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No. Just no. If CoFA hadn't come along strutting its stuff, The Magnolia League might quite possibly have ended up on my Absolute Worst Book of 2011 list. Trust me on this one, Sane = Staying the Hell away from this book.
In all fairness, the book got off to a fairly good start. Perhaps even *gasp!* unique. Alexandria Lee, who prefers to be called Alex, has just come to live with her grandmother Dorothy, after her mother dies in a car accident. Dorothy is the head of a bunch of what Alex considers prissy socialite women who are all eerily powerful and rich and youthfully beautiful. (But of course that doesn't engender any suspicion or curiosity in our Hemingway-literate heroine!). Alex's grandmother is the most respected woman in Savannah, and she expects Alex to succeed her as the head of the Magnolia League.
Alex has spent her entire life in a commune with her mother. She's chubby, has dreads, loves vintage t-shirts and hates sweet tea. She has no desire to fall in with her grandmother's plans for her and dreams only of going back to be with her boyfriend on the commune. However, she soon discovers that everything is not as it seems in The Magnolia League, and ends up in a dangerous situation with heart-breaking choices all around her.
Apparently there's a rule I didn't know about, that says that only fat girls are allowed to be smart, sassy and wickedly witty. Once you start losing weight, of course, you also shed a few million brain cells and end up turning into a complete bimbo. Which is what, tragically, happens to Alex.
Fat Alex is fun and snarky; she uses her brain in every situation, and isn't afraid to be herself, and stand up for her friends. She's unwilling to take shit from even the hottest boy she knows, and she even holds her own against bitchy debutantes. I sort-of liked fat Alex, despite her unfortunate penchant for crying in public at the smallest provocations. (Public criers are a big no-no for me!)
But after Alex runs away to California and discovers some unpleasant truths, returning once more to Savannah, she is ambushed by her Magnolia friends, Hayes and Madison. She undergoes a disturbing experience and wakes up in the morning and goes to the public library to research hoodoo. She discovers the difference between hoodoo and voodoo and how the spells are cast and everything.
She then returns home, and her grandmother tells her the truth about being a hoodoo practitioner, and she laughs and starts saying stuff about voodoo and basically asking all the questions that had already been answered when she read the library book. WTF?!
SO anyway, hoodoo practitioning gives Alex a complete makeover and turns her into size zero gorgeous (because God-forbid we have a heroine who's pretty but chubby — or worse, one who has to work to improve her appearance, instead of quick-fixing it with magic) and of course, the hot-but-snobby guy decides to kiss her. He claims that he liked her before she became supermodel hot, but please - isn't the timing a little too convenient?
Anyway, the book just goes down the drain from there, progressively becoming more inane. The ending just sort of rushes in, makes next-to-no impact, and rushes out again. Of course there is a pretty debutante dress, a fight with the boyfriend (because Alex randomly decides to be jealous of his ex-girlfriend, who is also her friend, and try to hoodoo him into loving her after he EXPRESSLY told her they would be over forever and ever if she tried it), a patch-up and a plan to run away with this spineless manipulatable hunk of muscle, the Big Reveal, Alex's decision to Betray Her Love and Sacrifice Herself On The Altar of Parental Devotion and a lame set-up for the next novel. Which I will not be reading.
Seriously, I might have given this book 2 stars despite the Easy-Slim advertisement, but the ending pissed me off so much, I would give it negative stars if I could! The whole Big Sacrifice thing was so sloppily plotted and such a last-ditch effort to induce some suspense into this comedy of manners, and throw Big Obstacles In The Path Of True Luvv, that my intelligence felt insulted (and went to another corner of the room and sulked while I finished the book up).
I felt no connection to superhot Alex,none at all to hot-but-uninteresting Thaddeus, (have these women never heard of character development?!) no interest in the Super Bad Evil Villain(s?) and a positive hatred towards the story's ending. In fact, the only bright spots in this entire book were Hayes, Madison and Dexter, and we didn't get to see nearly enough of them.
Oh, and be warned: This book jumps uncomfortably between first person and third person narratives, both in simple present, which makes for a very choppy reading experience.
All in all, the heroine is TSTL, the messages this book imparts are all wrong, and the cliffie-ish ending is exasperating. My recommendation? Go watch some 16 & Pregnant instead!