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What to Say When Things Get Tough: Business Communication Strategies for Winning People Over When They're Angry, Worried and Suspicious of Everything You Say
Leonard S. Greenberger is a partner at one of today's most successful public relations firms. In What to Say When Things Get Tough , this seasoned expert offers verbal and nonverbal skills for handling communication crises in any public forum. "This book is one of the best guidebooks on the practice of public relations that I have seen." -- Jim Owen, Executive Director, Member Relations, Edison Electric Institute "If you want to learn why PowerPoint is a very poor way to present, why empathy works wonders, how positive messages, eye contact, and the right facial expressions can add up to make you overwhelmingly effective--or not--then this book is for you." -- Ari Weinzweig, cofounder and founding partner, Zingerman's, and author of Zingerman's Guide to Giving Great Service and Zingerman's Guide to Good Leading "Every business professional should have a copy on the shelf and pull it down whenever a tough situation presents itself." -- Win Porter, President, Waste Policy Center, former Assistant Administrator for Solid Waste and Emergency Response, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
November 22, 2013
I have found this book to be full of usefull advised, how to approach, prepare, when difficulties are faced.
April 21, 2025
What to Say When Things Get Tough: Business Communication Strategies for Winning People Over When They're Angry, Worried and Suspicious of: Business Communication ... and Suspicious of Everything You Say by Leonard S. Greenberger
The author is a D.C.-based Public Communications Counselor and working in a PR firm that helps clients going through sudden crises – such as scandals, natural disasters, etc. He makes it clear that he’s offering his firm’s current (2013) advice, so no idea how the tables may have turned by 2025. He cites plenty of scientific research to support the basic tenets he provides regarding body language that is probably universal. The advice is also limited to public engagements, such as a city council meeting or a press conference or TV interview where you expect to get grilled. But there’s also some advice for when firing someone (note: the advice provided requires you also have experience being fired in order to fully empathize with the individual). His hypothetical examples are perfect situations.
Biggest takeaways:
Public perception equals reality. Your public reputation is everything.
Emotions always trump facts – you have to calm emotions before people will even hear facts.
(Perhaps most interesting) Success equates to not using negative messaging. Do no use the word “not” in your response to a question. Don’t say “I’m not a crook,” and instead say “I always obey the law.” Don’t respond with “That’s not true,” instead state “The truth is that ____.”
Third parties bring credibility, so bringing someone else in who can endorse you is critical.
Using jargon diminishes trust and credibility, so never use it, even with common words like “CEO.”
In the public sphere, it’s particularly important to show empathy; telling stories that make a personal connection and make you seem relatable. He walks through some then-recent examples such as BP’s CEO statements during the Gulf oil spill and David Axelrod’s successful selling of the Affordable Care Act by making an empathetic connection with a personal story about his daughter with cerebral palsy.
Always dress one step above the audience (ie: if your audience is business casual, you should wear a tie). Showing your palms is particularly important, this gesture calms the audience. Avoid self-deprecating humor as this will lower your credibility. Don’t even smile unless you know for sure it won’t lower your “credibility score” with the audience. If speaking publicly, don’t use a podium– put no barriers between you and the audience, and if sitting behind a table, lean towards the audience whenever possible. Avoid crossing your arms as well.
Do not use risk comparisons, such as saying “this landfill is safer for your health than your drive home from work each day.” Emotions trump facts, so a public audience very rarely absorbs data. (Economists like me are quite frustrated by this fact.) Don’t fall into the "guarantee trap"– when asked to guarantee a particular outcome, don’t say “no” or “I can’t,” but instead have a prepared "what I CAN guarantee..."
The author writes that women have higher “credibility scores” or “code scores” than men in person, so it’s a good idea to use a woman for your public relations. However, for biographies and resumés, women need to list more academic and professional credentials than men, who are already assumed to be experts. Men instead need to focus on other extracurricular activities that will make them more empathetic and more human-like to the reader or audience.
Greenberger ended on a sour note which is ironic given all the other public relations advice he provides. He tries to use a personal story to make himself more relatable and give what he thinks is a good example, but I felt it was not that at all. He recounted how he and his ex-wife broke the difficult news to their 11 and 7 year old kids that their parents were getting a divorce. He rehearsed beforehand and gave them a canned speech about how when he was their age, his parents announced the family was moving to a new city; he had thought it was the end of the world, but it wasn’t, and he turned out fine– so they will turn out fine also. His kids are now grown, and he feels they turned out fine, so that’s the proof he offers. Yikes, not a great look.
The author recommends the book Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, and Heen (see my review).
3.5 stars
The author is a D.C.-based Public Communications Counselor and working in a PR firm that helps clients going through sudden crises – such as scandals, natural disasters, etc. He makes it clear that he’s offering his firm’s current (2013) advice, so no idea how the tables may have turned by 2025. He cites plenty of scientific research to support the basic tenets he provides regarding body language that is probably universal. The advice is also limited to public engagements, such as a city council meeting or a press conference or TV interview where you expect to get grilled. But there’s also some advice for when firing someone (note: the advice provided requires you also have experience being fired in order to fully empathize with the individual). His hypothetical examples are perfect situations.
Biggest takeaways:
Public perception equals reality. Your public reputation is everything.
Emotions always trump facts – you have to calm emotions before people will even hear facts.
(Perhaps most interesting) Success equates to not using negative messaging. Do no use the word “not” in your response to a question. Don’t say “I’m not a crook,” and instead say “I always obey the law.” Don’t respond with “That’s not true,” instead state “The truth is that ____.”
Third parties bring credibility, so bringing someone else in who can endorse you is critical.
Using jargon diminishes trust and credibility, so never use it, even with common words like “CEO.”
In the public sphere, it’s particularly important to show empathy; telling stories that make a personal connection and make you seem relatable. He walks through some then-recent examples such as BP’s CEO statements during the Gulf oil spill and David Axelrod’s successful selling of the Affordable Care Act by making an empathetic connection with a personal story about his daughter with cerebral palsy.
Always dress one step above the audience (ie: if your audience is business casual, you should wear a tie). Showing your palms is particularly important, this gesture calms the audience. Avoid self-deprecating humor as this will lower your credibility. Don’t even smile unless you know for sure it won’t lower your “credibility score” with the audience. If speaking publicly, don’t use a podium– put no barriers between you and the audience, and if sitting behind a table, lean towards the audience whenever possible. Avoid crossing your arms as well.
Do not use risk comparisons, such as saying “this landfill is safer for your health than your drive home from work each day.” Emotions trump facts, so a public audience very rarely absorbs data. (Economists like me are quite frustrated by this fact.) Don’t fall into the "guarantee trap"– when asked to guarantee a particular outcome, don’t say “no” or “I can’t,” but instead have a prepared "what I CAN guarantee..."
The author writes that women have higher “credibility scores” or “code scores” than men in person, so it’s a good idea to use a woman for your public relations. However, for biographies and resumés, women need to list more academic and professional credentials than men, who are already assumed to be experts. Men instead need to focus on other extracurricular activities that will make them more empathetic and more human-like to the reader or audience.
Greenberger ended on a sour note which is ironic given all the other public relations advice he provides. He tries to use a personal story to make himself more relatable and give what he thinks is a good example, but I felt it was not that at all. He recounted how he and his ex-wife broke the difficult news to their 11 and 7 year old kids that their parents were getting a divorce. He rehearsed beforehand and gave them a canned speech about how when he was their age, his parents announced the family was moving to a new city; he had thought it was the end of the world, but it wasn’t, and he turned out fine– so they will turn out fine also. His kids are now grown, and he feels they turned out fine, so that’s the proof he offers. Yikes, not a great look.
The author recommends the book Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, and Heen (see my review).
3.5 stars
August 6, 2019
It's a very nice book where the author explained how to handle the crisis situation through his experience and sample cases.
January 26, 2026
Must read for anyone in comms or leadership positions!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews