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Marry Me
MARRY ME by Dan Rhodes is the sequel to his ANTHROPOLOGY AND 100 OTHER STORIES. It's ten years on. Dan still loves love. He still loves very short stories. This time he's married.
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2013
3 people are currently reading
231 people want to read
About the author
Dan Rhodes
14 books198 followersIt should be noted that a recent Gallup poll revealed that there are an estimated 14,000 writers worldwide who share Rhodes’ name. He is not to be confused with the Daniel Rhodes who writes books about vampires, or the Daniel Rhodes who writes books about ceramics, or the Dan Rhodes who writes books about theology, or the Danny Rhodes who writes teenage fiction, or the character Sheriff Dan Rhodes in Bill Crider’s Western detective series, or any of the many other Dan/Daniel/Danny Rhodeses out there in bookland.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
February 11, 2016
Even the most romantic among us can admit that some marriages are NOT made in Heaven. Some liaisons limp along for years with one or both parties dissatisfied. Some fall apart before the vows are even exchanged. Others, shortly thereafter . . .
Promise III
As I held her in my arms on our wedding night, Anemone said, 'You remember all that stuff we said earlier about staying together forever, and never doing it with anyone else?' I nodded. 'We're not going to take that too seriously, are we?'
This is another fine and funny collection of Rhodes' flash fiction. Some stories, like the above, are only one paragraph. The longest is a page and a half. All of the tales concern relationships in various states of disarray.
Romantico
When my wife returned from a holiday with her friends, I was impatient to look through her photos. I was dismayed to see that in most of them a tall, handsome man was by her side, and in quite a few they were holding hands and kissing. 'Who's he?' I asked.
She told me his name was Romatico, that they were very much in love, and that he was going to come and get her, to take her back to his country. 'I want you to think of this as a fresh start for all three of us,' she said. I tried to talk her out of it, but it was no use; all I could do was look on as she waited by the front door, her holdall by her feet. That was over six years ago and she's still waiting.
As she stood there we arranged our divorce, and after a while, I met somebody new, and remarried. At first my new wife was unsettled by her predecessor's constant presence in our hallway, but over time she's become used to her. We find it handy to have her there in case a delivery arrives while we're out. Whenever the bell rings she'll open the door in delight, and cry 'Romantico, I knew you would come,' before realising that it isn't him, sobbing a little bit, then signing for whatever's arrived. Last time it was a food processor.
League
My fiancee gazed into my eyes. 'I never thought I would get to marry someone as handsome as you,' she said.
This got me thinking. 'I am a bit out of your league, aren't I?'
She began to look afraid. 'But you will still marry me?'
'Leave it with me,' I said. 'I'll get back to you in a day or two.'
This is not Rhodes at his best. For that you'd want Little Hands Clapping or Gold. BUT, because I'm a fan of his other books, I'll round my three-point-five up to four pointy little stars for this one.
Stick
I opened the front door to find my ex-wife standing there, looking lovelier than I remembered. 'You've come back,' I cried, overcome with joy.
'God, no,' she said. 'You've completely got the wrong end of the stick. The shops are shut, and my new husband needs some WD-40. You keep some under the sink, don't you?' Hunched in defeat, I went to the kitchen to fetch it. She followed, and stood watching as I rummaged for the can. 'He's working on his motorbike,' she explained. 'With his top off.'
Promise III
As I held her in my arms on our wedding night, Anemone said, 'You remember all that stuff we said earlier about staying together forever, and never doing it with anyone else?' I nodded. 'We're not going to take that too seriously, are we?'
This is another fine and funny collection of Rhodes' flash fiction. Some stories, like the above, are only one paragraph. The longest is a page and a half. All of the tales concern relationships in various states of disarray.
Romantico
When my wife returned from a holiday with her friends, I was impatient to look through her photos. I was dismayed to see that in most of them a tall, handsome man was by her side, and in quite a few they were holding hands and kissing. 'Who's he?' I asked.
She told me his name was Romatico, that they were very much in love, and that he was going to come and get her, to take her back to his country. 'I want you to think of this as a fresh start for all three of us,' she said. I tried to talk her out of it, but it was no use; all I could do was look on as she waited by the front door, her holdall by her feet. That was over six years ago and she's still waiting.
As she stood there we arranged our divorce, and after a while, I met somebody new, and remarried. At first my new wife was unsettled by her predecessor's constant presence in our hallway, but over time she's become used to her. We find it handy to have her there in case a delivery arrives while we're out. Whenever the bell rings she'll open the door in delight, and cry 'Romantico, I knew you would come,' before realising that it isn't him, sobbing a little bit, then signing for whatever's arrived. Last time it was a food processor.
League
My fiancee gazed into my eyes. 'I never thought I would get to marry someone as handsome as you,' she said.
This got me thinking. 'I am a bit out of your league, aren't I?'
She began to look afraid. 'But you will still marry me?'
'Leave it with me,' I said. 'I'll get back to you in a day or two.'
This is not Rhodes at his best. For that you'd want Little Hands Clapping or Gold. BUT, because I'm a fan of his other books, I'll round my three-point-five up to four pointy little stars for this one.
Stick
I opened the front door to find my ex-wife standing there, looking lovelier than I remembered. 'You've come back,' I cried, overcome with joy.
'God, no,' she said. 'You've completely got the wrong end of the stick. The shops are shut, and my new husband needs some WD-40. You keep some under the sink, don't you?' Hunched in defeat, I went to the kitchen to fetch it. She followed, and stood watching as I rummaged for the can. 'He's working on his motorbike,' she explained. 'With his top off.'
April 8, 2020
A book of short sarcastic/ironic blurbs (vignettes?) About love, marriage and splitting up. Mostly the bad things we do to each other. It was funny at the start, but became repetitive.
April 30, 2019
Hell yeah, that was cynical and funny!
August 19, 2022
It's perfectly irreverent!
March 4, 2015
3.5/5
Da igual si eres hombre o mujer, si estás soltero o si tienes pareja, si aún crees en la importancia de esta institución ancestral o por el contrario eres de esos que piensan que el matrimonio es una farsa; este libro te arrancará una carcajada. El escritor británico Dan Rhodes nos propone en Cásate conmigo una sorprendente a la par que hilarante reinvención de los tópicos más frecuentes que regulan este subgénero humorístico. Aquí el romance sobra. No hay sitio para las cursilerías ni existe lugar para el optimismo entre los relatos que componen esta especie de poemario conyugal tan pasado de rosca. A veces simpático, a veces cínico, pero siempre abordando la narración de sus historias con un divertido desprecio por las convenciones sociales que giran en torno a las relaciones de pareja, Rhodes ofrece una visión inconformista del amor a través de situaciones de sobra conocidas, trasladadas a un delirante extremo: una primera cita, una inminente boda, una pedida de mano, un inesperado funeral, un salto en paracaídas... bueno, quizá esta último no sea una actividad demasiado sugerente para realizar entre dos personas, pero no cabe duda de que Dan Rhodes sabe extraerle partido a casi cualquier situación imaginable. Una lectura fresca, original, inteligente, pero también repleta de altibajos. Queda a disposición del lector decidir si abundan más los altos... o los bajos.
Da igual si eres hombre o mujer, si estás soltero o si tienes pareja, si aún crees en la importancia de esta institución ancestral o por el contrario eres de esos que piensan que el matrimonio es una farsa; este libro te arrancará una carcajada. El escritor británico Dan Rhodes nos propone en Cásate conmigo una sorprendente a la par que hilarante reinvención de los tópicos más frecuentes que regulan este subgénero humorístico. Aquí el romance sobra. No hay sitio para las cursilerías ni existe lugar para el optimismo entre los relatos que componen esta especie de poemario conyugal tan pasado de rosca. A veces simpático, a veces cínico, pero siempre abordando la narración de sus historias con un divertido desprecio por las convenciones sociales que giran en torno a las relaciones de pareja, Rhodes ofrece una visión inconformista del amor a través de situaciones de sobra conocidas, trasladadas a un delirante extremo: una primera cita, una inminente boda, una pedida de mano, un inesperado funeral, un salto en paracaídas... bueno, quizá esta último no sea una actividad demasiado sugerente para realizar entre dos personas, pero no cabe duda de que Dan Rhodes sabe extraerle partido a casi cualquier situación imaginable. Una lectura fresca, original, inteligente, pero también repleta de altibajos. Queda a disposición del lector decidir si abundan más los altos... o los bajos.
November 8, 2013
Wow. I never thought I'd find such well written interesting fiction that is so . . misogynistic. The talent is clearly here, and I love the tiny story format. Each story is clearly brilliant, and yet . . . they all left a bad taste in my mouth. The women portrayed in these stories are stereotypes of the worst types, and while yeah, some of the men aren't perfect, in every story they are deemed as superior or victimized. If you're remotely a feminist, or can't handle this type of "humour", beware this book. The stars given are for quality of the text, not for the plots or characters.
April 2, 2014
What a bizarre, cynical and unique little book. It's really a series of short (VERY short... some only a paragraph) stories, barely making it into a short novella. I think I read the whole thing in 30 minutes. Anyway, it's a bunch of short stories with very funny and cynical takes on marriage. You just have to read it to understand it. Amusing and fast.
July 30, 2025
3,5 ⭐
En Argentina tenemos un snack dulce que se llama "tutuca", que no es otra cosa que maíz inflado y azucarado. Pero, aunque es muy rico, no todos los granos de maíz tienen el sabor dulce y crocante que tanto gusta. Acá me pasó algo parecido. En este libro de relatos muy cortos me encontré con algunos muy buenos, otros apenas entretenidos y unos cuantos malos y hasta algo inocentones. Es bueno leerlo con la premisa de que, más que relatos de humor, son situaciones plagadas de ironía. Se lee de un tirón. Algunos, sino la mayoría tienen ese aire a la sección del Reader's Digest "La Risa Remedio Infalible". Interesante y la agudeza de Dan Rhodes en algunos relatos hace que bien valga la pena leerse todo el libro.
En Argentina tenemos un snack dulce que se llama "tutuca", que no es otra cosa que maíz inflado y azucarado. Pero, aunque es muy rico, no todos los granos de maíz tienen el sabor dulce y crocante que tanto gusta. Acá me pasó algo parecido. En este libro de relatos muy cortos me encontré con algunos muy buenos, otros apenas entretenidos y unos cuantos malos y hasta algo inocentones. Es bueno leerlo con la premisa de que, más que relatos de humor, son situaciones plagadas de ironía. Se lee de un tirón. Algunos, sino la mayoría tienen ese aire a la sección del Reader's Digest "La Risa Remedio Infalible". Interesante y la agudeza de Dan Rhodes en algunos relatos hace que bien valga la pena leerse todo el libro.
January 5, 2021
It’s pretty much an extension to Anthropology. I got really curious about Dan Rhodes after reading “Dont Tell Me The Truth About Love” which I absolutely adored!
I started hunting down his other titles - all the ones i could get my hands on. The stories in here were creative, i gotta say. Quite original and funny - though ive read some reviews from feminists who read it more literally, and they didnt agree with this point.
If you like the work on Simon Rich, then you’d probably enjoy this. The stories are short, mainly one or two pagers and it’s super light it’s easy to consume.
Great for mindless reading and a bit of a laugh.
I started hunting down his other titles - all the ones i could get my hands on. The stories in here were creative, i gotta say. Quite original and funny - though ive read some reviews from feminists who read it more literally, and they didnt agree with this point.
If you like the work on Simon Rich, then you’d probably enjoy this. The stories are short, mainly one or two pagers and it’s super light it’s easy to consume.
Great for mindless reading and a bit of a laugh.
July 20, 2021
This book comprises a series of anecdotes about some people's experiences with marriage, and mostly features reflections from marriage break-ups. Each 'vignette' (a bit of a grand word to use for these barely 100-200 word anecdotal notes) and perhaps these accounts might seem funny or amusing to some readers, but overall, they reflected a significant mental vacuity or seriousness in human emotion, all rather sad really.
Read
February 4, 2023Cynical in a mostly fun way but it did drag me down after awhile. A few of the stories were surprisingly sweet. I wish he hadn't written every single story from the straight male perspective - would have been very easy to mix it up a bit.
May 25, 2018
This book is funny but not as good as his other books so my least favourite hence the three stars.
February 22, 2024
½ stella
February 11, 2025
Oh my gosh, these little vignettes are absolutely hilarious!!! The writing is clever and witty. Dan Rhodes is my new favorite author.
June 29, 2021
Conjunto de minificciones que llevan al extremo del ridículo las circunstancias relacionadas con el amor (rupturas, celos, …) con un humor negro bastante ácido; pero que estimula la reflexión.
March 25, 2014
Marry Me by Rhodes contains 79 very short vignettes about love, marriage and divorce. Most of the stories are one or two pages, with one coming in at three pages.
The stories range from miscommunication, to heartfelt tenderness, to outright noir darkness. Some of them left me feeling blandly and others took my breath away. I liked the heavy stories best as the subtle ones did not go over too well with me.
My favorite stories are Ring in which a man begins to love his girlfriend more after her lobotomy. "I'm even thinking about putting a ring on her finger, to mark her as mine. She won't notice, but it'll still count." Classical is one of the best in the collection. In it, a woman composes a symphony wherein she lets her husband know that it's all over between them. In Attributes, a husband stays up all night trying to write a list of his wife's attributes. What he comes up with is one thing - she's almost kicked her heroin habit. I was very moved by Carbon. A man gives his girlfriend a piece of carbon as an engagement ring. "Now, if we can just find a way to rearrange the atoms…" he says. They put the piece of carbon ind their mattress and keep checking up on it to see it it's changed realizing "we would be a bit disappointed if it ever did." In Perfect, a couple spends so much money on their wedding that they can't pay their debts and are relegated to homelessness.
Interestingly, the women in the stories all have rather odd names. There are Alanta, Maranatha, Sunset, Silver, etc. All the stories are first person accounts from the male point of view.
The poignancy of some of the stories really moved me. They capture the feelings and confusion of intimacy. Some of them are very powerful and others just don't make it. There are enough powerful stories, however, to make this collection well worth the read.
The stories range from miscommunication, to heartfelt tenderness, to outright noir darkness. Some of them left me feeling blandly and others took my breath away. I liked the heavy stories best as the subtle ones did not go over too well with me.
My favorite stories are Ring in which a man begins to love his girlfriend more after her lobotomy. "I'm even thinking about putting a ring on her finger, to mark her as mine. She won't notice, but it'll still count." Classical is one of the best in the collection. In it, a woman composes a symphony wherein she lets her husband know that it's all over between them. In Attributes, a husband stays up all night trying to write a list of his wife's attributes. What he comes up with is one thing - she's almost kicked her heroin habit. I was very moved by Carbon. A man gives his girlfriend a piece of carbon as an engagement ring. "Now, if we can just find a way to rearrange the atoms…" he says. They put the piece of carbon ind their mattress and keep checking up on it to see it it's changed realizing "we would be a bit disappointed if it ever did." In Perfect, a couple spends so much money on their wedding that they can't pay their debts and are relegated to homelessness.
Interestingly, the women in the stories all have rather odd names. There are Alanta, Maranatha, Sunset, Silver, etc. All the stories are first person accounts from the male point of view.
The poignancy of some of the stories really moved me. They capture the feelings and confusion of intimacy. Some of them are very powerful and others just don't make it. There are enough powerful stories, however, to make this collection well worth the read.
February 3, 2013
The subject matter seems to constrain the content somewhat which wasn't as limited in anthropology, which although makes for a more focused collection it seems to deplete the quality somewhat and makes the reading process really constrained at points going through very short filler intersected with occasional flashes of brilliance. He however is one of the only writers working today who has made this form work with considerable success in retaining laugh out loud, dark, depressing and cerebral shorts. He is much better at developing these strands into longer and sustained narratives however as in his novels. I am not a fan of very short stories however and even with his brilliance making the form tangible as a viable writing expedition, I much prefer this within a longer narrative which allows the humor to be less blatant and direct, which despite retaining a stunning sense of subtlety at times, this is often done at the expense of the piece. The problem is that alongside the form built within anthropology, he now retains a prop throughout the entirety of the work. He also tells all the stories in a similar style within anthropology and now marry me, which again is probably more to do with the form limitations itself but more experimentation using the format might be in order for what is effectively going to become more recurring theme within his writing. I thoroughly recommended reading his novels if you are new to his work, especially his latest output which are some of the best pieces of comic writing in perhaps forever.
March 20, 2013
Another collection of extremely short stories from Dan Rhodes, these are very much in the style of his previous collection Anthropology. The form of the stories is actually somewhat more varied, in that those stories were all 101 words long while these range from a paragraph to a page. And many of the stories, taken individually, are enjoyable and interesting to read. But taken together, this new collection lacks the variety, depth and coherence of Anthropology. My review of that collection said the stories "amount to an anthropology of modern relationships, capturing the full range of emotions from funny to romantic to sad." In contrast, Marry Me is depressingly monotonous, with story after story about broken off engagements, divorce, affairs, superficial focus on looks, etc. Any one of them is fine--or even a novel length version of any one of them would have been fine--but dozens of separate stories all with the same point gets tedious and painful.
To give a sample, here is one of the stories, titled "Anniversary":
"On our first anniversary I held Maranatha’s hand, looked into her eyes and told her that even though I wouldn’t have thought it possible I loved her even more deeply than I had on our wedding day.
"‘It’s funny,’ she said. ‘I’ve gone completely the other way. Come to think of it, I’m amazed I’ve stayed as long as I have. There’s no way I’m going to be here next year.’"
To give a sample, here is one of the stories, titled "Anniversary":
"On our first anniversary I held Maranatha’s hand, looked into her eyes and told her that even though I wouldn’t have thought it possible I loved her even more deeply than I had on our wedding day.
"‘It’s funny,’ she said. ‘I’ve gone completely the other way. Come to think of it, I’m amazed I’ve stayed as long as I have. There’s no way I’m going to be here next year.’"
January 26, 2016
A collection of 70+ quirky, whimsical and sometimes sad pieces of flash fiction about love, heartbreak and marriage. An excellent palate cleanser to read between longer books.
A sample:
SCIENCE:
I was delighted when my scientist girlfriend agreed to become my fiancée. 'This is the happiest moment of my life,' I said.
'Mine too,' she replied. 'I'm experiencing an unprecedented rush of dopamine and norepinephrine. Of course, the production of these particular neurotransmitters will decrease over time, but I have a pretty good feeling our vasopressin levels will remain adequate, and we'll be fine for the long haul. But never mind all that,'she said, taking off her goggles and unbuttoning her lab coat. 'What do you say we release a bit of the old oxytocin?'
A sample:
SCIENCE:
I was delighted when my scientist girlfriend agreed to become my fiancée. 'This is the happiest moment of my life,' I said.
'Mine too,' she replied. 'I'm experiencing an unprecedented rush of dopamine and norepinephrine. Of course, the production of these particular neurotransmitters will decrease over time, but I have a pretty good feeling our vasopressin levels will remain adequate, and we'll be fine for the long haul. But never mind all that,'she said, taking off her goggles and unbuttoning her lab coat. 'What do you say we release a bit of the old oxytocin?'
December 24, 2012
This is a collection of short (and VERY short) stories about engagement, marriage and divorce. It has to be said that the vast majority of these relationships are pretty much 100% dysfunctional and in part this is one reason why I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. Many of these stories are quite amusing and a few made me giggle... but overall I didn't think this was as successful as it could have been. Having said this it could make an amusing gift for people especially as Valentines gets closer.
December 1, 2014
A collection of truly bizarre stories -- no, odd "thoughts" -- about marriage. Very short, some only 50 words, and some maybe 200. Perfect for passing the time between subway stops. All written from the male perspective. Just don't overthink these.
A sample:
Several years into our engagement, I took my fiancee's hand and told her that the time had finally come for us to pin down a wedding date.
'This is awkward,' she said. 'I was really drunk when I agreed to all that, and sober there's jut no way.
February 15, 2015
I picked this up because the Washington Post listed it among its top 50 fiction books for 2014. The good part is that you can finish this in one sitting -- I did so while eating lunch at a restaurant.
Most of the stories are about a page long, so that's great for folks like me with a short attention span.
But there's something lacking in most of the stories -- the punch at the end of the story never quite arrives.
To be sure, there are some very clever stories, such as the woman who ends her marriage in the form of a resignation letter of sorts. But those are few and far between.
Most of the stories are about a page long, so that's great for folks like me with a short attention span.
But there's something lacking in most of the stories -- the punch at the end of the story never quite arrives.
To be sure, there are some very clever stories, such as the woman who ends her marriage in the form of a resignation letter of sorts. But those are few and far between.
January 11, 2015
This was basically the sequel to Anthropology, and this time the (ex)girlfriends were all (ex)wives. Again, there were some really good ones, a lot of average ones, a couple that led absolutely nowhere, and a few that creeped me out (like the final story in this book).
Somehow I found this less repetitive than Anthropology, but that might have been because I read it in one go in the middle of the night and just wasn't as focused because of it. Anyway, I enjoyed some of the stories more than the ones in it's "prequel", but I also felt some were a bit off...
Somehow I found this less repetitive than Anthropology, but that might have been because I read it in one go in the middle of the night and just wasn't as focused because of it. Anyway, I enjoyed some of the stories more than the ones in it's "prequel", but I also felt some were a bit off...
June 7, 2013
Not Dan's best work, but certainly among his most accessible. Ostensibly a sequel to Anthropology, this is a collection of flash fiction on the theme of marriage. Some of the stories work better than others, and there is some repetition in situations and themes, but Rhodes' familiar humour is present throughout. 'Androids' and 'Freud' were particular favourites. Probably a book best dipped into rather than read from start to finish.
May 8, 2014
"On our first anniversary I held Maranatha's hand, looked into her eyes and told her that even though I wouldn't have thought it possible I loved her more deeply than I had on our wedding day.
'It's funny,' she said. 'I've gone completely the other way. Come to think of it, I'm amazed I've stayed as long as I have. There's no way I'm going to be here next year."
SMH. The stories in this book lol. Funnynotfunny.
'It's funny,' she said. 'I've gone completely the other way. Come to think of it, I'm amazed I've stayed as long as I have. There's no way I'm going to be here next year."
SMH. The stories in this book lol. Funnynotfunny.
April 14, 2013
Just didn't have the charm of his novels. I expected vignettes to be similar to the quirky, discomfiting, and honest glimpse into romantic relationships found in his novels, but there was no joy here and the bits all follow the same basic unhappy patterns. Too bad. But I have faith, and will look forward to the next Rhodes novel for my fix.
February 16, 2014
Recommended with qualifications: the stories in this slender book are best taken a handful at a time; taken all together, they become a little too repetitive and shallow to be successful. Still, the best of them are acidly funny, and there were a few times when I even laughed out loud. They'd go over great in a public reading.
May 13, 2014
I'm still sticking with my initial comments halfway through the book.
won't take you more than half hour as most stories are really short.
Some felt repetitive. A couple of highlights only.
Not one of his best... quite disappointed. The quirky stories.. though a few earned the 2 stars.. the rest meh.
borrow it from the library or a friend who has it.
get his other stuff.
won't take you more than half hour as most stories are really short.
Some felt repetitive. A couple of highlights only.
Not one of his best... quite disappointed. The quirky stories.. though a few earned the 2 stars.. the rest meh.
borrow it from the library or a friend who has it.
get his other stuff.
January 11, 2015
It is a very short read as I read it in a day. Overall the book is funny in a bitter-sweet way. You will feel sorry for some of the characters while others pretty much deserve whats coming to them, and there was one that was just cruel. My favorite part is the one with the children. Good book to read if your mad at your partner, it will help get a giggle out.
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