The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace: Know What Boosts Your Value, Kills Your Chances, and Will Make You Happier

by Cy Wakeman

The key to understanding how your manager calculates your real value―and how to boost it More than anything else, you need to understand exactly how your employer evaluates you, and your annual performance review doesn't tell the whole story. In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, Cy Wakeman shows how to calculate how your true value to your organization by understanding your current and future potential against your "emotional expense"―the toll your actions and attitudes take on the people around you. With Cy's clear, straight-to-the-point advice, you can confront and reduce your emotional costliness, become an invaluable member of your team, and even learn to love your job again. The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is the essential guide for boosting your value, owning your career, and becoming the kind of employee no organization can afford to lose.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Leadership, Self Help, Management

208 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Mandy Adams · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are some good nuggets, but overall Cy Wakeman’s approach of blindly trusting company leadership and “staying in your lane” leads to toxic workplaces where true problems are shoved under the rug and employees with real concerns are labeled as “difficult” or “not team players.”

From personal experience, I don’t recommend organizations use these materials on a company-wide basis. Whether the company means to or not, it sends a message from the top down that leadership is only interested in “yes people” and that employees should keep their mouths shut. It creates a culture where workers are afraid to speak up on important matters. In reality, even the best leadership teams need people to bring up concerns and potential gaps and pitfalls to be successful.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am reading this for work. Along with many of the other reviewers, I have been met with mixed feelings about this book including: agreeance, annoyance, and anger. There are some very valid arguments in the book including the importance of holding yourself better accountable for your goals and actions and the negatives of emotional expensiveness in the workplace. On the other hand, there are some situations or "excuses" mentioned which are perfectly valid. Sometimes they are things you can work through, and sometimes no matter how you change yourself, your views, and your effort in the workplace, they just cannot be changed. Furthermore there are often external factors that can often make it difficult to do your best and be one of those positive, personally accountable, happy-go-lucky, works-well-with-everybody people in the workplace, which need to be considered in the greater scheme of things as well. Having a team/employer who is willing to help you through any situation if you need it, is best, but that would be in a perfect world and sometimes there just is nothing to be done to change certain situations in the workplace. I have not yet finished the book, but so far have seen nothing to support the fact that sometimes, employees ARE still justified to their feelings and personal situations.

[Alexia M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very corporate-focused. Some of the advice is good but a lot of it boils down to "Your bosses can do no wrong. Suck it up and let them profit from your work."

[Beth Hatch · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those who feel undervalued in your career or constantly wonder why you can't get ahead, this book might be for you. For those of you that want to further your career but wonder what might be holding you back, this book is for you. So often we feel helpless and hopeless and burned out in our jobs but there is hope: all you have to do is take control of your own value to your organization. It's not about what your organization can do for you but what you bring to your organization, and you may be making fatal mistakes that you don't even realize -- things that aren't quantified in your evaluation -- and it could be hurting your career goals. I took the time to examine myself very carefully and realized that I too make mistakes -- I am not perfect -- and was able to learn and apply strategies to help maximize my value. I recommend this book to every working person -- just be prepared that there aren't going to be solutions to change your manager or change work policies or change the fact that things change. All you can change is yourself.

[Cori · Rating 2 out of 5]

What intrigued me: A couple of former coworkers praised this book.

What I liked:I liked the section on not telling ourselves stories. We should give each other the benefit of the doubt more. I also liked the section about taking action rather than complaining.

What I didn't like:Cy seems very corporate focused. She uses the phrase "the gift of your work" a lot in the book and I don't appreciate it. If we choose to work for a company we give them the best hours of our best days. A pay check does not mean we have to do whatever they throw at us.

Favorite quote: “The root cause of conflicts among people is ambiguity in goals, roles, and procedures.”

[Jill Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the third Cy Wakeman book that I have read. There were some really good parts about how we can find satisfaction in our current jobs by holding ourselves accountable and stop telling ourselves stories about how everyone else is holding us down.
I wouldn't suggest forcing someone to read this book. That is likely to backfire but for those already looking to improve themselves and ready to face their own role in any workplace drama, this could be a great book.

[Karin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this for work. I liked the first third the most where there were some useful quizzes. that said some of the advice borders on creating mindless workers that fall in lockstep with company policies, which relies on the assumption that the business in question really is trying to create the best possible environment for employees, which I doubt is always the case.

[Rowan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Capitalist propaganda.

This book had a few good ideas and techniques along with some decent common sense thoughts completely buried under fallacious logic, baseless statistics, and over generalizations all while perpetuating a toxic work environment.

I wrote a seven page paper on it for my boss. Oops.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have used what Cy has said in her book at my work and WOW.. it has made such a difference. Baby steps of course, but I am so happy a friend recommended the book. I want more!!!

[Dawn Lennon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Putting a real finger on the pulse of workplace dynamics separates credible books on success from superficial ones. Cy Wakeman allows no excuses for avoiding accountability at work and for perpetuating drama. She invites self-assessment of your current performance, future potential, and emotional expensiveness (the cost of any "maintenance"). With that she offers clear-headed perspectives to replace the ones that are not working in your favor along with her 5 grounded rules to boost your value and make you happier at work. This is a no-nonsense book that tackles the tough stuff with warmth and encouragement. A worthwhile read.

[Susannah Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book has some good points on adjusting your mindset around what you can control, the author’s capitalist framework and privilege seem to not consider the ways in which meritocracy is irrelevant. I would never recommend this to my fellow teachers, who feel burned out because the system is broken but we don’t want to leave our students behind, or to my students themselves, many of whom have received unfair feedback or evaluations because the evaluations are biased. Good intentions but an unexamined framework.

[SYD · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Reality Based Rules for the Workplace is a self-help book for your professional life. It focuses on the empowerment of the individual in the workplace; how you can choose not to struggle, not engage in drama, not feel drained by the end of your day, and understand your value in the workplace.
Wakeman emphasizes personal accountability/ownership and the (sometimes) unconscious or subtle ways you sabotage your own success through useless venting, complaining, lack of self-reflection, and participation in suffering. Wakeman outlines five reality based rules to live by: 1) Your level of accountability determines our level of happiness, so don’t hope to be lucky. Choose to be happy. 2) Suffering is optional, so ditch the drama. 3) Buy-in is not optional. Your action, not opinion, adds value. 4) Say “Yes” to what’s next. Change is opportunity. 5) You will always have extenuating circumstances. Succeed anyway.
Overall, I did enjoy this book and found the empowering message inspirational that can be applicable to all aspects of your life. However, this is the type of book that I personally have a better understanding of when it’s in a webinar with worksheets; things that I can underline and highlight in order to completely absorb the content. So, for me, I went to Wakeman’s website and took a look at the free resources there as well as following along with the content in this book.

[Kristine Olsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have an interest in organizational health and I decided to read this as a way to learn more about how to be and effective team player in my organization. For the record, I've read a lot more of Patrick Lencioni's works on this subject than Cy Wakeman. Both authors make their topics easily accessible to readers. They both approach their topic with a high degree of common sense. One of Lencioni's key points on organizational health is being accountable both to your team and to your organization's goals and purpose. Wakeman's book here is a great supplement to that material. She takes a deeper dive into accountability here by exploring how things can go wrong and what you can do to right your course. Those looking for excuses on why their job isn't making them happy will not find those here. If you truly want to improve at work or get some tips on how to up your game, then this book will show you a way to do just that. This book is pretty short and the prose is extremely approachable, so it is truly a lightning fast read.

[Michael Waldron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply amazing straight talk that hits you in the gut. This is one of the most direct leadership books I've read and so easy to take each chapter and directly apply to your life. Also, Cy Wakeman's description of our worth in the workplace really challenges the whole status quo and forces us to ditch the drama, focus on our current production while heading towards our future capabilities, all in one!

[Kaitlan Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d previously read Reality Based Leadership years ago (2018), and participated in the class portion as well through my hospital. The skills I learned are some of the foundations of my leadership style, but I have always struggled with Cy’s voice in her writing. It’s gruff and frankly a bit dated in the workforce, especially post-pandemic. I do feel like the philosophy she comes from is pretty sound, but her ‘get your shit together’ approach is less than desirable.

[Elissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think you're ever going to 100% buy-in to something presented in a leadership book, so I think about it as what CAN you take away from it? I got a lot out of this book and even if others don't agree with the value/ratings system, it made me reflect on my own performance and conduct at work and gave me food for thought about how to change going forward.

[Debbie Siegel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Fast read about forward sailing into a stress-free working environment. Cy Wakeman sites several scenarios to help readers stay in their lane on the highway of any workplace. A refreshing book for upper management and workers in general to consider reading. Perfect for those teachers to charge up your batteries as we get ready to head back to school in the fall.

[Lindsay L · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really did not care for this book at all. It was boring, trite, and actually pretty aggressive. The tone was very negative and the insights have all been said before. Giving 3 stars instead of two because I grabbed two nuggets of wisdom out of it that I intend to remember in the future.

[Deborah K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. It’s a must read. Today.

How to turn unconscious sabotage into meaningfully contribution in any organization. Humble yourself and take the quizzes. Start operating at a higher level of awareness. Offer this resource to others.

[Chattynatty Van Waning · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book club for work... who could say “no” to that. This was a good book and Cy, the author, is no nonsense and makes one see that they get to decide their level of happiness in the workplace. I think a needed read for the workplace.

[Diana Calingo · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some good reminders and tips in the book, but yes. There were times that I felt like, well that's probably not the best idea for the individual. With any advice or 'rules to live by' though, you take what you find useful to you and leave out everything else.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will reread this. I am subscribed to her YouTube channel, and I will read her other books.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing amazing resource

I wish I had this book 20 years ago when I first started my career. Anyone seeking to improve their performance, this is a must read!

[Zeb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid self help book filled with lots of great reminders. Nothing groundbreaking.

[Paige Pell]

I wish I had found this book years ago.

[Ashley Will · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought that this was a really good self-improvement book and I noted many parts to look back on.
I hope to use the advice in this book to be a better worker and be happier.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not a self-help reader, and had to read this for a work thing, but actually found it easy to read and pretty helpful. Will probably read the leadership version, too.

[Julia Wood]

HF 5549.5 J63 2013

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great practical advice on how to assess yourself and strive through the drama

[Jory Kunzman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book has good overarching themes on being a better coworker