Happy Women Live Better

by Valorie Burton

Women have more education, more money, and more choices than ever before. Yet, research shows we are less happy than women 40 years ago. Today, we can “have it all.” So why is happiness declining? In Happy Women Live Better , bestselling author Valorie Burton unlocks the secret to your personal happiness. She reveals 13 happiness triggers–choices that can boost your joy right now, even in the midst of deadlines, children, marriage, dating, and squeezing in a workout or girls' night out. Through these happiness triggers, you will learn to Valorie talks about the cultural shifts and modern challenges that threaten women’s happiness, such as increased stress from increased demands, earning more money than men, constant comparisons brought on by social media and reality television, and many more. Learn to navigate these issues and join thousands of women in a modern movement that empowers you to take control of your happiness.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development

224 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2013

About the author

I am a bestselling author, speaker, and life coach dedicated to helping people like you get unstuck and be unstoppable in every area of life.

I founded The Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute and have served as a Certified Personal and Executive Coach to hundreds of clients in over 40 states and ten countries.

For more than a decade, I have had the pleasure of writing, speaking, and coaching in order to help people like you:

- Make major life changes
- Be happier and have more fun
- Become strong leaders
- Achieve professional dreams
- Navigate setbacks
- Speak up with confidence
- Feel at peace with decisions
- Conquer emotions that can cause self-sabotage

Let me help you get unstuck and be unstoppable!

Feel free to add me as a friend, rate or review one of my books, take one of my quizzes, or visit my website to learn more.

Reviews

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

According to the author, there are 13 triggers to happiness and there is a chapter dedicated to each one:

1. Anticipation
2. Smile!
3. Service
4. Financial savvy
5. Gratitude
6,. Connection
7. Flow
8. Play
9. Relaxation
10. Winning words
11. Movement
12. Savoring
13. Purpose

I liked the writing style ... it was friendly and conversational. The author knows her stuff and has done research. She is very religious, though, and there are lots of quotes from the Bible and references to God. I'm not religious so I skipped over them.

It's a good book for women to read to give you direction to leading a happy life.

I did the Happy Woman Test and here are my results:

Your Top 3 are your “Personal Triggers”
Anticipation ("Every day I make sure I have something to look forward to"): 19 Savoring ("Every day I enjoy a moment worth savoring"): 17 Financial Savvy ("I aim to live on 75% or less of my income"): 17 Your highest three triggers are your most dominant. These are the happiness triggers you frequently use and come most naturally to you. Nurture them and find new ways to use them even more to boost your happiness. You are very comfortable activating these triggers as they are unique to your personality and lifestyle. However, it is your Power Triggers (bottom three) that give you the greatest leverage to boost your happiness.

Your Bottom 3 are your “Power Triggers”
Movement ("I spend 30 minutes each day moving my body"): 13 Flow ("I minimize interruptions so I can fully engage in the activity at hand"): 12 Winning Words ("Every day I speak words of hope, peace and love"): 12 Your lowest three triggers provide you with the greatest opportunity to boost your happiness because these are the ones you use the least – and perhaps even neglect. By intentionally activating these triggers, you tap into new, scientifically-proven ways to boost your happiness. Leverage these triggers right away to positively impact your well-being in ways that will feel novel and intriguing to you.

Your Happiness Quotient: 77
Your happiness quotient is a numerical measure that determines how actively you use all of the happiness triggers. The higher your quotient, the more fully you are utilizing all of the triggers, likely resulting in higher levels of overall happiness. The maximum Happiness Quotient is 100 points.

Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2013/09...

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a free copy of this book for my review and honest opinion. What a thought provoking book! Why are women less happy than 40 years ago? Has life changed so much in such a short space of time? The answer is yes. We can do more and we want more, but does that help women to lead a happier life? We lead lives that are challenging, full and at times overwhelming as we attempt to be wives, mothers, workers, and individuals. Ms. Burton's aim in this book is to help today's women work out how to be happier with life. Ms. Burton has identified 13 "happiness triggers" - anticipation, smile, service, financial savvy, gratitude, connection, flow, play, relaxation, winning words, movement, savoring, and purpose. Each of the 13 triggers are described in full, and tips on how to use each one to achieve happiness in your life are given. What I liked - it made sense and the tips are easy to follow. What I didn't like - each section could have been stated a little more succinctly. At times I felt bogged down. Overall, a good self-help book for today's women.

[Martha Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book that will give you many great practical suggestions for improving your own happiness without getting too deeply bogged down in psychological theory concerning happiness and achieving it, particularly addressed to women, then this is the book for you. I found it easy to read in one night, yet I tabbed a number of pages to come back to use as a reference for both myself and others in both my own coaching practices and personal life. Valorie Burton has a gentle but honest way of leading you into making some assessments of your lifestyle and personality that also guides you into some real life ways to make positive changes. Highly recommended!

I would like to disclose that I won this book in a First Reads contest.

Martha Char Love,
Goodreads author of What's Behind Your Belly Button? A Psychological Perspective of the Intelligence of Human Nature and Gut Instinct and
Increasing Intuitional Intelligence: How the Awareness of Instinctual Gut Feelings Fosters Human Learning, Intuition, and Longevity

[Paula Vince · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valorie Burton gets to the crux of why women aren't as happy as we could be. The book delves into the question of why women forty years ago scored statistically higher on measured happiness charts. The answer she puts forth, after interviewing ladies from all walks of life, is revealing and very touching. It's simply the feminist 'happy' myth that we can have it all.

She quotes statistics which show that feminine happiness has been declining since the early 1970s, which is about the last time in history it was socially acceptable to focus solely on either your family or career without experiencing guilt or shame from society. Most women, no matter what their life choices, gave similar responses to her questions. 'I feel I should be doing more... This isn't what I thought I was signing up for... I feel like I've missed something and put myself behind... Yet I'm exhausted'

It seems to me, reading this, that we're like frogs in a pot of water that gradually gets boiled. The changes in expectations about the role of women has increased our stress load without our conscious awareness. Although early feminists did our gender a favour by getting us out of one type of prison, the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction, making us prisoners again without even knowing it. Seeing my own experiences and attitudes written down made me a bit emotional. Family and career are two separate wells, and of course focusing intently on one must draw deeply from the other.

Having established this, Valorie outlines 13 simple happiness triggers, along with a questionnaire to determine which are our strongest and weakest. None of them are really new and some are simpler than others. For example, smiling, keeping a gratitude list, getting adequate rest and moving our bodies don't seem too profound, but reading her take on them was fun. I definitely appreciate her advice to set up simple little treats, to give us something to keep looking forward to.

I appreciate this book mostly for helping me recognise that a lot of unhappiness we suffer isn't our fault, and for giving us skills to deal with it.

I received this book as a free ARC from NetGalley.

[Lis K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book starts with the question "Why are women less happy than 40 years ago, while men are actually happier?" I don't think this book answers the "why?" of that question but instead helps the reader figure out the "how" to be happier in their life, regardless of their circumstances. To this end, Ms. Burton lists 13 "happiness triggers"---skills that can be practiced to produce more happiness in one's life: anticipation, smile, service, financial savvy, gratitude, connection, flow, play, relaxation, winning words, movement, savoring, and purpose. Each chapter describes the happiness trigger, how to use it, and gives examples of women who have used the trigger to create happiness in their lives. Between each happiness trigger chapter is a "Conversation Starter" chapter that discusses cultural shifts/dynamics that affect happiness. Her website has a "Happy Woman Test" so that you can figure out what your top 3 and bottom 3 happiness triggers. (I thought the test was pretty accurate in defining what triggers my happiness.) At times, the book felt kind of long because there are 13 triggers and each one is described in detail. I thought maybe the triggers could have been categorized in a different way so the book didn't feel so long (maybe social triggers, physical triggers, etc...). There is a lot of research mentioned in this book but I didn't see any reference citations, it might be because I had a galley copy and the actual book does cite the research studies mentioned. This book reminded me of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages book in that it defines and categorizes an emotion in a way that I had never thought of before. It would be a great book club read because it really lends itself to discussions about the dynamics between circumstances, faith, cultural shifts and how they play into one's happiness.
* I received a free copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads. Burton has some good points about how to make steps toward doing things to be happier. There's nothing groundbreaking in it, but I read a very short bit each day for several weeks, took her points, and mindfully tried to make some changes.

However, many things that she hinted at in previous chapters came out blatantly in the chapter about Financial Savvy. Yes, live below your means, don't become a shopaholic, etc. But then she threatens that if you make more money than your spouse (or potential spouse) you are likely to end up unmarried or divorced. She encourages women to think about giving up that promotion so men don't feel threatened. For real. This isn't a woman problem, this is a MAN problem. And if a woman ends up divorced despite giving up the promotion, she's sure going to regret turning it down when the man is gone despite her sacrifice. I don't understand how Burton can praise education and workplace advances in one breath and practically tell us not to take advantage of them in the next.

I tried to keep reading after that, but even her good points were tainted.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very practical book. As Valorie says, happiness is a skill, and she gives us the tools to be more skilled at it. Some of her triggers were familiar to me, such as service and gratitude. Some surprised me, like the aim to live below 75 percent of your income. Some were new to me, like flow and savor. She has good, practical suggestions as to how to activate the triggers in your life. She has also included some very good discussion starters and/or thoughts for your own reflection. this would be a good book to stimulate journaling or for use in a study group. See my full review at http://bit.ly/16kkJov.

[Deborah Replogle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a GoodReads Giveaway Book, and I thank the givers very much.

This slim volume is to be read slowly and savored. It should be read with a pencil, pen, or highlighter in hand to mark special passages or write notes to oneself in the margin. This is a book that can be used as a workbook to attain happiness and satisfaction in our life. And it should be read more than once.

I know that's a huge claim to make, but if one looks at the hundreds of books on "Happiness" that are being offered out there, it might point out to us that this is something we are noticing to be lacking in our lives. Be honest with yourself - Are you happy? If you can readily answer "Yes!" to this question, Good for You. But if you can't.....you might want to ask why....really. This wonderful little volume helps you examine and discuss with yourself or others, why you might be feeling unhappy. And while I can give you a simple answer, getting to that simple answer takes a lot of digging. Use this author's words to help dig. This is not a book of advice,so much as it creats the atmosphere for you to ask yourself relevant questions.

There is a religious element reflected in this work, but it's not enough to overwhelm the message.

[Gwen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first ever self-help book and I'm really glad and satisfied with it. I liked how Valorie Burton wrote this book. It's short, simple and yet very straightforward; but I was able to savor every Happiness Trigger. It allowed me to evaluate myself and realize my situation on my own, without the pressure of a certain list of to-dos for me to be happy with my life. I liked how she allowed me to relate to the book in my own unique way. I also loved the examples she mentioned in the book, from women of different walks of life, and even added her own life experiences, allowing us to glimpse her vulnerability and being an imperfect human being, who also experiences "down" times. I picked up so many obvious and simple thoughts that are worth remembering; and I appreciate the simple tips and conversation starters that can be used for discussion with peers and friends, as well as for meditation.

[Kristin]

Full disclosure-- I won this book via a Goodreads First Reads with agreement to review it.

I really like this author. I once read her book, How Did I Get So Busy and I LOVED IT!!! I really still benefit from some of the things I learned in that one. I was interested in this book just based on that experience/book.

In this book Valerie shows that though women have much more, they are less happy that they were 40 years ago, as a group. She discusses why this is, and what women can do about it. She gives really practical solutions and lists 13 specific things we can do. I think this had some GREAT points, was easy to read and conversational. I like her writing style. She shows that happiness really is a choice. I think in a lot of ways we just let life and emotions happen to us, and don't CHOOSE to do the things required for happiness.

[barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

**I received this book as a Good reads First Read Winner**

I absolutely love this book. Told with a Christian basis, it is definitely not a stereotypical how to be happy book. It examines what key areas are needed to live a happy fulfilled life (based on YOU, not what someone else thinks) and includes a quiz to see where your strengths are (the book calls them triggers) and which areas you need to work on. It also includes conversation starters to get you talking with those around you about 'happiness' topics that don't typically come up. Practical, thought provoking and inspiring. This is one I will definitely recommend.

[Christine Barth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book in exchange for a review. For folks who like this type of work, I actually think Burton will resonate. This is a little off the path of what I usually read and I didn't find a renewed love for the self-help genre.
I did like that Burton incorporated faith and the test was pretty interesting. Overall, if you've read one of these personality/help books, I think you've read them all though.
Didn't quite get through it, but again, if this type of thing normally appeals it's a good addition to a collection.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from Goodreads Giveaways. Thanks so much to Harvest House, the publisher, and Goodreads!

I enjoy reading this type of "Self Help" book, similar the The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I found the author's conversational and familiar style comforting, like talking with a close friend. The suggestions presented are great and definitely line up with my life experience. Easy to read and very helpful.

[Kelly Mc Math · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really good read that made for great conversation with some like-minded ladies. There are some tips that I picked up that I am already using. I would recommend this book to any woman who doesn't like most self-help books, because the author doesn't write from the premise of fixing something that's wrong with you. She writes about enhancing what is already going well and working with the life you have, instead of trying to "fix" it. Totally the opposite of Iyanla, lol

[Jahque Sweeney-Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've learned to recognize, appreciate and celebrate all success big and small and I learned to be content in all situations good & bad but more importantly be content with myself flaws & all as long as I continue to progress...GROWTH! That's definitely what le
d to my happiness. This book describes how I try to live my life always seeing the glass half full I realize it's an innate characteristic. I can't be any other way :)

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.

It was okay. It has interesting advice for women and their goals. I might apply some of the advice to my life. I wish the introduction was longer and better explained "happiness triggers" and how to better use or develop them. There was a lot of references to God, so your mileage with the advice may vary. The book seems too vague and scattershot.

[Trina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was just the right amount of personal stories, case stories and studies. Nothing overwhelmed one another. The advise was clear and there were great steps laid out for expanding each trigger. However, the title doesn't say "Straight Christian Women" and it should. I felt a disconnect from the reality that not all relationships are straight and that bothered me.

[Carleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Sometimes it is not a matter of whether a man can provide, but whether h can provide at the level he imagines a woman expects. If he perceives he cannot please you at the level of his ability to provide, he may choose not to pursue you. I emphasize the word "perceives" because often what a man perceives as your expectation may not actually be your expectation." -Valorie Burton

[Alma Garza-Moore]

This was such a good encouraging book. It opened my eyes to so many possibilities and I really like the question in the end of the book. I even wrote it down and have it on my mirror. It really makes you think. Thank you, Valorie, you are the best. Alma Garza

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book for review purposes. Very interesting information, thought-provoking and certainly contains much food-for-thought for conversation starters. The author has a very enjoyable writing style so it was a pleasure to read.

[Charise · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent guidance book for women. Well written and has an easy flow. I enjoyed this book so much that I am considering this as a gift option for women that I know. I am looking forward to doing the "activate" tasks and incorporating some changes.

[Jaymie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, encouraging book. Includes suggestions for triggering more happiness in your life. Would make a great group read - book group, Sunday school class, etc.

[Courtney Gaines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book and can't wait to read more from Ms. Burton. This book made me rethink my definition of "happiness" and reflect on ways that I can do this thing called Life better. Enjoyable read,

[Concetta Velasquez · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was really helpful to take the Happiness Trigger quiz on-line to see which triggers you naturally do and which ones you could use some work building.

[Regina McBride]

Valerie was very candid and clear through her guide to choosing happiness. Solid read. I am working on my happiness goals.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book super easy to read which made the subject matter easier to retain. There is an easy flow to the writing and it isn't convoluted and preachy. The subject matter, happiness, didn't sound like such a hard thing to attain and surprisingly enough I do many of the suggestions already.
The one thing that really stood out to me was the eye crinkling smile for no reason. Just do it and it pops into my mind and I just smile a huge smile. I'm not sure if it gets me happy or not but I will keep practising it and hope that it works. I certainly don't have anything to lose.

[Sarah Piper · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is such a hard book for me to review ... I debated from 3 to 4 stars. I wanted to enjoy this book so much more than I did.

Honestly the last two chapters were my favorite (Happiness Trigger #11 Movement & #12 Savoring). But the rest of it I really had to power through to get to the best part.

“The everyday moments are your journey. The big moments are the destination. They are the moments in which you cross the finish line.”

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Received from NetGalley for review.
An inspirational author who provides transformational advice. Valerie breaks it down into "triggers" for happiness. Easy to follow recommendations for improving happiness. All the the advances over the years with technology and science doesn't change the basic formula for happiness.

[Taniesha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good advice/tools/tips about making YOUR OWN happiness a priority everyday! I enjoyed the information about the happiness triggers and I did go online to take the free assessment/quiz. I learned things about myself and how to start putting some new things in place to cultivate more happiness in my own life.

[Lenora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful tips and strategies that I will definitely incorporate in my life!