Cold Fusion (How) by Doris Haggis-On-Whey

The Haggis-on-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance

by Doris Haggis-on-Whey

For many years the scientific and educational communities have wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar-pretenders would find the means to publish a series of reference books aimed at children but filled with ludicrous misinformation. These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough but would read as if written by people who should not have written them. Sadly, that day is upon us. The fourth book in the HOW series, Cold Fusion, is to be feared. Like its predecessors, Giraffes? Giraffes! and Animals of the Ocean, Cold Fusion must also be kept far from the young people in your life. This book reveals the secrets of cold fusion, one of the most controversial scientific pursuits that can be conducted in a bathtub.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Graphic Novels

Hardcover

First published December 1, 2008

About the author

Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey are a joint pseudonym of Dave Eggers and his brother Christopher.

Reviews

[Craig New · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply the greatest scientific series ever written. I felt myself getting smarter with every turn of the page. I highly recommend this for anyone needing a solid foundation in cold fusion, or socks.

[Luke Shea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore these books so deeply. This one adopts a baffling new anti-joke where occasionally it will just drop in a chunk of non-humor that somehow gets funnier the longer it goes without a joke in it. There's a timeline of the history of nuclear research that is, as far as I can tell, completely factual and jokeless, followed by a timeline of Eddie Money's life, also completely factual and jokeless, followed by a timeline of the history of timelines. One of the weirdest things you can read with your kids.

[Brad · Rating 1 out of 5]

One or two chuckles in here, but mostly head scratching because my actual knowledge of cold fusion is nil. I know the serious isn't meant to be taken seriously, but when the jokes are about already over-my-my-head subjects like "palladium" it is difficult to find the laughter.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny but not nearly as funny as “Giraffes? Giraffes!”

[Riley Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so very silly.

I relate to Benny. I, too, like car rides because I know where I’m going to sit.

[Jack Waters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Doris and Benny Haggis-on-Whey are at it again, this time satiating our minds on the wonders of Cold Fusion in this non-sequitur filled, delightsome gold star on the shirt of publishing.

I know what you're thinking. I already mentioned Vol. 1, re: giraffes, and Cold Fusion is Vol. 4 in this series. What gives? I'll tell you what gives. And it isn't Cold Fusion. But I actually can't tell you what gives. Let me just saw that perhaps I read this one after Vol. 1, or if you prefer, I went against the chronologically-released grain because I'm risque like that.

The history of Cold Fusion is presented as a timeline early on in the book and is superimposed -- obviously, I do not need to explain with what -- over a timeline of Eddie Money's career. These Two Tickets to Paradise are among many to be found within the pages. Also, many more Utah references to boot.

Cold Fusion is "one of the most controversial scientific pursuits that can be conducted in a bathtub" and as such, you'd perhaps do well to read with gloved hands. Or go to Beastie-Boys-music-video lengths and wear a full body suit.

These Haggis-on-Whey books can be found at the Orem Public Library. Well, when I return them.

Dr Doris Haggis-on-Whey and Benny Doris Haggis-on-Whey have a close, seemingly DNA-ly association with Dave Eggers and his young brother Toph, the two of which are chronicled in Eggers' memoir 'A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.' He that hath ears.

[Stefanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not of a scientific mind, and I don't pretend to be. So I was pleased to discover that Dr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, one of my favorite authors, published a book of astounding scientific measure. I learned much about cold fusion (and its superiority to hot fusion and fission) in the time I read this book, that I'll be able to produce it myself (using the steps that begin on page four, and including the tips on page twenty). I also learned how much I could stand to make by using cold fusion, that residents of Lancaster, PA are far too horsey to ever be good at cold fusion, and just how noble those noble gases are.

It is upsetting that the other books in the HOW series are so difficult to find, but such is the life of a scientist, I suppose.

[Kayti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doris Haggis-on-Whey is a genius. Her writing style is clear and concise and I learned a lot from her. Even though Benny's bits are a little strange, I still enjoyed them thoroughly. I'm glad I was able to read the most important book of our time, your time and their time.

Honestly though, these books make me laugh like crazy. I read this on the train and must have looked like a crazy person - an adult who was reading and laughing at a picture book in public. Ridiculous, but amazing.

[Stephen Theaker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gentle comedy in the vein of Look Around You.

[Philitsa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, McSweeney's. You're so silly.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oddly, I think maybe they even had to do a little research for this one...

[Nihil · Rating 5 out of 5]

read any of the HOW books, but especially Cold Fusion.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am getting ready to go "off the grid" in 2051, and this book is going to launch me in that direction, pronto!

[Timo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This boook, in which this auther plans to write many other books, is funny and non-scenseical.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good!