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Who Do You Think You Are?
Traces the author's reminiscences about her complicated relationship with her mother in the aftermath of the latter's death, a dynamic marked by questions about her parents' stormy relationship and the dysfunctions that challenged them all. 50,000 first printing.
256 pages
Published May 6, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
April 10, 2009
A book about a not-so-good relationship between a mother and daughter. While I thought her mother was abusive, it was not as serious as it was portrayed. We should all get unconditional love from our mothers, but we all don't. And we don't call it abusive. I think this girl earned a lot of what she got. She showed no respect for her mother at any time. They were just two people unaware of what the other was going through who perhaps shouldn't have been living together. I was totally unable to sympathize with the daughter (the author), so this book failed for me.
June 27, 2009
This book made me sad. I had such a hard time being sympathetic to Alyse's mother at anytime during this book. Even when I knew this woman was dying, even after getting a peak into her early days when she loved with abandon. What I took away from this book is the knowledge that children are resilient. We, as children, have a way of hating our parents with such ferocity, but we also love them with great loyalty no matter what they might have done to us. In the end, Alyse was able to forgive her mother for her abusive ways and she made peace with that part of her life. I can not stand in judgment of that......it brings a closure to her childhood that she needed in order to heal and to move on. I totally recommend this well-written memoir to anyone who is interested in this genre.
October 7, 2009
Alyse Myers' story takes place in Queens, NY where she was born and raised along with her 2 sisters. She is the eldest of the three. She was also the target of her mother's wrath. Alyse's parents did not get along, and she and her sisters witnessed many screaming matches between their parents which usually ended by their dad leaving and slamming the door behind him, only for him to return later and ring the doorbell over and over again and yell to be let in. Alyse's mom would yell back, telling him to go away. The three girls would huddle in their room, trying to block out the sounds of their fighting. Alyse slept with a radio under her pillow...her radio was her salvation.
Alyse loved her dad and she was his favorite, further irritating Alyse's mother. Her childhood was an uncertain one, never knowing how her mother was going to react to certain situations. This memoir got its name by a phrase that was spoken to Alyse by her mother all of the time...."Who Do You Think You Are?" Alyse was constantly being accused by her mother of thinking that she was better than everyone else. Determined not to let her mother drag her down, Alyse applied and was accepted at a school for the gifted in Manhattan. She started working part-time jobs, and got her own apartment. She invited her mother to come see her new place, informing her beforehand that she would not be allowed to smoke in the apartment. Her mother did not come.
"My mother married my father when she was nineteen and was a widow at thirty-three. She told me that he was the only man she had ever been with, both before they married and after he died. Even when I was a child, I knew that theirs was a complicated marriage. I wanted to believe they were destined to be together, that their bitter fights had to do with his illness and her inability to cope with it. I didn't want to believe that my parents -- childhood sweethearts -- could end up hating each other with a passion that still frightens and saddens me to this day."
My Thoughts: I could relate to this story on a personal level, as my mom and Alyce's mom are a lot alike. My mom never threw me out of the house, but she was extremely crabby and rude to me growing up. She smoked constantly. She had an unhappy marriage. I was a Daddy's Girl. Alyse's descriptions of her childhood are raw and real. I hurt for her each time she was berated or called nasty names by her mom. I so admire Alyse for her strength and courage to share her story with us. Her memoir will stay with me a very long time.
Alyse loved her dad and she was his favorite, further irritating Alyse's mother. Her childhood was an uncertain one, never knowing how her mother was going to react to certain situations. This memoir got its name by a phrase that was spoken to Alyse by her mother all of the time...."Who Do You Think You Are?" Alyse was constantly being accused by her mother of thinking that she was better than everyone else. Determined not to let her mother drag her down, Alyse applied and was accepted at a school for the gifted in Manhattan. She started working part-time jobs, and got her own apartment. She invited her mother to come see her new place, informing her beforehand that she would not be allowed to smoke in the apartment. Her mother did not come.
"My mother married my father when she was nineteen and was a widow at thirty-three. She told me that he was the only man she had ever been with, both before they married and after he died. Even when I was a child, I knew that theirs was a complicated marriage. I wanted to believe they were destined to be together, that their bitter fights had to do with his illness and her inability to cope with it. I didn't want to believe that my parents -- childhood sweethearts -- could end up hating each other with a passion that still frightens and saddens me to this day."
My Thoughts: I could relate to this story on a personal level, as my mom and Alyce's mom are a lot alike. My mom never threw me out of the house, but she was extremely crabby and rude to me growing up. She smoked constantly. She had an unhappy marriage. I was a Daddy's Girl. Alyse's descriptions of her childhood are raw and real. I hurt for her each time she was berated or called nasty names by her mom. I so admire Alyse for her strength and courage to share her story with us. Her memoir will stay with me a very long time.
June 2, 2009
Who Do You Think You Are?: A Memoir; by Alyse Myers is a wonderful memoir that hooked my from the very first page, and did not let go. I was able to read this deeply moving story all in one day.
The story begins soon after the funeral of the author's mother as Alyse and her two younger sisters are going through the things left behind in their mother's apartment after her death. While two of the sisters are arguing over what to take for themselves, Alyse wants just one thing: a locked wooden box with a skull and crossbones on top of it, that her mother kept buried deep in her closet. Alyse's mother told her when she was thirteen " you can have the box when I am dead. In fact, it will be my present to you". (It is not until years later when Alyse is married and has a daughter about the same age as she was when she became interested in the mystery box, that Alyse and her daughter open the box together to unravel mysteries to her mother's past).
The story travels back in time to when her parents met, their rocky relationship, screaming matches, and how it affected the children. Growing up in a poor high rise in Queens, Alyse watched her unhappy, mother and knew she wanted more for herself out of life. Although Alyse was the apple of her father's eye, he drifted in and out of their lives, leaving her mother more angry and bitter. When her father died when she was only eleven, her mother's anger seemed to be more directed at Alyse.
As a child of the fifties, growing up in the sixties, I could really relate to a lot of the dysfunction Alyse (especially) and her sisters had to endure. She made up her mind early on that she wanted much more from life than what her mother settled for, and when Alyse speaks her mind about how she feels, it causes her mother to respond with anger: "Who Do You Think You Are?"
"Who Do You Think You Are?" is a poignant page turner with an unexpected ending. If you don't mind reading stories about dysfunctional families, try this book out.
This memoir is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 4.5/5 stars
The story begins soon after the funeral of the author's mother as Alyse and her two younger sisters are going through the things left behind in their mother's apartment after her death. While two of the sisters are arguing over what to take for themselves, Alyse wants just one thing: a locked wooden box with a skull and crossbones on top of it, that her mother kept buried deep in her closet. Alyse's mother told her when she was thirteen " you can have the box when I am dead. In fact, it will be my present to you". (It is not until years later when Alyse is married and has a daughter about the same age as she was when she became interested in the mystery box, that Alyse and her daughter open the box together to unravel mysteries to her mother's past).
The story travels back in time to when her parents met, their rocky relationship, screaming matches, and how it affected the children. Growing up in a poor high rise in Queens, Alyse watched her unhappy, mother and knew she wanted more for herself out of life. Although Alyse was the apple of her father's eye, he drifted in and out of their lives, leaving her mother more angry and bitter. When her father died when she was only eleven, her mother's anger seemed to be more directed at Alyse.
As a child of the fifties, growing up in the sixties, I could really relate to a lot of the dysfunction Alyse (especially) and her sisters had to endure. She made up her mind early on that she wanted much more from life than what her mother settled for, and when Alyse speaks her mind about how she feels, it causes her mother to respond with anger: "Who Do You Think You Are?"
"Who Do You Think You Are?" is a poignant page turner with an unexpected ending. If you don't mind reading stories about dysfunctional families, try this book out.
This memoir is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 4.5/5 stars
May 27, 2009
I loved this book. The writing is perfect. She allows us just enough of her father's faults without going into detail, so that we know, she knows.....that in the end he wasn't Mr. Perfect either. This book describes real people, even though the Mother hurt her with terrible words, I had to feel sorry for the Mom even in the first part of the book, which surprised me, I was ready to really hate the Mother. But then, the reality of being home alone with 3 tiny people, 24/7, with little money and no support from her family, her Mom helped a little financially but there didn't seem to be much emotional support. It was the day of, you made your bed, so lie in it. And Dad just left for weeks at a time? and he worked at the post office?? I'd have done more than scream at him...
Her mother was such a tough person, amazing overall, she just didn't know how to express her love for her daughter and indeed her daughter thought she hated her but.......I won't add a spoiler here.....
I gave it five stars because I think it's near perfect writing and a brilliant story about a real family. Ms. Myers is a talented writer.
I loved the ending, I loved what was in the box, I thought that was going to be a big disappointment.....a very satisfying read and totally unexpected. I thought it was going to be another Mommy dearest and glad it wasn't.
Her mother was such a tough person, amazing overall, she just didn't know how to express her love for her daughter and indeed her daughter thought she hated her but.......I won't add a spoiler here.....
I gave it five stars because I think it's near perfect writing and a brilliant story about a real family. Ms. Myers is a talented writer.
I loved the ending, I loved what was in the box, I thought that was going to be a big disappointment.....a very satisfying read and totally unexpected. I thought it was going to be another Mommy dearest and glad it wasn't.
April 30, 2009
Alyse Myers’s memoir is very personal, brave and honest.
This memoir was mainly about Alyse Myers’ rocky relationship with her mother. The eldest of three girls, Alyse adored her father, but hated her mother. Alyse was her father’s favorite, but her mother’s jealousy and anger at the attention he paid to Alyse was something that Alyse would carry with her for the rest of her life.
It begins with her mother’s funeral when she remembers a secured wooden box that her mother kept in her bedroom closet. This is the only item in her mother’s apartment that she wants, but she is afraid what it contains and waits to open it 12 years later with her 15 year old daughter present.
Most of the book is a flashback to the to her years growing up in the 1960’s in a poor section of Queens, New York, when her father was frequently away on business and her mother stayed at home with the children.
I was caught up in this book from the very the beginning and couldn’t put it down. The simple prose enlightens us that no family relationship is perfect and that everyone has their ups and downs. Alyse’s fight to find out who she is and to win her mother’s love is a true mark of perseverance and forgiveness. I highly recommend this book.
This memoir was mainly about Alyse Myers’ rocky relationship with her mother. The eldest of three girls, Alyse adored her father, but hated her mother. Alyse was her father’s favorite, but her mother’s jealousy and anger at the attention he paid to Alyse was something that Alyse would carry with her for the rest of her life.
It begins with her mother’s funeral when she remembers a secured wooden box that her mother kept in her bedroom closet. This is the only item in her mother’s apartment that she wants, but she is afraid what it contains and waits to open it 12 years later with her 15 year old daughter present.
Most of the book is a flashback to the to her years growing up in the 1960’s in a poor section of Queens, New York, when her father was frequently away on business and her mother stayed at home with the children.
I was caught up in this book from the very the beginning and couldn’t put it down. The simple prose enlightens us that no family relationship is perfect and that everyone has their ups and downs. Alyse’s fight to find out who she is and to win her mother’s love is a true mark of perseverance and forgiveness. I highly recommend this book.
January 11, 2010
Although this wasn't exactly my story (no memoir could ever be...why I love them so), but `Who Do You Think You Are,' I recall being a very dominant attitude 'ever so' prevalent in that time. I understood them all, none more so than Alyse's esoteric relationship with her mother. At the very beginning Alyse hoped her mother wouldn't remarry, and then added (which surely was in hinsight later in life), how she didn't realize (though she used the word cared) she was "sentencing her mother to life without parole," which happened to be exactly why I understood her mother. Both suffered from the void companionship fills, which the incident surrounding Alyse losing those earrings proved how long her mother had been locked in that void.
And still I identified with Alyse, a whole lot more, and (at Chapter 21) wanted to find out more than anything what was in the secret box! But here's where I'll drop off with a rippling applause for another great memoir. A very, very (borrowing a word of McCourt's praise) "taut" read! Excellent!
And still I identified with Alyse, a whole lot more, and (at Chapter 21) wanted to find out more than anything what was in the secret box! But here's where I'll drop off with a rippling applause for another great memoir. A very, very (borrowing a word of McCourt's praise) "taut" read! Excellent!
May 20, 2009
This story grabbed me from the first page, the wooden box and it's contents something I needed to know more about. Written in a very conversational manner the story of Alyse and her relationship with mother and father unfolds slowly, its details revealed in much the same way Alyse discovers them. With haunting undertones and an honest voice we see the struggles of Alyse and her mother as she looks back and tries to decide just exactly who she thinks she is and what exactly it is she deserves in life.
I gave this book 3 stars because it is a worthwhile story to read and its very well told, but I'm not sure if I would run out and read another story by this author; It's hard to follow up a memoir with the same kind of feelings and reactions.
I gave this book 3 stars because it is a worthwhile story to read and its very well told, but I'm not sure if I would run out and read another story by this author; It's hard to follow up a memoir with the same kind of feelings and reactions.
March 22, 2010
This was a solid read. It was a nice change of pace for me, going from some pretty intense fictions to someone's memoirs, a genre I often don't explore. I loved the tone of this book - the realness of the author and her family. It wasn't glamorized or horrified. She went into enough detail without overwhelming me. She explored relationships that are common relationships - mother/daughter, father/daughter, sister, grandfather/granddaughter. It was raw, it was real, and I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed her thanks at the end and the fact that she said that was wants others to be inspired to write their own memoirs -- and that she wants to read them. It was a neat little addition to the reading experience for me, and it has definitely made me want to read more memoirs/non-fiction books.
October 7, 2008
Who Do You Think You Are? is a memoir of Alyse Myers' relationship with her mother. Growing up Alyse's parents were always fighting and then her father died at the age of thirty-four when Alyse was eleven. Alyse never wanted anything, but to NOT have a life like her mother's. As soon as she turned 18 she moved out on her own and worked her way through college. It wasn't until Alyse married and had a daughter of her own that she and her mother could finally begin to reconnect - both of them now mothers. Only then could Alyse really what her mother went through and how much she did love her and her sisters.
October 10, 2009
Myers' memoir begins with her parents' troubled marriage. Her father passes away in his mid-thirties when Myers is eleven. Myers' mother was a young widow with three young daughters to raise, Alyse being the eldest, and the relationship between mother and daughter was rocky, to put it mildly.
Some reviews have criticized Alyse's behavior as a child, but my feeling was that she was simply mirroring what she saw in her environment and became a product of that dysfunctional situation.
There's a profound message of forgiveness and understanding through wisdom that can only be gained after a few decades of reflection of our own life experiences.
Some reviews have criticized Alyse's behavior as a child, but my feeling was that she was simply mirroring what she saw in her environment and became a product of that dysfunctional situation.
There's a profound message of forgiveness and understanding through wisdom that can only be gained after a few decades of reflection of our own life experiences.
February 19, 2010
This is a memoir coupled with a mystery. Alyse's childhood was not happy, with her father's illness, mother's resentment and constant fighting and bickering. When she discovers a wooden box in her mothers closet after her death, she hopes the contents of the box will answer her questions about her parents, their choices, and her relationship with her mother. She tells the story in two voices, one as a girl and the other as an adult. At times I found it simplistic, but it must have been cathartic for the author as she strove to come to grips with her emotions and how she matures to adulthood.
January 29, 2009
This book was really easy to read. It reminded me a lot of The Glass Castle and a little like Three Little Words. It was like listening to a friend tell a story - and never wanting it to end. Speaking of which, the end was just kind of "meh". But I gave it four stars since it kept my attention and I finished it in one day because I was so interested in finding out what happens to the author.
February 27, 2009
Alyse and her mother don't get along. The mother is always comparing her to the dad, especially after he dies at 33. Her mother is so pathetic, it's truly amazing how she carries on with her life each day sitting at the kitchen table, smoking and drinking her coffee. While cleaning out her mother's house after her death, Alyse comes across a box that her mother wanted to hide from her. She takes it home, but is afraid to open it.
January 24, 2012
Totally didn't realize it during the first pages of this book that it's a book about love.
Alyse's mom's parenting skills seem to sway from mediocre to craziness. (Telling a young teenager to get out of her house for one thing) Though it traces the sometimes unbearable relationship between Alyse and her mother, there are insights here for all of us.
Alyse learned to understand her mom and not hate her right before her mother's death.
Alyse's mom's parenting skills seem to sway from mediocre to craziness. (Telling a young teenager to get out of her house for one thing) Though it traces the sometimes unbearable relationship between Alyse and her mother, there are insights here for all of us.
Alyse learned to understand her mom and not hate her right before her mother's death.
July 23, 2012
I read this book because I am always after a good family mystery. Before I even began reading it, I wanted to know what was in that box! The intrigue of the box slowly faded while I instead got pulled into her beautiful, sad story. I was pleasantly surprised, this isnt a typical read for me. This book will make you want to call your mother and tell her how much you appreciate her, no matter what your relationship is like.
March 29, 2011
This was an easy to read book and I did like it although I felt like I was reading an eighth grade essay. The author was born the same year that I was, so there was identification with her about the culture at the time. I felt that it lacked feeling, I felt ambivalent towards her family, which I guess is the point!
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August 11, 2011This was an interesting memoir - no matter how dysfunctional your family was, or how crazy you think your mother is/was, this one is probably worse. It is hard to feel any sympathy for the mother in this book, yet somehow her daughter develops it as she becomes a mother herself. Good for her, because I'm not sure I would have, if it had been me.
July 27, 2013
Even though this memoir deals with some rather emotionally charged memories and situations, I really enjoyed reading it. It's a fast and thoroughly engaging book that had me hooked from the first page. The author even inspired me to write my own memoir, or at least put my childhood memories to paper.
July 25, 2008
This was a sad memoir of a girl growing up at odds with an angry mother and how after her mother's death, she was able to make her peace. The reader on the audio was terrific. But the book was a little dark for me.
June 27, 2009
A very intersting book about mothers and daughters....and a family with a mentally ill husband/father who dies young.......and the hardships suffered by the Mom and daughters without many social services...a very tough time
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July 30, 2009Sad, crazy...but I couldn't put it down. It's one of those "don't talk to me 'cuz I'm reading" books. Well written memoir of emotional (and physical) abuse and what we, as grown children, need to (and have to) do to survive. A must read for grown daughters!
July 1, 2010
Although the writing wasn't awful, the story was only marginally interesting, and I never really go the point. Especially why anyone would publish this. It's not terrible, just not significant or compelling.
July 15, 2011
Promising writer; I'll be sure to look out for more from her. I chose it because Frank McCourt gave his approval. Jarring story about the complex relationship between mother & daughter. Only wish it hadn't hit so close to home.
July 11, 2009
I really loved this book. It is a wonderful example of how parents are perceived first by their children, and then later when those children become adults. Good reminder about making judgements.
July 21, 2010
I think I'm on a memoir kick lately, but this book was pretty interesting. The mother sounds like such a complete monster, though, that you have to wonder how exactly reliable the narrator is.
October 5, 2010
This was a really good book and a very fast read. It was light while touching on sad subjects, but it still felt very satisfying even though it only took me a few days to read. I do recommend it.
July 30, 2019
Another book given to me by someone else; probably not one I would've chosen on my own. I decided to read it because I've had a bumpy relationship at times with my own mother and was curious what the author's experiences were. After finishing the book, I don't necessarily think her mother was always good to her, but I also don't think she was good to her mother. I also found out somewhat irritating that she said she wanted to be closer to her mother or wanted to talk to her about their commonalities, but then continued to behave in the same way towards her. How can you expect things to change at all if you continue to act the same way you always did? Only after her mother's death is she remorseful that it's "too late" to connect with her. You knew she was dying and had plenty of time to talk to her or try to reconcile your relationship! Overall, I thought the book was ok, not bad, but not really good. I probably wouldn't recommend it to others.
August 25, 2019
This book was engaging and well-written, and sad. After I finished reading it, my 10 year old daughter picked it up and read it too! It sparked some conversations. Slight spoiler alert:
I did not believe the ending.. it was too cut and dry, too neat, too easy. I mean, dying of cancer is not easy, but the way the author was able to come to terms with her mother's life and her abuse was a little too clean and easy. I feel like there must have been a lot more going on than she wrote about at that point. That did not feel real to me. But that's ok, I still liked the book. I just kept wondering if the publisher insisted on a more uplifting ending than the author had in mind.
I did not believe the ending.. it was too cut and dry, too neat, too easy. I mean, dying of cancer is not easy, but the way the author was able to come to terms with her mother's life and her abuse was a little too clean and easy. I feel like there must have been a lot more going on than she wrote about at that point. That did not feel real to me. But that's ok, I still liked the book. I just kept wondering if the publisher insisted on a more uplifting ending than the author had in mind.
July 9, 2021
**Trigger warning: there is descriptions of child abuse.**
I loved reading about what it was like to grow up in the 1960's in a small apartment in the middle of Queens with parents that hated each other (and their kids) most of the time. It was not a happy family, but the author was a survivor. I found her story moving.
The descriptions and stories in the book make it sound like the author was just there yesterday. Well worth my time.
I loved reading about what it was like to grow up in the 1960's in a small apartment in the middle of Queens with parents that hated each other (and their kids) most of the time. It was not a happy family, but the author was a survivor. I found her story moving.
The descriptions and stories in the book make it sound like the author was just there yesterday. Well worth my time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews