I'm seriously going to collect ALL of Diane Chamberlain's novels...she is the absolute best author, one never knows what she's going to come up with next...WOW.
This story had me from the beginning and I simply couldn't put it down!
The quote before chapter one is something that my oldest daughter gave me under a collage of my five children for a Mother's Day present. "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." but Diane included the rest of it..."Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." ~Richard Bach
Isn't that what we all want...family? I've always wanted to feel connected with someone unconditinoally and thought that having children would guarantee me that but it doesn't. Children grow up and they are individuals just like the rest of us and there is no guarantee of their love in return no matter how much a parent tries to love and nurture them. We make decisions every day...many times I was ambivalent in what to do for my children. I tried to do the best that I could with the knowledge I had at the time.
The novel isn't about rejection or anything by family, but shows that those that are your 'true' family may or may not be blood relatives. I'm shocked how many years it has taken me to figure this out. I've always wanted to be a part of some family...even thought that if I could find 'blood' relatives, they would embrace me but again this is never a guarantee. I originally wanted only three children and was ambivalent in making a decision about having more. Didn't know if I could afford them and yet somehow I knew there were more to be part of my life. A quiver full of children seemed to be the right number for me even though I had grown up with only one brother. Now, I can't imagine my life without all five of them...they are all very special and yet they're not always willing to communicate with mom. I'm also the step-mother of two other children with many in my life that call me Momma Rae because they were part of our lives while the children were growing up and some were music students of mine. They all are very special to me.
With that, every family has secrets and usually more secrets than we could ever imagine. I even allowed three apple boxes of 'notes' be taken to the dump when trying really hard to start my life over. Thinking that by allowing them to be taken away would allow water to flow under the bridge, never to be addressed again. But, our past always comes back to us. I was ambivalent and couldn't make up my mind at the time and of course have regretted my decision to let them go. I've never written in an official diary, but within those 'notes' that were thrown away were hidden messages to myself. In fear that they would be discovered, my private thoughts made public, I turned my heart and let them go. Now, I wish that I had them back...hindsight with many regrets. I'm currently working to 'remember' some of the things that were written because they could help me now find my way.
In this story, there is a diary that tells a story which is powerfully important and holds the key to someone's happiness and hope for a future. I totally understood the heartache of trying to make the right choice for family...should I or shouldn't I...then later maybe could have, should have, would have...we all deal with this.
The heart of this novel is a hunger for unconditional love, wanting family, wanting to feel like you belong somewhere. So much happens in life that we have absolutely no control over and it's important to learn to let go of the past. Let the water flow under the bridge...let things go. Know that you did the best you could do and when you find out secrets that have been kept from you, try to forgive, press forward and find your own path in life. There is healing from grief that touched my soul...I've been there on too many levels myself. I could feel everything these characters were experiencing.
Without giving you the resolution or summation of what actually happens, it's hard for me to tell you how intimate this novel was. I love these characters and want to know more. I want their story to continue. I want to be a part of their family!
Thank you Diane...as I try to share my heart here, I'm sobbing. I totally understand the genetics involved with how we turn out as adults and I agree that environment has a lot to do with it as well. When the truth comes out and skeletons are revealed, only then can we move forward with hope of a brighter future. We can find family and live a happy life as the people we were meant to be. Whole and completely free.
Another quote from the novel, “Only recently, she’d discovered that she was a pretty good liar. She’d lived her entire life valuing honesty and integrity. Suddenly, she’d become manipulative, a master at deceit. She could, when pressed, travel far outside the law.”
This struck me hard and I immediately related to this protagonist! I have lived my entire life valuing honesty and integrity, hating liars more than anything but found myself willing to lie in order to get information, even willing to cover for someone I knew was breaking the law. I have became manipulative, a master at deceit at times, in order to bring something about that I was confident was best for all. This quote was early in the first chapter and kept me on my seat the entire novel. Wanting to know what is going to happen and how in the world she was going to get the answers she needed. Mystery and suspense, twists at every turn and revalations that you would never expect. That is Diane Chamberlain. She knows how to weave the most incredible stories. You will NOT want to miss this one!!!