon meetings and 12 step programs and in general should be thought of as addictions. and all addiction should be approached philosophically (not through essays, i fear). peace ☮️ to everyone who feels compelled to tackle this topic 🧘🏻♀️ 🕯️
June 21, 2024
Only a fool doesn’t read a bridgo recommendation. I want to print out the last essay and carry it around with me and make people read it
February 23, 2024
Emmeline Cline takes the reader to the very heart of eating disorders. This is well researched and the writing on point. Prepare to be informed and maybe a little shocked. Trash eating is a new concept for me and with a social hierarchy of eating disorders, I imagine this is at the bottom. Anorexia taking the #1 spot. The need to be accepted and fit an ultra thin normal that is not realistic and perpetuated by the media is at the center of this issue. Skinny does not equal healthy and dieting causes eating disorders. When that sinks in, it makes a lot of sense. The rollercoaster of restricting food intake to reach a desired weight only to binge and gain it all back. Cline described it best as chaos and control. The most frustrating part was insurance. It certainly feels like insurance companies are focused on the dollar and not the burgeoning epidemic of eating disorders. Like a revolving door, patients are admitted and released, but the problem is not addressed, and the patient is deemed uncurable to be released and fend for themselves which often leads to death.
The essays in this book hit a number of topics pertaining to eating disorders and each one of them are informative. I highly recommend if this topic is of interest, or you know someone or you are dealing with an eating disorder.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
The essays in this book hit a number of topics pertaining to eating disorders and each one of them are informative. I highly recommend if this topic is of interest, or you know someone or you are dealing with an eating disorder.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
May 16, 2024
I found the essay on terminal AN thought provoking, but in general find the magnified focus on social causes of eating disorders maddening. In one example the author even seems to roll her eyes at the idea that there may be other underlying causes (genetics, trauma) outside of societal pressure. It’s an easy scapegoat to blame diet culture and society and this idea of being a skinny, sexy, sad girl. And it reduces EDs down to this vapid superficial desire to fit a certain image, a diet taken too far, which is both an oversimplification and a wholly unoriginal thought. Every campaign for awareness I see ends up being about the perils of diet culture.
She speaks against the hierarchy of eating disorders yet then seems to revere AN. My sense from reading is that she is not fully recovered - that’s not to say you need to be in order to speak on the subject, but I think you tend to gain wider perspective with recovery that feels sort of missing here. I do think it was brave of her to publish but these could’ve easily just been a series of blogposts. The tone was casual and quippy. There was a section on Wellbutrin that I’m still thinking about.
It was a miss for me but I did still read and finish it (but this probably tells you more about me and my interests than means anything about the quality of the writing) and it generated a lot of thought and response from me.
She speaks against the hierarchy of eating disorders yet then seems to revere AN. My sense from reading is that she is not fully recovered - that’s not to say you need to be in order to speak on the subject, but I think you tend to gain wider perspective with recovery that feels sort of missing here. I do think it was brave of her to publish but these could’ve easily just been a series of blogposts. The tone was casual and quippy. There was a section on Wellbutrin that I’m still thinking about.
It was a miss for me but I did still read and finish it (but this probably tells you more about me and my interests than means anything about the quality of the writing) and it generated a lot of thought and response from me.
March 7, 2024
a thought-provoking look at western beauty standards and eating disorders. full of intriguing analysis of pop culture and media's depictions of disordered eating habits, though i do wish that the sources emmeline clein drew from for this book hadn't almost all been so recent. i also do feel like some of the essays included in this book felt out of place and that this book didn't quite stay as strong with its throughline as i had hoped — all the essays were well-done, but the first half of the book or so was more coherent wrt the themes it explored. overall, though, i found this book a compelling exploration of media and culture's impact on women's self-conceptions.
March 27, 2024
loved this- felt very specific and true to girls who grew up learning how to be self destructive on tumblr but I think it has a lot of value outside of just seeing my niche internet experiences in a book. it contextualizes eating disorders within their treatment paradigms, fatphobia, diet culture and the pharmaceutical industry in really interesting ways. it feels like this book was written with care, collectivizing everyone who has experienced disordered eating into a sisterhood instead of being a how-to guide to anorexia.
June 25, 2024
I liked some of these essays and did not like others that felt completely disjointed from the topic but overall I enjoyed my time with this
Despite her best efforts to, I really think it is hard to write anything on the topic of EDs without in someway promoting or glamorizing it or it being triggering so I do say to read this with caution. I had to skip the wellbrutin essay bc it literally read like an advertisement
Despite her best efforts to, I really think it is hard to write anything on the topic of EDs without in someway promoting or glamorizing it or it being triggering so I do say to read this with caution. I had to skip the wellbrutin essay bc it literally read like an advertisement
August 12, 2024
I thought this might be more about diet culture in general from the subtitle, but this is all very focused on disordered eating. I would have liked more essays exploring the social factors that drive people to EDs, like the bit about Christianity/Judaism and the fasting and starving promoted as part of holiness. This otherwise still feels like the author hasn't bought into body positivity and health, but is trying to walk a center line between EDs and being overweight.
April 24, 2025
The awkward moment when you try so hard to write a book that doesn't romanticize eating disorders that you end up romanticizing eating disorders.
To be fair, not everything in this book was bad. I probably would have eaten this book up 8 years ago, but my slightly more adult-like brain couldn't get past the disorganization and justification of pro ana blogs (please, I thought we were done with this). I'm still kind of conflicted. Will report back..
To be fair, not everything in this book was bad. I probably would have eaten this book up 8 years ago, but my slightly more adult-like brain couldn't get past the disorganization and justification of pro ana blogs (please, I thought we were done with this). I'm still kind of conflicted. Will report back..
November 16, 2023
The most interesting part of this entire book on disordered eating is that a lot of the source material is so recent. I feel that a lot of popular books on eating disorders were written so long ago that a lot of them are outdated. In Dead Weight, social media is addressed frequently as it should with how much it can contribute to our reflections on body image.
May 23, 2024
Maybe this intro will include useless to you TMI but I came to this book because the topic is where I am right now. I am obsessing about weight. Having moved on from the traditional female experience of toying with an eating disorder in college, I lived decades of only minimally worrying (I'm still a woman in this society, so...). But recently, with getting older I've put on some weight. I decided to make some changes: eat fresher, increase protein, watch calories, try to be more plant based (which is hard when you want to push your protein up), step up with the workouts, attempt intermittent fasting, while still enjoying food (have you seen my instagram? I love food).... and before I knew it I was mildly or intensely obsessed with the whole thing, constantly checking nutritional contents and whether it was okay for me to eat this now or this much. And then I saw this book, it seemingly showing up at the perfect time for me. But what is the perfect book for me?
I feel like the perfect audience for this is exactly like Emmeline Clein herself: female, white, late 20s-early 30s, college educated, at least middle class, with a past heavy on the eating disorder. The more you fit into this demographic, the more this book will likely hit with you. I mean sure, Clein makes an effort, she repeatedly highlights the additional difficulties black women face when struggling with an ED (getting diagnosed, finding treatment, societal judgement: there is a good amount of racism involved as if there ever is a walk of life where society doesn't manage to throw that in), she points out it's not just young women who deal with this. And yet, so often this is very much about her perspective and her experience. She says that this is not just about white girls but writes a lot about the white girl experience. It is more memoir infused, a lot of exorcising personal demons here, and I think because it was titled 'Essays' I had some broader, less self involved expectations.
There were parts where I learnt things, some parts I could personally connect to, some parts where I feel like this book delivered on the title and took broad looks at society, EDs, beauty standards and pressures but too often this fell back into this very personal view, this very one sided POV and at times was very repetitive. So I appreciated the parts that worked for me and I grappled with the parts that didn't. And maybe that's all I could ever expect from a book like this, that some elements will resonate and inform me, and others not so much.
With that I preferred the later chapters much more, some of those because they hit more at what I was hoping to get from this book but also because these looked more at society in wider terms. I felt very validated when she talked about how recent trends of influencers and celebrities claiming to aiming to be healthy as the main goal yet underneath it's the same BS since that somehow still almost always aligns with skinny and losing weight and having the perfect body. I learnt about the term orthorexia and it's recent resurgence and that it is something I might be heading towards if I don't watch out. We get into feminist issues where the sexist society gets blamed for the unrealistic beauty standards it sets up for us, yet I am not sure I 100% agree. While the standards are different, there is also a lot of pressure on men when it comes to looks. I do agree that women are hit harder by this but I believe that society puts a lot of pressure on all of us to be perfect beings. So I think the true issues are more complicated than yelling sexism and patriarchy.
But I learnt a lot about modern culture, things like the pro-ana movement or bimbotok were things I was not familiar with at all (likely showing my age). But I found some of her framing of that questionable. She is very supportive of the pro-ana world, occasionally admits that yes there is a problem but because she experienced support from there in the past defends it to a fault. This defense attitude has also a lot to do with the disastrous stage of treatment options, so I get it, but come on, some nuance would be welcome. I agree though on the point she made about how ridiculous that these teenage (!) girls get villainized for reposting magazine pictures of skinny models: that basically the double standard is in a magazine the photo is beautiful and a body ideal to live up to for women, but when it gets shown in the context of EDs it is dangerous. Says a lot about our society.
I found it shocking but not surprising to learn that American insurance is its own special hurdle: you need to be underweight enough to receive coverage and if that isn't obviously twisted and counterproductive I don't know what is. But also the treatment itself where it rarely receives the same approach as addiction treatments but rather than create communities patients get pitched against each other, are supposed to see each other as enemies so not to enable each other's EDs, again: obviously flawed. They get often taught to mistrust their own feelings and instincts because that is the problem, not the world telling you to be skinny but you having a dismorphed view, which occasionally is true but we all know the double standard out there, of what people say and think about bigger bodies... But I also got frustrated when Clein becries that state of treatment and cites endless sources to support her claim without offering much in alternative options other than the community of pro-ana boards. The ginormous numbers of failure rates and suicidal rates among sufferers speak loudly but I always get annoyed when a non-fiction writer highlights problems without offering much of a solution because to me that seems not much better. Sometimes the writing truly ran in circles in that regard, is likely Clein's own cry for help here.
I think I took enough from this book to value it and I think a lot of aspects will stay in my mind for a long time. But I can't help it, I was frustrated sometimes, I wanted more. But maybe that is just on me. That I was hoping this book could not only give me a hug from people who I don't exactly align with but who I get enough to feel part of. But I wanted it to provide me with a light and a path. And that's a lot to ask, I mean if that was so easy there would hardly be a reason to write this book in the first place. I don't read self help because I firmly believe that 95% of it sucks but I think I wanted something closer to self help from this, which is so not what this book was or should be about. So, sure, some of my issues are mine and not the book's. But in my reviews I always try to reflect my reading experience. I would say if this interests you, sorry, you very much have to read it and form your own opinion. I can only give you this.
3.5*
I feel like the perfect audience for this is exactly like Emmeline Clein herself: female, white, late 20s-early 30s, college educated, at least middle class, with a past heavy on the eating disorder. The more you fit into this demographic, the more this book will likely hit with you. I mean sure, Clein makes an effort, she repeatedly highlights the additional difficulties black women face when struggling with an ED (getting diagnosed, finding treatment, societal judgement: there is a good amount of racism involved as if there ever is a walk of life where society doesn't manage to throw that in), she points out it's not just young women who deal with this. And yet, so often this is very much about her perspective and her experience. She says that this is not just about white girls but writes a lot about the white girl experience. It is more memoir infused, a lot of exorcising personal demons here, and I think because it was titled 'Essays' I had some broader, less self involved expectations.
There were parts where I learnt things, some parts I could personally connect to, some parts where I feel like this book delivered on the title and took broad looks at society, EDs, beauty standards and pressures but too often this fell back into this very personal view, this very one sided POV and at times was very repetitive. So I appreciated the parts that worked for me and I grappled with the parts that didn't. And maybe that's all I could ever expect from a book like this, that some elements will resonate and inform me, and others not so much.
With that I preferred the later chapters much more, some of those because they hit more at what I was hoping to get from this book but also because these looked more at society in wider terms. I felt very validated when she talked about how recent trends of influencers and celebrities claiming to aiming to be healthy as the main goal yet underneath it's the same BS since that somehow still almost always aligns with skinny and losing weight and having the perfect body. I learnt about the term orthorexia and it's recent resurgence and that it is something I might be heading towards if I don't watch out. We get into feminist issues where the sexist society gets blamed for the unrealistic beauty standards it sets up for us, yet I am not sure I 100% agree. While the standards are different, there is also a lot of pressure on men when it comes to looks. I do agree that women are hit harder by this but I believe that society puts a lot of pressure on all of us to be perfect beings. So I think the true issues are more complicated than yelling sexism and patriarchy.
But I learnt a lot about modern culture, things like the pro-ana movement or bimbotok were things I was not familiar with at all (likely showing my age). But I found some of her framing of that questionable. She is very supportive of the pro-ana world, occasionally admits that yes there is a problem but because she experienced support from there in the past defends it to a fault. This defense attitude has also a lot to do with the disastrous stage of treatment options, so I get it, but come on, some nuance would be welcome. I agree though on the point she made about how ridiculous that these teenage (!) girls get villainized for reposting magazine pictures of skinny models: that basically the double standard is in a magazine the photo is beautiful and a body ideal to live up to for women, but when it gets shown in the context of EDs it is dangerous. Says a lot about our society.
I found it shocking but not surprising to learn that American insurance is its own special hurdle: you need to be underweight enough to receive coverage and if that isn't obviously twisted and counterproductive I don't know what is. But also the treatment itself where it rarely receives the same approach as addiction treatments but rather than create communities patients get pitched against each other, are supposed to see each other as enemies so not to enable each other's EDs, again: obviously flawed. They get often taught to mistrust their own feelings and instincts because that is the problem, not the world telling you to be skinny but you having a dismorphed view, which occasionally is true but we all know the double standard out there, of what people say and think about bigger bodies... But I also got frustrated when Clein becries that state of treatment and cites endless sources to support her claim without offering much in alternative options other than the community of pro-ana boards. The ginormous numbers of failure rates and suicidal rates among sufferers speak loudly but I always get annoyed when a non-fiction writer highlights problems without offering much of a solution because to me that seems not much better. Sometimes the writing truly ran in circles in that regard, is likely Clein's own cry for help here.
I think I took enough from this book to value it and I think a lot of aspects will stay in my mind for a long time. But I can't help it, I was frustrated sometimes, I wanted more. But maybe that is just on me. That I was hoping this book could not only give me a hug from people who I don't exactly align with but who I get enough to feel part of. But I wanted it to provide me with a light and a path. And that's a lot to ask, I mean if that was so easy there would hardly be a reason to write this book in the first place. I don't read self help because I firmly believe that 95% of it sucks but I think I wanted something closer to self help from this, which is so not what this book was or should be about. So, sure, some of my issues are mine and not the book's. But in my reviews I always try to reflect my reading experience. I would say if this interests you, sorry, you very much have to read it and form your own opinion. I can only give you this.
3.5*
April 30, 2024
Would be a six star read if i was haley pham. so fucking amazing and insightful and a complete picture of the actual trap it is to be a woman in the modern day and how you're expected to perform as one. my fellow former ed twitter sisters sound off in the comments
January 6, 2025
I admire the work that goes into a book like this. Emmeline Cline has clearly put so much thought and work into this book which is probably also why I found it so disappointing (disheartening?) I think there is also a reality that she is writing about an impossibly hard topic that (still) has yet to be written about in a way that is both informative and non triggering. I found myself disappointed, however, that she does seem to do quite a bit of the guiding she claims she is working to avoid. I don’t think redacting pounds or calories is enough when you still offer meals eaten or not eaten, programs TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS, romanticization with not enough to undo that about certain drugs, lifestyles, looks, etc. It also irked me stylistically the way she dips into occasional metaphor/preaching — this rarely felt profound nor strong enough to work. The book also felt woke mobby at moments, making points just to make them or making repetitive points that don’t have enough juice to really hit. There is also, however, this fixation with girlhood that felt both romanticizing but also limiting. She at first makes the claim that eating disorders affect more than just the white waifish women we tend to associate them with but then does little to deeply deviate from that point. The constant reference to “girls” bothered me. Not always but more than I would have liked. This also leads me to her discussion of pro-ana or general ed tumblr pages/other social medias which I found to be extremely disconcerting. While she touches on an important point, that we should allow people to grieve and heal and hurt with people that understand them, these communities did also do a grotesque amount of harm in ways I think she improperly addresses. I have been on some of these forums (though not as deeply as her) and have never found them to be anything but extremely triggering of my own disordered eating habits. That is not to say that they cannot be helpful or important spaces of community, just that the gravity she gave to them felt unfounded (and harmful, even.)
I realize I’ve written a lot of negative about this book and I want to play a bit of devils advocate. I think a lot of this book is done well, or touches on things that are so relevant and so not talked about. Part of the reason I found it so difficult to read was how astute and centered her chapters are. From the way Instagram reels/tiktok give us such a minuscule scope of what it is to be a person and an attractive one to orthorexia to the bimbofication of feminism or the way body positivity was so (not that) close to the very books and tv shows she talked about (and so beyond) it was hit after hit. This was really fucking difficult to read at points but also extremely validating (and important.) We are surrounded by fucked up triggers, even when we don’t seek them out our seek to avoid them they’re still there. I appreciated also her analysis of the systems that have set feminism, body positivity, food accessibility, etc, up to fail. I like the way she called out our narrow view of what it means to have an unhealthy relationship with one’s body and with food. I like the way she points to the factors beyond just the self and beyond just the tropes that lead to inherent/external/systemic/near inescapable unhealthy relationships with every topic she discusses in this book. (That being said, I do feel she gets lost sometimes in the system vs individual bit, but does this while pointing out things we rarely take into account when discussing eating disorders.) Appreciated her evidenced callouts of the health care industry & eating disorder treatment + the way this often makes people sicker. There was a lot of important stuff in this book, there is just the reality that this is an unfortunate and impossible topic to write about. I felt a bit disappointed also by the way she gets lost in the way she attempts to weave data/personal story/metaphor/empirical evidence/analytical evidence/research/literally all of it together. Cline has clearly done so much to make the best book she can, it just really unfortunately (in my opinion) could not get there/still romanticized a lifestyle she tries so hard to not.
I don’t think I could recommend this book to any friend that has struggled with disordered eating or an eating disorder though there are definitely bits I could pull out from it that I would recommend 1000 times over. I am truly so glad I read this book though really it was not easy (ask my mother who asked me to stop.) as all my reviews go, these thoughts are immediate and for me as a way to keep track and remember, so if anyone has read this I realize it’s disordered and non-sensical. Will prob add more thoughts because it left me with a lot to say/a lot I feel.
I realize I’ve written a lot of negative about this book and I want to play a bit of devils advocate. I think a lot of this book is done well, or touches on things that are so relevant and so not talked about. Part of the reason I found it so difficult to read was how astute and centered her chapters are. From the way Instagram reels/tiktok give us such a minuscule scope of what it is to be a person and an attractive one to orthorexia to the bimbofication of feminism or the way body positivity was so (not that) close to the very books and tv shows she talked about (and so beyond) it was hit after hit. This was really fucking difficult to read at points but also extremely validating (and important.) We are surrounded by fucked up triggers, even when we don’t seek them out our seek to avoid them they’re still there. I appreciated also her analysis of the systems that have set feminism, body positivity, food accessibility, etc, up to fail. I like the way she called out our narrow view of what it means to have an unhealthy relationship with one’s body and with food. I like the way she points to the factors beyond just the self and beyond just the tropes that lead to inherent/external/systemic/near inescapable unhealthy relationships with every topic she discusses in this book. (That being said, I do feel she gets lost sometimes in the system vs individual bit, but does this while pointing out things we rarely take into account when discussing eating disorders.) Appreciated her evidenced callouts of the health care industry & eating disorder treatment + the way this often makes people sicker. There was a lot of important stuff in this book, there is just the reality that this is an unfortunate and impossible topic to write about. I felt a bit disappointed also by the way she gets lost in the way she attempts to weave data/personal story/metaphor/empirical evidence/analytical evidence/research/literally all of it together. Cline has clearly done so much to make the best book she can, it just really unfortunately (in my opinion) could not get there/still romanticized a lifestyle she tries so hard to not.
I don’t think I could recommend this book to any friend that has struggled with disordered eating or an eating disorder though there are definitely bits I could pull out from it that I would recommend 1000 times over. I am truly so glad I read this book though really it was not easy (ask my mother who asked me to stop.) as all my reviews go, these thoughts are immediate and for me as a way to keep track and remember, so if anyone has read this I realize it’s disordered and non-sensical. Will prob add more thoughts because it left me with a lot to say/a lot I feel.
July 9, 2025
i had to DNF this book. i understand her approach to writing about EDs is coming from a highly personal place but i think she claims way too much universality in what she is saying by tying EDs up with “girlhood.” do beauty standards inevitably push girls into desiring thinness? of course. but this book is romanticizing and fantasizing about thinness and the physical feminine ideal so much that the author comes across as putting a stamp of approval on disordered eating.
a line that i truly truly truly hated: “put a group of girls in a house and you’ll catch the rank scent of vomit soon enough.” i am….unsettled by this generalization of “girlhood” as if it is a claiming of universality. if you are recovering from EDs or in the throes of them, i don’t think this is a good book for you to read tbh
a line that i truly truly truly hated: “put a group of girls in a house and you’ll catch the rank scent of vomit soon enough.” i am….unsettled by this generalization of “girlhood” as if it is a claiming of universality. if you are recovering from EDs or in the throes of them, i don’t think this is a good book for you to read tbh
March 10, 2024
Required reading for all humans. This book made me feel physically sick, shaky, and teary. “Have you ever seen a girl and wanted to possess her? Not like a man would, with his property fantasies. Possess her like a girl or a ghost of one: shove your soul in her mouth and inhabit her skin, live her life? Then you've experienced girlhood, or at least one like mine.”
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