Help for High-Conflict Couples: Using Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Science of Attachment to Build Lasting Connection

by Jennine Estes Powell, Jacqueline Wielick

Are you ready to stop the conflict and start connecting with your partner? Based in the science of emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory, this is your go-to guide. Do you and your partner fight all the time? Do you love each other, but simply drive one another other up a wall? Do you worry that you’ll eventually burn out from all the conflict, arguments, and hurt feelings, and that your relationship will deteriorate? If you’re seeking ways to increase love and intimacy and decrease reactionary behaviors like criticism, blaming, withdrawing, and defending, this book can guide you toward a place of harmony and understanding. Based in the revolutionary science of attachment theory and evidence-based emotionally focused therapy (EFT), this is an effective, research-based road map for helping high-conflict couples break free from painful and destructive habits. With this book, you’ll uncover the root cause of your conflicts—both as individuals and as a couple. You’ll also find simple strategies for creating an emotionally secure environment, as well as tips for managing triggers, de-escalating arguments, and cultivating a real and lasting connection. Feeling emotionally safe and secure in our relationships is a primal need, and it is integral for our health and well-being. If you’re ready to transform conflict and chaos into unshakable closeness, this book will guide you, every step of the way.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Counselling

200 pages, Paperback

Published January 2, 2024

About the author

Jennine Estes Powell is a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist).

Reviews

[Richard Sherman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is spectacular. I've consumed all the instagram and self-help I can get my hands on and they always fall short. What I really like about this book is that it reads like a narrative, meets me where I'm at as a person, and intersperses and includes tangible work along the way. Of particular note are guidelines and tools for exercises I've done with my wife that I can tell are already helping with future fights that we haven't had yet and (who knows) maybe never will have at all. It frames it all through the lens of the science behind it, which helps me see the whole logical chain leading to logical outcomes, despite dealing with my heightened and decidedly NOT logical fight brain.

Basically, it's a no brainer. Anybody interested in improving their relationship with their partner, with their family, with themselves, should get a copy of this book. It's spectacular.

[Rachel Croce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a unique approach in using emotionally focused couples therapy. I found it slightly challenging to follow for clients, but there are helpful prompts to use in journaling. The later chapter on “repairing attachment injuries” has a very helpful three step process in how to emotionally attune and respond with empathy. I also like that there are examples and clarity on how to give an authentic apology while staying present with another’s hurt. The early chapter on self-regulation and coping is also very helpful.

I’m just glad we have more resources like this. Teaching emotional attunement is quite challenging.

Good read. One I can easily pick and choose chapters from to use for interventions with clients.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so proud of my talented friend Jackie Wielick (licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who practices Emotionally-Focused Therapy) for writing this incredible book! This book is endorsed by a foreword from the revered therapist Sue Johnson who pioneered the field of EFT, and is a road map for couples looking to break out of destructive patterns and build emotionally safe and secure attachments. Wielick and Powell's expertise and conversational tone create a very approachable path to healing. Their compassion and experience shines through the text as a safe and easy-to-read guide towards results. I am so excited for this book to be out in the world and I highly recommend checking it out!

[Brooklynn Tubbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a clinician I think this book is incredibly helpful for readers to identify their own attachment styles, their triggers & soft spots assoc. with “little” trauma and how to effectively navigate conflict in the relationship. I enjoyed its addition of primary & secondary emotions as well coping skills. It was a little too wordy but great for future couples therapists or simply wanting to improve relationships/gain better understanding. Disclaimer: i did not enjoy the intro, it made me feel like i shouldnt be reading it but trust me, it’s misleading.

[Anna Trofholz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such an amazing tool for improving couples work! There are bounds of exercises, activities and tools included in here that I’ve found to be helpful. It has also helped me understand the stages of EFT on a deeper level. I’m so proud of Jennine for writing this book, and proud to know her!!

[Connie]

#GoodreadsGiveaway

[Steven Ridgely · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great information

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

To my therapists friends a great read for EFT approach to couples counseling!!

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The breathy vocal fry in this audiobook was a lot.

There were some good bits in here, but I found it to be just ‘okay’ overall.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75