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Most Important Year in a Woman's Life, The/The Most Important Year in a Man's Life
Your marriage could be one of history’s great love stories! As newlyweds, it’s time to ensure that your marriage can meet the challenges it will face right around the corner. Cultivating good habits during these first twelve foundational months of your marriage and knowing what to focus on will set the stage for years to come.Robert and Bobbie and Mark and Susan know that there’s a big difference between preparation and actual experience. This is your guide to actually dealing with all the things that come after “I do.” In this unique flip-over format, the chapter topics are the same but one half is written by men for the husband, and the other half is written from a women’s perspective for the wife. As a couple, you’ll each progress through your part of the book and meet somewhere in the middle. Become an expert on what really makes your spouse happy, and enjoy the benefits of a great partnership. Take an honest look at the family you grew up in: its unwritten codes, how it has shaped you, and the ways it affects your relationship with your mate. Learn how to speak each other’s “language” and appreciate the qualities each of you brings to your marriage.You’ll also get an eye-opening look at communication skills, secrets for a great sex life, budget basics, dealing with in-laws, navigating tough times, and much more. Above all, you’ll cultivate a spiritual unity that draws the two of you closer to each other as you draw closer to God. Start reading, and make this first year together what it was meant to be: the most important year in your life.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published April 24, 2003
26 people are currently reading
209 people want to read
About the author
Robert Wolgemuth
69 books28 followersROBERT WOLGEMUTH has been in the media business for thirty-nine years. He is former president of Thomas Nelson Publishers and the owner of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc., a literary agency exclusively representing the writing work of more than one hundred authors. Dr. Wolgemuth is a speaker and best-selling author of over twenty books, including She Calls Me Daddy, the notes to the Dad's Devotional Bible, The Most Important Place on Earth, and What's in the Bible: The Story of God Through Time and Eternity, co-written with R. C. Sproul. He is a 1969 graduate of Taylor University, where he received an honorary doctorate in May 2005. Dr. Wolgemuth is married to Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and has two grown daughters, two sons-in-law, and five grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
October 19, 2020
Read this as part of our premarital counseling. It was a solid marriage read from the Christian perspective.
Currently reading
August 16, 2007Matthew and I are reading and learning a lot from this book about married life. It really emphasizes the beginning years of marriage being important for setting a healthy lifetime and we've (especially I'VE)found a lot of new ideas (like the YES cycle... ask me about it) that are sooo helpful to our relationship. Thanks Lucy and John for the book!
March 2, 2007
I think I would have been a pretty decent husband even if I hadn't read this book. But reading it gave me such a greater appreciation for how to treat a wife. The authors put my thoughts into words. That's a good thing.
October 18, 2011
good insightful tips for a guy looking to not drive his wife crazy during their first year of marriage.
October 30, 2024
This book paints a picture of how beautiful marriage can be. The Biblical references made me cry over and over again. It’s easy to forget that marriage is a gift from God- especially in the world we live in today. I read both sides of the book!
I would recommend this book to anyone, single or married. It can help you know yourself better, and of course it can help you know your significant other better.
I would recommend this book to anyone, single or married. It can help you know yourself better, and of course it can help you know your significant other better.
March 8, 2019
Timeless, godly wisdom from a couple of Christian married women on the important foundation that is the first year of marriage. I read a good portion of it before I got married and then finished the book after I had been married about 6 months. It’s an easy, often humorous, read. I would recommend it to others getting married.
October 15, 2022
I read this book as part of our premarital counseling. I found it overall to be helpful and insightful with some chapters standing our more than others. There are many stereotypes used and it feels a little outdated but nonetheless it contains helpful wisdom.
Some information felt obvious to me, but I was challenged by a few chapters.
Some information felt obvious to me, but I was challenged by a few chapters.
December 24, 2018
Set this aside for now, but great discussion starter
May 21, 2020
Read the 1st part only targeted to woman. It is very insightful and will surely go back to this book for reference.
October 10, 2020
Wish I would have read it as a new wife
June 24, 2025
Probably the best marriage counseling book I’ve read so far! This was a part of our counseling with our pastor :)
December 27, 2008
Nathan and I received The Most Important Year in a Man's/Woman's Life as a wedding present from Nathan's college friends, Cass and Sarah, and, in case you were wondering, the most important year in a man or woman's life is the first year of marriage. One half of this book is devoted to the man's perspective during the first year of marriage and the other was written from the woman's perspective. The book is designed to be read at the same time as your spouse (though not necessarily together like we did). After each partner reads the chapters, there are questions to contemplate and a "Crossing Over" activity that is meant to bring you together with your loved one to talk.
While I don't necessarily agree that the single most important year in a man or woman's life is the first year of marriage (I guess it would depend on what else happens in a person's life), I do think the first year has the potential to set the stage for the rest of the marriage and this book might help a couple learn about one another and give them strategies to deal with the unique challenges that can emerge in a committed lifelong relationship. There are chapters in this book that are devoted to families of origin, relational roles, conflict, money, sex, in-laws, communication and probably anything else you can think of that will come up in a typical marriage relationship. If used as it was designed, this book will help its readers think about some issues that are specific to marriage and hopefully open doors of communication with a spouse. There was a lot of information in this book that was interesting and valuable and it certainly initiated some lively conversations between Nathan and me!
There were two activities that the book recommended its readers participate in that I thought were of special value: creating a genogram and looking at our schedule in terms of 'The Slot System'. A genogram is a small family tree that includes aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, parents and grandparents. After creating a genogram for each family, the bride and groom are to write a brief description (the first thing that comes to mind) of each person in the genogram. Then, three questions are asked about the parents and grandparents in the genogram:
What can you tell us about their marriage?
What can you tell us about how they dealt with conflict?
What can you tell us about their spiritual life?
The bride and groom are also asked to name models of great marriages in their family systems and spots of tension between the people in their families. This information is used to determine "normals" for each person in the relationship. A person might discover a "normal" in their own family (for example, that men are considered strong and unemotional) that affects the way they relate to their spouse, or vise versa. Identifying these "normals" might make it easier to understand the behavior of a spouse. Through this process, Nathan and I both discovered "normals" in our families of origin that help us better understand the way we act in our relationships now.
The second activity was titled 'The Slot System' which is designed to help a newly married couple set aside time to be together. A couple looks at the upcoming week and divides each day into three distinct slots (morning, afternoon, and evening). Each slot includes a meal and a block of time. For example, the morning slot would begin with waking up and end around noon. The afternoon slot begins with lunch and ends around 5 pm. The evening slot begins after 5 and ends with bedtime. A healthy marriage requires a minimum of six slots together in a normal week. These six slots don't need to be exclusive one-on-one time together but could include running errands, watching tv, taking a nap, hanging out with friends or any other kind of low-pressure activity. The idea is to not let a schedule run the couple, but have a couple rule their own schedule and make their marriage a priority. Even for Nathan and me (with no kids and very few obligations outside work) it can sometimes be difficult to find six "slots" together when life gets busy. It was a great way to look at how we spend our time and figure out if we were making enough time for one another.
On the flip side, there were parts of the book that Nathan and I had a harder time identifying with. For example, the chapter on relational roles had some rather traditional ideas about male/female gender roles that would never work for Nathan or me, given our personalities and families of origin. We just don't fit into the old-fashioned ideas of the man being a "warrior"/leader/breadwinner and the woman being submissive (and that's basically it).
There were some terrific ideas in this book and I would recommend it for any couple, not just those in their first year of marriage. But, it is one of those books where you have to take from the advice what you can use and disregard what you know won't be beneficial to your own marriage.
While I don't necessarily agree that the single most important year in a man or woman's life is the first year of marriage (I guess it would depend on what else happens in a person's life), I do think the first year has the potential to set the stage for the rest of the marriage and this book might help a couple learn about one another and give them strategies to deal with the unique challenges that can emerge in a committed lifelong relationship. There are chapters in this book that are devoted to families of origin, relational roles, conflict, money, sex, in-laws, communication and probably anything else you can think of that will come up in a typical marriage relationship. If used as it was designed, this book will help its readers think about some issues that are specific to marriage and hopefully open doors of communication with a spouse. There was a lot of information in this book that was interesting and valuable and it certainly initiated some lively conversations between Nathan and me!
There were two activities that the book recommended its readers participate in that I thought were of special value: creating a genogram and looking at our schedule in terms of 'The Slot System'. A genogram is a small family tree that includes aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, parents and grandparents. After creating a genogram for each family, the bride and groom are to write a brief description (the first thing that comes to mind) of each person in the genogram. Then, three questions are asked about the parents and grandparents in the genogram:
What can you tell us about their marriage?
