ATTN: Shawna Holly
How dare you? How dare you break my heart into many pieces and leave me sobbing over and over again? Rude.
I spent chapter after chapter in fits of tears that blurred my vision, forcing me to wipe my eyes just to see how you would destroy me next. Aunt Kitty's chapter is what truly did me in, sending me into full sobs, and caused me to text my mother in the middle of the night to say how much I love her and appreciate all that she has done for me and my siblings before I was able to continue.
Lastly, Shawna, I want to thank you for the very last chapter. I still had tears in my eyes, but you did not let me close the book sobbing, and for that I express my deepest gratitude.
I will be purchasing my own copy at the end of the year as I close out my 2023 reading challenge.
I would recommend this book to not just mothers, but every woman on this planet. I am not a mother, and have never experienced pregnancy, yet this book shattered me. Yet another amazing debut novel to come out of 2023. Not many books I've read this year have made me feel to the level that The Stories We Keep did.
Before I even had a chance to start reading, I have to give major props to Holly for her use of content warnings and the playlist that she curated for the story. Since this is a new release, I did not see a playlist already created, so I have made one that you can find on Spotify by simply searching the name of the book. I played it every time I opened the pages, and while I tend to avoid music with lyrics when reading, it works for The Stories We Keep.
As always, I mark down quotes I feel are important to convey the emotion of the story, though there may be some spoilage ahead, so proceed with caution. It turns out there are so many quotable lines that need to be acknowledged.
TW -depression-
"It's never occurred to me before how much the transition from the dark days to the good is just like that--terrifying and deadly one moment, to checking the mail and washing the mud-covered cars the next. . . Suddenly, I'm very aware of how much life resembles the sun-shower: It can be so beautiful and bright, but still, there's rain." (page 12 and 16)
TW -postpartum depression-
"'Mama, are you sick too?' Ryan asks. / 'No, honey. I'm just tired today.' / 'Oh, will you play a game with me, then?' / 'Not right now, Ryan. Maybe later.' Without protest, he turns from me and goes right back to crashing cars together with Noah. There's guilt for not pulling myself together enough to sit on the edge of the sofa and play with him, but just as quickly as the feeling comes, it goes. See? He doesn't need me. They have each other." (page 39) --Absolutely devastating.
TW -pregnancy loss-
"'I was killing myself slowly, not with pills or a knife, but by driving myself out of my mind and body with grief.' . . . ' Your pig-headed grandmother saved my life and I hated her for it. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to walk this earth without my baby, but she made me do it anyway.' . . . 'I was never blessed with another baby, but every child I see somehow becomes my child. I am a mother with no one to call my own, so they all become my own.'" (page 173,174,177)
"My heart aches. How much of what I've felt and gone through could have been avoided if someone had told me I wasn't alone? How much of what Mama or Gloria felt could have been avoided if someone would've told them their story? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don't we just talk to each other?" (page 205)
TW -loss of a spouse-
"'I never suffered from thoughts of suicide or felt like I couldn't go on. I was in a high-functioning state of depression, too focused on keeping things "normal" for the kids to allow those kinds of thoughts. If I didn't have them to worry about, or if I didn't have Kitty and Charlie here, I'm sure my story would have ended up quite different.'" (page 227)
"I cry not only for this goodbye, but also for all the others. I cry over their stories, my story, and even for those of women I don't know and will never meet. I cry for the universal unfairness of it all--and with a heart which desires nothing more than to let every single person in the world know they're not alone." (page 245)
TW -suicidal ideation-
"How many will not survive it? How many will come as close as I did to a fateful meeting with a power pole or other tantalizing form of perceived instant release?" (page 298)
"'I think I handle it better now, but that all feels like a change in what's visible on the outside. On the inside, I'm still screaming--praying for relief; a chance to get away from it all.' . . . One thing I've learned from all of this is that I'm presented with dozens of choices every day, and I don't always do the right thing. . . there are times when I choose anger, frustration, or belittlement as a response." (page 300,302)
TW -death and grief-
"She's gone. She's really gone. My heart is heavy and broken. She saved my life. Did she know how thankful I was? Did I tell her enough? . . . I can't do this. I can't bury her. I can't lose my friend. But she's already gone." (page 317)