Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics

by Julia Sadusky

One of the most difficult challenges we may face as parents is to have that first “talk” with our kids. You know the one—discussing their changing bodies and sex for the first time. When do we begin? Where do we start? How do we do it in a way that makes sure they have the information they need, doesn’t make them (or us) feel overwhelming shame, and forms them in Catholic teaching? In Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex , clinical psychologist Julia Sadusky will answer questions you may have and give you the boost of confidence you need as you have foundational conversations with your elementary-age children long before they hit puberty. As Christians, we believe that the body is a blessing and a gift from God—and worth protecting—from the beginning of life. But many parents and educators wait until puberty to begin conversations with kids about sexuality and relationship boundaries. We miss opportunities along the way to reinforce their body’s goodness—like when young children discover their most intimate body parts, for example. We might react out of fear and embarrassment because we don’t know how to respond calmly. Sadusky says we have to be proactive about providing our children a healthy understanding of the goodness of their bodies and offering them ways to respond if someone doesn’t respect their boundaries. If we don’t, our discussions about sexuality end up being too little, too late. By the time puberty hits, children will have learned from culture, social media, and sometimes, early experiences of trauma. Our failure to engage well in these conversations earlier has significant consequences. Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex is one of only a few resources focused on these issues. It is organized in a question-and-answer format, making it easy for you to begin with the topic that’s most pertinent at the time. It will help you identify barriers to these conversations with a child. You’ll be able to draw from concrete scripts addressing everything from responding to questions about genitalia, exploratory play, sexual abuse, and technology use. With each chapter, the content will help you grow your courage and practical knowledge. This go-to resource is structured around the most frequently asked questions Sadusky receives in her clinical practice, including   An appendix offers additional resources for parents. While the book is geared toward parents, extended family members, caregivers, mentors, mental health professionals, and educators also will find the information helpful.

Genres: Parenting, Sexuality

192 pages, Paperback

Published November 3, 2023

Reviews

[Lucas Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feels like a must read. Did so much more for me than helping me learn practical ways to help guide my child have a healthy view of their bodies and human sexuality. Helped just general posture of having tough conversations and caring less about what people think when their opinions don’t matter. Brought some courage.

[Heidi Mussoline · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, albeit difficult, read. It was so simple, so practical, and so deeply rooted in the truth of the human person in the image and likeness of God, but so much of it just hurt my heart, simply because of the sinfulness in my heart and in the world. This is a resource we will come back to again and again, especially to seek to respond to developmental curiosity with gratitude and wonder instead of shame.

[Avanell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good tips for talking to your under 10 yo about sex, will be interested to read the sequel about how to talk to teens.

[Carol Standish-Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book is guide for catholic parents, it does have value for non-catholic families. The book is not biblically based, but I don’t feel that this is enough of a reason to leave a poor review. I was particularly impressed with the chapter on what to do / how to respond to a disclosure of unwanted touching. It also helps the reader set boundaries and deals with helping children develop the power and understanding to say no to adults. The author encourages the use of correct terminology of genitalia. I do wish this book had been around when y children were younger. Too often we use our embarrassment of the subject matter as an excuse not to educate our children about their bodies and sex.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A how-to for creating a Catholic family culture where conversations about bodies, sex, and boundaries feel normal and the tragic realities of our world (e. g. abuse, pornography exposure at very young ages, etc) are addressed in age-appropriate ways. This book not only gives suggestions of what to say and how to say it, but also compassionately acknowledges that these conversations are often challenging for parents. It invites a gentle curiosity about what gets in the way for parents themselves rather than merely instructing about what to say or do. In my opinion, that’s the biggest strength of this book - giving parents a roadmap to becoming comfortable with the conversations they want to have.

[Madeline Giancola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex is the perfect guide for Catholic parents of young kids. It breaks down many situations with ideas of how to approach them to set up your child for success. I really enjoyed the chapter about boundaries and how to teach them. This book will become a go to recommendation for other Catholic moms.

[Caitlin Furey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Got this from David’s brother Michael for Mother’s Day. SUPER practical, with conversations/talking points basically scripted out. Intended for ages 0-12, with lots of rules/boundaries to prevent abuse. We have lots to talk about with E. before she starts preschool in the fall! David has agreed to read too. This is so important!

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book for parents of kids aged 0-10 to model age-appropriate conversations about the gift of our bodies and sex. Julia covers talking about body parts, gender, sleepovers and family rules, where babies come from, and setting boundaries. Looking forward to the second book for ages 11-18.

[Noah Armbruster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly what every parent should read before and during easing their child. FYI not specific to Catholic’s

Any Christian would massively benefit from it xx

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good content, well presented. Appreciate the direct approach and the reinforcement that Christian love and charity are paramount, even as justice is a requirement for all humans.

[Jeannie Voth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this book!! Honestly the most helpful parenting book I’ve ever read. Leaves you with lots of knowledge and practical steps.

[Alice Moeller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for Christian parents.

[Cheyenne Hamel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really appreciated these elements of this book:

Protection of children’s privacy, prevention of sexual abuse, boundary setting scripts for parents (both with their kids and other adults), prevention and response to bullying for both kids and adults, and prevention of shame messaging for kids about sex, gender, and sexual orientation, etc