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How to be a hero to your kids
You don't have to be a super-parent to be a hero to your kids. All it takes is love, motivation and a workable plan. Josh McDowell and Dick Day offer a six-point, biblically-based plan for positive parenting that will set you on the path to being a hero to your child.
234 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1991
22 people are currently reading
102 people want to read
About the author
Josh McDowell
515 books644 followersJosh McDowell is a bestselling Christian apologist, evangelist, and author of over 150 books, including Evidence That Demands a Verdict and More Than a Carpenter. Once an agnostic, he converted to Christianity while investigating its historical claims. He went on to earn degrees from Wheaton College and Talbot Theological Seminary. For decades, McDowell has been a prominent speaker with Campus Crusade for Christ, addressing issues of faith, character, and youth culture worldwide. His work emphasizes historical and legal evidence for Christianity and tackles challenges posed by skepticism and non-Christian beliefs. He lives in California with his wife, Dottie, and is the father of four children, including fellow apologist Sean McDowell.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
February 9, 2021
The Chinese edition's name is translated as "The power of 6A", 6A being acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability, accountability and authority. What do they mean?
The first is Acceptance. Acceptance is the first important thing. As a parent we need to show our love to our kids, letting them know however they behave, however big mistakes they make, we still love them. Only after they receive acceptance will they feel safe. Why acceptance is the primarily important thing is because it is the most difficult thing to do. We like the things we like and hate the things we dislike. Nobody likes bad things. Acceptance is when your kids are bad you still like them. We love our kids not because they do well, but because they are our kids. We accept them, and they build a good self-image. The second thing is Appreciation. We praise our kids so as to boost their self-esteem. Too often we focus on their bad things and want to improve them, neglecting to affirm their positive behaviors. The third A is Affection. Many Chinese fathers do not show their affection to their kids. It is a pity. Their kids cannot develop good self-esteem. Some girls have premarital sex to prove they are loved. The fourth A is Availability. This is also very important. The world is already very busy in 1991, not to mention now, when technology advances makes us busier than ever. Without spending our time, we can’t show our acceptance, appreciation and affection to our kids. The above four As are on the side of love. On the other side of the scales, there are Accountability and Authority. The implication is love surpasses rules and control. When it comes to Accountability, we must be a role model first: do what we preach. We expect them to be polite, and we ourselves should be polite first. The last A “Authority” makes people sacred. It is not necessarily like that. There are two kinds of authority: one is the dictatorship model and the other is “relational authority”. The former controls people, while the latter leads people. Accountability and authority are important, but they must first be built upon acceptance, appreciation, affection and availability. Kids become rebellious when they are told to behave without being loved. A good relationship with kids is the prerequisite to setting up rules for them.
I am quite impressed by remarks made about Appreciation. We appreciate our kids not to manipulate them, but to help them build their self-esteem. This point is very important. We build our kids, rather than controlling them. We appreciate our kids to show that we accept them. Acceptance is that whether they succeed or not, their value remains unchanged. Acceptance and appreciation are interrelated. The chapters about affection are also insightful. In Chapter 9, the author said that without enough love, many teenagers wrongly use sex to satisfy their needs. In Chapter 10, the author said that parents should love each other, which will develop the sense of safety in the children. If you say you love your kids, but you don’t love your spouse, your kids won’t believe you. Moreover, not only should we say we love our spouse and kids, but we also should take action. For instance, we can hug and touch our kids, not to mention saying “I love you” aloud. Only after our kids have the self-esteem and the love will they have the power to resist the temptation of premaritial sex and drugs. Regarding availability, the author says, contrary to what many think, having quantity time is more important than quality time. Without quantity, it is impossible to have quality. In the chapters about accountability, the author also cleverly points out that to teach a kid to be responsible, we ourselves should be responsible and be a role model. We need to be supervised by our kids, because we are accountable to them, in the way they are accountable to us. In the last chapter that is about authority, the author stresses that if we have only love, we are the spoiling parents. If we only demand responsibility and authority, we are dictator parents. If we have no love and demand no responsibility, we are ignoring parents. The most desirable type of parents are those who have both love and discipline, called the relational (authoritarian) parents. Accountability and authority are about the discipline. The first four As (acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability) are the foundation on which to build the last two As: accountability and authority.
I was surprised to find that this book was published in 1991, such a long time ago. I read the Chinese version, which came out in 2015. It surprised me that the Chinese publisher found an old book to translate. That explained why I found the points the book makes surely still ring true, but the examples he gave were old-fashioned. Despite this, the book is highly recommended for parents and teachers!
The first is Acceptance. Acceptance is the first important thing. As a parent we need to show our love to our kids, letting them know however they behave, however big mistakes they make, we still love them. Only after they receive acceptance will they feel safe. Why acceptance is the primarily important thing is because it is the most difficult thing to do. We like the things we like and hate the things we dislike. Nobody likes bad things. Acceptance is when your kids are bad you still like them. We love our kids not because they do well, but because they are our kids. We accept them, and they build a good self-image. The second thing is Appreciation. We praise our kids so as to boost their self-esteem. Too often we focus on their bad things and want to improve them, neglecting to affirm their positive behaviors. The third A is Affection. Many Chinese fathers do not show their affection to their kids. It is a pity. Their kids cannot develop good self-esteem. Some girls have premarital sex to prove they are loved. The fourth A is Availability. This is also very important. The world is already very busy in 1991, not to mention now, when technology advances makes us busier than ever. Without spending our time, we can’t show our acceptance, appreciation and affection to our kids. The above four As are on the side of love. On the other side of the scales, there are Accountability and Authority. The implication is love surpasses rules and control. When it comes to Accountability, we must be a role model first: do what we preach. We expect them to be polite, and we ourselves should be polite first. The last A “Authority” makes people sacred. It is not necessarily like that. There are two kinds of authority: one is the dictatorship model and the other is “relational authority”. The former controls people, while the latter leads people. Accountability and authority are important, but they must first be built upon acceptance, appreciation, affection and availability. Kids become rebellious when they are told to behave without being loved. A good relationship with kids is the prerequisite to setting up rules for them.
I am quite impressed by remarks made about Appreciation. We appreciate our kids not to manipulate them, but to help them build their self-esteem. This point is very important. We build our kids, rather than controlling them. We appreciate our kids to show that we accept them. Acceptance is that whether they succeed or not, their value remains unchanged. Acceptance and appreciation are interrelated. The chapters about affection are also insightful. In Chapter 9, the author said that without enough love, many teenagers wrongly use sex to satisfy their needs. In Chapter 10, the author said that parents should love each other, which will develop the sense of safety in the children. If you say you love your kids, but you don’t love your spouse, your kids won’t believe you. Moreover, not only should we say we love our spouse and kids, but we also should take action. For instance, we can hug and touch our kids, not to mention saying “I love you” aloud. Only after our kids have the self-esteem and the love will they have the power to resist the temptation of premaritial sex and drugs. Regarding availability, the author says, contrary to what many think, having quantity time is more important than quality time. Without quantity, it is impossible to have quality. In the chapters about accountability, the author also cleverly points out that to teach a kid to be responsible, we ourselves should be responsible and be a role model. We need to be supervised by our kids, because we are accountable to them, in the way they are accountable to us. In the last chapter that is about authority, the author stresses that if we have only love, we are the spoiling parents. If we only demand responsibility and authority, we are dictator parents. If we have no love and demand no responsibility, we are ignoring parents. The most desirable type of parents are those who have both love and discipline, called the relational (authoritarian) parents. Accountability and authority are about the discipline. The first four As (acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability) are the foundation on which to build the last two As: accountability and authority.
I was surprised to find that this book was published in 1991, such a long time ago. I read the Chinese version, which came out in 2015. It surprised me that the Chinese publisher found an old book to translate. That explained why I found the points the book makes surely still ring true, but the examples he gave were old-fashioned. Despite this, the book is highly recommended for parents and teachers!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 6, 2018
This book has been so beneficial to understanding WHY (the purpose) we parent as Christians, and how to do it God's way. The emphasis is on ensuring FIRST that children feel affirmed, accepted, and loved in their home and building up from there all the way to authority. If we start with authority, and there has been no foundation in love and support, then there will more likely be resistance and tension. Such a good and important read on the philosophy of parenting and what it looks like to model authentic relationships to our families.
May 28, 2017
This is the best parenting book I've read! Super helpful tips and advice without being overly specific.
December 26, 2019
Fundamental teaching based on Bible. Every chapter ends with "to think about, discuss or try for yourself" which is very useful!
January 9, 2011
another read as part of continuing ed requirement: although almost 20 years old, i picked up some excellent tips for working with preschoolers.
August 6, 2012
It was ok
May 1, 2025
Soooooo good! Every parent should read this once a year.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews