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Somebody's Daughter
An adopted girl raised by a Lutheran couple in Minnesota returns to Korea for a semester studying abroad in college and finds herself caught up in the search for her birth mother and a sincere effort to reclaim her heritage. 10,000 first printing.
Hardcover
First published January 1, 2005
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581 people want to read
About the author
Marie Myung-Ok Lee
8 books251 followersMarie Myung-Ok Lee is an acclaimed Korean American writer and author of the young adult novel Finding my Voice, thought to be the first contemporary-set Asian American YA novel. She is one of a handful of American journalists who have been granted a visa to North Korea since the Korean War. She was the first Fulbright Scholar to Korea in creative writing and has received many honors for her work, including an O. Henry honorable mention, the Best Book Award from the Friends of American Writers, and a New York Foundation for the Arts fiction fellowship. Her stories and essays have been published in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Slate, Salon, Guernica, The Paris Review, The Nation, and The Guardian, among others. Marie is a founder of the Asian American Writers’ Workshop and teaches creative writing at Columbia. She lives in New York City with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
March 16, 2012
I honestly HATED this book. It had some cultural insights at times and a different writing style than most books (since it switched back and forth from the point of views of Sarah and Kyung-sook), but the majority of the book was nonsense. Too many characters were introduced without be developed fully. ** POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT**
For instance, there are multiple minor characters in the book named Jeannie, who are only mentioned a few times in the book saying unimportant things which could have easily been replaced by any other character. Since the book was fictitious, I didn’t understand why the author just didn’t find another name or why she had so many. The characters she did develop had weak, corrupted personalities, which was a real problem since it made the reader not really care what happened to them. I couldn’t connect with the characters. For instance, the main character, Sarah, was a failure at college mostly due to laziness than any mental or physical handicap. I absolutely hated her... if this book wasn't assigned for school, I would have given up after a few pages. She was cold to her foster parents and her sister because she envies their happiness and how they all fit in with each other while she doesn’t. She let her college tuition go down the drain and is wasteful enough to throw away the food her foster family sends her in the trash, unopened. She hangs up on her American family when they call to see if she arrived alright, pretending that the phone line got disconnected. When I first began reading, I thought that Sarah’s personality would gradually improve by the end of the book -- that she would have learned something from her experience. Instead, the book just went downhill.
The worst flaw of the book was the rambling content. The author frequently strayed too far away from the plot, often adding pornographic scenes which do not further the story at all, and sometimes making the reader question the sanity of the author and why she included these useless scenes. Again, there was something lacking with the characters – none of them were role models. Sarah became friends with two guys – Doug, who is half-American and half-Korean, and Jun-Ho Kim, a soldier-in-training who is eager to learn English. Sarah slept with Doug and then she suddenly decided to cheat on him one day with Jun-Ho because he was a full-Korean while Doug was biracial?!?! Does this make any sense? What is this book promoting?? She does this without either of the guys’ knowledge and feels little guilt. Doug is a smoker, who ignores the fact that it is destroying his lungs, and both Doug and Jun-Ho Kim curse randomly throughout their dialogue. I failed to see how this related to the plot or theme of Korean/American culture at all. Sarah could have well searched for her mother without these additions.
Meanwhile, Kyung-sook, her mother was a little better in her youth but not much. She ran away from the university that her family had worked so hard to put her in because the other pupils told her that she smelled. The obvious solution to this would be to (1) wash your clothes or (2) to ignore them, but Kyung-sook decided that her best option would be to run away and improvise for work as she went along. She then went and got herself pregnant with an American. She was possibly better than Sarah in that she truly believed that he was going to marry her, which he never did. Since the child would be deemed illegitimate and biracial, which was inacceptable in her family circle, she considered abortion, but she found that she couldn’t pay. However, Kyung-sook did decide to keep the child and grieved when she was taken away from her, so she was slightly higher in my opinion than Sarah. In all, it almost seems that the book supports illegitimacy, abortions, smoking, college dropouts, backstabbers, cursing, and love affairs. All these somehow became involved with the story of Sarah Thorston, a 19-year-old girl studying abroad, on her way to find her mother. It could have been a much improved story if the author cut back on a lot of this disturbing, unneeded information.
At the end, Sarah remained the same self-centered person to start with and possibly less honorable, which made the book have sort of a pointless finish. Nothing was accomplished by the end; there was no proper resolution, which is my opinion makes for a poor story. Sarah Thorston NEVER found her mother and NEVER learned anything from the trip... The only positive comment would be that the story included bits about culture and customs from the point of view of a foreigner (Sarah) and from the perspective of an ordinary Korean villager (Kyung-sook). In short, Somebody’s Daughter was a disappointing book, one that I would definitely not recommend to anyone. The positive reviews on the book cover clearly were skewed. The one-star I give this book is grade-wise an F, similar to Sarah’s grades, because that was really all it deserved.
For instance, there are multiple minor characters in the book named Jeannie, who are only mentioned a few times in the book saying unimportant things which could have easily been replaced by any other character. Since the book was fictitious, I didn’t understand why the author just didn’t find another name or why she had so many. The characters she did develop had weak, corrupted personalities, which was a real problem since it made the reader not really care what happened to them. I couldn’t connect with the characters. For instance, the main character, Sarah, was a failure at college mostly due to laziness than any mental or physical handicap. I absolutely hated her... if this book wasn't assigned for school, I would have given up after a few pages. She was cold to her foster parents and her sister because she envies their happiness and how they all fit in with each other while she doesn’t. She let her college tuition go down the drain and is wasteful enough to throw away the food her foster family sends her in the trash, unopened. She hangs up on her American family when they call to see if she arrived alright, pretending that the phone line got disconnected. When I first began reading, I thought that Sarah’s personality would gradually improve by the end of the book -- that she would have learned something from her experience. Instead, the book just went downhill.
The worst flaw of the book was the rambling content. The author frequently strayed too far away from the plot, often adding pornographic scenes which do not further the story at all, and sometimes making the reader question the sanity of the author and why she included these useless scenes. Again, there was something lacking with the characters – none of them were role models. Sarah became friends with two guys – Doug, who is half-American and half-Korean, and Jun-Ho Kim, a soldier-in-training who is eager to learn English. Sarah slept with Doug and then she suddenly decided to cheat on him one day with Jun-Ho because he was a full-Korean while Doug was biracial?!?! Does this make any sense? What is this book promoting?? She does this without either of the guys’ knowledge and feels little guilt. Doug is a smoker, who ignores the fact that it is destroying his lungs, and both Doug and Jun-Ho Kim curse randomly throughout their dialogue. I failed to see how this related to the plot or theme of Korean/American culture at all. Sarah could have well searched for her mother without these additions.
Meanwhile, Kyung-sook, her mother was a little better in her youth but not much. She ran away from the university that her family had worked so hard to put her in because the other pupils told her that she smelled. The obvious solution to this would be to (1) wash your clothes or (2) to ignore them, but Kyung-sook decided that her best option would be to run away and improvise for work as she went along. She then went and got herself pregnant with an American. She was possibly better than Sarah in that she truly believed that he was going to marry her, which he never did. Since the child would be deemed illegitimate and biracial, which was inacceptable in her family circle, she considered abortion, but she found that she couldn’t pay. However, Kyung-sook did decide to keep the child and grieved when she was taken away from her, so she was slightly higher in my opinion than Sarah. In all, it almost seems that the book supports illegitimacy, abortions, smoking, college dropouts, backstabbers, cursing, and love affairs. All these somehow became involved with the story of Sarah Thorston, a 19-year-old girl studying abroad, on her way to find her mother. It could have been a much improved story if the author cut back on a lot of this disturbing, unneeded information.
At the end, Sarah remained the same self-centered person to start with and possibly less honorable, which made the book have sort of a pointless finish. Nothing was accomplished by the end; there was no proper resolution, which is my opinion makes for a poor story. Sarah Thorston NEVER found her mother and NEVER learned anything from the trip... The only positive comment would be that the story included bits about culture and customs from the point of view of a foreigner (Sarah) and from the perspective of an ordinary Korean villager (Kyung-sook). In short, Somebody’s Daughter was a disappointing book, one that I would definitely not recommend to anyone. The positive reviews on the book cover clearly were skewed. The one-star I give this book is grade-wise an F, similar to Sarah’s grades, because that was really all it deserved.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 2, 2008
The perspective of a Korean-American adoptee (in this case female) returning to Korea as an adult to complete her identity is a familiar one--and done remarkably well by Lee--the struggles with language and customs and culture as an outsider.
But the surprise of this novel is Lee's ability to set up a second perspective, that of Korean mother who gave up the baby for adoption, and knows the culture from the inside as everyday. Research in Korea (on a Fulbright) gave Lee the chance to interview such mothers, and is transformed through the novelist's imagination into a believable composite. We follow the character of the mother as a young woman who leaves her village to stay with a Christian aunt in Seoul, who has a gift for music and dreams of becoming a famous artist on the traditional Korean flute, who strikes out on her own and works in a restaurant, and later is taken up by an American peace corps man, who leaves her when she becomes pregnant; at which point she is forced back to her family in the village in secret shame. The way Lee manages her plot, as the birth mother and the adult daughter come closer and closer to meeting, creates gripping suspense, and is resolved in a profound way.
But the surprise of this novel is Lee's ability to set up a second perspective, that of Korean mother who gave up the baby for adoption, and knows the culture from the inside as everyday. Research in Korea (on a Fulbright) gave Lee the chance to interview such mothers, and is transformed through the novelist's imagination into a believable composite. We follow the character of the mother as a young woman who leaves her village to stay with a Christian aunt in Seoul, who has a gift for music and dreams of becoming a famous artist on the traditional Korean flute, who strikes out on her own and works in a restaurant, and later is taken up by an American peace corps man, who leaves her when she becomes pregnant; at which point she is forced back to her family in the village in secret shame. The way Lee manages her plot, as the birth mother and the adult daughter come closer and closer to meeting, creates gripping suspense, and is resolved in a profound way.
August 31, 2010
I was really disappointed with this book. I can think of 5 of my friends off the top of my head that were in the main character's position (korean, adopted by white family in US) and NONE of them have ever had the attitudes this main character had. It looks like the author researched a lot about the authenticity of the mother's situation and totally made up the girl's story. Don't bother reading this book.
October 19, 2009
This book was a tough read for me, not because the book isn't good -- it's terrific -- but because the subject matter is close to my heart. As the mom of two beautiful Korean-born children, the story of Sarah's search for meaning and purpose in her life tears at my heart. From the start, it is obvious to me that Sarah has never felt as if she belongs in her adoptive family. Combine that with her parents feeling threatened by anything having to do with Sarah's past and beginnings in Korea and my heart just breaks. As Sarah travels to Korea and decides to search for information about her past, I can't help but think of my kids and their birthmothers -- two women who gave us a gift we can never repay.
My hope as I read this book is for adoptive parents everywhere -- that they will be as honest with their children as possible about their origins, no matter how badly the truth might hurt. In the end, trying to cover up the truth can lead to even more heartache.
For my children, I have always promised them the truth. There are things that I will not be able to tell them because I don't have the information, but I will never hide the things I do know from them. They deserve better than that. It is my hope that they never feel that they do not belong in this family, that I am not proud of their heritage, or that they are somehow inferior. And when and if the day comes that I am told they want to search for their birthmothers, I want to be the one who boldly stands beside them and helps them look for the answers they desire without feeling threatened by their desire. At the end of the day, I am the person who clothes them, feeds them, loves them, laughs with them and cries with them. I am their mother. Nothing -- and no one -- will ever change that.
My hope as I read this book is for adoptive parents everywhere -- that they will be as honest with their children as possible about their origins, no matter how badly the truth might hurt. In the end, trying to cover up the truth can lead to even more heartache.
For my children, I have always promised them the truth. There are things that I will not be able to tell them because I don't have the information, but I will never hide the things I do know from them. They deserve better than that. It is my hope that they never feel that they do not belong in this family, that I am not proud of their heritage, or that they are somehow inferior. And when and if the day comes that I am told they want to search for their birthmothers, I want to be the one who boldly stands beside them and helps them look for the answers they desire without feeling threatened by their desire. At the end of the day, I am the person who clothes them, feeds them, loves them, laughs with them and cries with them. I am their mother. Nothing -- and no one -- will ever change that.
August 9, 2011
While I really enjoyed the author's insights into Korean culture and adoption, I found the depiction of Sarah's Minnesota family to be cartoonish, flat and angry. The novel was engaging after the first 50 pages or so, and I especially liked Kyung-Sook's story. I did find myself lost in a sea of overwrought similes and metaphors, ("...their bodies fit together as nicely as the yin-yang symbol on their country's flag...." and "...her face broke out in a smile, so wide it turned her eyes into black tildes that might grace a word like manana"), but overall a good read.
October 7, 2008
I was so excited to read this book as the topic was very interesting to me. However, I struggled to finish the book. It felt like the stories started to drag on and on with no real conclusion. I liked the way the author lead us through the lives of the two characters, but was disappointed in the ending; For me it was too matter of fact, no drama or excitement.
August 21, 2010
I was riveted by Marie Myung-Ok Lee's sophisticated telling of the story of a Korean adoptee's quest to find her birth mother. The book in fact tells two stories: that of Sarah Thorson, who was adopted as an infant by a white family in Minnesota, and that of Kyung-sook, her Korean birth mother. The stories are told in alternate chapters, in different time periods. As Sarah travels to Seoul with only the vaguest idea of how to find her birth mother, Marie Lee allows the reader to explore Korean culture along with Sarah. I learned quite a lot about Korean society, language and food this way, but the story-telling was never didactic and the many characters Sarah encounters are well-developed and quite interesting. They are neither all good nor all bad, but complex, real, and intriguing. Kyung-sook's story reveals the hardships that a poor pregnant woman had to endure in a small village and the courage that it took to give up her baby for adoption with the hope her child would have a better life. Somebody's Daughter tackles big, hard issues: racism, sexism, poverty, transnational adoption. But the novel remains first and foremost the story of its fascinating, complicated and intelligent protagonist.
October 10, 2008
This is a very entertaining story about Sarah Thorson, a woman who was born in Korea but was adopted by a Minnesota family. With her identity problems, she decides to visit Korea to study Korean and try to find out something about her birth mother. When she finds out that her mother did not die in an accident as she'd always been told, she sets out to find her mother. Meanwhile, the novel also tells the story of Kyung-sook, and how many years earlier she became pregnant and had to give up her baby. The author uses a lot of Korean--which I enjoyed, since I've spent a lot of time in the country--and mentions lots of place names, foods, musical instruments, but these things are almost always clear in the context since the protagonist is also learning, just as the reader is. A nicely made fiction.
April 27, 2011
Parts of this book are really good. The author clearly knows the ins and outs of Korean culture and did a good job switches voices between a 20-something Korean-American adoptee who returns to Seoul find her birth mother and a 40-something Korean peasant who recalls her younger self trying to make a way in Seoul twenty years earlier. I liked this book, but really had a problem with the label "young adult". I would never allow a preteen or young teen to read a novel with this much sex, language and cultural misogyny. Also, the adopted daughter had a major chip on her shoulder that isn't really explained. Yes, she felt out of place in Minnesota, but her hatred of her adoptive family seemed out of proportion and the author didn't explore the relationship between the girl and her American mother. Still, the story was engaging and worth the read.
January 30, 2015
The timeline for how long Sarah was away was confusing because many of the activities sounded like they were occurring in a seamless flow, yet at the end it was stated she was gone a full year. A year of her selfishly not contacting her parents to let them know how she was doing and contempt for them trying to keep communicating with her.
I was disappointed that the birth mother took all those steps to locate Sarah after the episode aired but lied to the show when asked if she knew anything about the baby. If she'd admitted it then things would have been smoother for both ladies.
In the end of her time in Korea Sarah returned to the US just as unsure of herself & lost to who she could have been as she was when she first touched down and still sporting her ungrateful attitude towards her adoptive parents.
I was disappointed that the birth mother took all those steps to locate Sarah after the episode aired but lied to the show when asked if she knew anything about the baby. If she'd admitted it then things would have been smoother for both ladies.
In the end of her time in Korea Sarah returned to the US just as unsure of herself & lost to who she could have been as she was when she first touched down and still sporting her ungrateful attitude towards her adoptive parents.
August 15, 2018
I loved this book.It takes a minute to get into it because there are two stories going on, and not being Korean, it took me a minute to figure out the way they referred to each other when it was translated to English.The book is fictional, but as someone waiting to adopt from a foreign country I think it is full of important ideas about what my child may feel as an adult.Aside from that, it's just a really good, really moving story, and it didn't leave me feeling badly about adopting trans-racially, which I was initially worried about.The writing flows nicely too, and is an easy read once you get used to the way the Korean side of the tale is written.:)Di
November 29, 2018
Heartwarming story of an adopted Korean girl by a family in Minnesota. The young woman had a strong desire to learn more about her Korean roots and possibly to find her biological mother. She choose to spend time in Korea after dropping out of college. She spent time in Korea learning the culture and at one time thought she had found her mother. There are two stories -
Sarah the daughter and Kyung the mother who gave her up at birth. No Sarah did not fine Kyung before she left Korea. I was worried that the story would end if they did meet. Made a better story that they did not. I wish there had been more information about the Korean culture though.
Sarah the daughter and Kyung the mother who gave her up at birth. No Sarah did not fine Kyung before she left Korea. I was worried that the story would end if they did meet. Made a better story that they did not. I wish there had been more information about the Korean culture though.
April 8, 2008
I read Somebody's Daughter when it first came out. I'm going to have to reread it, but the memory that remains is of a grand adventure in self-discovery. Great writing. One of the books in my *permanent* collection.
January 29, 2013
I really liked the way this book was organized and the plot was nice and heartfelt. The ending was a bit disappointing only because it didn't end up how I wanted. :-) it was nice to learn of another culture.
December 6, 2013
Despite the initial excitement about this book, I have to admit that the book left me feeling frustrated. In my opinion, the main character, Sarah, was grossly underdeveloped and the ending did not provide a satisfying conclusion. It just did not work for me. :(
May 20, 2007
i loved the angst, the sardonic tone, and the (mother-child) love story. i loved that sarah never learns to say "i love you."
i don't know why but i really dislike the cover.
i don't know why but i really dislike the cover.
December 11, 2007
I really liked the parallel stories and the sense of loss that haunts both the birth mother's and her daughter's lives. The details of life in modern Korea were fascinating.
January 19, 2021
adoption, korea, america, family
old
young
perspectives
old
young
perspectives
abandoned-reads
December 1, 2008It didn't capture my attention and found myself able to put the book down quickly and forget about it.
October 30, 2008
I read this because Cliff suggested it...and I wasn't disappointed. This showed wonderful insight into Korean culture, and ended on an unexpected note. A lovely story.
April 10, 2009
this was ok. didn't really speak to me on a personal level as i'm neither korean nor adopted but i liked the insight into korean life as i've never been but always wanted to go.
November 6, 2009
Meh. The plot was pretty uninspired and many of the characters were wooden. I did appreciate the look I got into Korean culture, which I why I picked up the book in the first place.
October 14, 2011
I thought this book was going to be a little more interesting. I've read a few chapters and I just can't seem to stay focussed in this book. Most likely not going to finish this one. oh well.
June 10, 2011
Passionate and sobering; a look at a country at a loss with relationship.
May 1, 2012
I started to read this book and couldn't even begin to like the main character - an 18 year old girl adopted by Americans from Korea - so I stopped!
October 31, 2012
Interesting subject and thought the book was well written. Your heart will ache got Sarah.
October 18, 2015
Personally, it was not one of my favorites.
December 14, 2019
Page turner, well written
May 3, 2011
Phenomenal! This book follows in the footsteps of authors Amy Tan, Richard Wright, Toni Morrison, and Chang Rae Lee in dealing with issues of cultural identity. It’s a beautiful introduction into Korean culture and a moving story about a young woman searching for her birth mother. The conclusion pleasantly surprised me by being realistic. I respect her for not spoon-feeding me a fluffy ending. The Korean proverbs quoted were quite beautiful and meaningful and the characters were deeply moving as well. I highly recommend this novel.
I’ll blog more about this in my next book review on The Demon Stole My Pencil.
http://norabpeevy.blogspot.com/2011/0...
I’ll blog more about this in my next book review on The Demon Stole My Pencil.
http://norabpeevy.blogspot.com/2011/0...
May 16, 2013
I was looking for a work of fiction useful to becoming familiar with Korean life & culture. This story of an adoptee's search for identity (and Korean birth mother) during a year spent in Seoul provides some insight. But, it's set in 1993 (and also in 1973; half of the book is the birth mother's story). Thus, perhaps a bit dated. I found most interesting the flashbacks to Korean War (didn't know it was referred to by Koreans as the 6.25 War) and earlier Japanese Occupation and later life under a military dictatorship. And, the way in which (already, in 1993 - wonder if it's gotten worse in the subsequent years) "western" values are seen as superior to the "old" ways. The overall narrative was so-so.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews