Dusty

by YellowBella, TeamBella23 (pseudonym ), YellowGlue (pseudonym )

Now published as Innocents

She loves him. He loves her crazy. She's a hopeless romantic. He's just hopeless. She's afraid to let go. He won't let her. A story about a silly girl in love with a foolish boy. Here, forever is a lie.

Twilight Fanfic
Words: 409,514 Complete

Genres: Fan Fiction, Romance, New Adult, Young Adult, Contemporary, Dark, Contemporary Romance

1229 pages, Online Fiction

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

YellowBella is a joint pseudonym used by two other pseudonyms TeamBella23 and YellowGlue for writing fanfiction.

Those pseudonyms belong to Mary Elizabeth and Sarah Elizabeth

Reviews

[Lucia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dusty is difficult read, heavy on angst, I needed breaks to finish it, it broke my heart but it was so worth it! It is unforgettable story, definitely a must-read!



This story is nothing like Twilight. Besides the fact that characters are called Bella and Edward and they live in Forks, EVERYTHING is different. This story is not for faint-hearted so be prepared for a depressive read.



Bella and Edward went from friendship, through secret young love to obsessive teenage love. Dusty is about the strongest of loves, about hurt and heartbreak, about lies and broken promises, about being emotionally dependant on someone and being unable to let go...



If you are not against reading raw, depressive and realistic story, definitely go for this one, I recommend it from bottom of my heart!

[Vishous · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I started reading this book I knew what was I getting myself into only by number of pages. yep 1700 pages.... I mean WTF?! But I read them all. I did skim in the beginning because their childhood was stretched for 30% and I was bored as hell during that part but then... then I got hooked when the CRAZY began.

Do you have any idea how I feel about this book?!

I HATE THIS BOOK!
I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!
I HATE ALL THE CHARACTERS!
I HATE HIM! I HATE HER!
I HATE THIS F*CKING STORY!
I HATE THE WRITING!
I HATE IT ALL WITH ALL MY BONES!

AND I HATE THAT I LOVE IT SO F*CKING MUCH!!!!!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I was pretty much pissed 100% of the book.... yep... I don't think there was a moment when I wasn't pissed... pretty much everything pissed me of.


They said LOVE made them do all that stuff, LOVE made them what they became... LOVE LOVE LOVE....

well I can tell you that HATE made me write this, HATE will make me buy this book if it ever goes published in paperback just so I can torn it piece by piece and then burn it with smile on my face! HATE made me scream how f*cking stupid they are.

HATE whispers to me that he is selfish prick, that he is asshole, that he is spoiled brat, that he is junkie only thinking about himself.

HATE whispers to me that she is the biggest idiot I ever read about, that she is spineless, stupid, so weak that she forgave EVERYTHING!

HATE whispers to me until I scream, scream, scream....

My heart didn't flip, flip, flutter....

my heart screamed, screamed, bloody screamed with rage!

My pulse, pulse, pulsing heart wanted kill, kill, killing-time!

This isn't LOVE...

this is obsession and holding onto something that destroys you second by second for 9 years.

My heart whispers to me that I love them, that I should stop denying myself...

but my brain pushes heart's whispering out...

Does my writing style pisses you of?!? Annoys the shit out of you?!?!

WELL IMAGINE 1700 PAGES OF THAT ANNOYING SHIT!

Imagine hating something with all you got and then imagine how much can that annoy you because you end up loving it so much.

I wanted non HEA because they don't deserve any type of HEA! They deserve mental institution!

But this ending!?

OOH GOOOOD!!!!!

My rage keeps boil, boil, boiling up!

It will only calm when I burn the paperback....

To all you BEAUTIFUL DISASTER non-fans that hated the book without reading it... I dare you all to read this and then comeback and tell me that BD was over the top.... you have no idea what a piece of cookie that was comparing to this.... I dare you to read this and then say that BD isn't right for molding young brains.... you have no bloody idea how BD is child story compared to this fan fiction of TWILIGHT....

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING, CONSUMING, EMOTIONAL, BRILLIANT 6 STARS


This amazing written story is about 2 young people and their friends.
Its about LOVE
Consuming, addictive love, secret love...
Its about Isabella and Edwards love...
"Tell me a secret I whisper in his ear"...."I LOVE YOU" he says

Love?

Love is so fucking corrupt.

Love is lying and tricking. Love is hard work. Love is suffocating and using. It’s head-fucking and soul-ruining. It’s apprehensive and back-stabbing. It’s passionate. It’s chilling. It’s smile-giving, but neck-breaking. It’s not worth it. It’s so fucking worth it. It’s everything I thought it was, and everything I thought it wasn’t.

Love is guilty. Love is escaping. Love is sunny-side eggs and candy-corn. It’s late night phone calls and stealing time. It’s keeping calm. It’s livid. Love is unresisting. Love is in the little girl with the yellow popsicle. Love is watching the fireworks in her eyes. Love is holding hands under the blankets and having something to look forward to. Love is belonging. Love is no longer belonging to yourself. Love is fighting a losing battle. Love is a secret. Love is untruth. Love is two years younger, but a million times older.

Love is at my house, ignoring my unease.

Love has ruined everything, but made it so much better.

Love is a blissful wonder.

Love is a strawberry-blonde, liar, tease-baby, princess-girl, torture. She has it all wrong. She should have picked up. If she cared, she would have. Love would have answered.

Love has the best of me.

Love is always supposed to understand.

Love is supposed to be effortless.

Love is supposed to be loyal.

Love is always supposed to answer.

But Love is love’s traitor.

When Isabella's family move to a new town and she starts a new school, she meets Alice who becomes her new very best friend.
Alice has an older brother Edward he's 13 and whilst Bella is 11 she is captivated by him.
As the years go by, Bella becomes more involved with Alice's family. Her parents are protective, suffocating where Alice's are open, more care free. Whilst staying one night at Alice's she sees Edward is still awake watching TV in his bedroom, she asks if she can join him..here on.. things will never be the same.
"My age may be thirteen but my heart is one hundred years old.
From this I will never recover. Ever. I just grew up."




But love is never that simple......
Its passionate and raw, heartbreaking and exhausting




Nothing I write can do this story the justice it deserves.
The authors writing is brilliant almost poetic at times.
It is fanfiction. I don't care. The writing says it all. The names Bella and Edward, Dusty and Bliss they are just names it could be anyone.
It reminds me of how painful first love can be.



It must be put into a book..
It must be made into a film...



It has left a mark on me and I want more...

For that reason I am giving it 6 Stars


http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=yo...

[♡ Sasha - TEAM ELLIE. ♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

*** LET ME START OF BY SAYING... WOW... I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT GOODREADS SHOULD UPDATE THEIR SYSTEM AND ALLOW THE BUTTON MORE STARS TO RATE AN AMAZING BOOK... BECAUSE GIVING THIS BOOK ➄✰✰✰✰✰ SIMPLY DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ENOUGH & ALSO NOT FAIR ***

Bella and Edward's story started out innocent... She's the new student at Forks elementary school... soon enough Bella forms an instant friendship with Alice, Edward's little sister... as the years go by Bella and Alice remain best friends... they do everything together... that is until it comes to boys... with Alice finally becoming Jasper's girlfriend that leaves Bella single... she's always had a crush on Edward but never thought anything much of it... But that all changes the day they make rules...

°Rule Number One Is That You Have To
When I'm Around

Their RELATIONSHIP was a SECRET that not even her best friend knew about

And because they where too SCARED and both very SELFISH to tell anyone it remained a secret nobody even had a clue about...

But what started out as a secret that no one wanted to tell... became the biggest issue amongst many...

The party life that Edward didn't want to leave behind grew into a bigger problem... because thru the fun and carefree parties... he got introduced to the scariest SLUT COCAINE...

She was a bigger damp on their RELATIONSHIP than any of the other girls could've caused... always in his thoughts and never TOO FAR...

Victoria... move out the way... There's a new QUEEN SLUT taking the reins...

There LOVE was TOXIC ... mind you no RELATIONSHIP is PERFECT... But this one was DYSFUNCTIONAL and at times even frightening...

Love isn't supposed to be something you struggle with... because....

Love Is Perfect...

Love Is Strong...

Love Is Brave...

Love Is Reassuring...

Love Is Confidence...

Love Is Heaven...

but in true Bella & Edward form...

Love Is Concealed, But It Is Concrete...

Love Is Effortful...

Love Is Spiteful...

Love Is Blind...

Love Is Draining...

Love Is Tempting...

Love Is Relentless...

Love Is Mean...

Love Fucking Hurts...

Love Is Never Saying Goodbye...

Love Is Love's Traitor...

Love Is Two Years Younger, But A Million Times Older...

Love Forgives, But Life Doesn't Forget...

Love Is Illogical At Best...

Despite the pain, heartache, the broken promises, tears, drugs, lies, girls, Garrett, Bella's suffocating parents, and the loneliness of days without eachother...

I loved this story for many reason... the main one being that it was different from what I normally read and it felt authentic... because somewhere out there, there's a REAL Bliss and Dusty struggling with the problems they went thru... Drugs are a big issue that should never be taken lightly... or be disregarded only to avoid confrontations or fights... as well as Lies ... you can only spin enough webs... till you start getting caught up in them... This story brought out so many emotions in me... it was like one moment I hated Edward for his actions...and then I felt sorry and my heart shattered for him... then I went from being mad to it be turned into his signature smirkツ ... because let me just say... this boy is lethal... he knows his stuff... he got SWAG ...and don't let me get started on Bella... this chick... OMFG... I wanted to jump into my kindle and knock some sense into her... because although Edward fucked up... and he did... many many many times... countless... she was his ENABLER... she had so much power over him... But she never stood up to fight the battles worth fighting for... But, then again how much blame can I actually put on these two characters... they where both young and just beginning to learn what the real world was like... I mean seriously... she was sheltered by her over barring parents and Edward's parents where to worried of being actual PARENTS... by setting rules to follow up on... these two broken souls will forever remain with me...


➢➣➤ So If You Haven't READ This Fanfreakintastic BOOK Already... What Are You Waiting For⁇ GO SNAG YOUR FREE copy... NOW!!!!

The book can be found on http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7659651/1...
You can turn it into an ePub or kindle file on the following website:
https://www.flagfic.com/howto

[It's just me Shelly B · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Our love is not perfect. Our love is f*cked up and bleeding, but it's the most precious thing in my entire life. I treat it like shit, but it is what it is, and neither one of us is powerful enough to walk away from it like we should."



This book is about obsession........two people so obsessed with each other that they ruin EVERYthing and EVERYone they come in contact with.



They've been doing it for years and years.......LIES upon LIES......


This book is CRAZY!!!!! CRAZY good....CRAZY bad...CRAZY messed up...CRAZY in love...CRAZY destructive...CRAZY angsty!!!!



FYI........This book is the MOTHER LOAD of ANGST!!!!!



I HATE this book...............but I LOVE it at the same time!!!!!!! I feel like this book and these characters have crawled inside me and now take up residence within me!!!! It's soooooo consuming!!!! It's a Twilight fanfic......it shouldn't be this crazy and consuming....however only the names are the same. NOTHING ELSE!





This book is AMAZING.......this book SUCKS!!!!!!!



I realize that it's confusing but that's how I felt the entire time reading it.........it made me sick at times but I COULDN'T STOP!!!!!!


This book is about RUIN....


How drugs and lies and deceit will ruin you..........eventually. How they corrupt everything in their path of destruction.






This book is about choices.........some people make good choices and others DON'T!!!


I hate this book. I LOVE this book. This is probably one of the best books I've read in a LONG time!!!!! But I hate it....no I love it!!!



1700 pages later and I wish I was still reading it.....I didn't want it to END!!!!!!!!


OMG it's a YouTube video about this book......PERFECT!

http://youtu.be/c-bwfCDh_pw

[MK~ Picky Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptionally, brutally, beautifully realistic!

Love feels like triangles and sunrays.
It feels like a good cry and the best chocolate ever. It’s a tightness in your chest and an extra beat in your heart. Love is completeness---sappiness. Hopelessness.
It’s a feeling
Love is an indescribable, cumbersome, silly-selfish, consuming, life-changing……

Love is in the little girl with the yellow popsicle."

Dusty is a love story that will truly tear your heart apart! It is consuming, devastating and I loved every heartfelt, happy, tragic moment of it!!!

The story begins with Dusty otherwise known as Edward Cullen, a young rule breaking tween/teen that lives dangerously. He holds no regard for authority and is walking a perilous line with smoking, partying, and drugs. As Dusty matures, the partying and the drugs get heavier and more addictive. We watch the slow decent of his relationships and his life because of his addictive tendencies.

Isabella Swan, Bliss for short, is the new girl in town. She is the epitome of perfection: sunshine, pink princess bubbles, cotton candy, and warm summer days. Bliss has always followed the rules. Being the daughter of the chief of police and a straight A student, she appears to be the all American girl. On the outside everything appears as perfect, but lies and deceit begin to taint her well constructed life. Lies and deceit all in the name of love.

“Love at first sight may not apply when you’re nine and eleven, but I feel like I’ve always known she was my purpose in the truest sense of the word. My be-all, end-all."

Bliss and Dusty have an instant connection from the beginning. As they mature into young adults, so does their passion and love for each other. But life has a way of getting complicated; especially when a love like Dusty and Bella’s may not be understood by others. Addiction also plays a prominent role in their story and becomes a character in itself.

This synopsis is just the tip of what you will experience. I cannot even put into words how truly amazing this story was. Very few books have impacted me the way Dusty has.

It’s been five days since I've read it and I still can’t move past this story. I feel as though I’m not the same person after reading it. I want to cry and scream for all their struggles and addictions. My head was in chaos during a good bit. But……for all the angst and sadness there were moments of pure bliss.

What is so great about this story is that you watch these characters grow from the innocence of youth to the gritty, raw dark side of young adulthood. You really get to know them and understand their actions, faults and feelings.

The character development is superb! Alice, Dusty’s sister and Bliss’ best friend, was fantastic. She was skateboard, tomboy cool with a touch of humor. Dusty and Alice’s parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, were also well described. As the reader, you truly understood some of the reasons why Dusty made the choices he did.


Here is my disclaimer. This incredibly, beautiful story is not for everyone. If you’re looking for a light romance with a predictable plot then Dusty is not for you. If you are looking for a one of a kind story that will leave you feeling full of every emotion imaginable then I highly recommend this stunning story.

Just in case you are wondering, this is Fanfiction based on Twilight. However, its as far away as you can get from the original Twilight story. The writing is superb!! I'm hoping the authors would consider publishing this.

This is by far the best book I’ve read all year. I’m not sure if I will ever come across another story like this. Dusty is truly Epic and has made it to my all time favorites list. I give this book 100 Stars!!!

I.Need.More!!!!! Looking forward to the Futuretake I’m hoping it’s soon!!


**************************************************
IT'S HERE!!! THE FUTURE TAKE IS OUT!!!!


Oh Dusty!! Oh how I've missed you!!

Donate to the Leukemia Lympoma society to receive the future take. http://fandom4lls.blogspot.com/

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because love is a lot of things, but above all, love is what we make it. And we'll make this never ending.

When you finish a book that has a little over 1,000 pages and you still want to, need to, have to read more, you know you just read something fucking amazing. There are very few books that have affected me as deeply as Dusty has. It was so good, I am this close to just rereading it instead of starting something new. Dusty left me feeling emotionally beaten up. Completely fucked up. My heart broke into a million little pieces and got stitched right back together within maybe two pages. And this happened throughout the whole thing. The highs were so damn I-feel-so-happy-I-can-die-rightnow high, but the lows were so I-want-to-crawl-in-bed-and-cry-my-heart-out low. Train-wreck is not the right term for this story. Throughout the story, Dusty maintained the perfect balance between heartache/drama and joy/happiness. It was the perfect mix of bad times and good times. I felt so bipolar reading it, because I didn't know whether to feel happy, sad, enraged or elated.

Dusty was completely original and like nothing I have ever read before, but it contained all the elements that I absolutely love in my books.

Right before Chapter One, the authors warn us for what's about to come..

It's going to be consuming, beautiful, and catastrophic. Be ready to see the reality of American youth at its worst.

But yeah, I still wasn't ready for what was to come.

This was the story of a princess and a troublemaker falling in deep, soul-shattering, spirit-breaking, childhood-taking, never-ending love. This was the story of circumstances turning innocent love into crazy love.

Bella (Bliss) and Edward (Dusty) meet when they are nine and eleven.

Love at first sight may not apply when you're nine and eleven, but I feel like I've always known she was my purpose in the truest sense of the word. My be-all, end-all. From the very first moment, all clear sandals and soft curls, all shy smiles in the hallway on her first day, and I sounded like such an idiot when I tried to talk to her, because somewhere inside I knew then. I knew she was incomparable.

Bella is new to Forks and the first girl she meets at school is Alice, Edward's sister. Alice is the complete opposite of Bella, but opposite in the way that they complement each other.

An odd couple and an inseparable duo. That's us.

Soon they become the very best friends and Bella is allowed to have sleepovers at Alice's house. Alice's family adores Bella and Bella feels like another one of their children.

She's the friend my sister needed, the daughter my mom wanted, a child my dad doesn't feel guilty about, and the fucking reason my heart beats.

Bella and Edward's love starts as innocent and sweeter-than-sugar love. Bella is the most adorable kid ever, wearing Mary Jane shoes and cute pink dresses, eating Banana Popsicles and wearing snow boots to make her feel strong. She is princess-pie and Edward is nothing but a troublemaker starting from day one. She knows she should stay away from him, but the pull is too strong to ignore. One night, when Alice is already asleep, Bella finds herself knocking on Edward's bedroom door. And that's that. That's when the train starts moving towards its wreck. That's where their secretive, star-crossed love starts.

I'm burying myself in a bigger hole each time I'm with him, but I can't help myself.

Initially, it's very innocent, but as the years go by and kids turn into teenagers, things start to become more complicated and messy. Real life gets in the way of true love.

Everything just gets more distorted and more difficult the older we get.

Bella's parents are overly protective and keep her sheltered way too much. They have babied her her whole life and kept her innocent and ignorant to the bad things in life. Edward's parents are the complete opposite. They are very lenient and don't give a shit when 13 year old kids get high in their kitchen. Bella uses her sleepovers with Alice to get away from the suffocating hold her parents have on her. However, she was never ready to grow up as fast as she did with Edward. Her relationship with him took away her innocence and turned her into a liar.

I'm the screw-up and she's the liar, and that's fine as long as we're together.

This relationship is straight out dysfunctional, but it's undeniable. It's something neither of them can walk away from. It's inevitable.

Our relationship is so fucked up. I feel like I'm detoriating from the inside out. I can feel myself hardening because of our status. Love is not supposed to be like this, yet, this is all I know and want.

Our love is fucked up and bleeding, but it's the most precious thing in my entire life.

They love too big, but they're both so young and make so many stupid choices. They both screw up and make things go from bad to worse. I honestly didn't know where this was going, because someone or something had to give.

It's like we're constantly pulling a rope; we can never tug at the same time.

We've driven head first into this calamity of fucked-up, and I don't ever see us rising to the surface.

Edward was on a path of self-destruction and he was dragging Bella along with him. His fuck-ups were desperate cries for attention, but not even his parents gave a shit about what he did. He was constantly looking for things to lose himself in. The only good thing in his life was Bella. She was his softer-side, he was her monster. They were star-crossed and impossible, but impossible to ignore all at the same time.

The truth is, I love a boy who can't get his shit together for anything, but without him I can't breathe. Edward is love to me. Something inside me deeper than my blood and stronger than my heart, needs him and has us forever connected.

Apart we are small and weak. We are flawed and selfish. We're limited in our perceptions and abilities, but soul-love is unmeasurable and all-powerful. Together this way, we're perfect and incorruptible.

Even though I spent the first 40% hating Edward, the next 40% hating Bella and the last 20% crying, I loved both of them with all my heart. The characters were only kids trying to grow up too fast. I couldn't really blame them for the decisions they made, because there was no one to guide them. Even though high school wasn't that long ago for me (like three years), reading Dusty made me feel so glad that it was over. It was such a realistic portrayal of today's youth. And let's not forget the roles the parents play in all this. The Sluts, the Boys, Alice, Edward, Bella, all had parents that screwed them up in their own way.

My parents care too much, Victoria's don't care enough, Kim's are afraid to displease her, and Alice and Edward's lead with guilty consciences. We're all completely different and screwed up in our own little ways.

The high school bathroom conversations, gossiping, lying, deceiving, partying, hating, loving, it's all in this book. We meet Bella when she's 9 and the book ends when she's almost 18. Those are the most crucial years of our youth and reading nine years of Bella and Edward's lives left me feeling completely emotionally drained and begging for more. It's somewhere around 1,000 pages but so worth it and still not enough. I haven't wanted to read anything else since finishing.

I start and end with Bliss.

Everything Changes

---
To get Dusty, follow the instructions in the first comment of this thread

[Mistress · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love is draining, skeptical, relentless, tempting, concealed but it is concrete, effortful, strong, unending, sweet-everything and permanently-bound, never saying goodbye, forgiving and unconditional, mean, hurts, relentless, corrupt, reassuring, brave, perfect, forgives but doesn't forget, love is what we make it, love is loving you with my whole heart."

"Love is a blissful wonder."

"Love takes effort, and I love him more than I did yesterday."

"Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free."

There are not enough stars for this epic book. I am in complete awe. I don't know how to even write this review. Words are just not adequate enough to express how much this book moved me. I feel like I grew up with Edward, Bella, Alice, the boys, and the sluts. I'm in tears just thinking about it, trying to write this. I went through so many emotions so many times, I honestly didn't think my heart would make it at certain points. This book was filled with gut-wrenching, addictive, all-consuming love. Love that knew no bounds and would go through anything and anyone in it's way. Dusty is a story about addiction and what being addicted can do to you and the ones you love, whether it is drug addiction or an obsessive-love addiction. This book is tragic and compelling, truly heart-wrenching. Everyone should read, feel, dwell, live, breathe this book. I will never be the same after reading love's tale. How could I possibly go back to reading cookie-cutter books after this epicness? I plead with you, for your own sake, READ THIS BOOK!

"My parents call me Bliss because it's my middle name. I'm kind of a miracle. My mom says it's because I was a blissful wonder." He smiles slightly before sticking his hands in his pockets. "She was right."

"I'll always want you, baby," he whispers, coming to me, brushing his nose along my jaw. He takes my hand presses my palm against the pulse point in his neck. "Do you feel that? Do you feel how fast it beats? You make my f*cking heart flutter, princess."

"I f*cking require her."

"Your heart makes my favorite sound," he tells me so quietly, "in the whole world. Your heartbeat calms me."

"His hand around mine feels magnetic. I'd follow him anywhere."

"She held my eyes and all my love. My life. Baby holds everything."

"Pulling away from her is like slow motion shredding."

"Love burns just like fire: inescapably, and inevitably. Our half-heart carrying bodies are its natural habitat, and unity that devours is its proper fate. We are nothing if not grateful, devoted and wholly impassioned kindling."

"When we go down, we'll go together."

"We're both broken, busted and scarred, but my heart beats for him. He's my life. He has been since I was a little girl. He's it for me. The beginning. The end."

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j9Furrb3CI0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YOkHu...



"Smiling, I say, "Edward, tell me a secret." He says, "I love you.""

Dusty is being published as Dusty Innocents July 14, 2014.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m going 4.5 with a no doubt about which was to swing the stars. I thought the length was a tad long and affected part of my enjoyment 3/4 of the way through being 1140 kindle pages in length. That said by the end of the book I could have eaten another 100 pages about these two and their friends easily!

I usually don’t like giving up more than the blurb but the blurb really tells you nothing about the story but I have to give you something so here I go. I’d like to say this is the story of Edward and Bella but that really wouldn’t be right. For one, there are many characters that have prominent roles in the story which is more of a journey than a story. We meet Bella, Alice and Edward when they are in the 5th grade where they start their journey to becoming lifelong friends. Alice is a skateboard queen who meets Bella the girly girl and this odd couple becomes inseparable starting in the 5th grade. Edward is Alice’s sister a couple years older and is the typical bad-boy even at the young age. Edward and Alice’s parents kind of let the kids rule the roost and Bella’s parents are just the opposite being very overly protective.(At least in the book its written that way. Being a parent of two girls I didn’t find a problem with their thinking most of the time…haha) Edward’s trip down the road of drugs starts to tear apart relationships as he self-destructs. Will his love for Bella be enough to pull him out of his addictions??

Okay well I hope I didn’t give away too much but hope it’s enough to make you think about checking out this book. This is fanfiction but I’m really not sure why they call it that. This is my second fanfiction and from what I hear it is nothing like Twilight. I know one thing. This author def should have self-published this or something because the writing was really great and brought out a ton of emotions. How to go about describing my feelings for this book??? Let me say there is a ton of character development to the point that halfway through this book you are feeling everything they are going through to the bone. They start out in the 5th grade and after 3 hours of reading they were in the 6th grade…haha Just to give you an idea of the journey. The only character that I can easily describe my feelings for is Alice. At first I thought her in your face character might be too strong and get annoying but I LOVED Alice from start to finish. She made it possible to get through the emotional turmoil that went on in this book. She’s a great friend and even though she is not the girly girl her mom might have wanted she was not bad kid to her parents. Bella was the cutest little kid and her and Alice’s friendship was the glue that held this book together for me. Because this story evolves at such a young age there are so many things that Bella does that makes you want to strangle her but her initial innocence and then her dependence later on made her screw ups believable. You ladies that like to swoon over bad boys will love Edward. For me most of the book he was just maddening but there were times that even I liked his character. He is self-destructive but he is also very protective of those he loves. Of course he only needs one hand to count the people that end up on that list. I loved all the secondary characters in the book. Even the SLUTS! I wasn’t swooning over them but I loved the depth of their characters if you looked for it and I loved the role they played in the book. I think there could be many books written about the secondary characters in this book.

Again this is not a story it is a journey. It’s a journey that takes you from the innocence of grade school into the world of high school where all your problems seem like they are magnified. It is a story of firsts and lasts and of how love can create as much as it can destroy. Believe it or not this is the cliff notes version of how I felt about this book.

[Shannon The Co-Captain · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars......and counting

A book like this is the hardest to write a review for. As persuasive as I can be I could never come up with words to convey how much you should really read this book. I'm not poetic enough to describe the beauty of the writing and most importantly (I'm actually crying right now) there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the way this book made me feel. I would feel like a bad person to not say something about it though... To at least try.

This book is about firsts. It's about that bond you share with your first best girlfriend. It's about that first car. That first kiss. That first time. That first high. It's about that first love that makes you crazy.

I've never felt more connected to a coming of age story. It mirrored my own in so many ways yet nothing about it felt contrived or clichéd. I don't think that first true love at a young age can ever be duplicated and I'm amazed at how well it's translated in this book. I have a husband I love more than life and we have a love that's deep and stable and all sorts of wonderful things: but, it's nothing like that first love at 13,14,15,16. I think what I have now is better and wiser and safer and most of all more stable but it's not that crazy love that can feel so good and take you so high one minute and then inflict so much pain and bring you crashing down the next. It's not the kind of love that's like a drug...that's addictive...that's just not good for you. I would never trade my not so innocent youth and all the experiences I had, it's what molded me into who I am today.

When it comes to a not so innocent youth and all the firsts that come along with that; this book has no equal.

*NOTE: The crying is significant because I never cry.
It's a rule <--and that's a reference.

Also, it took me so long to read this because I have major commitment issues with my reading plan and stopped twice to read distractions. However, you can scroll through my status updates and see where those breaks were early on in the story and once I really got rolling...it read quickly considering the length. It never drags. It flows.


Dusty


Baby Bliss


Alice

[Karla · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars**

Re Read October 2023

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 .....rip my heart out and stamp on the pieces..... but leave me with hope stars......

I've put off reading this story for such a long time, mainly because of the reviews I'd seen of total and utter heart break and devastation....and who needs that when they get in to bed and pick up a book right? Well, that was until a lovely pervy friend of mine and a very kinky mistress convinced me I just had to go for it....and so I did. And now Im left wondering how the hell I review something that pulled me so completely and utterly apart.

This is simply the story of Edward and Bliss. They meet when Bella is just nine years old and from the very first meeting you know that rightly or wrongly they are simply meant to be. It's a coming of age story that is so much more than heart break and tears and laughter and joy. It's every emotion you could ever have. It's young love at it's most innocent and old love at it's most ugly.

Don't get me wrong it wasn't a perfect read, but then again love never is perfect so why should this book be. It was bloody long....like seriously long.... Like every part of their lives was discussed at great details and every emotion was laid bare long....there were times that I have to admit I skim read.......But then I got to the end and I wanted it to be longer?? And then there were some bloody awful and damn right 'piss me the hell off' character decisions.... that made absolutely no sense in any logical world.....but then again love nor life is really ever that logical....so in the end I understood them all....even the ending.

Despite my constant desire to scream at my iPad, despite the overly angsty chapters and the many many many times I wanted to scream obscenities at the characters, I find that I have no choice but to give this amazing book a well deserved 4 stars. Because despite my reservations this book overwhelmed me, the authors words grabbed me, it read like poetry and I simply could not put it down. I lived this story with them, I cried with them and for them, my heart broke when there's did and I screamed ugly tears when they did. It quite simply was an emotional roller coaster, but a roller coaster that I had no desire to get off.



The characters drew me in, each and every one of them, and despite some bloody stupid decision making I grew to love them all, and I grew to realise that; yes they made some awful decisions and they were indecisive as hell but actually they were teenagers and thats what being a teenager is all about...they were simply finding their way in the world, they were growing up.



Before reading dusty I read many readers reviews and one still stands out clearly in my mind! This reviewer said that Dusty was not a love story....it's full of cheating, sadness, angst, tears, drugs, fights....and yes this reviewer is right in so many ways....and yet fundamentally wrong in just one. This story is full of cheating, sadness, angst and tears.....but it most certainly IS a love story,. Maybe not a love that everyone can relate to, maybe not a love that everyone would want to relate to. It's a love story at its most innocent and beautiful, and a love story at its most ugly and raw.


Quite simply this is a must read book by authors who can do so much more than just put a few word together on a page. They have such immense creativity that they have taken a simple and much loved story about a girl falling in love with a boy and turned it on its head, into what is an epic, compelling, unmissable love story in all it's ugly glory.

[Angie **loves angst** · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I think about how we’re too little, too young, too clumsy and messed up for this love, and I know it doesn't matter. Giving this up isn't anywhere even near the realm of possible. He’s in my soul, and I’m in his. I have no idea what souls are made of, but his and mine are the same.”

Boy meets girl. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Sounds simple right? Well there's nothing simple about this book. Its heartache in the form of words. Its staying up all night reading when I should be sleeping. Its not being able to put this book down when I should be getting ready for work. Its crying for twenty minutes after I read the last word of it. I never quite know how to prepare myself for a book like this. My Goodreads friends know angsty reads are my favorite, but this hit me like a wrecking ball. I read somewhere that "pain demands to be felt" well this book demands to be felt. Each word, on every page ingrains itself so deeply into your psyche that before you know it, you're immersed in Bella and Edward's story. The blurb gives very little of the plot of this book away, and I will do the same in my review. If you're looking for plot details there's very little here. If you're looking for a review written high off emotions at 4:00 am then you can keep reading :)



This is the type of book you read with a constant hole in your stomach, waiting for the destruction that is sure to come. It is painful, poetic, raw, real, and unforgettable. Its about friendships, familial relationships, young love, and forever pain. It chronicles a journey from childhood to adulthood, from innocence to the destruction of innocence. Dusty is unlike any book I've read before. I feel as if the author basically said "f*ck your emotions, I will destroy them."



Two things made me apprehensive about reading this: 1. It is very lengthy. Yea, its super long, but its also super incredible. 2. I'm not a Twilight fan, and I mistakenly thought this would be filled with cheesy lines and silly blushes since it is Twilight fanfiction. Rest assured this is NOTHING like Twilight. This is the real version of Bella and Edward's story.

"This is a crazy love."

What if you found the love of your life and you had to share that person with an enemy that you couldn't conquer? She has him tied up, tangled, and wrapped in her web of false promises and temporary bliss. She's a slut, a bitch, and completely destructive, but your love just won't let her go. He constantly chooses her over you.

Edward

“She's my softer-side, and I'm her motherf*cking monster.”

He's a self proclaimed monster, but the deeper, darker, more powerful monster lives within him. It controls him. Every scene in Edward's POV was intense anguish. I wanted so badly to comfort and just help him.

Bella

“I feel so safe when I'm with him, I know he would protect me with his life, from anyone and anything, but he can't he doesn't protect me from himself".”

This poor girl went through so much, and I felt like I was right there with her witnessing it firsthand. There were times I wanted to smack her, but I had to remind myself she is only a teen. Bella was not prepared and unable to handle the emotional damage that comes from loving a guy like Edward.

Love
Bella and Edward's love is:

Consuming
Addictive
Destroying
Obsessive
Star-crossed
Forbidden

This book brought to mind so many questions:
How can you love someone so much but no matter what you do you only hurt them?
How can you love someone so much yet cause them nothing but distress?

“Love is an indescribable, cumbersome, silly-selfish, consuming, life-changing, goosebump-making, knowing-all-the-words-to-the-song exciting, I-can't-think-straight-without-him overwhelming, sigh-swooning, laugh-out-loud-for-no-reason anxious, fun, rule-causing, jealousy-inducing, leg-kicking, dream-giving, wonderful, filling, shake-trembling, wonder-where-you-are-always obsessive, necessary, requiring, joyful-flow.”

The words flowed smoothly like water on the pages. Reading this is a crazy, painful ride. I was swept up, immersed, and drenched in the lives of these characters. It had a slow start, but once it picked up, I didn't want to stop reading.
This book caused me to relive parts of my teenage years. Those years when I did crazy shit, things I won't tell my nieces, and things I hope they never do.

High on angst, full of emotion, and unforgettable, this book has earned a spot in my favorite books of all time list.

What did I get from reading this? Well to put it simply sometimes love is not enough, sometimes we as ourselves are not enough.

"Love did this. Love made us this way."

