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Call Me Lesbian: Lesbian Lives, Lesbian Theory
Book by Penelope, Julia
155 pages, Library Binding
First published January 1, 1992
2 people are currently reading
353 people want to read
About the author
Julia Penelope
15 books14 followersJulia Penelope was a lesbian feminist author, linguist, and philosopher.
Early in her publishing career she used the name Julia Penelope Stanley.
Early in her publishing career she used the name Julia Penelope Stanley.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 10, 2013
Julia Penelope, you were such a great thinker, I'm sorry I only heard about you after you died, and only read this book now. There is some really amazing feminism here, stuff that I feel like you won't find under one roof anyplace else. She's very scornful of breeding, but I just love her and everything else about this book.
December 30, 2021
As a baby to performing queer readings, this book was incredibly helpful in crafting a framework for a paper. The first few chapters are great if you're also unfamiliar and want some handy definitions and history.
“Because Lesbians are ignored in most histories, including histories of sexuality, at some point we have to explain how we identify those we include as members of the category ‘Lesbian’— not, however, in order to placate skeptical critics, but to please ourselves. Determining Lesbian identity is a task of historical proportions. Unlike other sorts of identity, Lesbians possess no readily apparent identifying characteristics of space or time, nor can we look to origins or particular circumstances. Someone born in Thailand, Norway, or Ghana can claim that national identity as a birthright unless she surrenders or is exiled. Someone born in 600 BCE, 1848 or 1956 C.E. “belongs” to that time period, whether she embraced or rejected its customs and values. Consequently, Lesbian history is a hidden history, a submerged history, lived between the lines of one’s time and country.” (22)
“Because Lesbians are ignored in most histories, including histories of sexuality, at some point we have to explain how we identify those we include as members of the category ‘Lesbian’— not, however, in order to placate skeptical critics, but to please ourselves. Determining Lesbian identity is a task of historical proportions. Unlike other sorts of identity, Lesbians possess no readily apparent identifying characteristics of space or time, nor can we look to origins or particular circumstances. Someone born in Thailand, Norway, or Ghana can claim that national identity as a birthright unless she surrenders or is exiled. Someone born in 600 BCE, 1848 or 1956 C.E. “belongs” to that time period, whether she embraced or rejected its customs and values. Consequently, Lesbian history is a hidden history, a submerged history, lived between the lines of one’s time and country.” (22)
September 10, 2018
I enjoy reading older Lesbian theory, but to feel a connection to the not so distant past, but to argue with the writers in my mind. It helps me clarify what is most important to me. I believe that this book is interesting and full of meaningful gems, mostly when Julia is speaking about her own life, and struggles though it. The later chapters that discuss the reclaiming of the 'erotic' and about S/M are laughable in how little she seems to understand, or want to understand something she does not like. Even within her text she admits to not wanting to read or learn about the topics she spends pages discussing and shaming. For anyone wanting to see what exactly inspired the "pro-sex" third wave feminist activists look no further than this book!
January 13, 2025
Julia is a wonderful thinker and author. I appreciate that she is self aware in the fact that anyone saying they don’t agree with s&m will be met with labels; people calling them anti-sex, a prude, conservative, etc. And to be honest, I was turned off by this book at first glance because I assumed she was these things.
She’s smart, she knows what will happen when she shares her opinion on sexual power imbalances. And with that, I love that Julia says she actually encourages opposing discussions in lesbian spaces because without them, we will become stagnant. We will cease to change and grow as people. We will fail to adapt to time periods and social cultures.
So, even if you disagree with Julia I recommend reading this book for not only lesbian history and gaining that information but also to challenge your mind and your own opinions. Reading Julia’s writing strengthen some of my opposing opinions but also opened a new perspective for me. To me, that’s good writing.
I agree at times, and a half agree during others. For example, do I, like Julia, think the labels butch and femme tie us back to the heterosexual patriarchy? No. Because heterosexual people do not have a grasp on understanding these labels or any history of them. Nor do I think they find community in them through lived experiences or media. And on top of that, I don’t think any heterosexual will ever be connected to butch and femme labels in any substantial or significant way. No matter how hard one might try to insert themselves into that understanding and history.
Do I think defining lesbian femininity and masculinity by the definitions established in a heterosexual, patriarchal world hurts us? Yes absolutely. And I appreciate that she suggests our language needs to change before deciding who is femme and who is butch, and that a language change moving away from heterosexuality language could empower the lesbian community and unite us in a way that finally allows lesbians and women to exist outside of being “not a man.” And instead, as lesbians. Humans. Not people who aren’t men but just people. Because our existence doesn’t happen as an absence of manhood or as the “other” option to a man. We are not required to not be men just to exist as women, humans, or lesbians. We exist without them and separate.
As for the topic of s&m, I find myself finding kernels of truth even in moments of disagreements between Julia and I. For example, while I dont agree that all s&m comes from unresolved childhood trauma, I agree that a huge amount of it for lesbians, does. Do I think s&m can be empowering for some lesbians? Yes. Do I think s&m inherently empowers lesbians and woman? No not at all. This is because like Julia states, the porn industry at its default, exploits women and children. It thrives on power imbalances. It takes a huge personal step for one who is not a man to have sexual power imbalances that are safe, consensual, and genuinely physically and mentally healing instead of numbing. So while one could oppose s&m or practice it, both views have to ask themselves these questions, spawned by Julia’s research and discourse;
Can s&m be empowering to lesbians when men can live their s&m fantasies, or power imbalance fantasies EASILY online, and in the real world so much so that they can partake in these sexual power imbalances with or without consent and face almost zero repercussions. And even, have their actions be protected through either their class, the justice system and its long, invasive, and doubtful process, or both. If men can easily be born with the same power they use for sexual fantasies, can a lesbian feel empowered from having control in the bedroom or relinquishing control despite knowing they can never have that power from birth? Is playing with the idea of being born powerful or born with the benefit of the doubt beneficial to living a reality without it? Can lesbian erotica be in good taste and empower lesbian sexuality even if the origins of erotica are for male engagement, and easy male access? Can sex workers truly be liberated in a society that still chooses which sex workers are high class and which are “just” prostitution? And if yes, shouldn’t these spheres of lesbian sex, specifically s&m and erotica, be described with lesbian founded language as to separate oneself from the heterosexual stigma of female sexuality? And if no, when can lesbians claim power or relinquish it without being consumed by the reality of never having it or having it taken so often?
She’s smart, she knows what will happen when she shares her opinion on sexual power imbalances. And with that, I love that Julia says she actually encourages opposing discussions in lesbian spaces because without them, we will become stagnant. We will cease to change and grow as people. We will fail to adapt to time periods and social cultures.
So, even if you disagree with Julia I recommend reading this book for not only lesbian history and gaining that information but also to challenge your mind and your own opinions. Reading Julia’s writing strengthen some of my opposing opinions but also opened a new perspective for me. To me, that’s good writing.
I agree at times, and a half agree during others. For example, do I, like Julia, think the labels butch and femme tie us back to the heterosexual patriarchy? No. Because heterosexual people do not have a grasp on understanding these labels or any history of them. Nor do I think they find community in them through lived experiences or media. And on top of that, I don’t think any heterosexual will ever be connected to butch and femme labels in any substantial or significant way. No matter how hard one might try to insert themselves into that understanding and history.
Do I think defining lesbian femininity and masculinity by the definitions established in a heterosexual, patriarchal world hurts us? Yes absolutely. And I appreciate that she suggests our language needs to change before deciding who is femme and who is butch, and that a language change moving away from heterosexuality language could empower the lesbian community and unite us in a way that finally allows lesbians and women to exist outside of being “not a man.” And instead, as lesbians. Humans. Not people who aren’t men but just people. Because our existence doesn’t happen as an absence of manhood or as the “other” option to a man. We are not required to not be men just to exist as women, humans, or lesbians. We exist without them and separate.
As for the topic of s&m, I find myself finding kernels of truth even in moments of disagreements between Julia and I. For example, while I dont agree that all s&m comes from unresolved childhood trauma, I agree that a huge amount of it for lesbians, does. Do I think s&m can be empowering for some lesbians? Yes. Do I think s&m inherently empowers lesbians and woman? No not at all. This is because like Julia states, the porn industry at its default, exploits women and children. It thrives on power imbalances. It takes a huge personal step for one who is not a man to have sexual power imbalances that are safe, consensual, and genuinely physically and mentally healing instead of numbing. So while one could oppose s&m or practice it, both views have to ask themselves these questions, spawned by Julia’s research and discourse;
Can s&m be empowering to lesbians when men can live their s&m fantasies, or power imbalance fantasies EASILY online, and in the real world so much so that they can partake in these sexual power imbalances with or without consent and face almost zero repercussions. And even, have their actions be protected through either their class, the justice system and its long, invasive, and doubtful process, or both. If men can easily be born with the same power they use for sexual fantasies, can a lesbian feel empowered from having control in the bedroom or relinquishing control despite knowing they can never have that power from birth? Is playing with the idea of being born powerful or born with the benefit of the doubt beneficial to living a reality without it? Can lesbian erotica be in good taste and empower lesbian sexuality even if the origins of erotica are for male engagement, and easy male access? Can sex workers truly be liberated in a society that still chooses which sex workers are high class and which are “just” prostitution? And if yes, shouldn’t these spheres of lesbian sex, specifically s&m and erotica, be described with lesbian founded language as to separate oneself from the heterosexual stigma of female sexuality? And if no, when can lesbians claim power or relinquish it without being consumed by the reality of never having it or having it taken so often?
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews