Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self

by Daphne Simeon

Feeling Unreal is the first book to reveal what depersonalization disorder is all about. This important volume explores not only depersonalization, but the philosophical and literary implications of selflessness as well, while providing the latest research, possible treatments, and strategies for living and thriving when life seems 'unreal.' For those who still believe that such experiences are still a part of something else, that depersonalization is just a symptom and not a disorder in its own right, Feeling Unreal presents compelling evidence to the contrary. This book provides long-awaited answers for people suffering from depersonalization disorder and their loved ones, for mental health professionals, and for all students of the condition, while serving as a wake up call to the medical community at large.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Mental Illness, Health, Psychiatry

235 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2006

About the author

Daphne Simeon M.D. is an American psychiatrist, best known for her research on depersonalization disorder. Simeon is a graduate of Columbia University's medical school, psychiatry residency and fellowship program, and psychoanalytic institute. Simeon now works at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York, at the Family Center for Bipolar Disorder.

Simeon was until recently an associate professor of psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, where she did research, supervised, and taught. It is here that she ran some North American clinic that specifically treated depersonalization disorder. She currently co-chairs an international task force that will generate new recommendations for the DSM-V classification of dissociative disorders. She currently serves as an advisory board member for the National Organization of Drug-Induced Disorders.

Reviews

[Tom Bensley · Rating 3 out of 5]

For whatever reason, Depersonalization Disorder has remained largely unexplored and most people, including some mental health professionals, have never heard of it. Because of this, the disorder is often passed off as a symptom of anxiety, depression, trauma, etc. Daphne Simeon's book on the subject acknowledges this and delves deep into everything Depersonalization related, proving that DPD is very real and has been for a long time.

For me, the absolute best thing about this book was how it lifted me out of feeling utterly alone and helpless. As a sufferer, I had told few people about it and all of them, including my parents, had never heard of such an affliction and had no idea how to deal with it. On more than one occasion, it had been dismissed as anything serious. After reading Simeon's book, I felt less like an alien and more accepted in the world, I was no longer alone. Most of all, the book helped me realise I wasn't just making these feelings up, which I had always feared.

Feeling Unreal assures the reader that they are not insane and everything they are experiencing is very normal, which is a huge help, cliched as it may sound. There is extensive information on DPD throughout history, medication and the literature in which it has appeared, particularly existential texts which is an interesting read if nothing else. The countless case studies throughout, often taken from the Mount Sinai program, helped me because I could finally identify with others. I wasn't meeting these people, but after such a long time dealing with it by myself, these case studies were close enough.

While the book gives extensive information for anyone interested, my 3 star rating is solely because the book does not give any answers or definite remedies. This is not a failure on the writer's part, because there simply hasn't been any. There are some helpful ways to to improve a sufferers situation, but the book ultimately ends up feeling like a stepping stone in the field, or a beginning point for more research to take off. Having said that, it is a wonderful beginning point and holds more information than anyone could hope for, it's just a shame that it left me wondering, "so how long will I have to wait for some real answers?"

[Sorana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was very useful to me. It doesn't reveal you some magic trick that makes DPD go away, of course, but what it does offer you is a wide range of information about it- really interesting stuff, for me- and that can help you indentify what triggered the disorder, analyse yourself better and learn how to cope with it. It can also make you more optimistic about DPD, if you experience it, as you find out that people have been suffering from it and studying it for decades- so you're not alone. I only wish I'd discovered this book 4 years ago.

[xenia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came into this book a bit wary as one of the authors is a psychiatrist and psychiatry has had a pretty awful history in its treatment of the neurodivergent. However, Simeon and Abugel explore depersonalisation across a range of fields, from phenomenology and literature to psychotherapy and neuroscience. None of the fields are elevated above any other. Furthermore, there's a decent amount of depth to their survey. In their chapter on psychotherapy, they explore early figures like Freud, Janet, and William James, alongside later relational figures like Bowlby, Donnel Stern, and Onno van der Hart, et al. Their chapter on neuroscience spans affect studies, trauma studies, biochemistry, and pharmacology. There's also a brutal honestly about how little the authors know about what engenders and alleviates depersonalisation, which is refreshing if you've read too many psychotherapy books claiming supremacy in their treatment methods.

This book argues that depersonalisation, though commonly experienced alongside depression and anxiety, as well as sharing symptoms with dissociative identity disorder (DID), borderline personality disorder (BPD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), is a distinct psychological phenomenon. As with DID, BPD, and PTSD, depersonalisation is dissociative. Following on from Janet, dissociation is understood as an adaptive biological mechanism, which may become maladaptive through intense or prolonged stress. Instead of the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), a person may dissociate, retaining their capacities to deal with the situation, but from a site of phenomenological distance (out-of-body, derealised, no-self). The consequence of this is that the world / self no longer feels real. Actions feel artificial, objects signify nothing, and emotions become inaccessible. This process becomes a disorder when a person continues to feel unreal, despite a change in their circumstances. While DID, BPD, and PTSD operate through dissociation as well, in all three memories are compartmentalised (into different self-states). This is why people who have DID, BPD, or PTSD may appear like they're lying when they don't acknowledge their problematic or abusive behaviours—they may, literally, not be able to recall such behaviours. Depersonalisation, however, differs from DID, BPD, and PTSD, because it affects attention, rather than memory. Depersonalised persons don't have any issues retrieving memories, but rather, in incorporating negative stimuli and triggers into their episodic memories. They're blocked at the start of memory formation, rather than at the end.

Depersonalisation also differs from depression and anxiety, because it can last beyond depressive and anxious episodes. In other words, feelings of detachment from the world, or of oneself as an automaton or zombie, may continue even after the depersonalised person has recovered from depression or anxiety and are back into a regular schedule (school, work, socialising, so forth). In fact, it's this appearance of competence, combined with absolute listlessness, that is terrifying for the depersonalised person. They're terrified that others will find out about their condition. This reflexive terror, however, separates depersonalisation from psychosis. In psychosis, unreality is embraced. In depersonalisation, unreality is rejected as something that should not be—as something terribly wrong. For the depersonalised then, reality testing is intact, while for the psychotic, reality testing is impaired. The psychotic doesn't know that they're deluded, while the depersonalised person does.

—

It's kinda wild to me that depersonalisation was little known at the time of this book's publication. The authors lament that many depersonalised persons live in agony their whole lives, thinking they've gone insane, having no community to share their condition with, and having incompetent doctors and therapists tell them they're just experiencing depression and that such feelings will pass. I learnt about depersonalisation when I was a teen. I've experienced it, in scattered moments, throughout my life. As a kid I would derealise while watching TV. The room would stretch and the TV would seem forever away. Sometimes it'd be like I was watching TV from behind myself. I derealised during my third year at university. There were too many readings for me to keep up with. The words in front me jumbled incoherent. I went to the mall and stared at people going up an escalator. They were all staring blankly into the back of the person in front of them. Another time I had some chop and fell paralysed onto a bed. The people around me repeated the same conversation three times in a row. It felt like an eternity. When I got home I threw up.

I realise now that Lovecraft and Kafka were writing about derealisation. Lovecraft's protagonists are fixated on questions of sanity and reality. Such an ontological rupture is a moment of depersonalisation. Kafka's worlds are an eerie mix of farcical, mechanical, and oneiric. The mechanical precision of the world is often offset with comic human interactions. The world doesn't feel real, yet these situations are just as common in our world. When I tried to kill myself half a decade ago, I swallowed a bunch of pills and sat on the grass outside. A bunch of cats wandered over to me, as if they were checking in on me. Cars began arriving, one after another, slipping into driveways with clockwork timing. It was 5pm, the end of the workday. In that moment, I realised dying was as absurd as living. That no matter my actions, the world would keep going, so I might as well too.

—

Simeon and Abugel state that few, if any, of the drugs prescribed for depression, anxiety, or psychosis, affect depersonalisation. Psychotherapy, however, can lessen its intensity. Validation of depersonalisation as widespread is essential. As many depersonalised persons feel isolated and insane, connecting them to the centuries of literature detailing such experiences (from Christian mystics to Buddhists to existentialists), as well as to other people presently living through such experiences, can reduce their anxiety immensely. Orna Guralnik hypothesises that depersonalisation stems from an invalidating environment. Validation of dismissed or disregarded parts of the patient then, may lessen depersonalisation. Simeon and Abugel add that CBT daily diaries have been shown to help patients identify triggers, as well as cycles, to their depersonalisation episodes, giving them much needed control of a state experienced as totally dispossessing. They further state that it's important to differentiate between low-arousal and high-arousal patients, for those low will benefit from energising activities (like exercise), while those high will benefit with relaxing activities (like meditation).

Let's be honest, these are pretty lacklustre suggestions. They're fine, but not enough. There's a distinct lack of research from somatic therapies in this book—research that's shown how stress and trauma is held bodily, and thus bodily interventions are needed to drive psychological change. While Simeon and Abugel do mention validation as an important technique, there's little else drawn from relational, attachment, and emotion-focused psychotherapies. While I understand that Simeon and Abugel are reluctant to view depersonalisation treatments as interchangeable with those for PTSD or depression, there're plenty of therapeutic avenues they could, nonetheless, speculate on. In their chapter on neurochemistry, they explore a breadth of drugs (most of which they show do nothing). There's no reason they couldn't have explored a range of therapeutic modes in their chapter on psychotherapy. This is a solid book, but its final chapter is scant and disappointing.

What do I do if my friend is dissociating? If they no longer recognise their own hands? If they feel like life is a dream from which they can't wake except through death? What if they're so resigned to their living death that suicide itself feels ontologically impossible, because you can't kill what's already dead? I get that this isn't a community organising book, but sometimes we don't have access to therapists, let alone therapists who specialise in depersonalisation. Again, this is a great book for understanding depersonalisation, but you won't find many tools for healing those in pain.

[Elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives a very good overview of depersonalization disorder (DPD) and derealization. It covers some of the history of this disorder and the constancy of symptoms over the last century, diagnoses, and some of the recent clinical research on DPD. There is a section on the biological aspects of DPD regarding the areas of the brain that are found to be affected, followed by a review of DPD in literature, such as Sartre's "Nausea." The book ends by discussing medication and psychotherapy treatments and the context of how those may or may not help DPD, ending with a few notes on the impact of this disorder on people and a FAQ.

This is a very informative book to gain a general understanding of DPD and put it in to context in comparison to other conditions. This is not a self-help book, though, with practical advice to help those who have DPD. Certainly, understanding DPD can be helpful, but this book is not intended to provide recovery. The primary purpose of this book is to collect disparate kinds of information in to one cohesive review of DPD. There are very valuable passages about the experience of DPD and the impact that it has on those who live with it. It isn't too heavy with scientific jargon, but it may feel a bit dense in the brain section. If you want to understand a bit more about onset, recovery, and what we currently know about the biological factors inducing DPD, then this is a good resource.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book may not be an extremely lightweight and easy read but it was worth the time invested. The depersonalization/derealization disorder is described thoroughly and in great detail. The author discusses all kinds of issues: history, possible triggers, symptoms, medical and psychological help available, all kinds of other possible treatments and explanations. There are plenty of stories and examples. Even though the book doesn't give you THE answer or any kind of ready-made solution (which is no wonder as none really exists), it gives you something equally worthwhile: hope and possibilities of dealing with depersonalization.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who ever suffered from this disorder or knows people who do.

[Julian Litke · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a moderately helpful read. It doesn't offer much in the way of an answer, but it does help you feel less alone.

[Ihor Kolesnyk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Психологічне д��слідження із прикладами, діагностуванням, пропозицією терапії у різних підходах ДРДР (деперсоналіція і дереалізація). Багатьом буде цікаво почитати детальніше про те, що із ними відбувається, а назви до цього не було.

[Xavier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend for anyone dealing with DP/DR. It helped me confirm a lot of what I already suspected about my own struggle with the disorder. Basically, that depersonalization is instant onset zen awareness in a crazy world, and some people have no framework for this awakening, which makes people feel disconnected because the old souls who experience it are on the forefront of a global shift in enlightenment. In my opinion we should embrace this and not try to diagnose this as harmful, rather a gift. Some people get over it after their stress triggers fade, but others experience it for life. In a supportive, understanding society, these people are capable of becoming visionaries beyond what we even know. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

..........

“Paradoxically, there are some people with DPD, especially those who have had it as far back as they can recall, who do not find depersonalization so distressing. Some may have adapted to it in their own way. They describe that the dissociation is a safe, comforting place for them to retreat, which shields them from being overwhelmed and envelops them in a state of nothingness. This is not to imply that DPD doesn’t cause dysfunction in these patients, however. Others may find similarities between DPD and altered states of consciousness that are actively sought through meditation and other consciousness-altering practices”

“Buddhism stresses that changes of consciousness be met in stages: devotion (saddha), discipline (sila), detachment (caga), and depersonalization (panna). The rituals and self-preparation are essential lifelong processes, with depersonalization as the final goal. Understandably, an unplanned, unexpected fast-track to panna could be quite terrifying, even with some knowledge of Buddhism.”

“Instances in which depersonalization can be channeled into creative or visionary outlets remain quite rare—so is true enlightenment, despite the fact that there are millions of practicing Buddhists. Fear, as Amiel noted, is certainly an inhibiting factor. And depersonalization is intensely isolating and fear provoking by its nature. Without the assistance of a knowledgeable “guru” to serve as a guide, a person must make their way through these fearful waters without a clue as to where they may be headed or when they may sink”

“The idea that you must lose the individual self first and foremost, then emerge anew like the phoenix, may apply not only to climbing the ladder of spiritual enlightenment, but to the steps toward unique artistic vision as well. Despite the common notion of success going hand-in-hand with a strong ego, complete depersonalization, even in its negative form, may be a prelude to something far beyond conventional success”

“Aldous Huxley stated that civilization could not exist if people used mescaline regularly, and Alan Watts, who knew both of these mind explorers personally, put it this way: Psychedelic experience is only a glimpse of genuine mystical insight, but a glimpse which can be matured and deepened by the various ways of meditation in which drugs are no longer necessary or useful. If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen.”

“Said one recovered depersonalized individual, a mother in her 40s, “depersonalization changed my perspective forever, in an existential way. But when I first experienced it, all I wanted was a way out. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t going insane. I’ll always envy people who just live within the framework of normalcy. Yet sometimes, I feel a little sorry for them, especially when they’re overly self-confident. They think they know who they really are.”

“In 2001 Andrew Newburg of the Department of Radiology at the University of Pennsylvania Medical Center published two single photon emission computerized tomography studies, one looking at Franciscan nuns and the other at Tibetan Buddhist meditators. In both groups, intense meditation was associated with increased brain activity in the prefrontal cortex, dorsolateral and medial orbitofrontal, and the cingulate gyrus—areas involved in cognitive control and focused concentration on the self. Also of interest in both studies, the activity in the prefrontal cortex was inversely related to activity in the superior parietal lobe, possibly reflecting the altered sense of body and space experienced during meditation. As discussed in chapter 6, these are the areas involved in the experience of depersonalization.”

..............

👤Me: —-> Also, one of the most surprising factors which make the forgetful negative effects of depersonalization worsen is glutamate. This is especially important because most people are eating large amounts of the excitotoxin MSG and MfG which are dietary sources of glutamic acid. There’s a video of a biochemist mom who cured her daughter’s autism by getting rid of these ingredients, so I think there is a connection between diet and the feeling dissociative or neurotically out of control in your depersonalized reality. Here are some videos to check out which explain why you need to avoid glutamic acid in the diet.
https://youtu.be/g-pnzj0c06Q
https://youtu.be/DT-1ndM686Y
https://youtu.be/7jJj9W4uF_4
Here is a study on rats fed MSG.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2...
Here is a link to all the food products to avoid:
https://www.truthinlabeling.org/hidde...
—>(Note: raw or minimally processed organic soy like edamame, tempeh, and pure tofu [no additives] is actually good for the body. Also, organic fermented foods like sauerkraut and pickles are amazing for fiber, vitamin K, and probiotics. That’s the only change I would adjust on the list.)

“...the dissociative, but not the psychotomimetic, effect of ketamine can be blocked in normal subjects by pretreatment with the medication lamotrigine. Lamotrigine, also known by its brand name Lamictal, is often prescribed as an antiseizure medication and has been speculated to reduce ketamine-induced dissociation by inhibiting the release of the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate. Glutamate is the main excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain, and it acts as an agonist on both NMDA and non-NMDA glutamate receptors. NMDA antagonists like ketamine are believed to induce dissociation by blocking glutamate transmission at NMDA receptors and consequently increasing glutamate transmission at non-NMDA glutamate receptors. Therefore, pretreatment with lamotrigine, which inhibits glutamate release, lessens ketamine-induced dissociation in healthy volunteers”

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book shows how little is known about depersonalization as the experience/disorder.

The author's cover everything from various theories and presentations, to examples in fiction, and treatment approaches. It's all a little thin, and ironically fragmented in it's delivery. It is however, reasonably well-written, and the author's accurately capture the potential impact such experiences can have on an individual through case examples.

I wished for some more in-depth musings on its development - particularly in relation to childhood trauma (as dissociative disorders are mostly linked to), however they hold that theory equally with others. DPD is discussed as an anxiety-related disorder, and for the most part they expound CBT interventions to treat it (where I believe other approaches are as or more appropriate for certain individuals).

Worth a read for those interested or invested in the topic. At this point, there still isn't much else. I'd suggest The myth of sanity or The stranger in the mirror as first reads on the subject.

[Subaru · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative and well organized book. Chapter 7, Depersonalization in Literature and Philosophy, chaught my attention and proved quite educational and eye-opening. Highly recommended.

[Moneim · Rating 4 out of 5]

unique book about unique disorder

[Alexander Deceuninck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well explained, deep analysis, scientific resources

[Sohail · Rating 4 out of 5]

* This text is not a review of the book, however you will find a short review of the book at the end (before the quotations).

This text is meant for people who want to know what depersonalization is. I wrote it, hoping to help those who suffer from it.
It's important not to misidentify depersonalization with depression or anxiety disorders. Sadly, many doctors and psychiatrists are not familiar with the condition and try to treat it as other disorders, with (obviously) zero or minimal results.

***

Depersonalization is something that many people experience during their lifetimes. For most people, it's transient; for some, it lasts for a long time. I myself have experienced it for short durations.

To me, there are two major types of depersonalization: unreality and emotional numbness.

The first kind happens when a person thinks what he is experiencing is unreal. This type of depersonalization is incredibly bizarre. When it hits, everything—even everyday familiar objects such as a desk, a pet, a loved one, or even the person's own limbs—feel unreal and alien. To me, it has happened a few times during my lifetime, for very short durations (several minutes). Imagine something akin to Deja vu, but stranger.
I personally think it happens when there are huge changes in the person's environment that create a large gap between what he is actually perceiving, with what he expects from reality (e.g. traveling to a different country with vastly different architecture, culture, etc., or when something terrible happens, such as the death of a loved one).

The second type is when the link between cognition and emotions seems to be severed and the person becomes numb, unable to feel. He feels like a spectator behind a camera, able to observe, but unable to feel and be present. The world becomes unreal as if it's a film. I have experienced the second type for longer durations than the first type (weeks or months). It usually begins after prolonged periods of working under severely stressful conditions.

To me, the second type is very different from the first type, because its unreality is not true unreality, but a result of lack of emotions. In the second type, the world is real and makes sense, but the person feels he is not a part of it; unlike the first type, in which the world is completely unreal and alien. That's why I think the two types of depersonalization are two different conditions and should be studied separately (allow me to remind you that even today, many doctors misidentify depersonalization with depression; therefore my suggestion is to prevent more of the same misidentification from happening). In this book, they are considered one and the same.

Review:

This book is a thorough study of both kinds of depersonalization: the definition, their history (including their history in literature and arts), their triggers, how they are different from other conditions such as depression, possible treatments including psychotherapy and medications, a FAQ section, and more.
If you have experienced some of the symptoms that I mentioned, this book is a worthwhile and informative read.

Some quotations from the book:

More often than not, patients see psychiatrists and psychologists who tell them they are anxious, stressed, depressed, personality-disordered, or even psychotic without ever identifying depersonalization as their condition. This can be damaging and only perpetuates the patient’s sense of feeling crazy, being misunderstood, or seeing themselves as an anomaly suffering from something that no one else has and no one else knows about.

Paradoxically, the U.K. research program has reported a number of findings that contradict the notion that DPD is a kind of anxiety disorder. Sierra et al. reported that galvanic skin responses, which measure autonomic arousal, in response to negative stimuli were blunted in DPD but heightened in anxiety disorders. They also found in a functional MRI imaging study that depersonalized individuals had heightened prefrontal cortex activity and blunted limbic activity in response to emotional stimuli compared to normal participants, a pattern opposite from that in anxiety disorders.

[Joshua Line]

"It was something like waking up to find that you're in a coffin, buried alive. Only the coffin is your body, your very existence."

[Lama El-Najdi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book describes DP/DR pretty accurately, and I wish it was in a pamphlet form so I could hand it out to people without having to explain what I'm going through. It's a decent book if you want to know what really is Depersonalization/ Derealization disorder, and it tells many stories of other sufferers that were pretty accurate and spot on in my case. I related to it on so many levels, however, if you have DP/DR yourself, I wouldn't recommend reading this book. While it will assure you that the thoughts in your head have echoed in other people's heads, it'll probably trigger you, as it triggered me. It's very difficult reading a book that accurately describes how you're feeling, and consequently goes on telling you that there isn't enough research on what you're going through, and there isn't a specific medication for your disorder, in spite of how popular it is. Another thing that's important to note is that the book mentions Lexapro as one of the SSRIs that have more or less aided 60% of their users, and having been on it myself, a) granted, I only took it a few times, however it increased my anxiety and insomnia b) it says directly on the description-paper-thingamajig that one of its side effects is Depersonalization/ Derealization.

[Mehwish · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is a thing unto itself. It is a condition that is inherently deceptive and contradictory, and yet, the common threads of a sense of unreality and the loss of the independent, individual self usually persist throughout its duration. Its symptoms are finite, clearly defined, and delineated after a century of study. But it remains highly misdiagnosed, misunderstood, or even ruled out completely as a disorder"

This book is a great introduction to understanding DPD and also provides a strange comfort to people like myself who feel that they are alone in this. There is a long journey ahead for DPD before we begin to see any concrete solutions.

[Kate Sergejeva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Познавательная книга про синдром деперсонализации. Новая для меня по теме разных психологических расстройств, присутствуют как истории из жизни, так и практикум, как и чем лечат.
Интересно отметить что как будто половина писателей, которые лезли в экзистенциальные темы и задавались вопросом «быть или не быть?» как раз таки яркие представители этого диагноза.
Всем, кто изучает и интересуется вопросом - смело рекомендую 👌

[Alistair Hawthorne]

Well put together and informative, a good overview of DP/DR with little irrelevant filling and tangents. Much better than Sierra's bland and drudging essay, and is easy to read and follow. There are links to the papers used in both books, but in this case they're organically incorporated into the text rather than being a checklist of citations.
Personal accounts of people affected are a nice addition and make the book more personal and natural.

I still have just a little idea of what's wrong with me, but the book helped somewhat to rearrange the thoughts.

I skipped the Biology and Medication chapters because I'm dumber than a bag of dildos and scared of big words, but still recommed the read.

[Tina Andreea]

I'd say it's very informative on the topic. It definitely helped me

[Sylvi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good introduction for those brand new to learning about depersonalization. Overall I'm satisfied, but it's not quite perfection. The overall tone and mood of the mood is comfortable and attentive, but not so science heavy that it is hard to read.

There is an anthology aspect to the book which is great to help assure the reader they aren't alone.

The theories chapter is a bit dry, some of the theories are questionable at best and downright bizarre at their worst.

The book also discusses the anatomy of the brain and how depersonalization is thought to interact with the brain. There's also a chapter on how mass media has dealt with depersonalization (poetry, books, etc).

Really the best part of the book is how the author puts emphasis on the fact that many people go through depersonalization, all at various degrees of severity and everyone who has depersonalization experiences it slightly differently.

[Carolyn Zaikowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book with hard-to-come-across information about the psychological state of depersonalization, which is usually just framed as a subset of depression, anxiety, or PTSD, if it is recognized at all. But it is its own "mental illness" that takes over many peoples' lives and minds in a pathological way. Though it has appeared/been described in memoir, literature, philosohpy, and psych theory for centuries, it's only very recently that psychologists have started really exploring the nature of it. This book is a good starter on depersonalization.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Has the right amount of Information peppered with case studies and real- life experiences. A great intro into understanding the disorder. Simeon writes in such an easy to read way that anyone interested in disorder will eat this alive and devour it within days. She has listened to those who have been reporting these feelings of being unreal and dead and given them a voice.

For anyone who has ever had depersonalization, i highly recommend this as a starting point to realise you are not alone, you are not crazy, and persistence is key in getting the right diagnosis.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and informative, this book answered many of my questions in regards to Depersonalisation. Depersonalisation still remains a relatively vague area in mainstream psychological practises and help is hard to find. I'm very grateful that I was able to get my hands on this book when I needed it the most.

[Omar Rodriguez-Rodriguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delivers on its promise. This book covers the 101 of a disorder that's not that well known. I enjoyed the first and second part (clinical studies and philosophical implications) and skim over the last (medical/chemical treatments).

Feeling Unreal covered DPD in good depth and it's a great read for those curious (with or without formal training on mental disorders).

[nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

my personal experience with different types of disassociation is as a frequent symptom of anxiety and depression, not as a disorder, but i still found this book really useful for trying to understand my mental health a bit more. it's also a very compassionate read, which i liked.

[electrickerrain · Rating 3 out of 5]

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This was such an informative, well-researched and complete explanation of everything having to do with DpDr. It was very extensive and included a lot of different aspects of the disorder but in a very comprehensive way (mostly, see below). It was so nice to read something that didn't minimise the symptoms of dpdr as so many other professional essays do. Through the pages you could sense that the author could understand and empathise with the pain one feels with this disorder and did a very good job at expressing it in a realistic but never overly-negative sort of way.

The only gripe I have with this book is that at times there were parts that were completely unreadable. The whole chapter on the biology and neurology was very difficult to understand without any prior knowledge in that area of expertise, and I struggled to get through it. I even considered not finishing the book (which would have been a terrible mistake, might I add). I myself understood very little in that whole part, so I would have liked it to be a little more accessible for the casual reader.

Nevertheless, my favourite chapter was the one about Philosophy and Literature. It was incredible! I found it very interesting to read about how dpdr has been depicted throughout history, even though most of the time people didn't know what it was and didn't even have a name for it. I haven't come across any information like the one included in this chapter anywhere else! I am quite interested in both Philosophy and Literature, which I'm sure added to the enjoyment, but overall it was absolutely superb. I also very much liked the one on Psychotherapy and the accounts of different people's perspectives in this chapter and interspersed in all the others.

Overall, this book was incredibly well-informed, extensive, cohesive and, most importantly, interesting. I learned a lot, and it honestly opened my eyes to how broad this disorder really is. Definitely worth the read!!

[Chris Merola · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love how grand in scope this is - it would have been satisfying enough to read a detailed clinical profile and a summary of relevant studies and treatments for DDD, but the author goes a step further by examining historical figures who seemed to have experienced depersonalization before it was known as such. There's also a fascinating section on whether depersonalization might be a form of enlightenment if sought purposefully. This disorder is so closely linked to defining one's identity and relationship to their consciousness, it conjures up a lot of difficult questions - and I'm so happy the author went there and explored all of them.

The section on depersonalization in the digital world has its heart in the right place but is mostly a tour of some cringe ass articles I had to read in freshman year of undergrad. Also the first 50 pages of the book were rather repetitive. But once we're off to the races, this thing serves up deeply insightful and comprehensive info. Shoutout to my depersonalized kings and queens, who else is out there floating above their head all the time 🙏

[Elin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting book. For me, that have felt similar feelings, it really resonated with me. To know about different people in very different situations and how they got DPD was the most interesting part. It is sad though that there is so little knowledge and not many studies about it, meaning that many are ignorant of it, and that there is no real solution to it. The second half made me a little low because of it, but people are learning more and more, and I think this is a disorder that everyone will know about in a few years. Just like depression and how it is more nuanced than we thought just ten years ago, DPD knowledge will spread faster and faster.

It is a good read for those who struggle with it, but I really think families and friends of people with DPD MUST read this book. To understand what their loved ones are going through, this book helps with that.

[Deb Lancaster · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of this resonated and has made me question my diagnoses over the years. Feelings and struggles I have always ascribed to depression seem to me more DPD. This is interesting in the context of work I'm doing with my therapist.

Lots of interesting stuff in here, although around 20 years out of date. I would like to know what's happened since then re DPD/treatment etc. In some ways, it's a philosophical conundrum that people seem to have been dealing with for aeons. So, the question is, is there any way to really 'treat' something that is ephemeral and so nebulous?

I don't know.

This book is heavy on research and stats, which is fine, but it makes for a not hugely readable treatise. No real insight into how to live with DPD or get rid of it. But there is comfort in reading something and feeling like 'yes, THAT's it. that's how I feel'.