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Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy
Working at Relational Depth in Counseling and Psychotherapy is a groundbreaking text which goes to the very heart of the therapeutic meeting between therapist and client. Focusing on the concept of 'relational depth, ' authors Dave Mearns and Mick Cooper describe a form of encounter in which therapist and client experience profound feelings of contact and engagement with each other and in which the client has an opportunity to explore whatever is experienced as most fundamental to her or his existence.
200 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
December 10, 2022
One of the very best books on psychotherapy that I have read (or rather listened to - there is a WONDERFUL production of it available on Audible).
Authors Dave Mearns and Mick Cooper have co-created a masterwork.
An absolute classic.
A MUST READ for therapists (OLD and NEW).
There is so much wisdom and goodness in this book.
I can’t summarize it.
The best I can do is urge you to read it.
Given that.
Mearns and Cooper begin the book by reflecting on the topic of relational depth.
What is it.
How does it function in therapy.
How do we achieve it.
Is it necessary for good therapy to occur.
These are all exceedingly difficult issues to encounter.
And this is the absolute best text on these issues that I am aware of.
You won’t find techniques, or anything like a manualized therapeutic model in this text.
You will find deeply considered philosophical principles, richly illustrated case examples and uncommonly honest, and helpful clinical insight. Mearns and Cooper speak to issues we have all faced as therapists, and more broadly as human beings. As such, this text is enormously validating, and clarifying, and normalizing, and all that, and more.
THE RELATIONAL REVOLUTION.
In the final chapter of the book, Mearns and Cooper argue that a paradigm shift is underway in psychotherapy. While that may be wishful thinking. I’m 100% here for it.
Mearns and Cooper observe that the current medical model of psychotherapy, that views human suffering in terms of “pathology” and “symptomatology”, and views progress and in psychotherapy in terms of “symptom reduction”, and return to “premorbid or baseline functionality” is bankrupt.
Mearns and Cooper assert that the ABC model of psychotherapy (remember that old psychology school chestnut?), wherein therapy begins by identifying a “problem” and developing a “treatment plan” of measurable outcomes is simply not realistic or even pertinent to what actually happens in good therapy.
Mearns and Cooper argue that the human being is where therapy begins. And the relationship is where therapy the healing occurs. And further, sometimes (probably all the time) people experience more (not less) of their painful emotions and difficult thoughts in therapy. It’s the turning towards the suffering, within the authentically supportive relationship that engenders healing and growth in therapy.
Mearns and Cooper observe that very few of us (in the field) are willing or able to stand up to the current system. So we operate in secret, doing the good work that we do. While pretending that we are doing it how the manuals and insurance companies say to.
It’s the old “treat relationally, document behaviorally” adage that I myself have expounded on many occasions.
Mearns and Cooper end the book by with the observation that “the emperor is naked”, and that the time for a relational revolution is upon us.
Again.
I’M 100% HERE FOR IT.
As an aside.
This is my 700th book review on goodreads.
As such.
I wanted to pick a very special book.
I’m happy to say.
This one hit the bullseye 🎯.
I can’t recommend this book enough.
Superb.
5/5 stars ✨
Authors Dave Mearns and Mick Cooper have co-created a masterwork.
An absolute classic.
A MUST READ for therapists (OLD and NEW).
There is so much wisdom and goodness in this book.
I can’t summarize it.
The best I can do is urge you to read it.
Given that.
Mearns and Cooper begin the book by reflecting on the topic of relational depth.
What is it.
How does it function in therapy.
How do we achieve it.
Is it necessary for good therapy to occur.
These are all exceedingly difficult issues to encounter.
And this is the absolute best text on these issues that I am aware of.
You won’t find techniques, or anything like a manualized therapeutic model in this text.
You will find deeply considered philosophical principles, richly illustrated case examples and uncommonly honest, and helpful clinical insight. Mearns and Cooper speak to issues we have all faced as therapists, and more broadly as human beings. As such, this text is enormously validating, and clarifying, and normalizing, and all that, and more.
THE RELATIONAL REVOLUTION.
In the final chapter of the book, Mearns and Cooper argue that a paradigm shift is underway in psychotherapy. While that may be wishful thinking. I’m 100% here for it.
Mearns and Cooper observe that the current medical model of psychotherapy, that views human suffering in terms of “pathology” and “symptomatology”, and views progress and in psychotherapy in terms of “symptom reduction”, and return to “premorbid or baseline functionality” is bankrupt.
Mearns and Cooper assert that the ABC model of psychotherapy (remember that old psychology school chestnut?), wherein therapy begins by identifying a “problem” and developing a “treatment plan” of measurable outcomes is simply not realistic or even pertinent to what actually happens in good therapy.
Mearns and Cooper argue that the human being is where therapy begins. And the relationship is where therapy the healing occurs. And further, sometimes (probably all the time) people experience more (not less) of their painful emotions and difficult thoughts in therapy. It’s the turning towards the suffering, within the authentically supportive relationship that engenders healing and growth in therapy.
Mearns and Cooper observe that very few of us (in the field) are willing or able to stand up to the current system. So we operate in secret, doing the good work that we do. While pretending that we are doing it how the manuals and insurance companies say to.
It’s the old “treat relationally, document behaviorally” adage that I myself have expounded on many occasions.
Mearns and Cooper end the book by with the observation that “the emperor is naked”, and that the time for a relational revolution is upon us.
Again.
I’M 100% HERE FOR IT.
As an aside.
This is my 700th book review on goodreads.
As such.
I wanted to pick a very special book.
I’m happy to say.
This one hit the bullseye 🎯.
I can’t recommend this book enough.
Superb.
5/5 stars ✨
September 26, 2016
This book was possibly one of the best texts on counselling/psychology I have read to date. Recommended to me by one of my excellent lecturers. The authors exudes warmth and empathy. I don't think I've read anything quite like it, whereby it is clear that the therapist welcomes, accepts and works flexibly with a client. Which sounds odd given my training and working background. But it's true. Where are more people like this...?
Including two main case studies focused on a person who drinks and an ex army person it talks us through the process of therapy sessions that at times were very challenging. The language and attitude conveyed in my opinion is exemplary; what communicating real unconditional positive regard is, being present and available to your client and most importantly understanding oneself in such a career and what experiences of our own might lend us an insight into how to reach true relational depth in what is most definitely a unique and privileged relationship.
As a psychology graduate about to embark on a professional doctorate, this has been the most valuable reads yet, along with another one of my lecturer's recommendations - Counselling for Toads. One of my real issues through the years has been many people unwilling to share true experiences and 'technique', making counselling approaches out to be somewhat magical and elitist but I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with some excellent academics, counsellors and psychologists who have provided me with a damn good grounding and pointed me in the right direction. I really value all of this and what this book gives you is a blow by blow account from a person centred perspective, the dos and the donts but also making it quite clear that there's no wrong way if we are aware, open and accepting of the person in front of us.
I highly recommend this book for anyone with an interest in learning how to accept individuals and their many parts on any level. Or at least a desire to understand further some of the more complex sides that at times we all might have in line with our experiences. For those of you on a psychology/counselling pathway, a must!
Including two main case studies focused on a person who drinks and an ex army person it talks us through the process of therapy sessions that at times were very challenging. The language and attitude conveyed in my opinion is exemplary; what communicating real unconditional positive regard is, being present and available to your client and most importantly understanding oneself in such a career and what experiences of our own might lend us an insight into how to reach true relational depth in what is most definitely a unique and privileged relationship.
As a psychology graduate about to embark on a professional doctorate, this has been the most valuable reads yet, along with another one of my lecturer's recommendations - Counselling for Toads. One of my real issues through the years has been many people unwilling to share true experiences and 'technique', making counselling approaches out to be somewhat magical and elitist but I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with some excellent academics, counsellors and psychologists who have provided me with a damn good grounding and pointed me in the right direction. I really value all of this and what this book gives you is a blow by blow account from a person centred perspective, the dos and the donts but also making it quite clear that there's no wrong way if we are aware, open and accepting of the person in front of us.
I highly recommend this book for anyone with an interest in learning how to accept individuals and their many parts on any level. Or at least a desire to understand further some of the more complex sides that at times we all might have in line with our experiences. For those of you on a psychology/counselling pathway, a must!
June 9, 2021
Amazing book. Great exploration of relational depth. The book answered many questions I have had for many years.
June 11, 2023
Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy by Dave Mearns presents readers with a challenging and occasionally frustrating reading experience. The book imbues relational depth with an aura of rarity, making it seem like an unattainable and mystical phenomenon. Consequently, doubts arise regarding one's capacity to establish and cultivate such depth in relationships.
As the book delves into the intricacies of relational depth, it evokes a disconcerting question: Does the act of acquiring knowledge about it somehow diminish its very essence? This quandary brings to mind Krishnamurti's poignant quote, where teaching a child the name of a bird seemingly robs them of the pure experience of seeing it. Similarly, learning about relational depth can leave one feeling as though the understanding of it erodes its authentic manifestation. This predicament elicited a sense of annoyance towards the book itself.
In essence, 'Working at Relational Depth' confronts readers with the inherent challenges of grasping the elusive concept it explores. It prompts self-doubt and calls into question the accessibility of relational depth. Yet, within this challenging terrain lies an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. By grappling with the book's content, readers embark on a journey that encourages deeper thought on fostering meaningful connections.
As the book delves into the intricacies of relational depth, it evokes a disconcerting question: Does the act of acquiring knowledge about it somehow diminish its very essence? This quandary brings to mind Krishnamurti's poignant quote, where teaching a child the name of a bird seemingly robs them of the pure experience of seeing it. Similarly, learning about relational depth can leave one feeling as though the understanding of it erodes its authentic manifestation. This predicament elicited a sense of annoyance towards the book itself.
In essence, 'Working at Relational Depth' confronts readers with the inherent challenges of grasping the elusive concept it explores. It prompts self-doubt and calls into question the accessibility of relational depth. Yet, within this challenging terrain lies an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. By grappling with the book's content, readers embark on a journey that encourages deeper thought on fostering meaningful connections.
August 29, 2018
I picked this up as the Mearns and Cooper approach is a part of my Diploma course, so I felt reading this would be a good idea to get a handle on what I'm going to be doing, and not only am I glad I read the book, I'm also very excited for the course.
The structure of the chapters makes sense, and gives the reader a building base of knowledge as well as the pinnacle of the presentation of the two main case studies, one of which (Rick) I found incredibly moving.
Overall an excellent book, easy to follow, and illuminating. I would recommend to anyone.
The structure of the chapters makes sense, and gives the reader a building base of knowledge as well as the pinnacle of the presentation of the two main case studies, one of which (Rick) I found incredibly moving.
Overall an excellent book, easy to follow, and illuminating. I would recommend to anyone.
October 24, 2020
Rereading this for a work related presentation. This second time around, I liked it even more. A good resume about relational depth. It is really easy to read. However, I would love to read a bit more of the authors work with clients and their difficulties. I found I learned so much with this chapters.
April 19, 2019
An important book that examines the idea that the relationship between client and therapist is fundamental for good therapy to take place. Through the course of the book there are some interesting case studies between male therapist and male client, both cases were quite extreme and therefore the ways that the relationship was built reflected this in terms of the language used and the way the therapist shared themselves. I found myself longing for other examples of more ordinary therapy encounters that most therapists are likely to encounter and definitely would have welcomed a more nuanced exploration of working with difference, be that gender or ethnicity. At times I felt that Mearns is a little quick to blow his own trumpet, which I found distracting. The last chapter says its about a revolution but again I was wanting more diversity.
In summary I didn't love it the way that some people appear to, I did enjoy some of the chapters and the way it explores and encourages a deeper understanding of the therapeutic process and how therapists can be with their clients.
In summary I didn't love it the way that some people appear to, I did enjoy some of the chapters and the way it explores and encourages a deeper understanding of the therapeutic process and how therapists can be with their clients.
October 20, 2024
Absolutely loved this book.
I took away so much from it, I particular enjoyed the real life examples and the reflections on those sessions. They were so honest and vulnerable and touched me.
I also appreciated the in depth inclusion of congruence and how much being authentic contributes to the relationship.
I think this is a gem and beneficial to read for anyone where in training or in practise.
I took away so much from it, I particular enjoyed the real life examples and the reflections on those sessions. They were so honest and vulnerable and touched me.
I also appreciated the in depth inclusion of congruence and how much being authentic contributes to the relationship.
I think this is a gem and beneficial to read for anyone where in training or in practise.
November 17, 2020
String point but not really new.
October 21, 2023
Was amazing to listen too
And now want to listen to it while reading along one of the two copies I didn't realise I had.
And now want to listen to it while reading along one of the two copies I didn't realise I had.
September 3, 2025
A must for any counselling student.
April 3, 2016
I loved this book! Whilst dealing with a technical aspect of person-centered theory (examining Rogers' notion of presence and advocating the blending of the seperate 'core conditions' into an holistic therapist attitude), the presentation is immediate and personable, the chapter divisions building one upon the other, but discrete enough to facilitate individual referencing later on.
The core of the book for me are the two chapters of client-therapist transcripts, which clearly illustrate the concept in vivo. Comfortingly for the trainee counsellor I presently am, Mearns is not afraid to show where he gets it 'wrong'. When the therapeutic relationship is there, when client and counsellor have trust in each other, getting it 'wrong' isn't a catastrophe and, if acknowledged and worked with, can act to deepen the relationship (just as long as it's not too often wrong). Phew!
This is undoubtedly one of the books I will be returning to again and again.
The core of the book for me are the two chapters of client-therapist transcripts, which clearly illustrate the concept in vivo. Comfortingly for the trainee counsellor I presently am, Mearns is not afraid to show where he gets it 'wrong'. When the therapeutic relationship is there, when client and counsellor have trust in each other, getting it 'wrong' isn't a catastrophe and, if acknowledged and worked with, can act to deepen the relationship (just as long as it's not too often wrong). Phew!
This is undoubtedly one of the books I will be returning to again and again.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews