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So Much More: the Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of
This book is not another Christian-teenage-girl ''survival guide.'' So Much More shows how Christian girls can wage war with the world and win. The Botkin sisters focus on how young women can rise above their God-hating culture and change it for the better. Today, countless young ladies face difficult problems and challenging questions. While many long for godly purpose in their lives, their bewilderment mounts when they observe broken homes, distant fathers, overwhelmed mothers, degrading college courses, and a lack of spiritual guidance --” both at home and at church. As hope for security and stability fades, it is no wonder that many young ladies feel orphaned, unprotected, and without hope for their futures. Within the pages of this book, discover practical, biblical solutions for the young woman who wants to do so much more than just ''survive'' in a savagely feministic, anti-Christian culture. Find the answers a girl is not likely to get from her church, her peers, or her culture.
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First published October 17, 2005
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April 3, 2026
This is going to be controversial...I don't really know why I'm doing this, other than I slowly want to write reviews for all the books I've read, soooo... :) Oooookay, here I go.
I first read So Much More about nine years ago, and it became my Bible. I ate, drank, slept, walked, talked, and breathed it. I patterned my life after the rules set in the books, I squashed all ideas of anything in my life other than "serving my father" and quoted the Botkin sisters as if they were Jesus.
Now, nine years (and way too much life experience) later, I am still dealing with the deep repercussions of the ideas in this book, still struggling with scars, handicaps, and triggers that this book inflicted on my mindset and view of life. I would not put this in the hands of any Christian teenager (or any Christian period), which is why I got rid of my copy before my teenage sisters could get a hold of it. :) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the Botkins had the best of intentions in writing this and I would never want to doubt their personal integrity, but the amount of legalism, shaming, dehumanizing, and blanket-condemning in their book is shocking. Yet so many well meaning Christians swallow their ideas whole, all in the name of "Biblical womanhood". The ideas presented in this book are not biblical womanhood.
I am all for daughters have close relationships with their fathers. But I have seen and know too well how positions of power can be abused when men are puffed up by the idea of superiority that the Botkins inadvertently teach. Total, unquestionable power is not good or healthy for anyone, including fathers, and I've seen firsthand the results of fathers who exercise complete authority over their adult daughters. I know how crippling it can be when they are rudely thrust into the "real life" that they were never prepared for, or are left in a childlike dependence on men for the rest of their life. This is not Biblical, this is a throwback to the 19th century, where men could do whatever they wanted, live immoral lifestyles unquestioned and untarnished, and yet women were degraded and treated as less worthy than their male counterparts. These girls are not taught basic issues like consent and the power to say no if needed, which leads to abuse and scandal (as has been seen recently) because they are taught that they can never disobey authority.
There is an element of radical feminism that pushes for female superiority and the eradication of men, but they are only a part of feminism (just as there are extremists in any group). Yet the Botkins paint them all with the broad brush of "Marxism", which instantly condemns and demeans all feminists to a faceless "it" instead of individuals, many of whom are passionate about basic equality, not superiority. The complete lack of research in the book leads one to ask where they got their information and why it is all one-sided.
Daughters are not to be "second help meets" for their fathers. If a girl chooses to forgo higher education or pursuing a career, that is her choice and she is welcome to it. However, she should not be seen as "free labor" or as a wife-without-benefits, either. There are psychological studies that confirm how damaging this is to girls, even so far as to label it "emotional incest". Again, I am not against a healthy father-daughter relationship. But being a second wife is not healthy. Your father's dreams, goals, and needs are not your responsibility as a daughter.
While I no longer consider myself to be a proponent of the courtship/modesty/purity culture pushed by the Botkins and many in the homeschool circles, I respect those who choose to have "intentional relationships" or seek advice from authority figures in their life. That being said, the stringent, chaperoned, supervised arrangements set up by the authoritarian father figures that is applauded in this book and practiced by many very well known homeschool celebrities goes beyond the bounds of responsible relationships. Relationships go from the messy, beautiful, unpredictable gray areas that they are and become stringent, void of true emotion, and black and white. While they may work, they often leave the couples with handicaps and hangups that they have to work through after marriage. Girls are shamed into believing that natural emotions are evil, which only hinders them later on down the road in marriage and alters the way they view themselves.
Fear-mongering is not the way to instruct people. Demeaning groups of people and exalting your way as "the only way" is not the way to instruct people. And imposing unhealthy standards that are not Biblical and shame young women is not the way to instruct people. For this reason I no longer approve or recommend this book. It had an incredibly negative impact on my life, and if I could do anything, I would want to save young, impressionable women like my sisters from suffering from the same guilt and shame that I carried most of my life. Don't read this book. Life and the opportunities God has planned for you in it are "so much more" than this book would have you believe.
EDIT 04/26 - I wrote this original review in 2014, and I’ve been on quite a ride since then. I’m honestly really proud of myself for this review, as it was one of the first times I spoke out about how I didn’t believe in any of this any more. Over twenty years since I first read this book, I can see much clearer now how deeply toxic and flat out evil the principles in this book are in a way I was just beginning to realize in 2014, and the way we have seen the immense damage this ideology has caused in the time since.
I first read So Much More about nine years ago, and it became my Bible. I ate, drank, slept, walked, talked, and breathed it. I patterned my life after the rules set in the books, I squashed all ideas of anything in my life other than "serving my father" and quoted the Botkin sisters as if they were Jesus.
Now, nine years (and way too much life experience) later, I am still dealing with the deep repercussions of the ideas in this book, still struggling with scars, handicaps, and triggers that this book inflicted on my mindset and view of life. I would not put this in the hands of any Christian teenager (or any Christian period), which is why I got rid of my copy before my teenage sisters could get a hold of it. :) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the Botkins had the best of intentions in writing this and I would never want to doubt their personal integrity, but the amount of legalism, shaming, dehumanizing, and blanket-condemning in their book is shocking. Yet so many well meaning Christians swallow their ideas whole, all in the name of "Biblical womanhood". The ideas presented in this book are not biblical womanhood.
I am all for daughters have close relationships with their fathers. But I have seen and know too well how positions of power can be abused when men are puffed up by the idea of superiority that the Botkins inadvertently teach. Total, unquestionable power is not good or healthy for anyone, including fathers, and I've seen firsthand the results of fathers who exercise complete authority over their adult daughters. I know how crippling it can be when they are rudely thrust into the "real life" that they were never prepared for, or are left in a childlike dependence on men for the rest of their life. This is not Biblical, this is a throwback to the 19th century, where men could do whatever they wanted, live immoral lifestyles unquestioned and untarnished, and yet women were degraded and treated as less worthy than their male counterparts. These girls are not taught basic issues like consent and the power to say no if needed, which leads to abuse and scandal (as has been seen recently) because they are taught that they can never disobey authority.
There is an element of radical feminism that pushes for female superiority and the eradication of men, but they are only a part of feminism (just as there are extremists in any group). Yet the Botkins paint them all with the broad brush of "Marxism", which instantly condemns and demeans all feminists to a faceless "it" instead of individuals, many of whom are passionate about basic equality, not superiority. The complete lack of research in the book leads one to ask where they got their information and why it is all one-sided.
Daughters are not to be "second help meets" for their fathers. If a girl chooses to forgo higher education or pursuing a career, that is her choice and she is welcome to it. However, she should not be seen as "free labor" or as a wife-without-benefits, either. There are psychological studies that confirm how damaging this is to girls, even so far as to label it "emotional incest". Again, I am not against a healthy father-daughter relationship. But being a second wife is not healthy. Your father's dreams, goals, and needs are not your responsibility as a daughter.
While I no longer consider myself to be a proponent of the courtship/modesty/purity culture pushed by the Botkins and many in the homeschool circles, I respect those who choose to have "intentional relationships" or seek advice from authority figures in their life. That being said, the stringent, chaperoned, supervised arrangements set up by the authoritarian father figures that is applauded in this book and practiced by many very well known homeschool celebrities goes beyond the bounds of responsible relationships. Relationships go from the messy, beautiful, unpredictable gray areas that they are and become stringent, void of true emotion, and black and white. While they may work, they often leave the couples with handicaps and hangups that they have to work through after marriage. Girls are shamed into believing that natural emotions are evil, which only hinders them later on down the road in marriage and alters the way they view themselves.
Fear-mongering is not the way to instruct people. Demeaning groups of people and exalting your way as "the only way" is not the way to instruct people. And imposing unhealthy standards that are not Biblical and shame young women is not the way to instruct people. For this reason I no longer approve or recommend this book. It had an incredibly negative impact on my life, and if I could do anything, I would want to save young, impressionable women like my sisters from suffering from the same guilt and shame that I carried most of my life. Don't read this book. Life and the opportunities God has planned for you in it are "so much more" than this book would have you believe.
EDIT 04/26 - I wrote this original review in 2014, and I’ve been on quite a ride since then. I’m honestly really proud of myself for this review, as it was one of the first times I spoke out about how I didn’t believe in any of this any more. Over twenty years since I first read this book, I can see much clearer now how deeply toxic and flat out evil the principles in this book are in a way I was just beginning to realize in 2014, and the way we have seen the immense damage this ideology has caused in the time since.
April 27, 2022
This book is laced with binding legalism that just simply does not exist in the bible. The scripture used is out of context and stretched to the extreme to fit man's legalistic views of womanhood confining her abilities to those that do not and can not extend past the home front. Simply put - - - if you want to limit God in the life of your daughter read and apply this book. If you want to release the power of God in your daughter and teach her to embrace ALL of her identity in Christ choose another book. I am a stay at home mom - this is not the life that all women have been called to: Esther was a powerful queen, Deborah a mighty military leader, Anna a servant in the temple, Lydia a business owner, and there are many more that were more than mothers confined to home. Though I believe as a mother my first and foremost ministry is that of my children I know I have been called to much more. I did not complete college only because God called me to a different life, not because of a legalistic view that this would somehow corrupt me as a Godly women.
Carefully look at this book and prayerfully line it up with the Living Scriptures of a MIGHTY CAN DO ANYTHING God!
EDITED TO ADD:
At the age of 43, 12 years after the original posting of this review I would like to add this. I have now served in ministry along side my husband for 25 years. I completed a Double Major with a Minor in Biblical Studies at the age of 40 while homeschooling children. I still am homeschooling and raising kids - I now have ten children with an age range of 21 years old down to 9 months old.
My original thoughts on this book still stand. Womanhood, Biblical Womanhood is multifaceted and "so Much More" than what this book allows woman to be. Though being a stay at home mom is my calling it is not the calling God has placed on every woman. One ministry facet that I serve in, that God has called me to, is the encouragement and an empowerment of women; teaching Godly characteristics and seeing the fruit of such. I am called to Titus 2 minsitries to women of all ages and demographics. This means I meet them where they are in life, and encourage them in what God has called them to and gifted them in. I enjoy public speaking and teaching in small or large group settings. So Much More - it such a wonderful sentiment - because we are so much more than what we are being told by this world. ;-) Just thought I would update this to add a little more insight.
Carefully look at this book and prayerfully line it up with the Living Scriptures of a MIGHTY CAN DO ANYTHING God!
EDITED TO ADD:
At the age of 43, 12 years after the original posting of this review I would like to add this. I have now served in ministry along side my husband for 25 years. I completed a Double Major with a Minor in Biblical Studies at the age of 40 while homeschooling children. I still am homeschooling and raising kids - I now have ten children with an age range of 21 years old down to 9 months old.
My original thoughts on this book still stand. Womanhood, Biblical Womanhood is multifaceted and "so Much More" than what this book allows woman to be. Though being a stay at home mom is my calling it is not the calling God has placed on every woman. One ministry facet that I serve in, that God has called me to, is the encouragement and an empowerment of women; teaching Godly characteristics and seeing the fruit of such. I am called to Titus 2 minsitries to women of all ages and demographics. This means I meet them where they are in life, and encourage them in what God has called them to and gifted them in. I enjoy public speaking and teaching in small or large group settings. So Much More - it such a wonderful sentiment - because we are so much more than what we are being told by this world. ;-) Just thought I would update this to add a little more insight.
January 14, 2015
I just finished So Much More: The Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of God and I have to say I was very unimpressed. Actually I was more than unimpressed. I think the book is pretty bad.
I recognize that Godly womanhood is under fire in today’s world, but I kind of think Godliness has always been under fire. It’s tough to be a believer. In John 15 Jesus says “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” As believers, we shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus’s prediction is true. So, yes, being Godly will put you in a position of opposition to the world.
So, I appreciate the fact that these girls are questioning things the world takes for granted: “Everyone needs to go to college,” “Independent is the way to be!” “Birth control for at least the first year of marriage,” “Of course women should have their own careers.” All of these things the world, and to a certain extent the church just swallows as truths without much examination. But I feel like the girls made their arguments very poorly.
First, a caveat, when I say girls I really mean it. At the time this book was written they were 17 and 19. I think they are thoughtful young women with good hearts and I think they were very zealous for Godly femininity. I just think a few more years would have given them some perspective. I guess I’m more surprised that there were adults in their lives that let them write this sort of thing and put a stamp of approval on it.
I think my first clue to the fact that there would be theological problems was when the young authors said, “Many of the answers and solutions we…have found will seem incredibly extreme and drastic. We believe that in a day of extreme apostasy and judgment, extreme measures are exactly what are called for, and that a drastic step in the opposite direction is exactly what we need to take.” First of all, this assumes our struggles are far and away harder than the struggles of any other Christian civilization throughout history. Not true! Also, I’m going to need some biblical proof that the answer to a problem is to take a “drastic step in the opposite direction.” I think there are plenty of directives God gives us as to how to live a wise Christian life and if we just followed them (which is hard enough) we’ll be fine. I don’t think we need to go beyond what God has told us to do.
Anyway, the rest of the book is basically rules for living in a way that shows direct opposition to the world. 1. Women must submit to the headship of fathers or husbands; 2. Women should never go to college because every woman who goes to college loses her faith or exits an embittered feminist; 3. It’s best women never work. Ever. But if you must be a “wage slave” work under another Christian woman because male bosses are just RIPE for sexual encounters with their employees; 4. Women must never enter the mission field, unless accompanied by their husbands; 5. Women should never be in leadership positions, not just in the church, which is as far as the bible goes, but in any leadership position ever.
Ok, outside of the first rule, obviously there is plenty to make fun of. Like I said, I love when Christians challenge the world’s thinking, but I think where the bible is silent we should be too. The much touted Proverbs 31 woman works publicly and at home. Priscilla and Aquila BOTH were tent makers. God just doesn’t say whether women should or should not work outside the home. The girls did somewhat hesitatingly admit that going to college, getting a job, etc wasn’t actually a sin, but then they proceeded to heap guilt on you about it.
Anyway, I guess reading the book made me think I was reading a book written by a conspiracy theorist. They had all these examples of women whose lives fell apart in college or who finally found fulfillment in working at home after trying to find in everywhere else. I don’t deny the truth of those stories. I just have a feeling the Botkin sisters would deny my story or the stories of other women I know who have been through college and/or jobs and made it through with our faith still intact and our lives pretty joyful. They’d probably just say that I was well-intentioned and thought I had it together but I didn’t really. You just can’t argue with someone like that.
I would like to know how they would respond when I tell them that due to my college degree I am a better helpmeet to my husband. He actually said it would have been very tough to marry someone who hadn't gone through college. So...hah!
I recognize that Godly womanhood is under fire in today’s world, but I kind of think Godliness has always been under fire. It’s tough to be a believer. In John 15 Jesus says “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” As believers, we shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus’s prediction is true. So, yes, being Godly will put you in a position of opposition to the world.
So, I appreciate the fact that these girls are questioning things the world takes for granted: “Everyone needs to go to college,” “Independent is the way to be!” “Birth control for at least the first year of marriage,” “Of course women should have their own careers.” All of these things the world, and to a certain extent the church just swallows as truths without much examination. But I feel like the girls made their arguments very poorly.
First, a caveat, when I say girls I really mean it. At the time this book was written they were 17 and 19. I think they are thoughtful young women with good hearts and I think they were very zealous for Godly femininity. I just think a few more years would have given them some perspective. I guess I’m more surprised that there were adults in their lives that let them write this sort of thing and put a stamp of approval on it.
I think my first clue to the fact that there would be theological problems was when the young authors said, “Many of the answers and solutions we…have found will seem incredibly extreme and drastic. We believe that in a day of extreme apostasy and judgment, extreme measures are exactly what are called for, and that a drastic step in the opposite direction is exactly what we need to take.” First of all, this assumes our struggles are far and away harder than the struggles of any other Christian civilization throughout history. Not true! Also, I’m going to need some biblical proof that the answer to a problem is to take a “drastic step in the opposite direction.” I think there are plenty of directives God gives us as to how to live a wise Christian life and if we just followed them (which is hard enough) we’ll be fine. I don’t think we need to go beyond what God has told us to do.
Anyway, the rest of the book is basically rules for living in a way that shows direct opposition to the world. 1. Women must submit to the headship of fathers or husbands; 2. Women should never go to college because every woman who goes to college loses her faith or exits an embittered feminist; 3. It’s best women never work. Ever. But if you must be a “wage slave” work under another Christian woman because male bosses are just RIPE for sexual encounters with their employees; 4. Women must never enter the mission field, unless accompanied by their husbands; 5. Women should never be in leadership positions, not just in the church, which is as far as the bible goes, but in any leadership position ever.
Ok, outside of the first rule, obviously there is plenty to make fun of. Like I said, I love when Christians challenge the world’s thinking, but I think where the bible is silent we should be too. The much touted Proverbs 31 woman works publicly and at home. Priscilla and Aquila BOTH were tent makers. God just doesn’t say whether women should or should not work outside the home. The girls did somewhat hesitatingly admit that going to college, getting a job, etc wasn’t actually a sin, but then they proceeded to heap guilt on you about it.
Anyway, I guess reading the book made me think I was reading a book written by a conspiracy theorist. They had all these examples of women whose lives fell apart in college or who finally found fulfillment in working at home after trying to find in everywhere else. I don’t deny the truth of those stories. I just have a feeling the Botkin sisters would deny my story or the stories of other women I know who have been through college and/or jobs and made it through with our faith still intact and our lives pretty joyful. They’d probably just say that I was well-intentioned and thought I had it together but I didn’t really. You just can’t argue with someone like that.
I would like to know how they would respond when I tell them that due to my college degree I am a better helpmeet to my husband. He actually said it would have been very tough to marry someone who hadn't gone through college. So...hah!
March 15, 2010
I appreciate the sisters trying to write a book about father-daughter relationships, but I think they take it to an extreme, implying that a daughter should be a helpmeet to her father (when it should be the wife) or saying that daughters should wear their father's favorite colors to please him. The book itself was poorly written and, while it was a bit thought-provoking, came across as immature and not well thought-out. I think part of the problem is that they were teenagers when they wrote this and seem to have little true experience with the world beyond what they've heard from other people.
July 16, 2014
I had to read this book as research for a project. At first, it was kind of a fun peek into the fundamentalist Christian culture but by the end, I really understood how Dumbledore must have felt at the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, where he had to drink all of that horrible liquid in order to reach the Horcrux.
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July 13, 2017Read this for the first time a few years ago...then, I'm sure I must have agreed with a lot of this book, (or didn't have the discernment to see what I did or didn't agree with). Tried again a couple years ago and couldn't make it past the first chapter. I was concerned that maybe my attitude was wrong, but I've realized now that although I believe fathers and daughters should have a good relationship, a lot of what is presented in this book is merely an opinion, and not a reality (also, definitely not Biblical!). As daughters, we SHOULD be honoring and loving as God has commanded children, but we are not to be our father's second help-meet. I'm sure if I read this book more thoroughly now I would find many things that I would probably still agree with, but the mindset of a patriarchal belief that the authors and others that were associated with this former publication is extremely harmful and not Biblical!
September 21, 2016
While this book makes some good points and can be useful in some areas of life, the main message is not really biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say that a daughter must treat her father like a future husband and be his helpmate. Also, their criticism of women in the workplace and in college is, I believe, completely unrealistic and again, not biblical. Many of the verses they use are twisted around to fit their agenda, and I don't believe they approach this issue wanting to find out what the bible really says about it. I believe this way of life is their preference and something they want others to consider, and they try to make the bible stand behind their position. I'm sure they're wonderful and godly girls, but I think they're very mistaken.
Edit:
It's been about 10 years now since I first read this book, and several years since writing the above review. It seems very sweet and understanding in retrospect. Now that I am a married, adult woman living my own life, I see what utter and complete poison the message of this book is.
I had friends who followed the philosophy of this book, and I can tell you it has ruined lives and led to more abuse than you can imagine. It encourages women to treat men like gods and foster a weird form of emotional incest between fathers and daughters. It's so twisted and so far away from the message of Christ and His redeeming love that meets every man and woman exactly where they are, and offers them hope. This book is a form of extremism, and it embarrasses me that people will think this represents homeschooling and Christianity.
Go read something else, please.
Edit:
It's been about 10 years now since I first read this book, and several years since writing the above review. It seems very sweet and understanding in retrospect. Now that I am a married, adult woman living my own life, I see what utter and complete poison the message of this book is.
I had friends who followed the philosophy of this book, and I can tell you it has ruined lives and led to more abuse than you can imagine. It encourages women to treat men like gods and foster a weird form of emotional incest between fathers and daughters. It's so twisted and so far away from the message of Christ and His redeeming love that meets every man and woman exactly where they are, and offers them hope. This book is a form of extremism, and it embarrasses me that people will think this represents homeschooling and Christianity.
Go read something else, please.
December 20, 2018
(.5 stars)
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of me headdesking into eternity. I'm trying to get back into book-blogging, so I re-read this and hated every moment of it.
They try to say that it's ok if you want to stay at home after highschool and be a mom after marriage, but they go at it in a wrong and, frankly, quite painful way.
Just go read Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope, it's so much better on many different levels.
If you want more details of why this is bad, see my blog post here: https://baileymarissa08.blogspot.com/...
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of me headdesking into eternity. I'm trying to get back into book-blogging, so I re-read this and hated every moment of it.
They try to say that it's ok if you want to stay at home after highschool and be a mom after marriage, but they go at it in a wrong and, frankly, quite painful way.
Just go read Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope, it's so much better on many different levels.
If you want more details of why this is bad, see my blog post here: https://baileymarissa08.blogspot.com/...
February 17, 2017
I read this book about four or five years ago, and I almost got sucked into its culture. Because, let me just say, this book is a culture. The hermeneutics of the women who wrote it, under the influence of their father, who is under the influence of a much, much bigger system, are a thinly-veiled cultural imposition on the gospel's message and what it says about women. The reading of the controversial passages in the Bible is what one of my favorite theologians, Scot McKnight, would call "lazy." Because the authors don't really engage with what the passages are saying--they're not digging deep into the cultural, linguistic, idiomatic, and historic implications of the texts--and they're not really reading the text in a way that fits into the arch of the story of Scripture; a story that revolves around the character and person of Jesus Christ, who is one of the staunchest promoters of gender equality I know. And let me just drop the heavy F-word here: Jesus, as I read the text in all its nuances and as I study more and more the true meaning of feminism--Jesus is a feminist. And he made a feminist out of me.
But don't let that word deter you. Ignore it, if you will. Let me just point to other books that I think would yield a more faithful rendering of these hard biblical texts in regards to women:
The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans
Lost Women of the Bible by Carolyn Custis James
Half the Church also by Carolyn Custis James
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership by Alan F. Johnson (General Editor) and various authors
And if you really want to adhere to the biblical texts WORD BY WORD, then I recommend you read
Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible
and see if you still want to.
I get that God's relationship to each person is different and unique, but let us not deceive ourselves by misinterpreting the very scriptures we say God gave us.
End of rant.
But don't let that word deter you. Ignore it, if you will. Let me just point to other books that I think would yield a more faithful rendering of these hard biblical texts in regards to women:
The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans
Lost Women of the Bible by Carolyn Custis James
Half the Church also by Carolyn Custis James
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership by Alan F. Johnson (General Editor) and various authors
And if you really want to adhere to the biblical texts WORD BY WORD, then I recommend you read
Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible
and see if you still want to.
I get that God's relationship to each person is different and unique, but let us not deceive ourselves by misinterpreting the very scriptures we say God gave us.
End of rant.
January 23, 2015
I hate this book so much. basically a manual on how to lack backbone and submit to patriarchal ideology. It discourages women from having opinions that differ from their parents and encourages them to submit/admire abuse parental figures. this book is so messed up I used it as one of my main supports for how terrible the homeschool community is in a class paper.
July 21, 2019
As a conservative, Christian, homeschooled young woman, who has a healthy and close relationship with both parents and who is deeply thankful for their guidance and for their commitment to homeschooling and counter-cultural living, I absolutely can not recommend this book to anyone.
Over 20+ years of being involved with other Christian homeschoolers, I have had the opportunity to observe many families with daughters who have followed the Botkins' teaching. Many of these “stay-at-home daughters” have ended up extremely bitter and wounded, sometimes leaving Christianity entirely, with broken parent-child relationships, because the Botkins’ ideas are not sustainable long-term. They damage and distort father-daughter relationships into something meant to be for husbands and wives, while shaming critical thinking.
“Legalism” is a term which has been used all too often to describe people who are committed to following God in every part of their lives because of His inspiring love. When other reviewers say this book is full of legalism, they aren’t talking about that kind of legalism. They are referring to the kind of legalism which demands you don’t question the authors, and that you go above and beyond what God has commanded because that is how to be really Christian and holy. God doesn’t call us to go above and beyond what He has commanded. He calls us to follow Him.
Other reviews have gone into more depth regarding the erroneous teachings of So Much More. I would just like to conclude by pointing out that the Botkin family should never be given a free pass on this book’s content simply because Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth were young when they wrote it. If the sisters were truly under their father’s guidance to the extent which they preach, then he should have been able to realize how unbiblical and illogical their “because-I-said-so” reasoning is. I have heard, anecdotally, that the Botkins are actually very sweet people who feel that they should have worded some things in their book differently. This is no excuse either. This book is a part of a movement which lays an unbearable, ungodly yoke on people while smothering the God-given potential of young women and deceiving fathers into leading their families astray. I have seen so much pain caused by its legalism and deception, and nothing short of an explicit apology and retraction is appropriate in this case.
Matthew 18:6
Over 20+ years of being involved with other Christian homeschoolers, I have had the opportunity to observe many families with daughters who have followed the Botkins' teaching. Many of these “stay-at-home daughters” have ended up extremely bitter and wounded, sometimes leaving Christianity entirely, with broken parent-child relationships, because the Botkins’ ideas are not sustainable long-term. They damage and distort father-daughter relationships into something meant to be for husbands and wives, while shaming critical thinking.
“Legalism” is a term which has been used all too often to describe people who are committed to following God in every part of their lives because of His inspiring love. When other reviewers say this book is full of legalism, they aren’t talking about that kind of legalism. They are referring to the kind of legalism which demands you don’t question the authors, and that you go above and beyond what God has commanded because that is how to be really Christian and holy. God doesn’t call us to go above and beyond what He has commanded. He calls us to follow Him.
Other reviews have gone into more depth regarding the erroneous teachings of So Much More. I would just like to conclude by pointing out that the Botkin family should never be given a free pass on this book’s content simply because Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth were young when they wrote it. If the sisters were truly under their father’s guidance to the extent which they preach, then he should have been able to realize how unbiblical and illogical their “because-I-said-so” reasoning is. I have heard, anecdotally, that the Botkins are actually very sweet people who feel that they should have worded some things in their book differently. This is no excuse either. This book is a part of a movement which lays an unbearable, ungodly yoke on people while smothering the God-given potential of young women and deceiving fathers into leading their families astray. I have seen so much pain caused by its legalism and deception, and nothing short of an explicit apology and retraction is appropriate in this case.
Matthew 18:6
December 4, 2017
Written by two young women at the ages of fifteen and seventeen, this book is an eye-opening testimony to the impact of home-keeping and the real goals of feminism. With candor and wisdom the girls answer numerous questions that people have today. A large part of the book is about the importance of father-daughter relationships. Since my father is not on earth anymore, this seemed to be unrelated to me, but I found that many of the principles could also be applied to my mother or brothers. I had not realized all the horrible goals of feminism and their origins from Marxism. There are also encouraging testimonies from several young ladies who were former feminists or had failed to honor their parents in every way. The book ends with an interview the girls had with their father, giving wise advice to fathers and some to daughters. I agreed with the majority of the book, though it seems they overlooked some good Christian colleges when they talked about the dangers of college. I would agree, however, that most colleges, even many Christian ones, can be dangerous and unprofitable for young women. There were also a few other things I don't necessarily agree with (such as what was said about mission trips)--sometimes I think fuller explanations would have helped, and more ideas for people who don't have ideal situations. Overall, though, I enjoyed the book.
July 25, 2011
The Botkin sisters have quite a lot of wisdom to share. They promote a beautiful vision of a strong family united under proper leadership and expose a lot of ugly Marxist teaching that has become common.
Unfortunately, a girl's relationship with her dad seems to be overemphasized at the expense of her other relationships. Particularly the relationship between a girl and her mother. I do not think this was intentional, I think it was a reaction to the anti-dad attitudes and disrespect prevalent in our culture. That said, I believe this book displays a skewed view of reality and godly young adulthood.
Please don't let my review discourage you from reading this book. If you take it with a grain of salt where grains of salt are required, it could be very beneficial to you. Just be sure to bring your salt.
Unfortunately, a girl's relationship with her dad seems to be overemphasized at the expense of her other relationships. Particularly the relationship between a girl and her mother. I do not think this was intentional, I think it was a reaction to the anti-dad attitudes and disrespect prevalent in our culture. That said, I believe this book displays a skewed view of reality and godly young adulthood.
Please don't let my review discourage you from reading this book. If you take it with a grain of salt where grains of salt are required, it could be very beneficial to you. Just be sure to bring your salt.
October 5, 2007
A fairly decent book on the father-daughter relationship. I have problems with it, though. I was okay with the book, then, it started talking about women in the workplace. I mostly agree with what it was saying about that, but then it started saying that women should not go to college, because professors could criticize you for your faith. Personally, I think this is very good for the believer in Christ. It can really strengthen you to stand up for your faith. Another thing I had issues with was that they were saying that you should stay at home till you're married. I guess if you don't go to college, you don't have a reason to live anywhere, but, I don't know. I mean, I know women are the weaker vessel, but, this book I think kind of makes women...too weak. You know what I mean? We're not supposed to be worthless dumbbells...
January 16, 2009
One of THE BEST books for Christian females out there in my opinion! Want to know how to be so much more than just the average Christian gal? Read this book!
February 13, 2012
Let me explain my rating, because to some this may seem unfair. I'll admitt that this book had me up really late at night reading and mulling over some things and with prayer I have come to the conclusion that this book is one where you take some things to heart and leave others behind. It's not a one-size-fits-all solution to the worlds troubles. And I believe that some of the passages needed more clarification on what specifically they were saying, because sometimes I would find a Bible verse about surrendering and obeying Our Heavenly Father chopped down and inserted into an questionable context, where I believe that we were speaking of our earthly fathers. I think that should have been done with more care, because other verses could have been found that suited what the sisters were saying, either that or they could have used the whole verse so that the context of the original verse was clear. While there were some great things to take away, and it did make me re-examine how I live and make choices, I would say that a different book could be found to talk about femininity that was more clear on certain things and less my-way-or-the-highway on others. For example the sections on why women shouldn't pursue careers and go to college, were ones that I think are different for different people. I wouldn't say that all women should go to college and yes, for some staying home would be more benficial than being shoved off to college. But as I heard at a homeschool conference, "don't send your children to college unless you know that they are ready. And they are ready when they have a purpose, and are ready to be strong Christian soldiers for the Lord, defending and standing firm on their faith." I agree that soemtimes the college atmosphere is not ideal, and should even be avoided at times, but there are solutions such as cleping out and taking online courses from home.
Much of the book talked about how motherhood and so on and how staying home would best prepare one for that. Which is true. But I also believe that this book came fromt he homeschool frame of mind, and around where I live, which is right by the border of a state that requires a college degree to prove that you are capable of homeschooling your children. Now I don't agree with that law, far from it. But I do not think that it is wrong to be prepared if your family were to move to such a state. Which is one of the reasons that in my homeschool community we encourage young women to earn those degrees online.
About careers I believe that we live in a fallen world, and things are not the way they used to be. And again this book is not a one-size-fits-all solution. We live in the consequences of a fallen world, and while we would like things to be ideal, they aren't and for some who are alone in the world without family or others to support themselves, I believe that working is a much better solution as opposed to living on welfare. Which might be taking it too far, I know.
Overall I would say that this is an interesting book, but definitely be discerning and test everything. There are some great things that will test you in a wonderful way and help you in your journey to being what God calls you to be. I would recommend alot of prayer. But also don't be afraid to test and question. If you want my straight up opinion, I would say that a different book may be ideal or at least to read along with it. I would suggest Set Apart Feminity or Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. Thanks for reading this somewhat muddled review :)
Much of the book talked about how motherhood and so on and how staying home would best prepare one for that. Which is true. But I also believe that this book came fromt he homeschool frame of mind, and around where I live, which is right by the border of a state that requires a college degree to prove that you are capable of homeschooling your children. Now I don't agree with that law, far from it. But I do not think that it is wrong to be prepared if your family were to move to such a state. Which is one of the reasons that in my homeschool community we encourage young women to earn those degrees online.
About careers I believe that we live in a fallen world, and things are not the way they used to be. And again this book is not a one-size-fits-all solution. We live in the consequences of a fallen world, and while we would like things to be ideal, they aren't and for some who are alone in the world without family or others to support themselves, I believe that working is a much better solution as opposed to living on welfare. Which might be taking it too far, I know.
Overall I would say that this is an interesting book, but definitely be discerning and test everything. There are some great things that will test you in a wonderful way and help you in your journey to being what God calls you to be. I would recommend alot of prayer. But also don't be afraid to test and question. If you want my straight up opinion, I would say that a different book may be ideal or at least to read along with it. I would suggest Set Apart Feminity or Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. Thanks for reading this somewhat muddled review :)
March 22, 2011
Pessimist I have been, yet optimistic I still have yet to be, this book grabbed me by my heart-strings and gave a good long, amiable tug. So Much More speaks aloud what I believe we women whisper to ourselves. It seemed to me to be a feministic book from the title inward, but as I started to read a little, I realized it was the exact opposite. It was a return to what we were designed for, what we dream of, and how to deal with the curse that God has cast upon us as sinners. No wonder women thought it was oppression because of their sex, because of their feminity. Our culture really and truly is Marxist, if not more so culturally.
Since I was a child I was taught to be strong, to tug my end of the rope, and help make ends meet. But in a manly way I did these things, and I saw nothing wrong with that, but seeing how joyful many Christian women were made me feel jealous and wonder how they accepted their "tedious" and "ordinary" lives. Few of them pursued careers, and only some went to a big university. But all were philosophers in their own rights, and had formation, identity, and above all, a loving and mostly self-less heart.
Since I was a child I was taught to be strong, to tug my end of the rope, and help make ends meet. But in a manly way I did these things, and I saw nothing wrong with that, but seeing how joyful many Christian women were made me feel jealous and wonder how they accepted their "tedious" and "ordinary" lives. Few of them pursued careers, and only some went to a big university. But all were philosophers in their own rights, and had formation, identity, and above all, a loving and mostly self-less heart.
September 26, 2011
Very encouraging and thought-provoking. This book opens up a Biblical vision for what it means to be a Christian young woman embracing God's design for her femininity in today's feminist culture. There were a few things I didn't understand or necessarily agree with, but the overall message of the book was right on: challenging young women to live with vision and purpose in their God-ordained roles, embrace their femininity, to be strong in character and virtue, and to serve their families and whomever God brings into their life. Today, the role of women is widely misunderstood and this book is meant to change that.
May 22, 2010
So Much More was an incredible read. Not only was it extremely well-written by two young amazing ladies, I learnt a lot about feminism – what it's about, it's history, and what feminists are actually saying – about femininity and being a woman – what that looks like and what the Bible has to say about it – and about the family model; how I fit into it and the blessings that come out of a Bible-based family. Definitely five stars - it was amazing.
September 22, 2007
This is a must read for all young women!!
May 24, 2018
Back when I had a very narrow view of what God could possibly be like, and what He expected of me, this book seemed very good. Now, not so much.
June 15, 2008
This book was probably the best book I've ever read concerning young women. I'm new to this whole biblical girlhood, womanhood, femininity thing and this book answered every one of my question and then some. Furthermore, this book was very easy to read and had great footnotes and gave references to the bible.
The books has eighteen chapters two Appendixes and a acknowledgment.
At times I was a bit uncomfortable seeing how me and my father don't get along very well but the Botkin sisters made it very clear that that's okay, and that even if I don't have a Godly father I can strive to give my future (God-willing) children something that I never had.
One of the chapters talk about Christ's enemies, who they are (Karl Marx), and Marxism connection with feminism and how it hasn't helped women.
The books also tells the readers what is a real woman, and traits that we Christian women should strive to cultivate or get rid of. The chapter also talks about how a godly woman should dress and the standards of dress. (They never make it clear that women should wear only dresses just small hints. Which are quite obvious). What femininity is, what young women should be learning before marriage, why their against sending young women to college, they talk about the right career for women, and what we should try to learn in order to become good wives, and clear up a couple thing about the proverbs 31 woman.
The Botkin sisters have been accused of trying to take America back 200 and they have not just the good parts of american history and applying them to today. Which is good because as an African-American I don't think that I want to go back 200 years... If you know what I mean (slavery, Jim Crow etc.)
This book is more of a question and answer book than a novel and has several testimonies by women both young and old.
I would recommend this books for beginners of the faith. (specifically fathers and daughters)
The books has eighteen chapters two Appendixes and a acknowledgment.
At times I was a bit uncomfortable seeing how me and my father don't get along very well but the Botkin sisters made it very clear that that's okay, and that even if I don't have a Godly father I can strive to give my future (God-willing) children something that I never had.
One of the chapters talk about Christ's enemies, who they are (Karl Marx), and Marxism connection with feminism and how it hasn't helped women.
The books also tells the readers what is a real woman, and traits that we Christian women should strive to cultivate or get rid of. The chapter also talks about how a godly woman should dress and the standards of dress. (They never make it clear that women should wear only dresses just small hints. Which are quite obvious). What femininity is, what young women should be learning before marriage, why their against sending young women to college, they talk about the right career for women, and what we should try to learn in order to become good wives, and clear up a couple thing about the proverbs 31 woman.
The Botkin sisters have been accused of trying to take America back 200 and they have not just the good parts of american history and applying them to today. Which is good because as an African-American I don't think that I want to go back 200 years... If you know what I mean (slavery, Jim Crow etc.)
This book is more of a question and answer book than a novel and has several testimonies by women both young and old.
I would recommend this books for beginners of the faith. (specifically fathers and daughters)
August 11, 2008
Wow! This book is controversial! They directly assaulted Marxism, individualism, feminism and socialism in convincing fashion and come out, in my opinion the winner. Not only does it attack the above but it openly assaults the general Christian population and says they are way off also.
It sure challenged my beliefs in many things, and for the most part has actually changed how I view things. I find myself challenging things in society in my head now and asking questions. "Who said this is the way it is suppose to be?"
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about this and we also watched the video that goes along with the book. This is a great book to study with your older children after you have read it. A great book for homeschooling families. I just can't get over it, so much to think about. So many things to ask questions about and challenge.
The only thing I didn't agree with was some of the theology in the book, especially relating to Adam and Eve. At the same time I actually agreed with a whole lot more in theology than I even thought that I would.
If you dare to read this book you'll either come out loving it or absolutely hating it. Many will rebel against the ideas presented, but it will sure make you think...
A life changer...
It sure challenged my beliefs in many things, and for the most part has actually changed how I view things. I find myself challenging things in society in my head now and asking questions. "Who said this is the way it is suppose to be?"
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about this and we also watched the video that goes along with the book. This is a great book to study with your older children after you have read it. A great book for homeschooling families. I just can't get over it, so much to think about. So many things to ask questions about and challenge.
The only thing I didn't agree with was some of the theology in the book, especially relating to Adam and Eve. At the same time I actually agreed with a whole lot more in theology than I even thought that I would.
If you dare to read this book you'll either come out loving it or absolutely hating it. Many will rebel against the ideas presented, but it will sure make you think...
A life changer...
November 29, 2008
It has been a long time since I read a book that I enjoyed so much. So Much More is a book that every single woman needs to read. It brought to my attention so many areas in which my thinking had been influenced by lies related to a woman's role in general, but more specifically, a daughter's role. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin have taken the simple truths of God's word related to His design for the family and written a piece that I hope will change the world, one woman at a time. They present the principles of God's word as they are: simple and true. If you're looking for a clear explanation of what in the world you're suppose to be doing as a single young woman, open this book and let it point you to God's word. It challenged me to throw out all of my preconceived ideas about God's purpose for me as a single woman and simply walk by faith. It challenged me to believe God's Word for what it is: the truth. This book is going on my favorites list.
August 11, 2009
I was planning to do an in-depth chapter-by-chapter review of this book, but I just don't have the time. I have, however, found two very good reviews that I'll share with you.
The first one is done as a chapter-by-chapter review (like I was hoping to do :)), and although she only has the first four chapters done, it's very thorough and I agree with her wholeheartedly. :) You can find it at:
http://trulymore.blogspot.com
The second is actually two reviews, but they're both done by the same lady. You can find them here, at :
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
AND
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
I hope these reviews will help you decide whether you want to read the book for yourself or not. Personally, I found I disagreed with the authors far more often than I agreed, and it's books like that I try to stay away from.
The first one is done as a chapter-by-chapter review (like I was hoping to do :)), and although she only has the first four chapters done, it's very thorough and I agree with her wholeheartedly. :) You can find it at:
http://trulymore.blogspot.com
The second is actually two reviews, but they're both done by the same lady. You can find them here, at :
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
AND
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
I hope these reviews will help you decide whether you want to read the book for yourself or not. Personally, I found I disagreed with the authors far more often than I agreed, and it's books like that I try to stay away from.
January 12, 2008
There was a lot that I agreed with in this book, and a fair amount that I did not agree with, too. I found it to be pretty thorough in discussing family issues and think it would be an excellent springboard for a conservative couple to read before marriage to help them discuss how they plan to raise their family. That was my opinion as a 20-something, rather than the teenagers it is geared for. :-)
June 10, 2012
LOVE.
Anybody that wants to change there life a little bit in a great way read this book.
p.s. make sure your heart is open.
Anybody that wants to change there life a little bit in a great way read this book.
p.s. make sure your heart is open.
January 15, 2016
Kinda good, kinda from a cult. Kinda nice-sweet-pure-Christian-authors, kinda oh-my-word-they're-old-maids-and-daddy's-girls.
Yep, definitely needed to re-rate this one.
Yep, definitely needed to re-rate this one.
October 20, 2023
I read this years ago and while it made plenty of great points, (like many Christian books do) it was MAJORLY closed-minded & legalistic. The writers went as far as to say a female’s place was at home, so going to college or even working outside the home was unseemly. I simply cannot agree, so no thank you. :)
February 3, 2025
Let me begin by saying that I love the hearts of the young women who wrote this book. They did it out of zeal for a biblical way of life and with a desire to encourage and inspire other woman to leave behind secularism and return to the traditional roles of womanhood. However, in their enthusiasm, they entered the dangerous waters of extremism. Nearly anything, when pushed to its limits turns from good to destructive and that is the case with many areas of this book.
I grew up very conservative, left it for a time in anger and embraced a feminist mindset, and now I’ve returned to my original thoughts on womanhood, marriage and family. I’ve been on both sides of this debate, in a way. I am 100% for biblical and traditional families and gender roles and agree with the Botkin sisters that feminism is not a liberation of women, but a way to infiltrate the most sacred part of society – the family – and destroy it.
Many reviewers complain that this book is full of legalism. While this is many things, it isn’t legalistic. We’ve made legalism such a big deal that it’s almost worse than sin in many Christian circles. We are not free from laws simply because Christ came – no, we are not under the Mosaic law, but we are under the law of Christ and that most certainly doesn’t mean that we get to live in any way we wish. This is, however, a very long discussion that doesn’t belong in this book review.
So Much More is written to young woman to encourage them to place themselves under their fathers (or older brothers, etc. in the case of a father’s absence) protection, love and authority in all areas of life. I agree with so much of what they said: fathers should be involved in education, in jobs, in marriage, in purity, and in all areas of life.
While there was much good in the book, I found four chapters particularly unbiblical and frustrating.
Should Women Work Outside the Home?
The Botkin sisters argue that while there are occasionally times when a woman can work outside the home, it is frowned upon and destructive. An unmarried woman should stay at home and work in her father or brother’s business. If she leaves, she is “pretending to be a man” and seeking to be a “wage slave”. If a woman gives her talents to anyone but her family, she is throwing away her gifts.
God doesn’t call us to be isolated. As Christians we aren’t to live in our little communes alone – we are to go into all the world and tell of Him! Working is an excellent way to do this. I have had so many conversations about faith and God with my co-workers. Many of those would have never happened otherwise.
This chapter is also primarily speaking to married woman with children, which doesn’t fit as the rest of the book is for single women living at home. While I agree that mothers should, whenever possible, be home with their children and not in the workforce, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a single woman getting a job and growing her life skills that way. There is also nothing wrong with her remaining at home and working in the family business! I’ve greatly enjoyed working with my dad and helping him. It’s personal preference, and it shouldn’t be laid down as law.
Should Woman Go To College?
This chapter had to be the worst for making subjective statements and setting them up as undeniable truths. The authors state that a young woman should absolutely never attend college (though they say nothing about men) as it will do nothing but corrupt and indoctrinate her.
They say that all colleges are evil (they’re basically schools of Satanism) and the goal behind every single college is to teach Marxism. These schools, they say, go against everything that the Bible teaches and that even Christian colleges have been corrupted. Parents only send their children to college so that they can be “like the world” and not out of a genuine desire to help them succeed in the world.
Oh dear.
I don’t disagree that many colleges have been corrupted and are out to indoctrinate students. But that doesn’t mean that every single college is that way or that there is nothing to be gained by pursuing higher education.
College was never a demand in my home, which I am thankful for. The choice was left to me, and I knew that I would never go simply for the “experience” or for the sake of the degree. If I was going to invest money and years of my life, it would be for the purpose of gaining knowledge that I would need for life. Hence why I am now twenty-one and only entering college to study evangelism and missions work.
You can absolutely become indoctrinated and lose a solid foundation by going to college. But you can also walk away stronger and with knowledge that will serve you for a lifetime.
Courtship & Marriage
I agreed with the authors that the American dating scene is awful and so often causes heartbreak, infidelity, and brokenness to all parties. I love the idea of courtship and if I ever get married, that’s the way I want to do it. I want my father to be involved in every aspect of the process, and I want there to be strong physical boundaries (as a ten year old, I decided that I’d cover myself completely so that my future husband would never see anything but my eyes until we were married – my inspiration came from the story of Rebekkah and Jacob, lol).
As happened so often in this book, the authors take good principles and push them to the extreme. They say that if a girl has a crush on a boy, it’s sinning and that it is an act of mental infidelity to the future husband – she is no long a “one-man” woman. Of course, our thoughts are immensely important, and if we’re fantasizing about men that’s sin, but an innocent, girlish crush is certainly not the same as having pre-marital sex.
I was frustrated that they didn’t offer more practical advice for girls who will remain single. They touched on it briefly, but it was mainly, “Get married unless you are 100% sure that God has CALLED YOU into singleness – but even then, be ready to marry.” Some of us may never get married, but that doesn’t mean that we are shut out from the blessings of a life lived to the fullest with God.
Missions:
I have compassion for the writers as they were very young (still teenagers) and didn’t have a lot of life experience. But goodness, this chapter made me angry. In short, the Botkin sisters argue for the idea that women should never go overseas or do any missions work that isn’t within a very small radius of their husband/father’s homes.
They began by making the excellent point that all Christians are called to be missionaries. That doesn’t mean that we’ll all go overseas. You can tell people about Christ wherever you are. Your family, your neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc. We all have evangelistic opportunities.
They made another good point in that short-term mission trips often do more harm than good, and that if we want to see permanent change in the areas that we are serving, we must be more involved than passing through for a few short days.
However, as with the chapter on college, many subjective statements are pushed as ultimate truth.
They state that as they never see female missionaries in the Bible, but only in roles of service in the home, therefore women today shouldn’t leave the home for missions work. That line of reasoning doesn’t make sense to me. Yes, hospitality and serving in the community directly near you is an immense mission field and one that you could spend your whole life pouring into! I don’t want to underscore that ministry. But it isn’t the only way that God can use women and to say so limits His power.
I like what Major W. Ian Thomas says in The Saving Life of Christ, “You are committed to Christ, and it is His business to commit you where He wants you. No man or woman on earth has the right to commit any member of the body of Jesus Christ to any task or to any field; that is to usurp the authority of the head of the body, Jesus Christ Himself.”
The authors say that the only time it is okay for a woman to go overseas or away from her community is if her father/husband is accompanying her and it is his mission, not hers. Single woman who feel called to go overseas – forget it. You’re sinning.
They go so far as to say that all missions’ organizations are less than biblical, that woman who go into missions are like Uzzah (who God killed for touching the Ark of the Covenant improperly), and that if a single woman leaves her home to minister, she is living in sin.
I quote: “We should give godly people honor for the worthy things they did and learn from their example. But we should recognize that these godly women do not in fact feature in the Bible, and their examples can’t be used as a Scripture precept. Just because a godly person did a good deed in a certain way doesn’t mean that it is God’s Way of getting that deed done.”
I understand the zeal that the authors have for God and the desire to live for Him in every area of life. But they have a lot of gall to say that Amy Carmichael, Lilias Trotter, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, Mother Teressa, and Corrie Ten Boom were living lives outside of God’s will and that their lives were less than what God desired for them.
With that final thought, I shall bring this long review to a close.
I grew up very conservative, left it for a time in anger and embraced a feminist mindset, and now I’ve returned to my original thoughts on womanhood, marriage and family. I’ve been on both sides of this debate, in a way. I am 100% for biblical and traditional families and gender roles and agree with the Botkin sisters that feminism is not a liberation of women, but a way to infiltrate the most sacred part of society – the family – and destroy it.
Many reviewers complain that this book is full of legalism. While this is many things, it isn’t legalistic. We’ve made legalism such a big deal that it’s almost worse than sin in many Christian circles. We are not free from laws simply because Christ came – no, we are not under the Mosaic law, but we are under the law of Christ and that most certainly doesn’t mean that we get to live in any way we wish. This is, however, a very long discussion that doesn’t belong in this book review.
So Much More is written to young woman to encourage them to place themselves under their fathers (or older brothers, etc. in the case of a father’s absence) protection, love and authority in all areas of life. I agree with so much of what they said: fathers should be involved in education, in jobs, in marriage, in purity, and in all areas of life.
While there was much good in the book, I found four chapters particularly unbiblical and frustrating.
Should Women Work Outside the Home?
The Botkin sisters argue that while there are occasionally times when a woman can work outside the home, it is frowned upon and destructive. An unmarried woman should stay at home and work in her father or brother’s business. If she leaves, she is “pretending to be a man” and seeking to be a “wage slave”. If a woman gives her talents to anyone but her family, she is throwing away her gifts.
God doesn’t call us to be isolated. As Christians we aren’t to live in our little communes alone – we are to go into all the world and tell of Him! Working is an excellent way to do this. I have had so many conversations about faith and God with my co-workers. Many of those would have never happened otherwise.
This chapter is also primarily speaking to married woman with children, which doesn’t fit as the rest of the book is for single women living at home. While I agree that mothers should, whenever possible, be home with their children and not in the workforce, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a single woman getting a job and growing her life skills that way. There is also nothing wrong with her remaining at home and working in the family business! I’ve greatly enjoyed working with my dad and helping him. It’s personal preference, and it shouldn’t be laid down as law.
Should Woman Go To College?
This chapter had to be the worst for making subjective statements and setting them up as undeniable truths. The authors state that a young woman should absolutely never attend college (though they say nothing about men) as it will do nothing but corrupt and indoctrinate her.
They say that all colleges are evil (they’re basically schools of Satanism) and the goal behind every single college is to teach Marxism. These schools, they say, go against everything that the Bible teaches and that even Christian colleges have been corrupted. Parents only send their children to college so that they can be “like the world” and not out of a genuine desire to help them succeed in the world.
Oh dear.
I don’t disagree that many colleges have been corrupted and are out to indoctrinate students. But that doesn’t mean that every single college is that way or that there is nothing to be gained by pursuing higher education.
College was never a demand in my home, which I am thankful for. The choice was left to me, and I knew that I would never go simply for the “experience” or for the sake of the degree. If I was going to invest money and years of my life, it would be for the purpose of gaining knowledge that I would need for life. Hence why I am now twenty-one and only entering college to study evangelism and missions work.
You can absolutely become indoctrinated and lose a solid foundation by going to college. But you can also walk away stronger and with knowledge that will serve you for a lifetime.
Courtship & Marriage
I agreed with the authors that the American dating scene is awful and so often causes heartbreak, infidelity, and brokenness to all parties. I love the idea of courtship and if I ever get married, that’s the way I want to do it. I want my father to be involved in every aspect of the process, and I want there to be strong physical boundaries (as a ten year old, I decided that I’d cover myself completely so that my future husband would never see anything but my eyes until we were married – my inspiration came from the story of Rebekkah and Jacob, lol).
As happened so often in this book, the authors take good principles and push them to the extreme. They say that if a girl has a crush on a boy, it’s sinning and that it is an act of mental infidelity to the future husband – she is no long a “one-man” woman. Of course, our thoughts are immensely important, and if we’re fantasizing about men that’s sin, but an innocent, girlish crush is certainly not the same as having pre-marital sex.
I was frustrated that they didn’t offer more practical advice for girls who will remain single. They touched on it briefly, but it was mainly, “Get married unless you are 100% sure that God has CALLED YOU into singleness – but even then, be ready to marry.” Some of us may never get married, but that doesn’t mean that we are shut out from the blessings of a life lived to the fullest with God.
Missions:
I have compassion for the writers as they were very young (still teenagers) and didn’t have a lot of life experience. But goodness, this chapter made me angry. In short, the Botkin sisters argue for the idea that women should never go overseas or do any missions work that isn’t within a very small radius of their husband/father’s homes.
They began by making the excellent point that all Christians are called to be missionaries. That doesn’t mean that we’ll all go overseas. You can tell people about Christ wherever you are. Your family, your neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc. We all have evangelistic opportunities.
They made another good point in that short-term mission trips often do more harm than good, and that if we want to see permanent change in the areas that we are serving, we must be more involved than passing through for a few short days.
However, as with the chapter on college, many subjective statements are pushed as ultimate truth.
They state that as they never see female missionaries in the Bible, but only in roles of service in the home, therefore women today shouldn’t leave the home for missions work. That line of reasoning doesn’t make sense to me. Yes, hospitality and serving in the community directly near you is an immense mission field and one that you could spend your whole life pouring into! I don’t want to underscore that ministry. But it isn’t the only way that God can use women and to say so limits His power.
I like what Major W. Ian Thomas says in The Saving Life of Christ, “You are committed to Christ, and it is His business to commit you where He wants you. No man or woman on earth has the right to commit any member of the body of Jesus Christ to any task or to any field; that is to usurp the authority of the head of the body, Jesus Christ Himself.”
The authors say that the only time it is okay for a woman to go overseas or away from her community is if her father/husband is accompanying her and it is his mission, not hers. Single woman who feel called to go overseas – forget it. You’re sinning.
They go so far as to say that all missions’ organizations are less than biblical, that woman who go into missions are like Uzzah (who God killed for touching the Ark of the Covenant improperly), and that if a single woman leaves her home to minister, she is living in sin.
I quote: “We should give godly people honor for the worthy things they did and learn from their example. But we should recognize that these godly women do not in fact feature in the Bible, and their examples can’t be used as a Scripture precept. Just because a godly person did a good deed in a certain way doesn’t mean that it is God’s Way of getting that deed done.”
I understand the zeal that the authors have for God and the desire to live for Him in every area of life. But they have a lot of gall to say that Amy Carmichael, Lilias Trotter, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, Mother Teressa, and Corrie Ten Boom were living lives outside of God’s will and that their lives were less than what God desired for them.
With that final thought, I shall bring this long review to a close.
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