Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder

by Rick Moskovitz

Borderline personality disorder accounts for almost 25 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations in this country. Lost in the Mirror takes readers behind the erratic behavior of this puzzling disorder, examining its underlying causes and revealing the unimaginable pain and fear beneath its surface.-- "Booklist"

Genres: Psychology, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Illness, Psychiatry, Memoir

224 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Rick Moskovitz is a Harvard educated psychiatrist who taught psychotherapy and spent nearly four decades listening to his patients tell their stories. After leaving practice, he in turn became a storyteller, writing science fiction that explores the psychological consequences of living in a world of expanding possibilities.

His Brink of Life Trilogy begins with the quest for immortality in the mid-21st century and concludes with a search for the origin of human life. In Shared Madness, he returned to his roots as a psychiatrist to write a first person tale of a psychiatrist who, while treating a psychotic patient, descends into madness and finds himself at the nexus of a deadly mystery.

Carousel Music explores his fascination with the subjective and malleable nature of memory and how our memories create the narrative of our identities.

Reviews

[Julie Corbett · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a reader who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for nearly 26 years now, BPD has played a huge part in my life.
If only this book was around when I was in my 20's. Emergency room doctors had no idea what to say or do and neither did psychiatrists or therapists. I was treated horribly because everyone ASSUMED things about me. For example, yes I have self-harmed literally hundreds of times but I NEVER intentionally tried to commit suicide.
My family and friends need to read this book to really understand who I am and what is BPD!!!

[Arnav Sinha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though I found the book a little too simplistic, particularly with the examples cited, and despite my reservations with Freudian explanations for human behavior, I think this is a very helpful, sensitive and compassionate guide for both patients of BPD as well as people who live with, and love, these patients.

Particularly in a society where a visit to a psychiatrist is meant to be kept under wraps and where many view even depression as a way to garner attention, it would be very helpful to understand the complicated animal that BPD is.

I was diagnosed with BPD a few months back, and the diagnosis, and the subsequent research that I have done on the ailment, has helped me better understand and come to terms with many recurring problems I have faced through my life, and the pain I have caused people close to me. BPD can be a very confusing and traumatic experience for the patient and his/her family, and a book like this is very useful in helping explain some of the symptoms, without seeming like a justification for truant behavior.

Whether you are a patient, or know someone who suffers from BPD (and there is a very good chance you do), or are just interested in learning more about a still little-understood condition, this book can be a very effective first step.

[Elizabeth Puntolillo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well-known books on BPD are aimed more at the loved ones, advocating for them and providing information and coping techniques. This one advocates for the patient, speaking from inside the disorder with understanding and compassion.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author Richard Moskovitz is a psychiatrist, and he portrays the intense suffering people with borderline personality disorder experience and explains how the condition is often the result of some really nasty childhood traumas. It helped me have more empathy towards those who have some of the common characteristics, which include extreme emotionality as well as the tendency to fall into a pattern of idealizing people, then turning around and villainizing them. Although this book is a little dated (from 1996), I appreciate its insights. It is kind and generous to both the sufferers and to those who marry or are otherwise involved with them.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book to someone that suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, as it helped me to understand the many facets of what can cause a person to have and/or develop this disorder, as well as methods for treating it and learning to live with and deal with it.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Taught me things I needed to know. Expanded my horizons.

[Alberta Cerino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative

Highly recommend. Insightful and instructive. Five stars! I've taken the knowledge and am now more receptive to my DBT sessions.

[Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very well thought out and easy for the average person to understand. I really enjoyed the story of Sara woven through the book at the end of each chapter. Also, towards the end the suggestions for how to deal with the different areas in someone's life that BPD effects seem really helpful. Not just for the person with BPD either, but also the people who love them. Understanding behaviors is hard enough, but sometimes dealing with them for everyone involved can be a real challenge. For those caught up in the push-pull cycle drawing the line diagram chart so the person with BPD can assessment how they are feeling about the closeness/distance in the relationship sounds great. I think in the future if I use this system with my friend she will be abke to voice when she might be needing a break instead of just pushing me away so we can part amicably for a few weeks whole still keeping communication open. All of the suggestions seem really helpful and I cannot wait to try them! Great book and I would highly recommend it!

[Maggie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A heavy emphasis on the link between sexual abuse and Borderline which isn't currently a key concept. This book was originally written in 1996 and the second edition in 2000 which leads me to suspect that the theories are a little out of date. Other than that it was a very easy read, but not a book I will bother with again. There are much better books out there eg "Overcoming Borderline personality Disorder" by Valerie Porr, "Out of the Fog" by Gary Walters, "The essential family guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: the new tools and techniques to stop walking on eggshells" by Randi Kreger, and "Stop walking on eggshells"by Paul T Mason.

[Dawnene · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh....nothing new here and the case study of the patient "Sara" was absurd and very un-BPD IMHO
The woman disappears 12 hours on her way to work or home and drives 200 miles with absolutely no recollection of the events - come on now....this book was another far fetched extreme portrayal of the crazy b*tch label that so often gets slapped on people diagnosed with BPD - another irritant was the proclamation by the author that if you have BPD you can pretty much count on multiple involuntary psych hospitalizations - nope - wrong

[Kristine (fezabel) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book after being 'officially' diagnosed with BPD. I found it extremely easy to read with short chapters and good examples of real people. I didn't like the rather simplistic approach to medications and treatment options and the assumption that recovery without a professional is impossible. I think a bit more about how to help oneself in recovery would have been very nice.

I recommend it for Borderlines as well as significant others and loved ones of Borderlines.

[Shannon Hedges · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of women in our sample of depressed mothers also received a BPD diagnosis, which made me really interested in this disorder. Dr. Moskovitz has written a very compassionate and well-researched book concerning the suffering experienced by borderlines. "Am I My Patient's Keeper" was a particularly good chapter.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started thumbing through this book one night at work when
i was bored and ended up reading the whole thing! It sucks you in because throughout the book is woven in a real-life story about a woman who has borderline personality disorder that is both tragic and insightful.

[Ruby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a great help to me because it provided a reference point for what borderline personality disorder looks like in its full-blown state.

[Michelle Pellin · Rating 4 out of 5]

If u work or live with this disorder, it will help u understand better how to deal with it. Borderline is definitely one of the most challenging disorders in our society.

[Jenn Storer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very eye opening. Not all of it applied to me as I only have 5 of the 9 criteria, but it provided a good beginners look into BPD.

[Roo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite being updated in 2001, it didn't seem super outdated. A pretty easy read, but helpful.

[Molli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good overview of Borderline Personality Disorder as a whole, from criteria for diagnosis to support for friends and family. I'd certainly reccommend it to anyone trying to understand the disorder. At the same time, it's written specifically to the Borderline patient and, while it doesn't exclude others from reading it, I think it reads better with a little first hand experience. Also, one unfortunate aspect of Narcissistic disorders is that the subject is the least likely to recognize that anything is wrong (much less read a book about it), but I wouldn't really fault the book for noble intentions.

As the offspring of an NPD/BPD, I found the first several chapters (Diagnosis criteria, case studies, etc.) to be a little difficult to get through, but difficult in that it hit the nail on the head, so to speak. It's written in pretty accessible language, and I found much of the advice on healing and treatments could be employed by family and friends (though there is a chapter devoted to friends and family as well).

[Shelly Nixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good look at BPD, although towards the end it became obvious that the book was being written with the assumption that all BPD sufferers WOULD be in extensive therapy and therefore certain outcomes WOULD be attained. Well. if only. Does gloss over the 'outcomes/cure' in a breazy 2 page chapter that unsurprisingly doesn't address the issue at all. box of tissues at the ready for the whole book really. Good for family/friends to read (I think?) although I found quite a lot of psychoanalytic jargon used and as that is my background I'm not sure those without that background would have the same understanding. (??)

[Danielle Lam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book although I felt like this was definitely geared more towards the newly diagnosed who were starting out at ground zero in terms of learning about the disorder. I really liked how the author had a section on naming and describing certain medication that can help reduce symptoms, as well as a section on how important good diet and exercise were, including the suggestion to abstain from alcohol/drugs.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder you may find this useful. I should note that I am highly skeptical of a diagnosis of BPD who is not at least in their mid to late 20's

[Bene Gesserit · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok, but I found borderline personality disorder demystified to actually be more informative. This was a bit more dramatic than many BPD folks I know. Had some good info, but more of a story in many ways than anything.

[Briggs Alsbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent peek into the world of BPD! As a clinician, I found the language really helpful in understanding how to engage in healthy dialogue with my BPD clients, and understanding triggers further. Super reader friendly, and a quick read too!

[Viktória Kovacs · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars. Very short, very dense and sometimes a bit too simplistic around specific topics. I can recommend it to someone who knows someone with BPD but I wouldn’t recommend it to someone who has recently been diagnosed and is looking for a treatment and recovery guide.

[Courtney McDonald · Rating 2 out of 5]

just ok, but needing more on habits of bpd like binging and other extremes of condition

it was just ok, but needing more on habits of bpd like binging and other extremes of condition. thanks though.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say, this book is one of the best 'self-help' books out there.

[Omid · Rating 4 out of 5]

مترجمين محترم لطفاً اين کتاب رو مطالعه کنند ، به نظر من برای ترجمه خيلی عاليه و هنوز به فارسی ترجمه نشده

[Joanna Bedggood]

the more I learn, the more I wish I knew!

[Darby · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author seems to be a little too immersed in Freudian perspectives, but a decent overview with interesting vignettes.

[Kammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book. So many ear tags on it I just have to laugh!