3.8/5 - What a graphically beautiful book in both senses. Each of the three stories starts with a two-page PG pin up lounging pool (or blood) side. Easing us in w/ Sweet, Arlo gets a pug puppy named Clyde as a li’l kid and we see their cute blips until adulthood. I’m not usually a sucker for the easy emotional manipulation of pet death, third person POV, or ghost stories but things have plenty of verve. Love the Tampa frat setting, the quirky anecdotes and phrasings (like Arlo’s loaf of a twist-tailed dog peeing on smaller ones). The Wiccan-ish mom is a decent touch to make the vibe less silly than having some rando warn him about creepy college houses. The dialogue is a smidge cheesy but I suppose it’s intentional for humor’s sake. Though the reactions can be too dampened or non-existent around gore. We need more WTFs, less cliche bodily reactions than tripping and chills. Also, I know helplessness is meant by the phrase “lusty cries,” but it’s just awkward said about babies and sleepy dogs.
The POV starts to follow the ghost dog more and it’s cute but inherently goofy, so not for me, and an odd juxtaposition w/ glossed over gore and incest, then the fast, supernatural movement of time. Could make a quirky TV movie; I just prefer such silliness contained to cartoons. Sour is the next story that opens with a gluttonous nude man called Giggli putting something called a labium (Google says a lip like structure) around his…junk. Straightaway it seems implied he’d eat his own semen and kills women, all kind of a joke to him, which is funny but obv a lot to process in an opener. Especially when the POV immediately changes to someone else in first person labeled HER (but is HER the therapist narrator or the woman they’re talking to? Can’t tell their gender and everything til later.) We get to the torture fast though, which seems original and paired with pretty floral descriptions. Seems some tool and anatomical research went into this. Now this is splatterpunk, lots of mutilation/amputation and rather detailed rape with taunting, crazy man dialogue. Mukbang Princess by Rayne Havoc (my first Splatterpunk read) was already pretty mild or basic (that’s not a knock, it was just tiny and predictable from the title), but this cranks things to where they should be in terms of gore for the genre, timing, and creativity. (Though it was unclear for too long the girl was pregnant at all, and what her relationship is to the other POV/characters, especially since the other victim seems so similar, I confuse them.)
Nonetheless, things unfold steadily and I like the female detective (you don’t see it often) and purported care of the therapist. It’s quaint that the butcher isn’t a liter bug but loves to cut off live vaginas to make Fleshlight contraptions and panties. Quite the 180 from the last story, so author Bridgett Nelson definitely has range. The killer relishes telling the victims what he’ll do, making lots of surprisingly funny statements like getting fed up that the girls are like messy piddling pets—and OMG the things he does with squirrels. I’ll never look at Sandy Cheeks the same. The end is a huge twist, which makes it worth a reread to see how it all tracks. Great strong female characters in unexpected places and backgrounds. Now the last story (all of equal length): Spicy. The beautiful opening art promises sex but we must curb our cravings a minute because we open with the macabre beauty of blood dripping into a dead open eyeball. Very Italian horror movie level artistic.
The names Isla and Oaklyn are cool but I wish the genders and relationships were squared away immediately because I could def see those reading as rich/hippie boy names. (They go to Columbia, after all.) The remoteness of the A-frame getaway is foreshadowed well, along with the friend’s forgetfulness leading to interesting characterization to imagine what happens after the story ends. I’d def wanna spend a swinging double-date weekend here among the beanbags, sun-warm lake porches, and modern cabin with all the girly amenities. The pace and dynamics are perfect. Though the guys at times seem weirdly conservative about vanilla things, we can assume it’s about preserving their friendship and not wanting to make the other jealous. This book is formatted as top-tier as a traditionally published book with only a couple dialogue punctuation errors. The tone that starts light with levity does a good job of always kicking things up a notch to transition darker. The normal actions tie nicely into the torture later. Specific and resourceful. I think it went exactly far enough (story two’s saw rape in the woods was more draconian, whereas this always maintained at least a modicum of comedy so you wouldn’t get nauseous). This story was the best and makes me wanna see another where a guy revenge-tortures girls as crazy as these, but we’re on his side. It’d be hard—but not impossible—to pull off. I think this author can do it!