Rating: 5 Unforgettable Stars

Thank you Shannon for recommending this, and for putting up with my innumerable messages. This is a story that will not be forgotten.

[Zizz · Rating 5 out of 5]

POWERFUL. GUT-WRENCHING. HEARTBREAKING. OVERWHELMING. THIS EASILY TAKES A SPOT IN MY TOP SHELF.

This came across my GR feed recently. With RPattz on its cover and with a Twilight fanfic tag, I didn't even bother marking this as "want-to-read". But days later, with a massive Thief-induced book funk, a friend mentioned reading this and that it was "so good." I so needed "so good" to help get Thief out of my mind. But this turned out to be more than the cure I needed. This one just blew me away.

I am sort of ashamed to say this was beyond amazing because this is fanfiction with characters named Edward (Dusty) and Bella (Isabella Bliss) and you know the rest of the clan. I should even be more embarrassed to say that this may possibly be comparable or (dare I say it) even better than Thief which is such a big deal considering I've obsessed over that series for close to a year.

Like most Twilight fanfics, this bears very little resemblance to Stephenie Meyer's book. But in this interview, the authors tell you exactly how this was influenced by that. http://ficcentral.com/2012/09/spotlig...

YellowGlue: "I’ve always been interested in, and curious and passionate about, the idea of soul mates. What I loved most about Twilight was the whole singer thing. I feel like Meyer didn’t know what she had in that, how monumental that was and could have been. The idea that one person can be and is specifically made for one other person in every way – to hear, to obsess over, to adore, to love and to have…to protect and at the same time, to consume completely – that is amazing...."

This story is a slow-burn. The story begins when she is 9 and he is 11. It starts out cute and light, establishing history. It's the simple things childhoods are made of. First day of school. Banana popsicles. Skateboards. Hide and seek games. 4th of July sparklers. The whole illicit affair only starts when she is 13 and he is an experienced, unregulated, on-the-brink-of-losing-control 15yo. She is the princess and he is the troublemaker. The young age is not for shock value but to drive the point of how forbidden this love affair is. Bliss is the chief of police's daughter. Her parents are controlling and regulating. Edward is raised by liberal parents who tolerate drinking and smoking joints within the confines of their house. Bliss is Edward's younger sister's best friend. It starts out innocently. Cute rules. Reese's Pieces. Stolen moments while the rest of the Cullens sleep during Bella's frequent sleepovers eventually escalate to late night kissing, cuddling and a lot more.

The story is told in a writing style that is so lyrical and beautiful. Some will probably find it wordy. But I appreciate this style and It felt like reading a masterpiece. It was almost poetic. If you appreciate the literary styles of Gayle Forman, Stephanie Campbell, Kate McGarry (and even Tarryn Fisher and Tammara Webber) then you know what I am talking about.

Every thing, every scene, every event is a reference to love and all its varying facets.

"Love.

Fucking love.

Love feels like tingles and sun-rays.

It feels like a good cry and the best chocolate ever. It's a tightness in your chest and an extra beat of your heart. Love is completeness - sappiness. Hopelessness."

"Love is all that other stuff, but love is also heart-ripping, reality-checking, mad-like-crazy, hurt-like-impossible, throat-clenching, eye-burning, soul-taking, mean, torturous, spiteful, conditional - so, so conditional.."

Edward and Bliss' love is a lot of things. But its most definitive feature is that their love is concealed. Secret-keeping. Late-night-sneaking. Eventually or maybe it was fated that their love morphs into something all-consuming and soul-deep.

"Love at first sight may not apply when you're nine and eleven, but I feel like I've always known she was my purpose in the truest sense of the word. My be-all, end-all...I knew before she climbed in, that she was the reason I was born and breathed and grew. I knew that whatever connected us was powerful and permanent, and impossible to contend with..."

But secrets make liars. Innocence is easily lost. All consuming becomes addictive. It turns into love at its most toxic. It is love that is so wrong. So dysfunctional. So f*cked up.

"Loving Edward is being always high-risk and misinformed. It's returning love despite knowing better, because I cannot love without him.

Love is skewed and canted. Love is obsessive and abusive and not any good, but it's mine."

Edward is experienced to Bliss' innocence. He is damaged and broken by an unhappy childhood he can't forget despite things seeming so much better nowadays. He is self-destructive. His love is selfish and treacherous. It betrays and slices her open constantly. It is repeatedly disloyal. In his own words, "he doesn't live for her but lives off her." But Bliss is too weak. Her love is an enabler. She accepts every lie. Every hurt. She is too quick to forgive every single time she is chosen over. Every single time she is betrayed.

In the first half of the book, Bliss competes with Edward's meaningless sex with others while high as a kite, his lies and his bad habits. He takes what he gets from other girls, unwilling to defile sweet, innocent and much-too-young Bliss. In the second half of the story, it only gets worse. "Love is battling cocaine for love's attention." Bliss easily triggers several of Edward's meltdowns. But she is in too deep, too weak, accepting and undemanding even as his addiction spirals out of control. The consequences are grave. Eventually it is love laid to waste.

This has be to the most torturous and heartbreaking read I ever had to endure. The angst level in this book feels like hell. It's constant heartache.

It's a train wreck of a love affair but it is so beautifully tragic that you can't step away. He is so wrong for her. But they are so right together. If you're looking for mere entertainment for a few hours, skip this. But if you're looking for that read that is so haunting and devastating but so brilliant, powerful and beautifully written that you will linger on it for days/weeks and possibly longer, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS.

[♥︎♥︎Sofia♥︎♥︎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

About 7 months ago I entered the Twilight zone, it's funny that I can legitimately call it that; where writers take the work of Stephanie Myers and create alternatives to her well documented Twilight Saga, a zone commonly called Twilight Fan Fiction (Twific). Not being, at all, a big fan of the books (the writing is mediocre at best) I was surprised just how much I enjoyed playing around in this new fiction genre. Very early on in my discovery I was pointed to fanfiction.net as being the most common source to these new stories and I join the site not knowing what to expect. What no one told me was just how addictive these stories can become. To paraphrase a well know Twilight quote; Twifics have become my own personal brand of heroin, and Fanfiction.net is my dealer.

One of the first stories this dealer supplied me with was Dusty. A newbie to the game I knew none of the rules or the terminology and let me tell you, knowing the terminology is important! I'd never heard of a WIP (work in progress) so I started reading this unfinished tale of teenage woe, of children growing too fast and too harshly, of the disassociation between what adults think they know and what they actually do. And the all-compassing,unrelentingly, harsh, destructive, love of Isabella Bliss and Edward Antony "Dusty". "When I was nine years old, my purpose introduced himself, and I have spent nearly every moment since trying my absolute hardest to let him kill me." These two meet as children on the first day of school and readers are seduced into the innocence of childhood "A boy? Oh, you mean Edward? He isn't a boy, he's a brother." when everything is bright and uncomplicated and life is one big sparkle with no need to worry about the amount of trans fats consumed. Through the blush of firsts; sleep-overs, parties, curiosities, love, to the horror that is drug addiction, under-age sex and 21st century parenting; you step onto a roller-coaster of a ride which will grip you, toss you, chew you up and spit you out.

There will be times when you want to punch someone, hard; preferably, either one of the two central characters, I can't tell you the amount of times I had to put my iPad down and just "walk it off". There will be times when you laugh so hard you snort behind your hand (and do a little dance, though that might just be me). Other times this story hurts so much you put your iPad down simply because you can't see through the tears. Dusty is a game changer (for me anyway) there is no way that you will read this story and return back to Twifics the same..It kicks the living daylights out of almost every other Twific that I have ever read and probably has ever been written and once consumed I doubt you will ever, ever forget these characters, mostly flawed, all trying and every kind of wonderful.

I think I wrote in a couple of my other reviews that YellowGlue and TeamBella23 (YellowBella)are two of my favourite writers and that I was waiting with bated breath for this story to be completed; well it took 7 month from when I started reading this WIP,(though a year from when they first started writing) and every single week I would rage (on a twific forum. Me?! On a twific forum?! It's *shakes head* crazy!) about the lack of end game momentum. Now I can hand on my heart say, it was worth every single hour of those 7 months to finally get my hands on the completed fiction. And that YellowGlue and TeamBella23 are two of the best writers I have ever come across and I edit writers for a living so..This is one that every fan of the Twific genre should read.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our love is not perfect. Our love is fucked up and bleeding, but it's the most precious thing in my entire life.

I'm speechless and stunned. By the reviews I've read, I knew that this would be good. But shit, it was amazing! I enjoyed every single second I got to spend with Dusty and Bliss. This truly is a masterpiece and sush a powerful read. From the innocents of banana popsticles and first loves and endless summers to hurt and pain in adulthood, and her..
Bliss and Dusty are one the same, carved from the same tree house.

I feel small compared to the force of our love, like it could swallow me whole.

Maybe we're both too little for this love. Maybe we're both too young, too clumsy for it. Maybe neither one of us know how to hold this love yet.

But they were never supposed to love eachother. At least not yet. They were both too little, too fucked up, too messed up for their love, for their anything, for their addiction to eachother. They both knew that, but neither were strong enough to walk away, to be without the other.
They needed eachother to breath, to survive. But they were too young. They couldn't handle it. They wanted to, so bad. But every decision they made hurt the other. Their love was the real enemy.
And their greatest masterpiece.
And I can't believe how not meant to be they were.

He smiles my favorite smile and watches my eyes. "Of course I love you, Bliss." I feel my lip and my eyelids both open a little bit wider. His voice is soft and kind, but he's really asking: "Don't you love me?"

I'm thankful for you, Bliss. I miss you. You should be here next to me.

I wanted to hate Dusty. I truly did. He used Bliss in the worst way, just like he used her.
But he couldnt help himself. His love for both of them were to great. But they both cancelled the other out in the end. His love for Bliss was bigger then anything, was anything.
And he couldn't handle it. And in the end I couldn't hate him. It was impossible. Not after having to known him as a innocemt little boy, to a grumpy teenager, to a completely messed up graduate.

"Did you get my voice mails?" He asks, shuffling like he's getting out of bed. "Yes." "Ignore the bad ones, but pay extra attention to the ones where I say I love you and I need you and I want you and please stop breaking my heart."

But they both were to blame. Bliss could have handled things so differently, everything could have been so much different. But when he moved, she moved. And he moved wrong, more often then not.
Neither is to blame.

I hate her more than anything else. She's the other girl, his bitch on the side … she's the lipstick on his collar. And she makes him so fucking unpredictable.

But their love was epic.
It was pure
It was so meant to be
It was so not meant to be
It was poison
It was heaven and
It was hell
"We're going to die like this, you know?" I say with a smirk, happy to die miserable and old as long as it's with her. And it will be. There is no future without baby.

It was not being able to breathe without the other
It was sleepless nights and red eyes from crying

"Let me show you how loved you are," Edward whispers, burning me up. "I'll love you with everything I have every single day."

It was eggs on the sunny side up and freckles on the nose
It was giving away a belly buttom
It was rules

"I want to take you to the beach and kiss you all night. I want to kiss you forever, Bliss."

But they were just two couple of stupid teenagers
Crazy in love
A love that is permantent
A love that can't be ignored
A love that will never dissapear
They belong to eachother, forever
Doesn't mean they are meant to be together
Or should be together
Not now.

Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, B? How perfect in every way?" He whispers, touching his lips to my cheek.

This was a long read, over 1000 pages. And I loved if. The best and most powerful reads always are. And this is one of the very best reads of my life, all categories. But in the end. I still needed and wanted so much more.
I can already feel it. How much I will miss Dusty. He is completely fucked up, and he might make all bad desicions. He is a screw up and a trouble maker. But I still love him with all my heart.

I'm no good for her. I'm all wrong. But we're right.

And maybe she was the biggest enemy after all
His love and craving for her.

And the ending tore me apart, for different reasons.
But it still felt like the right one.

"Love is battling cocaine for love's attention".

"Love is supposed to be loyal. Love is always supposed to answer. But Love is love's traitor"

My thoughts about the fact that it's getting published.
I couldn't be more happy. Dusty and Bliss's epic love is something I want everyone to read/experience. This is truly one of the most powerful books I have ever read. It's been a while now since I finished this, but it's impossible to let Dusty go. I have heard that this is gonna be divided into two parts, and I'm alright with that, as long as the author's don't shorten either parts. I love how long it is.

So do yorself a favor and read this,
Dusty will crawl into your heart
and stay there forever.

[Sleepy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What the FUCK!! Ok there is a second book right!!??????!! I mean a conclusion. I'm at a loss. ....I can't even put into words how this book affected me. ... a bumpy roller coaster of emotions!!

Full review to come when I can process this amazing fucking awesome piece is work!!

This book was an emotional read. It hurt me, healed me, broke me down but still tried to put me back together in the end.
I cant rate this any less than 10 stars and that still isnt enough.
Now this review is going to be just that, just my emotions, usually i go through the story and talk about the situations. But this time i think im going to focus on the fucked up, heartbreaking, raw and troublesome emotions i felt through this ride.

This book consumed me, i mean it had complete control over me.

DUSTY WAS MY ADDICTION!

I WAS Bella, I felt myself break apart through all the bullshit Dusty had put her through. My heart ached for Dusty but it bled with Bella.
I was thrown into this book not knowing much except that it was fanfic which honestly i had no idea what that meant. and that it had nothing but 5 star ratings. a friend was raving about this book so i was basically sold!

This book... no not book this journey started when these two souls were kids. but even then they knew they were meant to be. She was 9 and he was 2 yrs older than her. Im not going to lie the beginning was a little slow for me, maybe because they were just kids and i didnt realize it was going to start out so young and slowly carry on through out each year. But im so glad it did, otherwise it wouldnt have been so deep. I wouldnt have gotten so emotionally involved and it wouldnt have meant as much to me.

Bella made best friends with Alice who is Edwards sister. she loved her like banana popsicles, but nothing was going to keep her from Edward.
Ben and Pete are Edwards best friends and over the years became brothers to Bella. They watched out for her and Alice. Garret and Jasper were really good friends with Alice and Bella, they werent really liked by Edward, Ben or Petey, for various reasons.

Bella couldn't sleep one night so while Alice was sleeping she walked to Edwards door and lightly tapped and from that moment on nothing about there "friendship" would be the same.
At times i wanted to shake her, tell her wake the fuck up. Look at how he's broken you. He's hurting you and making you feel like your not enough. And once shes with him i realize why she just keeps allowing it, this boy has her heart not just a part of it, he has her entire heart and she has no control, she has no choice, Edward is her only choice.
This was a powerful book,

"BLISS KNOWS I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH HER. OUR LOVE IS NOT PERFECT. OUR LOVE IS FUCKED UP AND BLEEDING, BUT ITS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I TREAT IT LIKE SHIT, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, AND NEITHER ONE OF US IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY FROM IT LIKE WE SHOULD."-dusty

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER: I WOULD CRY AND SCREAM, AND HE WOULD APOLOGIZE, AND IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN."
"THAT PART OF ME THAT DIED, SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN LIKE THAT. SHE LIVED WITH HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, IN A WORLD WHERE LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL. WHERE LOVE IS STILL MADE OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY AND FIREFLIES AND SPARKLES. WHERE LOVE DOES NOT PULL WINGS OFF OF BUTTERFLIES."
FUCKING IDIOTS-bella

There love is hard its complicated, it hurts and aches. It pulls you under and drowns you. It suffocates you and rarely lets you up for air. The pain that they both put themselves through was hard, it hurt me. I know ive said this is another review for another book but i dont think any book has affected me quite like this one. This one i held myself from balling more than a few times, i mean the writing style u have no choice but to FEEL everything these people were going through. I cant say enough about the way this book was written. I dont think anyone can argue that. The times they were truly happy when it was just the two of them it was amazing, it was BLISSfull. I felt there joy there true inner peace but once the world intervened there bubble popped and nothing was as simple as coke floats and reeses pieces. The suffering Bella's heart went through was tough to read, it was one of those times it was hard to keep myself together.
Bottom line everyone should read this emotional, raw, rough story of what LOVE can do to people. Real, tough, hard, soul shattering LOVE.
LOVE is hard, LOVE hurts, its cold and malicious. LOVE is a hypocrite, and its demanding. LOVE is forgiving, its patient. It lies and aches. Its deep and all consuming. LOVE is true.

LOVE IS BATTLING COCAINE FOR LOVE'S ATTENTION.

SHES CREATED A TRIO OUT OF OUR DUO, AND I HATE HER. I HATE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. SHE'S THE OTHER GIRL, HIS BITCH ON THE SIDE...SHE'S THE LIPSTICK ON HIS COLLAR. AND SHE MAKES HIM SO FUCKING UNPREDICTABLE.

[Serena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holly crap this was one of my favorite books!
Review to come! When I figure out how to put into words these emotions!

Ok after a while later. I have come to terms that I will never be able to write a review that would do this book justice.

All I can say is DO NOT let how long this book is judge you to not read. It you will not regret every word on every page. After you have read the 1000+ pages you will still be eager for more.

Love is loving this book weeks after you read it.
Love is wanting more of the book while you are reading other books.

[A. Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can not put into words how much I loved this story! BLOWN AWAY! I am not a fanfiction reader, in fact I've been living under a rock where it was concerned. Emotional, consuming, AMAZING!!!!

[Searock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story blew my ever-loving mind.

This kind of surprising, emotionally epic story only comes around once in a great while (or for me, as a Twilight fan, and bringing all the resonance of that experience to the reading chair with me, maybe just once, ever). Beyond the themes of young love, true love, etc., which are favorites for me and gorgeously depicted here, there is an important secondary narrative about the subtle and ultimately devastating dynamics of addiction. Yet this story never felt like a rant against drug use so much as an ugly-beautiful portrayal of soul mates who succumb to the cunning, baffling and powerful forces of substance abuse. It's both cautionary tale and coming of age story.

This gigantic read (about 1700 pages claims one reader- I guessed around 900 pages) is the combined effort of two authors who describe themselves as "the realist" and "the poet". I've read each writer's work previously and found them enjoyable on their own, but together the hybrid work is extraordinary. They have a symmetry and balance that I adored and honestly felt I could read on and on forever. What this writing team is not however, is streamlined. It's not an efficient combination. The result is a revelry-near-to-wallowing in the angst and bliss of young, true love and a lush celebration of its joys and agonies. In no way am I saying the writing was scattered or superfluous, but I felt it languished a bit toward the end when things were at their most dramatic and I was most desperate for some resolution or perhaps a wee bit of redemption... or any freaking sort of comfort. Whenever it began to come together, things just got weird again(like the highs and lows and instability of addiction, I suppose) and so on for awhile. I felt overwrought and exhausted at one point (it was basically the denouement from hell), but it was all angsty, rich, syrupy goodness and any proper Twihard should consider it a must read.

However, readers really need to be prepared for the dissatisfaction that comes with any potential direction the story might go. You want characters to just pull it together and stop the madness, but there's no way to do that. Its impossible to figure out who the good guys are or who the bad guys are... impossible. Nothing here is easy, but if you are into that sort of effery (oooh, ooh, that's me!), its absolutely marvelous and worth every moment.

Some readers may feel the passion between Edward (Dusty) and Bella (Bliss) is too unrealistic or unhealthy to root for them and that's okay. Some may feel that the substance abuse or handling of the addiction storyline is unhealthy too, but that's okay, addiction is unhealthy and its not possible to simply confront it successfully. It is a wily and uncontrollable thing. All involved are powerless over the addiction, that's just a fact. Everyone involved is either a little bit sick too or becomes a little sick eventually so there's no right answer.

The truth is, I recognized and related to all the thoughts, feelings and behaviors in these characters, so I found it to be refreshingly complex and gorgeously brave even though it was untidy, unconventional and uncomfortable.

Dang, I could go on and on.

This reminds me of books like How to Kill a Rock Star, if for no other reason than it goes its own way and makes no apologies and that some of its unappealing characters are wonderful.

[Glass · Rating 5 out of 5]

[Ashleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love it when you go into a book not expecting much and it turns out amazing!! this book if a fan-fiction based on twilight but based really on the names are used. I just realled enjoyed it and recommend everyone to give it a try. The ending though holy shit I need a epilogue or another book please!!!

[Michelle [Helen Geek] · Rating 5 out of 5]

08/27/2013 –-

Overall Rating = 5 Stars I wish the GR system allowed for more!!
Book Cover / Book Blurb / Book Title = 5 / 3 / 5 = 5 Stars
Writer’s Voice = ∞ Stars [symbol for infinity]
Character Development = 5 Stars
Story Appreciation = ∞ Stars [symbol for infinity]
Worth the Chili = 5 Stars – [fanfiction url: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7659651/1...]

** If anyone knows where I can find more by this amazing writing team, please let me know. **

I don’t even know where to start. I’m probably the only person left on the planet who has not read Twilight. Maybe I will someday. I’ve only briefly visited the fanfic website. I just never was that interested. I saw a few of my friends just blown away by this story and was really interested. I’m so glad I did … so very glad. I won’t go into all the personal stuff, but this story touched me like no other since I read "Go Ask Alice" as a pre-teen [http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46...].

P * E * R * F * E *C * T

A* N * D

A * M * A * Z * I * N * G

I don’t know who YellowBella is, or rather who they are, but they have the most wonderful, most poetic, most profoundly touching and disturbing way with words. Like they reinvented the human language. I could read them forever -- simply the very best I’ve ever read. This story was over 1000 pages and I was enthralled. I couldn’t put it down and when I did, I couldn’t get back fast enough. I loved these people. I ached for them. I cried for them. I wanted to help them. From the bottom of my heart I wanted to tell them how this should end. I’ve lived some of this and the pain they capture is spot on. It can happen. Believe it.

If I were to offer any negative comment, it would be the age of Edward and Bella when this story started and ended. But, as you get into it, you understand, only through complete innocence could this story take place. It requires it to work. It is the absolute root of this story. Their innocence is a character within this story. In the end, there is a total loss of innocence; for the characters and for the reader.

For me, the very best thing about this story is the truth. It isn’t pretty. It is raw and exciting, it is devastating and painful. It is real and naïve. This is a very real picture of how far you can fall. How much you can love and be loved. How painful love can be. How much you are willing to sacrifice for this other half of your soul. ESPECIALLY when you know nothing else. You’ve lost your innocence loving this person. Your heart can’t beat without him. Without her. These authors tell the truth and give you great characters and absolute perfection in prose to drowned in. As vicious as the thickest sunshine.

Hope is my last thought on this one. They left me with hope. I can write my own ending for these two. So, for me, they will always be together and will grow their love to the sun, stars, moon and back.

Personal Note: Anyone who has never suffered a drug addiction or has never loved someone who has a drug addiction may read this story and find it impossible; unbelievable. It isn’t. It happens just as it did for Dusty. I call it arrogance. IT is something that happened once. IT happens again because you escaped the first time and IT was fun and dangerous. Then, IT becomes something you can do on a weekend, then every weekend for a month and then … IT GOT YOU. This MONSTER has you in ITs’ TEETH and won’t turn you lose. To get lose you have to bargain and bribe with IT. You may just crawl your way away from IT. Maybe … or not. God help you. That poor, poor boy.


I want to read this again, but need time for my emotions to recover.

This is a story I was very happy, grateful, I got to experience. Stories like these are why this website is KILLER! Without you, I would have never known; all my GR friends.

Happy Reading!

[★¸. • * ° * ༺*Blanka*༺*°°*•.¸. ♥★ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Love at first sight may not apply when you're nine and eleven, but I feel like I've always known she was my purpose in the truest sense of the word. My be-all, end-all. From the very first moment, all clear sandals and soft curls, all shy smiles in the hallway on her first day, and I sounded like such an idiot when I tried to talk to her, because somewhere inside I knew then. I knew she was incomparable.”


She loves him. He loves her crazy.
She's a hopeless romantic. He's just hopeless.
She's afraid to let go. He won't let her.
A story about a silly girl in love with a foolish boy.
Here, forever is a lie.


What happens when a 12 year old girls falls for her best-friend's brother? She is naive and innocent. He is broken and lost. He also falls for his sister's best-friend.

“The truth is, I love a boy who can't get his shit together for anything, but without him I can't breathe. Edward is love to me. Something inside me deeper than my blood and stronger than my heart, needs him and has us forever connected.”


“ I feel so safe when Im with him, I know he would protect me with his life, from anyone and anything, but he cant he doesn't protect me from himself".”


Love is an addiction
Love is Mistrust
Love is hopeless
Love a train wreck
Love is heart-ripping
Love is misguided
Love is mad like crazy; hurt like impossible
Love never fails or does it?
Love is soul taking, it's mean and torturous, and spiteful
Love is lying and tricking
Love is conditional.
Love suffocates but also starves for air

Love is Dusty, it bleeds you dry!

Love is always supposed to understand.
Love is supposed to be effortless.
Love is supposed to be loyal.
Love is always supposed to answer.
But Love is love's traitor.


“She's created a trio out of our duo, and I hate her. I hate her more than anything else. She's the other girl, his bitch on the side … she's the lipstick on his collar. And she makes him so fucking unpredictable.”


This is one of the most emotionally gripping, honest, want to rip your hair out, raw, gut wrenching, poetic piece of work I have ever read. I have to read it in small doses.. it's my 6th day on it and I just finished it..and holly fkk! My heart wouldn't be able to take a re-read..

“Our love is not perfect. Our love is fucked up and bleeding, but it's the most precious thing in my entire life.”

[Dee Montoya · Rating 5 out of 5]

******6+ Love You Like Crazy Stars******
One of the best and favorite books I've read this year. Overwhelmingly beautiful story about a Never-Ending Love.

Isabella Bliss was her parents miracle, after trying for years to have a baby, finally she arrived and was their biggest treasure. When she was five years old they moved to a new town and on the first day of school she met Alice and Edward Cullen.

Alice became Bella's best friend and Edward became her love, her secret, her addiction...

Edward was the dark to Bella's bright. Since a young age this boy was different, a leader in his world, sinful and helpless about his love for Bliss. No matter what he did or how low he would sink she was always there, waiting for him wrapped around his blankets.

From friendship to lust and then love, this story will grab your heart and will absolutely consume you; frustration will rise and tears will be shed, just remember that Bella gave him her heart and that Edward was all she knew. He was lost inside a dark maze always looking for his Strawberry Princess through the fog and the storm inside his heart...

I hope you don't miss your chance and read this book. Yes, it was a lengthy story but you couldn't edit any part of it, every word and every song are imperative to the beautiful madness that is Dusty.

My two favorite songs from this book:
*Liar By Mumford and Sons
*I Don't Feel it Anymore by William Fitzsimmons.

[destini · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy hell, this looks one tough read. I'm almost afraid to pick it up. I feel like it's going to destroy me... Just by reading the reviews you can tell how powerful this story is.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

"She’s my softer-side, and I’m her motherfucking monster." - Edward



This book is not for die hard romantics you won’t get any of that from this book. You will get hard, real life pain and heartbreaking destruction in these pages. This book is about the most pure form of innocent love, childhood love. Loving the boy she grew up with, her best friend’s brother. Only it went wrong they kept it a secret, they hurt each other and used love as the excuse. And then “SHE” came along… cocaine…“SHE” took Edward and wouldn't share him with anyone. But Bella did everything… EVERYTHING HE ASKED! And god did he try to do EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING FOR HER! But they were a train wreck but that didn’t matter to them because to them Love is…

Love is draining…
Love is blind…
Love is sceptical…
Love is relentless…
Love is tempting…
Love is effortful…
Love is strong…
Love is unending…
Love is mean…
Love fucking hurts…
Love is relentless…
Love is reassuring…
Love is brave…
Love is perfect…
Love is vengeful…
But love is love’s traitor.
Were inevitable.

"Love is two years younger, but a million times older. Love is at my house, ignoring my unease. Love has ruined everything, but made it so much better. Love is a blissful wonder." - Edward

I need to remember how to breathe.... swallow... form thoughts... and tell my heart a thousand I'm sorry’s for what I just put it through.

"We’ve driven head first into this calamity of fucked-up, and I don’t ever see us rising to the surface. He sucks me dry and fills me up with phony terms and broken assurances. Edward has me tied to him, mentally and physically, and nothing I do will ever change that." - Bliss

Edward and Bliss (Bella) just kept hurting me over and over and over again. But I couldn’t get mad at them, they were just kids trying to navigate their way through growing up and having this all-consuming dangerous love for each other. Their story begins when Bliss is 10 and Edward is 12 and ends when they are 17 and 19, of course I was frustrated in parts of this book but I don’t think they did anything that most teenagers wouldn’t or haven’t already done before. When you’re that age breaking up is forever and not being with the one you love feels like it’s never going to happen.

"My age may be thirteen but my heart is one hundred years old. From this I will never recover. Ever. I just grew up." - Bliss

This book is LOONNNGGGG and at about 70% I started asking myself if I had made a mistake by reading a book that was just hurting me over and over again but then I got to the chapters from Bliss hearts POV and crumbled and cried and had chest wrenching sobs I kept reading even though it was blurry I couldn’t stop. No book has ever even come close to hurting me the way this book has. See Bliss had been hurt so much that she had to go numb so she locked her heart up and started half-living getting through every minute was excoriating for her. When you read from her hearts POV it’s her heart begging to be released from the dark cold place it’s being trapped in and how it fights Bliss all the time to feel, to remember him, to go to him, to call him and in a couple of moments Bliss has seconds where she crumbles and cries and aches but then she pulls herself together and pushes her heart back to the dark cold place and keeps half-living again. It’s the most heartbreaking moments in a book I have ever read.

"I know he loves me. I never doubt his love. I doubt his intentions and respect. I distrust his motives and allegiance. Love? I smother in his imperceptible, dictating love. He’s loves traitor." - Bliss

This doesn't have a HEA but I can happily live with the ending it had, if it had a happy ending I would have hated it because it wouldn't have been real. Even if there was a sequel I'm not sure I could read it, my heart has nothing left for their story. Numbness got me through the last chapter because at every turn in this book it choose to break me more and more until I had nothing left to care for, for them.

"Love is lying and tricking. Love is hard work. Love is suffocating and using. It’s head-fucking and soul-ruining. It’s apprehensive and back-stabbing. It’s passionate. It’s chilling. It’s smile-giving, but neck-breaking. It’s not worth it. It’s so fucking worth it. It’s everything I thought it was, and everything I thought it wasn't." - Bella

I haven’t even scratched the surface of this book with this review, there is so much more… and I will NEVER forget Dusty and Bliss.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love is battling cocaine for love's attention.
She's created a trio out of our duo, and I hate her. I hate her more than anything else. She's the other girl, his bitch on the side … she's the lipstick on his collar. And she makes him so fucking unpredictable."

HONEST, REALISTIC, HEARTBREAKING, GUT-WRENCHING, HAUNTING, TRAGIC, BEAUTIFUL, BLISS-FUL, SUPERBLY WRITTEN.....

All the stars in the sky still wouldn't be enough to rate this epic read...

"Love at first sight may not apply when you're nine and eleven, but I feel like I've always known she was my purpose in the truest sense of the word. My be-all, end-all. From the very first moment, all clear sandals and soft curls, all shy smiles in the hallway on her first day, and I sounded like such an idiot when I tried to talk to her, because somewhere inside I knew then. I knew she was incomparable."

"My age may be thirteen but my heart is one hundred years old.
From this I will never recover. Ever. I just grew up."

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread April 2015!!
I didn't think I could love a story even more after reading it again.. It was like reading it for the 1st time all over again..

5* STARS is not enough for this realistic emotional read!!

What can I say other than WOW!!!

This has to be the best book i've ever read definately tops my favourites list!!!

I couldn't put it down, it was very emotional and it broke my heart, but was so worth it, would definately recommend it to anyone

However I didnt like how it ended, I need to know what happens next there has to be a conclusion, I can't wait for more..

It was very well written,perfect and flawless, I thought it was written better than some books i've read by well known authors.
I cant believe this was from a fan fic site, so many people have loved it the author deserves for it to be published for everyone to read!

[Aimie · Rating 5 out of 5]

From this, I will never recover. Ever.

5 stars seems like an insult to this fire cracker. It totally consumed my life for 2, delightful, traumatic weeks, and left me gagging and gasping for more.

This is the story of Bella Bliss and Dusty. They meet as children and mature into a twisted life of love, lust, deceit, lies, abuse and addiction.

Bliss is naive, 2 years younger than Dusty, and the daughter of the Chief of Police, Charlie Swan. She is sheltered, loved, protected, tows the line and lives by her parents rule, but she feels smothered, and becomes desperate to break free from their chains and live by a much more relaxed rule which experiences in the Cullen's home.

In a lot of ways they drove her to me. She's suffocating in their care, and I'm the reckless boy they are so afraid of. I'm her freedom from them-her uprising...her way out.

She can't deny her feelings for the black eyed monster that is, Dusty. The heart wants, what the heart wants.

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It was a hard read at times, especially the last quarter, but I needed to remove myself from my fluffy, cocoon bubble that is my life, and accept that this sort of shit really happens. Even to 'kids' of this age.

The cycle of addiction is not easy, but this happens. It's your neighbors, your friends, your kids...you.

Dusty made me so angry at times. I wanted to shake him and tell him to snap out of it - Bliss should have been enough. He didn't need her as-well. But his addiction wasn't that easy to shake. She was too deep in his head and veins to shake ....

**CUE DEDICATION TO ALL THINGS BAD BOY DUSTY .... (Hmmmm always wanted this excuse ....):
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...and one more for good luck ...
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The writing of this story was pure class, gritty and rough. It grabbed me like a vice and didn't let go. It tore my heart in two, gave me butterflies, made me sweat like a pig in a sauna, and on more than one occasion, made me turn to the gin to numb the pain.
It still remains in my dreams most nights and is impossible to get out of my head ...

Do not let the length of this masterpiece put you off. It wasn't long enough in the end for me. I could have read about these characters forever.

What an experience this was. I'll never forget it.

Special thanks to the Author; YellowBella. For 2 weeks you rocked my world and made me shun my friends and family. For this I am eternally grateful.

She leads me to contentment. She promises me forever. And I believe her. Because love is a lot of things, but above all, love is what we make it. And we'll make this never ending.