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Alter Arlo
War is coming, but no one knows who the enemy is. In an ungoverned portion of the world after, three communities are on edge. Ruthless, cutthroat, and dangerous, Cadoc and Zade become reluctant allies to stay alive long enough to keep their promises and get the truth. The questions they ask get answers they weren’t prepared for, but lust, attraction, and new brands of love trump their fears and spark new hope. Arlo Thorne might be the name most feared, but he’s not the only threat. A stalker who speaks in riddles. A germaphobe living in a dirty world. A madman with bloody hands. Three leaders at war. Cadoc and Zade have ties to them all. Who will come out the other side and who is the real enemy?
Alter Arlo is an MM dark romance with psychological themes, a dystopian setting, and adult content. Check the warning at the beginning of the book.
Alter Arlo is an MM dark romance with psychological themes, a dystopian setting, and adult content. Check the warning at the beginning of the book.
449 pages, Paperback
First published January 24, 2023
359 people are currently reading
2373 people want to read
About the author
Nordika Night
17 books2,118 followersOpenness. Acceptance. Tolerance. Respect.
Nordika is a coffee-addicted Canadian with a love of the outdoors and the fictional worlds inside books.
Reading is a joy, writing is an adventure, and together, they are an addiction.
Writing mostly MM romance with all the banter, bullish!t and boys!
Working in multiple genres and tropes, Nordika has lots more to come.
Follow on IG: nordikanightauthor
Nordika is a coffee-addicted Canadian with a love of the outdoors and the fictional worlds inside books.
Reading is a joy, writing is an adventure, and together, they are an addiction.
Writing mostly MM romance with all the banter, bullish!t and boys!
Working in multiple genres and tropes, Nordika has lots more to come.
Follow on IG: nordikanightauthor
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 265 reviews
June 7, 2023
✰ 4 stars ✰
“Karma was a bitch, and Fate was a jokester. Those pricks were always shoving us together when we least wanted it, but most needed it.”
I've had Alter Arlo downloaded and ready to read since January; somehow, I just never could find the time to read it. Now, in the efforts to clear my tbr list before my summer reading *pats self on back* I decided to take a chance with Nordika Night again, after her agressively captivating Garron Park. Suffice to say, I didn't recall anything from the blurb or any spoiler I may have read from the reviews shared.
And I am so glad I didn't.
Holy Moly Guacomole! What did I just read?
And I say this with the utmost appreciation, because Holy Hell this was just -- *flails hands in failure* I would think that maybe I would have been smart enough to figure it out, before the reveal - but I was so blindsided, not at all realizing or expecting that twist, which left my head spinning and mind reeling. 😲😲 I had never read something like this before, but the fact that I was already so invested in the story and the character dynamics that I couldn't bring myself to stop reading even if I wanted to. 😭
Y'know, I kept waiting for the two MCs to finally get their groove together - that despite all their misgivings and hatred for each other, they would finally cave for one another.
THAT.DID.NOT.HAPPEN.
What actually happened was so unexpected, so surprisingly twisted and unheard of for me, that I wanted to stop and re-read the blurb to see if I may have missed something. But, nope - I decided to stay completely in the dark about it and continued my ride along this twistedly warped dystopian romance that was depraved and wicked and so utterly bizarre, but somehow, it just worked here.
But in a good way! 😍 Because, it was different - it was addictive - it was dark - like, seriously, if you're gonna give this a chance, please do check out the list of trigger warnings before attempting to read it. A few scenes did leave me slightly queasy and squeamish, but I'm a big girl - I ploughed on - but for those who may be sensitive to certain topics, even if this is a fictional story, please do read them before taking a chance.
“He stared at me, and I stared at him. He wanted to pity me and hate me at the same time, and I wanted to pretend and not pretend that he was his twin. We were both sick over the same situation, both grieving a person who reluctantly joined us together, even if the only thing tying us was Zander’s memory and our hatred.
It was something. It was a tether we despised holding onto but gripped tighter anyway.”
Alternating in perspectives of both Cadoc Dire and Zaden Enge - two young men forced to work together because of the bond that they share over the loss of a loved one - their relationship - it felt explosive, but at the same time, it wasn't.
It was more of the two of them silently screaming their grief over their loss and the only way they could find a way out of it was by hating each other with vehemence. 🥺 And yet, despite all that, despite their fierce reluctance to care for each other, inadvertently they did.
“Being around Zade hurt me, but Keiran just taught me to chase the pain, so maybe I’d be following this fuckwit around for the rest of my miserable life.”
And I appreciated the hell out of that subtlety - that while I kept waiting for that ball to drop - for them to be the intended couple out of this hell - and I waited quite awhile - shockingly that was not the case. Only to realize that the who could pull them out of the darkness - save their souls from sinking even further into loneliness and grief was Arlo.
“For not dying in place of him. I would have if I’d been there on time.”
Jesus fuck. “I’m sorry for not saving him in time. If I’d figured it out a fucking minute sooner…”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” I smoked. “Don’t die now. I can’t…I can’t live in this fucked up world without hating you.”
“So, stop getting fucked up at the lake and trying to drown yourself. I can’t live without hating you either. It’s all I’ve fucking got.”
It was a deal, I supposed. Maybe the second promise of our lives. First to Zan, to protect each other, and now to one another, to let our hate burn fierce, and fuel the fires of our lives. It was enough.”
Cadoc and Zaden were two messed up and broken souls, but how two very significant others came into their lives to bring them out of their shells, was such a high. The intensity and wildness that Cadoc experienced with the impulsively dangerous Kieran was such a vast contrast to the softness and subdued manner in which the smart and cleanliness-obsessed Finnegan treated Zaden with. 👍🏻
But, it was such a well-handled balance between the two - such a difference without even co-existing with one another - and then for their lives to intertwine was the most enlightening highlight of this read - one I won't likely forget my reaction to that plot twist. 💘
I would really have liked to have rated this a little higher; but once again, due to my own personal grievances with the writing, I just couldn't. Nordika Night has unique ideas and the perfect amount of creativity - the work could really just benefit from some fine tune-ups and proper editing. 😔
The world-building setting, itself, also was rather ambiguous and not very much clearly stated - rather, leaving us to just understand that it was a futuristic dystopian world, where harsh times and cruel crimes was the way of living, fueled by violence and ruled with rage and ill-will. So, I didn't mind how rough-edged and abrasive the dialogue was at times, because, 'hey, let's face it'; considering their lifestyles, anyone would be as vulgar and crude as they were - both in their work departments and their romance styles, as well. 😊
“Two tortured souls,” his voice echoed around us. I could barely see the silhouette of Zade, but as my eyes adjusted, I saw the glistening moisture in his eyes. “One afraid of his past and one afraid of his future. Both stuck in grief over the same ghost.”
The sex scenes were - as sinfully hot as they were, they were also depravingly so - drawn by this intense feeling to hurt and claim and change the outset of life, which really was the sole purpose of the romantic partners appearance - one you'll understand once you read it. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 I also have to admit that I did not care much for the MF storyline - it felt rather off-kilter and a little too distasteful in my opinion, but if some readers don't find it too offensive, then I suppose it'll work for them. 🤷
And when all was said and done, I realized that I had a good time with this - it may have not been what I usually tend to read, but I give major kudos and props to the author for spinning the tale the way that it was. 🩶🤍 For someone to truly appreciate the suspense and surprises, I definitely recommend going into this without any knowledge of what to expect. For then, you'll be in store for some whirlwind of moments that will leave you howling at the moon in both shock and appreciation - iykyk 😉
“Karma was a bitch, and Fate was a jokester. Those pricks were always shoving us together when we least wanted it, but most needed it.”
I've had Alter Arlo downloaded and ready to read since January; somehow, I just never could find the time to read it. Now, in the efforts to clear my tbr list before my summer reading *pats self on back* I decided to take a chance with Nordika Night again, after her agressively captivating Garron Park. Suffice to say, I didn't recall anything from the blurb or any spoiler I may have read from the reviews shared.
And I am so glad I didn't.
Holy Moly Guacomole! What did I just read?
And I say this with the utmost appreciation, because Holy Hell this was just -- *flails hands in failure* I would think that maybe I would have been smart enough to figure it out, before the reveal - but I was so blindsided, not at all realizing or expecting that twist, which left my head spinning and mind reeling. 😲😲 I had never read something like this before, but the fact that I was already so invested in the story and the character dynamics that I couldn't bring myself to stop reading even if I wanted to. 😭
Y'know, I kept waiting for the two MCs to finally get their groove together - that despite all their misgivings and hatred for each other, they would finally cave for one another.
THAT.DID.NOT.HAPPEN.
What actually happened was so unexpected, so surprisingly twisted and unheard of for me, that I wanted to stop and re-read the blurb to see if I may have missed something. But, nope - I decided to stay completely in the dark about it and continued my ride along this twistedly warped dystopian romance that was depraved and wicked and so utterly bizarre, but somehow, it just worked here.
But in a good way! 😍 Because, it was different - it was addictive - it was dark - like, seriously, if you're gonna give this a chance, please do check out the list of trigger warnings before attempting to read it. A few scenes did leave me slightly queasy and squeamish, but I'm a big girl - I ploughed on - but for those who may be sensitive to certain topics, even if this is a fictional story, please do read them before taking a chance.
“He stared at me, and I stared at him. He wanted to pity me and hate me at the same time, and I wanted to pretend and not pretend that he was his twin. We were both sick over the same situation, both grieving a person who reluctantly joined us together, even if the only thing tying us was Zander’s memory and our hatred.
It was something. It was a tether we despised holding onto but gripped tighter anyway.”
Alternating in perspectives of both Cadoc Dire and Zaden Enge - two young men forced to work together because of the bond that they share over the loss of a loved one - their relationship - it felt explosive, but at the same time, it wasn't.
It was more of the two of them silently screaming their grief over their loss and the only way they could find a way out of it was by hating each other with vehemence. 🥺 And yet, despite all that, despite their fierce reluctance to care for each other, inadvertently they did.
“Being around Zade hurt me, but Keiran just taught me to chase the pain, so maybe I’d be following this fuckwit around for the rest of my miserable life.”
And I appreciated the hell out of that subtlety - that while I kept waiting for that ball to drop - for them to be the intended couple out of this hell - and I waited quite awhile - shockingly that was not the case. Only to realize that the who could pull them out of the darkness - save their souls from sinking even further into loneliness and grief was Arlo.
“For not dying in place of him. I would have if I’d been there on time.”
Jesus fuck. “I’m sorry for not saving him in time. If I’d figured it out a fucking minute sooner…”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” I smoked. “Don’t die now. I can’t…I can’t live in this fucked up world without hating you.”
“So, stop getting fucked up at the lake and trying to drown yourself. I can’t live without hating you either. It’s all I’ve fucking got.”
It was a deal, I supposed. Maybe the second promise of our lives. First to Zan, to protect each other, and now to one another, to let our hate burn fierce, and fuel the fires of our lives. It was enough.”
Cadoc and Zaden were two messed up and broken souls, but how two very significant others came into their lives to bring them out of their shells, was such a high. The intensity and wildness that Cadoc experienced with the impulsively dangerous Kieran was such a vast contrast to the softness and subdued manner in which the smart and cleanliness-obsessed Finnegan treated Zaden with. 👍🏻
But, it was such a well-handled balance between the two - such a difference without even co-existing with one another - and then for their lives to intertwine was the most enlightening highlight of this read - one I won't likely forget my reaction to that plot twist. 💘
I would really have liked to have rated this a little higher; but once again, due to my own personal grievances with the writing, I just couldn't. Nordika Night has unique ideas and the perfect amount of creativity - the work could really just benefit from some fine tune-ups and proper editing. 😔
The world-building setting, itself, also was rather ambiguous and not very much clearly stated - rather, leaving us to just understand that it was a futuristic dystopian world, where harsh times and cruel crimes was the way of living, fueled by violence and ruled with rage and ill-will. So, I didn't mind how rough-edged and abrasive the dialogue was at times, because, 'hey, let's face it'; considering their lifestyles, anyone would be as vulgar and crude as they were - both in their work departments and their romance styles, as well. 😊
“Two tortured souls,” his voice echoed around us. I could barely see the silhouette of Zade, but as my eyes adjusted, I saw the glistening moisture in his eyes. “One afraid of his past and one afraid of his future. Both stuck in grief over the same ghost.”
The sex scenes were - as sinfully hot as they were, they were also depravingly so - drawn by this intense feeling to hurt and claim and change the outset of life, which really was the sole purpose of the romantic partners appearance - one you'll understand once you read it. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 I also have to admit that I did not care much for the MF storyline - it felt rather off-kilter and a little too distasteful in my opinion, but if some readers don't find it too offensive, then I suppose it'll work for them. 🤷
And when all was said and done, I realized that I had a good time with this - it may have not been what I usually tend to read, but I give major kudos and props to the author for spinning the tale the way that it was. 🩶🤍 For someone to truly appreciate the suspense and surprises, I definitely recommend going into this without any knowledge of what to expect. For then, you'll be in store for some whirlwind of moments that will leave you howling at the moon in both shock and appreciation - iykyk 😉
January 30, 2023
”Arlo was evil, and he was casual as fuck about it.”
Yesss.
Nordika Night’s characters never fail to fascinate me or make me love them. Whether they are good, bad, morally grey or anywhere else on the spectrum.
The plot, the characters, all unique. To be in her brain….🤯
Bits of information are revealed at a time so you are constantly kept on your toes. Not a moment drags in this book.
Best to go in with the least amount of knowledge about the book. YOU WILL BE TAKEN FOR A RIDE EITHER WAY and then you might need a bath. Standing ovation. 👏
Oh yeah and Kieran, I am obsessed with you 🖤
My highlights may contain spoilers
See CWs - it’s dark
Yesss.
Nordika Night’s characters never fail to fascinate me or make me love them. Whether they are good, bad, morally grey or anywhere else on the spectrum.
The plot, the characters, all unique. To be in her brain….🤯
Bits of information are revealed at a time so you are constantly kept on your toes. Not a moment drags in this book.
Best to go in with the least amount of knowledge about the book. YOU WILL BE TAKEN FOR A RIDE EITHER WAY and then you might need a bath. Standing ovation. 👏
Oh yeah and Kieran, I am obsessed with you 🖤
My highlights may contain spoilers
See CWs - it’s dark
![Profile Image for Lilly [Hiatus due to School] .](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1663899589i%2F10381707._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
January 25, 2023
Alter Arlo was a very interesting and different read from, at least, the most recent books I have read. I went into it without expectations, as this author is new to me. I enjoy a good dystopian and dark story, so this book definitely caught my interest.
Where to start? This book had me guessing. I am the type who likes to work out the plot, and even if I see a twist coming, it doesn’t take away from it because, to be honest, a good writer lays down the groundwork and has foreshadowing elements. A twist can not come out of nowhere and be totally left field. However, with Alter Arlo, even though I should have made the connections, I did not. I had a stupid smile and literally put my kindle down to let it sink in.
This story managed to keep me engaged right to the end! I do not want to go too deep into the plot because it will give it away, I think it is best to go in blind.
The relationships between Cadoc and Zade, Zade/Fin and Cadoc and Keiran were all amazing. I honestly felt for them all.
There were two issues I had with the story. First, I wish we had more of an understanding of why the world is the way it is. It only vaguely alludes to it. It would have added to the story.
The second was Lowell. I honestly saw no real need or benefit to her character in the story. I can see what the author was trying to do, but the story would have still worked and been just as fine without her POVs.
Overall I enjoyed Alter Arlo! Nordika Night is new to me author who I will be keeping tabs on their works! Please do check TWs, while it is not dark dark (at least in my opinion) this story deals with many heavy topics and themes.
Where to start? This book had me guessing. I am the type who likes to work out the plot, and even if I see a twist coming, it doesn’t take away from it because, to be honest, a good writer lays down the groundwork and has foreshadowing elements. A twist can not come out of nowhere and be totally left field. However, with Alter Arlo, even though I should have made the connections, I did not. I had a stupid smile and literally put my kindle down to let it sink in.
This story managed to keep me engaged right to the end! I do not want to go too deep into the plot because it will give it away, I think it is best to go in blind.
The relationships between Cadoc and Zade, Zade/Fin and Cadoc and Keiran were all amazing. I honestly felt for them all.
There were two issues I had with the story. First, I wish we had more of an understanding of why the world is the way it is. It only vaguely alludes to it. It would have added to the story.
The second was Lowell. I honestly saw no real need or benefit to her character in the story. I can see what the author was trying to do, but the story would have still worked and been just as fine without her POVs.
Overall I enjoyed Alter Arlo! Nordika Night is new to me author who I will be keeping tabs on their works! Please do check TWs, while it is not dark dark (at least in my opinion) this story deals with many heavy topics and themes.
February 15, 2024
"Good and bad are subjective. Good people do bad things for good reasons. Bad people do bad things for reasons that are good to them."
No one knows who the enemy is.
No one knows who to trust.
Three leaders at war.
And at the center?
Cadoc Dire and Zaden Enge.
Connected in more ways than one?
But is the enemy really the enemy?
Or is there more to this world than they could have ever imagined?
"Two tortured souls. One afraid of his past and one afraid of his future. Both stuck in grief over the same ghost."
Wow.
I legit have no words for this book but this is me after all so of course I have words.
First this is definitely a book you need to experience because it was A RIDE!!
There was so much story and so much going on that you couldn't not be sucked into the book.
I am not going to spoil a lot because again it is definitely an experience.
But Cadoc and Zaden were amazing. Kiernan was awesome! Finn has a special place in my heart and even Arlo was creeping in there not gonna lie.
"I couldn't let him give up, because if he gave up, I'd give up."
This is set in a dystopian world with three leaders at war and Cadoc and Zade in the middle. Cadoc was Zade's twin brother's boyfriend and Zade kind of blames Cadoc for his death. And this gives their relationship a tension that you are never really %100 sure if it's actually hate. It's best described as tension and honestly I think it's the word that fits the best. Like this book review vague but once you read the book it makes more sense 🤣🤣
Now of course I cried. I legit had to put down the book when the twist happened and take a break because my heart broke!! Now it was a short break but a break nevertheless!
Anyway READ THIS BOOK!! Your mind will be tampered with but it is so worth it!!
"To experience safety, you must first know danger. To understand sanity, you must experience insanity. To know bravery, you must conquer fear."
This playlist is giving dystopian dark romance so we're good to go 😇😇
(Link - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2kz... )
🎶 "Playground" - Bea Miller
🎶 "MACHINE" - Neoni
🎶 "Start a War" - Klergy, Valerie Broussard
🎶 "I Want Out" - LOWBORN
🎶 "Thank You For Hating Me" - Citizen Soldier
🎶 "In The End" - Black Veil Brides
🎶 "And So It Went" - The Pretty Reckless, Tom Morello
🎶 "bad decisions" - Bad Omens
🎶 "Bodies" - Drowning Pool
🎶 "VICES" - MOTHICA
🎶 "War Pigs" - T-Pain
🎶 "Sorry About Your Parents" - Icon For Hire
🎶 "My Last Breath" - Evanescence
🎶 "Going Under" - Evanescence
🎶 "True Friends" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Sucker For Pain" - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign
🎶 "Seven Nation Army" - Stevie Howie
🎶 "Run Boy Run" - Woodkid
🎶 "Sharks" - Imagine Dragons
🎶 "If You Have My Voodoo Doll, Give Me A Hug" - Loveless
🎶 "Alone Together" - Fall Out Boy
🎶 "Pointless" - Lewis Capaldi
🎶 "The Ancient Art Of Always Fucking Up" - Lewis Capaldi
🎶 "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" - Lorde
🎶 "Chasing Shadows" - Alex Warren
🎶 "Fake Fiction" - Picturesque
🎶 "Mad World" - Demi Lovato
🎶 "Like A Villain" - Bad Omens
🎶 "Lose Control" - Teddy Swims
🎶 "stalker" - Stevie Howie
🎶 "Panic Room" - Au/Ra
🎶 "Fallin' (Adrenaline)" - Why Don't We
🎶 "Haunting Me" - Loveless
🎶 "Chokehold" - Sleep Token
🎶 "Dig The Crazy" - Faith Marie
🎶 "MANTRA" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Taste" - Ari Abdul
🎶 "Elastic Heart - Rock Version" - Written By Wolves
🎶 "Numb" - Linkin Park
🎶 "Le Monde" - Richard Carter
🎶 "Trouble" - Valerie Broussard
🎶 "Beg" - Aryia
🎶 "Chemical" - Post Malone
🎶 "Psychofreak" - Rain Paris
🎶 "Stop, I'm Already Dead" - Deadboy & The Elephantmen
🎶 "I Want It All" - Cameron Grey
🎶 "All I Wanted" - Paramore
🎶 "Chains" - Nick Jonas
🎶 "Water Fountain" - Alec Benjamin
🎶 "Freak" - Letdown.
🎶 "Savage" - Bahari
🎶 "die first" - Nessa Barrett
🎶 "Invisible Battles" - Carolina Rial
🎶 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎶 "Ghost" - Badflower
🎶 "Everything Black" - Unlike Pluto, Mike Taylor
🎶 "Pain" - Jake Daniels
🎶 "Before You Go" - No Resolve, Katey x Krista
🎶 "feel something" - Bea Miller
🎶 "Someone You Loved" - Our Last Night, I See Stars, The Word Alive, Ashland
🎶 "Set Fire To The Rain" - SYCAMOUR
🎶 "fleabag" - YUNGBLUD
🎶 "Toxic" - A Static Lullaby
🎶 "As The World Caves In (Violin)" - Joel Sunny
🎶 "You Found Me" - The Fray
🎶 "Wreak Havoc" - Skylar Grey
🎶 "Cradles" - Sub Urban
🎶 "Degenerates" - A Day To Remember
🎶 "Shatter" - Maggie Rogers
🎶 "Drag Me Down" - Loveless
And maybe a little something extra…
"I loved it. I want it again. I want more."
"Because I am your poison, Cadoc Dire. And he is the antivenom to my lethal dose."
🚬 Tropes 🚬
🌊 MM Romance (2 Couples)
🌊 Dystopian World
🌊 Stalker
🌊 Frenemies
🌊 Wait for the twist…
Book edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C3Vp3M-LiOx/
No one knows who the enemy is.
No one knows who to trust.
Three leaders at war.
And at the center?
Cadoc Dire and Zaden Enge.
Connected in more ways than one?
But is the enemy really the enemy?
Or is there more to this world than they could have ever imagined?
"Two tortured souls. One afraid of his past and one afraid of his future. Both stuck in grief over the same ghost."
Wow.
I legit have no words for this book but this is me after all so of course I have words.
First this is definitely a book you need to experience because it was A RIDE!!
There was so much story and so much going on that you couldn't not be sucked into the book.
I am not going to spoil a lot because again it is definitely an experience.
But Cadoc and Zaden were amazing. Kiernan was awesome! Finn has a special place in my heart and even Arlo was creeping in there not gonna lie.
"I couldn't let him give up, because if he gave up, I'd give up."
This is set in a dystopian world with three leaders at war and Cadoc and Zade in the middle. Cadoc was Zade's twin brother's boyfriend and Zade kind of blames Cadoc for his death. And this gives their relationship a tension that you are never really %100 sure if it's actually hate. It's best described as tension and honestly I think it's the word that fits the best. Like this book review vague but once you read the book it makes more sense 🤣🤣
Now of course I cried. I legit had to put down the book when the twist happened and take a break because my heart broke!! Now it was a short break but a break nevertheless!
Anyway READ THIS BOOK!! Your mind will be tampered with but it is so worth it!!
"To experience safety, you must first know danger. To understand sanity, you must experience insanity. To know bravery, you must conquer fear."
This playlist is giving dystopian dark romance so we're good to go 😇😇
(Link - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2kz... )
🎶 "Playground" - Bea Miller
🎶 "MACHINE" - Neoni
🎶 "Start a War" - Klergy, Valerie Broussard
🎶 "I Want Out" - LOWBORN
🎶 "Thank You For Hating Me" - Citizen Soldier
🎶 "In The End" - Black Veil Brides
🎶 "And So It Went" - The Pretty Reckless, Tom Morello
🎶 "bad decisions" - Bad Omens
🎶 "Bodies" - Drowning Pool
🎶 "VICES" - MOTHICA
🎶 "War Pigs" - T-Pain
🎶 "Sorry About Your Parents" - Icon For Hire
🎶 "My Last Breath" - Evanescence
🎶 "Going Under" - Evanescence
🎶 "True Friends" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Sucker For Pain" - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign
🎶 "Seven Nation Army" - Stevie Howie
🎶 "Run Boy Run" - Woodkid
🎶 "Sharks" - Imagine Dragons
🎶 "If You Have My Voodoo Doll, Give Me A Hug" - Loveless
🎶 "Alone Together" - Fall Out Boy
🎶 "Pointless" - Lewis Capaldi
🎶 "The Ancient Art Of Always Fucking Up" - Lewis Capaldi
🎶 "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" - Lorde
🎶 "Chasing Shadows" - Alex Warren
🎶 "Fake Fiction" - Picturesque
🎶 "Mad World" - Demi Lovato
🎶 "Like A Villain" - Bad Omens
🎶 "Lose Control" - Teddy Swims
🎶 "stalker" - Stevie Howie
🎶 "Panic Room" - Au/Ra
🎶 "Fallin' (Adrenaline)" - Why Don't We
🎶 "Haunting Me" - Loveless
🎶 "Chokehold" - Sleep Token
🎶 "Dig The Crazy" - Faith Marie
🎶 "MANTRA" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Taste" - Ari Abdul
🎶 "Elastic Heart - Rock Version" - Written By Wolves
🎶 "Numb" - Linkin Park
🎶 "Le Monde" - Richard Carter
🎶 "Trouble" - Valerie Broussard
🎶 "Beg" - Aryia
🎶 "Chemical" - Post Malone
🎶 "Psychofreak" - Rain Paris
🎶 "Stop, I'm Already Dead" - Deadboy & The Elephantmen
🎶 "I Want It All" - Cameron Grey
🎶 "All I Wanted" - Paramore
🎶 "Chains" - Nick Jonas
🎶 "Water Fountain" - Alec Benjamin
🎶 "Freak" - Letdown.
🎶 "Savage" - Bahari
🎶 "die first" - Nessa Barrett
🎶 "Invisible Battles" - Carolina Rial
🎶 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎶 "Ghost" - Badflower
🎶 "Everything Black" - Unlike Pluto, Mike Taylor
🎶 "Pain" - Jake Daniels
🎶 "Before You Go" - No Resolve, Katey x Krista
🎶 "feel something" - Bea Miller
🎶 "Someone You Loved" - Our Last Night, I See Stars, The Word Alive, Ashland
🎶 "Set Fire To The Rain" - SYCAMOUR
🎶 "fleabag" - YUNGBLUD
🎶 "Toxic" - A Static Lullaby
🎶 "As The World Caves In (Violin)" - Joel Sunny
🎶 "You Found Me" - The Fray
🎶 "Wreak Havoc" - Skylar Grey
🎶 "Cradles" - Sub Urban
🎶 "Degenerates" - A Day To Remember
🎶 "Shatter" - Maggie Rogers
🎶 "Drag Me Down" - Loveless
And maybe a little something extra…
"I loved it. I want it again. I want more."
"Because I am your poison, Cadoc Dire. And he is the antivenom to my lethal dose."
🚬 Tropes 🚬
🌊 MM Romance (2 Couples)
🌊 Dystopian World
🌊 Stalker
🌊 Frenemies
🌊 Wait for the twist…
Book edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C3Vp3M-LiOx/
June 15, 2024
"Being in the shadows was different; it was like peering into the light, wishing you were standing in it but not knowing how to get out from under the statue that created your shadow."
I totally bloody loved this. Alter Arlo is dark romance at its finest.
Spellbinding, dystopian mind games.
Amazing world building.
Steamy AF.
Dark, dark, dark. 🖤
Bravo Nordika Night!
5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I totally bloody loved this. Alter Arlo is dark romance at its finest.
Spellbinding, dystopian mind games.
Amazing world building.
Steamy AF.
Dark, dark, dark. 🖤
Bravo Nordika Night!
5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
January 18, 2023
"We were two pin-pricked voodoo dolls tied together, feeling each other's pain in different places. "
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Multiple POVs
HEA: HFN
Spice Rating: 4/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
First and foremost, this book is VERY dark and dystopian, and not like anything else out there so please heed the trigger warnings! This was like absolutely nothing like anything I have read before, and it absolutely blew me away. It was so perfectly written it could not have been done better, and will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew at the end. I don't want to spoil the book so I won't say much but the plot, the characters, the writing, was all *chefs kiss* and the twist at the end left me wondering what on earth did I read!! It was spicy but it was also heartbreakingly emotional and made me cry several times, hurting so much for the characters. Overall I can't stop thinking about this book and it's characters, and I hope everyone who reads it loves it as much as I did!
Read if you like:
❣️ M/M Romance
❣️ Dark
❣️ Dystopian Setting
❣️ Spice Galore
❣️ Cutthroat World
❣️ Unexpected Twists
Trigger and Content Warnings: Psychological themes, dub-con, non-con, captive situations, violence, harmful thoughts, drug use, r*pe of a side character, drinking, smoking, blood, abuse, mental health, grief, traumatic past, dystopian setting.
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Multiple POVs
HEA: HFN
Spice Rating: 4/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
First and foremost, this book is VERY dark and dystopian, and not like anything else out there so please heed the trigger warnings! This was like absolutely nothing like anything I have read before, and it absolutely blew me away. It was so perfectly written it could not have been done better, and will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew at the end. I don't want to spoil the book so I won't say much but the plot, the characters, the writing, was all *chefs kiss* and the twist at the end left me wondering what on earth did I read!! It was spicy but it was also heartbreakingly emotional and made me cry several times, hurting so much for the characters. Overall I can't stop thinking about this book and it's characters, and I hope everyone who reads it loves it as much as I did!
Read if you like:
❣️ M/M Romance
❣️ Dark
❣️ Dystopian Setting
❣️ Spice Galore
❣️ Cutthroat World
❣️ Unexpected Twists
Trigger and Content Warnings: Psychological themes, dub-con, non-con, captive situations, violence, harmful thoughts, drug use, r*pe of a side character, drinking, smoking, blood, abuse, mental health, grief, traumatic past, dystopian setting.
February 5, 2023
I'm not sure if I like how this ended or not!
I saw the twist coming and really enjoyed it, but the relationship I wanted to see didn't happen. 🤦🏻♀️
Definitely an entertaining read though, and pretty different to everything else I've read lately.
I saw the twist coming and really enjoyed it, but the relationship I wanted to see didn't happen. 🤦🏻♀️
Definitely an entertaining read though, and pretty different to everything else I've read lately.
February 23, 2026
Why isn’t everyone raving about this? Seriously. How is it even possible Nordika Night calls Alter Arlo her least popular book when it’s doing things that are genuinely smarter, sharper, and more structurally satisfying than half the “hyped” dark romances I see everywhere. Because this isn’t just a dark MM romance with a dystopian coat of paint. This is a book that understands pacing like a weapon. It understands grief and trauma like a living organism. And it understands how to plant a sentence in Chapter X that looks like throwaway grit… and then later you realise it was a loaded gun sitting on the table the whole effing time.
Even if you think you’ve figured out what the plot is “about” (or you think you’ve caught one of the big reveals early), it still keeps delivering details you haven’t seen before. Not gimmicky “gotcha” twists, but those “oh… oh no, that’s been there the entire time” kinds of reveals. The kind that make you go back in your head and rewatch scenes with entirely different emotional lighting. I was hooked throughout. Like, the kind of hooked where you’re telling yourself “just one more chapter” and then you’re suddenly sitting in the dark with your jaw clenched because a character said something simple, and it snapped an entire pattern into place.
The world itself is one of my favourite parts, because it’s post-apocalyptic without being the usual aesthetic checklist. Genesis, Red River, Pike Valley — the politics are messy, the alliances are unstable, and the war feels like it’s glitching. It stops and starts, changes direction, contradicts itself, confuses the characters and the reader in the exact same breath. And instead of that feeling like weak plotting, it feels like the point: nobody knows who the villain is. Nobody even knows what “side” means any more. It’s paranoia as a setting. It’s survival as a constant misread of information. And that becomes the real horror: not just violence, but uncertainty, like the sense that the ground rules are shifting while you’re standing on them!
And then the book goes and threads that external chaos straight into internal chaos, without ever making it feel like two different stories.
The leitmotifs are doing heavy lifting in a way that feels almost unfairly good. The cigarettes aren’t just cigarettes, they’re coping, connection, ritual, a way to keep your hands busy when your mind is a crime scene. The paint and masks aren’t just aesthetics, they’re identity, armour, performance, a way to be seen and not seen at the same time. Light and darkness aren’t just vibes, they’re literal survival mechanics and psychological states. Cages aren’t just cages, they’re the sick question the book keeps asking: what if captivity feels safer than freedom? What if comfort is the most dangerous thing because it trains you to stop fighting? And the constant language of chasing… chasing pain, chasing fear, chasing chaos… isn’t edgy writing. It’s a profound concept. A fucked up one, sometimes, but coherent. This book is obsessed with what people do with trauma: do they swallow it, weaponise it, ritualise it, turn it into religion, turn it into love, turn it into control?
Which brings me to Cadoc and Zaden, because their relationship is the emotional spine of this whole thing, and I need people to stop flattening it into “they bicker but care.” No, it’s grief turned into a bond you can’t cut without bleeding out. It’s loyalty that’s half promise, half punishment. They move through this world like two jagged edges forced to fit because the alternative is losing the last thread connecting them to someone they both loved. The way they read each other, needle each other, threaten each other, cover for each other…this is a form of devotion that tastes like resentment, but it is protection that sometimes looks like cruelty because tenderness would crack them open. And what makes it hit is that the book never pretends that kind of bond is pretty. It’s functional. It’s necessary. It’s complicated.
I also loved how this story handles intimacy and vulnerability without making it tidy or “healing-coded” in a comforting way. People in this world don’t get to heal in a quiet, gentle arc. They get patched together mid-war. They get moments—fractured, stolen, messy—where something human leaks through. And sometimes those moments are tender, and sometimes they’re terrifying, because this book is brutally honest about how trauma can warp the shape of desire, the shape of safety, the shape of connection. (And yes: check content warnings. This is dark. It goes places. It is not asking permission.)
What really impressed me is how often this book uses information as a pressure point. Who knows what, who shouldn’t know what, what happens when you know too much, what happens when you know the wrong thing at the wrong time. Notes hidden in bricks. Keys passed in silence. Maps that feel like prophecy. People saying “trust me” while withholding the exact detail that would make trust possible. And somehow it doesn’t feel like cheap secrecy-for-plot. It feels like a world where information literally gets people killed, and everyone’s trying to decide whether withholding is protection or betrayal. The ethical tension of that is constant and delicious.
And through all of it, the characterisation stays sharp. People aren’t just “the crazy one” or “the Stoic one” or “the leader.” They’re contradictions that make sense. There are chapters where someone says something that feels almost random in the moment, and later you realise it wasn’t random at all. It was character truth disguised as noise. That’s the kind of writing I respect, especially in a genre space where a lot of books rely on vibe alone.
So yeah. Five stars, easily. Not because it’s fun dark or because the twists are flashy (though the twists are insane), but because it’s crafted! Because it knows what it’s doing with motif, atmosphere, and psychology. Because it’s dystopian in the sense that the world is broken, but it’s also dystopian in the sense that the characters’ inner worlds are broken in matching shapes. Because it can be ominous and brutal and still land emotional precision. Because it makes loyalty feel like a blade you hold by the wrong end and keep holding anyway.
If this is Nordika Night’s “least popular,” then honestly? The math isn’t mathing 🤷🏻♀️
Even if you think you’ve figured out what the plot is “about” (or you think you’ve caught one of the big reveals early), it still keeps delivering details you haven’t seen before. Not gimmicky “gotcha” twists, but those “oh… oh no, that’s been there the entire time” kinds of reveals. The kind that make you go back in your head and rewatch scenes with entirely different emotional lighting. I was hooked throughout. Like, the kind of hooked where you’re telling yourself “just one more chapter” and then you’re suddenly sitting in the dark with your jaw clenched because a character said something simple, and it snapped an entire pattern into place.
The world itself is one of my favourite parts, because it’s post-apocalyptic without being the usual aesthetic checklist. Genesis, Red River, Pike Valley — the politics are messy, the alliances are unstable, and the war feels like it’s glitching. It stops and starts, changes direction, contradicts itself, confuses the characters and the reader in the exact same breath. And instead of that feeling like weak plotting, it feels like the point: nobody knows who the villain is. Nobody even knows what “side” means any more. It’s paranoia as a setting. It’s survival as a constant misread of information. And that becomes the real horror: not just violence, but uncertainty, like the sense that the ground rules are shifting while you’re standing on them!
And then the book goes and threads that external chaos straight into internal chaos, without ever making it feel like two different stories.
The leitmotifs are doing heavy lifting in a way that feels almost unfairly good. The cigarettes aren’t just cigarettes, they’re coping, connection, ritual, a way to keep your hands busy when your mind is a crime scene. The paint and masks aren’t just aesthetics, they’re identity, armour, performance, a way to be seen and not seen at the same time. Light and darkness aren’t just vibes, they’re literal survival mechanics and psychological states. Cages aren’t just cages, they’re the sick question the book keeps asking: what if captivity feels safer than freedom? What if comfort is the most dangerous thing because it trains you to stop fighting? And the constant language of chasing… chasing pain, chasing fear, chasing chaos… isn’t edgy writing. It’s a profound concept. A fucked up one, sometimes, but coherent. This book is obsessed with what people do with trauma: do they swallow it, weaponise it, ritualise it, turn it into religion, turn it into love, turn it into control?
Which brings me to Cadoc and Zaden, because their relationship is the emotional spine of this whole thing, and I need people to stop flattening it into “they bicker but care.” No, it’s grief turned into a bond you can’t cut without bleeding out. It’s loyalty that’s half promise, half punishment. They move through this world like two jagged edges forced to fit because the alternative is losing the last thread connecting them to someone they both loved. The way they read each other, needle each other, threaten each other, cover for each other…this is a form of devotion that tastes like resentment, but it is protection that sometimes looks like cruelty because tenderness would crack them open. And what makes it hit is that the book never pretends that kind of bond is pretty. It’s functional. It’s necessary. It’s complicated.
I also loved how this story handles intimacy and vulnerability without making it tidy or “healing-coded” in a comforting way. People in this world don’t get to heal in a quiet, gentle arc. They get patched together mid-war. They get moments—fractured, stolen, messy—where something human leaks through. And sometimes those moments are tender, and sometimes they’re terrifying, because this book is brutally honest about how trauma can warp the shape of desire, the shape of safety, the shape of connection. (And yes: check content warnings. This is dark. It goes places. It is not asking permission.)
What really impressed me is how often this book uses information as a pressure point. Who knows what, who shouldn’t know what, what happens when you know too much, what happens when you know the wrong thing at the wrong time. Notes hidden in bricks. Keys passed in silence. Maps that feel like prophecy. People saying “trust me” while withholding the exact detail that would make trust possible. And somehow it doesn’t feel like cheap secrecy-for-plot. It feels like a world where information literally gets people killed, and everyone’s trying to decide whether withholding is protection or betrayal. The ethical tension of that is constant and delicious.
And through all of it, the characterisation stays sharp. People aren’t just “the crazy one” or “the Stoic one” or “the leader.” They’re contradictions that make sense. There are chapters where someone says something that feels almost random in the moment, and later you realise it wasn’t random at all. It was character truth disguised as noise. That’s the kind of writing I respect, especially in a genre space where a lot of books rely on vibe alone.
So yeah. Five stars, easily. Not because it’s fun dark or because the twists are flashy (though the twists are insane), but because it’s crafted! Because it knows what it’s doing with motif, atmosphere, and psychology. Because it’s dystopian in the sense that the world is broken, but it’s also dystopian in the sense that the characters’ inner worlds are broken in matching shapes. Because it can be ominous and brutal and still land emotional precision. Because it makes loyalty feel like a blade you hold by the wrong end and keep holding anyway.
If this is Nordika Night’s “least popular,” then honestly? The math isn’t mathing 🤷🏻♀️
June 22, 2023
3.5 ⭐️
Worldbuilding is vague, convoluted, and inconsistent. (Small example: Arlo says cigarettes are rare right in the beginning, but then proceeds to smoke like an absolute chimney and is consistently being supplied with brand new packs. How?) This is a post-apocalypse type setting, but I have no clue how we ended up here. It’s usually generally referred to simply as “when the world changed” and there’s mentions of wars and uprisings, I think there was something with viruses at one point so maybe a pandemic? Idk. And I think the current state of the world is only two years old? Maybe? Seriously, don’t ask me anything about the world.
Writing leans into constant melodrama, often edgy for edgy’s sake, and very repetitive, especially when it comes to Cadoc and Keiran’s dialogue. Descriptions are lacking when it comes to action, there’s lots of holes which make visualizing a scene choppy and difficult. (The scene in the sewers with Cadoc, Keiran, and Zade was particularly a nightmare to try to envision because it’s just nonsensical. Kinda hot, but mostly nonsense.)
Its portrayal of DID is pretty much the Split treatment; I appreciated its effort to be self-aware (Zade stating that the notion of “evil alters” being Hollywood bullshit) but I found its attempt at a loophole to be unsatisfying and the overall portrayal still largely inaccurate. (Take my assessment with a grain of salt as the extent of my knowledge is limited to systems that I follow on Youtube.)
And I know MM romance is not generally the place to have high expectations for female characters, but I was still disappointed all the same. I’m completely choosing to ignore Lowell’s chapters, which is especially sad when she’s 1/3 of the women in this book and the only woman with a POV, but what the author seemed to want to do with her storyline didn’t get the attention or nuance that I needed for it to work for me, the reactions from other characters towards it were not it, and I think her part in the story was entirely unnecessary.
So I know, this is a lot of complaining for something I’m rating on the better side of average… But this also supplied me with easily one of my favorite couples ever. Zade and Finn are 🔥🔥🔥 and I’d give their scenes ALL of the peppers. Chapter 16 is a particular favorite of mine. (And especially fresh off my disappointment with Ten Count, they hit hard because THIS is how I want to see the seduction of a germaphobe.) I almost considered rounding up to 4 stars even, entirely due to how much I love their story together, but by the time I got to the latter half, I realized I was largely skimming just to get to their parts and I had to admit they’re the only things I was invested in, which.. is just not the way I want to read a book, so rounding down it is. 😅
Overall it does have a lot of things that do hit me in the guilty pleasures— Rough and tortured men with lots of scars and lots of leather, men who hate to love each other, the ghosts of dead loved ones, a weird stalker in skull face paint that’s always inexplicably happening to pop up, sex and violence and obsession and jealousy and insecurity and adrenaline and etc etc. Just fun times. So I’d say… potentially worth a shot, especially if you’re already familiar with dark romance (which I’m not so maybe that contributed to my struggle at parts), even though my motive in any recommending I do is purely just because I want more people to know Zade and Finn.
Worldbuilding is vague, convoluted, and inconsistent. (Small example: Arlo says cigarettes are rare right in the beginning, but then proceeds to smoke like an absolute chimney and is consistently being supplied with brand new packs. How?) This is a post-apocalypse type setting, but I have no clue how we ended up here. It’s usually generally referred to simply as “when the world changed” and there’s mentions of wars and uprisings, I think there was something with viruses at one point so maybe a pandemic? Idk. And I think the current state of the world is only two years old? Maybe? Seriously, don’t ask me anything about the world.
Writing leans into constant melodrama, often edgy for edgy’s sake, and very repetitive, especially when it comes to Cadoc and Keiran’s dialogue. Descriptions are lacking when it comes to action, there’s lots of holes which make visualizing a scene choppy and difficult. (The scene in the sewers with Cadoc, Keiran, and Zade was particularly a nightmare to try to envision because it’s just nonsensical. Kinda hot, but mostly nonsense.)
Its portrayal of DID is pretty much the Split treatment; I appreciated its effort to be self-aware (Zade stating that the notion of “evil alters” being Hollywood bullshit) but I found its attempt at a loophole to be unsatisfying and the overall portrayal still largely inaccurate. (Take my assessment with a grain of salt as the extent of my knowledge is limited to systems that I follow on Youtube.)
And I know MM romance is not generally the place to have high expectations for female characters, but I was still disappointed all the same. I’m completely choosing to ignore Lowell’s chapters, which is especially sad when she’s 1/3 of the women in this book and the only woman with a POV, but what the author seemed to want to do with her storyline didn’t get the attention or nuance that I needed for it to work for me, the reactions from other characters towards it were not it, and I think her part in the story was entirely unnecessary.
So I know, this is a lot of complaining for something I’m rating on the better side of average… But this also supplied me with easily one of my favorite couples ever. Zade and Finn are 🔥🔥🔥 and I’d give their scenes ALL of the peppers. Chapter 16 is a particular favorite of mine. (And especially fresh off my disappointment with Ten Count, they hit hard because THIS is how I want to see the seduction of a germaphobe.) I almost considered rounding up to 4 stars even, entirely due to how much I love their story together, but by the time I got to the latter half, I realized I was largely skimming just to get to their parts and I had to admit they’re the only things I was invested in, which.. is just not the way I want to read a book, so rounding down it is. 😅
Overall it does have a lot of things that do hit me in the guilty pleasures— Rough and tortured men with lots of scars and lots of leather, men who hate to love each other, the ghosts of dead loved ones, a weird stalker in skull face paint that’s always inexplicably happening to pop up, sex and violence and obsession and jealousy and insecurity and adrenaline and etc etc. Just fun times. So I’d say… potentially worth a shot, especially if you’re already familiar with dark romance (which I’m not so maybe that contributed to my struggle at parts), even though my motive in any recommending I do is purely just because I want more people to know Zade and Finn.
August 16, 2023
INSANE.
This really got me questioning my moral compass. How dark can I go? Apparently REALLY dark. I kinda saw the twist coming but when the rest of it was revealed I was SCREAMING at my kindle, kicking my feet because it was such a WHAT THE FUCK moment (or maybe I am easily entertained and amazed? BITE ME!).
Cadoc and Zaden had a great relationship. I am not gonna lie though, Their grief and the promises they made (albeit reluctantly) really held them together. It was really beautiful.
As for Kei. I've always imagined him as Tate from American Horror Story (haven't seen it, just the vibe I guess. The paint on their faces is entirely different, but you get it). , I have so much love for this man. I didn't understand him completely, but I guess that was his appeal. A riddle personified.
It was a great read, overall. Nordika, love you girlie.
This really got me questioning my moral compass. How dark can I go? Apparently REALLY dark. I kinda saw the twist coming but when the rest of it was revealed I was SCREAMING at my kindle, kicking my feet because it was such a WHAT THE FUCK moment (or maybe I am easily entertained and amazed? BITE ME!).
Cadoc and Zaden had a great relationship. I am not gonna lie though, Their grief and the promises they made (albeit reluctantly) really held them together. It was really beautiful.
As for Kei. I've always imagined him as Tate from American Horror Story (haven't seen it, just the vibe I guess. The paint on their faces is entirely different, but you get it). , I have so much love for this man. I didn't understand him completely, but I guess that was his appeal. A riddle personified.
It was a great read, overall. Nordika, love you girlie.
August 21, 2023
This book was absolutely incredible. I had absolutely no idea what to expect going into this book. I was just told to not look at any spoilers and I’m so glad I didn’t! This book is full of twists and turns that I never saw coming. If you like going in blind and being surprised this is absolutely the book for you!
I really can’t say too much because I don’t want to spoil anything. The main characters in this story though are amazing. So different and so well developed and well written. This dystopian world was really fun to read about and I 100% recommend this story.
This is a romance but not a conventional one so I would definitely go into this with an open mind but there is still a HEA which I was incredibly happy with. It honestly couldn’t have been written any better. I can’t wait to read more books by this author!
I really can’t say too much because I don’t want to spoil anything. The main characters in this story though are amazing. So different and so well developed and well written. This dystopian world was really fun to read about and I 100% recommend this story.
This is a romance but not a conventional one so I would definitely go into this with an open mind but there is still a HEA which I was incredibly happy with. It honestly couldn’t have been written any better. I can’t wait to read more books by this author!
July 14, 2023
This was a psychological thriller dark romance that had me stress reading like a mf. It’s set in a dark, dystopian future and the plot is just … bananas.
TROPES & VIBES:
- Epic plot twist that made me throw the book across the room
- Psychological, suspense MM romance
- Morally grey characters everywhere
- *Page of trigger warnings dark romance*
4⭐️ 3🌶️ (with CW, dark romance vibes)
TROPES & VIBES:
- Epic plot twist that made me throw the book across the room
- Psychological, suspense MM romance
- Morally grey characters everywhere
- *Page of trigger warnings dark romance*
4⭐️ 3🌶️ (with CW, dark romance vibes)
October 26, 2025
“Karma was a bitch, and Fate was a jokester. Those pricks were always shoving us together when we least wanted it, but most needed it.”
This book was sooo freaking good! I mean, it was so insane but just so, so incredible. I was hooked— I didn’t want to stop reading. When I finished it, I wanted more. It was truly a mindfuck; I was questioning everything from the start. I didn’t know who to trust, who was who— it kept me so invested, it surprised me, and now I really can’t stop thinking about all these characters. If you decide to read this book, make sure to check the TW, because it includes some dark themes and extremely morally grey characters. So yeah, this will be a long review because there’s just so much to unpack.
I want to start with the plot. I have to admit that for almost the entire first half of the book, I understood nothing. I mean, I thought I was following everything that was happening, but there were so many cryptic characters and incomplete threads that I just knew information was missing for me to fully grasp it. But I didn’t hate it or feel frustrated, because the characters, the incredible writing, and this dystopian world had already made me obsessed and completely invested.
"Good and bad are subjective. Good people do bad things for good reasons. Bad people do bad things for reasons that are good to them."
From about 52% onward, everything started to make sense— and wow, when I say that, I mean it. Everything came full circle. I still had my doubts about who was good and who was bad, but I finally understood everything I hadn’t before. I have to applaud the author, because this is such a complicated story to tell well, and she did an incredible job. Everything came together beautifully, and it all made sense. I started to understand so many things I hadn’t before— and I guess I wasn’t supposed to understand them until the right time. My God, that’s an amazing author right there.
I was actually surprised by the twist in this book. I mean, I knew that Arlo had DID— that was obvious — and Keiran being one was a surprise, but one that deep down I kind of expected. But Finn being one? Yeah, that made me gasp out loud. I was not expecting that at all. I thought he was just being shady and maybe working with the other communities, but Finn being an alter of Arlo? I really didn’t see that coming. This revelation about Kei, Finn, and Arlo was what made everything else click. It was so well built up that even if you suspected it, it would still blow your mind. It was explained so well, and it tied every single thread together. I honestly can’t express enough how impressed I am by this author.
“Arlo’s alters aren’t evil,” Dante insisted. “They’re nice, protective, creative, and brilliant. They’re there to protect the main host, even if they don’t know they’re doing it. So, you’re right, Zade, alter egos, or whatever the fuck you call them, aren’t evil. But in this case, the main host is. Arlo is. He was made evil by his childhood.”
“I know I play other leading roles when I’m not Keiran.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” He leaned back in his chair, removing his hands but keeping his eyes closed. “So when I wake up as one of them, I can sometimes still hear the applause of the crowd. I go backstage and paint on my real character.”
I won’t lie, I thought the romance in this book was going to be between Zade and Cadoc, so I was surprised when it actually wasn’t— but I’m definitely not mad about it. Because yes, Zade and Cadoc do have chemistry, and I could absolutely feel the tension between them, but once you see them with their actual love interests— Zade with Finn and Cadoc with Kei— it just makes sense. They wouldn’t have been able to give each other what they needed. I love their connection, how neither of them wanted to admit that they actually cared for each other. Yes, they were bound by Zan and the promises they made to him, but as the story unfolds, we see that while that’s true, it’s also true that they’ve learned to rely on each other. They’ve built this incredible, slightly hate-filled but still beautiful friendship. I love them both and their relationship as it is. They share such a strong bond. Do I wish there was a romantic relationship between them? Of course. But I don’t hate that there isn’t, because I love who they ended up with and how their relationship evolved.
“Wherever this life took us, we’d go together because we were two pin-pricked voodoo dolls, tied together, feeling each other’s pain in different places.”
“We’ll figure this out,” I told him. “Together.” I smacked his cheeks. “I fucking pick you too, Zaden. Every goddamn time. I pick you.”
“Want to haunt him?”
“No,” Zade said.
“Too late,” Keiran told him. “You already do. Every day. Every time he sees you. Every time you speak, move, walk or talk, you haunt him. Just like you haunt yourself.”
“Something connected us, but it wasn’t clear what. Now we were invested in two different people who shared one body, and that only upped our loyalty, deepened the hatred, and intensified the tension.”
-----------------
Kei and Cadoc are definitely my favorites. I mean, they’re completely and utterly insane, and I love it. Kei has absolutely stolen my heart— he’s the most deranged but also somehow adorable and dangerously intense person ever. I don’t even know how to explain it, but these two made me so happy. They’re not a normal or common couple at all, but the way they fit together makes them perfect.
“I didn’t give a fuck that Keiran was some version of Arlo. He might be housed inside the body of a lunatic, but he was loonier. He was a poet and a riddler, a dreamer and a stalker, and he was mine.”
“Keiran was ripping illnesses from my body and infecting me with his own, and more than anything, I wanted to die in the name of his noxious fumes.”
I’ll admit that their conversations were sometimes a little too poetic or layered with double meanings, so I had to reread a few lines to really get them. But I actually loved that about them— the way they expressed themselves felt more intimate, like they had their own language. They shared so many meaningful moments, but my favorite has to be when Cadoc painted Kei again after the final fight, when Kei woke up all bloody because of Arlo. The way Cadoc handled that, how Kei trusted him to give him a new persona, and the words they shared, and the moment when Kei declared in front of everyone that the only person he answers to is Cadoc… ugh, I loved these scenes so much. I love how obsessed Kei was with Cadoc, how absolutely unhinged they were together. I just love Keiran so, so much. These two are definitely my favorites.
“Paint first. Do you want to do it or want me to?”
“You know my face?”
“By heart.”
“Are you an artist?”
“Not even close, but I think I can master you.” I grinned at him.
“Keiran stayed quiet as I painted the black stitching over his closed lips, but his eye contact was so much clearer than Zade’s. He showed me I was saving him while creating a new version of him, because even though he couldn’t see his face, he knew I wasn’t doing it exactly right. He was trusting me to build on his character instead of creating an entirely new one.”
“Why me, Kei? Why are you helping me?”
“Because when my lights turn off, your face keeps me here.”
“To haunt the darkness of the night with you. To no longer be enslaved to freedom but freed by my slaver. To scare you nightly by threatening death, but to kill you slowly by providing you cigarettes. To carry your baggage, but to never actually do it because you need it to build strength. To be an actor but never act with you. To chase endlessness with the greatest riddle of my life.” I didn’t know exactly when I’d picked up the same language that Keiran spoke, but if I understood him correctly, he just told me he was sickly in love with me. Obsessed with me. Keeping me forever and never letting me go until these cigarettes killed me. Enslaved to me by choice, just like I was enslaved to him by choice.
-----------------
Finn and Zade were definitely a surprise for me, and I do feel like I needed more time with them. They had fewer scenes together than the other couple, but the moments they did have were just as beautiful. I love how Zade— an impatient man — ended up showing so much softness, patience, and understanding toward Finn, a germophobe with strict rules about who could touch him and how.
“Learning how to love must have been hard for Zade, but learning to accept love was harder. He didn’t think himself worthy of anyone or anything, but whatever brand of magic Finnegan Ravish and his blush wielded, it was working on my lover’s twin. He still housed a lot of anger, but whenever I saw him with Finn, that anger was replaced by something dopey and soft.”
Their love felt gentler, and it was exactly the kind of love Zade needed. Considering how his life has been and all the anger he carries, he needed someone to choose him. And the fact that a man who never lets anyone into his personal space not only allowed Zade in but wanted him in every way— that was the ultimate “I choose you” moment. It was so beautiful to see their relationship slowly develop. They were definitely more level headed, grounded, and absolutely perfect for each other. I loved Finn— he was so cute, and his quirks made him even more special. I truly adore these two.
“Do you love me, Finnegan?”
“I trust you.” I kissed his collarbones. “I am not disgusted by you.” I kissed his chest. “I worry about you.” I licked his abs, sinking lower. “You swear too much and speak too loudly, and it no longer bothers me.” I pulled the hem of his underwear down, watching his hard dick spring free. “I tolerate your anger and crave your opinion.” He shivered when I licked the head of his cock, stumbling over his underwear. “I need you, want you, crave you, and miss you.” I took him into my mouth, already addicted to the taste and velvety feel of him. “Yes. I love you.”
“You love me anyway.”
“Yes.” He leaned forward to press his lips to mine. “Reluctantly. So dirty. So disgusting. So many germs. But I want all of you. More of you.”
“Then take me. Fuck me. Have all of me, Finnegan. You already own me.”
“Even your heart?” He moved his fingers and forgot about the condom he insisted he’d wear.
“Even my shattered soul.”
-----------------
Finn was perfect for Zade, and Kei was perfect for Cadoc— they match so well, and I just want more of them. It was actually freaky to realize that Kei, Finn, and Arlo were all part of the same body. I actually ended up loving Arlo too. I mean, his methods weren’t good, and he definitely did awful things thinking he was protecting people, but his trauma was just heartbreaking, and it made me, as a reader, understand his different alters. I have to say, I wish there had been more about Arlo and Lowell. I loved how protective he was of her, and that scene where she told him to wait when she faced her ex and he actually listened to her?! Yess, I loved thatttt. I also loved how Dante, Zade, and Cadoc were protective of Arlo. I mean, for Zade and Cadoc it was partly because he carried Finn and Kei too, but I love how every single important character in this book had some kind of connection to Arlo.
“Arlo was evil, and he was casual as fuck about it.”
“Arlo collapsed with one uttered warning, “Punishment.” I stepped forward. Cadoc stepped forward. Lowell stepped forward. Dante stepped forward. Rosie goddamn Wilson came out of nowhere and stepped forward. We all waited to see whose eyes would open for punishment.”
I’ll be deciding whether I hate or love the ending based on the answer to one question and honestly, I don’t know who could answer it other than the author: is there a second book coming??? Because I NEED IT. The ending felt so open! I mean, there’s another war coming, so surely there has to be a second book, rightttt?! I’m begging for one. I need more from all these crazy characters and this world. This book was just insanely good, one of those stories I know I’ll wish I could read again for the first time. Once I finish the prequel, I’ll definitely need a lighter read to recover from this one.
“For now, we were happy here. We had our fucked up friendship built on hate and reluctance. We had safety here with people who knew us. And we had Arlo. Arlo Thorne, the man the world feared and the man who created the men we loved. “Us and that body,” he repeated, smirking. “And all the alter Arlos inside it.”
This book was sooo freaking good! I mean, it was so insane but just so, so incredible. I was hooked— I didn’t want to stop reading. When I finished it, I wanted more. It was truly a mindfuck; I was questioning everything from the start. I didn’t know who to trust, who was who— it kept me so invested, it surprised me, and now I really can’t stop thinking about all these characters. If you decide to read this book, make sure to check the TW, because it includes some dark themes and extremely morally grey characters. So yeah, this will be a long review because there’s just so much to unpack.
I want to start with the plot. I have to admit that for almost the entire first half of the book, I understood nothing. I mean, I thought I was following everything that was happening, but there were so many cryptic characters and incomplete threads that I just knew information was missing for me to fully grasp it. But I didn’t hate it or feel frustrated, because the characters, the incredible writing, and this dystopian world had already made me obsessed and completely invested.
"Good and bad are subjective. Good people do bad things for good reasons. Bad people do bad things for reasons that are good to them."
From about 52% onward, everything started to make sense— and wow, when I say that, I mean it. Everything came full circle. I still had my doubts about who was good and who was bad, but I finally understood everything I hadn’t before. I have to applaud the author, because this is such a complicated story to tell well, and she did an incredible job. Everything came together beautifully, and it all made sense. I started to understand so many things I hadn’t before— and I guess I wasn’t supposed to understand them until the right time. My God, that’s an amazing author right there.
I was actually surprised by the twist in this book. I mean, I knew that Arlo had DID— that was obvious — and Keiran being one was a surprise, but one that deep down I kind of expected. But Finn being one? Yeah, that made me gasp out loud. I was not expecting that at all. I thought he was just being shady and maybe working with the other communities, but Finn being an alter of Arlo? I really didn’t see that coming. This revelation about Kei, Finn, and Arlo was what made everything else click. It was so well built up that even if you suspected it, it would still blow your mind. It was explained so well, and it tied every single thread together. I honestly can’t express enough how impressed I am by this author.
“Arlo’s alters aren’t evil,” Dante insisted. “They’re nice, protective, creative, and brilliant. They’re there to protect the main host, even if they don’t know they’re doing it. So, you’re right, Zade, alter egos, or whatever the fuck you call them, aren’t evil. But in this case, the main host is. Arlo is. He was made evil by his childhood.”
“I know I play other leading roles when I’m not Keiran.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” He leaned back in his chair, removing his hands but keeping his eyes closed. “So when I wake up as one of them, I can sometimes still hear the applause of the crowd. I go backstage and paint on my real character.”
I won’t lie, I thought the romance in this book was going to be between Zade and Cadoc, so I was surprised when it actually wasn’t— but I’m definitely not mad about it. Because yes, Zade and Cadoc do have chemistry, and I could absolutely feel the tension between them, but once you see them with their actual love interests— Zade with Finn and Cadoc with Kei— it just makes sense. They wouldn’t have been able to give each other what they needed. I love their connection, how neither of them wanted to admit that they actually cared for each other. Yes, they were bound by Zan and the promises they made to him, but as the story unfolds, we see that while that’s true, it’s also true that they’ve learned to rely on each other. They’ve built this incredible, slightly hate-filled but still beautiful friendship. I love them both and their relationship as it is. They share such a strong bond. Do I wish there was a romantic relationship between them? Of course. But I don’t hate that there isn’t, because I love who they ended up with and how their relationship evolved.
“Wherever this life took us, we’d go together because we were two pin-pricked voodoo dolls, tied together, feeling each other’s pain in different places.”
“We’ll figure this out,” I told him. “Together.” I smacked his cheeks. “I fucking pick you too, Zaden. Every goddamn time. I pick you.”
“Want to haunt him?”
“No,” Zade said.
“Too late,” Keiran told him. “You already do. Every day. Every time he sees you. Every time you speak, move, walk or talk, you haunt him. Just like you haunt yourself.”
“Something connected us, but it wasn’t clear what. Now we were invested in two different people who shared one body, and that only upped our loyalty, deepened the hatred, and intensified the tension.”
-----------------
Kei and Cadoc are definitely my favorites. I mean, they’re completely and utterly insane, and I love it. Kei has absolutely stolen my heart— he’s the most deranged but also somehow adorable and dangerously intense person ever. I don’t even know how to explain it, but these two made me so happy. They’re not a normal or common couple at all, but the way they fit together makes them perfect.
“I didn’t give a fuck that Keiran was some version of Arlo. He might be housed inside the body of a lunatic, but he was loonier. He was a poet and a riddler, a dreamer and a stalker, and he was mine.”
“Keiran was ripping illnesses from my body and infecting me with his own, and more than anything, I wanted to die in the name of his noxious fumes.”
I’ll admit that their conversations were sometimes a little too poetic or layered with double meanings, so I had to reread a few lines to really get them. But I actually loved that about them— the way they expressed themselves felt more intimate, like they had their own language. They shared so many meaningful moments, but my favorite has to be when Cadoc painted Kei again after the final fight, when Kei woke up all bloody because of Arlo. The way Cadoc handled that, how Kei trusted him to give him a new persona, and the words they shared, and the moment when Kei declared in front of everyone that the only person he answers to is Cadoc… ugh, I loved these scenes so much. I love how obsessed Kei was with Cadoc, how absolutely unhinged they were together. I just love Keiran so, so much. These two are definitely my favorites.
“Paint first. Do you want to do it or want me to?”
“You know my face?”
“By heart.”
“Are you an artist?”
“Not even close, but I think I can master you.” I grinned at him.
“Keiran stayed quiet as I painted the black stitching over his closed lips, but his eye contact was so much clearer than Zade’s. He showed me I was saving him while creating a new version of him, because even though he couldn’t see his face, he knew I wasn’t doing it exactly right. He was trusting me to build on his character instead of creating an entirely new one.”
“Why me, Kei? Why are you helping me?”
“Because when my lights turn off, your face keeps me here.”
“To haunt the darkness of the night with you. To no longer be enslaved to freedom but freed by my slaver. To scare you nightly by threatening death, but to kill you slowly by providing you cigarettes. To carry your baggage, but to never actually do it because you need it to build strength. To be an actor but never act with you. To chase endlessness with the greatest riddle of my life.” I didn’t know exactly when I’d picked up the same language that Keiran spoke, but if I understood him correctly, he just told me he was sickly in love with me. Obsessed with me. Keeping me forever and never letting me go until these cigarettes killed me. Enslaved to me by choice, just like I was enslaved to him by choice.
-----------------
Finn and Zade were definitely a surprise for me, and I do feel like I needed more time with them. They had fewer scenes together than the other couple, but the moments they did have were just as beautiful. I love how Zade— an impatient man — ended up showing so much softness, patience, and understanding toward Finn, a germophobe with strict rules about who could touch him and how.
“Learning how to love must have been hard for Zade, but learning to accept love was harder. He didn’t think himself worthy of anyone or anything, but whatever brand of magic Finnegan Ravish and his blush wielded, it was working on my lover’s twin. He still housed a lot of anger, but whenever I saw him with Finn, that anger was replaced by something dopey and soft.”
Their love felt gentler, and it was exactly the kind of love Zade needed. Considering how his life has been and all the anger he carries, he needed someone to choose him. And the fact that a man who never lets anyone into his personal space not only allowed Zade in but wanted him in every way— that was the ultimate “I choose you” moment. It was so beautiful to see their relationship slowly develop. They were definitely more level headed, grounded, and absolutely perfect for each other. I loved Finn— he was so cute, and his quirks made him even more special. I truly adore these two.
“Do you love me, Finnegan?”
“I trust you.” I kissed his collarbones. “I am not disgusted by you.” I kissed his chest. “I worry about you.” I licked his abs, sinking lower. “You swear too much and speak too loudly, and it no longer bothers me.” I pulled the hem of his underwear down, watching his hard dick spring free. “I tolerate your anger and crave your opinion.” He shivered when I licked the head of his cock, stumbling over his underwear. “I need you, want you, crave you, and miss you.” I took him into my mouth, already addicted to the taste and velvety feel of him. “Yes. I love you.”
“You love me anyway.”
“Yes.” He leaned forward to press his lips to mine. “Reluctantly. So dirty. So disgusting. So many germs. But I want all of you. More of you.”
“Then take me. Fuck me. Have all of me, Finnegan. You already own me.”
“Even your heart?” He moved his fingers and forgot about the condom he insisted he’d wear.
“Even my shattered soul.”
-----------------
Finn was perfect for Zade, and Kei was perfect for Cadoc— they match so well, and I just want more of them. It was actually freaky to realize that Kei, Finn, and Arlo were all part of the same body. I actually ended up loving Arlo too. I mean, his methods weren’t good, and he definitely did awful things thinking he was protecting people, but his trauma was just heartbreaking, and it made me, as a reader, understand his different alters. I have to say, I wish there had been more about Arlo and Lowell. I loved how protective he was of her, and that scene where she told him to wait when she faced her ex and he actually listened to her?! Yess, I loved thatttt. I also loved how Dante, Zade, and Cadoc were protective of Arlo. I mean, for Zade and Cadoc it was partly because he carried Finn and Kei too, but I love how every single important character in this book had some kind of connection to Arlo.
“Arlo was evil, and he was casual as fuck about it.”
“Arlo collapsed with one uttered warning, “Punishment.” I stepped forward. Cadoc stepped forward. Lowell stepped forward. Dante stepped forward. Rosie goddamn Wilson came out of nowhere and stepped forward. We all waited to see whose eyes would open for punishment.”
I’ll be deciding whether I hate or love the ending based on the answer to one question and honestly, I don’t know who could answer it other than the author: is there a second book coming??? Because I NEED IT. The ending felt so open! I mean, there’s another war coming, so surely there has to be a second book, rightttt?! I’m begging for one. I need more from all these crazy characters and this world. This book was just insanely good, one of those stories I know I’ll wish I could read again for the first time. Once I finish the prequel, I’ll definitely need a lighter read to recover from this one.
“For now, we were happy here. We had our fucked up friendship built on hate and reluctance. We had safety here with people who knew us. And we had Arlo. Arlo Thorne, the man the world feared and the man who created the men we loved. “Us and that body,” he repeated, smirking. “And all the alter Arlos inside it.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 1, 2023
« Fuck, he was creepy. A savagely beautiful nightmare come to life. »
« Now we’re bound together for eternity. I will walk through your dreams, haunt your nightmares, stalk you in the waking world and bring you to my otherworld. You will never escape me. »
- « You telling me you love me Kei? »
- « I’m telling you I’ll hunt you forever and howl at your for eternity. »
« If Cadoc died here under the building we called home, I’d bury myself with him to walk in the next life at his side. »
- « What do I smell like? »
- « Mine. My path, my purpose, my tether to this body. »
« I pick you, Zaden. Now and every day. Just you. »
« You’re mine now. Shackled to me with no freedom. »
« You taste like a broken heart and a nightmare. »
« He might be housed inside the body of a lunatic, but he was loonier. He was a poet and a riddler, a dreamer and a stalker, and he was mine. »
« I needed him for my sanity, and no matter what happened in this fucked up world with this fucked up person, I’d pick him, too. »
- « Don’t come for me if I get taken. »
- « Don’t come for me either. »
I’d go after him. Just like he’d go after me.
4,20 ⭐️
« Now we’re bound together for eternity. I will walk through your dreams, haunt your nightmares, stalk you in the waking world and bring you to my otherworld. You will never escape me. »
- « You telling me you love me Kei? »
- « I’m telling you I’ll hunt you forever and howl at your for eternity. »
« If Cadoc died here under the building we called home, I’d bury myself with him to walk in the next life at his side. »
- « What do I smell like? »
- « Mine. My path, my purpose, my tether to this body. »
« I pick you, Zaden. Now and every day. Just you. »
« You’re mine now. Shackled to me with no freedom. »
« You taste like a broken heart and a nightmare. »
« He might be housed inside the body of a lunatic, but he was loonier. He was a poet and a riddler, a dreamer and a stalker, and he was mine. »
« I needed him for my sanity, and no matter what happened in this fucked up world with this fucked up person, I’d pick him, too. »
- « Don’t come for me if I get taken. »
- « Don’t come for me either. »
I’d go after him. Just like he’d go after me.
4,20 ⭐️
February 2, 2024
It’s more a 3.75 ⭐️
I enjoyed it but wouldn’t read it a second time because it fucked up my mind very much 😂
This was such a mindfuck and clusterfuck.
So I would be totally fine with just Zade and Finn. They were everything. I loved every chapter of them and their ending? Soooo cute.🥺
Lowell? Didn’t interest me tbh. I was like, yeah okay great, give me back my boys. Arlo? Interesting to say the least, Jesus.
Kei & Cadoc? Also a great couple but they fucked up my mind too much tbh, still happy for them 😂
Also I was so damn confused what was going on with Cadoc and Zade? I’m glad they didn’t get together bc that shit would have been even more weird. With him being the twin of Cadoc’s ex. That’s just yeah no. Honestly I just loved Zade and felt very sorry for him the entire time cause he got mentally tortured AND no one cared enough to even ask if he’s fine. Just because his wounds weren’t visible doesn’t make them less terrible, like Cadoc says later. So I liked their friendship in the end.
BUT AGAIN FINN AND ZADE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR ME
I enjoyed it but wouldn’t read it a second time because it fucked up my mind very much 😂
This was such a mindfuck and clusterfuck.
So I would be totally fine with just Zade and Finn. They were everything. I loved every chapter of them and their ending? Soooo cute.🥺
Lowell? Didn’t interest me tbh. I was like, yeah okay great, give me back my boys. Arlo? Interesting to say the least, Jesus.
Kei & Cadoc? Also a great couple but they fucked up my mind too much tbh, still happy for them 😂
Also I was so damn confused what was going on with Cadoc and Zade? I’m glad they didn’t get together bc that shit would have been even more weird. With him being the twin of Cadoc’s ex. That’s just yeah no. Honestly I just loved Zade and felt very sorry for him the entire time cause he got mentally tortured AND no one cared enough to even ask if he’s fine. Just because his wounds weren’t visible doesn’t make them less terrible, like Cadoc says later. So I liked their friendship in the end.
BUT AGAIN FINN AND ZADE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR ME
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July 30, 2023
This book was crazy as fuck. 3.5⭐️
Truly, it’s so wild. You should go in blind and definitely not read this review if you plan on reading it yourself cause I’m about to spoil some shit.
I liked both MC’s, Cadoc and Zade. I liked the overall fantasy-post apocalyptic style setting. The psychological twist vibes was cool. I also, for the most part, really enjoyed the writing. Though I found it started to drag on a bit for me at the 80% where I began to skim a bit to get to the end.
“Don’t die now. I can’t…I can’t live in this fucked up world without hating you.”
“So, stop getting fucked up at the lake and trying to drown yourself. I can’t live without hating you either. It’s all I’ve fucking got.”
I, however, did not vibe with the main relationships or the ending.
⚠️⚠️⚠️spoilers AF⚠️⚠️⚠️
While I really enjoyed the mindfuck this book gave me initially, I did actually pick the twist pretty early on. It’s fully revealed at around 50% but I think I cottoned on around 25% in. I don’t think the twist is all that shocking when you consider the name of the book is literally “Alter Arlo” like… Arlo has alter egos… it’s not that tricky to guess who they are. Regardless, it was a fun twist! There’s lots of clues that are dropped from pretty early on if you’re on the look out 👀
What I didn’t like was the fact that both MC’s (+ an additional third character, Lowell (F)) end up with one of Arlo’s alters. This just seems truly like one of the most unlikely and unsustainable outcomes. How long can you expect it to be okay for multiple people to share snippets of this persons fractured mind? And his alters aren’t set in stone… they can merge and change at any time. Like that’s just so wild? Disregarding the fact it’s awful that Arlo has so many alters to deal with his trauma to begin with, but they want to stay with these alters who are incomplete personalities of a deranged psychopath? Like Arlo himself is so fucked up and does the most heinous shit but he ends up being protected so that Zade and Cadoc can still be in love with his two alters... then Lowell stays with Arlo himself?! After he rapes and Stockholm’s her?! I just… cannot.
The main takeaway is Arlo needs therapy. Not a harem of enabling lovers.
I didn’t like the storyline with Lowell mostly cause it was random as hell to have shit from her POV. I feel like we should have had Arlo’s POV instead. But also cause I didn’t like Arlo… like, at all. And he does heaps of fucked up stuff to Lowell which she doesn’t deserve. And he doesn’t deserve to keep her and have her stay at the end cause he’s CRAZY.
Finn and Kieran deserve good things. Arlo? Not so much.
As for the boys… I really liked Finn, one of Arlo’s main alters. He was quirky and cute and loveable. But Kieran (his other main alter)???? I did not see how I was supposed to believe that Cadoc had or could have any sort of meaningful relationship with Kieran. It’s very clear that he’s not all there. The man speaks in insane riddles and literally raped Cadoc to get a point across. Towards the end I had to skim the chapters with Kieran dialogue in it because I couldn’t care less about him howling at the fucking moon anymore. Like seriously, the dude is a whole packet of screws loose. At least Zade had a normal relationship with Finn, who could hold a regular conversation 🙃
I honestly just reaaaaaally wanted Zade and Cadoc to get together in the end. I know the twin thing makes it sort of weird, but they have such a strong connection to one another and were constantly good for one another. They would have at least been able to have a stable relationship together. Cadoc chose Zade, but they just weren’t given a fighting chance. Sad.
“We’ll figure this out,” I told him. “Together.” I smacked his cheeks. “I fucking pick you too, Zaden. Every goddamn time. I pick you.”
Truly, it’s so wild. You should go in blind and definitely not read this review if you plan on reading it yourself cause I’m about to spoil some shit.
I liked both MC’s, Cadoc and Zade. I liked the overall fantasy-post apocalyptic style setting. The psychological twist vibes was cool. I also, for the most part, really enjoyed the writing. Though I found it started to drag on a bit for me at the 80% where I began to skim a bit to get to the end.
“Don’t die now. I can’t…I can’t live in this fucked up world without hating you.”
“So, stop getting fucked up at the lake and trying to drown yourself. I can’t live without hating you either. It’s all I’ve fucking got.”
I, however, did not vibe with the main relationships or the ending.
⚠️⚠️⚠️spoilers AF⚠️⚠️⚠️
While I really enjoyed the mindfuck this book gave me initially, I did actually pick the twist pretty early on. It’s fully revealed at around 50% but I think I cottoned on around 25% in. I don’t think the twist is all that shocking when you consider the name of the book is literally “Alter Arlo” like… Arlo has alter egos… it’s not that tricky to guess who they are. Regardless, it was a fun twist! There’s lots of clues that are dropped from pretty early on if you’re on the look out 👀
What I didn’t like was the fact that both MC’s (+ an additional third character, Lowell (F)) end up with one of Arlo’s alters. This just seems truly like one of the most unlikely and unsustainable outcomes. How long can you expect it to be okay for multiple people to share snippets of this persons fractured mind? And his alters aren’t set in stone… they can merge and change at any time. Like that’s just so wild? Disregarding the fact it’s awful that Arlo has so many alters to deal with his trauma to begin with, but they want to stay with these alters who are incomplete personalities of a deranged psychopath? Like Arlo himself is so fucked up and does the most heinous shit but he ends up being protected so that Zade and Cadoc can still be in love with his two alters... then Lowell stays with Arlo himself?! After he rapes and Stockholm’s her?! I just… cannot.
The main takeaway is Arlo needs therapy. Not a harem of enabling lovers.
I didn’t like the storyline with Lowell mostly cause it was random as hell to have shit from her POV. I feel like we should have had Arlo’s POV instead. But also cause I didn’t like Arlo… like, at all. And he does heaps of fucked up stuff to Lowell which she doesn’t deserve. And he doesn’t deserve to keep her and have her stay at the end cause he’s CRAZY.
Finn and Kieran deserve good things. Arlo? Not so much.
As for the boys… I really liked Finn, one of Arlo’s main alters. He was quirky and cute and loveable. But Kieran (his other main alter)???? I did not see how I was supposed to believe that Cadoc had or could have any sort of meaningful relationship with Kieran. It’s very clear that he’s not all there. The man speaks in insane riddles and literally raped Cadoc to get a point across. Towards the end I had to skim the chapters with Kieran dialogue in it because I couldn’t care less about him howling at the fucking moon anymore. Like seriously, the dude is a whole packet of screws loose. At least Zade had a normal relationship with Finn, who could hold a regular conversation 🙃
I honestly just reaaaaaally wanted Zade and Cadoc to get together in the end. I know the twin thing makes it sort of weird, but they have such a strong connection to one another and were constantly good for one another. They would have at least been able to have a stable relationship together. Cadoc chose Zade, but they just weren’t given a fighting chance. Sad.
“We’ll figure this out,” I told him. “Together.” I smacked his cheeks. “I fucking pick you too, Zaden. Every goddamn time. I pick you.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2023
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Holy sh1t! This was crazy and intense, and I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy it at the end or not… But the answer is yes.
First, of all here will be tons of spoilers. I don’t usually write reviews with spoilers, but I find this one would be nearly impossible to do and I NEED to get everything out. So if you haven’t read the book and you don’t want to read spoilers, stop reading right now. Just know that I ended enjoying this twisted atypical love story even if it’s flagged and obviously not perfect in any sense.
That being said, let’s go with the review:
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. I mean, the blurb is not that clear, right? I thought at first this would be about Zade and Cadoc, but then in the first chapter this weird mysterious boy appears, and I started doubting it. But Zade and Cadoc kept sharing some kind of tense and hot sexual tension, and I wasn’t sure of anything at all.
I think they are very shippeable. I believe they could work together as a couple, even after discovering what links them (and also makes them hate each other) is the fact that Zade is Cadoc’s late lover’s twin. Would it have been weird for Cadoc to end with his dead boyfriend’s twin? Maybe, but it’s a dark romance… I wouldn’t have minded it if well explained and developed. Also, the actual ending is even more bizarre LOL
But. At the same time, I didn’t mind them not ending up together. I mean, they are close and will always be. I got to love their relationship, difficult and twisted as it is. They need each other. They hate each other. But they will do anything and everything to keep the other safe. And when they find their loved ones, I believe they learn to cope with their feelings for each other (and Keiran helps, in his own twisted way).
So… what’s going on with the romance?
This is not the story of one couple only. We have Cadoc’s romance, but also Zade’s and Arlo’s kinda too (but I will get into this part later on).
Cadoc meets Keiran, the weirdo who saves Zade and him while infiltrated in enemy territory, and from then on the two keep bumping. Or more like Keiran actively seeks Cadoc out. The guy sprouts out of nowhere, suddenly and when Cadoc seems to need his company more. And just so you know, Keiran is (IMO) the hardest character to understand because of the way he acts and speaks. But also, in the long run, is one of the most deep characters too.
Their romance is not tender but I do find it sweet. It’s complicated, and twisted, and so very dark. But there’s some sense in it. I loved Keiran even when he’s doing bad things with good intentions, and I loved seeing Cadoc come to terms with his love for Zan and realize he can love again.
Zade, on his hand, meets Finn. Or more like re-discovers the guy, since they meet before the story starts but they don’t fall in love until later. I loved them as much as I loved Cadoc and Keiran, and the two couples couldn’t be more different than they were: where Cadoc and Kei are twisted and dark and a bit crazy, Zade and Finn are somewhat tender and sweet, but no issue free.
Finnegan is a germaphobe, and Zade is not even supposed to be gay. But Zade wins Finn’s trust over and the two start getting closer and realize they can change to be together. Seeing them getting physically closer, considering Finn’s phobia, was a beautiful thing and not rushed at all (which, thank you!), and I can’t convey with words how very much I loved these two together.
I feel like Zade and Finn didn’t get as much in-page time as Kei and Cadoc, but I loved both couples to pieces.
Where’s the twist, then? Until now, everything sounds rather normal even if a tad dark, right? Well, I kinda saw the twist coming considering, mostly, the book’s title. It’s a big give away!
I’m not sure exactly when I started catching on, maybe when Keiran told Cadoc they met many times before and that he always made him blush and that’s why he started painting his face white? Not sure, but it was obvious they all were Arlo’s alters and I feared how it would end.
Of course, I was not wrong and soon (like around halfway through the book, maybe?) it’s confirmed that Keiran and Finnegan are some of Arlo’s personalities: different people sharing the same body. How crazy is that? I think I’ve never read a romance in which DIFFERENT characters fell in love with DIFFERENT personalities sharing the body of someone with DID. It���s an amazing twist, but kinda weird if you think about it.
I was scared of it now working out for me in the end. And usually it wouldn’t, because the idea of two people loving two guys inside one body, and thus having to split the time they spend with their loved ones with another one… sounds strange. But Nordika made it work, and maybe this being a dystopia as it is helps, too, since nothing is “normal” in these guys’ lives.
So, overall, I loved how they all come to terms with their situation. Cadoc and Zade won’t be romantically involved but are bound to be together forever, sharing the body of the guys they love. But what happens with Arlo, the original character inside the body? The traumatized kid who needed to split his personality to cope with what he had to go through?
Arlo is not redeemable. He’s not supposed to be. He’s gone beyond redemption, too far gone in his trauma and horrible past to be saved. But the author had to find a way to make it work, since he can’t be killed considering Keiran and Finnegan are nothing but parts of Arlo’s mind. The solution was, IMO, half-baked.
And in this regard… unpopular opinion: I feel like most readers disliked Lowell and Arlo’s story because it’s an M/F plot. Does this mean I liked it? Not really, but I will explain why hahaha
For me, it was lacking. That kind of story (a captive falling for her captor and the captor getting absolutely obsessed with his captor) need time for it to work. This is a dark romance, so it could have worked!! But Lowell’s chapters felt random and not that interesting, and the development in Arlo’s and her relationship felt rushed and not that explained. I didn’t connect with them, and it’s not because Arlo is an evil bastard that does terrible things to Lowell (there are many dark romances like theirs, both M/M and M/F, and people love them), but because I didn’t quite believe them falling in love (or something akin to it). For me their relationship was the easy solution to tame Arlo and let Keiran and Finnegan be happy with their boys.
And it’s a pity because I love characters like Arlo, broken and twisted. Characters that are so far gone and believe they will not have something good and beautiful in their life, and then suddenly they do find it and their lives change. They don’t have to become “good” characters (most psychopathic MCs aren’t) for them to work as a dark romance MC, but for that to happen with Arlo the story should have been more focused in him, and it wasn’t.
And here I will stop. I feel like this is one of my longest reviews ever, and I could keep going on because there are so many things to say about this story. But here I stop, and if someone wants to talk about it we can do through DMs or Instagram any time!
Holy sh1t! This was crazy and intense, and I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy it at the end or not… But the answer is yes.
First, of all here will be tons of spoilers. I don’t usually write reviews with spoilers, but I find this one would be nearly impossible to do and I NEED to get everything out. So if you haven’t read the book and you don’t want to read spoilers, stop reading right now. Just know that I ended enjoying this twisted atypical love story even if it’s flagged and obviously not perfect in any sense.
That being said, let’s go with the review:
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. I mean, the blurb is not that clear, right? I thought at first this would be about Zade and Cadoc, but then in the first chapter this weird mysterious boy appears, and I started doubting it. But Zade and Cadoc kept sharing some kind of tense and hot sexual tension, and I wasn’t sure of anything at all.
I think they are very shippeable. I believe they could work together as a couple, even after discovering what links them (and also makes them hate each other) is the fact that Zade is Cadoc’s late lover’s twin. Would it have been weird for Cadoc to end with his dead boyfriend’s twin? Maybe, but it’s a dark romance… I wouldn’t have minded it if well explained and developed. Also, the actual ending is even more bizarre LOL
But. At the same time, I didn’t mind them not ending up together. I mean, they are close and will always be. I got to love their relationship, difficult and twisted as it is. They need each other. They hate each other. But they will do anything and everything to keep the other safe. And when they find their loved ones, I believe they learn to cope with their feelings for each other (and Keiran helps, in his own twisted way).
So… what’s going on with the romance?
This is not the story of one couple only. We have Cadoc’s romance, but also Zade’s and Arlo’s kinda too (but I will get into this part later on).
Cadoc meets Keiran, the weirdo who saves Zade and him while infiltrated in enemy territory, and from then on the two keep bumping. Or more like Keiran actively seeks Cadoc out. The guy sprouts out of nowhere, suddenly and when Cadoc seems to need his company more. And just so you know, Keiran is (IMO) the hardest character to understand because of the way he acts and speaks. But also, in the long run, is one of the most deep characters too.
Their romance is not tender but I do find it sweet. It’s complicated, and twisted, and so very dark. But there’s some sense in it. I loved Keiran even when he’s doing bad things with good intentions, and I loved seeing Cadoc come to terms with his love for Zan and realize he can love again.
Zade, on his hand, meets Finn. Or more like re-discovers the guy, since they meet before the story starts but they don’t fall in love until later. I loved them as much as I loved Cadoc and Keiran, and the two couples couldn’t be more different than they were: where Cadoc and Kei are twisted and dark and a bit crazy, Zade and Finn are somewhat tender and sweet, but no issue free.
Finnegan is a germaphobe, and Zade is not even supposed to be gay. But Zade wins Finn’s trust over and the two start getting closer and realize they can change to be together. Seeing them getting physically closer, considering Finn’s phobia, was a beautiful thing and not rushed at all (which, thank you!), and I can’t convey with words how very much I loved these two together.
I feel like Zade and Finn didn’t get as much in-page time as Kei and Cadoc, but I loved both couples to pieces.
Where’s the twist, then? Until now, everything sounds rather normal even if a tad dark, right? Well, I kinda saw the twist coming considering, mostly, the book’s title. It’s a big give away!
I’m not sure exactly when I started catching on, maybe when Keiran told Cadoc they met many times before and that he always made him blush and that’s why he started painting his face white? Not sure, but it was obvious they all were Arlo’s alters and I feared how it would end.
Of course, I was not wrong and soon (like around halfway through the book, maybe?) it’s confirmed that Keiran and Finnegan are some of Arlo’s personalities: different people sharing the same body. How crazy is that? I think I’ve never read a romance in which DIFFERENT characters fell in love with DIFFERENT personalities sharing the body of someone with DID. It���s an amazing twist, but kinda weird if you think about it.
I was scared of it now working out for me in the end. And usually it wouldn’t, because the idea of two people loving two guys inside one body, and thus having to split the time they spend with their loved ones with another one… sounds strange. But Nordika made it work, and maybe this being a dystopia as it is helps, too, since nothing is “normal” in these guys’ lives.
So, overall, I loved how they all come to terms with their situation. Cadoc and Zade won’t be romantically involved but are bound to be together forever, sharing the body of the guys they love. But what happens with Arlo, the original character inside the body? The traumatized kid who needed to split his personality to cope with what he had to go through?
Arlo is not redeemable. He’s not supposed to be. He’s gone beyond redemption, too far gone in his trauma and horrible past to be saved. But the author had to find a way to make it work, since he can’t be killed considering Keiran and Finnegan are nothing but parts of Arlo’s mind. The solution was, IMO, half-baked.
And in this regard… unpopular opinion: I feel like most readers disliked Lowell and Arlo’s story because it’s an M/F plot. Does this mean I liked it? Not really, but I will explain why hahaha
For me, it was lacking. That kind of story (a captive falling for her captor and the captor getting absolutely obsessed with his captor) need time for it to work. This is a dark romance, so it could have worked!! But Lowell’s chapters felt random and not that interesting, and the development in Arlo’s and her relationship felt rushed and not that explained. I didn’t connect with them, and it’s not because Arlo is an evil bastard that does terrible things to Lowell (there are many dark romances like theirs, both M/M and M/F, and people love them), but because I didn’t quite believe them falling in love (or something akin to it). For me their relationship was the easy solution to tame Arlo and let Keiran and Finnegan be happy with their boys.
And it’s a pity because I love characters like Arlo, broken and twisted. Characters that are so far gone and believe they will not have something good and beautiful in their life, and then suddenly they do find it and their lives change. They don’t have to become “good” characters (most psychopathic MCs aren’t) for them to work as a dark romance MC, but for that to happen with Arlo the story should have been more focused in him, and it wasn’t.
And here I will stop. I feel like this is one of my longest reviews ever, and I could keep going on because there are so many things to say about this story. But here I stop, and if someone wants to talk about it we can do through DMs or Instagram any time!
January 26, 2023
Ever sit down to write a review and genuinely ask yourself how the hell am I supposed to review this book? I feel like whatever I say won't do it justice. The magnitude of this book is unlike anything I have read in a long time. I feel like I walked straight into this book wholly unprepared for it lol. It was exquisitely written and I'm actually blown away by how Nordika delivered & executed a storyline like this one. It's written with acute precision and never once falters with keeping it's reader in suspense. If I could give you one piece of advice- GO INTO THIS COMPLETELY BLIND!!
You will crave all the answers to this mindf**k of a book & let me tell you this book is exactly that! It will discombobulate the everliving hell outta you. It's one hell of a wild ride and It has more twist and turns than a helter skelter slide. You won't see the answers to this book until it slaps you in the face and you will thank it for it's mistreatment of you. It is dark... the darkest of dark, poetically poignant and thought provoking whilst still managing to make you laugh at the absurdity within it's depths. This dystopian dark romance will bend your reality and have you on the edge of your seat. All you can really do is hang on for dear life and watch it all unfold. I 1000% recommend this delightfully twisted book. The world building was next level and a real game-changer for me.
You will crave all the answers to this mindf**k of a book & let me tell you this book is exactly that! It will discombobulate the everliving hell outta you. It's one hell of a wild ride and It has more twist and turns than a helter skelter slide. You won't see the answers to this book until it slaps you in the face and you will thank it for it's mistreatment of you. It is dark... the darkest of dark, poetically poignant and thought provoking whilst still managing to make you laugh at the absurdity within it's depths. This dystopian dark romance will bend your reality and have you on the edge of your seat. All you can really do is hang on for dear life and watch it all unfold. I 1000% recommend this delightfully twisted book. The world building was next level and a real game-changer for me.
August 4, 2023
I absolutely LOVED this.
The TWIST(S) !!!! It really just kept on giving. I feel everyone should go into this blind so I won't say much but I just loved the unpredictability and it kept me guessing.
I wanted to highlight everything because of the beautiful, poetic writing.
Keiran, I love you.
Zade and Cadoc's relationship was everything.
What a wild, chaotic ride.
The TWIST(S) !!!! It really just kept on giving. I feel everyone should go into this blind so I won't say much but I just loved the unpredictability and it kept me guessing.
I wanted to highlight everything because of the beautiful, poetic writing.
Keiran, I love you.
Zade and Cadoc's relationship was everything.
What a wild, chaotic ride.
January 7, 2026
I honestly don't know how to review this, because I feel like anything I say will just not make sense. I went into this completely blind, reading no reviews... so for quite a while I really had no idea what was going on or what was going to happen. Usually you can get a sense for how things are gonna go, but nope, not here. There is no good or bad, there just is.
"Good and bad are subjective. Good people do bad things for good reasons. Bad people do bad things for reasons that are good to them."
Its just a wild fucking ride that's also emotional as hell. There is an overall sense of learning to live after loss and just overwhelming grief through out. At the end of the day, its a love story that breaks your heart and puts it back together with some wicked scars. It hurt, but its also beautiful.
Post Apocalyptic MM
Dark Romance
Complete Mind F*ck
Hurt / Comfort
Lots of Twists
Super Emotional
I Can't Say Anything!
Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
"Good and bad are subjective. Good people do bad things for good reasons. Bad people do bad things for reasons that are good to them."
Its just a wild fucking ride that's also emotional as hell. There is an overall sense of learning to live after loss and just overwhelming grief through out. At the end of the day, its a love story that breaks your heart and puts it back together with some wicked scars. It hurt, but its also beautiful.
Post Apocalyptic MM
Dark Romance
Complete Mind F*ck
Hurt / Comfort
Lots of Twists
Super Emotional
I Can't Say Anything!
Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
July 4, 2023
Gut wrenched.
As an overarching statement, I want to point out while this story had great craftsmanship and originality it was definitely not my cup of tea, and it probably won’t be for many. Don’t make my mistakes:
Since I was really uncomfortable about 80% of the time, it was hard not to focus on little areas that needed definite improvement. I blame myself for not reading the content warnings - had I done so I would have dropped this book I instantly. I’ll repeat - Don’t make that mistake!
There were large plot holes, and there were many details elaborated on in vastly varying degrees. I lost the plot multiple times. Missions executed, but I had no idea why they mattered. It became clear Zaden and Cadoc were not end game pretty early (when C told Z he wished Z had died instead of his twin, the bastard), so it was just two guys going on spy missions most of the time. I’m a simp for enemies to lovers and it made me grumpy to see such allusion to one.
In the story, large events occur that were detailed and gave the impression as being significant to the story. I wasn’t able to match the expected anticipation because I was left wondering wtf is happening and to what end.
Had I read the content warning I would have seen the MF label. Lowell was a thorn in my side from the beginning. I’m not going to rant about her, because I was the dingus that (I’ll repeat) DIDNT READ THE CONTENT WARNING and am currently submersed in an internal ass.
I knew Keiran was an Alter of Arlo pretty early on, though I didn’t foresee Finn being one and I am still feeling disappointed. Finn was my absolute favorite character and based on my own research Of DID fits most with what the typical host is, versus Arlo. I have come to understand DID as being something that occurs as a result of the host identity experiencing prolonged trauma, and in order to survive, alternative identities are established to protect them.
As a result, I assume alters know who the host identity is, however the host identity may not know all of their alternative identities. Further, Arlo seems like he would be the protector type, since he’s evil and went full on bare handed spree killer to protect Lowell at the end. I think that was Kieran’s skill but I was really following.
The apocalyptic back story was absolutely original in thought but imo poorly executed. We’re given scant details about how or why things turned dark for the world, and the lack of communication was frustrating. It was hard to really commit to finish the story because once I figured out the alter situation I got a decent basic picture. Unfortunately for me the completed one was even worse than I had imagined as I read on.
Finn and Zaden were my life preserver, but they proved flimsy at the end. I’m not a poly fan at all, and I’d classify this as a poly/harem piece with M/M and M/F pairing. I do take responsibility for not reading the content warning, and my consequence was reading this book until the very end. But I also think the MF pairing warrants more than a content warning. This book was advertised at the end of lot 62 and it explicitly states that it is an MM book featuring two couples. The were THREE couples (even if Arlo and Lowell’s relationship is super fucked up), and Lowell and Arlo’s relationship got basically the same page time and Finn and Zaden’s. On top of that, the non con was beyond cringe and in full on gag territory. My LB was absorbed right back into my body.
I had zero connection to Cadoc and Kieran, as their relationship was fucking twisted, and took center stage. Their dialogues can probably be considered artful, but I think this is a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Spoiler alert, I beheld none. I wasn’t in the mood for their dialogue subterfuge because I was still trying to piece things together through plot holes and developments that I thought were significant and were actually just red herrings. Again technique: fire, I just didn’t didn’t feel the burn.
Every time Cadoc made out with Keiran I got second hand bitterness cringe because he was ingesting so much acrylic paint. On top of SMELLING LIKE THE BASEMENT. Like was I supposed to pop a lady boner for that? Nope, not my cuppa. I do lol in hindsight because the basement signified something deep, but I couldn’t ignore what my grandparents basement used to smell like that just kept coming back to me every time i read that. EVEN WORSE the smell memory triggered memory of what it felt like which was cold. Ironically, during a point that things would get physical between C and K.
I. Do. Not. Read. Harems. Period.
I think everyone is entitled to their personal love lives, and I support all types of relationships including polyamorous relationships. That said, I have zero inclination to read harem / polyamorous books. In this case, I recognize the distinct couples, but I kept fixating on how ~sister wives~ it felt versus say, Sense 8. I struggled with coping. I kept picturing them seeing love marks on his body, his likelihood of not using protection and also impregnating Lowell at some point or another. Finn making Zaden promise to be faithful and supposedly making it himself, only to fuck two other people (even unknowingly) really Icked me out and broke my heart. Finn was not intentionally breaking that but still, couldn’t cope.
Finn and Zaden had so much potential and I was obliterated that he was an alter. I had hoped for a sliver of hope in the apocalyptic backdrop, but by the end realized there would be none.
As an overarching statement, I want to point out while this story had great craftsmanship and originality it was definitely not my cup of tea, and it probably won’t be for many. Don’t make my mistakes:
Since I was really uncomfortable about 80% of the time, it was hard not to focus on little areas that needed definite improvement. I blame myself for not reading the content warnings - had I done so I would have dropped this book I instantly. I’ll repeat - Don’t make that mistake!
There were large plot holes, and there were many details elaborated on in vastly varying degrees. I lost the plot multiple times. Missions executed, but I had no idea why they mattered. It became clear Zaden and Cadoc were not end game pretty early (when C told Z he wished Z had died instead of his twin, the bastard), so it was just two guys going on spy missions most of the time. I’m a simp for enemies to lovers and it made me grumpy to see such allusion to one.
In the story, large events occur that were detailed and gave the impression as being significant to the story. I wasn’t able to match the expected anticipation because I was left wondering wtf is happening and to what end.
Had I read the content warning I would have seen the MF label. Lowell was a thorn in my side from the beginning. I’m not going to rant about her, because I was the dingus that (I’ll repeat) DIDNT READ THE CONTENT WARNING and am currently submersed in an internal ass.
I knew Keiran was an Alter of Arlo pretty early on, though I didn’t foresee Finn being one and I am still feeling disappointed. Finn was my absolute favorite character and based on my own research Of DID fits most with what the typical host is, versus Arlo. I have come to understand DID as being something that occurs as a result of the host identity experiencing prolonged trauma, and in order to survive, alternative identities are established to protect them.
As a result, I assume alters know who the host identity is, however the host identity may not know all of their alternative identities. Further, Arlo seems like he would be the protector type, since he’s evil and went full on bare handed spree killer to protect Lowell at the end. I think that was Kieran’s skill but I was really following.
The apocalyptic back story was absolutely original in thought but imo poorly executed. We’re given scant details about how or why things turned dark for the world, and the lack of communication was frustrating. It was hard to really commit to finish the story because once I figured out the alter situation I got a decent basic picture. Unfortunately for me the completed one was even worse than I had imagined as I read on.
Finn and Zaden were my life preserver, but they proved flimsy at the end. I’m not a poly fan at all, and I’d classify this as a poly/harem piece with M/M and M/F pairing. I do take responsibility for not reading the content warning, and my consequence was reading this book until the very end. But I also think the MF pairing warrants more than a content warning. This book was advertised at the end of lot 62 and it explicitly states that it is an MM book featuring two couples. The were THREE couples (even if Arlo and Lowell’s relationship is super fucked up), and Lowell and Arlo’s relationship got basically the same page time and Finn and Zaden’s. On top of that, the non con was beyond cringe and in full on gag territory. My LB was absorbed right back into my body.
I had zero connection to Cadoc and Kieran, as their relationship was fucking twisted, and took center stage. Their dialogues can probably be considered artful, but I think this is a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Spoiler alert, I beheld none. I wasn’t in the mood for their dialogue subterfuge because I was still trying to piece things together through plot holes and developments that I thought were significant and were actually just red herrings. Again technique: fire, I just didn’t didn’t feel the burn.
Every time Cadoc made out with Keiran I got second hand bitterness cringe because he was ingesting so much acrylic paint. On top of SMELLING LIKE THE BASEMENT. Like was I supposed to pop a lady boner for that? Nope, not my cuppa. I do lol in hindsight because the basement signified something deep, but I couldn’t ignore what my grandparents basement used to smell like that just kept coming back to me every time i read that. EVEN WORSE the smell memory triggered memory of what it felt like which was cold. Ironically, during a point that things would get physical between C and K.
I. Do. Not. Read. Harems. Period.
I think everyone is entitled to their personal love lives, and I support all types of relationships including polyamorous relationships. That said, I have zero inclination to read harem / polyamorous books. In this case, I recognize the distinct couples, but I kept fixating on how ~sister wives~ it felt versus say, Sense 8. I struggled with coping. I kept picturing them seeing love marks on his body, his likelihood of not using protection and also impregnating Lowell at some point or another. Finn making Zaden promise to be faithful and supposedly making it himself, only to fuck two other people (even unknowingly) really Icked me out and broke my heart. Finn was not intentionally breaking that but still, couldn’t cope.
Finn and Zaden had so much potential and I was obliterated that he was an alter. I had hoped for a sliver of hope in the apocalyptic backdrop, but by the end realized there would be none.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 18, 2023
WOWOWOWOW.
I don't expect a proper review from myself so I'm not gonna force me. I'll just say that it was one of the TOP reads this year and maybe not just this year, and leave it at that.
----
Also, this was a buddy read -- couldn't imagine more perfect way to unfold this story because NO WAY I would be able to contain every thought to myself while reading.
I don't expect a proper review from myself so I'm not gonna force me. I'll just say that it was one of the TOP reads this year and maybe not just this year, and leave it at that.
----
Also, this was a buddy read -- couldn't imagine more perfect way to unfold this story because NO WAY I would be able to contain every thought to myself while reading.
November 11, 2025
This is a 6⭐️ read for sure… probably 7 if I’m being honest!
I loved everything about this book, and I wish it had more hype!
I would probably give it like 2.5 🌶️ because there isn’t a ton of it, but the plot and the story were so dang good, that everything g just blended perfectly!!!
OBSESSED!!!!
I loved everything about this book, and I wish it had more hype!
I would probably give it like 2.5 🌶️ because there isn’t a ton of it, but the plot and the story were so dang good, that everything g just blended perfectly!!!
OBSESSED!!!!
February 1, 2024
I don't even know where to start with this book - it was pure chaos, and I was living for every moment of it.
Alter Arlo is set in a dystopian world in which society has collapsed. The ungoverned 'Grey Zone' has split into 3 rival territories - Genesis, Red River, and Pike valley - all of whom are on the verge of war with each other, and nobody knows who to trust. There is a romantic element, however the book is largely plot/character driven, focusing on grief, trauma, survival, uncovering secrets, and forging new bonds.
Nordika Night has done a truly incredible job weaving in all of the intricacies of the story, and I'm amazed at all the plot twists she managed to pull off. One of them I suspected, but it ended up running SO much deeper than I ever imagined. The characters in this book are so unique and multifaceted, and the way in which they grow and develop was one of my favourite things about it.
The only thing I didn't love was the MF storyline, which was very minor in comparison to the rest of the book, but it still felt out of place to me. I honestly could have done without Lowell, but that's just me!
I can't really say much else about the plot without giving it away, but just trust me when I say this book has to be experienced for yourself! This whole book was such a ride, so completely different from anything I've ever read before, and definitely a book that will stay with me.
Alter Arlo is set in a dystopian world in which society has collapsed. The ungoverned 'Grey Zone' has split into 3 rival territories - Genesis, Red River, and Pike valley - all of whom are on the verge of war with each other, and nobody knows who to trust. There is a romantic element, however the book is largely plot/character driven, focusing on grief, trauma, survival, uncovering secrets, and forging new bonds.
Nordika Night has done a truly incredible job weaving in all of the intricacies of the story, and I'm amazed at all the plot twists she managed to pull off. One of them I suspected, but it ended up running SO much deeper than I ever imagined. The characters in this book are so unique and multifaceted, and the way in which they grow and develop was one of my favourite things about it.
The only thing I didn't love was the MF storyline, which was very minor in comparison to the rest of the book, but it still felt out of place to me. I honestly could have done without Lowell, but that's just me!
I can't really say much else about the plot without giving it away, but just trust me when I say this book has to be experienced for yourself! This whole book was such a ride, so completely different from anything I've ever read before, and definitely a book that will stay with me.
“You chased pain and survived, you’re still living after chasing chaos, and you caught rapture by the scruff of its neck before letting it get away. You’re still breathing.”
July 2, 2024
that was insane.
September 19, 2023
Let me start by saying I love this author's work in general. I didn't have much issue with the writing of this book.
My issue was with the direction the story went. The blurb makes it seem like there are two MCs and it's MM. But it's not truly that.
⚠️ SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ON ⚠️
I expected Cadoc and Zade to get together. I was completely thrown off by the triangle they have with the alter egos. I probably wouldn't have read this if the blurb had indicated it would be dual couple MM/MM. So I feel a bit deceived there, which makes me disappointed.
I also hated the Lowell arc. It was just so tedious to read, and don't even get me started on how she decides to stay with her rapist kidnapper. The whole thing was just unnecessary.
I wanted to like this book, and had it been Cadoc/Zade, I probably would have given it a 4.5 or 4 star. But the creative direction just didn't work for me. 🤷♂️
My issue was with the direction the story went. The blurb makes it seem like there are two MCs and it's MM. But it's not truly that.
⚠️ SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ON ⚠️
I expected Cadoc and Zade to get together. I was completely thrown off by the triangle they have with the alter egos. I probably wouldn't have read this if the blurb had indicated it would be dual couple MM/MM. So I feel a bit deceived there, which makes me disappointed.
I also hated the Lowell arc. It was just so tedious to read, and don't even get me started on how she decides to stay with her rapist kidnapper. The whole thing was just unnecessary.
I wanted to like this book, and had it been Cadoc/Zade, I probably would have given it a 4.5 or 4 star. But the creative direction just didn't work for me. 🤷♂️
December 24, 2023
“Don’t die. I can’t…I can’t live in this fucked up world without hating you.”
💀Dark MM romance (2 couples) MM/MF
💀Dystopian
💀MMC Zaden Enge, Chaos Chaser
💀MMC Cadoc Dire, gun expert
💀MMC Arlo Thorne, a mindfuck
💀MMC Dante DaRosa, leader Genesis
💀Mental Health issues
💀Psychological themes
💀Plot-twists
💀Gang war
💀Found family
💀Spice
💀HEA
💀Check TW
A mind-fuck of mass proportions.
It was so unique and I loved all the jaw-dropping twists and turns.
Also, damaged boys… I’m just so here for it.
Nordika claims this is her least popular book, and that is a bloody shame if you ask me. This book is SO good, gut wrenching, twisted, dark, full of angst, grief, and love.
I also read Genesis after this, which gives you the background story on Cadoc and Zaden. The devastation and grief are written in such a painfully realistic way, it just grabs you by the throat and refuses to let go.
💀Dark MM romance (2 couples) MM/MF
💀Dystopian
💀MMC Zaden Enge, Chaos Chaser
💀MMC Cadoc Dire, gun expert
💀MMC Arlo Thorne, a mindfuck
💀MMC Dante DaRosa, leader Genesis
💀Mental Health issues
💀Psychological themes
💀Plot-twists
💀Gang war
💀Found family
💀Spice
💀HEA
💀Check TW
A mind-fuck of mass proportions.
It was so unique and I loved all the jaw-dropping twists and turns.
Also, damaged boys… I’m just so here for it.
Nordika claims this is her least popular book, and that is a bloody shame if you ask me. This book is SO good, gut wrenching, twisted, dark, full of angst, grief, and love.
I also read Genesis after this, which gives you the background story on Cadoc and Zaden. The devastation and grief are written in such a painfully realistic way, it just grabs you by the throat and refuses to let go.
October 30, 2024
Que livro perfeitamente fodido! Favoritado até a alma.
Me fez quebrar várias barreiras literárias, e valeu cada segundo disso.
NÃO é um livro para qualquer um.
Esse é um livro para ser sentido, além de ser lido com a alma. Ele chega a ser bizarro de verdade, porque é um livro perturbador de vários jeitos, que no fim, são certos.
Quem começar a ler esse livro, uma dica: só vai e aproveite a viagem. Porque vai ser louco pra caralho!
Me fez quebrar várias barreiras literárias, e valeu cada segundo disso.
NÃO é um livro para qualquer um.
Esse é um livro para ser sentido, além de ser lido com a alma. Ele chega a ser bizarro de verdade, porque é um livro perturbador de vários jeitos, que no fim, são certos.
Quem começar a ler esse livro, uma dica: só vai e aproveite a viagem. Porque vai ser louco pra caralho!
November 27, 2024
5/5⭐️ 3/5🌶️
——• 🖤
WHAT. A. WILD. FUCKING. RIDE. 🤯
I have never been so confused yet so swept up in a book then what I was with Alter Arlo. The way Nordika Night’s mind works is fucking phenomenal because this blew my mind in every single way.
I read it’s best to go in without much knowledge which I did and would happily agree with BUT I won’t lie as I honestly struggled with understanding who was who for the first 20-30% of the book so I had to write it all down as I went (character list below) which helped.
This book follows two different MM relationships and yes there is also an FM relationship throughout the book but it doesn’t have much involvement in the way of reading time (6% maybe) as it’s purely needed for the storyline!!
Character List ——• 🖤
This community is a non-governed forgotten section between America and Canada which splits into three territories being Genesis, Red River and Pike Valley, the inbetween ‘no man’s land’.
—
Main characters :
—
MMC - Cadoc - Works under Dante and runs a crew for weapon trading etc
MMC - Zaden - Works under Dante and runs a crew for negotiating etc
MMC - Finnegan - Dante’s right hand man. Who is a germaphobe and a genius.
MMC - Kieran - Works under Dante’s command but has been planted in Red River to spy.
MMC - Arlo - Originally Genesis’s weapon but belongs to no one and is who the book is based on.
FMC - Lowell - Sold to be Dante’s wife but was kidnapped causing the fight between the territories.
—
Side characters :
—
Dante - Leader of Genesis
Doom - Leader of Red River
Simon - Lowell’s father (I think he is part of Pike Valley in no man’s land but teams up with Doom)
Zander - Dead twin of Zaden and ex boyfriend to Cadoc
Related Books ——• 🖤
Genesis - This book picks up from the death of Zander and is based on how Codac and Zaden became to be. Now it states that it’s best to be read after Alter Arlo but I disagree because it sets the foundation of their relationship and would help you understand why they are how they are🙃
——• 🖤
WHAT. A. WILD. FUCKING. RIDE. 🤯
I have never been so confused yet so swept up in a book then what I was with Alter Arlo. The way Nordika Night’s mind works is fucking phenomenal because this blew my mind in every single way.
I read it’s best to go in without much knowledge which I did and would happily agree with BUT I won’t lie as I honestly struggled with understanding who was who for the first 20-30% of the book so I had to write it all down as I went (character list below) which helped.
This book follows two different MM relationships and yes there is also an FM relationship throughout the book but it doesn’t have much involvement in the way of reading time (6% maybe) as it’s purely needed for the storyline!!
Character List ——• 🖤
This community is a non-governed forgotten section between America and Canada which splits into three territories being Genesis, Red River and Pike Valley, the inbetween ‘no man’s land’.
—
Main characters :
—
MMC - Cadoc - Works under Dante and runs a crew for weapon trading etc
MMC - Zaden - Works under Dante and runs a crew for negotiating etc
MMC - Finnegan - Dante’s right hand man. Who is a germaphobe and a genius.
MMC - Kieran - Works under Dante’s command but has been planted in Red River to spy.
MMC - Arlo - Originally Genesis’s weapon but belongs to no one and is who the book is based on.
FMC - Lowell - Sold to be Dante’s wife but was kidnapped causing the fight between the territories.
—
Side characters :
—
Dante - Leader of Genesis
Doom - Leader of Red River
Simon - Lowell’s father (I think he is part of Pike Valley in no man’s land but teams up with Doom)
Zander - Dead twin of Zaden and ex boyfriend to Cadoc
Related Books ——• 🖤
Genesis - This book picks up from the death of Zander and is based on how Codac and Zaden became to be. Now it states that it’s best to be read after Alter Arlo but I disagree because it sets the foundation of their relationship and would help you understand why they are how they are🙃
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