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Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain
Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything.
With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or... well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes.
But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of the Sinister Brain!
With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or... well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes.
But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of the Sinister Brain!
7 pages, Audible Audio
First published January 1, 2012
About the author
A. Lee Martinez
29 books2,123 followersA. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 644 reviews
January 6, 2021
It’s been a stressful month and I’ve had a challenging time finishing the ‘serious’ books malingering on my shelf. I recently picked up my Kindle (after charging it–I really prefer paper) and discovered this little gem hidden near the end of my title list, one of those bargain purchases I was saving for a rainy day. Or snowy day. Whichever–I think we’re going to have both tomorrow–thunderstorms and eventual snow. Who doesn't love Midwest weather?
At any rate, I rather enjoy A. Lee Martinez’ books, but I recognize they work best for a certain kind of mood, the mood that wants fun, clever, and even silly, with feel-good endings. Emperor Mollusk perfectly fit my mood, and to my surprised, proved almost impossible to put down. Think every sci-fi/horror pulpy trope of the 1960s. They’re here, and they’re hysterical. But what’s even better is that Martinez takes this beyond parody by exploring evil, ethics and science through very human inhuman characters.
Poor (former) Emperor Mollusk. He’s been exiled from his native watery planet of Neptune, Saturnites hate him, and “the Venusians had had it in for me since I’d tried to conquer their planet after falling short on Neptune. I hadn’t really come close to subjugating Venus. Only claimed a couple of continents for a few weeks. No reason they shouldn’t have been over that by now.” Luckily, he conqueredEarth Terra, so he still has somewhere to live. But even an Emperor of a world can get a little dull after you’ve solved a few of humanity’s larger problems.
He’s trying to back down from the emperor thing and live a quiet life pursing his scientific research. He’s on a grocery store run when his reptilian Venusian arch-enemy arrives, Commander Zala. She wants to take him into protective custody, much to his surprise (he was expecting her to ‘bring him to justice’). Venusian intelligence has discovered a plot to assassinate Mollusk, and she considers it her duty to protect him until he is legally sentenced to death in Venusian court. Mollusk has no intention of going to Venus just to avoid another minor assassination attempt, so Zala assigns herself and her team as his bodyguards. The first attempt comes at his townhouse, and Mollusk, Zala and Mollusk’s faithful pet ultrapede (evil geniuses need disgusting pets) are soon investigating a trail of sinister clues that take them through classic B-movie sets as they seek to uncover the assassin and foil his sinister plot to rule the universe.
“While under normal circumstances, challenging the space-time continuum sounded like fun, I had a planet to save.”
Mollusk represents the ultimate in the scientific pursuit of information. Unfortunately, he occasionally displays a notable lack of judgement:
“I also thought storing my most dangerous technology on a dimensionally unstable island full of mutant dinosaurs would be safe. Much as it pains me to admit it, I do make my share of mistakes.”
Emperor Mollusk essentially follows a linear time frame, but does have a few interludes from his past that give a little insight into his complex character. Martinez achieves a perfect first-person narrative voice–dry, analytical and amazingly egocentric, he achieves a perfectly believable arch-villain. However, he’s also somewhat sympathetic, through a very dry sense of humor and an awareness of his social failings. He is not entirely sure how to compensate, despite his formidable brain. Still, he’s glad of Zala’s company, even if he doesn’t trust her: “In a chaotic equation, she was among the constants. It was nice to have something to rely on.”
Martinez does a nice job of playing with the conventions of sci-fi/hero movies, giving them a broad wink in his writing:
“‘It’s a plan,’ I said. ‘Just not a very good one. If you have a better one, please share it.’
Zala’s feathers ruffled. She waved her arms in a sweeping gesture around the lab. ‘Use this. Do something. Notice some tiny detail. Jump to some ridiculous conclusion. Do what you do, Emperor.’“
There’s load of clever wordplay, often based on the absurdity of the set-up:
“He turned and led us to our suite. The unspoken understanding was that none of this was free, but a cephalopod of refinement didn’t comment on such things.”
“‘It’s an interesting theory,’ she agreed, ‘but there’s an old Venusian adage. ‘The hungriest clug can eat frot-shaped stones all day.’
‘I’m familiar with the expression.’
‘Then I trust I don’t have to explain it to you. Seeing as how you are so much smarter than I.'”
Giggle. Yes, it’s a variety of parody. But it’s elevated above simple mocking by heart, fun characterization, and an anti-buddy antagonist coupling that was fun to watch. And, I shudder to admit it, but I rather liked the ultrapede and her tendency to shriek with enthusiasm. Martinez surprised me with what he did, and I ended up devouring the book in a day. Consider it highly recommended, with the caveat that it be read with tongue firmly in cheek.
The denouement, like all super-villain plots, was needlessly complicated, but Martinez completely make me laugh out loud with the sidekick summation:
[for heaven’s sake, people, SPOILER!]
“You were tricking them into thinking they were tricking you into thinking you were tricking them into tricking you?“
At any rate, I rather enjoy A. Lee Martinez’ books, but I recognize they work best for a certain kind of mood, the mood that wants fun, clever, and even silly, with feel-good endings. Emperor Mollusk perfectly fit my mood, and to my surprised, proved almost impossible to put down. Think every sci-fi/horror pulpy trope of the 1960s. They’re here, and they’re hysterical. But what’s even better is that Martinez takes this beyond parody by exploring evil, ethics and science through very human inhuman characters.
Poor (former) Emperor Mollusk. He’s been exiled from his native watery planet of Neptune, Saturnites hate him, and “the Venusians had had it in for me since I’d tried to conquer their planet after falling short on Neptune. I hadn’t really come close to subjugating Venus. Only claimed a couple of continents for a few weeks. No reason they shouldn’t have been over that by now.” Luckily, he conquered
He’s trying to back down from the emperor thing and live a quiet life pursing his scientific research. He’s on a grocery store run when his reptilian Venusian arch-enemy arrives, Commander Zala. She wants to take him into protective custody, much to his surprise (he was expecting her to ‘bring him to justice’). Venusian intelligence has discovered a plot to assassinate Mollusk, and she considers it her duty to protect him until he is legally sentenced to death in Venusian court. Mollusk has no intention of going to Venus just to avoid another minor assassination attempt, so Zala assigns herself and her team as his bodyguards. The first attempt comes at his townhouse, and Mollusk, Zala and Mollusk’s faithful pet ultrapede (evil geniuses need disgusting pets) are soon investigating a trail of sinister clues that take them through classic B-movie sets as they seek to uncover the assassin and foil his sinister plot to rule the universe.
“While under normal circumstances, challenging the space-time continuum sounded like fun, I had a planet to save.”
Mollusk represents the ultimate in the scientific pursuit of information. Unfortunately, he occasionally displays a notable lack of judgement:
“I also thought storing my most dangerous technology on a dimensionally unstable island full of mutant dinosaurs would be safe. Much as it pains me to admit it, I do make my share of mistakes.”
Emperor Mollusk essentially follows a linear time frame, but does have a few interludes from his past that give a little insight into his complex character. Martinez achieves a perfect first-person narrative voice–dry, analytical and amazingly egocentric, he achieves a perfectly believable arch-villain. However, he’s also somewhat sympathetic, through a very dry sense of humor and an awareness of his social failings. He is not entirely sure how to compensate, despite his formidable brain. Still, he’s glad of Zala’s company, even if he doesn’t trust her: “In a chaotic equation, she was among the constants. It was nice to have something to rely on.”
Martinez does a nice job of playing with the conventions of sci-fi/hero movies, giving them a broad wink in his writing:
“‘It’s a plan,’ I said. ‘Just not a very good one. If you have a better one, please share it.’
Zala’s feathers ruffled. She waved her arms in a sweeping gesture around the lab. ‘Use this. Do something. Notice some tiny detail. Jump to some ridiculous conclusion. Do what you do, Emperor.’“
There’s load of clever wordplay, often based on the absurdity of the set-up:
“He turned and led us to our suite. The unspoken understanding was that none of this was free, but a cephalopod of refinement didn’t comment on such things.”
“‘It’s an interesting theory,’ she agreed, ‘but there’s an old Venusian adage. ‘The hungriest clug can eat frot-shaped stones all day.’
‘I’m familiar with the expression.’
‘Then I trust I don’t have to explain it to you. Seeing as how you are so much smarter than I.'”
Giggle. Yes, it’s a variety of parody. But it’s elevated above simple mocking by heart, fun characterization, and an anti-buddy antagonist coupling that was fun to watch. And, I shudder to admit it, but I rather liked the ultrapede and her tendency to shriek with enthusiasm. Martinez surprised me with what he did, and I ended up devouring the book in a day. Consider it highly recommended, with the caveat that it be read with tongue firmly in cheek.
The denouement, like all super-villain plots, was needlessly complicated, but Martinez completely make me laugh out loud with the sidekick summation:
[for heaven’s sake, people, SPOILER!]
“You were tricking them into thinking they were tricking you into thinking you were tricking them into tricking you?“
February 9, 2017
Totally satisfying. :)
I was just saying to myself... I need something hilariously funny SF filled with an extra-heaping dose of a tentacled-monster-crazy-mad-scientist-genius in a tricked-out exo-suit. Hell, I needed a huge dose of quick-fire funny SF tropes skewering all the old Flash Gordon and 30's adventures, and I needed it all from the PoV of the mastermind villain. :)
I didn't even know that I needed this so much. But I did. And it filled my soul right after it removed my brain and added a few modifications to it before returning it safely in my meat-suit.
I mean, what else can you expect? Ennui after successfully conquering earth?
Screw that. Earth is too much trouble. I mean, sure, I've grown a bit fond of them after the years and my younger clone wants a shot at them, but no, they're MINE. :)
And that's just how it starts. :) What we actually get is a rip-roaring adventure of Emperor Mollusk of Earth finding him in the unenviable position of having to become a *gasp* hero and save the terrans from The Sinister Brain. (That happened to come from the future knowing everything that the Emperor would do and spoiling his every move.)
Ennui? Hell, no time for that! No one is smarter than the Emperor Mollusk!
But don't worry if you would prefer not to stay on earth. Every planet has their race of Alien Monstrosities and death rays and galactic empires, and can't they Just Stay Out of his problems? No, no, of course not. Enemies become friends, and smart adventure abounds. :)
Totally popcorn. Totally delightful. I read this with a grin plastered across my face the entire time. :)
*jiggledance*
I think, perhaps, that A. Lee Martinez might be one of the smartest, most delightful B-Movie humorists out there. Just a pure entertainer. :)
I was just saying to myself... I need something hilariously funny SF filled with an extra-heaping dose of a tentacled-monster-crazy-mad-scientist-genius in a tricked-out exo-suit. Hell, I needed a huge dose of quick-fire funny SF tropes skewering all the old Flash Gordon and 30's adventures, and I needed it all from the PoV of the mastermind villain. :)
I didn't even know that I needed this so much. But I did. And it filled my soul right after it removed my brain and added a few modifications to it before returning it safely in my meat-suit.
I mean, what else can you expect? Ennui after successfully conquering earth?
Screw that. Earth is too much trouble. I mean, sure, I've grown a bit fond of them after the years and my younger clone wants a shot at them, but no, they're MINE. :)
And that's just how it starts. :) What we actually get is a rip-roaring adventure of Emperor Mollusk of Earth finding him in the unenviable position of having to become a *gasp* hero and save the terrans from The Sinister Brain. (That happened to come from the future knowing everything that the Emperor would do and spoiling his every move.)
Ennui? Hell, no time for that! No one is smarter than the Emperor Mollusk!
But don't worry if you would prefer not to stay on earth. Every planet has their race of Alien Monstrosities and death rays and galactic empires, and can't they Just Stay Out of his problems? No, no, of course not. Enemies become friends, and smart adventure abounds. :)
Totally popcorn. Totally delightful. I read this with a grin plastered across my face the entire time. :)
*jiggledance*
I think, perhaps, that A. Lee Martinez might be one of the smartest, most delightful B-Movie humorists out there. Just a pure entertainer. :)
October 4, 2013
"But, history is written by the winners. Especially winners with access to global mind control devices."
This line toward the beginning of the book is just one of the many lines from Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain that had me chuckling to myself.
Emperor Mollusk is a Neptunan who has done it all when it comes to defeating and subjugating races, ruling in tyranny and oppression, and downright being evil. Neptunans are the most intelligent of the solar system, at least according to them (and that's really all that matters right?), but kind of all look the same, in fact they can barely tell each other apart, let alone who their clones are, and they are mollusks (think octopus for those like me who didn't love biology classes).
Of course it gets boring after a while being the mad genius and having everyone around you worship the ground you allow your mechanical suit to walk on. That is until someone tries to assassinate you. I guess that's not all true because one of the things I found hilarious was how Emperor Mollusk keeps walking into dangerous situations because he actually thinks there's no way for anyone to outsmart him.
Then there are the different societies based on which planet they are from. Minor spoiler warning for this sentence: Those from essentially Earth are highly litigious (of course) and there's a great scene where they save the day and in going to help one of the wounded, a law suit is threatened.
This was a really fun book and my first by the author, I will definitely be going back to A. Lee Martinez in the future. There are some authors who can just go from one line to the next and keep you not only amused but chucking from time to time. A few I can think of are Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams and I'm in awe of their talent. Martinez may not be quite to their level, but he's right up there.
Here's another where Mollusk is attacked by a group of Venusians who are a highly honor-bound society who won't give up no matter how difficult the task or how much they are injured:
"The female did give me a kick. Considering she could barely breath that's probably worth a commendation or something. 'Bravery in the face of foolish short-sightedness' or something. I assume there's such an award on Venus though it probably has a less accurate name."
I think these lines were even better because of the great job Scott Aiello does in this audiobook. He's got Mollusk's sharp, but oblivious character down pat. One of the signs of a great narrator is when you stop noticing he's even there and that's Aiello all the way.
Emperor Mollusk is a hilarious character, this book kept reminding me of the movie Megamind with Will Farrell and I'm sure you can guess why if you've seen it (highly recommended btw!). Again, this will not be my last Martinez book, I'm looking forward to jumping into the rest.
4 out of 5 Stars (highly recommended)
April 17, 2018
Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain is silly, charming and fairly amusing. It’s an easy, light-hearted read that I enjoyed a bit more than the other Martinez book that I've read Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest
The premise is an entertaining one. Our anti-hero Emperor Mollusk is an evil genius from Neptune who conquered the Earth with ease. In fact, it was so easy and his rule was so undisputed that he became bored. He retired as ruler but craves challenges so instead of more conquering (which is messy), he turns to exploring diverse mad scientific pursuits just for shits and giggles. As well as occasionally defending the Earth from other invaders because he feels a sense of responsibility for the world he once conquered. And well…
In EMVTSB, Mollusk teams up with his former foe, a lizard warrior from Venus, and his pet, an unkillable giant centipede, to fight another evil genius who has some extra extra evil plans in motion. Can this “Sinister Brain” be stopped. Well, duh, what do you think?
EMVTSB has a few laughs and is a bit of modest fun. *Shrugs*
The premise is an entertaining one. Our anti-hero Emperor Mollusk is an evil genius from Neptune who conquered the Earth with ease. In fact, it was so easy and his rule was so undisputed that he became bored. He retired as ruler but craves challenges so instead of more conquering (which is messy), he turns to exploring diverse mad scientific pursuits just for shits and giggles. As well as occasionally defending the Earth from other invaders because he feels a sense of responsibility for the world he once conquered. And well…
In EMVTSB, Mollusk teams up with his former foe, a lizard warrior from Venus, and his pet, an unkillable giant centipede, to fight another evil genius who has some extra extra evil plans in motion. Can this “Sinister Brain” be stopped. Well, duh, what do you think?
EMVTSB has a few laughs and is a bit of modest fun. *Shrugs*
February 23, 2022
Actual rating: 2.5 stars.
As far as evil overlords go, I'm afraid that my boyfriend Gar the Pitiless has ruined me forever. Granted, this Mollusk here had potential (most notably because his ancestors once shared my murderous kids' natural habitat), but he is thoroughly lacking in the MUAHAHAHAHA department and his adventures are boring as fish. (The guy is obviously a complete amateur when it comes to viciously devious shenanigans.) Oh, and it probably doesn't help that the dialogues with his reluctant sidekick/bodyguard/minion/whatever are repetitive as shrimp. So much so that it feels like you're reading the same conversation over and over and over and over again . Oh, and you don't want to get me started on how hilariously hilarious Mollusk's adventures are supposed to be. No you don't.
Need I say more? Didn't think so. Bye and stuff.
Audio note: the reluctant sidekick/bodyguard/minion/whatever's ever-exasperated tone of voice is exasperating as fish. You're welcome.
[Pre-review nonsense]
This one sounded pretty promising. Oh yes, it did. Very much indeed.
➽ Review to come and stuff.
As far as evil overlords go, I'm afraid that my boyfriend Gar the Pitiless has ruined me forever. Granted, this Mollusk here had potential (most notably because his ancestors once shared my murderous kids' natural habitat), but he is thoroughly lacking in the MUAHAHAHAHA department and his adventures are boring as fish. (The guy is obviously a complete amateur when it comes to viciously devious shenanigans.) Oh, and it probably doesn't help that the dialogues with his reluctant sidekick/bodyguard/minion/whatever are repetitive as shrimp. So much so that it feels like you're reading the same conversation over and over and over and over again . Oh, and you don't want to get me started on how hilariously hilarious Mollusk's adventures are supposed to be. No you don't.
Need I say more? Didn't think so. Bye and stuff.
Audio note: the reluctant sidekick/bodyguard/minion/whatever's ever-exasperated tone of voice is exasperating as fish. You're welcome.
[Pre-review nonsense]
This one sounded pretty promising. Oh yes, it did. Very much indeed.
➽ Review to come and stuff.
May 19, 2012
A delightful bit of pulp fun. Such a pleasure to read after slogging through a few urban fantasies that took themselves too seriously and "cerebral" SF that, IMO, was just tedious. Just a word of warning up front. The title should give readers a clue of how truly over the top this novel is, but in case it hasn't: Giant jelly monsters, transdimensional catpeople, Venusian warriors, giant insects, invasions from Saturn and mysterious death cults. Those are just a few of the things readers will run into in this story.
Emperor Mollusk is a villain who has achieved his goal of world domination . . . and has become bored with it all. But retiring isn't really an option when assassins are targeting you and bringing your own evil creations into play against you. Now Mollusk must defeat his enemies and win the day . . .
This was a romp. I enjoyed it far too much to consider putting it down and read it straight through. I will admit the plotting got a little . . . twisty at the end. Though that usually happens when time travel is involved. If your a fan of B movie SF and pulp fiction about monsters and mad scientists, this will probably be worth your time to read, especially if you need a break from all things serious.
Seems like I may have to look up the author's other works and read them!
Emperor Mollusk is a villain who has achieved his goal of world domination . . . and has become bored with it all. But retiring isn't really an option when assassins are targeting you and bringing your own evil creations into play against you. Now Mollusk must defeat his enemies and win the day . . .
This was a romp. I enjoyed it far too much to consider putting it down and read it straight through. I will admit the plotting got a little . . . twisty at the end. Though that usually happens when time travel is involved. If your a fan of B movie SF and pulp fiction about monsters and mad scientists, this will probably be worth your time to read, especially if you need a break from all things serious.
Seems like I may have to look up the author's other works and read them!
January 6, 2021
Pretty seriously over the top, but worked for me. Martinez basically used every world-domination superhero comic-book cliche he could think of, and maybe even invented a couple of new ones. You know you're in good hands when, on the first page, the Emperor remarks that he could have programmed his ship's autoguns for louder explosions, but that would have "cheapened the experience".
OK, on to my notes. You never know with humor, and this is my first Lee Martinez. I hope he has some others as good.... I'd place Emperor Mollusk as the book "Ready Player One" was trying to be, if wossisname could write characters I cared about and/or a believably absurd plotline. Martinez effort has the other one beat all hollow, IMO. *Very* cool book.
I think the way to try it, if your public library doesn't have a copy, would be the Kindle sample. If the first couple of chapters don't grab you, go read something else. Mind, there are some (pretty minor) sags along the way, but Martinez comes back strong at the wrapup! 4.4 stars.
Carol's is the long review you want to read:
https://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2014/...
Thanks, Carol! Er, carol.
OK, on to my notes. You never know with humor, and this is my first Lee Martinez. I hope he has some others as good.... I'd place Emperor Mollusk as the book "Ready Player One" was trying to be, if wossisname could write characters I cared about and/or a believably absurd plotline. Martinez effort has the other one beat all hollow, IMO. *Very* cool book.
I think the way to try it, if your public library doesn't have a copy, would be the Kindle sample. If the first couple of chapters don't grab you, go read something else. Mind, there are some (pretty minor) sags along the way, but Martinez comes back strong at the wrapup! 4.4 stars.
Carol's is the long review you want to read:
https://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2014/...
Thanks, Carol! Er, carol.
November 12, 2013
This book was kind of cute, kind of funny, kind of clever. It had a lot of good comic-booky, pulpy gags and settings. It had battle mechs controlled by disembodied brains, lizard people from Venus, a lost world-type island with ridiculous dinosaurs, the lost city of Atlantis, etc, etc.. You get the idea.
It moved along at a fast enough clip, but it wasn't a page-turner really. Because it was a farce, and all of the characters were cartoonish, and because you never got the sense that the villain/hero would ultimately do anything but triumph, there was little, if any, real suspense or emotional investment to keep you compulsively flipping the pages.
I can certainly respect this writer for the quality of the writing and for what he was trying to do here, but it was pretty clear that he wasn't doing it for me. I'm just not the target audience.
Why did I pick this up, if this isn't my cup of tea?
Well, I've heard a lot of good things about this author and he dedicates the book (in part) to Victor von Doom.
I do love Doctor Doom.
It moved along at a fast enough clip, but it wasn't a page-turner really. Because it was a farce, and all of the characters were cartoonish, and because you never got the sense that the villain/hero would ultimately do anything but triumph, there was little, if any, real suspense or emotional investment to keep you compulsively flipping the pages.
I can certainly respect this writer for the quality of the writing and for what he was trying to do here, but it was pretty clear that he wasn't doing it for me. I'm just not the target audience.
Why did I pick this up, if this isn't my cup of tea?
Well, I've heard a lot of good things about this author and he dedicates the book (in part) to Victor von Doom.
I do love Doctor Doom.
December 28, 2016
“Intelligence is neutral. Application is everything.”
I see the universe as a grand mystery,” I replied.
“One that you can exploit as you see fit,” she said.
“I prefer to think of it as experimentation for the greater good.”
She spit out a harsh laugh. “Define the greater good, Mollusk.”
“I can’t. That’s one of the mysteries I’m working on.”
I projected an equation on a viewscreen on the wall.
“I thought I had a passable proof for a few hours. Then I found I dropped a seven, and the results became meaningless. But I’m optimistic enough in my own brilliance to think I can still crack the problem.”
“You can’t honestly view morality as an experimental process.”
“Why should it be any different than anything else? At least I’m honest enough to admit that I haven’t found the answer yet instead of arbitrarily declaring X is dishonorable while Y is not.”
-RTC_
May 5, 2014
ha ha ha. I think the ending went on a little too long, but I loved the story!
A guy you can love to hate and a cast of characters that had me grinning from ear to ear as they were introduced. The narration is not to be missed and five stars to Scott Aiello.
A guy you can love to hate and a cast of characters that had me grinning from ear to ear as they were introduced. The narration is not to be missed and five stars to Scott Aiello.
October 17, 2017
This was a fun listen. The Story was entertaining, the characters had a sense of Humor I appreciate very much and the Narration was very well done.
June 7, 2013
I think I have a new crush... and it's on a mollusk. Yes, you read that correctly. This book is a mix of humor, science fiction, space saga, alien invsasion, and deliciousness that I savored as the pages clicked by. Emperor Mollusk is a narcissistic, obsessive, compulsive, dry-humored, slimy, squishy, straight-talking mollusk that doesn't beat around the bush. He. Is. Amazing.
His other companions are loveable as well, just not in an encompassingly awesome way as Mollusk. In some ways I wanted them to get together, but realized this would be impossible. Love does not conquer all... and that's ok. This is a coming of age story of sorts. It is a fun, quick read that will at times challenge your views on things but in an inconsequential way. At times I felt the story was rushed or that I'd read this storyline somewhere before; however this does not take away from the experience. Overall this is a highly enjoyable read and I have a new crush. Read this book!
His other companions are loveable as well, just not in an encompassingly awesome way as Mollusk. In some ways I wanted them to get together, but realized this would be impossible. Love does not conquer all... and that's ok. This is a coming of age story of sorts. It is a fun, quick read that will at times challenge your views on things but in an inconsequential way. At times I felt the story was rushed or that I'd read this storyline somewhere before; however this does not take away from the experience. Overall this is a highly enjoyable read and I have a new crush. Read this book!
July 20, 2012
This review has minor and thematic spoilers, though nothing is spoiled overtly:
A Lee Martinez is trying to walk a fine line in this book, writing an incredibly intelligent, egotistical villain on one hand and a likable character on the other hand. He doesn't always succeed. Intelligent and egotistical villain? Always. Likable character? Shiftier ground. Still, he does better than most authors with the double bind of trying to write a story from a villain's point of view that is both likable and NOT a redemption arc.
The problem is ultimately that the book doesn't go anywhere. We end right where we started, at least as far as earth and the characters are concerned. There are subtle differences, but none of them are enough to really matter, which leads the ending to fall a bit flat. I feel a bit like we got the part of the story before the part of the story where the characters actually have to make choices and evolve.
I think the reason it never goes anywhere is that the book never lets Zala shine. She is mostly set up as someone for Emperor Mollusk to talk to, sharp enough to ask questions and keep running sarcasm, but not nearly smart enough to be in the same league as Emperor Mollusk. She fills a role in the story and it's a good role which she fills well, playing off of Emperor Mollusk like a champ. But she never gets to come into her own. She has some good moments, yes, but Mollusk quickly walks all over them. And because Zala is kept to the sidelines and not allowed to develop into a character, the story falls flat, since so much of the subtext in the story is about their relationship.
Instead of real character, their relationship and the changes in it are left to subtlety and nearly lost. Yes, things are a bit different at the end. Mollusk has become very fond of Zala. Zala has come to better understand Emperor Mollusk. But fundamentally, they are both in the exact same place. And it can't change until there is genuine respect on both sides. Not just respect for Zala's skills as a warrior or for Mollusk's braininess. But genuine respect for each other as people first.
Also, by the end of chapter four, we've already fought a giant biomechanical gelatinous squid beast in Atlantis and once you've jumped that shark, nuking the fridge just doesn't have the same charm.
Still, the book has some fun moments and if you want a ridiculous romp through a pulpy comic-esque world with some charmingly gray characters, give it a read.
And I kind of want a Snarg.
A Lee Martinez is trying to walk a fine line in this book, writing an incredibly intelligent, egotistical villain on one hand and a likable character on the other hand. He doesn't always succeed. Intelligent and egotistical villain? Always. Likable character? Shiftier ground. Still, he does better than most authors with the double bind of trying to write a story from a villain's point of view that is both likable and NOT a redemption arc.
The problem is ultimately that the book doesn't go anywhere. We end right where we started, at least as far as earth and the characters are concerned. There are subtle differences, but none of them are enough to really matter, which leads the ending to fall a bit flat. I feel a bit like we got the part of the story before the part of the story where the characters actually have to make choices and evolve.
I think the reason it never goes anywhere is that the book never lets Zala shine. She is mostly set up as someone for Emperor Mollusk to talk to, sharp enough to ask questions and keep running sarcasm, but not nearly smart enough to be in the same league as Emperor Mollusk. She fills a role in the story and it's a good role which she fills well, playing off of Emperor Mollusk like a champ. But she never gets to come into her own. She has some good moments, yes, but Mollusk quickly walks all over them. And because Zala is kept to the sidelines and not allowed to develop into a character, the story falls flat, since so much of the subtext in the story is about their relationship.
Instead of real character, their relationship and the changes in it are left to subtlety and nearly lost. Yes, things are a bit different at the end. Mollusk has become very fond of Zala. Zala has come to better understand Emperor Mollusk. But fundamentally, they are both in the exact same place. And it can't change until there is genuine respect on both sides. Not just respect for Zala's skills as a warrior or for Mollusk's braininess. But genuine respect for each other as people first.
Also, by the end of chapter four, we've already fought a giant biomechanical gelatinous squid beast in Atlantis and once you've jumped that shark, nuking the fridge just doesn't have the same charm.
Still, the book has some fun moments and if you want a ridiculous romp through a pulpy comic-esque world with some charmingly gray characters, give it a read.
And I kind of want a Snarg.
May 17, 2012
That's right, I gave it 5 stars. I loved the main character. I completely understood his motivation and the story unfolded beautifully. I found myself reading particularly funny segments to my wife. I love books written from a different perspective. The anti-hero has been done to death. This is the story of the unapologetic former conqueror of earth, Emperor Mollusk. And I love him for it.
August 10, 2012
Recently I reviewed Mr. Martinez’s tale of how a seven foot tall battle robot was able to win friends and influence people all while suffering from a chronosynclastic infundibulum. Okay, I am bending the truth a bit, but “The Automatic Detective” was a good yarn, even if the hero wasn’t suffering from his equivalent of a virus cold. But don’t take these few words for it, go ahead and read the review – or – better yet, read the book.
When I stumble on a new author (did I mention that I saw a reference to “TAD” on goodreads, which is why I read it) there’s always the chance that they are the literary form of the “one-hit wonder”. I was very pleased to discover that our author has a quiver full of arrows and knows how to put them down and write! I wasn’t sure when or what my next book by Mr. Martinez would be, but then I saw this book, “Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain” and knew that this was the one. In fact, I jumped it ahead of several others just to discover how many notes our wordsmith could command.
I quite literally could not put it down. That’s right folks, the book shot out tentacles made of words and affixed itself deep within me. Like fresh-squeezed orange juice, it is refreshing, pulpy, and good for you!
This book (we'll call it, “EMVTSB”) is inventive, fun and very quickly-paced. So was “TAD”, but this book also feels “campier”. Yes, there was a race of aliens and a spaceship in “TAD”, but in “EMVTSB” everyone that counts is an alien. (That is except for the council of egos, which is full of humans. Well, human brains that is.)
The interplay between the Emperor and his Venusian (or as Isaac Asimov once proposed (to follow proper Latin forms, “Venerian”) sidekick/antagonist/protector is priceless. Here’s an excerpt from page 30. (So many passages, so little space.) Snarg by the way, is the one who actually likes the Emperor.
******
By the time I checked on Zala and Snarg, the situation was well in hand. My living room was sliced to pieces, but neither was harmed. Zala didn’t have a scratch on her. Snarg has a few wounds, but nothing significant. The augmented armor of an ultrapede was made of sterner stuff.
“I kept one alive.” Zala ground her heel into the assassin’s chest. “For questioning.”
Snarg brought a soldier’s head, dropped it at my feet, and clicked sweetly at me.
“That’s a good girl.” I patted her on the thorax, took the head. “You can keep this one.” I tossed it across the room. She scampered gleefully after it, where she devoured it in loud, crunching bites.
Zala scowled.
“I didn’t think you Venusians had such delicate sensibilities,” I said.
“The dead deserve more dignity than to be fed to your pet.”
“Hopefully, the dead are past concerns to their dignity.”
******
See, the prose could almost be described as “lurid” (in the non-sexual way. Sorry, folks.). But wait, there’s more!
This is a short book and it reads as if it is shorter still. And yet, there is character development: ideas are discussed, insights are found, and points of view (for the characters) shift, blend and evolve. Even the inarticulate have depths that receive some daylight. (Snarg does a lot of emoting, shown by drooling on people, chirping, rubbing its carapace against someone, and mostly by not biting your head off.)
The book jumps around interspersing episodes from when the Emperor was the conqueror and Warlord of Earth with his present-day self. I could see how that might make some readers think the book is too choppy, but it didn’t bother me. In fact, I can’t see how the author could build up our perspective (and sympathy) for our hyper-intelligent, but all-too-fallible tentacled protagonist in a better manner.
Here’s another excerpt (from page 140) to illustrate that character growth I was talking about.
******
Zala drew her scimitar and practiced a few swings to see how her arm responded. “He had that before. It didn’t seem to bother you before.”
“That’s because I assumed I was smarter than him.”
“Are you saying you’re not so certain now?”
I didn’t answer, and she lowered her weapon.
“Emperor, are you telling me you think he might be smarter than you?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly.
“This can’t be the first time you’ve considered the possibility there might be someone capable of outwitting you. There are billions of intelligent life-forms in the system. I’m no scientist, but I would think it would seem statistically unlikely you could be smarter than all of them all of the time.”
I stroked Snarg’s antennae. “I’m aware of that. Intellectually.”
But now you have indisputable proof. For the first time in your life, you have to admit that someone was smarter than you. No way to deny it, is there?”
I didn’t answer, which was an answer in itself.
“I thought you were made of sterner stuff, Emperor.” She pushed the smile from her face and joined me at the window.
“You were beaten. Humiliated. Your defeat was devastating and total. You failed on every level.” She stifled a smirk as she smoothed her feathers. “It happens.”
“Not to me.”
She shook her head. “It happens to everyone. So for once, just this once, you were not in charge of your destiny. You weren’t the one making the decisions. You overconfidently blundered into a fight you couldn’t win and learned a hard lesson. No matter how gifted you are, no matter how smart and powerful and capable, you’re going to lose sometimes. You can’t win every battle. Even you, brilliant as you are” --- I appreciated that she refrained from using any sarcasm in the word brilliant --- “will make mistakes. And, yes, that was a big one.”
“But you’re still alive. You’re still a genius who can build a doomsday device out of wool, coconuts, and cardboard. So maybe the Brain is smarter than you. So what? So what if he handed you a crushing defeat. And I think we can both admit it was crushing.”
“You’re really enjoying this.”
“It was almost worth getting killed to watch,” she admitted. “Almost.”
She said, “Do you want to know why I laughed at the cave, Emperor?” She clasped me on the shoulder and smiled, without malice. With perhaps a smidgeon of genuine affection.”
******
I could go on from there, but I wanted to call your attention to three points.
First, “Zala” is a sworn enemy and sworn protector (at least for the moment) of the Emperor. She and her planet (in fact every planet in the solar system does) have a deep grudge against the Emperor.
Second, she’s a warrior (one demoted because of a prior run-in with you-know-who) and so such practical, battlefield psychology would be part of her stock-in-trade as a commander. And in this passage she gets to rub it in while trying to bolster his confidence (in her own rough-hewn ways) which you’d think would be pretty standard for this little scene (and yes, the defeat really was a whopper.)
Third, instead of just keeping it pro-forma, she lets her anger go long enough to show that she really means it (oh, the fun resurfaces very quickly, mind you) which isn’t strictly necessary to keep the action and plot rolling. Instead, it will continue to grow to the point where the Emperor and Zala have mutual respect if not admiration.
Without giving up the witty repartee for a moment, he adds a little soul-searching. Elsewhere, he even puts in a bit or two of morality, just as he did in the previous book I have read. It’s inventive even when he’s wholesale stealing clichés, ideas, or plot lines. Maybe practice really does make perfect. This book is a gem and so far he’s 2-for-2.
The end of the novel is a bit of a wild romp. I mean, more so than the rest of the book. The plot, villains and future of Planet Earth get wrapped up very neatly indeed, in a cheesy sort of way. But that’s just what this book is: a big chunk of cheese that might be smelly to some, but heavenly to others. Here’s looking forward to my next book.
Note: After reading “TAD” I confess I looked up the author’s website to see if there was a sequel to “The Automatic Detective”. Apparently sequels are not something Mr. Martinez does, but I did see some further adventures of “Mack” that I will be getting around to someday.
When I stumble on a new author (did I mention that I saw a reference to “TAD” on goodreads, which is why I read it) there’s always the chance that they are the literary form of the “one-hit wonder”. I was very pleased to discover that our author has a quiver full of arrows and knows how to put them down and write! I wasn’t sure when or what my next book by Mr. Martinez would be, but then I saw this book, “Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain” and knew that this was the one. In fact, I jumped it ahead of several others just to discover how many notes our wordsmith could command.
I quite literally could not put it down. That’s right folks, the book shot out tentacles made of words and affixed itself deep within me. Like fresh-squeezed orange juice, it is refreshing, pulpy, and good for you!
This book (we'll call it, “EMVTSB”) is inventive, fun and very quickly-paced. So was “TAD”, but this book also feels “campier”. Yes, there was a race of aliens and a spaceship in “TAD”, but in “EMVTSB” everyone that counts is an alien. (That is except for the council of egos, which is full of humans. Well, human brains that is.)
The interplay between the Emperor and his Venusian (or as Isaac Asimov once proposed (to follow proper Latin forms, “Venerian”) sidekick/antagonist/protector is priceless. Here’s an excerpt from page 30. (So many passages, so little space.) Snarg by the way, is the one who actually likes the Emperor.
******
By the time I checked on Zala and Snarg, the situation was well in hand. My living room was sliced to pieces, but neither was harmed. Zala didn’t have a scratch on her. Snarg has a few wounds, but nothing significant. The augmented armor of an ultrapede was made of sterner stuff.
“I kept one alive.” Zala ground her heel into the assassin’s chest. “For questioning.”
Snarg brought a soldier’s head, dropped it at my feet, and clicked sweetly at me.
“That’s a good girl.” I patted her on the thorax, took the head. “You can keep this one.” I tossed it across the room. She scampered gleefully after it, where she devoured it in loud, crunching bites.
Zala scowled.
“I didn’t think you Venusians had such delicate sensibilities,” I said.
“The dead deserve more dignity than to be fed to your pet.”
“Hopefully, the dead are past concerns to their dignity.”
******
See, the prose could almost be described as “lurid” (in the non-sexual way. Sorry, folks.). But wait, there’s more!
This is a short book and it reads as if it is shorter still. And yet, there is character development: ideas are discussed, insights are found, and points of view (for the characters) shift, blend and evolve. Even the inarticulate have depths that receive some daylight. (Snarg does a lot of emoting, shown by drooling on people, chirping, rubbing its carapace against someone, and mostly by not biting your head off.)
The book jumps around interspersing episodes from when the Emperor was the conqueror and Warlord of Earth with his present-day self. I could see how that might make some readers think the book is too choppy, but it didn’t bother me. In fact, I can’t see how the author could build up our perspective (and sympathy) for our hyper-intelligent, but all-too-fallible tentacled protagonist in a better manner.
Here’s another excerpt (from page 140) to illustrate that character growth I was talking about.
******
Zala drew her scimitar and practiced a few swings to see how her arm responded. “He had that before. It didn’t seem to bother you before.”
“That’s because I assumed I was smarter than him.”
“Are you saying you’re not so certain now?”
I didn’t answer, and she lowered her weapon.
“Emperor, are you telling me you think he might be smarter than you?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly.
“This can’t be the first time you’ve considered the possibility there might be someone capable of outwitting you. There are billions of intelligent life-forms in the system. I’m no scientist, but I would think it would seem statistically unlikely you could be smarter than all of them all of the time.”
I stroked Snarg’s antennae. “I’m aware of that. Intellectually.”
But now you have indisputable proof. For the first time in your life, you have to admit that someone was smarter than you. No way to deny it, is there?”
I didn’t answer, which was an answer in itself.
“I thought you were made of sterner stuff, Emperor.” She pushed the smile from her face and joined me at the window.
“You were beaten. Humiliated. Your defeat was devastating and total. You failed on every level.” She stifled a smirk as she smoothed her feathers. “It happens.”
“Not to me.”
She shook her head. “It happens to everyone. So for once, just this once, you were not in charge of your destiny. You weren’t the one making the decisions. You overconfidently blundered into a fight you couldn’t win and learned a hard lesson. No matter how gifted you are, no matter how smart and powerful and capable, you’re going to lose sometimes. You can’t win every battle. Even you, brilliant as you are” --- I appreciated that she refrained from using any sarcasm in the word brilliant --- “will make mistakes. And, yes, that was a big one.”
“But you’re still alive. You’re still a genius who can build a doomsday device out of wool, coconuts, and cardboard. So maybe the Brain is smarter than you. So what? So what if he handed you a crushing defeat. And I think we can both admit it was crushing.”
“You’re really enjoying this.”
“It was almost worth getting killed to watch,” she admitted. “Almost.”
She said, “Do you want to know why I laughed at the cave, Emperor?” She clasped me on the shoulder and smiled, without malice. With perhaps a smidgeon of genuine affection.”
******
I could go on from there, but I wanted to call your attention to three points.
First, “Zala” is a sworn enemy and sworn protector (at least for the moment) of the Emperor. She and her planet (in fact every planet in the solar system does) have a deep grudge against the Emperor.
Second, she’s a warrior (one demoted because of a prior run-in with you-know-who) and so such practical, battlefield psychology would be part of her stock-in-trade as a commander. And in this passage she gets to rub it in while trying to bolster his confidence (in her own rough-hewn ways) which you’d think would be pretty standard for this little scene (and yes, the defeat really was a whopper.)
Third, instead of just keeping it pro-forma, she lets her anger go long enough to show that she really means it (oh, the fun resurfaces very quickly, mind you) which isn’t strictly necessary to keep the action and plot rolling. Instead, it will continue to grow to the point where the Emperor and Zala have mutual respect if not admiration.
Without giving up the witty repartee for a moment, he adds a little soul-searching. Elsewhere, he even puts in a bit or two of morality, just as he did in the previous book I have read. It’s inventive even when he’s wholesale stealing clichés, ideas, or plot lines. Maybe practice really does make perfect. This book is a gem and so far he’s 2-for-2.
The end of the novel is a bit of a wild romp. I mean, more so than the rest of the book. The plot, villains and future of Planet Earth get wrapped up very neatly indeed, in a cheesy sort of way. But that’s just what this book is: a big chunk of cheese that might be smelly to some, but heavenly to others. Here’s looking forward to my next book.
Note: After reading “TAD” I confess I looked up the author’s website to see if there was a sequel to “The Automatic Detective”. Apparently sequels are not something Mr. Martinez does, but I did see some further adventures of “Mack” that I will be getting around to someday.
May 6, 2012
A. Lee Martinez had me at the first paragraph—well, I was hooked by the title, really, but I wasn't 100% convinced until I read this opening:
With Zala the warrior, a Venusian lizard-woman, as his foil, bodyguard and occasional antagonist, Emperor Mollusk ranges the Solar System—a much more colorful System than our own, full of ancient civilizations, where every planet is inhabited and every form of esoteric knowledge is realized somewhere. There were occasional intrusions of real science (as when Mollusk, as an octopuslike being, acknowledges that his tentacles have what amounts to minds of their own, just like our terrestrial octopus), but really this should be read as an exemplar of super-science fiction, straight out of the 1930s, pulpy and magnificently oblivious to the strictures of real-world physics, biology, and chemistry. In Martinez' kitchen-sink approach, if an idea sounds good—whether it's the radioactive brain of Marie Curie or a hundred-foot jelligantic rampaging through the highlands of Atlantis—it goes in.
The pace of the action never really flags, either. I ran into some odd proofreading gaffes, including one place (on p.277) where Martinez used "activated" where I'm sure he meant "evacuated," but on the whole this book was so compulsively readable that I could ignore such issues even when they occurred.
Maybe it's just Emperor Mollusk's mind-control making me say this (as a Terra Sapiens, I would of course have been susceptible as any other human to the methods by which Mollusk conquered Earth), but Martinez may have created that rarest of science-fictional beings: a brilliant mind who's actually brilliant... and funny and sympathetic to boot. Even if he never actually "ended WWII by punching out Gorilla Hitler" (p.222), he'd be a fascinating and—yes—even admirable character in a fascinating and even admirable book.
There's no sound in space, but my saucer cannons simulated a shriek with every blast. A swoosh followed every barrel roll. And when my autogunner scored a hit, a sophisticated program supplied the appropriate level of response, ranging from a simple ping to a full-fledged explosion. I could have programmed it to provide an explosion every time, but that would've cheapened the experience.That's Emperor Mollusk musing. You can tell he's a creature who loves his job. Being a supervillain and Warlord (former Warlord, please) of Terra are occupations that, traditionally, have led to a certain seriousness of demeanor, but Mollusk... well, he's having fun. You can tell. And it's contagious.
With Zala the warrior, a Venusian lizard-woman, as his foil, bodyguard and occasional antagonist, Emperor Mollusk ranges the Solar System—a much more colorful System than our own, full of ancient civilizations, where every planet is inhabited and every form of esoteric knowledge is realized somewhere. There were occasional intrusions of real science (as when Mollusk, as an octopuslike being, acknowledges that his tentacles have what amounts to minds of their own, just like our terrestrial octopus), but really this should be read as an exemplar of super-science fiction, straight out of the 1930s, pulpy and magnificently oblivious to the strictures of real-world physics, biology, and chemistry. In Martinez' kitchen-sink approach, if an idea sounds good—whether it's the radioactive brain of Marie Curie or a hundred-foot jelligantic rampaging through the highlands of Atlantis—it goes in.
The pace of the action never really flags, either. I ran into some odd proofreading gaffes, including one place (on p.277) where Martinez used "activated" where I'm sure he meant "evacuated," but on the whole this book was so compulsively readable that I could ignore such issues even when they occurred.
Maybe it's just Emperor Mollusk's mind-control making me say this (as a Terra Sapiens, I would of course have been susceptible as any other human to the methods by which Mollusk conquered Earth), but Martinez may have created that rarest of science-fictional beings: a brilliant mind who's actually brilliant... and funny and sympathetic to boot. Even if he never actually "ended WWII by punching out Gorilla Hitler" (p.222), he'd be a fascinating and—yes—even admirable character in a fascinating and even admirable book.
June 12, 2012
The problem with fantasy/sci-fi is that, if there's no limitations on the use of magic/technology (really one and the same at this point), the characters are effectively gods. This book suffers from that problem. Nothing seems to actually pose a challenge for "Emperor Mollusk," a guy that can invent a hurricane and lightning summoning machine overnight while simultaneously making a rusted out spacecraft space worthy once more. Among pretty much anything else.
It's not all bad. It's an interesting alternative earth, there are some amusing caricatures and references. The author seems to have put a respectable effort into developing their fictional cultures/societies. The characters are decent to good. But as a story, it fails. As a story, it doesn't give me a sense of struggle, the outcome never really seems to in doubt... even if overwhelming forces of mercenaries or dinosaurs are gunning right for the good Emperor. Most of the book was tedious. An easy read, but not a very interesting one. Things did pick up for a couple of scenes towards the end, but only a little.
Not recommended.
It's not all bad. It's an interesting alternative earth, there are some amusing caricatures and references. The author seems to have put a respectable effort into developing their fictional cultures/societies. The characters are decent to good. But as a story, it fails. As a story, it doesn't give me a sense of struggle, the outcome never really seems to in doubt... even if overwhelming forces of mercenaries or dinosaurs are gunning right for the good Emperor. Most of the book was tedious. An easy read, but not a very interesting one. Things did pick up for a couple of scenes towards the end, but only a little.
Not recommended.
March 30, 2012
Emperor Mollusk’s interplanetary warlording days are mostly over. Sure, he’s still universally worshipped on Earth, the planet he subjugated in the past, although that may have something to do with the mind-control technology he developed too. Still, his days of planet-hopping and mercilessly crushing any opposition are mostly over. Nowadays, he considers himself mostly retired and focuses on his true love: exploring the boundaries of insanely dangerous science. This occasionally results in technology that would allow less discerning galactic despots to crush entire civilizations under their heels, but still: for all intents and purposes, Mollusk is settling down. Until he discovers that actual retirement is not that easy to achieve for a former Warlord of Terra…
Read the entire review on my site Far Beyond Reality!
Read the entire review on my site Far Beyond Reality!
September 6, 2014
A fun, endearing, and silly romp through science fiction weirdness, starring a gigantic mollusk genius into world domination, his oversized pet centipede Snog and his reptilian Venusian bodyguard Zala. Add in an enormous cast of equally odd characters, including a huge omnivorous vegetable, a queen wrapped in blue bandages, a band of dinosaurs of species that never existed outside of this book, a disembodied brain (several actually), lunar beings (some large, some teensy), etc. etc. etc. There are also lots of strange plot twists involving time travel (I could have lived without some of these, but hey, nothing is perfect). If you need a light hearted read that doesn't take itself too seriously, this is the right medicine.
March 27, 2020
Although I'm a massive fan and reading all of Martinez's books, this one didn't quite do it for me. I just found it was one hi-tech battle after another and the technical sci-fi bragging of Emperor Mollusk slowed the story for me, rather than building it. I also found the backchat between the two protagonists a bit repetitive. The speed of the plot was very fast, from action to action, I prefer a steadier paced plot. It still had the quirks and humour of Martinez's craft, but was all a bit too "wordy" for my tastes. For the same reasons I didn't hugely enjoy it, others will love it. I'm now starting his A Nameless Witch
December 20, 2022
A. Lee Martinez writes the best first chapters in the biz. Great hooks, a real good hooker, a hooker I fell in love with and keep coming back to for 20 bucks a title.
2.5 stars. This book's all hooks.
2.5 stars. This book's all hooks.
April 2, 2013
It's like a smarter version of the movie Megamind. A quick, fun read.
September 10, 2013
Who knew? The Doctor regenerated as a Dalek, replaced K-9 with a centipede and protected Earth. What a romping good read.
August 19, 2017
More inspired silliness from A. Lee Martinez, this time in a re-imagined solar system where every planet is inhabited. Emperor Mollusk (previously "Warlord"), scientific genius, has conquered and settled on Earth where he is worshiped by the population after solving all of our problems, although some mind altering chemistry doesn't hurt. But having angered many of the other planets, he must now constantly defend his adopted home from invasion or outright destruction.
Enter a mysterious disembodied brain with a genius equal to that of Mollusk, and you have a quest to neutralize the Brain before it conquers not just the Earth , but the entire universe.
Another entertaining read from Martinez, who specializes in over-the-top scenarios.
Enter a mysterious disembodied brain with a genius equal to that of Mollusk, and you have a quest to neutralize the Brain before it conquers not just the Earth , but the entire universe.
Another entertaining read from Martinez, who specializes in over-the-top scenarios.
August 14, 2020
Notes:
Scott Aiello was great as the narrator. The story was a series of shorts strung together. Some were more interesting & creative than others. As a whole, this wasn't my fav ALM book but it did have interesting ideas & interpretations.
Scott Aiello was great as the narrator. The story was a series of shorts strung together. Some were more interesting & creative than others. As a whole, this wasn't my fav ALM book but it did have interesting ideas & interpretations.
December 5, 2021
I wanted something funny and I've read some titles by this author, so I figured this would satisfy. It did - sort of. Honestly, it felt like a lot of "oh no, what will we do?" situations that are somewhat resolved so we can move on to the next situation. I'd already figured out the ultimate "who is doing this to me?!" mystery by the time it's revealed.
I would rate this as a solid "Meh"
I would rate this as a solid "Meh"
April 9, 2012
ORIGINALLY POSTED AT Fantasy Literature.
Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That’s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even developed a soft spot (or should I say “softer spot”) for planet Earth, though he’ll be quick to tell you that he’s not reformed — just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earth’s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far he’s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.
Unfortunately, most of Emperor Mollusk’s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperor’s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination.
Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinez’s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. I’m rather picky about humorous fantasy so I’m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinez’s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we can’t help but love, even though he’s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us he’s an evil overlord.
Fans of Douglas Adams’ THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldn’t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time I’d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance — he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.
Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That’s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even developed a soft spot (or should I say “softer spot”) for planet Earth, though he’ll be quick to tell you that he’s not reformed — just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earth’s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far he’s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.
Unfortunately, most of Emperor Mollusk’s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperor’s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination.
Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinez’s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. I’m rather picky about humorous fantasy so I’m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinez’s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we can’t help but love, even though he’s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us he’s an evil overlord.
Fans of Douglas Adams’ THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldn’t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time I’d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance — he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.
September 12, 2017
See my other reviews at Never Enough Books
Emperor Mollusk – Mad genius. Conqueror and Destroyer of worlds. Intergalactic menace. And Ex-warlord of Earth.
Not too bad for a guy without a spine…or any bones.
But what is a super villain to do when he’s already done everything?
With no new ambitions – no new planets to conquer – Emperor Mollusk finds himself in a bit of a quandry. Retirement isn’t as simple as he thought it would be. While he would certainly prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of science, even that becomes boring after a while. So when the assassins of a legendary death cult come calling, Mollusk is eager for the challenge. Someone has their eye on Earth and Mollusk isn’t about to let the planet go so easily, especially in to the clutches of someone less capable of ruling than him!
Dear reader, in reading a book have you ever that should said book be made in to a movie (or even audio book) that a particular actor would be perfect for a particular role?
I found myself having just those thoughts while reading Emperor Mollusk. The great Emperor himself reminded me so much of Iron Man’s Tony Stark that should this anything be done with this book, if Robert Downey, Jr. isn’t cast as Emperor Mollusk, it would be a great shame.
In the character of Emperor Mollusk, Martinez has captured the dry wit and genius of Tony Stark and put it in the body of a spineless blob from Neptune. In the story itself, he takes the numerous tropes that peppered 50’s B-movies and combines them in a fast and funny tale. If there is one drawback, it is that the prose sometimes gets a bit bogged down with techno-babble. This especially happens towards the end however I didn’t find it too detracting from the story overall.
Fans of 50’s B-movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and wonderfully bad sci-fi in general should absolutely read this book. I greatly enjoyed Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain both times I read it and can only hope that Martinez will take us back to visit these characters again.
Emperor Mollusk – Mad genius. Conqueror and Destroyer of worlds. Intergalactic menace. And Ex-warlord of Earth.
Not too bad for a guy without a spine…or any bones.
But what is a super villain to do when he’s already done everything?
With no new ambitions – no new planets to conquer – Emperor Mollusk finds himself in a bit of a quandry. Retirement isn’t as simple as he thought it would be. While he would certainly prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of science, even that becomes boring after a while. So when the assassins of a legendary death cult come calling, Mollusk is eager for the challenge. Someone has their eye on Earth and Mollusk isn’t about to let the planet go so easily, especially in to the clutches of someone less capable of ruling than him!
Dear reader, in reading a book have you ever that should said book be made in to a movie (or even audio book) that a particular actor would be perfect for a particular role?
I found myself having just those thoughts while reading Emperor Mollusk. The great Emperor himself reminded me so much of Iron Man’s Tony Stark that should this anything be done with this book, if Robert Downey, Jr. isn’t cast as Emperor Mollusk, it would be a great shame.
In the character of Emperor Mollusk, Martinez has captured the dry wit and genius of Tony Stark and put it in the body of a spineless blob from Neptune. In the story itself, he takes the numerous tropes that peppered 50’s B-movies and combines them in a fast and funny tale. If there is one drawback, it is that the prose sometimes gets a bit bogged down with techno-babble. This especially happens towards the end however I didn’t find it too detracting from the story overall.
Fans of 50’s B-movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and wonderfully bad sci-fi in general should absolutely read this book. I greatly enjoyed Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain both times I read it and can only hope that Martinez will take us back to visit these characters again.
August 28, 2013
A really fun science fiction romp, probably reminiscent of pulp science fiction stories from yesteryear, but a lot more sophisticated. I say probably because I've never read any of the old pulp science fiction stories, but this book read like I imagined some of those stories might have read with a little more polish and plausibility. The science in this book is largely on the fictional side. It's the very big and grandiose science that only a super intelligent alien warlord could ever bring to our humble planet. The story goes from one dire situation to the next as Emperor Mollusk foils one assassination attempt after another while trying to figure out who's behind it all. I kind of guessed what was going on pretty early in the novel, but I still enjoyed the read. I got a little tired of some of the back and forth between Emperor Mollusk and Zala, who is trying to protect Emperor Mollusk only so she can bring him to justice on her home planet of Venus for his war crimes. Zala questioned every single move he made, so he constantly had to explain himself to her, which was the author's way of explaining things to the reader without pages of boring exposition. Things just seem more lively in dialogue, don't they? Another thing that irked me a little was that until the very end, there is very little human involvement, and even the final scenes barely qualify. This wouldn't have been much of an issue except that the entire novel takes place on Earth. It might have been nice to have a human along for the ride. I briefly considered giving this book four stars, but it was a very entertaining read, despite its faults. It kept me reading it even when I was really supposed to read something else. That's usually the case with an A. Lee Martinez book. Just enough wit and sarcasm to keep me curious.
October 30, 2014
So its "Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain" a good comedic scifi that introduces us to our favorite Neptunian. Lord Emperor Mollusk ex-Warlord of Earth and currently its defender. Mostly from his enemies not the Terra-sapiens, who have done nothing to anyone else in the System.
The thing is Emperor Mollusk conquered Earth the scientific way by brain-washing all Terra-sapiens. In the process discovering a number of anomalies on Earth that he tried to take advantage of but failed. Now they exist with additional equipment or inventions from Emperor Mollusk to prevent them from destroying Earth and the Solar System.
Accompanied by a Venusian warrior we get to see the complicated life of Emperor Mollusk why he quit being the ruler of Earth. The stories of past battles with the Saturnites. While incredibly interesting, it goes from a really fast beginning to a complicated middle and a glued together end.
This one deserves a 3.5 stars to make it justice. Can't be said its not entertaining. It is just slower then one expects toward the end.
SciFi readers will find it amusing and might think different. Give it a shot.
The thing is Emperor Mollusk conquered Earth the scientific way by brain-washing all Terra-sapiens. In the process discovering a number of anomalies on Earth that he tried to take advantage of but failed. Now they exist with additional equipment or inventions from Emperor Mollusk to prevent them from destroying Earth and the Solar System.
Accompanied by a Venusian warrior we get to see the complicated life of Emperor Mollusk why he quit being the ruler of Earth. The stories of past battles with the Saturnites. While incredibly interesting, it goes from a really fast beginning to a complicated middle and a glued together end.
This one deserves a 3.5 stars to make it justice. Can't be said its not entertaining. It is just slower then one expects toward the end.
SciFi readers will find it amusing and might think different. Give it a shot.
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