Kitchen Table Counseling: A Practical and Biblical Guide for Women Helping Others

by Muriel Cook, Shelly Cook Volkhardt, The Navigators

This lay-ministry counseling guide is a good leader resource for women’s ministries or personal use. Learn how to address your own needs so you can effectively help others, take people to Jesus without taking on responsibility for their burdens, and balance a counseling ministry with your other priorities. With Kitchen Table Counseling , you can offer true biblical hope to other women in the face of heartaches.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Faith, Discipleship, Christianity, Nonfiction, Relationships

256 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1996

Reviews

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great, practical guide for lay counseling from a biblical perspective.

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great reference. Very good information. Use in conjunction with other counseling books.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

From chapter 1:
I began to see that these women did not need my advice, nor was I capable of providing what they longed for. What they needed was God’s answers to their heart cries.
Someday I would have to stand before God and answer for what I encouraged other women to do. So I began to seek His remedies for people’s burdens.
Chapter 2:
Neither do we need to tell people the sordid details of our own experiences in order to help them. ... It’s not that God can’t use our past; He can. But we must be very sure thst the Holy Spirit wants to use it and that He shows us how.
“You open the door, Lord, and I’ll go through it. You cause them to ask and I promise to be faithful to speak for You.”
“The recognition of God’s power and His presence is the beginning of knowledge.” Proverbs 1:7
“If I am devoted to the dause of humaniy only, I will soon be exhausted and come to he place where my love will falter; but if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity though men treat me as a door-mat.” Oswald Chambers
When we focus on what we are doing and not on Him, our perspectives and priorities can become confused.
Authenticity is more about being consistent in who you are than it is about what you say.
I used to think that my ego was terribly fragile and that if I was doing my best and could do no more, more criticism would be too hard to take. But I was actually being self-protective. ... If we listen and are willing to learn, God can help us deal with our unpolished sides.
Chapter 3: The Big Picture
Ask for God's Guidance--If I do not seek Him, I become simply an advice giver, and I bear the responsibility for what happens in the lives of those I counsel. 2 Timothy 2:2, 1 Corinthians 2:13, James 1:5, Psalm 141:3
Lance the Boil--When we acknowledge our pain and what causes it, that is equivalent to opening the boil and cleaning it out.
Meet Her Felt Need--Jesus often addressed people's felt needs before He met their spiritual needs. Mark 5:22-43, Luke 8:22-25, Luke 7:36-50, John 5:1-15
Before I could ever share with Mary her need for a Savior, I had to help her get to a less desperate place. I needed to meet her felt need.
Take Her to Jesus, Mark 2:1-12--"I can't help you. But God can, if you'll let Him."
Believe for Her--I can believe God for my counselee, even when she is struggling with her faith. ... I can hold her up, pray with her, and keep her focused on God and His Word.
...encouraging women to know Christ and helping them understand that He wants to use the events in their lives to change them to become more like Him.
Help Her to Become Independently Dependent--My goal was to make her independently dependent on God alone, and that when I was unavailable, she could talk to Him.
First Session--Face-to-face. Ask her when she invited Jesus into her heart. What are her expectations for our time? Seek to determine her level of desire to grow and change. Listen carefully; do not jump to conclusions. Pray with her (using the details shared) Acts 10:1-4. Clarify your boundaries. Decide by the end of the session if will give another appointment. Clarify the frequency, time, and place.

[Jerry · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's some solid material in this book but it has significant foundational blind spots. In chapter four, The Bottom Line of Most Problems, on pages 40-41, Cook describes her need to forgive a married man who made a pass at her while she was married and staying at his house presumably with her husband. She never confronted him or apparently told her own husband, and then 20 years later that man and his wife asked to come stay at her house in Oregon: "Hospitality is sacred to me, and retracting our long-standing invitation to this couple was not an option." Cook tells this story as an example of her need to forgive since she was still bothered by the incident, when actually it's a story about her needing to confront, require repentance, and then maintain boundaries. She completely misses all of this on a screaming 7th Commandment issue, and instead makes it about a struggle with personal bitterness. It's unfortunate that no one advising her or editing this book caught this issue. In a book striving to train Christians to give biblical counsel, much greater wisdom is needed.

[Erin Schwab · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful book

[Kelly Emery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great resource book for counseling women. I am sure to go back to it again.

[Kim Ridings · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical

[Christine Ferch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sound principles. Repetitive. Worth keeping as a reference or to walk through with someone wanting ti grow in this area.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Keeping this amazing resource on my shelf forever. Wish I could’ve met this Godly woman while she was alive. What a role model.

[Jen H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for the woman who desires to be used by the Lord to teach/mentor/counsel other women per the Titus 2 mandate. The author has no formal credentials but is the Counselor-at-Large at Multinomah University by virtue of her wisdom and experience gained over many years of serving the Lord faithfully. The book begins with an emphasis on forgiveness (something almost every woman struggles with) and proceeds to discuss various areas where one woman can be a help to another. It is a Bible-centric book, meaning that the author believes that the Bible contains all answers to life's significant questions. I highly recommend this book!

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to any woman who wants the Biblical tools for developing healthy mentoring relationships with other women. Women seek refuge, solace, and healing most often in the form of friendships and Muriel Cook helps guide us in helping our friends and others who come to us with needs. The book provided insight into areas of my own life that needed healing and restoration and has encouraged me in my walk with the Lord and challenged me to be in Scripture more.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book! Read it with my seminary wives small group and it has been one of my favorites. Such practical, biblical advice about all kinds of big life issues. Gives women examples of how to be a mentor to other women with issues from suicide to grief and fear. I will definitely be using it as a resource for years to come.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very helpful book. The group I read it with ended up being like a group-therapy session; it is not only good for equipping women to help other women, but it helps you figure out some of your own baggage as well, and provides "homework" assignments to deal with a variety of problems.

[Amee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh so practical help in counseling other women when you aren't a professional counselor yourself. How to deal with those crisis situations that your friends, acquaintances or ministry contacts might find themselves in.

[Caitlin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciated that this book points the reader and their theoretical counselees back to God. That's something I need to remember. Ultimately I didn't find it as helpful as I might have liked and I didn't like all of what there was to be said.