What do you think?
Rate this book
The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious
Her 70-year-old, cancer-stricken mother kills snakes with a broom. Her best friend believes in psychics and the Virgin Mary. Her new neighbor steals her CDs and her aunt sneaks cheese curls into the house. After seven years in New York, Lori Jakiela gives up her job as an international flight attendant and her dreams of becoming a writer, and returns home to Pittsburgh to take care of her dying mother. Always the loving, befuddled daughter, Jakiela stumbles to find her new life while sleeping in her childhood bed and teaching writing to students who hate to read. Unexpected love, expected loss, the struggle to find our own families, The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious is the story of mothers and daughters, the debts we pay, and the new lives we build for ourselves when we least expect them.
282 pages, Paperback
First published April 29, 2013
2 people are currently reading
498 people want to read
About the author
Lori Jakiela
19 books113 followersLori Jakiela is the author of seven books, including the memoir Belief Is Its Own Kind of Truth, Maybe, which received the Saroyan Prize for International Literature from Stanford University, was a finalist for the Community of Literary Magazines and Presses' Firecracker Award and the Housatonic Book Award, and was named one of 20 Not-To-Miss Nonfiction Books of 2015 by The Huffington Post.
Her most recent book, They Write Your Name on a Grain of Rice: On Cancer, Love, and Living Even So, is forthcoming from Atticus Books in October 2023.
Her most recent collection of poems, How Do You Like It Now, Gentlemen? Poems at Mid-Life, received the 2021 Wicked Woman Prize from Baltimore's Brickhouse Books and was a September 2022 Book Club Read
Her work has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, LA Cultural Weekly, Brevity, Chautauqua Magazine, Belt, and more. The actress Kristin Bell performed Jakiela's essay, "The Plain Unmarked Box Arrived," on The New York Times' Modern Love podcast on WBUR, and Jakiela has been featured on NPR and in PBS's "People Who Write Books Around Here," a documentary by Pittsburgh legend Rick Sebak.
Jakiela has performed her poems at Lollapalooza and was the winner of the first-ever Pittsburgh Literary Death Match.
Her work has been widely anthologized, most recently in The Best of Brevity: 20 Groundbreaking Years of Flash Nonfiction (ed. Zoe Bossiere and Dinty Moore).
A former international flight attendant, Jakiela directs the writing program at The University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg, teaches creative writing in the doctoral program at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, and leads many community workshops. For four years, she co-directed the Summer Writers Festival at Chautauqua Institution. She was a co-founder of Veterans Write, a program that offered free writing workshops to veterans and their families.
The recipient of multiple Golden Quill Awards from the Press Club of Western Pennsylvania, her column, "Let Yourself Go," appears regularly in Pittsburgh Magazine. She lives in her hometown--Trafford, Pennsylvania (the last stop in Pittsburgh's Electric Valley) --with her husband, the author Dave Newman, and their children.
Her most recent book, They Write Your Name on a Grain of Rice: On Cancer, Love, and Living Even So, is forthcoming from Atticus Books in October 2023.
Her most recent collection of poems, How Do You Like It Now, Gentlemen? Poems at Mid-Life, received the 2021 Wicked Woman Prize from Baltimore's Brickhouse Books and was a September 2022 Book Club Read
Her work has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, LA Cultural Weekly, Brevity, Chautauqua Magazine, Belt, and more. The actress Kristin Bell performed Jakiela's essay, "The Plain Unmarked Box Arrived," on The New York Times' Modern Love podcast on WBUR, and Jakiela has been featured on NPR and in PBS's "People Who Write Books Around Here," a documentary by Pittsburgh legend Rick Sebak.
Jakiela has performed her poems at Lollapalooza and was the winner of the first-ever Pittsburgh Literary Death Match.
Her work has been widely anthologized, most recently in The Best of Brevity: 20 Groundbreaking Years of Flash Nonfiction (ed. Zoe Bossiere and Dinty Moore).
A former international flight attendant, Jakiela directs the writing program at The University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg, teaches creative writing in the doctoral program at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, and leads many community workshops. For four years, she co-directed the Summer Writers Festival at Chautauqua Institution. She was a co-founder of Veterans Write, a program that offered free writing workshops to veterans and their families.
