4.5 stars
“The plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.”
This book is drastically different from Hornby’s other works. There is still dark humor, but family dilemma and midlife crisis hold the center of the plot. Honestly, this could be even my favorite book by Hornby because of the issues that it deals with. The author wants to tell us nothing is black and white and to be careful what we wish for, because its fulfillment won’t necessarily make us happy.
The protagonist is Katie, a 40ish medical practitioner, living with her constantly angry husband David and two kids in a London suburb. She’s unhappy with her marriage, and as a consequence is having an affair. The book starts off with her calling David to tell him she wants a divorce. He refuses to accept that, but Katie is just as confused about her own decision. The main plot deals with the question what to do when your spouse, suddenly goes from spouting poison everywhere to someone who wants to do nothing but good deeds – and irritates you even more than before because of that change. Our narrator remains on the sidelines with a lot of sarcastic comments and tries to undermine all of his good intentions.
The main characters are your normal everyday family. The book is clever and points out to all those little problems that liberals have to face. Of course, I felt provoked at times, since I am a set-in-stone liberal, but in a good way. The author asks the hard questions - what happens when you try to solve the problems in the way utopian societies do or what if you try to solve all the big problems but in a small way. Hornby, as always, has a great sense of humor and his writing seems effortless. This is perhaps he’s most realistic novel till date. While it starts out as a story about failing marriage, it becomes much deeper and personal with presenting some serious issues of family and relationships. It speaks a lot about love and how it develops (or gets smothered) by marriage and commitment. In a very humorous way, this book brings up the issue of charity and how doing good for other people can go wrong and cause tension, This is Hornby in a nutshell - he gets inside his characters’ heads, then creates a believable absurdity, and gets under your skin while doing it. I didn't like the ending though.
Katie realizes that she needs to be more careful about what she wishes for. Her lack of security with herself and confidence is the main source of her unhappiness. Throughout the book, she carries a lot of guilt and she doesn’t really look like someone who really wants to find a light at the end of the tunnel.
“I don't believe in Heaven or anything. But I want to be the kind of person that qualifies for entry anyway.”
She always wants a better future, but she’s never brave enough to make crucial steps.
“It is the act of reading itself that I miss, the opportunity to retreat further and further from the world until I have found some space, some air that isn't stale, that hasn't been breathed by my family a thousand times already.”
She feels trapped, not only inside her family, but also inside her own skin and has no idea how to solve her problems. While having no moral support, she has no one to turned to to talk about it and lonelines is pushing her even more into a shell. She has a lot of burden on her shoulders and fights the wish to run away, because she’s petrified of being alone.
“It was as if I were powerless to resist the temptation; my senses were overcome. I could hear the emptiness, and taste the silence, and smell the solitude, and I wanted it more than I have ever wanted anything before.”
One moment, she desires the mentioned solitude, but in the next moment, she almost has a panic attack and she’d rather stay in an unhappy marriage with an unhealthy atmosphere than to make a better home for her children and herself. It’s interesting to read about her frustration because the behavior of her children is worsened by the constant conflicts between her and her husband.
Katie and David have a horrible marriage. There is no respect, no affection, communication is getting worse day after day, and they can’t even talk for two minutes without dropping venom on each other. With constant passive aggression, I don’t know how they still manage to sleep in the same bed night after night. Habit is a bitch.
“So now what? What happens when words fail us?”
Even when they try really hard to be honest with each other, it turns into a depressing moment.
“I've developed contours for his elbows and knees and bum, and nobody else quite fits into me in quite the same way.”
Here, Katie describes their sex life. It’s the only thing that genuinely works in their marriage.