Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Porterhouse Blue #2

Grantchester Grind

Rate this book
The formidable Skullion - previously head porter, now elevated to Master - is showing signs of physical frailty after his stroke, though as cunning as ever. So the tricky business of appointing a new Master must start all over again.

Meanwhile the College's monstrous debts refuse to go away, and a sinister American media mogul seems determined to make a television documentary on the premises, destroying part of the chapel in the process. Moreover, the widow of the previous Master is convinced that her husband was murdered, so she plants an agent in the Senior Common Room to dig up an unpleasant truth that everyone else would prefer kept under the carpet.

Faced with such continuing crises, the instinct of the true Porterhouse man is to reach for the bottle... or to fall back on the subtle and traditional Cambridge skills of blackmail and kidnap.

But will those be enough?

490 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1995

57 people are currently reading
555 people want to read

About the author

Tom Sharpe

76 books559 followers
Tom Sharpe was an English satirical author, born in London and educated at Lancing College and at Pembroke College, Cambridge. After National Service with the Royal Marines he moved to South Africa in 1951, doing social work and teaching in Natal, until deported in 1961.

His work in South Africa inspired the novels Riotous Assembly and Indecent Exposure. From 1963 until 1972 he was a History lecturer at the Cambridge College of Arts and Technology, which inspired his "Wilt" series Wilt, The Wilt Alternative, Wilt on High and Wilt in Nowhere.

His novels feature bitter and outrageous satire of the apartheid regime (Riotous Assembly and its sequel Indecent Exposure), dumbed- or watered-down education (the Wilt series), English class snobbery (Ancestral Vices, Porterhouse Blue, Grantchester Grind), the literary world (The Great Pursuit), political extremists of all stripes, political correctness, bureaucracy and stupidity in general. Characters may indulge in bizarre sexual practices, and coarser characters use very graphic and/or profane language in dialogue. Sharpe often parodies the language and style of specific authors commonly associated with the social group held up for ridicule. Sharpe's bestselling books have been translated into many languages.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
295 (20%)
4 stars
458 (31%)
3 stars
513 (35%)
2 stars
138 (9%)
1 star
33 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
Profile Image for A.K. Kulshreshth.
Author 8 books77 followers
February 15, 2021
I didn't listen to this one for subtle sarcasm. I wondered if it would deliver at least a few outright laughs, and it did. That is quite an outstanding achievement in these troubled times.

As expected, Mr. Sharpe dreamt up some truly weird situations and outlandish characters. Needless to say, one could use words like "depraved" and "vulgar" to describe this book. To be honest, depraved and vulgar sometimes do work for me.

I must also say that while there are heavy doses of crudity, there is also a bit of social and political commentary thrown in.

A lot of the un-subtle humour happens to be at the expense of a couple of cartoonish Americans -- I would caution American friends they they need to be large hearted to be able to take it.

Is it better than Porterhouse Blues ? I think it's not as good, but it comes close enough that if you liked that one, you should like this as well.
Profile Image for Akhil.
10 reviews11 followers
November 15, 2009
Humorous. Stiff upper lip humour :) Can never be as good as P.G.Wodehouse, but nevertheless British humour. So its good.
Profile Image for Aurélien Thomas.
Author 9 books121 followers
September 2, 2022
Porterhouse College (hint hint wink wink to Cambridge University's Peterhouse College...), a dubious institution those staff performances range from idiotic incompetence to pure craziness, just got itself a new professor. The Sir, also in need of serious therapy, is far more than a teacher, though, but, endowed with a mission: find out who murdered one of his predecessors. Add to all that a gang of criminals keen on TV documentaries, crooked lawyers, a lot of sexual frustrations, a few financial issues, and great food and wines, and you'll end up here with a thriller as only Tom Sharpe could deliver: English dynamite, completely let loose!

The plot loses itself a tat towards the end, dragging it longer than it should, but, all in all, such madness charged with a dark, caricatural, over-the-top humour is just a pure jewel of fun!
Profile Image for Michael Bafford.
656 reviews14 followers
October 27, 2019
It has been a few years since I read Porterhouse Blue so I would have enjoyed a foreword: Previously in the Porterhouse Chronicles. Fortunately I found a long article on Wikipedia which got me back into the narrative.

There was considerable Sharpe rage here, particularly in the beginning; or possibly I became blunted as I read further. Porterhouse and its fellows - and in small part its students, past students and servants - get the sharper edge of the satire, but Sharpe deals heavy blows to many others: perverts, other academics, perverted academics, wealthy widows, the penal system, Americans, perverted Americans, perverted crime lords/television moguls, the modern world and traditionalists.

A few noteworthy quotations.
Purefoy Osbert is not a fan of the criminal justice system:
"'Crime is the consequence of the system of law and order established to root out the social disease it creates. By defining that which is unlawful we ensure that the law will be broken.' It was a concept that naturally found favour with his students and had the merit of forcing the more intelligent ones to argue vehemently with one another, and even occasionally to think." (p. 23)

The media mogul Hartung confuses the Bursar:
"Some of his utterances suggested [that he was mad], and one in particular he was never able to forget or begin to understand. It had to do with 'the need to create an ephemera of permanence'. (In fact the expression or concept or whatever it was did not simply stick in the bursar's bemused memory, it positively lodged there and made itself so thoroughly at home that in later life the Bursar would suddenly start from his sleep and alarm his wife at three o'clock in the morning by demanding to know how in God's name ephemera could be made permanent when by definition they were precisely the opposite...)" (p. 41)

The Senior Tutor has "dined extremely well":
"As a result he had woken late feeling not so much like death warmed over as hell heated up." (p.75)

The faculty has difficulty believing Kudzuvine can be a real name:
" 'Really? How very interesting. And I suppose your mother's name was Ivy,' said the Praelector. 'Something botanical at any rate, and I daresay you have Swedish ancestry.'
'What the fuck you talking about my mother's name? Botanical? They called her Lily May. And what's with the Swedish shit? Nothing Swede about us. Free-born citizen of the greatest super-'
'Quite so. We've been through the virtues of America before ad nauseam and we don't need them again. What is your real name? And don't come up with Alfalfa or Kentucky Bluegrass or anything Linnaean.'" (p.83)

The Senior Tutor has made an impression:
" 'And no wonder, state he was in last night when he come in from Corpus. Looked like a corpus himself, he did. What he must have been like this morning doesn't bear thinking about. Oh, he did look horrible.'
Purefoy listened to this exchange and found it disturbing. If the Head Porter, who was hardly a pleasant man to look at - he had a twisted and unnaturally gruesome way of eyeing people out of the corner of a strangely coloured left eye - could describe someone as looking horrible, the man must be utterly hideous..." (p.102)

English quality:
" 'My own recent experiences have convinced me that something has gone terribly wrong,' said the Dean miserably. 'There has been a dreadful deterioration in standards.'
'Yes, there has,' the Praelector went on. ' When I was young and we had to pretend to be gentlemen of honour, we had to act honourably to maintain the pretence. That was the greatest virtue hypocrisy conferred on us. And hypocrisy has always been a particularly English quality.' (p.166)

The Dean's dream of society is shattered:
"Little islands of the old order, where deference was due, undoubtedly remained but the tide of egalitarian vulgarity was rising and in time would swamp them all..."
"...he kept to his rooms and thought the darkest thoughts, dined silently in Hall and took long melancholy walks to Grantchester debating what on earth to do." (p.212)

The drug problem solved:
" 'Ah, but think of the financial advantages that will accrue to the Governments when drugs are legalized,' the Praelector told [the Senior Tutor]. 'And the social benefits will be enormous too.'
'What social benefits? The wholesale consumption of crack cocaine does not strike me as having any social benefit whatsoever.'
'I can think of one. The elimination of the criminal coterie that controls the trade now. And besides, I have never believed in the regimentation of society by a self-appointed and supposedly moral elite. If people choose to indulge tastes that hurt only themselves, they are entitled to do so...'" (p.291)



The Praelector reflects on the modern world:
"The Praelector waited in the drawing-room staring out into the pulsating night and thinking about the May Balls he had known in his youth. They had been sedate affairs and he had enjoyed them enormously, swinging round the Hall doing the quickstep or a fox-trot and, most daringly of all, the tango with a polished liveliness and delight that was a world away from the mechanical Bacchanalia the young now seemed to crave. Not that he blamed them. They were drowning out a world that seemed to have no structure to it and no meaning for them, a monstrous bazaar in which the only criteria were money and sex and drugs and the pursuit of moments of partial oblivion. Perhaps it was a better world than the one he had known when Europe had gone to war and discipline was everything. He didn't know and wouldn't live long enough to find out." (p. 333)

Will Porterhouse survive? Well, it finances are improved. The Fellows are, of course, older and ageing and less able to face the challenges of a changing world. Perhaps they will be replaced by new Fellow, who will perhaps continue the long traditions of ritual and debauchery. Probably not.




811 reviews8 followers
June 21, 2017
I should make it clear that this book has nothing to do with honey being still for tea or with another series of detective novels recently made into a TV series under the name of Grantchester. It is the on going story of Porterhouse College, Cambridge and its decidedly eccentric collection of Dons and college servants, including the scheming Skullion (played by David Jason in a TV series made of the first book, Porterhouse Blue). Into this mix is thrown a younger academic who has been retained to report into the death of a previous Master and the management of an American TV company which is the cover for more nefarious goings on. The book is written in the author's usual style, at the time provoking this reader to outright belly laughs. If you haven't read any Tom Sharpe and you enjoy well writtem comedy do try any Tom Sharpe novel. A Porterhouse Blue, incidentally, is a fatal stroke brought on by the glyttony abd general over indulgences that the Senior Fellows permit themselves. Sad to report, the author died in 2013 (but at the good age of 85)
79 reviews
December 23, 2025
Only belatedly discovered that Porterhouse Blue had a sequel! Excellent book, perhaps a little too over-the-top at times
Profile Image for Palmyrah.
289 reviews69 followers
August 13, 2013
I thought I'd read all Tom Sharpe's books, including this one, ages go, but I was mistaken; I'd confused it with another title. What an unexpected treat to discover a brand-new (to me) novel by this late master of cruel comedy!

And it is very, very good. I found it, for instance, much funnier than the novel to which it is a sequel, Porterhouse Blue. That book suffered from the lack of even one sympathetic character, as well as from the tired use of some stock Sharpe plot elements, characters, etc. This one is much better.

It does go on a little too long, though. The natural climax comes about three-quarters of the way through, and the resolution quickly follows; however, the tale is spun on through several more chapters, quite unnecessarily in my view. The additional chapters aren't bad – they're quite readable – but they are supernumary and the book would have been better without them.

One scene in particular – the Dean's conversation with Lapschott – seemed to stand out from the rest of the book as well as from Sharpe's usual ouvre. The setting, in particular, is given in unusual detail, and Lapschott is a character entirely different from anyone else in any novel by Tom Sharpe. Reading the scene (which I found very attractive) made me wonder whether Sharpe was drawing from life. Anyone have any ideas about that?
3 reviews1 follower
July 19, 2017
Definitely not his best. Only one passage made me laugh out loud, compared to almost the entirety of his previous books. It starts off well and does a good job of setting the seen. The last 100 pages seem rushed and I was left with unanswered questions. It's almost as if he lost the will half way through.
Profile Image for Lourdes.
6 reviews
April 20, 2023
Nuevamente, una lectura recomendada por mi padre.
Nuevamente, genial, como siempre.
Profile Image for David Gee.
Author 5 books10 followers
September 18, 2018
It’s a big disappointment when a favourite writer produces a dud. Tom Sharpe, who died in 2013, was a great comic novelist, from his wicked Apartheid-era South African satires through to hilarious caricatures of the British establishment in Blott on the Landscape and Porterhouse Blue, both of which made hysterically funny TV series. I only recently discovered that I’d missed Grantchester Grind, a sequel to Porterhouse Blue, and decided to catch up on it.

I wish I hadn’t bothered. The humour here is very dry and barely raised the occasional chuckle. Porterhouse College needs to pay for a new roof to the Chapel and unwisely allows a philanthropic American media mogul to invest. Apart from a set-piece scene where some of the chapel ceiling falls on the congregation, most of the first 150 pages is taken is taken up with dialogue between the conservative College administrators and the deeply philistine American team. Both sides are liberal in the use of the F-word, giving this book the sledge-hammer impact of today's stand-up comedians who think foul language is intrinsically funny.

It is not. I can’t tell you if the following 350 pages get better, because I gave up. I hate to give up on a book, any book, but this one defeated me. Leaden and dull. Maybe Mr Sharpe was just going through a bad patch. After this he wrote several more novels, including another Wilt trilogy (Wilt was not my favourite Sharpe character). But for me Sharpe has joined the ranks of authors I had to stop reading. Iris Murdoch went very tedious in her later books (perhaps because of dementia stalking her), and I lost faith in Anthony Burgess and Gore Vidal, two of my all-time favourites. Lower down the literary food chain I long ago stopped reading Jackie Collins, who was never as good as Harold Robbins. Stephen King still delivers the goods, but Anne Rice, for me, does not.
Profile Image for Jeff Hare.
228 reviews
March 24, 2021
Several years after Head Porter Scullion had a debilitating stroke ("a Porterhouse Blue"), he and the Cambridge university are back to face yet more threats to their continued existence when it is discovered the coffers are empty and they will need to go cap in hand to get funds to sustain them...

Porterhouse Blue is one of my favourite novels and Tom Sharpe is one of my favourite authors. This would be a 5 star review, surely? Sadly, whilst I enjoyed the follow up, there is a distinct feeling of "we've all been here before" with this one. The usual Tom Sharpe tropes are here; scholarly fellow obsessed with a large chested woman, protagonist is knocked unconscious, suffers amnesia and made to suffer due to misunderstanding and, of course, farce. Lots and lots of farce...

Scullion has regained some of his mobility post-stroke and his brain has been working overtime. He doesnt really feature prominently in the first half of the novel, but does make his presence felt towards the end.

By no means a classic Sharpe, but still enough there to enjoy and the odd laugh out loud moment.
155 reviews
December 3, 2023
Half way through this book I looked up startled, realizing that the image I had in mind for Skullion, the pugnacious former Head Porter, was none other than Winston Churchill. I'm not sure if that's more a disfavor to Churchill or Skullion. And given that there's a baby picture of me looking like a precocious jowly head of state, I wondered whether I should be seeing myself in the old Head Porter.

In my mind, this book is like the British equivalent to Inherent Vice. Or maybe, since this was published 15 years before Pynchon's Santa Monica mystery, Inherent Vice is the American equivalent of Grantchester Grind. And - just spit balling here - Inherent Vice sure sounds a lot like Indecent Exposure, Tom Sharpe's other novel. Or maybe Indecent Exposure just is an Inherent Vice.

Regardless, this was a funny sequel to Porterhouse Blue, and the beginning had me laughing so hard Alyssa started drafting a proposal to send me to Porterhouse Park. And, between reading this and watching the first Harry Potter movie again, my nostalgia for Oxbridge is through the roof. Maybe I ought to donate to Oxfam.

Profile Image for Pippa Catterall.
153 reviews1 follower
December 30, 2024
Several complicated storylines are woven together in this satirical novel. Some of them are funny, some scatological and some both. The lecture classes on masturbation techniques, for instance, could be seen as a satire on academia, on men, on the pretensions of so many of the characters in this book or on the narcissistic tendencies of a neoliberal age. Beneath the biting satire there is a sense of loss of direction and dignity. The customs and rituals of an ancient university are, we come to suspect, an elaborate con trick. Facades abound. The old order is maintaining a pretence of faded grandeur, sometimes as cover for very rum practices. And the new order of international neoliberalism is hiding malpractice in plain sight. This results in some great lines about the sincerity of hypocrisy, the folly of searching for certainty and the consequences of underestimating adversaries. One of these underestimated figures indeed proves to be crucial in restoring a kind of order, though of a different kind, by the end of the book.
Profile Image for Jon Schwarz.
138 reviews3 followers
May 23, 2021
Just finished this at times slog of a novel that at times I toggled between hating and enjoying. I ultimately landed on enjoying, to the point of now considering it a problematic masterpiece. It sprawls and goes off on many tangents but in the end, they all more or less add up to a satisfying whole. It’s a commentary on a changing England written by someone clearly brought up in the in the embers of the fading empire who has lived long enough to watch the entrenched old fall to the modern technological computer aged new. If you’re a fan of Wodehouse plots and Evelyn Waugh locations, and aren’t bothered by a great deal of swearing, I highly recommend reading this (and the first book, Porterhouse Blue).
Profile Image for Doug Lewars.
Author 34 books9 followers
February 21, 2018
*** Possible Spoilers ***

It is, of course, impossible not to like a Tom Sharpe novel. Admittedly, this one isn't as humorous as his earlier works but it was still enjoyable. He was older when he wrote it and probably had come to view the modern world with a certain degree of skepticism. The book seemed to be a certain passing of the academic torch to younger hands - not that younger hands wouldn't likely burn themselves with it but such things happen. I would recommend this book to an older reader.
Profile Image for Ro Alvarez.
30 reviews
May 18, 2022
Más flojo que otros de Tom Sharpe, si llegas al libro esperando el ritmo vertiginoso de Wilt u otros, Becas Flacas tarda más en llegar al nudo y una vez desarrollado el desenlace y todos los cierres, aún se prolonga incluso más hasta el final... Aún así, se salva por la segunda parte del libro, que sí destella más toques del Sharpe sarcástico e hiperbólico .
Becas Flacas es una sátira al sistema universitario inglés y sus jerarquías, si bien, uno no está familiarizado con algunas de sus nomenclaturas, hay partes en las que también puede hacerse tedioso.
Profile Image for M R B Davis.
713 reviews5 followers
March 30, 2020
A fantastic fantasy

I feel it is important to read Porterhouse Blue before this sequel. The infighting amongst the members of the council comes through and despite nearly becoming unstuck, Skullion comes through with the upper hand. The role of Transworld Television is bizarre, although the protection as payment for spilling the beans. Is credible. Generally a good read.
143 reviews1 follower
July 26, 2020
Tom Sharpe is an exceptional writer who isn't politically correct so if you are sensitive to this it isn't for you. His humour is extremely funny and a real laugh aloud book. I love his books and this is a good as the rest. It has brightened a few dark days with lock down and made my eyes water. His characters are brilliant and bring it all to life.
Profile Image for Gregory Beaman.
47 reviews
August 25, 2023
As wonderful as expected from anything written byTom Sharpe. Cutting observation of society laced with dark comedy.

I've never read anything by Tom Sharpe that hasn't been first class and this is yet another one. A must read and, if like me you haven't read Tom Sharpe for a few years, well worth revisiting.
Profile Image for Rick Patterson.
386 reviews12 followers
July 7, 2020
Farce can be a little tiring because it's basically a case of one damn thing after another. In Tom Sharpe's hands, it's always ridiculous and funny--as farce is, by definition--but occasionally he slips in some rather serious point about the pointlessness of it all.
Profile Image for Gouthami.
124 reviews4 followers
December 19, 2020
I needed a funny book to read and this was just right - humorous, sarcastic, ironic, plenty of snide remarks and some accurate portrayals. I just realised, English (as in the people) books focus a lot on food!
Profile Image for Scott Langston.
Author 2 books13 followers
August 9, 2025
Hugely disappointing. I remember enjoying Wilt and even Porterhouse Blues, but this was tedious drivel. I was barely able to finish it. Crass characterisations, flimsy plot, appalling stereotypes. Just a dud.
Profile Image for lärm.
347 reviews11 followers
October 2, 2017
There's nothing surprising about this book. It's standard Tom Sharpe stuff, formulaic, but it's a formula that works perfect for me.
Profile Image for Neil Cake.
257 reviews2 followers
April 17, 2018
Not as satirical as Porterhouse Blue, but on the whole it is funnier and I felt, more enjoyable. The ending was a bit of a damp squib, mind, after so much work had been done in preparation.
17 reviews1 follower
August 28, 2018
Another classic from Tom. Never cease to provide a giggle and odd images!
945 reviews10 followers
April 6, 2019
an easy read but muddled and unfocused. inferior in every way to Porterhouse Blue
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.