The recipient of multiple Golden Quill Awards from the Press Club of Western Pennsylvania, her column, "Let Yourself Go," appears regularly in Pittsburgh Magazine. She lives in her hometown--Trafford, Pennsylvania (the last stop in Pittsburgh's Electric Valley) --with her husband, the author Dave Newman, and their children.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
February 12, 2016
The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious is Jakiela’s second memoir, this time about her return to her childhood home–one that had “paintings [that] were a matching set–two big-eyed moppets dressed as harlequins” and “a crucifix the size of a ham”–to care for her mother, who has a weak heart and other health problems. Jakiela is in her 30s, but she is a single woman who loves the impermanence of her previous life as a flight attendant. She has been married before–for 8 weeks–to a man whom her mother deems enormous in height. Much of the memoir is colored by Jakiela being the only child her of parents–and she is adopted. Jeanette Winterson claims that being an adopted child is like being a book that has the first chapter ripped out. Jakiela might not agree. She appears to want to keep moving so that she is impermanent, perhaps invisible. The easiest way to sum up this memoir is that Jakiela returns to take care of her ill mother and ends when the mother inevitably passes away. Perhaps it is her mother’s illness that makes Jakiela visible, that her mother is a woman who makes Jakiela responsible for her own life, and to live it.
The first page of The Bridge shapes the way I read the whole book. Here, Jakiela describes her mother trying her best to keep from embarrassing her daughter, from coloring her hair to avoid looking like the “old mother,” to worrying that she won’t look smart in front of her daughter’s fellow faculty members at a dinner, to asking that no one come when she is sick. Jakiela responds, “My mother was smart. She was beautiful. It never occurred to me, no matter what, to be embarrassed of her. If I’d understood sooner, I like to think I would have tried to help. I like to think I would have told my mother all the good things she didn’t know about herself.” This simple, elegant beginning was enough to make my own heart tighten a bit, and I couldn’t wait to read on. I was surprised by a lot of what followed.
Near the first third of the book, Jakiela meets Dave Newman, whom her friend believes is perfect for the author. Dave Newman is a writer, too, one I reviewed before, oddly enough. I thought his book was fantastic, and so when I read that Jakiela’s Dave Newman was the same guy, it felt like someone tapping my shoulder when I thought no one was back there. There are many occasions that allow us to get a personal perspective of a writer, but two writers who are still alive and kicking in 2013 was uncanny and possibly one of my favorite aspects of the memoir (even when records of publication were used as tools of hurt/insult). The back of the book spoils it for us: Jakiela is married to Newman and they have two children; however, seeing how these two strong personalities come together and where Jakiela would decide to end her book kept me up reading long after my own husband had fallen asleep in bed next to me.
When Jakiela discovers she is pregnant with Newman’s child (despite using birth control) the two marry almost immediately. The celebration dinner that follows, which includes Jakiela, her mother, her aunt Thelma, and Newman, is like a funeral to the mother: “[My mother] would light me on fire if she could….There’s only so much a child can change for a mother. There are only so many ways to reinvent yourself before you have to own your life.”
While Jakiela’s mother almost seems out to torture her daughter–telling her she has a fat ass when she is pregnant, telling Jakiela she would never have gone out in public if she was pregnant and looked like her daughter, asking Jakiela to move out when Jakiela’s moved in to care for the ill mother–she’s also a smart woman who is right much of the time. A retired nurse, the mother has answers to medical questions about Jakiela’s and Newman’s baby when he is very sick, the same answers the doctors give. It’s impossible to “pick sides,” as if were are allowed to do so in life. Throughout it all, Jakiela is always faithful, always adapting to what life throws at her (she never ends up on that bridge one might take when things get serious). She never cuts off her mother completely, nor does she ever stop loving her.
Life is hectic and fast-paced in this book. The short chapters make it nearly impossible to want to stop (what happens next? and next? and next?). Far from gimmicky, the short chapters actually make this a memoir told in flashes (some a paragraph, some a few pages). While a reader must understand what’s come before to know what she is reading, the chapters stand alone in imagery, tone, and mood. One might be a flashback or a description of a moment or feeling. It might be a piece of what happened overall, a scene, but each is a beautifully crafted gem that demonstrates Jakiela’s skills as a writer.
I devoured this memoir, though I feel like I should have slowed down to appreciate Jakiela’s life more. Really, though, I don’t think she would want me to. The book contains a time period of immense change and great conflict, but also love, personal development, and a chance to learn about others. I want to thank Lori Jakiela for sending me this book for review and look forward to reading more of her work!
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels
The first page of The Bridge shapes the way I read the whole book. Here, Jakiela describes her mother trying her best to keep from embarrassing her daughter, from coloring her hair to avoid looking like the “old mother,” to worrying that she won’t look smart in front of her daughter’s fellow faculty members at a dinner, to asking that no one come when she is sick. Jakiela responds, “My mother was smart. She was beautiful. It never occurred to me, no matter what, to be embarrassed of her. If I’d understood sooner, I like to think I would have tried to help. I like to think I would have told my mother all the good things she didn’t know about herself.” This simple, elegant beginning was enough to make my own heart tighten a bit, and I couldn’t wait to read on. I was surprised by a lot of what followed.
Near the first third of the book, Jakiela meets Dave Newman, whom her friend believes is perfect for the author. Dave Newman is a writer, too, one I reviewed before, oddly enough. I thought his book was fantastic, and so when I read that Jakiela’s Dave Newman was the same guy, it felt like someone tapping my shoulder when I thought no one was back there. There are many occasions that allow us to get a personal perspective of a writer, but two writers who are still alive and kicking in 2013 was uncanny and possibly one of my favorite aspects of the memoir (even when records of publication were used as tools of hurt/insult). The back of the book spoils it for us: Jakiela is married to Newman and they have two children; however, seeing how these two strong personalities come together and where Jakiela would decide to end her book kept me up reading long after my own husband had fallen asleep in bed next to me.
When Jakiela discovers she is pregnant with Newman’s child (despite using birth control) the two marry almost immediately. The celebration dinner that follows, which includes Jakiela, her mother, her aunt Thelma, and Newman, is like a funeral to the mother: “[My mother] would light me on fire if she could….There’s only so much a child can change for a mother. There are only so many ways to reinvent yourself before you have to own your life.”
While Jakiela’s mother almost seems out to torture her daughter–telling her she has a fat ass when she is pregnant, telling Jakiela she would never have gone out in public if she was pregnant and looked like her daughter, asking Jakiela to move out when Jakiela’s moved in to care for the ill mother–she’s also a smart woman who is right much of the time. A retired nurse, the mother has answers to medical questions about Jakiela’s and Newman’s baby when he is very sick, the same answers the doctors give. It’s impossible to “pick sides,” as if were are allowed to do so in life. Throughout it all, Jakiela is always faithful, always adapting to what life throws at her (she never ends up on that bridge one might take when things get serious). She never cuts off her mother completely, nor does she ever stop loving her.
Life is hectic and fast-paced in this book. The short chapters make it nearly impossible to want to stop (what happens next? and next? and next?). Far from gimmicky, the short chapters actually make this a memoir told in flashes (some a paragraph, some a few pages). While a reader must understand what’s come before to know what she is reading, the chapters stand alone in imagery, tone, and mood. One might be a flashback or a description of a moment or feeling. It might be a piece of what happened overall, a scene, but each is a beautifully crafted gem that demonstrates Jakiela’s skills as a writer.
I devoured this memoir, though I feel like I should have slowed down to appreciate Jakiela’s life more. Really, though, I don’t think she would want me to. The book contains a time period of immense change and great conflict, but also love, personal development, and a chance to learn about others. I want to thank Lori Jakiela for sending me this book for review and look forward to reading more of her work!
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels
February 8, 2014
Miss New York has everything, until suddenly, she’s forced to take an abrupt leave from her job as a world-traveling, free roaming, flight attendant and return home to the gray skies of Pittsburgh. It is a few years after her father’s death. This time, it’s her mother; she’s ill and possibly dying. Her mother’s heart has suffered damage, and the dormant presence of breast cancer taunts from the background. At a slightly older age, and facing the imminent loss of her remaining parent, things have turned serious for Lori Jakiela, and the decision to return home warrants the title of her second memoir, “The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious.”
“The Bride to Take…” is the long awaited sequel to Jakiela’s debut memoir, “Miss New York Has Everything.” In it, she not only returns home from the Big Apple, but returns us to the perfect combination of side-splitting hilarity and heartbreaking seriousness that is Lori Jakiela’s master talent. Upon reaching home, she moves in with her mother, and the hysterics begin. The laughter continues from the last book, as though it never stopped.
She describes her homecoming in a nutshell…
“I am my mother’s caregiver. I am a 34-year old woman who sleeps in her childhood bedroom with a Donald Duck nightlight and a mother who tries to regulate her bedtime.”
Jakiela has arrived home, not to the dying woman that she’d frighteningly pictured in her mind, but to her spry, tough-cookie, Italian mother who reports raccoons and kills poisonous snakes with a broom. The hilarity ensues not long after coming home…
“‘Let it go,” I say. “‘It’s just a garter snake.’”
“Garter snake, my ass,’” my mother says. She swats the air with a shovel. “‘That’s a copperhead.’”
In this early hysterical moment, one of many that follow, Jakiela suddenly realizes that the snake has “the kind of confidence that must be backed by venom.”
Jakiela’s father, the machinist and mill worker, was the central character of her first memoir. This time, “The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious” has placed her mother, the life-long nurse, at the center of the memoir. Jakiela has portrayed both of her parents in amazingly well- depicted portraits drawn from memories that will never die. They are both lively, funny, and accurately represent the old-world, working class personalities that have filled her life.
Other new characters are introduced in the book. Her best friend, Gina, believes in psychics and collects statues of the Virgin Mary. Aunt Thelma, her mother’s sister, is the nervous, loveable, cheese curl-sneaking sidekick to her mother. But one new character enters Jakiela’s life forever, surely building the bridge to the next memoir, the man she suddenly marries, Dave Newman.
Newman is a poet and author, a great addition to Jakiela’s life because upon returning home, she’s landed her dream job as a college professor of English Writing. Some of her students hate to read; some of her colleagues are inflated personalities, adding to the consistent comedy. Soon, Jakiela discovers the inevitable, she’s pregnant.
As usual, Jakiela has created page-turning non-fiction that is funny, tense, ironic, and often sad. The whirlwind of emotions throughout the pages portray life in its ultimate truth, an ability that places Jakiela high in the ranks along with Chelsea Handler and David Sedaris.
After laughter, nail-biting tension, and inevitable heartbreak, a new path unfolds in this book that changes her life forever. But it is one that ultimately confirms that Miss New York does, in fact, have everything.
“The Bride to Take…” is the long awaited sequel to Jakiela’s debut memoir, “Miss New York Has Everything.” In it, she not only returns home from the Big Apple, but returns us to the perfect combination of side-splitting hilarity and heartbreaking seriousness that is Lori Jakiela’s master talent. Upon reaching home, she moves in with her mother, and the hysterics begin. The laughter continues from the last book, as though it never stopped.
She describes her homecoming in a nutshell…
“I am my mother’s caregiver. I am a 34-year old woman who sleeps in her childhood bedroom with a Donald Duck nightlight and a mother who tries to regulate her bedtime.”
Jakiela has arrived home, not to the dying woman that she’d frighteningly pictured in her mind, but to her spry, tough-cookie, Italian mother who reports raccoons and kills poisonous snakes with a broom. The hilarity ensues not long after coming home…
“‘Let it go,” I say. “‘It’s just a garter snake.’”
“Garter snake, my ass,’” my mother says. She swats the air with a shovel. “‘That’s a copperhead.’”
In this early hysterical moment, one of many that follow, Jakiela suddenly realizes that the snake has “the kind of confidence that must be backed by venom.”
Jakiela’s father, the machinist and mill worker, was the central character of her first memoir. This time, “The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious” has placed her mother, the life-long nurse, at the center of the memoir. Jakiela has portrayed both of her parents in amazingly well- depicted portraits drawn from memories that will never die. They are both lively, funny, and accurately represent the old-world, working class personalities that have filled her life.
Other new characters are introduced in the book. Her best friend, Gina, believes in psychics and collects statues of the Virgin Mary. Aunt Thelma, her mother’s sister, is the nervous, loveable, cheese curl-sneaking sidekick to her mother. But one new character enters Jakiela’s life forever, surely building the bridge to the next memoir, the man she suddenly marries, Dave Newman.
Newman is a poet and author, a great addition to Jakiela’s life because upon returning home, she’s landed her dream job as a college professor of English Writing. Some of her students hate to read; some of her colleagues are inflated personalities, adding to the consistent comedy. Soon, Jakiela discovers the inevitable, she’s pregnant.
As usual, Jakiela has created page-turning non-fiction that is funny, tense, ironic, and often sad. The whirlwind of emotions throughout the pages portray life in its ultimate truth, an ability that places Jakiela high in the ranks along with Chelsea Handler and David Sedaris.
After laughter, nail-biting tension, and inevitable heartbreak, a new path unfolds in this book that changes her life forever. But it is one that ultimately confirms that Miss New York does, in fact, have everything.
December 10, 2013
Deft Writing Turns Dull Story Into Diamonds
One of the most common reasons people give for not writing their lifestory or memoir is “My life is so ordinary, nobody would be interested in reading about it.” If all they heard were the bones of the story, most people would say that about Lori Jakiela’s life, but for hours I kept flipping pages of her memoir, The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious, to finish the story.
Let me back up and lay out those bones. Although working as an overseas flight attendant for seven years and landing a job as a college writing teacher is hardly ordinary, those distinguishing features of Jakiela’s life are nothing but connective tissue for this story. The primary substance is as ordinary as a PBJ sandwich: adopted daughter abandons hopeless love affair to take a leave of absence and care for terminally ill mother. Daughter falls into deep depression and tries to make sense of life, love and relationship with mother. Daughter’s friend eventually fixes her up with an unemployed guy, chemistry happens, baby results, and they eventually climb out of the pit. Sweet story, but how amazing is that?
What is amazing is Jakiela’s way with words, truth and Story. She does not write along a straight path. She writes the way people think, hopping from one quark-like thought to another, stringing seemingly unrelated memories and story fragments into a mesmerizingly coherent tale. She slams ideas together with the abandon of a preschooler discovering finger paint, juxtaposing bright yellow next to royal purple for shock effect. My view of life takes on new dimensions when I read her work.
She stretches my brain by taking liberties with time terminology. For example, she said things like “Once, years from now, I will explain it to Dave. …” Huh? What does that mean, Once, I will? After the shock wears off, I get it, and my vision expands.
She’s refreshingly frank. Honest. True. What she explains to Dave is that “I never thought anything I ever did could matter much to anyone. I barely even exist.” Continuing in time travel mode, she goes on to explain “It will be one of the truest things I’ll ever say.”
Perhaps it’s her ability to catch the twinkling nuances most of us miss that captivates me most: “He takes a piece of my hair between his fingers and twirls it, examining the ends for splits.” Who even notices something like that? My ability to notice grew larger on reading that. Her true names for people, like Scarf Man, capsulize their essence in two words.
Oh yes. She’s also funny as heck, finding gutsy humor in the most mundane and unexpected places (like Scarf Man). I also found tears suddenly gushing at surprise phrases where she packs an ocean of grief into one short sentence.
Each thought sparkles on the page, turning what could be a tedious story into a treasure chest of delight. If you think your life is dull as dirt, perhaps Jakiela will inspire you to dig within and find diamonds and leave you wanting to read more of her work.
One of the most common reasons people give for not writing their lifestory or memoir is “My life is so ordinary, nobody would be interested in reading about it.” If all they heard were the bones of the story, most people would say that about Lori Jakiela’s life, but for hours I kept flipping pages of her memoir, The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious, to finish the story.
Let me back up and lay out those bones. Although working as an overseas flight attendant for seven years and landing a job as a college writing teacher is hardly ordinary, those distinguishing features of Jakiela’s life are nothing but connective tissue for this story. The primary substance is as ordinary as a PBJ sandwich: adopted daughter abandons hopeless love affair to take a leave of absence and care for terminally ill mother. Daughter falls into deep depression and tries to make sense of life, love and relationship with mother. Daughter’s friend eventually fixes her up with an unemployed guy, chemistry happens, baby results, and they eventually climb out of the pit. Sweet story, but how amazing is that?
What is amazing is Jakiela’s way with words, truth and Story. She does not write along a straight path. She writes the way people think, hopping from one quark-like thought to another, stringing seemingly unrelated memories and story fragments into a mesmerizingly coherent tale. She slams ideas together with the abandon of a preschooler discovering finger paint, juxtaposing bright yellow next to royal purple for shock effect. My view of life takes on new dimensions when I read her work.
She stretches my brain by taking liberties with time terminology. For example, she said things like “Once, years from now, I will explain it to Dave. …” Huh? What does that mean, Once, I will? After the shock wears off, I get it, and my vision expands.
She’s refreshingly frank. Honest. True. What she explains to Dave is that “I never thought anything I ever did could matter much to anyone. I barely even exist.” Continuing in time travel mode, she goes on to explain “It will be one of the truest things I’ll ever say.”
Perhaps it’s her ability to catch the twinkling nuances most of us miss that captivates me most: “He takes a piece of my hair between his fingers and twirls it, examining the ends for splits.” Who even notices something like that? My ability to notice grew larger on reading that. Her true names for people, like Scarf Man, capsulize their essence in two words.
Oh yes. She’s also funny as heck, finding gutsy humor in the most mundane and unexpected places (like Scarf Man). I also found tears suddenly gushing at surprise phrases where she packs an ocean of grief into one short sentence.
Each thought sparkles on the page, turning what could be a tedious story into a treasure chest of delight. If you think your life is dull as dirt, perhaps Jakiela will inspire you to dig within and find diamonds and leave you wanting to read more of her work.
August 29, 2013
I love the first half of this memoir, but toward the end I felt like there were sections that fell flat for me. However her honesty and anecdotes made me struggle between a 4 and 5, finally settling on a 5 because I would most certainly recommend it! There are amazing gems hidden in this memoir and at times Jakiela's ability to capture characters blew me away. She develops an honest and interesting account of her relationship with her mother, one I believe many can relate to. I recommend this read especially to mothers and daughters. It is also a quick read, perfect for a long car trip! I will without a doubt seek out more work by Jakiela in the future.
May 27, 2015
This is the best memoir I have read in years. The prose is crisp and clean--not an unnecessary word. The characters are compelling and well developed. Jakiela's portrayal of her mother is particularly thoughtful and striking.
May 30, 2013
Great book! I saw her piece in Modern Love (NYT) a long time ago and loved it. I was so happy to hear her on NPR and find this book. This is great writing about important things, life things, parents and love and marriage. I can't recommend this enough.
June 19, 2013
Lori Jakiela's poetic, uncluttered prose unfolds with one honest revelation after another. Even when the story is painful, it’s told with humor and simple grace. This book is a lovely commemoration of the relationship between two tough-minded, yet kind-hearted women: a mother and a daughter.
May 30, 2013
Loved the clear writing in this one, and the short chapters. The mother is one of the best characters I've read in ages.
December 1, 2022
One of several new favorite writers. I know, favorite should be singular, but I am discovering so many writers that I love that I have to name them all favorites.
If you want a good taster of her writing, read her short, "Holy." The subject matter and the writing - both the same: https://brevitymag.com/nonfiction/holy/
If you want a good taster of her writing, read her short, "Holy." The subject matter and the writing - both the same: https://brevitymag.com/nonfiction/holy/
July 22, 2013
There's really no other way to say it: if you've had a Mom; if you've ever been lost, or filled with self-doubt; if you've ever been torn up by love or no love; if you've ever done things and not known why; if you've struggled, and dreamed, and tried, and fought, and hoped; if you've ever had a child, or ever been powerless in the face of a loved one's sickness -- in short, if you have ever been human -- your life will be made richer for this deeply wonderful book. Jakiela is a consummate craftsman, a literary master carpenter, who is as tough and as vulnerable as Hemingway -- and in ways he never was. I know that is mighty high praise. It's a book so damn good you want to hug her for writing it. Pittsburgh is, today, becoming a kind of Paris for the Lost Generation -- with tremendous talent churning out one amazing book after another, and this is just the latest in a slowly, steadily rising sea of top-drawer gusty, blue-collar literature...the latest book that belongs on your shelves.
September 8, 2014
This book is astounding. It's unexpected and brutally honest and fantastically clever. The way the struggle with memoirs is to take something as jagged as life and put it in the linear, page-by-page format of a book, this book is left to be the jagged thing that it should be. The effect is that the book is intensely relatable, heartbreaking, and utterly gorgeous.
August 10, 2013
Great book, great writer, she reminds me of Janet Evanovich with her humor. A story that many of us face when we have to move home and take care of our parents. A story of mothers and daughters and how we struggle with each other while trying to find ourselves. Humor, tears, joy, and love.
June 29, 2021
i received this book from a friend...a Pittsburgh poet, so it was an apt gift.
i have to say thank you to the author, with whom i share similar experiences. we are similar in age, i called pittsburgh home for many years, i am adopted, i have a background in journalism, more recently have worked at a university settings, and have a complex relationship with my mom.
reading this lovely book was a cathartic experience: learning that i am not alone in so many of my thoughts and feelings; having the story take place in a city that i love made it even more special - references to locations and events and regional peculiarities made me feel comfortable and at home.
i would like to think this honest book would appeal to most women, even those who do not share so much in common with the author. women who are tasked with assisting aging parents will especially find a kindred spirit -- it is so hard to morph into a new role after decades as the child. Jakiela makes the challenge of navigating that process heartbreakingly clear.
i have to say thank you to the author, with whom i share similar experiences. we are similar in age, i called pittsburgh home for many years, i am adopted, i have a background in journalism, more recently have worked at a university settings, and have a complex relationship with my mom.
reading this lovely book was a cathartic experience: learning that i am not alone in so many of my thoughts and feelings; having the story take place in a city that i love made it even more special - references to locations and events and regional peculiarities made me feel comfortable and at home.
i would like to think this honest book would appeal to most women, even those who do not share so much in common with the author. women who are tasked with assisting aging parents will especially find a kindred spirit -- it is so hard to morph into a new role after decades as the child. Jakiela makes the challenge of navigating that process heartbreakingly clear.
October 16, 2023
Heartfelt, heart-breaking yet laugh-out-loud hilarious, Jakiela's memoir describes taking care of her mother, losing her father, finding love and taking on responsibilities while living in an apartment with little furniture and questionable neighbors. Friends and family are well-drawn and distinct, and the descriptions of Pittsburgh and Pitt's writing community are spot-on. The mother's comments are so hurtful and harsh, but I found myself wishing for a reconciliation. When it comes, the sentiment at the end is (as we used to say in writing workshops) "earned," lovely and loving. One of my favorite writers, brilliant as ever.
January 29, 2018
An excellent memoir of familial trauma, loss, and returning to familiar places. The ending felt rushed, but that could simply be true to her experience of that flurry of events and changes. The writing style very straightforward, which I think took away from certain moments but allowed others the unadulterated sting that they needed. My paperback was also rife with printing errors, which definitely made the reading experience needlessly jarring at times.
March 17, 2024
I had a hard time connecting with this book in the beginning but as I continued to read it, I found the raw honesty extremely compelling. I didn’t feel like the author held back and thus enjoyed it tremendously.
June 30, 2025
As I'm reading this, I'm thinking that Jakiela has to be my age. We may have crossed paths at The Elbow Room back in the 80's, coloring on that butcher paper. So many great references to Pittsburgh, and the description of her mother- at times, hilarious.
July 13, 2017
Memoir by a daughter of her adoption and lif with her mom. If you enjoyed Wild by Cheryl Strayed, you should like this too!
May 5, 2018
I'm fond of memoirs.
Saw Lori Jakiela on a TV show about Pittsburgh authors.
I gobbled up this book in one day.
She's my new favorite Pittsburgh author.
Saw Lori Jakiela on a TV show about Pittsburgh authors.
I gobbled up this book in one day.
She's my new favorite Pittsburgh author.
July 26, 2019
this memoir set in Pittsburgh was an easy read, with a clipped and humorous style
June 26, 2023
I loved this story. It was laugh aloud funny, touching, relatable and so real. Really appreciate her writing style!!
March 28, 2021
A heart-wrenching and heart-ful memoir about making a place in a world that's trying to beat you up. "I'm happy even though I'm terrified," Jakiela writes, "even though happiness, like in books is neither logical nor likely." I loved the writing, and I loved the story. A few more of my favorite lines:
"His voice is perky as alka-seltzer."
"Only couples who are serious shop at IKEA... Only couples who are in love can put the furniture together without killing each other."
"It's a hard thing to know that life is an owed thing."
"His voice is perky as alka-seltzer."
"Only couples who are serious shop at IKEA... Only couples who are in love can put the furniture together without killing each other."
"It's a hard thing to know that life is an owed thing."
August 17, 2013
This was a memoir writing by the author about her life of taking care of a difficult mother who was ill as well as living her own life. The book was a decent read, chapters were short, to the point. Not drawn out and embellished. Some were just a paragraph long, others were longer. Like a person would actually write when keeping a journal. Not everyone has the time to write more then a a couple pages when writing a journal. I liked this because it was real, and could be anyone's life that was in that situation. Perhaps I would've liked to have learned more about the mother. At times it seems as though the mother may have had the start of dementia along with her illness of heart disease. The mother was unapproving of nearly everything the daughter did or did for her. The daughter left her job, her home all to move back to take care of her sick mother. As the story unfolds, we learn that the daughter was adopted, her dad had passed away and short flash backs to her childhood. When she adopted, she required several operations to correct her feet and legs. There was reference that her mother wanted a new kitchen floor, but they never got it because of all the operations she needed as a child. At times, one got the feeling that perhaps deep down the mother resented the fact that they sacrificed so much to give the daughter a normal life. But, then when she was in the hospital as a child, the mother made sure she was in the hospital where she worked as a nurse and would stay in her room all night and then work all day. I believe the mother loved her, but maybe couldn't show it for whatever reason. As the story goes on, she talks about meeting this guy, still somewhat seeing an old boyfriend from NYC, but doesn't want to be with him. Her and the other guy end up moving in together, and after a couple of months, she finds herself pregnant. They tell his parents before her mother because she knows how her mother will react. They also run off to Vegas to get married. Like any couple that has been together a short time, they have troubles. She isn't as excited about being pregnant as she should be. But one night, when she dreams of having a son that has her hands and his fathers eyes, she comes to love the child she is carrying. Her mother doesn't accept the news so well, thinks people will talk about her and asks her daughter how she could do this to her. When she goes into labor, she is actually out with her mother shopping. She goes to get checked, gets sent home and then her water starts to break at home. They go to the hospital and after hours of labor with no results, she has a c-section. Her mother is not at the hospital because the daughter finally spoke up to her and told her she did not want her there because it was not about her this time. But when the mother does come to hospital, she starts demanding the daughter get up out of bed, even though she can barely move. Even when her husbands steps in the mother swats him away. She continues yanking her daughter up out of bed. The son-in-law finally had enough and tells the mother that he is taking her home because that is enough. The baby starts out crying a lot, they think it is normal, is told it is normal. But after a month, and insisting it is not normal, she takes the baby to the doctor who then sends them to the er and they find out the baby had rsv and they find out many newborns and others have come down with it and he probably had it before they left the hospital. The doctor tells them to check their home for mold and things. They then realize they need to move out of the apt they are in. They find a condo even though it will mean a longer commute for him to work but they take it because it is clean and will be better for them. The mother enjoys being a grandma, buy outfits for the baby, dressing him in them and walking him around. A few years later, they have a another baby, a girl this time. Her mother passes. And they are actually a happy family.
August 23, 2015
Closer to 3.5 stars, though not a 4 star book for me. Memoirs are generally not my favorite genre; I often find them too self-serving and am generally disappointed if the subject is someone I admire. Further, I don't really understand what leads a writer to write a memoir, why not just make it fiction, based on real events? And how do one's family and friends and even just people one knows react to this type of soul-bearing and intimate telling?
However, I had read several glowing reviews (including a cover blurb from Stewart O'Nan, one of my favorites) of Lori Jakiela books (this one and others). I was looking for something light and maybe funny, and while I am not sure that The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious fits that bill, I did enjoy it.
Jakiela returns to Pittsburgh after her father's death and when her mother is seriously ill. There are conflicts between mother and daughter, but Lori seems to make a life for herself - a job, a relationship which leads to marriage and a family - in spite of her mother's frequent disapproval. Bert, Lori's mother, is a strong woman, a strong personality, who often does things of which Lori does not approve, as well.
One of the most poignant lines: ..."My old grandma was the best friend I ever had." (269)
Despite the conflicts, the book is an easy read; I read it in one day. And I have requested another Jakiela memoir, dealing with her adoption, from the library.
However, I had read several glowing reviews (including a cover blurb from Stewart O'Nan, one of my favorites) of Lori Jakiela books (this one and others). I was looking for something light and maybe funny, and while I am not sure that The Bridge to Take When Things Get Serious fits that bill, I did enjoy it.
Jakiela returns to Pittsburgh after her father's death and when her mother is seriously ill. There are conflicts between mother and daughter, but Lori seems to make a life for herself - a job, a relationship which leads to marriage and a family - in spite of her mother's frequent disapproval. Bert, Lori's mother, is a strong woman, a strong personality, who often does things of which Lori does not approve, as well.
One of the most poignant lines: ..."My old grandma was the best friend I ever had." (269)
Despite the conflicts, the book is an easy read; I read it in one day. And I have requested another Jakiela memoir, dealing with her adoption, from the library.
August 22, 2013
Jakiela knowingly -- and very amusingly, if in all seriousness -- relates this memoir as both mid-life-crisis and coming-of-age story: A decade ago, she was a fully fledged adult who found herself living in her childhood bedroom when she returns from life as a Manhattan-based airline hostess to take care of her seriously ill mother in Pittsburgh. But don't get the wrong idea about Mom as victim: She's an irascible handful and then some and, as Jakiela unsparingly relates, her manipulations and insecurities are a huge challenge for her daughter to overcome. Jakiela's prose style is notable for her way with short words, short sentences, short paragraphs and short chapter, and she's great at the one-sentence character sketch (especially with the many medical personnel who make brief appearances here). A solid, engaging read.
August 22, 2013
So often we take advantage of the time we spend with loved ones. In this book the author leaves her job as an airline attendant to go back to her home town to care for her ailing mother. It is not easy since her mother does not feel she needs to be cared for. her mother did not seem to appreciate the sacrifice her daughter made.
There were times it made me think of my mom and I am sure anyone who reads this will see their mom or daughter. It is bitter sweet when mother and daughter bond after the birth of her son. It was a long road to that point. Then her mothers cancer returns and the time for her and her son to bond with her mother was being cut short.
Highly recommend this book.
There were times it made me think of my mom and I am sure anyone who reads this will see their mom or daughter. It is bitter sweet when mother and daughter bond after the birth of her son. It was a long road to that point. Then her mothers cancer returns and the time for her and her son to bond with her mother was being cut short.
Highly recommend this book.
May 11, 2015
I picked up this book because it was mentioned on a WQED show about the best things to do in Pittsburgh. Written by a local writer, the geography of it made it a fun read. The memoir itself was a bit self-indulgent at times, but I feel that way about most memoirs. the last 1/3 of the book was considerably better than the first parts, and by the end, as the author came into her own, I did actually begin to care about her and not feel like she was just prattling about her life. I suppose i should give her some credit for taking the reader along on the journey of self-discovery in that sense.
July 24, 2015
Loved this book! Well written and engaging from the first page. I was as surprised by how this memoir turned as I would be if it had been a novel. Just shows that real life is amazing and you can't make this stuff up. Her mother reminds me of mine, whew how do we live through some of this stuff. Loved the descriptions of her college Dean. Does she still work there? Yikes. And the secretary! I work at a university also, so love descriptions and stories about academia. Although that's not what this book is about. I was so impressed I ordered her newest book, can't wait to get it. Highly recommended.
August 31, 2015
This is the authors second memoir. It begins as she leaves New York City and her exciting flight attendant career to move to blue collar Pittsburgh neighborhood to care for her cancer stricken widowed mother. Of course, the women nearly drive each other crazy....but however difficult the challenges for both women their story is one that everyone with a family can relate: tears and chuckles, cranky relatives and new friends, family homes and stinky apartments, endings and beginnings, Jakiela makes art from all the chaos.
What about the bridge? you'll just have to read the book !
What about the bridge? you'll just have to read the book !
February 1, 2015
I enjoyed reading this book. It was well written and quite interesting to read. I like that Lori can tell a serious story and at the same time she injects some really funny anecdotes. I wish I could recall my childhood in such exact detail. Thank you Lori for preserving your memories and enabling me to recall a lot of the memories that we share together. Keep up the writing and I'll keep on reading!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews