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Gone to an Aunt's: Remembering Canada's Homes for Unwed Mothers
Thirty or forty years ago, everybody knew what that phrase meant: a girl or a young, unmarried woman had gotten herself pregnant. She was “in trouble.” She had brought indescribable shame on herself and her family. In those days it was unthinkable that she would have her child and keep it. Instead she had to hide. Most likely she would be sent away to a home for unwed mothers, where she would stay in secrecy until her baby was born and given up for adoption. “Gone to an aunt’s” was the usual cover story, a fiction that everyone understood but no on talked about –until now.
In Gone to an Aunt’s, journalist and long-time television host Anne Petrie takes us back into these homes for unwed mothers. Most cities in Canada had at least one home, several as many as five or six, most of them run by religious organizations. Here, in institutional settings, the girls were kept out of sight until their time was up and they could return to the world as if nothing had happened.
Seven women –including the author – recount their experiences in Gone to an Aunt’s, talking openly, some for the first time, about how they got pregnant; the reaction of their parents, friends, boyfriends, and lovers; why they wound up in a home; and how they managed to cope with its rules and regulations –no last names, no talking about the past –and the promise of salvation that could come only through work and prayer.
Gone to an Aunt’s is a profoundly moving and compassionate –even alarming – account. It comes as a reminder that we not get too wistful for the supposedly innocent times before the sexual revolution. That innocence, Petrie shows vividly, was a charade made believable only because the thousands of girls who had broken the rules were hidden away.
In Gone to an Aunt’s, journalist and long-time television host Anne Petrie takes us back into these homes for unwed mothers. Most cities in Canada had at least one home, several as many as five or six, most of them run by religious organizations. Here, in institutional settings, the girls were kept out of sight until their time was up and they could return to the world as if nothing had happened.
Seven women –including the author – recount their experiences in Gone to an Aunt’s, talking openly, some for the first time, about how they got pregnant; the reaction of their parents, friends, boyfriends, and lovers; why they wound up in a home; and how they managed to cope with its rules and regulations –no last names, no talking about the past –and the promise of salvation that could come only through work and prayer.
Gone to an Aunt’s is a profoundly moving and compassionate –even alarming – account. It comes as a reminder that we not get too wistful for the supposedly innocent times before the sexual revolution. That innocence, Petrie shows vividly, was a charade made believable only because the thousands of girls who had broken the rules were hidden away.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
December 9, 2020
Some very good accounts from across Canada of what was like to be an unwed mother in the 50s and 60s living in a group home away from the public eye. The shame thrust upon these women fills me with rage. But it was a different era and I’m trying to find peace with that. The author’s own commentary is also now rather dated with old fashioned attitudes. But it was published over 20 years ago so that’s to be expected, I suppose. All in all quite a good social history of a little covered topic.
August 31, 2012
Book Description from amazon: Thirty or forty years ago, everybody knew what that phrase meant: a girl or a young, unmarried woman had gotten herself pregnant. She was “in trouble.” She had brought indescribable shame on herself and her family. In those days it was unthinkable that she would have her child and keep it. Instead she had to hide. Most likely she would be sent away to a home for unwed mothers, where she would stay in secrecy until her baby was born and given up for adoption. “Gone to an aunt’s” was the usual cover story, a fiction that everyone understood but no on talked about –until now.
In Gone to an Aunt’s, journalist and long-time television host Anne Petrie takes us back into these homes for unwed mothers. Most cities in Canada had at least one home, several as many as five or six, most of them run by religious organizations. Here, in institutional settings, the girls were kept out of sight until their time was up and they could return to the world as if nothing had happened.
Seven women –including the author – recount their experiences in Gone to an Aunt’s, talking openly, some for the first time, about how they got pregnant; the reaction of their parents, friends, boyfriends, and lovers; why they wound up in a home; and how they managed to cope with its rules and regulations –no last names, no talking about the past –and the promise of salvation that could come only through work and prayer.
Gone to an Aunt’s is a profoundly moving and compassionate –even alarming – account. It comes as a reminder that we not get too wistful for the supposedly innocent times before the sexual revolution. That innocence, Petrie shows vividly, was a charade made believable only because the thousands of girls who had broken the rules were hidden away.
Review: I really enjoyed this book, especially the fact that it came with a Canadian perspective. The idea that being an unwed mother having a baby was so scandalous that you had to be sent away seems so silly now. The authour explains the story of 6 women and their journeys through the homes and system. This has always been a curious subject to me..what were the homes like? What did they do? Didn't anyone notice? The book tackles these questions and more. Unfortunately I did not like the way the story was laid out. I got confused about which girls were where as each chapter focused on a subject rather than a chapter per girl. At times the authour interviewed girls outside of the original 6. I rated the book four out of 5 stars on goodreads. The book has peaked my curiosity and I have been looking more into the subject.
In Gone to an Aunt’s, journalist and long-time television host Anne Petrie takes us back into these homes for unwed mothers. Most cities in Canada had at least one home, several as many as five or six, most of them run by religious organizations. Here, in institutional settings, the girls were kept out of sight until their time was up and they could return to the world as if nothing had happened.
Seven women –including the author – recount their experiences in Gone to an Aunt’s, talking openly, some for the first time, about how they got pregnant; the reaction of their parents, friends, boyfriends, and lovers; why they wound up in a home; and how they managed to cope with its rules and regulations –no last names, no talking about the past –and the promise of salvation that could come only through work and prayer.
Gone to an Aunt’s is a profoundly moving and compassionate –even alarming – account. It comes as a reminder that we not get too wistful for the supposedly innocent times before the sexual revolution. That innocence, Petrie shows vividly, was a charade made believable only because the thousands of girls who had broken the rules were hidden away.
Review: I really enjoyed this book, especially the fact that it came with a Canadian perspective. The idea that being an unwed mother having a baby was so scandalous that you had to be sent away seems so silly now. The authour explains the story of 6 women and their journeys through the homes and system. This has always been a curious subject to me..what were the homes like? What did they do? Didn't anyone notice? The book tackles these questions and more. Unfortunately I did not like the way the story was laid out. I got confused about which girls were where as each chapter focused on a subject rather than a chapter per girl. At times the authour interviewed girls outside of the original 6. I rated the book four out of 5 stars on goodreads. The book has peaked my curiosity and I have been looking more into the subject.
February 8, 2010
A clearly-written, honest book. I respect the author for sharing such a personal story and I learned a lot from her story and those of the other women who shared their experiences. This is a fascinating piece of very recent history that I wish was more documented or at least spoken about more. It is interesting to me that this kind of thing took place less than 100 years ago.
April 22, 2025
This book provided was a good balance between deeply personal and factual information about the experiences of women and girls who went to homes for unwed mothers in Canada in the ‘50s and ‘60s.
For me, it gave me more context for my biological grandmother’s experience—one she did not speak about, or certainly not to her adopted son and his family, at any rate.
It really drove home the deep shame for women and girls who got pregnant out of wedlock in those years, as well as their their complete lack of knowledge about contraception and what the experience of giving birth would even be like. Things I did not consider especially forbidden knowledge growing up going to publicly-funded Catholic schools in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Petrie shared the experiences of utter disrespect toward herself and others who went to these homes by those supposedly caring for them: doctors and nurses caring for their bodies and babies, religious figures caring for their souls, social workers supposedly their to advocate for them, and most often, the men who did not seem to feel much responsibility toward them or the children they helped create.
It’s true that not every person they interacted with treated them horribly, but that’s such a disgracefully low bar.
A nonfiction book written in the late ‘90s can’t help but have some biases that feel very of its time. And yet, here we are, still having to fight to protect contraception and abortion rights, as the author warned 30 years ago. The experiences of the millions of women and girls who went to these homes in Canada and the U.S.—and even the homes’ existence—are a reminder of that repression is not a “solution” to teen pregnancy (if it needs one) and can lead to decades of reverberations of shame and guilt, echoing into many lives in unexpected ways.
For me, it gave me more context for my biological grandmother’s experience—one she did not speak about, or certainly not to her adopted son and his family, at any rate.
It really drove home the deep shame for women and girls who got pregnant out of wedlock in those years, as well as their their complete lack of knowledge about contraception and what the experience of giving birth would even be like. Things I did not consider especially forbidden knowledge growing up going to publicly-funded Catholic schools in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Petrie shared the experiences of utter disrespect toward herself and others who went to these homes by those supposedly caring for them: doctors and nurses caring for their bodies and babies, religious figures caring for their souls, social workers supposedly their to advocate for them, and most often, the men who did not seem to feel much responsibility toward them or the children they helped create.
It’s true that not every person they interacted with treated them horribly, but that’s such a disgracefully low bar.
A nonfiction book written in the late ‘90s can’t help but have some biases that feel very of its time. And yet, here we are, still having to fight to protect contraception and abortion rights, as the author warned 30 years ago. The experiences of the millions of women and girls who went to these homes in Canada and the U.S.—and even the homes’ existence—are a reminder of that repression is not a “solution” to teen pregnancy (if it needs one) and can lead to decades of reverberations of shame and guilt, echoing into many lives in unexpected ways.
January 22, 2018
I loved this book about homes for “unwed mothers” in Canada in the 50s and 60s. Anne Petrie’s journalistic style offered an in-depth look at these homes, told through the stories of women (including herself!) who had been residents in them, all across the country. It was really interesting to see how perspectives on women and sex shaped actions by (primarily) religious groups and how understandings of “charity” and “duty” changed how women were treated in different homes.
October 16, 2021
I found this interesting but it was more of a documentary. I would've liked more details of their experience..
December 3, 2024
Well written and worth reading.
November 25, 2011
Discriptions of life in homes for unwed mothers in the 1950's and 60's. Anne petrie was herself an unwed mother and this with her research into other women's experiences makes a thought provoking read. It is hard to believe in 2011 that that kind of cruelty occurred.
Liz
Liz
August 11, 2007
Fascinating memoir/social history about unmarried motherhood in Canada between the 1950s-1970s.
April 26, 2016
I felt like reading this book after reading Girl Like Us. It made me realize that things had been really rough for Joni Mitchell, an unwed mother in the early 60s.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews