Хотим мы того или нет, семья в любом случае является тем местом, которое формирует наше мироощущение. Наша родительская семья (наши родители и наши братья и сестры) очень во многом и на долгие годы, а часто и на всю жизнь, определяют наш характер, наши стереотипы, наш образ действий и наши устремления. С другой стороны, не создав свою собственную семью, не сформировав гармоничных отношений с другим человеком, вряд ли можно по-настоящему понять, что такое счастье. Эту книгу Вирджиния Сатир посвятила тому, чтобы не только специалисты по семейной терапии, но и все люди, кто хочет личного счастья, лучше понимали, по каким законам функционируют семьи, какие бывают у них проблемы (вы действительно считаете, что больше ни у кого в мире нет схожих с вами проблем?), и как их можно решать. Книга классика психотерапии читается легко, а советы, которые Вирджиния дает своим читателям, понятны и легки в применении. Так что если свое собственное счастье и эффективность, а также счастье и душевное здоровье ваших близких вам не безразличны, настоятельно рекомендуем вам внимательно прочитать эту книгу.
Virginia Satir (1916 – 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, known especially for her approach to family therapy and her work with Systemic Constellations. She is widely regarded as the "Mother of Family Therapy" Her most well-known books are Conjoint Family Therapy, 1964, Peoplemaking, 1972, and The New Peoplemaking, 1988.
She is also known for creating the Virginia Satir Change Process Model, a psychological model developed through clinical studies. Change management and organizational gurus of the 1990s and 2000s embrace this model to define how change impacts organizations.
Una guía para "avanzar en el laberinto y aprender a ver lo que allí está y comprender el hermoso milagro que son nuestras vidas, para ver con ojos nuevos, para diferenciar y sumar a lo que ya sabemos". Son 88 páginas amorosas que nos enseñan a tener contacto íntimo.
I've been slowly making my way through some of the foundational texts of psychology, partly because I enjoy seeing how ideas develop, mutate, and occasionally wander off into strange intellectual cul-de-sacs before finding their way back again. There is something fascinating about reading the old maps while everyone else is staring at GPS.
This week’s stop was Virginia Satir's Making Contact, a book so small it practically disappears between larger volumes on the shelf. Barely a hundred pages. The psychological equivalent of a pocketknife. And yet, somehow, it contains enough wisdom to furnish an entire counseling practice. (eat your heart out Brianna Wiest)
What struck me most is how far ahead of her time Satir was. Long before attachment theory became the dominant language for discussing relationships, long before every social media therapist was diagramming nervous systems and emotional wounds, Satir was already asking a deceptively simple question: How do human beings actually make contact with one another?
On the surface, her work can feel behavioral. She observes communication patterns, family systems, and the ways people move toward or away from each other. But beneath that is something much deeper. She understood that relationships are not merely exchanges of information. They are encounters between souls trying desperately to be seen.
Her famous Five Freedoms remain astonishingly profound:
The freedom to see and hear what is. The freedom to say what one feels and thinks. The freedom to feel what one feels. The freedom to ask for what one wants. The freedom to take risks on one's own behalf.
Simple enough to fit on an index card. Difficult enough to spend a lifetime practicing.
Reading them, I found myself thinking that they are not merely freedoms for relating to others. They are freedoms for relating to ourselves. Most of us violate these freedoms daily. We don't say what we think. We don't feel what we feel. We edit, suppress, perform, accommodate, and negotiate with reality until we can barely locate ourselves within it.
Satir seemed to understand that healthy relationships begin when contact is restored—not just with another person, but with our own experience.
And perhaps that is why the book still feels so relevant. We live in an age overflowing with connection and starving for contact. We have notifications, feeds, comments, texts, reactions, podcasts, and enough communication technology to make a nineteenth-century telegraph operator faint dead away.
Yet genuine contact remains rare.
Satir's little book feels like a gentle reminder that the deepest human task has not changed. We are trying to make contact—with ourselves, with one another, with our families, with our communities, and perhaps with reality itself.
Not bad for a book you could accidentally leave inside a jacket pocket.
Some books impress you with their complexity. Others quietly rearrange the furniture in your mind. Making Contact belongs firmly in the second category. Let me add, she writes poetry throughout the book and honestly its nice to see the crossover between art and nonfiction (even if the poetry is mid).
Classic therapeutic wisdom. I look up to Virginia Satir so much- and loved being able to learn directly from her, in the books she has given us. The idea of "making contact" intersects perfectly with a lot of the most cutting edge, mindfulness and behavioral therapies used today. Satir is able to pump some heart centered vitality into that work with her humanity. I use Satir's metaphors & wisdom every day. Thank you.
Me lo recomendó mi psicóloga para que yo pueda automotivarme y tener en cuenta que si me conecto conmigo misma, a través de todos mis sentidos, puedo igual conectarme y tener una mejor relación con quienes me rodean. Todo esto siendo sincera y valorando las palabras que se dicen. Creo que eso es lo que propone el libro, pero la verdad no estoy segura.
It is a beautiful and brief discussion on communication, congruence, and being in contact with yourself. I thought it was a little scattered at times, and while this is likely due to its age, did not account for the neurodiverse experience. A really great read for therapists in my opinion, as well as people working on their relationships or struggling with relationships due to trauma.
This book is about dynamics of relationships with others as well as with yourself. As good as Satir is reputed to be (I have not read anything else by her), this book felt like it was much too simple. The book is a quick read, but it is so general that it felt pretty vapid.