What can you tell us about how they dealt with conflict?
What can you tell us about their spiritual life?
The bride and groom are also asked to name models of great marriages in their family systems and spots of tension between the people in their families. This information is used to determine "normals" for each person in the relationship. A person might discover a "normal" in their own family (for example, that men are considered strong and unemotional) that affects the way they relate to their spouse, or vise versa. Identifying these "normals" might make it easier to understand the behavior of a spouse. Through this process, Nathan and I both discovered "normals" in our families of origin that help us better understand the way we act in our relationships now.
The second activity was titled 'The Slot System' which is designed to help a newly married couple set aside time to be together. A couple looks at the upcoming week and divides each day into three distinct slots (morning, afternoon, and evening). Each slot includes a meal and a block of time. For example, the morning slot would begin with waking up and end around noon. The afternoon slot begins with lunch and ends around 5 pm. The evening slot begins after 5 and ends with bedtime. A healthy marriage requires a minimum of six slots together in a normal week. These six slots don't need to be exclusive one-on-one time together but could include running errands, watching tv, taking a nap, hanging out with friends or any other kind of low-pressure activity. The idea is to not let a schedule run the couple, but have a couple rule their own schedule and make their marriage a priority. Even for Nathan and me (with no kids and very few obligations outside work) it can sometimes be difficult to find six "slots" together when life gets busy. It was a great way to look at how we spend our time and figure out if we were making enough time for one another.
On the flip side, there were parts of the book that Nathan and I had a harder time identifying with. For example, the chapter on relational roles had some rather traditional ideas about male/female gender roles that would never work for Nathan or me, given our personalities and families of origin. We just don't fit into the old-fashioned ideas of the man being a "warrior"/leader/breadwinner and the woman being submissive (and that's basically it).
There were some terrific ideas in this book and I would recommend it for any couple, not just those in their first year of marriage. But, it is one of those books where you have to take from the advice what you can use and disregard what you know won't be beneficial to your own marriage.
November 11, 2013
This book is innovative even in its construction in the manner in which it is read. There is one side fir the man to read. If the book is flipped there is another side for the woman to read. Then there is also a section in the middle that the couple are to read together after they have completed their respective sections. This a book that was designed to be read simultaneously, as a couple together! A first project to do together as a married couple to help reinforce and ensure the success of your marriage.
I received this book as a gift from my best friend while I was growing through some of the growing pains of marriage. I don't think that I would have half the difficulties that I have had in marriage IF I had read this BEFORE I was married or DURING my first year of marriage. This is the closest thing to a how to do it right manual on the market. I WILL be giving this book to my daughter and future husband when when they get engaged. I would give this book as a wedding present to anyone that I cared about who was getting married. One of the best books ever!
A book that passes on the knowledge of those who've come before you and teaches you how to avoid pitfalls, as well as provides skills for success, is worth its weight in gold. This is one of those books.
If you are already a veteran in marriage it can still help you improve you marriage immensely if that's where you head and heart are. It just informs you that you most likely have a lot more work to do then if you started off the correct way from the start. I highly recommend this book!
I received this book as a gift from my best friend while I was growing through some of the growing pains of marriage. I don't think that I would have half the difficulties that I have had in marriage IF I had read this BEFORE I was married or DURING my first year of marriage. This is the closest thing to a how to do it right manual on the market. I WILL be giving this book to my daughter and future husband when when they get engaged. I would give this book as a wedding present to anyone that I cared about who was getting married. One of the best books ever!
A book that passes on the knowledge of those who've come before you and teaches you how to avoid pitfalls, as well as provides skills for success, is worth its weight in gold. This is one of those books.
If you are already a veteran in marriage it can still help you improve you marriage immensely if that's where you head and heart are. It just informs you that you most likely have a lot more work to do then if you started off the correct way from the start. I highly recommend this book!
June 23, 2016
I liked the unique, clever design of this book. Ashley read her side and most of my side before our year anniversary. I finally read both sides (which was pretty much the same except the girls side talked about having/raising kids and I don't remember that in the boys side.)
I really enjoyed the concepts presented in this book, especially the Money Insurance Premium (I had learned that from my brother Crusts, as he and his wife read the book previously) and the Normals (what we each take from our past life and into our marriage and present them as normal).
My only complaint is that, like many other books and discussions on marriage, it is bias towards women being greater and men being dumber/incompetent/inferior when it comes to marriage/relationships. Perhaps men don't quite "get it" as women do but once you realize that people generally marry across the board, not up or down, then you'll understand that both need to improve separate but equal amounts. If this idea can be understood then the dipbeep men would get their act together (IE stop making it about how much men lack in a relationship and focus on the equality and their potential). Like Morgan Freeman said in an interview with Mike Wallace "How are we going to get rid of racism--?" "Stop talking about it."
I really enjoyed the concepts presented in this book, especially the Money Insurance Premium (I had learned that from my brother Crusts, as he and his wife read the book previously) and the Normals (what we each take from our past life and into our marriage and present them as normal).
My only complaint is that, like many other books and discussions on marriage, it is bias towards women being greater and men being dumber/incompetent/inferior when it comes to marriage/relationships. Perhaps men don't quite "get it" as women do but once you realize that people generally marry across the board, not up or down, then you'll understand that both need to improve separate but equal amounts. If this idea can be understood then the dipbeep men would get their act together (IE stop making it about how much men lack in a relationship and focus on the equality and their potential). Like Morgan Freeman said in an interview with Mike Wallace "How are we going to get rid of racism--?" "Stop talking about it."
April 14, 2022
I only read the Groom's side (and a few sections on the Bride's side, as prompted), so this is mainly a review for that half of the book. My now-wife and I went through this book during premarital counseling. I liked the premise, and the book led to a lot of great conversation on things we may not have thought to discuss on our own. On its own, though, the book fails to drive home many points that it brings up. That made the book feel sort of incomplete. Still, the results of our conversation and counseling sessions were successful, and we are now happily married!
Format note: the book is not optimized for e-readers. For the Groom's side, you need to dig for and manually bookmark the table of contents.
Format note: the book is not optimized for e-readers. For the Groom's side, you need to dig for and manually bookmark the table of contents.
Read
February 15, 2011The pastor who is performing my marriage ceremony recommended this book for both me and my fiance to read. One half is written for the bride, the other for the husband.
I have really enjoyed the insights, expectations, and "normalcy" of what's to come in the first year of a marriage. I have laughed out loud and wanted to cry.
So far, so good.
I am also very intrigued by "the other half"....I may or may not have sneaked a few peaks...
Ok finished! Thoroughly enjoyed this one - even the somewhat cliche parts!
Would recommend for any newlyweds :)
I have really enjoyed the insights, expectations, and "normalcy" of what's to come in the first year of a marriage. I have laughed out loud and wanted to cry.
So far, so good.
I am also very intrigued by "the other half"....I may or may not have sneaked a few peaks...
Ok finished! Thoroughly enjoyed this one - even the somewhat cliche parts!
Would recommend for any newlyweds :)
May 11, 2009
It's a great read. I think everyone should read it even if you are not preparing for marriage. It's good practical information for bringing happiness to any relationship; especially your husband and your marriage.
August 25, 2009
I read this with my husband when we were taking a pre-marital class. We both really enjoyed it and learned a lot from it! I highly recomend it to any and all newly weds, or even couples that have been married for years - it's a good read to read as a couple.
February 8, 2008
re-read July 2007
December 21, 2008
almost finished! Very practical... =)
July 24, 2012
A good read before you great married.
January 12, 2009
Best Christian pre-martial book out there! Great gift idea.
July 13, 2009
Good read for newlyweds!
Read
August 6, 2011Good, funny, and practical! this book can be picked up again in the future for reference.
July 11, 2012
Very good, I'd recommend it to any newlywed couple. My husband and I still refer to it, still see good growth in our marriage due to some of the great biblical principles in the book.
January 9, 2013
Simple, a little religious-y but it has some good points that could definitely help out. A quick and good read. There were a number of sports references for "men".
August 17, 2013
A great book about living the first year of marriage as holy and wholly unto God and unto one's spouse. Very practical and very thought provoking on the power of simple actions and sacrifice.
May 26, 2014
A very practical book on navigating any year of marriage.
June 9, 2014
There were some worthwhile concepts, but some didn't apply to me.
August 17, 2016
Well worth reading (even if it's past the first year mark of your marriage)! The format was great for facilitating helpful and practical discussions.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews