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Bad Sex: We Did It So You Won't Have To
Everyone's had it. But for some reason very few want to talk about it. Very few, that is, except the writers at Nerve.com.They've had some pretty bad sex and they have no problem kissing and telling. The stories in this unprecedented collection feature the most hilarious, heartbreaking, cringeworthy bad sex. We have chest-waxing gone awry; an unsavory attraction to a Frasier look-alike; hours-long hand jobs; Vienna sausages; and much much more. The stories are at once frank, outrageous, funny, and intense. What Nerve has done here should really be considered a public servicethey did it so we wouldn't have to.
- GenresNonfictionShort Stories
216 pages, Paperback
First published January 23, 2008
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36 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 27, 2008
Yes, another sex book. Not so great, though. Well, maybe it's a 3 stars - I dunno. 2 1/2? There was a good story about a man having sex with a vampire goth girl. My favorite story, however, was by Claudia Lonow. She describes how "no one has seen the real me since I was eight years old and got kicked out of my tent in sleep-away camp. And good thing, too. The real me is a needy, chubby, coked up, drunken whore who likes to lie in bed all day masturbating to the gang-rape scenes in A Clockwork Orange." She later goes on to describe an attempt to "peg" her boyfriend at the time (fuck him up in the ass with a strap-on), and the difficulties that ensued. I'd give her story 4 or 5 stars.
August 24, 2008
An often hilarious, sometimes poignant collection of personal essay from the writers at Nerve.com. From Neal Pollack's infamous "cat story" to a woman's unsuccessful first vibrator purchase (at Wal-Mart), these stories are a mixture of "you're not alone" relief and schadenfreude.
Human beings and sex: a topic that never seems to get old.
I recommend this book to anyone who has every had bad sex.
P.S. This book made me relieved that I am happily married.
Human beings and sex: a topic that never seems to get old.
I recommend this book to anyone who has every had bad sex.
P.S. This book made me relieved that I am happily married.
November 2, 2010
Being a collection of short work from contributors authors to the popular sex journalism web site Nerve.com, "Bad Sex" is a patchwork melding of sordid accounts both hilarious and horrific, and is an utterly engrossing read. The stories are divided up into sections by themed category, ranging from college sex to solo rounds to infidelity. The best of these, oddly enough, are almost always the less extreme accounts - those stories of clumsy inexperience and well-meaning, of yearning and burgeoning sexuality. There are a fair number of these, as well as the expected gross-out, bed-frame-shattering, drenched-in-bodily-fluid rompings. Even at their most outrageous, however, the latter are always told in a restrained, journalistic voice, devoid of any pomp or braggadocio. The actual content of the stories, too, is similarly kept at a "good taste" level, abstaining from any exceedingly graphic or tantalizing passages.
No, what's found here is strictly what's advertised in the title: bad sex. "Bad" is a wholly subjective word, though, and as such, some readers may be put off by what's actually offered here. In some cases, "bad" equates with lackluster performance, overconfidence, or a toxic attitude that kills the experience. Other times, "bad" is shown simply in the protagonist or someone involved not getting what they desire, be it the satisfaction of release in sex or the reciprocate affection from their mate. It is these, as previously mentioned, that tend to read best, tugging at the heartstrings and covering more widely familiar territory in emotional experience than the humorous gross-out romps. Nothing here is "bad," though, in the sense of being dull. No, this is "good" sex - sex we can relate to, sex we can double over in laughter at, sex we can smile wistfully at the thought of.
As a writer, one can get a better grasp on the informal tone and the handling of such a taboo, touchy subject in both memoir and general storytelling, as what's shown here is nearly always uninhibited and smacking of raw honesty on the page, despite it being of a private nature in society and the public in general. There are also a number of stories in this anthology that run a very short page length, which is something oft-avoided in short fiction, but punchy and memorable when done right. The handling of the sex scenes, themselves, though scattered and varying in nature, tone, and in-scene pace, is admirable throughout the entirety of the book - every story touches on it in some way or another, and when it's shown in-scene, the movements and thoughts of those participating is conveyed in a manner not unlike a fight scene through the viewpoint of a thinking protagonist in an action novel or a detective in a noir taking mental notes at a crime scene investigation; the physical action is secondary, whilst the character's voice, observance, and personal reflection are given primary focus. As such, it's very easy to read through these scenes without feeling the least bit tantalized (not that you'd expect that, necessarily, given the nature of the title).
This is particularly useful for a writer to learn to emulate, because it gives him or her the option of varying up tone concerning sex scenes for a wider range of audience. Those writing erotica or sexually-charged, graphic action (gritty, Heavy Metal-esque SF or pulp erotica, for instance) will find good examples in this book of how to inject some depth and nuance of character thought into their fictional sexcapades, whilst those writing sex journalism or a non-sexually-oriented genre will discover new ways to avoid "drawing the blinds" on their characters if they so choose, as well as how to ensure that such scenes are not uncomfortable for their typical audience.
No, what's found here is strictly what's advertised in the title: bad sex. "Bad" is a wholly subjective word, though, and as such, some readers may be put off by what's actually offered here. In some cases, "bad" equates with lackluster performance, overconfidence, or a toxic attitude that kills the experience. Other times, "bad" is shown simply in the protagonist or someone involved not getting what they desire, be it the satisfaction of release in sex or the reciprocate affection from their mate. It is these, as previously mentioned, that tend to read best, tugging at the heartstrings and covering more widely familiar territory in emotional experience than the humorous gross-out romps. Nothing here is "bad," though, in the sense of being dull. No, this is "good" sex - sex we can relate to, sex we can double over in laughter at, sex we can smile wistfully at the thought of.
As a writer, one can get a better grasp on the informal tone and the handling of such a taboo, touchy subject in both memoir and general storytelling, as what's shown here is nearly always uninhibited and smacking of raw honesty on the page, despite it being of a private nature in society and the public in general. There are also a number of stories in this anthology that run a very short page length, which is something oft-avoided in short fiction, but punchy and memorable when done right. The handling of the sex scenes, themselves, though scattered and varying in nature, tone, and in-scene pace, is admirable throughout the entirety of the book - every story touches on it in some way or another, and when it's shown in-scene, the movements and thoughts of those participating is conveyed in a manner not unlike a fight scene through the viewpoint of a thinking protagonist in an action novel or a detective in a noir taking mental notes at a crime scene investigation; the physical action is secondary, whilst the character's voice, observance, and personal reflection are given primary focus. As such, it's very easy to read through these scenes without feeling the least bit tantalized (not that you'd expect that, necessarily, given the nature of the title).
This is particularly useful for a writer to learn to emulate, because it gives him or her the option of varying up tone concerning sex scenes for a wider range of audience. Those writing erotica or sexually-charged, graphic action (gritty, Heavy Metal-esque SF or pulp erotica, for instance) will find good examples in this book of how to inject some depth and nuance of character thought into their fictional sexcapades, whilst those writing sex journalism or a non-sexually-oriented genre will discover new ways to avoid "drawing the blinds" on their characters if they so choose, as well as how to ensure that such scenes are not uncomfortable for their typical audience.
February 13, 2014
I went looking for some light erotica "for a friend", but discovered this humorous book of short-stories instead. These tragic tales, which read like 1-page magazine columns, gratified my juvenile and sadistic fantasies of laughing at other people's horrible sex lives. Not all the stories are funny as each one was penned by a different writer of Nerve.com, but for the most part their brevity and hard-hitting endings [hehe ;^)] made them worth the hour it took to finish all of them. The book is also full of memorable one-liners like, "My ideal man is reasonably sized, but worried that he's small, and thereby offers a full menu of additional services." I recommend starting this book on page 77, then returning to the beginning if you have the time.
June 25, 2009
This book about bad sex wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be. Oh, all of the stories were appropriately cringe worthy, but none of the writing was outstanding. A good story poorly written doesn't move me nearly as much as a kind of boring story that's well written.
I just looked through the book again to find my favorite pieces, but nothing really stands out. Sigh.
It's kind of funny: a mediocre book about bad sex.
I just looked through the book again to find my favorite pieces, but nothing really stands out. Sigh.
It's kind of funny: a mediocre book about bad sex.
August 29, 2009
This is supposed to be a collection of humorous essays about sex gone bad. The humor was rather weak. I think I chuckled a few times, but this is a far cry from side-splitting humor. The book was recommended on the Savage Love podcast. Apparently, Dan Savage is easily entertained.
July 3, 2008
Book was boring, coulda been so much better.
Want to Read
July 28, 2008I can't imagine I'll actually pay money for this book, but if it finds its way to me somehow, I'll gladly read it. Look at that cover!
August 25, 2008
Funniest story in this book has to be the anal flashlight ... (=
October 20, 2008
A collection of non-fiction stories about horrible sexual experiences. Really funny!
October 9, 2012
This was slightly entertaining but not as hilarious as the title and concept sounds. A bad impulse buy from the bargain bin at Borders.
June 30, 2013
Needed something to keep my mind off this kidney stone. thought this would be funnier than it was. Go read Tucker Max instead.
August 11, 2013
As usual with books that contain pieces by various writers, the quality is pretty sketchy. Some are funny, some pointless. A real mixed bag, with none that really stand out.
September 27, 2016
If you are feeling at all bad about your sex life (or lack thereof) this might cheer you up.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews