PRACTICING AFFIRMATION PB by CRABTREE SAM

by Sam Crabtree

It happens in marriages, parent-child relationships, friendships, workplaces, and Communication falters, friendships wane, teenagers withdraw, marriages fail, and bitter rifts sever once-strong ties. Christian communities are no exception. Why do so many of our relationships suffer from alienation, indifference, and even hostility?Author Sam Crabtree believes that often at the heart of these breakdowns is a lack of affirmation. He observes in Scripture that God grants mercy to those who refresh others, and in life that people tend to be influenced by those who praise them. Crabtree shows how a robust "God-centered affirmation ratio" refreshes others and honors God.Practicing Affirmation sounds a call to recognize and affirm the character of Christ in others. When done well, affirmation does not fuel pride in the person, but refreshes them and honors God. All who are discouraged in relationships will find wisdom and practical insight in this book.

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Christianity, Theology, Parenting, Nonfiction, Faith

Paperback Bunko

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Sam Crabtree (MEd, South Dakota State) is a pastor at the Mounds View campus of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is a former public school teacher and has served at Bethlehem Baptist Church since 1997. He serves as the board chairman for Bethlehem College & Seminary and a board officer for desiringGod.org. Sam and his wife, Vicki, live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and have two daughters and six grandchildren.

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good for me - affirmation isn't something I'm good at, so this was a much needed book for me.

[Margaret Perkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I consider myself a fairly encouraging person, but was definitely challenged by this eye-opening book. Now that I've read it I am full of motivation to go out of my way to affirm others - not just with empty flattery for their appearances, but with the evidence of God's work in their lives, progress towards holiness, or pieces of his character that I see in them.

It turns out that affirming people is not as wishy washy as I first thought when I read the title of this book. Our motivation for commending other people is that "all the works of God are worthy of praise. And there is no good in anyone but by the work of God" (from the introduction by John Piper). The goal of affirming people is glorifying God, pointing out ways that he has done good things in them and noticing the qualities he has given them as gifts!

I was struck by the realization that no good trait I have is one that is MINE - "The only commendable attributes in people were given to them." God in his grace has lavished me with praiseworthy qualities, and when others point them out to me, I should "close the loop" and attribute the good thing to him! And similarly, when I see a good thing in another person, my goal is to point out how they are like God, to the glory of his grace.

For this reason, we can also wholeheartedly affirm those who are not Christians; they too are made in the image of God and have been given GOOD qualities that reflect him. The author argues that continually affirming unbelievers gives us a platform to share the gospel and be HEARD. It makes us trustworthy.

There are dozens of examples of how to commend others, including children, and even a whole chapter with a list of 100 ideas for affirmation if you get stuck.

I learned other things: it is Biblical and good to desire to be praised (we should look forward to God saying "well done, good and faithful servant!"); God "wastes nothing he designs" and so I can ask him to help me see the qualities he has deliberately given to the people around me; "refreshing others and receiving mercy from God are linked"; the ratio of times I should affirm to the number of times I should correct is WAY bigger than I thought; and "we can affirm progress, even when it still falls short of mastery". There is also an excellent chapter on the characteristics of Jesus and how we can call them out in other people. He is perfect in all things and we can see evidence of him in others!

I saw a review or two that complained about the author's style - there are a LOT of metaphors, sometimes three or more in a single paragraph, and in the first couple of chapters, especially, he can be hard to absorb. His paragraphs can run a little wild and it can be hard to follow the thread of what he wants to say. These things are true, but I think that multiple metaphors can be really helpful to certain kinds of readers, and the latter chapters are more concise. The overall structure did feel strange to me. For example, there's a chapter on "Important Assumptions" that comes halfway through the book. It just didn't flow very well. But all of these are small reasons not to read this book. It was MUCH more encouraging and insightful than it was jarring to read.

I also saw a review saying that this book didn't speak enough to Godly correction, but I disagree with that wholeheartedly. There is a whole chapter dedicated to it (which is generous, considering this is a book about affirmation, not correction) and many of the other chapters mention the topic, too. Overall it's fantastic and really Scripturally grounded, and I'm so glad I read it!

[Ben Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ah... There is SO much I want to say about this book.

I think this topic is one that we in our circles, and especially myself, are incredibly poor at.

The amount of hurt we could avoid, love we could demonstrate, and hearings in the lives of non-beleivers we could win if we were to be a people and a community known to lovingly affirm the characteristics of Christ in others.

The book is very American, and sometimes overly anecdotal, but on the whole it is theologically faithful and gives excellent time to practical examples.

The chapter on giving criticism is particularly excellent, and one I would highly recommend if you struggle to be heard well when you need to challenge someone.

It has inspired and convicted me to pursue being a man who is known as someone who affirms rather than criticises, who shows love rather than coldness and who delights in brother's and sister's godly traits before seeing the negative in them.

[Stephen Altrogge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so very helpful to me. I am critical by nature. I am more inclined to point out people's flaws than encourage them for their strengths. This book challenged me to grow in the biblical practice of affirming and encouraging other Christians. I recommend this to all.

[Alex Kearney · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some great things in this book: the list of 100 ideas for affirming others, for example. And I’m motivated to be better at affirmation now.

But the writing / editing made this a very difficult read. It seemed like the chapters were in a completely random order. It could’ve been half as long; some topics were repeated over and over again (how should / can we affirm unbelievers? balancing affirmation and correction, etc). The writing was choppy with some extremely difficult to follow metaphors. There were way too many questions that I don’t think anyone is asking (should I affirm Satan so that I can have a more open line of communication with him in order to tell him to stop harassing me?)

[Jason Herrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of practical, helpful encouragements to be a better affirmer of others. He argues convincingly for the value of specific, God honoring affirmation in others’ lives. I thought the book was a little repetitive but still many helpful nuggets in there.

“Think this way: give so many affirmations as a pattern, a way of life, that you gain a reputation for it. You are known for your affirmations, not your criticisms, your corrections.”

“By affirming, we teach. We make explicit what is important.”

[Devin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sam Crabtree: an excellent pastor and, now, a pretty good author. I picked this book per the suggestion of a friend and mentor after I confessed to him how little affirmation I have given to others. This book was just what I needed.

Crabtree does an excellent job throughout the book keeping a pastoral tone. While addressing theological controversy where he needs to, he paints a beautiful picture of how habitual affirmation can create and restore deep relationships in marriages, families, friends, and churches.

As mentioned above, Crabtree does address theological controversies when he comes close to them. One of his wrestlings throughout the book centers around how his message is not promoting some kind of self-esteem gospel which feeds people's sinful pride. Crabtree is always sure to bring his focus on affirmation in line with Christ, keeping our eyes fixed on him who is most valuable. One of the themes in these sections sounds like this, "Our problem then is not that we want to be made much of. Our problem is that we want to be made much of for the wrong reasons" (p 29). Crabtree never pretends that Christians are unemotional automatons who need to get over themselves but shows how we can both uplift each other and glorify God in our affirming words - both to believers and unbelievers.

Throughout my read, I often caught myself smiling. A world in which people practice affirmation the way Crabtree describes it sounds wonderful. What's more, it sounds obtainable! Yes, implementing any of the suggestions in the last chapter, "100 Affirmation Ideas for Those Who Feel Stuck," will require repentance and humility. However, the joys which may result from making the effort are worth every ounce of awkwardness one will have to overcome.

This book's is a timely message. In a world which preaches wrong affirmation and affirmation in the wrong things, I thank God for Crabtree and his book which can help the church rightly use this wonderful gift of affirmation.

[Barry · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a lot to affirm in this book. Unfortunately, there isn't much to write about. Mr. Crabtree has an excellent message and his delivery is clear. However, for the amount of editing that he indicates took place, the book is surprisingly disjointed. He includes a Q&A as chapter 6 of 9. I don't believe I've ever seen a Q&A with that much of a book left. Granted, the last half of the book feels like a series of appendices, but still, I'm surprised that with a team of editors involved a book would still feel herky jerky. That said, the message of this book is timely, ageless, and needs to be heard. The church ought to be a leader in encouraging people, and hopefully Mr. Crabtree's message will be heard and applied by the masses.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It has encouraged me to want to look for the good in others and affirm that. We don't want to offer empty affirmations aka flattery, but instead take the time to really notice God at work in others lives, even non believers- for even they experience the common grace that God offers. This book made me reflect on the words that I speak; am I affirming others (spouse, kids, family, friends) or criticizing? Highly recommend this. I believe it could be life changing for a marriage, in parenting, friendship and even winning the hearts of unbelievers for Christ.

[Paul Reynolds · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're a Pharisaical psychopath this book is for you...and you won't read it. There are lots of defences against the kind of objections that are raised by the most unpleasant of people under the guise of being Biblical and not looking for mindless affirmation. The kind of person who thinks they have apostolic rights to admonish, and no reason to affirm. The kind of person that thinks your doctrine is a tributary of the River Styx, but doesn't have a kind word for anybody. For example, "It is not our place to curse unbelievers." Er...yeah...most of us already knew that...who the HECK are you thinking of???

The defences against those objections were a distraction. And it felt like the possibility of those objections weighed heavily on the mind of the author, whose sample 'affirmations' - and I use the term loosely - were too often somewhere between laughable and outright counterproductive. For example:

He turns affirmation-giving into an off-puttingly onerous and hazardous task, which he describes as, "...a point that musts thread a needle having a very small eye. A single twitch to one side, and the result is man-centered, God-belittling self-esteem, missing the target entirely. A slight over-adjustment in the opposite direction and all affirmation of humans is deemed idolatrous, also missing the eye." His analogy for not over-praising people, is to say that an award-winning pie is not the focus of the praise, but the maker of the pie is. Actually, people fawn over the pie but give the pie itself zero credit for anything. So either it's a terrible analogy for well-hidden reasoning, or his reasoning is way off.

The next page offers a better maxim: "We make idols when we praise what God has made more than we praise God". THAT'S the point, but it's a point that gets lost in his terror of falling foul of the anti-affirmation brigade waiting at his door, waiting for an uncaveated compliment as a pretext to break down his door and cast him into the jail for hopeless liberal saps. ("I am slamming the brakes on the perception that human hero worship and celebrity mindset is what I'm suggesting." The idea that serious people would seriously suspect him of that is absurd. Which goes to my point that he's defending himself against dreadful, miserable, and deeply UNserious people.

Further, I wouldn't want devotees of his methodology affirming me at all, because even RESPONDING to affirmation is turned into a theological minefield. He teaches readers to deflect everything, to the point of making the affirming person feel ungodly for having said anything. Don't worry though, because when you see his example below, you know that nobody will twice affirm the person who first responded like this:
"You are very alert to notice what God is doing", or "Any skill you see in me I received from God and through those he placed around me to train me".

So when someone compliments you, don't just say "Thankyou", or even "Thankyou. Praise God for that." No, you have to pretend you were no more than an unwitting finger-puppet, and that the complimenter probably is too stupid to realise it.

Part of the problem comes from a flawed theology of self. "I am a fool, and a selfish one," wrote the author. Actually no, because "selfish" people go to hell (Galatians 5:19-21). Rather, as a Christian he is a selfless person who sometimes gives in to temptation to be selfish. And that's not being pedantic, it's pretty basic theology that the apostles go over repeatedly. We are not damned by a sin, but if we are defined by a sin then we are damned. But as before, such statements read like a sop to the Pharisee crowd that imagines reading this at a book-burning event.

Early in the book the author warns against headlining a communication with an affirmation, when it's plain that only criticism is intended. So obviously I piled in with a bunch of criticisms first. But I'm still giving this book three stars, for the reason that serves as the cause for much of what's bad about it: it's someone in a camp of Pharisees trying to help the Pharisees act with more compassion, grace and helpfulness to the rest of us. And that's a noble effort that will have many thankless moments.

He posits an attitude of affirmation as a calling, and a focus. And there are worthy points about not being vague or false in our affirmations, but rather looking for qualities of godliness to be complimentary about. The book is a good call to intentional, specific affirmation, rather than reflexive or superficial compliments. Affirm the behaviour you want to see in your child, for example. And don't wait for objective high quality before you say something nice.

Personally, I've found Paul the apostle's affirmation of the incest-honouring, divisive, sexual immoral Corinthians to be an object lesson in finding the good and honouring it, before you turn to the bad and call it out. I think that's the strongest Biblical example of the need to affirm a bunch of schmucks, and I wish the author would have wielded that weapon in his homeboy-Pharisees' faces.

Most of us could do with reminders and exhortations like that. It's just that most of don't have to be constantly warned that good affirmation isn't idol-worship, before we'll listen to tips on how to be affirming.

I'm glad he wrote it, I'm glad I read it, and I hope it does much good. But my recommending it would be extremely selective.

[Wayne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give this book 3.5 stars. The topic is one that is very practical and Crabtree does much to help the reader move from the abstract—affirmation is important—to the concrete—how do I affirm those around me? How do I grow in affirmation?

The content of this book could be summarized and used in training settings at church. I would see value in impressing upon small group leaders, teachers, elders, and others the importance of affirmation and providing some practical ways to grow in that regard. I could see the book also being a valuable discipleship tool for marriages that have grown icy or emotionally distant.

[Conor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book rocked my boat.

Gently shattering my preconceived ideas about affirmation that were simply ploys of my own prideful character. More than ever am I convinced that affirmation is a rare sought after skill that when wielded well produces great relational intimacy.

[Matthew Le Croissette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really helpful nuggets with lots of (very American) practical examples. The core concepts were solid (especially the phrase ‘God-centred affirmation of those who aren’t God’) and I think his comments on criticism and refreshment are perceptive.

Unfortunately I think there’s a much shorter and perhaps more compelling book hiding in this one. ‘Notice and verbalise’ was a helpful summing up of how to affirm that was hidden 2/3 of the way through a list of 100 affirmation examples. I also would have liked some discussion of making God-centred affirmation sound ‘normal’, or at least a nod to how it might initially feel weird to go from ‘good job’ to praise that explicitly affirms Christ/the work of God in the person.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” -Proverbs 18:21

There is much I want to say about this book but i don’t know how to put it into words. What a difference it would make if God’s people took a heart posture of looking for, noticing, and naming Christ at work in others (or God’s image and common grace in those he has created) for their refreshment and God’s glory. What a difference it would make if that was *my* heart posture. Crabtree’s book has both convicted me and encouraged me towards that end.

[Zan · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. GREAT message, mediocre writing. In spite of the fact that I'm only giving this 3.5 stars, I highly recommend that everyone who interacts with another human reads this book, or at least chapter 2.

From what I understand, the author is a colleague of Piper's, and the vibe of his writing is extremely similar. In fact, Piper wrote the intro, and if you didn't know the author you could easily think Piper wrote the book.

THE DOWNSIDE: At times the author drives the point he's already made home to the point of tedium. It could easily be shorter (and it's already pretty short). At one point he's analogously talking about affirmation like it's a key to gain entrance into a house; he spends multiple paragraphs talking about how important a key is to a house - including an example of a time when he was unlocked out of his house. This sort of thing is overkill to me; a key analogy can be sufficiently made in one sentence, two tops.

THE UPSIDE: The lessons in the book are extremely important and convicting. Here are a few I took away.
1. While he makes clear there's no biblical affirmation-to-critique ratio, he convincingly argues that if the overwhelming tone of a relationship isn't one of affirmation then critiques will be worthless. In making this point, he shares a C.J. Maheny quote that encourages 5-10:1 affirmation-to-criticism.
2. Related to point #1, if you want influence, you must affirm. This can be done in an ungodly, manipulative way. But that fact doesn't change the reality that this is the way people are wired.
3. He talks about the importance of God-centered affirmation. This means affirming something that reflects God's character and often in a way that explicitly mentions God. He points out that the pattern of the Bible isn't direct gratitude but sharing with someone that you thank God for them. Don't focus on shallow compliments, e.g. You are pretty. Focus on God-centered affirmations, e.g. God displayed his abundant creativity and care when he formed you.
4. Live life in a way that gives people the benefit of the doubt and seeks ways to affirm. I could elaborate on his arguments here, but this point is pretty self-explanatory. Not new info but tough to live out.
5. If you want to receive mercy and affirmation, be the kind of person who dishes it out.

These five (overlapping) points are worth the price of the book as well as the repetitions and over-elaborated analogies endured in the book. Read it and live it.

[Brian Pate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Praise what God is doing in other people. That's the big idea of this book. If we fail to commend the character of Christ and reflection of God's image in others, we actually rob him of his rightful glory. We should bring God into our compliments, since they are to be based on reflections of his character.

The bulk of the book is in chapters 2-3 (45 pages), where Crabtree explains that there must be a healthy proportion between correction and affirmations. Too much correction will cause the recipient to tune us out. He argues against the "sandwich method," phony affirmations, hero worship, and flattery. God-centered affirmation can encourage, motivate, celebrate our values, glorify God, and just make us easier to live with.

Positives: This book challenged me to have the reputation of someone who always encourages (pp. 40, 46). It gave me practical ideas to obey 1 Cor 14:26 and "let all things be done for building up." It made me pray that I could grow in alertness (to spot things to affirm), humility (to consider others more important than myself), and gratefulness (so I am eager to affirm others).

Critiques: If I were the editor at Crossway, I would have said to Crabtree, "I thank God for the heart you have for this topic and the biblical insights you have on it. There is much in this book that is fantastic! In order to help people grasp your insights better, I recommend a rewrite. The material seems out of order and repetitive."

Also, Crabtree often gave lengthy answers to questions that no one is asking. He starts by addressing the concern that praising others would be idolatry. Who thinks that? He worries that very innocuous statements will set off our "heresy meter" when I think he is the only one who is concerned about it (e.g., p. 91).

Finally, I wish the book had been more practical. I was not looking for a theological defense of the legitimacy of affirming others. I already know I should do it. I'm just selfish, lazy, and don't know how.

[John Brackbill · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept was very helpful and important to be reminded of. He laid out the Biblical basis for practicing affirmation in the first part of the book. There are some helpful examples given as well.

Here are a few negatives (at the risk of not being affirming!)
-The formatting on this kindle addition was very bad-worst I have seen.
-His style of writing does not flow very well.
-At times it seemed like the biblical foundation for affirming was a distant memory and popular psychology tactics had taken over.
-There was some sloppiness in wording and precision (e.g. when he referred to or words being our justification. He didn't take the time to clarify in what way our words are our justification).
-Several times he wrote as if he was not convinced that what he was saying was needed. Here is one example: "Some readers don't need this chapter and they are welcome to skip it" (chapter 4).
-It seemed that what was said could be said in much less than 176 pages as it was repetitive.

Despite my negative comments, I did take away some concepts and encouragements that I believe will stick with me and impact me. I would recommend this book for someone who recognizes they struggle with affirming others-it will challenge you in that struggle and be useful to equip you. I would recommend it on the basis that I currently know of no other book that would raise this issue in an extended way, not withstanding the real weaknesses I have mentioned.

[David Morris · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's not very affirming of me to give this 2 stars. And I feel bad. But personally I didn't enjoy this book as much as I had hoped. I found the first chapter and the idea that good affirmation affirms Godliness or Christlikeness helpful. Stylistically, I thought the book was repetitive, the vocabulary esoteric at points, and at times the wording cloying. It also seemed really light on Scriptural support, and though it wasn't pop psychology it lacked a consistent exegetical support to match its solid theological underpinnings.

At the same time, the reason I read this book was because I've been made aware of my need to encourage and affirm others, and it was good for me to think through. Perhaps my review means I haven't learned my lesson yet, but while I affirm its central point I was hoping for more substance from this book.

[Trisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did. Perhaps it was a Kindle issue and there were errors in the formatting. Crabtree's writing often didn't flow, and he was a bit too repetitive in trying to make sure we understood what he WASN'T saying. I'm sure he was trying to ward off critics ahead of time, but his efforts were a bit frustrating. Some of his suggestions and assertions didn't sit well with me, but I'd have to reflect more on why, and perhaps just read this one again. In spite of these criticisms, this is a worthy read, and Crabtree makes many great points and offers practical ways to affirm those in our lives, in both word AND deed.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book about seeing the grace of God in others. Very useful and encouraging resource on improving your attitude towards others. Not a squishy, feel-good read. It's a positive theology of building up others and actively seeing the sanctifying work of God in those around you.

Read in March 2012 and again March 2013 to prepare for a sermon.

[Amber Thiessen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book on an important topic, that -I’ll confess - I don’t think I ever really learned well. So, no more excuses after reading this book, to affirm people, because we’re created in His image and it means paying attention.

[Mandi Ehman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book and I do agree with the principle, but it felt like a blog post that had been expanded using lots (and lots!) of words that basically all said the same thing. I can’t honestly say why I didn’t abandon it completely other than I kept hoping for something more.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

About affirming others - giving compliments, encouraging them based on their good actions, etc. Many helpful observations. Emphasizes the importance of affirming what one sees of God's character in them. This applies, of course, both to believers and unbelievers. Deals a bit with the distinction between being encouraged by a compliment and having one's pride fed, and between flattery and godly edification. Talks about how people need such encouragement, and how a bad relationship develops gradually if there is no affirmation - that is how people become less receptive to hearing anything one says, will certainly not receive criticism, and, in the case of a marriage, are tempted to look for unhealthy affirmation from other people than their spouse. Many helpful anecdotes to show how this works. This is an important contribution to contemporary Christianity. It is so easy, when things seem to be going well, to relax and think, "Good, now I can focus on other things" instead of investing time and energy in affirming and showing appreciation for those that contribute.
The reason it lost a star is that I felt that though it has an important, helpful, and well-delivered message, it is a bit sloppy with its use of the Scriptures (both in the scriptures it uses and important texts that seem overlooked), and is sloppy in explaining the theological/philosophical underpinnings of the practice of affirmation. So I feel the reasoning behind such statements as, "Speak well of people to others," and "the 80's fad of empty affirmation was unhelpful" is week (though I fully agree with the statements). But definitely a book worth reading and that will help Christians take better care of each other.

[Lauren Fee · Rating 4 out of 5]

God used this book to really put his thumbprint on an area of my sanctification that needs to be changed to reflect more of Christ--affirmation. I could go back in my story and assign blame on why I struggle with this, but I believe it really comes back to the fall, especially in my own marriage. I withhold affirmation in order to wield power over an area that I want to manipulate or change through criticism. Aside from this, I daily fail to give proper praise to others and ultimately to God for the good that I see in them due to my own lack of intentionality as well as the general busyness of life. This book revealed so much about the state of my heart behind my lack of affirmation of others, and it showed me the opposite is true. Through affirmation, we earn the right to be heard and eventually bring needed correction. This book does not exalt smiley faces, sticker charts, pats on the back, or vague "Good Job!'s", but instead promotes God-centered affirmation of those who are not God. You have to know Christ to know how to exalt others for being Christ-like. I can already see how intentionally practicing affirmation has refreshed my relationships and I look forward to the fruit I will continue to reap because of my obedience to Christ in this area.

[Ryan Trzeciak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Affirmation is the key to good relationships. This is the theme of Crabtree’s book. Not that affirmation is the only thing that makes relationships good, but that affirmation is the entry point. Much like your house key gives you access to your house and all the good things there in, affirmation gives you access to all the enjoyment of a good relationship. What does he mean by affirmation? It is commending the commendable, being on the lookout for Christlikeness and godly characteristics in others, and pointing it out. It is seeing God and his work in others and helping them to see what you see. And by doing so, you gain a hearing, because, as Crabtree indicates, people are most influenced by those who affirm them. This book provides not only the understanding but also some practical suggests on how to incorporate this into your life, as well as some mistakes to avoid. I highly recommend this book.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical and Scripturally-sound. I found myself in my everyday life recalling sections and looking for specific ways in which to affirm those around me in order to point back to their Creator. It led me in a VERY healthy practice for my relational life. I think there were a few points where I felt the message was clear a little sooner than the chapter ended (i.e. it dragged on a bit) but in all I recommend it highly! Particularly for someone hoping to grow in Words of Affirmation (I know I need the help...)!

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is such a good reminder to encourage others by pointing out the Christ like characteristics they exhibit. Everyone is made in the image of God and they therefore show characteristics of Christ whether they mean to or not. I am a fairly encouraging person, but this book has helped shift my perspective on what I should be affirming(make it Christ centered). Ultimately, it is God glorifying. It is true that without affirmation, it is unlikely someone will listen to any attempts to speak into their lives. I have found this to be true with teenagers especially! A good reminder for my relationship with my husband as well.

[Tiffany Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breath of fresh air

This has been such a delight to read. He gives practical application for concepts covered and uplifts the reader along the way. I am already reaping the benefits of applications of these ideas! Answer to prayer.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, but helpful read on affirming others in a way that point to Christ's work in their lives. "Affirmation is truthfully declaring by complimentary word or action the goodness of something. Good affirmation attests, certifies, or confirms that which honors God."

[Seth Hensarling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want to be much farther developed here than I am - Habits of sarcasm are deep grooves to dig out of. And I am so slow to notice and react to commendable situations!

I enjoyed his talks more than the book
But the list of 100 ideas to affirm others is gold!

What a great channel for using the creativity God gives us to outdo one another in showing honor!