52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives: What Wives Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

52 Things

by Jay Payleitner

“I don’t always understand what he needs or wants from me.” Most wives want a heart-to-heart connection with their husbands. But men often communicate their needs in ways that seem strange to women. How to bridge the gap? Straight from a veteran dad and husband come these insightful, unexpected, and occasionally offbeat ideas. Bestselling author Jay Payleitner digs deep to give practical insight into how a woman can A husband does want to be close to his wife. Here are great steps to strengthening a marriage by making room for that closeness to happen.

Genres: Marriage, Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help

208 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2013

About the author

Jay Payleitner spent a decade in major market advertising. Learning how people think and doing some fun work. Including creating TV spots for Midway Airlines, Kroger, and Corona Beer. And heading up the creative team that named "SunChips."

But God called him into Christian media. And he became an almost-too-busy freelance producer. For more than a decade, Jay scripted and produced Josh McDowell Radio, Today's Father, Jesus Freaks Radio with TobyMac and Michael Tait, Project Angel Tree with Chuck Colson, and thousands of hours of radio that aired across the country and beyond.

Jay is a long-time affiliate with the National Center for Fathering and nationally-known motivational speaker for Iron Sharpens Iron, marriage conferences, men's retreats, women's events, writers' conferences, and weekend services.

Jay has sold more than half million books including the bestselling 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? His latest -- and perhaps most important release -- is The Jesus Dare.

This June, Waterbrook/Multnomah is releasing the surprising book, The Prayer of Agur.

Jay's books have been translated into French, German, Spanish, Italian, Afrikaans, Indonesian, Slovenian, Polish, and Russian.

He has been a guest multiple times on The Harvest Show, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio, Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, Cornerstone TV, and Focus on the Family.

Jay and his high school sweetheart, Rita, live in the Chicago area where they’ve raised five great kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.

Reviews

[Taryn Raulston · Rating 4 out of 5]

With 14 years of hard work invested, praise the Lord, my husband and I have a great marriage. However, I can always use some encouragement of specific ways I can love my man better. In his book, 52 Things Husbands Need From Their Wives, Jay Payleitner, gives women some candid and straightforward ways to be the wife their husband needs.

In the introduction, Jay introduces himself as a new friend and he seems to know how to talk to women by building a relationship with the reader right off the bat. He continues to build trust as he starts with easy topics and saves the harder ones for last. But by the end, he's gained the full trust of the reader, so he can address those difficult topics with honesty without losing the reader.

Each chapter is very short, to the point and very practical. Although some chapters seem repetitive or should be combined, I see the point of keeping them short and maybe we needed to hear that twice. Some of the chapters that were helpful and encouraging to me were:
"To Be Careful about Scheduling Expectations"
"To Give Him Time to Decompress after Work"
"To Be Flattered When You're on His Mind"
"To Appoint Him as Project Co-Manager"
"To Realize that His Anger is Not Really Directed at You"
"To Applaud His Tenacious Focus on the Task at Hand"

I also like the takeaway and quote/scripture at the end of each chapter. Without "preaching" at you, Jay uses Scripture and biblical thinking to back up his points. This book has a very friendly and encouraging tone. I would recommend this book to newly wed wives and wives that are struggling in their marriages because understanding these things about your husband may prevent and/or explain much of the conflict that occurs in marriage.

*Special thanks to Harvest House Publishers for providing this book for review through Netgalley.com

[Jake Manning · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very simply book with practical suggestions on how husbands can better love their wives. Super easy read. I read a few "things" every day and highlighted/underlined all the advice that I wanted to implement into my marriage. Many of the chapters served as reminders to me, but there were a few chapters that gave me new insight or advice. Something my wife and I thought would be a good idea: she reads this book and highlights everything that stands out to her, while I read "52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands" and do the same thing. Then we share what we liked, needed, etc.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

In his book, 52 Things Husbands Need from their Wives, Jay Payleitner discusses many ideas and values that are important to men in a marriage. The book is comprised of 52 short chapters, each with some examples of the author’s personal life, some inspiring quotes and/or relatable scriptures, and a “Takeaway” (a 1-2 sentence summary of that chapter). On my Kindle Fire, I was able to highlight several areas that I felt could help me in my own marriage. The author comes across in a very friendly, non-judgmental tone throughout the book. Although it was written from a male perspective, it was clear that he understood women and the female perspective very well. Many of the ideas were things I’ve already been familiar with–but even still, they did remind me of things I should have already known, or helped me to understand the perspective behind these familiar ideas better. There were a few new tips and perspectives mixed in that I hadn’t considered before.

Although men and women are viewed much more “equally” among society now, and are taking on new roles in the home or workplace, men and women are still different. There are still different needs and feelings associated with each. It is important to understand the differences so that you can work and live and build a family together. I’ve felt that it was worthwhile to examine marriage from a male perspective through this book. I can definitely see how following all of these principles could lead to a happier, stronger marriage.

Payleitner has several other family-building books for couples and parents that I’m looking forward to reading. I think it's important to invest time and effort into building a strong family and learning new ways to be a better spouse or parent.


I would give 52 Things Husbands Need from their Wives 4 stars out of 5. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to maintain or build a strong marriage. It could easily apply to younger newlyweds or older couples who have decades of marriage built up. The book is very easy to read. I finished this book in about 3 days.

[Jennine G. (Living On Purpose) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is literally 52 short chapters that discuss one topic per chapter that a husband needs a wife to do, be, or understand within their marriage. There were quite a variety of topics presented, all ending with a small tidbit called a "Takeaway" and a scripture verse.

Topics covered on the light side of marriage included: know his likes and dislikes, show him love in little ways, don't nag him too much, and don't let him beat up on himself too much. There are many more that lead up to tougher topics, such as decision making and the true meaning of submission in Ephesians 5:22. Also, Payleitner does not stray from the more embarrassing or touchy topics, as he also discusses "making marriage sexy again" and "the slippery slope" he calls porn. A really good point Payleitner makes throughout the book is the need for realistic expectations. Anyone in any relationship has to expect that there will be hard times, experiences will change us for better and worse, and that no one is perfect. To expect these things to rarely or never happen sets the marriage up for failure. Establishing realistic expectations of your husband and working together is the key to success.

Payleitner has a whole series of these relationship advice books, including 52 Things Daughters Need from Their Fathers and 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands. If there is a relationship you are interested in improving, these books give quick, easy to understand pieces of advice that help you change the way you think and act toward that important person in your life. After all, you are the only person you can change.

[Angela Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read for Every Woman

The book 52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives changed the way I will love my future husband. Each chapter has nuggets which are thought provoking and applicable for making a loving and lasting marriage. I saw this book while shopping in CVS and purchased it the next day! I have already recommended it to several of my friends. This book is a necessity for any couple looking to strengthen and repair their marriage relationship. lt will definitely be a source of reference for me in my kindle library.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting book, even though I already saw a lot of my current relationship in the book, and we aren't married, it did help to know that we are already on the right track for when we do get married.

[Christi Barron · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great book! Written in a lighthearted style, this book sheds light on how husbands really feel about their spouse, their home, the world around them. We've been married over twenty years and this book surprised me with a whole new way to see my husband.

[💖📚BOOKZAMILLION📖💘 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read! Very informative.

Total Book Experience 10/10

Plot/Storyline (structure)10/10
Writing (Errors) 10/10
Characters 10/10
Again-able 10/10
Emotion 10/10
Book Cover 10/10
Visual/ Illustratable 10/10
Addictiveness 10/10
Threshold quality 10/10
Unique 10/10

[Keshia Burchette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh, while this was an easy read with simple practices to show your husband you care the author seemed at times like he was saying "we can be jerks, it's your job to be better." I could be totally wrong but this was the vibe I got in several chapters.

[Kevin Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful ideas supported by excellent research. Actionable tips for improving relationship outcomes and a framework for entering conversations with your spouse in an empathetic way. Great tips on improving the environment in the home while strengthening the relationship.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this a chapter here, a chapter there. Most of it was pretty basic. - but the chapter about putting in your 10,000 hours. 27 years to really get the marriage thing down. That resonated with me.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gained a ton of insights. I'll definitely read through this one again.

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

A GREAT BOOK TO ALWAYS COME BACK TO. learned a lot and a lot to keep in mind. def makes me want to put my 10,000 hours in to make sure my love feels love. a great read for before and after marriage.

[Blanca Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muy buenos consejos para las esposas

[Emilee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think you can always get good points out of this book. Always something that you hold onto.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book full of great tips.

[Lin Spradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of good nuggets.