The Correct Thing by Miss Lelia Hardin Bugg

by Colleen Hammond

There are plenty of etiquette and manners books available, but how many are exclusively for Catholics? How many focus on the fact that manners are morally good inner character traits that are exhibited in an outward manner? Our lives are full of moments when we are not sure how to handle a certain situation. These occasions of uncertainty and discomfort could be everyday activities or special events that only happen once a year. This practical book is the perfect guide to help you learn to do the correct thing in any situation — at Catholic Sacramental functions, in public, or in the home. In addition to basic behavior for Sacramental events, this little handbook offers a wide range of advice and addresses such topics Etiquette is not something that is turned on and off. Good manners, decorum,and charity benefit not only us personally, but the entire society. Good manners show an inner character that the ancients called virtues — those morally good inner character traits that are exhibited in an outward manner. That is why there really is no such thing as company manners . Written over 130 years ago, nearly every tidbit of the author’s advice that was applicable in 1881 is still true today. It's only when you stumble across a few obvious exceptions (a man shot in a duel, or how to treat your servants) that you are jolted back to the present. The Correct Thing is the perfect guide for parents — as well as religious — who want a practical guide to help mind your manners in any situation, and to foster morally good inner character traits that will be exhibited in an outward manner.

Paperback

First published March 24, 2014

Reviews

[Colleen Hammond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a collector of antique books, somewhere along the line I picked up this volume of The Correct Thing, by Miss Lelia Hardin Bugg. The receipt tucked in the front cover said I had actually ordered a different book, and the seller accidentally shipped me this one instead. I now recall stowing this handbook away -- knowing that someday I’d get back to it.

That ‘someday’ was a couple of months ago. Cleaning out a cupboard, something drew my eye to the crumbling 133-year-old leather spine, and my eyes fixed on the title. “Correct thing,” I thought. “What is the correct thing?”

As I scanned through the pages, I realized that nearly every tidbit of the author’s advice that was applicable in 1881 is still true today. Waiting in line for confession. Approaching for Communion. Confirmation issues. Visiting convents. The correct thing for when a priest arrives in your home for a sick call. Funerals. Engagements. Weddings.

But it’s not just the Sacraments. Miss Bugg also touches on Catholics in public life. Politics. Business. And even the correct thing when traveling.

It’s only when you stumble across a few obvious exceptions -- a man shot in a duel, separate sides of the confessional for men and women, how to treat servants, paying for a priest’s horse or carriage fare -- that you are jolted back into the present. You may be comforted by the idea that common sense wasn’t all that ‘common’ a century ago, either.

A little warning. You may be taken aback by some of the local customs mentioned, the stringency of Lenten requirements a century ago, and changes in Sacramental preparations. In the interest of our rich heritage and Faith, the original text has been left virtually as it was written. (Please consult your parish priest for details on current practices.)

This book provides a robust bounty of proper behaviors and etiquette that are timeless. And timeless is what Catholic novelist Lelia Hardin Bugg was hoping for. I can imagine her consulting with and interviewing the priests she knew in her hometown of Wichita, Kansas who shared with her, “the ignorance and thoughtlessness, of the blunders, ludicrous and annoying when not serious” that they encountered in their parishes. I’m sure if you sat down with your parish priest today, he might share similar frustrations -- how parishioners are either uninformed or unconcerned about the correct thing to do.

Lelia Hardin Bugg wrote in her preface that she hoped that her little book would, “fill a long-felt want” long after the copyright expired. Re-publishing her work is an attempt to bridge time and bring her little volume into the 21st century.

Thank you, Lelia. 133-years later, your work does fill a long-felt want.

[Leane Vanderputten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book! It has a lot of great info. Some is outdated, but very interesting to read and gives the reader a feel for what used to be proper etiquette and how far we have slipped in this arena. It also gives timeless information on etiquette at Catholic functions.