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Molesworth #2
How to Be Topp
All skools make some sort at teaching the pupils things and the headmaster pin up a huge timetable of lessons ect. which make the heart sink when you look at it. Nigel Molesworth is back, this time taking the tinies in hand and showing that they can survive the first term - as long as you avoid the prefects and show all due respect to Molesworth 1. Back to Skool might be particularly hard on Mater and Pater, but think of those poor new bugs, forced to be their best at Latin, English, foopball and French (Armand in his striped shirt and feeble questions). Just follow his timeless advice, however, and you too could be Topp.
106 pages, Unknown Binding
First published January 1, 1954
11 people are currently reading
237 people want to read
About the author
Geoffrey Willans
39 books28 followersHerbert Geoffrey Willans was an English author and journalist, is best known as the co-creator, with the illustrator Ronald Searle, of Nigel Molesworth, the "goriller of 3b and curse of St. Custard's".
He was educated at Blundells School, Tiverton, and became a schoolmaster there. Molesworth first appeared in Punch in the 1940s and was the protagonist and narrator of five books, beginning with 1953's Down with Skool!, and followed by How to be Topp, Wizz for Atomms and, posthumously, Back in the Jug Agane and the anthology, The Compleet Molesworth. Comic misspellings, erratic capitalisation and 1950s public schoolboy slang are threads running through all the books.
According to Ronald Searle in his obituary:
"His cunning was more refined than Bunter...Willans was delighted that schoolmasters, far from feeling publicly disrobed, were in fact giving away his books as end of school prizes."
Willans co-wrote the screenplay for the 1959 film The Bridal Path, which starred George Cole, but died at the age of 47 before the film was released. He also wrote a number of other, mostly humorous, books, including The Dog's Ear Book (also with Searle), My Uncle Harry (an exploration of the British gentlemen's club), Fasten Your Lapstraps! (an account of the early days of intercontinental flight), and Admiral on Horseback (a rather serious one about the navy). He was a keen amateur botanist, and spent so long in the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew that the staff gave him a key.
A review in The Times newspaper describes The Whistling Arrow as having a futuristic aeroplane as the 'heroine'. "It is his apparent strength in writing about planes and the people that flew them." The reviewer compares it with one of Evelyn Waugh's earlier novels.
He was educated at Blundells School, Tiverton, and became a schoolmaster there. Molesworth first appeared in Punch in the 1940s and was the protagonist and narrator of five books, beginning with 1953's Down with Skool!, and followed by How to be Topp, Wizz for Atomms and, posthumously, Back in the Jug Agane and the anthology, The Compleet Molesworth. Comic misspellings, erratic capitalisation and 1950s public schoolboy slang are threads running through all the books.
According to Ronald Searle in his obituary:
"His cunning was more refined than Bunter...Willans was delighted that schoolmasters, far from feeling publicly disrobed, were in fact giving away his books as end of school prizes."
Willans co-wrote the screenplay for the 1959 film The Bridal Path, which starred George Cole, but died at the age of 47 before the film was released. He also wrote a number of other, mostly humorous, books, including The Dog's Ear Book (also with Searle), My Uncle Harry (an exploration of the British gentlemen's club), Fasten Your Lapstraps! (an account of the early days of intercontinental flight), and Admiral on Horseback (a rather serious one about the navy). He was a keen amateur botanist, and spent so long in the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew that the staff gave him a key.
A review in The Times newspaper describes The Whistling Arrow as having a futuristic aeroplane as the 'heroine'. "It is his apparent strength in writing about planes and the people that flew them." The reviewer compares it with one of Evelyn Waugh's earlier novels.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
July 4, 2012
Every ten years or so, I re-read this, and the older I am the funnier it gets. This is the kind of humour that makes Monty Python look conventional. Nigel Molesworth, who as any fule kno is the curse of st custards, fights a non-stop battle against mad maths masters, combative maters, his younger brother and the vagaries of the skool curriculum (I admit that I am still no more convinced of the importance of Latin than Sir N. Molesworth, QC.) And for a bonus: the first use of the name 'Hogwarts' in education that I know. That's a mystery that I would love to have explained, and alas, I'll probably never get to the bottom of it.
One of the all-time classics.
One of the all-time classics.
September 9, 2016
Yar boo sucks to new bugs and BEST EVER: Ronald Searle's illustrations of the Private Life of the Gerund.
Social snobery. A gerund 'cuts' a gerundive
Social snobery. A gerund 'cuts' a gerundive
January 23, 2015
I read and reread this many times in my younger days, laughing just as hard, and many quotes have stayed in usage. Love Fortheringham Thomas, who's a 'bit of a wet' and the descriptions of the old school piano; this note goes plunk, this note do not play at all since - was it Molesworth 2? - put his chewing gum under it.
Ronald Searle's line drawings are equally witty.
It's a classic, perhaps timeless for some. Yar boo sucks!
Fond memories.
When did I finish the book? Which time?
Ronald Searle's line drawings are equally witty.
It's a classic, perhaps timeless for some. Yar boo sucks!
Fond memories.
When did I finish the book? Which time?
September 4, 2024
best book as any fule kno
July 7, 2025
How To Be Topp written by Geoffrey Willans, drawings by Ronald Searle – this is the second part of Molesworth, which is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read list, in the comedy section…the first part is Down With Skool http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/07/d...
9 out of 10
The enthusiasm of reading the first part of Molesworth, Down With Skool, has been replaced by the disengagement with the second installment, How To Be Topp, which could well be as good as Skool, maybe even better, it is just that the conditions for Flow http://realini.blogspot.com/2016/10/f... as they are explained in the magnum opus written by the co-founder of Positive Psychology, Mihaly Csiksentmihalyi, and if met, they bring you in The Zone, you reach the Zenith
The conditions are challenges are balanced by skills, time is relative, you are in control, goals are clear, feedback is constant and immediate, it is an autotelic experience, concentration and intensity are at a maximum’…alas, the protagonists of How To Be Topp – and for that matter, they are the same as in Down With Skool, it is just that the novelty might have worn thin, the patience of going through the text has been used, there is this attention deficit, the use we now have of reaching for the phone every other minute, or second, and the need to fill in the time with exciting news, amusing videos, porn, and then what is not entirely hilarious, accessible immediately, will lose for the fast and the furious – speak a language that is hard to follow at times, especially in its written form, evident in the titles – Skool and Topp
When compared with the exquisite, erudite, majestic, penetrating, august writing of The King of Comedy, Kingsley Amis, the light amusement of Molesworth will pale – I have learned the other day that Martin Amis http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/t... the son of the Magister Ludi, and himself a phenomenal author – this is something unique, it is evidently rare to have the talent to be the best author of comedy, but how insignificant are the chances that father and son are both brilliant and part of the crème de la crème – has died over the weekend, and he was only just over seventy – may he rest in peace, I wish I had appreciated him more…
Aside from The Information, I was not able to enjoy Money http://realini.blogspot.com/2020/03/m... all that much, and then had to abandon Time’s Arrow altogether, this points to the fact that this reader is challenged, in that there are appreciated works that fall by the side, when he is trying to absorb them…Martin Amis has another book that has been adapted and has made some headlines at the 2023 Cannes Film Festival – opened somehow by a less worthy production, if you ask me that is, du Barry, with a Johnny Depp that is more than, or worse than controversial as Louis XV, and critics said he ‘does not seem comfortable in the role’, directed by a woman, Maiwaenn, or thereabouts, who has acknowledged that she had pulled a journalist by the hair – just for writing about her ex-husband, Luc Besson, and some others, who have been accused of sexual abuse – and spiting on him, she is abject and I react her and the work, albeit, who knows, maybe I will see the movie and like some of it, seeing as I have such terrible expectations…
First of all, from here on, it looks as if there will be nothing more about How To Be Topp (not that there has been much, except I did not like it, so far) and I see that my thoughts are concerned with this trend and I am taking you for an uncalled analyst, exposing worries and recent, or ancient events – speaking of shrinks , my daughter is determined to take on long sessions with one, in Amsterdam, because she says they diagnosed her with a depression syndrome, which is something large parts of the population suffers from, indeed, her father has been to see a psychiatrist, when he has been abandoned by the local Miss of The Realm, and then he could not cope with this major blow and felt like it is the end of all
There are a series of misfires, which might be a sign of things to come – Andrei Plesu http://realini.blogspot.com/2017/01/e... the brightest mind we have here, and if we analyze it further, maybe the best you and all of us have, at least on many issues (he has some blind spots, for instance his take on giraffes and rhinoceros is a bit off, if funny still) speaks in a lecture that is on YouTube about old age, how we are responsible of the way we look, after a certain point, the fact that we can get along with so much, when we pass a threshold, that ‘it is not what you think that gives way, it is the knees’, apparently one can get an erection into his eighties or so, but there is the challenge of the knees, how we get to be virtuous, for desires of this kind are few and far with age, and we do not need to make the efforts of younger ages, we just do not think of sex anymore…
How will this tendency to abandon books fits into this pattern, I wonder – I have adored Changing Places http://realini.blogspot.com/2021/05/a... by David Lodge, was enthused by Small World, the second part, but by the time I came close to the end of the Campus Trilogy, with Nice Work, I was just as exhilarated as with How To Be Topp, the difference would be that it was much easier to read Nice Work than Topp, the latter has these pages that are filled with the mistakes made by the main character, in itself, reason for felicity and laughter, but only for so long
Troubles by JG Farrell was yet another magical experience, a miracle, and the continuation, The Siege of Krishnapur http://realini.blogspot.com/2020/01/t... was another ravishing encounter, only with the end of the Trilogy, The Siege of Singapore was not just another letdown, it simply had to be abandoned, I got so annoyed with the long (way too long for my obviously impaired capacities) description of the battles, mistakes, preposterous decisions taken in the fight for what had been thought an impregnable city that I had to put a stop to all of it, before I fly for Burma
Now for a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/u... – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se
As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/r...
9 out of 10
The enthusiasm of reading the first part of Molesworth, Down With Skool, has been replaced by the disengagement with the second installment, How To Be Topp, which could well be as good as Skool, maybe even better, it is just that the conditions for Flow http://realini.blogspot.com/2016/10/f... as they are explained in the magnum opus written by the co-founder of Positive Psychology, Mihaly Csiksentmihalyi, and if met, they bring you in The Zone, you reach the Zenith
The conditions are challenges are balanced by skills, time is relative, you are in control, goals are clear, feedback is constant and immediate, it is an autotelic experience, concentration and intensity are at a maximum’…alas, the protagonists of How To Be Topp – and for that matter, they are the same as in Down With Skool, it is just that the novelty might have worn thin, the patience of going through the text has been used, there is this attention deficit, the use we now have of reaching for the phone every other minute, or second, and the need to fill in the time with exciting news, amusing videos, porn, and then what is not entirely hilarious, accessible immediately, will lose for the fast and the furious – speak a language that is hard to follow at times, especially in its written form, evident in the titles – Skool and Topp
When compared with the exquisite, erudite, majestic, penetrating, august writing of The King of Comedy, Kingsley Amis, the light amusement of Molesworth will pale – I have learned the other day that Martin Amis http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/t... the son of the Magister Ludi, and himself a phenomenal author – this is something unique, it is evidently rare to have the talent to be the best author of comedy, but how insignificant are the chances that father and son are both brilliant and part of the crème de la crème – has died over the weekend, and he was only just over seventy – may he rest in peace, I wish I had appreciated him more…
Aside from The Information, I was not able to enjoy Money http://realini.blogspot.com/2020/03/m... all that much, and then had to abandon Time’s Arrow altogether, this points to the fact that this reader is challenged, in that there are appreciated works that fall by the side, when he is trying to absorb them…Martin Amis has another book that has been adapted and has made some headlines at the 2023 Cannes Film Festival – opened somehow by a less worthy production, if you ask me that is, du Barry, with a Johnny Depp that is more than, or worse than controversial as Louis XV, and critics said he ‘does not seem comfortable in the role’, directed by a woman, Maiwaenn, or thereabouts, who has acknowledged that she had pulled a journalist by the hair – just for writing about her ex-husband, Luc Besson, and some others, who have been accused of sexual abuse – and spiting on him, she is abject and I react her and the work, albeit, who knows, maybe I will see the movie and like some of it, seeing as I have such terrible expectations…
First of all, from here on, it looks as if there will be nothing more about How To Be Topp (not that there has been much, except I did not like it, so far) and I see that my thoughts are concerned with this trend and I am taking you for an uncalled analyst, exposing worries and recent, or ancient events – speaking of shrinks , my daughter is determined to take on long sessions with one, in Amsterdam, because she says they diagnosed her with a depression syndrome, which is something large parts of the population suffers from, indeed, her father has been to see a psychiatrist, when he has been abandoned by the local Miss of The Realm, and then he could not cope with this major blow and felt like it is the end of all
There are a series of misfires, which might be a sign of things to come – Andrei Plesu http://realini.blogspot.com/2017/01/e... the brightest mind we have here, and if we analyze it further, maybe the best you and all of us have, at least on many issues (he has some blind spots, for instance his take on giraffes and rhinoceros is a bit off, if funny still) speaks in a lecture that is on YouTube about old age, how we are responsible of the way we look, after a certain point, the fact that we can get along with so much, when we pass a threshold, that ‘it is not what you think that gives way, it is the knees’, apparently one can get an erection into his eighties or so, but there is the challenge of the knees, how we get to be virtuous, for desires of this kind are few and far with age, and we do not need to make the efforts of younger ages, we just do not think of sex anymore…
How will this tendency to abandon books fits into this pattern, I wonder – I have adored Changing Places http://realini.blogspot.com/2021/05/a... by David Lodge, was enthused by Small World, the second part, but by the time I came close to the end of the Campus Trilogy, with Nice Work, I was just as exhilarated as with How To Be Topp, the difference would be that it was much easier to read Nice Work than Topp, the latter has these pages that are filled with the mistakes made by the main character, in itself, reason for felicity and laughter, but only for so long
Troubles by JG Farrell was yet another magical experience, a miracle, and the continuation, The Siege of Krishnapur http://realini.blogspot.com/2020/01/t... was another ravishing encounter, only with the end of the Trilogy, The Siege of Singapore was not just another letdown, it simply had to be abandoned, I got so annoyed with the long (way too long for my obviously impaired capacities) description of the battles, mistakes, preposterous decisions taken in the fight for what had been thought an impregnable city that I had to put a stop to all of it, before I fly for Burma
Now for a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/u... – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se
As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/r...
November 9, 2016
In which Nigel Molesworth and his chums Peason, Gillibrand, Grabber, Molesworth 2 and of course Fotherington-Tomas, gives his tips on surviving and thriving lessons, teachers, parents and Christmas. Plus a fascinating look into the habits of the Gerund, hem, hem.
August 15, 2012
Entertaining, but not as much as down with skool.
January 13, 2013
a book im reading again even though my tastes have changed over the years this is still funny
December 7, 2013
One of my all time favorite books. Very funny!!!
July 26, 2015
down with skool
September 19, 2017
I have never laughed so hard while reading a book.
April 12, 2020
US Readers might have a tough time with this.
First, that three stars is for US audiences only. I understand what Willans was doing -- I really do. He's emulating the style of a schoolboy, and one who's flunking his classes, at that. Unfortunately, my school pounded "correct English & perfect spelling" into my brain HARD, so reading Willans's Molesworth's writing (typical kid with very...creative...spelling) was near-impossible for me. I got exhausted going back over every sentence several times to figure out what was being said. All the British schoolkid slang didn't help, either, and moreso because it's probably outdated slang. Worse, the book is based solidly in the British school system of the 1950s, so most of it whooshed waaaaaay over my head.
Before ANYONE gets mad at this ignorant US person slanging on their beloved book -- the fault is entirely mine. I'm a Yank who's too firmly entrenched in US culture. There were some points where I understood what The Terror of St Custards was saying, and those points were hilarious. The points where Molesworth slips back into correct grammatical English were hilarious -- his parody of a Latin Classical play had me giggling. Yeah, we got that stuff forced into our heads in high school (a Catholic private school). I loved realizing where JK Rowling got the name of Hogwarts! There were definitely parts where the British school experience intersected with US school experience, and those were likewise funny as hell -- again, when I finally figured out what Molesworth was saying.
US folks, it's similar to a prose Calvin & Hobbes without the toy tiger and with horrible spelling. If for no other reason, check this book out for Searles' wonderful illustrations. I really, really wanted to enjoy the whole book. Sadly, my American background blocked it, and the deliberately-bad spelling & grammar only made my eyes hurt.
I'd stumbled on the TVTropes entry for this series, found the listed tropes and descriptions of various scenes funny, and checked out this book & its predecessor (Down with Skool) on the strength of that. However, the culture gap was too great for me, the Molesworth writing style too much.
British folks, you'll likely love this book. US folks? Probably not. I'm too much a fule to kno.
First, that three stars is for US audiences only. I understand what Willans was doing -- I really do. He's emulating the style of a schoolboy, and one who's flunking his classes, at that. Unfortunately, my school pounded "correct English & perfect spelling" into my brain HARD, so reading Willans's Molesworth's writing (typical kid with very...creative...spelling) was near-impossible for me. I got exhausted going back over every sentence several times to figure out what was being said. All the British schoolkid slang didn't help, either, and moreso because it's probably outdated slang. Worse, the book is based solidly in the British school system of the 1950s, so most of it whooshed waaaaaay over my head.
Before ANYONE gets mad at this ignorant US person slanging on their beloved book -- the fault is entirely mine. I'm a Yank who's too firmly entrenched in US culture. There were some points where I understood what The Terror of St Custards was saying, and those points were hilarious. The points where Molesworth slips back into correct grammatical English were hilarious -- his parody of a Latin Classical play had me giggling. Yeah, we got that stuff forced into our heads in high school (a Catholic private school). I loved realizing where JK Rowling got the name of Hogwarts! There were definitely parts where the British school experience intersected with US school experience, and those were likewise funny as hell -- again, when I finally figured out what Molesworth was saying.
US folks, it's similar to a prose Calvin & Hobbes without the toy tiger and with horrible spelling. If for no other reason, check this book out for Searles' wonderful illustrations. I really, really wanted to enjoy the whole book. Sadly, my American background blocked it, and the deliberately-bad spelling & grammar only made my eyes hurt.
I'd stumbled on the TVTropes entry for this series, found the listed tropes and descriptions of various scenes funny, and checked out this book & its predecessor (Down with Skool) on the strength of that. However, the culture gap was too great for me, the Molesworth writing style too much.
British folks, you'll likely love this book. US folks? Probably not. I'm too much a fule to kno.
September 3, 2019
More words of wisdom [sic] from Nigel Molesworth, this time offering tips on how to be "topp" [sic] in various school subjects. My advice is not to follow N. Molesworth's advice.
Not quite as funny as "Down with School!" (N. Molesworth's first opus) in my opinion, it still has some topping stuff, e.g. how to be topp in french, a discussion of Xmas, and an obsession with space.
Not quite as funny as "Down with School!" (N. Molesworth's first opus) in my opinion, it still has some topping stuff, e.g. how to be topp in french, a discussion of Xmas, and an obsession with space.
January 14, 2022
I thought this was funny as a kid, so long ago. But now mainly see it as a cynical and sarcastic view of school and childhood. It was written about boarding schools and fairly rich kids (like in the days of MAGNET papers), and had little if anything to do with my school days. Still, there are some funny moments.
December 28, 2024
Skul hound skullking in my mind snekily as i duble bak to review another molesworth. Could this be the gratest classic of them all? Do we ask the gerund left out in the cold, no place for it in one of my sentences? My brane quotes this book, multiple times a day i fear, chiz etz. Love. Love.
April 23, 2018
I want to be Nigel Molesworth.
April 14, 2023
A chiz (which is a swiz or a swindle, as any fule kno)
February 24, 2015
This is the second book in the Molesworth tetralogy and it’s as wonderful as the first. As well as more insights into the world of St Custard’s school we get amusing tales of Christmas at the Molesworth residence. Molesworth opines that Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” isn’t anywhere near as good as stories about space. The fascination with space is a lovely feature of these books, highlighting that they were written in the nineteen-fifties. Nowadays Molesworth’s tips for success in lessons would be called life hacks and he’d be a youtube vlogger. Searle’s wonderful illustrations complement the book splendidly. I enjoyed this book so much that I began reading the third Molesworth book straight after. I hope his amusingly bad spelling doesn’t rub off on me.
September 23, 2024
The second book in the 'Molesworth' sequence, this is perhaps even funnier than *Down With Skool*. The humour has become even more offbeat and condensed. Nigel Molesworth here presents his guide on how to succeed in every subject in the school curriculum, though it is almost always safer to completely avoid his advice... Many of the sly jokes are designed to go over the heads of young readers and appeal to adults. Extraordinary stuff.
August 5, 2016
Lots of chortles (chiz, chiz) the best saved for the last with big belly laugh for Christmas. Think I may have started reading this in Miss Kitchen's class (1966) which could make it the longest I've ever taken over a book. Probably would have enjoyed it then but would have laughed at different jokes.
September 19, 2024
Molesworth is a joy forever. One wonders about the mature (?) adult Molesworth and those buxom matrons he seems obsessed with: probably selling their husbands dodgy shares and robbing their jewel boxes. chiz chiz rats.
May 6, 2008
The humor in this is a bit obscure and beyond my American comprehension, but I really enjoyed the silly thing. It is illustrated by Richard Searle.
May 17, 2012
"This is a book for everyone over nine who wants to laugh, and knows how to spell."
Read
February 2, 2014it's a hoot - for 1954; & once you get past 'Nigel's' ridiculous spelling & atomic London slang! -good sections on Latin & Sport!
July 12, 2016
Just a fun romp. Be prepared to laugh out loud.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews