The Joy Thief: How OCD steals your happiness – and how to get it back

by Penny Moodie

A personal and practical guide to navigating the complex world of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

When Penny Moodie hears people say that they're 'a bit OCD' about cleaning or tidying, she can't help but feel frustrated. It took her twenty-three years to be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder – a debilitating mental health condition involving intrusive thoughts and accompanying physical or mental compulsions – and the stigma and misunderstanding around OCD means this kind of delay is all too common.

Weaving her personal experience with the stories of other OCD sufferers, as well as the expertise of some of the world's leading OCD doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists, Penny explores OCD's symptoms, stigmas and treatments with raw honesty and zero judgement. From childhood OCD, shame and medication to perinatal mental illness, relationship OCD and group therapy, this book provides an expansive and very personal insight into the complexities of the condition – and the life-changing impact that best-practice treatment can have.

An invaluable resource for those suffering from OCD, as well as for their families and loved ones, The Joy Thief shines some much-needed light and hope on a disorder that is too often minimised and misunderstood.

'Generous, intimate and mind-opening. This book helps those living with OCD feel understood, and helps those who don't to understand. Rarely does a book absorb readers in such intimate, challenging subject matter, only to leave them feeling truly hopeful at its close.' Jamila Rizvi

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Psychology

280 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Penny, I hope you see this review. I wanted to thank you for publishing your new book. My husband bought it for me at our local bookshop after I shared my 9-year struggle with OCD. I am halfway through your book, and I just wanted to share with you that your book has helped me a lot. It makes me feel less alone. My OCD ebbs and flows, and, at the moment, it is debilitating. Your book has felt like therapy for me during this period. I still fear finding a psychologist who specialises in ERP and sharing my intrusive thoughts with them, but your book has brought me closer to building the strength to do so. Again, I can't thank you enough for your advocacy.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

ocd hard launch?? 🤪

i chose to read this book because it was recently published (2023), had a mix between concrete facts/information and personal stories, and seemed like it was written in a conversational tone.

this book made me feel so much less alone. yes, ocd is really difficult and exhausting and tiring and scary and unfair and embarassing, and has pretty seriously impacted my life in a lot of different ways, and also! it is not my fault, it is not just me, i am not a bad person because of it. i already knew these things, theoretically, but they only sometimes feel true, and it was helpful to read them with my actual eyes in an actual book. i cried a lot.

if you don’t have ocd, but someone in your life does or you just want to learn more about it, i think this book (or tbh anything else from a reputable source you read about ocd) might teach you a lot. tldr: whatever you think you know about ocd might be false and/or incomplete, because there are so many popular misconceptions and stereotypes about it. also whatever you think ocd is or is like to life with, it is probably worse and more difficult than whatever you are imagining, for a lot of the same reasons. not to be so bleak, but it Really Sucks. there was also a lot of information for how to help support people in your life who do, or might, have ocd.

despite the literal horrors, this book kept it real (no sugarcoating) but was also overall hopeful, encouraging, and even funny at times. i think this book will help a lot of people and change lives - i actually know that it has, because i read the reviews on it before i read it myself :)

[Jess Wong · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars - this book was compassionate, honest and informative. I learnt a lot from the content and the personal stories woven throughout. Made me reflect more on my own ?future role in mental health care system and the importance of empathy and warmth from health professionals when people are brave enough to seek help. Would highly recommend if you yourself or a loved one have OCD, or if you want to understand it more!

[Laura H · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful blend of personal experiences and evidence based research about OCD. The author’s tone is incredibly honest, empathetic and warm.

[Daisy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never felt so seen lol. Such a digestible but educational read

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am almost certain this book will save a life.

This honest, relatable book is a wonderful mix of clinical information and real life examples, almost a layman’s guide to OCD.

As someone who has received treatment for an eating disorder I found this book validating in its kind approach to mental illness as a whole and feel it’s an excellent read for everyone.

We will all know someone with a mental illness, it can’t hurt to improve our knowledge! Well done Penny.

[astrid bee]

this isn’t the first book i have read on ocd but it is by far the most comprehensive, and felt deeply personal with several different people’s lived experience woven throughout it. couldn’t recommend reading it more

[Lysh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Physical. Naz and Cookie book club. 5 stars. A brilliant exploration of OCD and how to support those living with it. The balance of personal with professional information was perfect.

2024 TBR Challenge

[Molly Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. Never underestimate the life saving power sharing vulnerability. I wish I could go back in time and give this to my teenage self to read. It would make up for so many hours lost to my brain. Thankyou Penny 🩷

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative if you’re learning about OCD. Very validating if you’re experiencing OCD.

[Ciara Collister · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely validating for me, I have been misdiagnosed for years and finally after almost 2 decades of symptoms was diagnosed with OCD. I'd reccomend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about OCD

[Lotus Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first got recommended this book by my therapist, I thought I was getting roped into reading some surface-level, self-help drivel, but it’s hard to say just how important this book has been.
With its personal anecdotes, notes from professionals, humour, and honesty, this book has been insightful, comforting, and confronting.
I wish that I could’ve read this book when I was 10 years younger but I feel grateful and better off having been able to read it at all

[Ben]

I found this book validating for a few reasons. First, because many of its personal case studies were of people who live with OCD sufferers, not of the OCD sufferers themselves. I've found zero literature about this lived experience, and it was deeply reassuring to hear that all kinds of people in all kinds of OCD-sufferer relationships have had similar experiences. OCD is an incredibly difficult disease. I've lived with, and been around for prolonged periods of time, many kinds of mental illness, from profound drug addiction (the no-teeth-left-before-25 kind) to PTSD-induced schizophrenia, and OCD absolutely ranks among the most extreme and difficult of these. The really terrible thing about it, which distinguishes it even from some intensities of schizophrenia, is the complete inability when it's really bad to tell reality apart from hallucinations. There are many different kinds of OCD, but in many kinds, a phenomenon called thought-action fusion renders OCD-sufferers incapable of differentiating thoughts from things happening outside their minds, out there in the world. They might have a thought about themselves, a completely random and unbelievable thought that most of us would immediately dismiss as insane and absurd, and instead of dismissing it as insane and absurd they'll experience that thought as the revelation of a long-suppressed fact about their innermost and fundamental self. For example, they might accidentally see a male dog with a boner while out in public, innocently have that thought appear unbidden in their mind a few hours or days later, as thoughts are wont to do, and thereafter become convinced that they're secretly--secretly even to themselves!--someone who wants to fuck dogs, a filthy zoophile. And they'll believe that lie with such insane conviction that they'll tie themselves in knots trying to reassure themselves beyond all reasonable doubt that it's not true. And they'll do to same to their loved ones. How do you disprove something that was never real? It's such a difficult conundrum. This book was such a revelation to me because it showed me how other carers experience OCD closely, from the outside. I was so relieved to hear that it really is exhausting, debilitating, even traumatic for those who care for it, not merely for those who have it. Someone else close to me had schizophrenia, but her hallucinations didn't scar her psyche with radical, destabilising doubt. Once her hallucinations left her and she came back to reality, she was sad and apologetic, but she wasn't left with lingering questions about the reality or unreality of what she'd just gone through. But OCD frequently isn't like that. Its attacks leave a sticky residue that clings, even if only so very slightly, when the person with OCD is happy, clear-eyed, and sane. Sure, it doesn't force people onto the street to mutter incomprehensibly about mad deadly worldwide communist gangster computer gods on the dark side of the moon, but it can be even more insidious because its insanities (except in the case of magical thinking OCD) are at least possible, if improbable. And so they burrow like a worm into the sufferer's brainstem, syphoning blood that would normally sustain good loving and laughing and smiling and instead redirecting that life energy into obsessive-compulsive behaviours like confessing everything bad they've ever done over and over and over again, or seeking reassurance over and over and over again from anyone close who'll listen that they're not an evil pervert destined for an eternity in hell, or torturing themselves by holding their piss until their bladders burst as punishment for having a quasi-racist thought, or tapping their mouths in a certain way and place after every mouthful of food so that they don't choke, and being unable to swallow a single mouthful unless this ritual is pulled off perfectly, and thus eventually plain refusing to eat. OCD is so much more extreme, debilitating, and stubborn than it is portrayed as being in popular media. This book is great for sufferers and carers alike because its real-life stories make it incontrovertibly true to all who read it that, yes, it really is that hard and, yes, it really can be that outrageously insane. For people trapped in their little suffer bubbles, this can be an enormous relief. I wish there were more case studies of people living with people who live with OCD, but for the moment, this is good enough. Highly recommended.

[Rachel Nielsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not the book I was hoping for. For someone who has just been diagnosed with OCD or suspects they may have it, I think this book would be incredibly helpful and informative. Because of the incorrect and stereotyped view of OCD, along with the confusion, fear, and shame it can actually inflict, getting a diagnosis can be very difficult- on average, it takes 17 years. This book explains what OCD is actually like very well, both through research and personal stories, which I appreciated most. It also explains what getting treatment looks like and how it helps. And it offers a great deal of hope, which is so needed.

I was looking for something that was more about how you adjust to your new life and new self once you’ve begun to get a handle on your OCD, but that was covered in only one very short chapter. So while I thought this was a good and worthwhile book, it didn’t really satisfy what I was looking for.

[Emily Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A useful read for anyone with OCD or anyone who loves someone with OCD. I particularly liked the bits about people with OCD having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for keeping people safe and caring very deeply about other people or having a very creative brain and how this can lead to OCD. I also liked that the author emphasised how the ‘actual content of the obsessions isn’t important’, but still covered a variety of obsessions including more stigmatised/taboo forms of OCD. The author is Australian so the information about the medical system was based on the Australian healthcare system but parts were still relevant.

[Laura Burne · Rating 5 out of 5]

my goodreads ocd debut 👑

[Olivia Gerow · Rating 5 out of 5]

incredibly eye opening!

[Jessica Tay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moodie really really encapsulates and describes the experience of living with OCD so well, I think this may be the best one I’ve ever read so far. Highly recommended for all co-sufferers of OCD, as well as loved ones who would like to better understand how OCD minds think

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

so well written and hugely encouraging. made me feel seen and so much less alone

[Morgan Menzel · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fellow sufferer of OCD, this book has helped me in more ways than one. Penny's raw, incredibly detailed and honest account of the experiences she has had since a young age has not only shown me how OCD can affect people in different ways, but has also assured me that I'm not alone in the journey I'm currently on, and with help, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Sophiealka · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written memoir/guidebook for OCD that blends sincere personal experience and narrative with evidence-based information on treatment and support resources. This would be a great book for both those with OCD and professionals alike to read. I loved that it was specific to Australia and recommended locally relevant resources.
Some of the author's references to pop culture will be peculiarly relatable for Millennials and Gen X. Younger Gen Z readers may struggle to relate to these.
Quality of the resources and information was great but the book still managed to be down-to-earth, funny, touching, and highly readable.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book I could not put down - incredibly well written. This book was rifled with research and information, I could not stop sharing the information I learnt with my friends - to the point they asked if I was reading a textbook. Yet, it couldn't have felt further from that - the way anecdotes were intertwined with information, as well as the stories of sufferers other than the author, made for a magnificent read.

[Marth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely great for anyone struggling or thinking to struggle with OCD.

Her lines made me laugh out loud, recognise OCD better and also cry. This book is so complete: it takes ocd serious but not in a sad way, it is actually at times really funny, while it never ever moves away from the subject. It is a difficult skill to write about your own experience in a helpful way, and Penny absolutely mastered it.

It includes — and this is such a strength — experiences with OCD from different people. This way you get to understand the different faces of OCD really well.

It also gives many examples of tools and ways to help. Many of those tools come from professionals.

The chapters seem for me to cover all: the different types of OCD, different questions you might have about recovery, perspectives of sufferers, perspectives of therapists, and perspectives of people close to the sufferers.

Well done Penny, really helpful book

[Renu · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have OCD, read it. If someone you love has OCD, read it. If you want to learn more about OCD, read it. Those without OCD don’t often realise how debilitating and pervasive it can be. How alone it inevitably makes you feel. This book gives you that insight. Penny strikes a good balance of drawing on her own experiences, those of others, and the perspectives of professionals equipped to tackle the insufferable thing that is OCD. Hugh’s insights at the end were also a lovely way to tie everything together. You can find your person (or people), outside of professionals, who will stick around and support you. Who won’t abandon you or withdraw from you because they don’t get it, or because it/you are too much for them. It wasn’t an easy read by any means (looking at you Chapter 9), but it was an important read.

[Caitlin Doberer · Rating 4 out of 5]

in order of OCD awareness week, I thought it was about time I read a book detailing what it is like to have OCD, treatments, therapy and allllll the things that come with a mental health diagnosis.

I personally am quite far down the road on my journey with OCD, but I recommend this book anyway. It’s a good refresher of information and gentle reminder that you’re not alone, or, a helpful resource if your journey is just beginning. Also recommend for anyone wanting to learn more about OCD or support a loved one with it.

Always happy to talk more about OCD and my experience, and/or support others going through it themselves or wanting to support others 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[Cath · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you know and / or love a person with OCD you need to read this book. Penny is incredibly honest and vulnerable in the writing of this book, and describes the pain and crippling distress of OCD, so much of OCD is unseen, it’s not washing your hands a hundred times it is so much more complex and at times debilitating. It is under diagnosed and many people suffer for yours due to shame and stigma. Thank you Penny for sharing your story, you will never know how many people you have touched with this.

[Hayden Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having struggled with OCD most of my life, this book spoke to me like no other. There is a great combination of experiences shared by Penny herself as well as others she’s interviewed. As a complicated mental health disorder, Penny found a way to delve into OCD’s depths without turning it into a scientific journal suited to only academics. For anyone who struggles with OCD or knows someone who does, I would highly recommend reading this book. It’ll open your eyes to the silent monster that is more than just checking you’ve locked the house or turned your stove off.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enlightening and helpful read, I resonated with much of this.

Exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), put yourself into situations where you feel your compulsions and resist them.
Create a loop tape of you saying outloud your fears, and listen to it often throughout the day.
Need to stop avoiding the fear, as this makes the fear seem bigger.

"ERP comprises two parts: exposure, which involves facing the thoughts, images, objects or situations that activate your obsessions; and response prevention, which is choosing not to carry out the compulsion you perfoem when triggered."

[Keryn Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy to read, informative and positive. The layout was great and the expert options and personal stories interspersed with Penny's own journey flowed well. I would have been interested in a bit more of the biology and also some of the links and overlaps with other mental health diagnoses. The chapter on ERP was useful although I would have like a bit more detail and examples. Overall, a good book for people who have OCD, wonder if they have OCD and for families and friends of people with OCD.

[Elly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just wow. Whether you have experience with OCD or not, this book is a wonderful read. It is a brave, raw, and beautifully written account of life with OCD. This book brings understanding and advocacy for those with OCD, without a shred of patronising language or tone. Like advice and support from the kindest friend.