Signs of Life

by Anna Raverat

It started quietly and without her looking for it, but the aftershock was profound. Ten years ago, Rachel had an affair. It spiralled out of control and left her and her life in pieces. Now, writing at her window, she tries to put those pieces back together. She has her memories, recollections of dreams, and her old yellow notebook. More than anything, she wants to be honest. She knows that her memory is patchy and her notebook incomplete. But there is something else. Something terrible happened to her lover. Her account is hypnotic, delicate, disquieting and bold. But is she telling us the truth?

Genres: Contemporary, Fiction, Literary Fiction, Romance, British Literature

239 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2012

Reviews

[Frona · Rating 2 out of 5]

A relationship that one can have with a wooden fence is in many ways similar to the emotional landscape portrayed in this book. A breakup following an affair was described with as much sensitivity. On the surface, a wooden fence looks meaningful. It gives one a sense of security as it separates one's place from the rest of the world; it provides a sense of satisfaction when is colored nice and it can even help one's flowers to grow. It also resembles some of the possible dangers that a relationship can encounter. It breaks when one leans too harshly and it always has an open space or gates, so that one can exit without too many difficulties.

But relationships between people are normally more diverse; they aren't just there waiting for someone to attach whimsical meanings to them and they aren't the servants of a mere convenience. They need some action and reciprocity to happen, which is what this story didn’t acknowledge. Without convincing motives that could explain the decisions made by main characters, it didn’t come to life. Considering an abundance of works with similar themes, where the hardships of relationships are shown in all their glory (Kureishi's Intimacy, Ferantte's The Days of Abandonment etc.), I mistakenly believed that the protagonist's search of finding a purpose in a mess of her affairs will eventually bear some fruit, but every new page proved me wrong and has drawn me further away from discovering it with her.

I can't blame the components the author has used. Youth, childless attachment and unfounded obsessions are fragile enough to work with and there's a lot of effort needed to prove their significance. But it can be done (Shakespeare's done it!), so something else has to be responsible for this novel's lack of credibility and force. It was as if the author was convinced that twisting and turning the plot will bring on a complexity by itself. That didn't happen and even the promise of a final hook, that was all that held me on, turned out to be as superficial as the rest of the book.

[Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beginning this book, there is something you should know. This is not a confession. This is something I am writing; something I am making out of something that happened. Ten years ago I had an affair that ended badly... With these irresistible lines begins the troubled, fragmented, and unreliable account of Rachel, the narrator of this melancholy and brilliant little book. Her story is a series of memories charting her emotional history, primarily focused around the affair she had with an unstable colleague, Carl, while (and after) she was in a serious relationship with Johnny, a calm, gentle man she met in her teens. But what really happened, why has Rachel ended up living alone in a high-rise flat where she writes and watches the workmen in the building opposite, and why does she feel compelled to write this 'non-confession'?

I don't always like writing reviews of books I adored. Really, all I want to do is spew out a stream of incoherent babble, culminating in 'this is AMAZIIIIING, read it NOW' - I think the best qualities of great books are sometimes indefinable, or at least very subtle, and it's easier to be coherent about something that has glaring flaws. This is, quite simply, a beautifully written book with a fascinating narrator and an original, inventive structure. Rachel's recollections skip back and forth through time, moving through her relationship with Johnny, the affair with Carl and her present-day situation in an apparently random fashion. The narrative is written as one might really recount one's past - it seems like Rachel is writing down memories as they come back to her, but as the story progresses, a pattern of hidden secrets and uncertain details emerges. Rachel even admits that she is embellishing her tale at points, and although there are few surprises due to the non-linear nature of the book, there are choice moments when shocking revelations are delivered in a calm, cool tone. The book is rich with sumptuous, poetic prose and striking imagery, while remaining totally believable as a personal account.

I should qualify my review with a warning that I don't think other readers will necessarily love Signs of Life as much as I did. There's a bleak undercurrent to everything that happens, illustrated most obviously in the time Rachel spends with Carl, but subtly pervading the rest of the story too. I took to Rachel straight away because she seems so human - flawed, uncertain, full of guilt, more vulnerable than she realises but sometimes selfish and devious too - but I doubt everyone will have the same reaction to her. The book has been much compared to Zoe Heller's Notes on a Scandal, and I can certainly see the similarities, though I wouldn't say Rachel is anywhere near as calculating as Barbara Covett - she is sucked into events surrounding her rather than having a hand in controlling their outcome. I've found it very interesting to read through other reviews of Signs of Life and see that so many people found Rachel unlikeable. Did I feel differently because I saw something of myself in the character (as was the case with Barbara in Notes on a Scandal) - or is it simply the fact that she's a woman who is unfaithful, something that so many find so repulsive, that has turned other readers off?

I thought this book was absolutely brilliant, sublime, near-perfect. It's quite short and could be read in one sitting, but I preferred to work my way through it bit by bit, savouring the gradual uncovering of the truth. I found both style and content so delicious that it was much more satisfying to read a chapter at a time than to power through it. It's a shame that this is a debut, because I'm desperate to read more of Raverat's work... But on the other hand, this just gives me something to really look forward to when she publishes her next book. Please let it be soon.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Signs of Life by Anna Raverat is one of Waterstones' 11 for 2012, their list of highly recommended debut novels. Last year's picks included The Tiger's Wife (Orange Prizewinner) and Pigeon English (Man Booker shortlist) so does this bode well for Ms Raverat's first novel?

Well, I loved Signs of Life and I think it must be acknowledged that it is an extremely brave debut novel given that its narrator, Rachel, is extremely unlikeable. It's not that she's been involved in war crimes or cruelty to animals, quite the opposite as she "appears" to be a bit of a flake, self-obsessed, drifting along and letting others carry the can while she continues sitting at her desk navel-gazing. Not sounding awfully exciting so far...

What I did find fascinating though was the way in which Rachel gradually releases her history to us, strand by strand and what a tangled web she weaves. Ten years ago she had an affair with disastrous consequences and we won't get to the crux of the whole "affair" until she has sorted through all the other events in a stream of consciousness style, flitting from past to present, from mundane to deathly serious.

She controls what the reader knows whilst claiming to have been used as a pawn and throughout the novel I found her quite unnerving on a par with Barbara from Notes on a Scandal, another obnoxious yet fascinating character. She wants to be honest but she frequently alludes to the fact that honesty and truth are impossible to achieve.

If you are enthralled by unlikeable, unreliable narrators and you don't mind being manipulated and dangled on a string, then you will be captivated by this tense, edgy novel - an excellent debut.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this from the minute I opened the book! An amazing début and one that will stay with me for a long time.

A mish mash of past and present roll voluptuously entwined within each chapter, engaging the senses and throwing quotes by authors and poets to underline the melancholy. Written as a confused yet illuminating thought process into a series of events that led to Rachel's despair. As the reader, I felt that I identified with various aspects of her personality in a self aggrandizing yet sorrowful way.

Truly a magnificent, well thought out novel of Love and Loss in the worst and best of all of us!

[Biogeek · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book that never really took off. Raverat explores the anatomy of a fairly mundane affair, hoping that the gimmick of having the narrator piece together the scraps of information in no particular order would make it consistently interesting. The slow reveal method ends up focusing more on the slow, than the reveal. In the midst of memories of dreams, bits from other books, and the mixed-up chronology, this novel lost its way for me.

[MargaretDH · Rating 4 out of 5]

My boss and I have a list of words we like to be pedantic about. For example, "intentional" when used in a business context, when people really mean thoughtful or strategic - if you're not being intentional about something you're doing at work, what's the alternative? Being haphazard? Careless? Intentional seems like the lowest bar to set for yourself! Also "passionate" when used as in "I'm passionate about program evaluation." "I'm passionate about crossword puzzles." Really? You have a strong and barely controllable emotion about crossword puzzles??

But this book is actually about passion. And obsession, and the way your memory holds up pieces and flashes of the past.

Rachel tells us right away, "This is not a confession." Instead, she slowly, and in pieces between vignettes of her currently life, tells us about the affair she had with an unstable work colleague, and the dissolution of her relationship with Johnny, a good guy she's been dating since high school. Slowly the story builds to a terrible end, and we begin to understand why Rachel has holed up in a new apartment, not speaking to anyone and watching the builders across the street as her only human contact.

I really liked the style of this. We get flashes from the past in a few paragraphs, or even lines, and then a few lines about her current life, and then back to the past again. It's very intimate, rather dreamy, and bleakly vulnerable. And that intimacy makes Rachel relatable. She and the reader know that she's making bad decisions, and she can be selfish and deceitful. But she is so honest, and makes no excuses for her behaviour, that you can't help but respond to her vulnerability. There is passion here - strong, barely controlled emotion - and it unravels the lives of at least three people.

Anyway, I thought this was beautifully written, a deep exploration of character, and a realistic depiction of the way memories can come in disjointed flashes that you can't escape.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was just ok. It was supposed to be a thriller, but it wasn't very thrilling. It was sort of boring, but it wasn't horrible..

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given the proof of this sometime ago, and kept putting off reading it in preference of other books. Now it's actually been released I thought I really should get on and read it, and I wish I had done so earlier. This is one of Waterstones' top books for 2012 and it is clear why. The story is engrossing and simply told. Dipping in and out of the past, focusing on the affair that Rachel had ten years ago. We gradually learn that this affair had profound consequences beyond the expected end of her relationship. As Rachel says the book is not a confession, but it is a listing of reasons, excuses and explanations. A must read....

[Sally Boocock · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disjointed and boring.

[Donna Brown]

What can I say about Rachel? Well, I don’t understand her, that’s for damn sure but that’s no surprise because you pretty quickly gather from the book that she doesn’t seem to even ‘get’ herself. Despite a comfortable life with a solid relationship, she’s unsettled and that leads to an affair with Carl, a workmate. Unfortunately, this leads to the unravelling of life around her as a bit of fun turns into passion, turns into drama, turns into disaster.

I’ve heard people say that you need to have a likeable character for a book to work. I guess it’s true that it’s easier to become immersed in a story if you like the character – or at least have empathy for them – but to me this book is a prime example that you can find a character thoroughly distasteful and still appreciate the book.

So why do I dislike Rachel so much? Her affair? Her lack of responsible thinking about work or her colleagues or her life in general? Not so much any of that really. We all make mistakes in life. I think it’s her apathy about life and, in particular, her apathy about the feelings of others. She just seems to drift , a stream of catastrophe and hurt in her wake, and not really understand the devastation around her. However, there is character development within the novel and the hope that she will perhaps begin to understand the importance of others’ feelings and reining in one’s own actions. But at what price has it come?

Signs of Life is a really good read. You know there are bad things coming and continually want to shake Rachel out of her stupor and get her to address her life. Instead, you follow along for the ride with an increasingly sinking feeling. It’s very well told at a steady pace and certainly a solid four star read.

I received a copy of the book in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own and I did not receive any additional compensation. Review originally posted at Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dave.

[Saidz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do not waste your time.

[Virginia Mametz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of boring.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful,
Absolutely awful.
Took me about 6 months to plod through it. Absolutely boring and pointless start to finish.

[Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder · Rating 4 out of 5]

The set-ups from both the cover quote: "Beginning this book, there is something you should know. This is not a confession." and the last sentence of the back cover synopsis: "But is she telling us the truth?" seem to challenge the reader to unravel a hidden secret of the supposed non-confession. That marketing (which is not necessarily the author's decision) makes this seem that it might be more of a mystery than the more reserved hindsight fictional memoir that it really is.

Rachel's story is based on her admittedly faulty memory and her own notebook of her relationships with two men from ten years ago. You are gradually told that both relationships ended badly and with tragic consequences although the full truth isn't revealed until near the end. The text frequently jump-cuts between flashbacks to the earlier time and to her own current situation where she is writing the memoir in an apartment while constantly viewing the renovation workers in an opposite building. As you might guess, the renovation work is a metaphor for the memory reconstruction that Rachel is undertaking with her own story.

This setup, especially the excellent first sentences quote, and the intriguing construction and presentation of the story are the main reasons for my high rating. As a mystery though it doesn't quite deliver any major twists or shocks. If there was something hidden in the "non-confession" then I was not clever enough to spot it. But as I said, that was the publisher's marketing that led me to expect some sort of hidden secret. As for the unreliable narrator aspect, Rachel herself comes clean partway through the book and admits that she has embellished certain details of clothing worn and persons and events. That is then hardly a secret.

I picked up this 2012 book due to reading about it as an "Underappreciated Book" in Blair Rose's Learn This Phrase book blog at https://tinyletter.com/learnthisphrase. I've found Rose to be a very reliable and entertaining reviewer since discovering her through a review of Stephanie Danler's Sweetbitter.

[Sarahc Caflisch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for Mercury Retrograde

(also, this is the "IT" cover for the 2010s, see "The Unseen World" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016E0RP52/...) (p.s.s. also: review might be padded due to the trouble I had to go through to get the book. I don't think any U.S. publisher acquired rights, so had to have it shipped. Also, for those very patriotic US readers who demand "organization" to be spelt that way and not "organisation" and are easily confused by words like "lift" and "stone" and "flat" this version is not for you. Nor, maybe, is any book).

[sisterimapoet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the flawed nature of her narration, and the way she examined herself, others as well as the events that unfolded. But I struggled to like her, or anyone else in the novel for that matter. Perhaps I was meant to – but it makes for awkward reading, to spend much time in the company of characters you don't get on with. Perhaps it was the subject matter I didn't get on with – and I notice that Raverat's only other novel also deals with infidelity – so perhaps her and I are destined to part ways after this, our first encounter!

[Deborah Allin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A skilful exploration of issues of intimacy and betrayal, Signs of Life is Anna Raverat's first novel. The story of Anna's affair is told in retrospect as she struggles to make sense of its devastating conclusion. Its beautifully written and I most enjoyed the final chapters which explore the issues of love and fear and show how irrevocably certain actions can lead to both the ultimate destruction and transformation of a person's life. Powerful. Will stay with you long after its finished.

[Karla Brading · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5, but goodreads won't allow half stars. But a half star can make all the difference! Not a style I'm accustomed to, as it does jump around a lot and can be quite plaintive and ominous in places. There is plenty of tension, however, to string you along and more than a few 'ah yes!' observations. Different.

[Mobashar Ahmed · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not a confession. This is not a good song. And it is not an adorable scene in a movie but, rather, it is a bad song and a despicable scene – the villain’s depiction of selfish maneuver – we all hate. It will give you a mini epiphany of your destructive self. And it has too many holes in it.

It was a good read anyways

[Pauline Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not so much the plot or characters that I loved about this book because I don’t think any of them are lovable. But the way it’s crafted with the snippets of poems woven in, and the considerations of memory, truth, lies, fabrication, precision, all of these conveyed with poeticism in the author’s turn of phrase, really spoke to me and made this a compelling read for me.

[Becky. ♡ · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 - I don’t like giving bad reviews but this book just seemed so pointless. The first chapter seemed interesting but after that it just went downhill for me. I found most of the book quite disjointed to read and just quite boring in general.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life, it will change lives. The alternating timelines, the rawness of the text without being raw, it is hollow to show you the insides without lacking depth or richness.
It is no exaggeration to suggest that Raverat tells us what love is without romanticising a second of it.

[Theodora Wakeley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Between 3 and 4 stars. Some enlightening passages about love, the passing of time and memory but the overall story was a bit meh and the narrator didn't convince me. Also has a really predictable cat death (narrative cliche)

[Nuyuryna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is like reading someone's diary
The plot and timeline is a bit tricky but that makes the story interesting

[Tandy Davies · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written with poetic passages which are a real treat. However it would certainly put you off ever involving yourself with an extra marital relationship!

[Eleanor · Rating 5 out of 5]

The premise: A young woman has an affair with a man in her office; her relationship ends badly; her affair ends badly; as she recounts this eventful history, is she telling us the truth?

How I’d (cynically) sell it: Glass and God as prose fiction.

The good bits: I can’t get enough of writing like this: material about destructive relationships, relayed in prose like a recently cleaned window (and, also, like a broken bottle).

The bad bits: I didn’t dislike any of it. You’ll either love this sort of thing or you’ll hate it.

Verdict: Five stars (bought with my own money, now on the shelf of Books To Save From Fire).

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ten years ago, Rachel had an intense love affair with a work colleague and it did not end well. Ever since then she has been trying various ways to help her move on with her life - alcohol, medication, distancing herself from friends and situations that might bring the memories flooding back to her. When she finally feels ready to face up to what happened back then it proves difficult because the passing of a decade and the consumption of various mind-altering substances have blurred her memories. Fortunately she has her notebooks to help her piece together a mental jigsaw, hastily scribbled diary entries and song lyrics that capture brief snapshots of her thoughts back then. But can we rely on Rachel to fill in the blanks accurately? As the blurb asks: "is she telling us the truth?".

And I guess this question is key to your enjoyment of the novel - for this story to have maximum impact you need to see the protagonist as a liar or at the very least an intentionally unreliable narrator. I just didn't get that impression of her. Sure, there are blanks in her narrative and details that are mentioned early on and then described in a different light later in the book. But Rachel herself admits that she doesn't remember things clearly and can't be sure that events had transpired exactly as she recalls. In that sense I found her quite honest and actually felt sympathetic towards her. Embarking on the affair in the first place - particularly with an unhinged brute like Carl - was clearly a very foolish and selfish decision, but it's a human mistake that lots of people make. And after the affair was established, I didn't think it was overwhelmingly Rachel's actions that led to a bad outcome. It's interesting, from other reviews I've read of Signs Of Life it seems a lot of readers dislike Rachel very strongly and think she's a self-centred and manipulative person. I guess if you share this viewpoint then you would probably find the eventual conclusion much more powerful.

My impression of the protagonist aside, I thought this was a well-written novel that was constructed very cleverly. The non-linear narrative was disorientating at first and almost feels like a stream of consciousness as thoughts and memories occur to Rachel at random. Nevertheless, it really works well as a way to build suspense throughout and shrouds events in a hazy fog of confusion. I liked how it allowed Raverat to clearly illustrate the contrast between the rosy early days of the relationship with the situation later on when things had turned sour, and similarly the contrast between the characters of the two men in Rachel's life.

One thing I love about books is the scope they offer for individual interpretation and how all readers see things slightly differently. I enjoyed this book but found it didn't have as much impact on me as others have experienced. I'll definitely be looking out for more by Anna Raverat, though.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

'There is what I remember, what I know, what I think, and what I imagine.'

I was anticipating something special when this novel arrived, as it has been chosen as one of the Waterstones 11 picks of debut novels for 2012, and the ones I have already read from that list have been very good reads.

This novel is narrated by main character Rachel throughout, stuck in her lonely room, staring out of the window and watching the builders working on the site across the way from her. I inferred from what we learn of her that she may even not really go out much anymore. She is attempting to write about an affair ten years ago, the memories of which evidently affect her very deeply even now. Whilst in a long-term relationship with her partner Johnny, she embarks on an affair with work colleague Carl, who has made quite plain his attraction to her. We learn that the affair came to a tragic end, but we don't know how, or what exactly happened, until we have read the whole book. The narrative style is short, sometimes very short, chapters, with paragraphs that skip about in time; at one moment Rachel is telling us about something that happened at the start of the affair, and then immediately she jumps to writing about something that happened after the affair. This non-chronological approach is very unsettling for the reader, and gives the whole novel a disjointed feel.

Rachel pours her thoughts and feelings out, and they scatter onto the page in a disordered fashion, and this gives us an insight into her mixed-up thinking; jumping backwards, forwards, backwards again in time. She readily admits that what she remembers may not all be true, or may not be quite what happened. She looks to the notebook that she has from the time of the affair, and thinks back to her dreams. But the notebook is not a full record, and she can't be certain about what she remembers of her dreams. What should we believe? What is true, and what is incorrectly recalled? At one stage, Rachel tells us that she is 'not telling us the story so much as finding it, making it.' This all makes for an uneasy, unsettling experience for the reader; when our narrator no longer knows what is genuine, where does it leave us?

I found this an interesting read; it's brave of the author to present us with such an unreliable, not particularly likeable narrator throughout, and clever to present all of the recollections in such a fragmented way. It keeps the reader interested and keeps you guessing as to the truth, the lies, and the outcome. I certainly was intrigued enough to want to finish the story. It reminded me a little in terms of the style and narrator of the Deborah Kay Davies novel 'True Things About Me'. For me, it was an interesting book, perhaps not a favourite, but I'm glad to have read it.

[Jood · Rating 1 out of 5]

As Rachel sits by her window she dwells on a very short-lived affair she had with Carl, some ten years previously. At the time of this affair she had been living with Johnny for six years. What amazes me is that Rachel doesn't even seem to like Carl, so why the relationship progressed beyond that of work colleagues puzzles me. She feels guilty for cheating on Johnny and sad when he leaves, but she doesn't stop the affair; all in all she is a very selfish, unsympathetic character, and I for one was hoping she would meet her comeuppance. There is something of a teaser in that we're told Something Awful happened to Carl, and Rachel was hospitalised for a while; this is all revealed almost at the end, but in the meantime we have Rachel's endless chaotic meanderings.

The constant flipping back and forth in time.....several times within the same chapter, most of which are quite short, makes for very jumbled reading, and had my head in a spin. I was exasperated at Rachel's retelling of dreams and her frequent quotes from other writers, none of which seemed relevant or added anything to the story. I also found on page 22 a couple of lines lifted, (almost but not quite word for word), from a song, albeit little known; it was instantly recognisable to me as "Private Road" by Bent: ".......a private road: no speeding, no collisions, no thoroughfare, no heavy load" As soon as I read this, I heard the song. This is not smart writing, even if it has been changed slightly. And what was Chapter 13 all about? It's all of two paragraphs long...or short!

There is no flow or cohesion to this book; it has to be the most chaotic, confused muddle I've read in a long time, and it certainly would not encourage me to read anything Ms Raverat writes in the future.

Signs of Life? I don't think so....

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anna Raverat is a descendant of Gwendolen Raverat, a celebrated English artist and member of the Bloomsbury Group. Signs of Life is Anna's debut novel and has been chosen as a Waterstone's 11; their pick of the best debuts of 2012.
Signs of Life is a dark, but compelling story of an out-of-control love affair that happened ten years ago. Rachel writes her story as she sits in the window of her new flat, now alone, her memories and her writing are fragmented and patchy. It is a very clever and talented author who can create such an obnoxious character, yet also create a feeling of compassion towards her from the reader. Not since Zoe Heller's Notes On A Scandal have I disliked a narrator so much, but just like that novel, Signs of Life draws the reader in. From the beginning of Rachel's story it is made clear that her love affair was doomed, as she recalls the events that have clearly shaped the rest of her life the reader gets a feeling of impending disaster, it is clear that Rachel's lover Carl was both damaged and damaging, it is also clear that although Rachel knows that she often acted selfishly and dishonestly, she is trying to justify all of her actions.
Rachel feels that to write down her memories, will be to cure herself, but even so there are times during the telling of her story when she struggles to relate the whole truth and in fact realises that the affair will always be a part of her history, no matter how she re-tells it, or how she may justify it.
This really is a remarkable debut, with imagery that is at times quite startling. The writing is both seductive and tense with an edge that is quite unique.