This Book Does Not Exist by Mike Schneider

This Book Does Not Exist #1

by Mike Schneider

Based in part on a true When the love of his life vanishes in the midst of a trying but passionate long distance relationship, an aspiring writer must brave the perils of a surreal world that has been warped by his own memories and imagination in order to find her. Combining memoir, science fiction, mystery, and suspense into a love story that explores the evolving nature of relationships in an increasingly digital world, "This Book Does Not Exist" is an imaginative, page-turning novel. Musicians record breakup albums… Consider this a breakup novel, written for anyone who has ever loved and lost.

Genres: Fiction, Novels

Paperback

First published August 16, 2010

Reviews

[Lucy Furr · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh. I really wanted to like this book, but no matter what happened, it just couldn't hook me in. I don't have anything against the author's writing style, he's not a bad writer, I think it was just a case of poor execution. I'm also certain that my dislike of the book had to do with misconceived notions about what the book was going to be like. When I came across it on Amazon the "People who purchased this book also purchased..." section included House of Leaves and John Dies at the End, two of my favorite books, and that lead me to believe that the style of This Book Does Not Exist would be similar. It is not.

I rarely stop reading a book simply because I don't quite like it and I've read through worse books, so I didn't feel like I should give up on this one, but man oh man it just didn't do it for me. Not once (unless I really missed it) was it the higher purpose of The Door explained. I can suspend my disbelief only so far when I have absolutely no clue as to why anyone in another world would want to try to "help" couples that are falling in and out of love in this world. What's the point? How does it benefit the other world? Whose idea was it to start the helping process in the first place? All these questions left unanswered (plus many more), which left me with a bland taste in my mouth and a wish that I had picked up another book instead.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This is a different take on relationships gone bad. I enjoyed this easy read and really liked how Schneider used Mike's memories as the base of each encounter. The "Red Door" was an interesting way to turn this romance novel into a pseudo piece of science fiction.

As the book progresses and we go through each of the different scenarios, the ending became quite obvious to me. The thing that I liked most about this book is that it never came across as being whiny or pathetic, while the same time it demonstrated how relationships can devastate one.

This is a fast read and worth a look at if you are up for a relationship novel with a sci-fi twist.

[Rodney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is so much more than what I expected. An original and engaging story wrapped around the dynamic of love lost and an attempt to bring it back.

[Yalonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tricky to review this one. Overall, I was struck by the originality of the story and the social media touchstones (e.g. Kayak and FB) that let the novel intersect with the "real" world. There were elements that grew tiresome --a major one was the girlfriend, but I digress lol--but ultimately, this was a story that I wanted to finish. And even though I positively *hate* the cover and am not terribly crazy about the title either, almost 2 years after reading the story, I still think about it sometimes. In fact, I'm writing this review because I just referenced TBDNE in a frustrated indie author's discussion thread over on Amazon. I may even reread it. But back to the book: I also appreciate the use of music -- Here, My Dear by Marvin Gaye is a prime example--to link Mike's world (the protagonist) to my world.

This book is imperfect, as most human-made stuff is, but it is engaging, original, and makes me look forward to reading more of Schneider's work once he's gotten more backing/support ($$$) and his gift for storytelling has gained even more seasoning. As an indie singer & songwriter with one album released and another in the oven, I give Mike Schneider's book a hearty thumbs-up and (also) raise my fist in solidarity. I believe time will allow him to continually develop his craft and I earnestly hope that the hard-knock indie life doesn't quench his spirit. All in all, I dug it.

Geek Addendum: Schneider really makes the most of the *media* elements of reading. To complement the book, there's a Spotify playlist featuring songs from the story (Dude, I KNOW!): http://open.spotify.com/user/onemikey...

The music taste alone is worthy of a writer-crush. Please support this cat and tell him that you dig his work. It's hard out here...

Social Media Links:
Follow the author on Twitter: @onemikey
Here's the TBDNE Tumblr: http://thisbookdoesnotexist.tumblr.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/TBDNE (w/ images from the book as well)

[Ian · Rating 2 out of 5]

TBDNE is a surprisingly realistic account of what it feels like to be sucked into someone else's belly button.

But that's just the terribly after taste. It actually started out fairly good. The premise: man has a long-distance relationship with a woman who then suddenly vanishes. This easily leads into all kinds of existential questioning about what it means when relationships are given form only through texting and facebook. That's great, I get that part. But then it continues...

So, our protagonist keeps getting sucked though this magic door into a world where all his emotions and memories take form and basically try to kill him, all the while he mopes about for this girl. Right now, I'm not even sure why she was important. She seemed like a pretty cold person anyways. Lets move on, eh? Oh, but then we get to the best part, trying to close this magic door is a metaphor for closing the door on their relationship and letting her go. It's symbolism, GET IT?? *groan*...

It's about at that point when you realize that the author is rather emotionally invested in this story, and it's not hard to find out that it was written post-breakup. That lack of emotional distance means that more often than not, the really important parts are left unexplained, and it spirals into this pool of navel gazing from which there is no escape. It wants to be a surreal Twilight Zone experience (minus the ironic punishments), but it ends up feeling like that poetry you wrote when you were a really angsty teen. It made all the sense at the time, but doesn't seem nearly as meaningful years later.

[Mel B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

The semi-autobiographical story of a man living through a breakup and a break with reality.

This was a chore to finish. I got about halfway through, was annoyed by the constant references to The Door (in bold).

There's no explanation of why the door exists, why it's so horrible, or why people falling in and out of love would mysteriously walk through it.

I think the most annoying part, besides The Door (in bold, bleh), was the overuse of Facebook and Twitter references. Hey, this book is with it, this is now.

All I could think is this book will be dated in a few years when people have moved on.

I couldn't really care about the protagonist and his separation from his girlfriend. It became apparent pretty early on that they weren't meant to be together.

Interesting idea, could've been executed better. Better explored as a descent into madness than a physical reality and an alternate plane.

[Anis Proudman · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing itself is fine but the story and content are just plain, needless descriptions of the most mundane people and places with far too much emphasis put on things that the writer obviously cares a great deal for but fails to give the reader a reason to care for.

The main character is so unimaginative and boring it's painful to read some times it makes it difficult to empathize with him at all.

There are some interesting ideas in the book, but the unimaginative characters make nothing of it and seem to take an age to reach emotional conclusions that they probably should have started out with in the first place making the whole feel of the book sort of like watching paint dry on psychedelic mural.

[Bettielee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just couldn't get into this. It took me 8 days to read. That is a crazy long time for me to finish a book. I didn't understand the characters reaction to things. I kept wondering why he was doing what he was doing. There was a lot of obvious manipulation going on by other characters (don't want to give away too much.) It reads like a blockbuster - all action and the "introspective" parts, which slow down the book and just sort of ramble, seem forced. The troublesome characters are there just to be troublesome. Most of what this guy was supposed to be figuring out was pretty obvious. I think I could have gone through his experiences in half the time.

[Kerri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm honestly not sure how this book ended up on my Kindle. I must have downloaded it because it was free or something, because it's not the type of thing I'd buy. But I read it, and quickly, because it did keep my interest. That said, the ending was a bit of a fizzle. And there are aspects that are quite gimmicky. And the narrative was missing... something. Had a tone like a Choose Your Own Adventure book... but in first person... and where you not only can't choose, but the guy doing the choosing isn't making any of the choices you want.

[Emily Barnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea for the book is interesting. I was very intersted in the beginning of the novel and really thought it was headed in a totally different direction. There were parts for me that were dragging a bit and the dependency on the social media became a bit annoying at points. The main character was well developed, but I felt a bit let down in the end after the struggle that took place during "The Door" experience. Overall unique idea for a story and worth recommending to someone to read.

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't believe how good this book was! I was expecting a restrained, subdued Alt Lit piece that withheld meaning or explanation. Instead, what I got was an understated masterpiece that gets to the root of the problem with modern day relationships. The Door is just an excuse for the author to get down to business opining and exploring why we choose the people who fill our lives.

[Naomi]

DNF... it just didn’t hold my interest.

[Ava McDonough · Rating 2 out of 5]

An insight into the male perspective of love and codependency, but not the best book I’ve ever read

[Matt Guion · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is definitely one of the stranger books I've ever read, I'll say that. It's got an interesting enough premise. Mike (the author, telling his own alleged story) after having been a long-distance relationship with Naomi for some time, finds that she's gone missing, and gets help from a mysterious man named Geppetto, who leads him to THE DOOR--a doorway to another world, which shapes itself to Mike's own situation. Okay, I can get next to that, and the book has some moments that are definitely very thinky, and that blur the lines between fantasy and reality, especially with the use of twitter, YouTube, and so on.

Still, for a book that started out with such a thinky idea, it turned pretty conventional pretty fast. In the end, it didn't end up being exactly what I was expecting, but I certainly can't fault it for that. It still told a decent story, one that pulled me in and kept me engaged until the very end. And there was enough interesting about it that I know it had the potential to be much better than it was with a little more focus. The plot kind of devolved into a video game scenario at the end, and it seemed like a lot of the promise in the earlier part of the novel wasn't really delivered.

Overall, I'm glad I read it, and it was worth getting lost in for a few hours, but that's really about it. It's an engaging story, and it definitely captures the emotion of a long distance relationship very well. (Having just ended the "long-distance" portion of my relationship a few months ago, that aspect of the novel really resonated with me.) But I feel like the story really loses its way in the last third or so. Like, I don't feel as thoughblowing up THE DOOR with a bomb was really the most intelligent climax this story could have had. Not a bad story, but nothing life altering. If you read it, you'll probably get some enjoyment out of it.

Worth Rating: Worth Borrowing

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is what happens when you mix equal parts 500 Days of Summer and House of Leaves, but fail to capitalize on the emotional/relational turmoil and supernatural mystery that made those two works of art so poignant.

I really liked this novel's beginning. Mike's initial sense of unexplained panic and the backstory that brought him to the current point is intriguing enough to settle the reader in. Futhermore, his random meetings with the mysterious Gepetto serve to heighten the sense of high strangeness that is encroaching on Mike's life.

The problem with this story is its overall execution. Too often, characters are introduced without rhyme or reason and fade off into the background without any explanation of why they appeared in the first place. Inexplicable events occur and although Mike does a good job of mirroring what readers inevitably feel ("why?"), answers are all too often lacking. The biggest frustration comes from a reunion scene in which Mike is given the most bland, boring excuse for why his life has shifted so radically; it's a letdown of the highest order and serves only to drain the story of whatever suspense it had left.

This story has all the hallmarks of an author who has definite talent, but (at this stage in his career) lacks the ability to pull a story into a tight, cohesive weave. So, as a recommendation, I would say that if a friend/family member already has this on their shelf, give it a shot.

[Lynn Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

First person viewpoint, easy read, easy to get into, little hard to put down. Interesting take on relationship struggles, and how both people affect the outcomes.
I really enjoyed this book and the concept of "the other world" tangling in with the real world. The ending was not a let down for me, but rather a little expected. Which for me is fine. Sometimes a person just gets sick of the fairy-tale writing styles that are overdone.
I had two dislikes about this book, one was using real peoples names' in the story, the other was the 9/11 incident.
I found using real names not very creative. Is this supposed to have the reader question if this was a real story? Awaken us to a world that interferes with ours when we have lost our ways? That Gheppetto is an angel of some sort?
The 9/11 Incident was surprising. As it worked up to this point in the story I found myself hoping the Author wouldn't go there, but lo-and-behold, he did. I guess it wasn't out of line, just …
However, the use of actual events and songs was a plus, and was able to bring the story a little more relatable to the reader.

[Jai · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I bought nexus -7 I wanted to read a good book on tablet to see how I would like reading digital books ( not pdfs..:P ). So I went ahead and bought kindle version of the book 'This book does not exist' as it had good reviews.

Book is new age fiction book with heavy presence of social networking sites like facebook and twitter, it also has a link to youtube video, which is part of the story. (This was a definite plus of having a kindle version of book, video was embedded and had to use just one click to watch it. I would have ignored it if I had the paperback edition ).

I found presence of social networking sites bit annoying, and being from different background than the intended audience of this book ( Americans and Europeans ) I missed lot of references to pop culture. But overall book is refreshing .

If I would have written a book, I could imagine it to be very much on the same lines as this book. It depicts everything in a very surreal manner, and since it has so many references including a video, it makes you feel as if you are reading story or blog by your friend and not a fiction novel.

Ending was little bland , but overall I can give it 6.5 of 10.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a bit worried as to whether I'd like this or not, and put it off for quite some time after only getting a few pages through-- [My dislike for digital reading didn't help that, really.] But once I picked it up again last night, well, I just couldn't stop.

At first, you're drawn in simply by the mundane, when the character talks about internet use, insecurities, and normal, every day life, you connect. It may be boring, but you're now connected to the character--and just have to see how things change.

The feelings of panic, the despair, the journey as a whole, I do believe were executed fantastically, and the metaphors--whether they're truly there or not, definitely make you think about your own life--and I believe this served me with a bit of enlightenment.

Definitely a book I will be recommending to those I know, and will keep an eye out for the authors next works.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have lived the first part of this book, in one way or another. In it's first quarter, it's a story of boy meets girl, they fall in love, things get serious, and the boy and girl start an effort to move in together when their long distance relationship becomes difficult to manage. On the eve of her arrival, she disappears without a trace. This is the part I have not lived, and don't want to live. It involves quantum realities, and the ways we can influence our worlds our ability to do so. It's not quite science fiction, not quite reality. This book will fool you. Schneider is ambitious, and does a good job keeping you in what amounts to a pretty unbelievable story--but as unbelievable as the story is, you want to see if the boy gets the girl in the end, and what the end really is.

[Luna Mireles · Rating 4 out of 5]

easy, fast read. i liked the metaphor. i like that they both had input into the incidents, as two people have input in a relationship, regardless if they're aware of it. there are incidents in life and you can ignore them and blindly move on, or you can invest the time to look at them and gain closure, ultimately changing you a little, usually for the better. You may or may not get the ending you think you deserve, but it's about what you learn along the way. And sometimes, at the end of a thing, if you really look at it, you can see more clearly whether or not you really wanted that thing in the first place.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh.

This book tries so hard to be House of Leaves mixed with Eternal Sunshine...

It really bothered me that "the door" was always in bold type. While Danielewski doesn't have any patents on this technique- it shows a lack of originality by the author.

I hate the concept of a "magical tour guide" to help explain the weirdness going on in a book. If the author took more time to develop his story- he wouldn't need to use such a cheap plot device, and his story as a whole would benefit.

It was a quick read, just very unoriginal and kind of boring to be honest. No character development, no reason to care.

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was another victim of "People who purchased this book also purchased..." for John Dies at the End on Amazon and it's awful to know that I'm helping to perpetuate that. This book is an introspective journey through a faltering relationship and not even remotely similar to the horror/comedy John Dies at the End. Since it's not the kind of book I'm interested in I'm not going to review it on its merits, I'm just going to say please don't read it thinking it will have any guys made of cockroaches in it.

[Jonny Illuminati · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think I cared for the ending of this book, and I'm not even really sure how I feel about the book as a whole, but given some time I will make up my mind (maybe).

This book seemed like a good first book for a starting author - unique idea and creative enough, but could really use a good editor and about 20 years of writing under his belt before really coming into his own.

Really, I just think I hate anything set in modern day, especially when it uses Twitter and Facebook as constantly in it as we do in our daily lives.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a book that sounded significantly better than it actually was. I really wanted it to be earnest and insightful, and towards the end I would have settled for just meaningful in any way. It was superficially philosophical, and seemed to be very proud of itself for it. It could be worth commending if the aim was to create an uninteresting character who represented the kind of childish self-absorption engendered by the self-affirming feedback loop of the kind of individually-tailored world permitted in the Internet age. I doubt it, though.

[Kathleen Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Slogged through 25% of this book before I finally gave up and deleted it. Horrible. If you are enthralled by the emo angst of what sounds like a teenage boy, this book is for you. If I want to read emo teenage boy, I'll hunt through the bedrooms of my sons for their angsty poetry.

This book felt like The Five People You Meet in Heaven, ripped off by a self pitying pubescent. There is nothing worthy here of the time to read it nor of the cost to download it - unless you a self-pitying pubescent.

[Erin Mckenney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was....interesting. I read it on an e-book, which made it multi-dimensional with the links and other electronic additions. This came my way after a recommendation similar to "House of Leaves" (one of my favorite works ever!) and I can see the similarities. Honestly, I have a difficult time rating this book, it was a little all over the place but I was invested in it the entire time. It was an original idea and I'll probably read it again.

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is really well written. Very graphic and keeps your attention. Howevever, I gave it one star because I was very disapointed with the ending. After all that descriptive writing and imagination, the ending was just completely awful. I wanted those two days of my life back! I did come away from it with a better grip on scene setting and first person pov.

[Kacharoni · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was an interesting book. not quite what my personal preference is but i didn't hate it. my favorite thing about it was the extra youtube surprise. that was pretty awesome and original (i have never seen anything like that done before).

[Kraig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book, and take on relationships. Had a lot of "eternal sunshine" imagery...which was nice. Writer needs to condense his writing style just a bit to avoid some pages of rambling...but, still, definitely worth a read.

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ehh. I believed I would enjoy this book more than I did. Might make a better mini series TV show than a book?
I skimmed a lot of pages at the end as things got very predictable and boring for me, but hey, an A for effort is deserved.