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Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counterintuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life, with a foreword by Martha Mendoza
PLAY DUMB. BE BORING.
DON'T SOLVE PROBLEMS.
AND ABOVE ALL, DON'T BE YOURSELF. Not exactly what you'd expect to hear from a communication expert, but these counterintuitive strategies are precisely what we need to interact productively and meaningfully in today's digital world. Our overreliance on quick, cheap, and easy means of "staying connected" is eroding our communication skills. Speed steamrolls thoughtfulness; self-expression trumps restraint. Errors and misunderstandings increase. And our relationships suffer.
With startling insights and a dash of humor, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" combines scientific research with real-world strategies to deliver a proven approach to more effective communication.
""Only Geoffrey Tumlin could write a book about a serious problem--our mounting communication deficiencies--and make me laugh and learn all the way through it. Witty, smart, and 100 percent accurate, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" points the way to a better conversational future."" -- Tina Morris, managing director at Standard & Poor's
""An elegantly analytical, accessible, and enjoyable guide to improving interpersonal communication, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" is a key resource for anyone who wants to be a difference-making leader, manager, or team member."" -- Eduardo Sanchez, deputy chief medical officer of the American Heart Association
DON'T SOLVE PROBLEMS.
AND ABOVE ALL, DON'T BE YOURSELF. Not exactly what you'd expect to hear from a communication expert, but these counterintuitive strategies are precisely what we need to interact productively and meaningfully in today's digital world. Our overreliance on quick, cheap, and easy means of "staying connected" is eroding our communication skills. Speed steamrolls thoughtfulness; self-expression trumps restraint. Errors and misunderstandings increase. And our relationships suffer.
With startling insights and a dash of humor, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" combines scientific research with real-world strategies to deliver a proven approach to more effective communication.
""Only Geoffrey Tumlin could write a book about a serious problem--our mounting communication deficiencies--and make me laugh and learn all the way through it. Witty, smart, and 100 percent accurate, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" points the way to a better conversational future."" -- Tina Morris, managing director at Standard & Poor's
""An elegantly analytical, accessible, and enjoyable guide to improving interpersonal communication, "Stop Talking, Start Communicating" is a key resource for anyone who wants to be a difference-making leader, manager, or team member."" -- Eduardo Sanchez, deputy chief medical officer of the American Heart Association
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2013
31 people are currently reading
229 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 4, 2013
Social media such as Twitter, Facebook and email are here to stay and most of us make use of these services often each day. According to the author, these interactions are low-level communications. When we talk face-to-face and engage in in-depth conversation, negotiation, problem solving, and creative interactions that are deeply personal - these are high-level communications. While low-level communication has many advantages and is an essential part of our modern world, for Tumlin, low-level communication has the danger of undermining and distracting us from high-level communication when high-level communication is the most appropriate or necessary. How many times have you been trying to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who keeps looking at their mobile/cell phone? Or doing their email in a meeting when they need to be fully present? How many of us have been caught up in email misunderstandings, forgetting how limited that medium can be in understanding someone?
In this short book, the author offers a series of practical, and often surprising, strategies for managing communication in our modern society where fast and superficial communication is the norm. It's short, to the point, easy to read, well written - just what we need for our busy lifestyles! The challenge, of course, will be putting the strategies into practice. But if we want good, healthy, meaningful relationships then that is just what we need to do.
In this short book, the author offers a series of practical, and often surprising, strategies for managing communication in our modern society where fast and superficial communication is the norm. It's short, to the point, easy to read, well written - just what we need for our busy lifestyles! The challenge, of course, will be putting the strategies into practice. But if we want good, healthy, meaningful relationships then that is just what we need to do.
May 20, 2023
There are practical tips towards end of each chapter, however they tend to repeat the same ideas of other chapters. The other part of chapters tend to be dry and disconnected. The interesting part of this book will be teaching the opposites of what communication books usually do. One take away is we are judged by how we ask questions and not how we answer. That is really a good point to work on.
July 4, 2021
Ok, nothing earth shattering here unfortunately
January 29, 2022
He is a fantastic speaker.
October 23, 2013
I was introduced to the author by a mutual acquaintance, and he sent me an autographed paperback. However, that didn't influence my review; in fact, though I appreciated the book and was pleased to add it to my collection of autographed books, I purchased a copy of the ebook to read.
On the surface, it seems we have more ways of communicating than ever before. But Geoffrey Tumlin shows us that much of what passes for communication isn't real communication. We're often talking over each other in person, and how can we communicate meaningfully with online "friends" we don't know using the shorthand of technology?
You have probably seen a photo of a table full of people, each engaged with their smartphone or other technological device rather than having a conversation with the family members and friends sitting with them. Many people post more words on Facebook and Twitter than they speak to their loved ones each day. The author describes digital communication as i-based conversation rather than much more effective we-based conversation.
Even when people are seemingly carrying on a conversation in person, all too often there isn't any real communicating taking place. I am reminded of a "conversation" I observed my husband have with a friend near the end of his life. The two men were taking turns speaking, but they weren't talking about the same thing. The other gentleman was trying to tell my husband a story about something that happened to him. As soon as his friend paused in his story, my husband jumped in and said something totally unrelated. At the time, my husband had advanced dementia, so it was no surprise he couldn't carry on an intelligible conversation. Unfortunately, this scenario happens with people who don't have illness as an excuse but who simply have their own agenda. They want to have their say but don't want to listen to what the other person says.
The author gives excellent practical advice on how to start really communicating rather than just talking. Communication requires effective listening, speaking, and interacting. Though the examples in the book often include business situations, the advice applies to all kinds of communication--whether you are talking to your spouse and children, your boss, your subordinates, an important client, or the neighbor whose dog is tearing up your flowerbed.
If you want to reduce conflict, increase cooperation, and become more effective in communicating, this practical, easy-to-read, and enjoyable book will help.
On the surface, it seems we have more ways of communicating than ever before. But Geoffrey Tumlin shows us that much of what passes for communication isn't real communication. We're often talking over each other in person, and how can we communicate meaningfully with online "friends" we don't know using the shorthand of technology?
You have probably seen a photo of a table full of people, each engaged with their smartphone or other technological device rather than having a conversation with the family members and friends sitting with them. Many people post more words on Facebook and Twitter than they speak to their loved ones each day. The author describes digital communication as i-based conversation rather than much more effective we-based conversation.
Even when people are seemingly carrying on a conversation in person, all too often there isn't any real communicating taking place. I am reminded of a "conversation" I observed my husband have with a friend near the end of his life. The two men were taking turns speaking, but they weren't talking about the same thing. The other gentleman was trying to tell my husband a story about something that happened to him. As soon as his friend paused in his story, my husband jumped in and said something totally unrelated. At the time, my husband had advanced dementia, so it was no surprise he couldn't carry on an intelligible conversation. Unfortunately, this scenario happens with people who don't have illness as an excuse but who simply have their own agenda. They want to have their say but don't want to listen to what the other person says.
The author gives excellent practical advice on how to start really communicating rather than just talking. Communication requires effective listening, speaking, and interacting. Though the examples in the book often include business situations, the advice applies to all kinds of communication--whether you are talking to your spouse and children, your boss, your subordinates, an important client, or the neighbor whose dog is tearing up your flowerbed.
If you want to reduce conflict, increase cooperation, and become more effective in communicating, this practical, easy-to-read, and enjoyable book will help.
October 26, 2015
Read for an LPD with my Brigade Commander. Decent book. It had some great points, but I honestly thought most of it was pretty common sense. Can be beneficial for your professional, personal, and marital life. Professionally, I would recommend this for NCOs at the team, squad, and platoon level.
January 8, 2016
nice in its general message and wit its careful social criticism in times of over-communication esp. through electronic and social media. nice to reflect on certain patterns in and approaches to communication. however, for my non-american context sometimes to passive and schematic.
July 25, 2014
excellent book. very pragmatic and particularly pertinent in the current age of "oversharing" information. some concrete recommendations, too, not just generic principles.
September 28, 2014
How to (not) talk your way out of sticky situations. Useful for navigating a world of tricky landmines.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews