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Existing #1

Existing

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This is a mature young adult book that is recommended for readers aged 17+. This book contains subject matter that has mature and disturbing scenes.

Roisin Williams is desperate to be the girl that blends into the background. She doesn’t really speak and she doesn’t want to be spoken to. This is the only way she knows how to protect the secret she’s kept hidden for her whole life.

Lance Williams knows that his daughter doesn’t behave like a normal seventeen year old girl and he’s worried. He decides a fresh start, away from their house that’s full of old, painful memories is a good idea. A new home, in a new city where no one knows her can only be a good thing for Roisin, right?

Wrong. Cannon Beach is home to Cabe Evans. He’s smart, polite, kind and ridiculously attractive, but he doesn’t date - ever. At school, he’s popular, outgoing and has all the girls falling at his feet, all of them except the new girl, Roisin, who seems to do everything she possibly can to avoid him.

When Cabe’s intrigue gets the better of him he tries to figure out why Roisin wants to hide from everyone, but soon finds himself caught up in a tangled web of deceit, torment and anger.

Can Cabe rescue Roisin before it’s too late, or will her secret be the death of her?

340 pages, ebook

First published September 28, 2013

50 people are currently reading
946 people want to read

About the author

Beckie Stevenson

13 books243 followers
Beckie's real name is Rebecca, but she get’s called (and answers to) any of the following…Beckie, Bek, Becca, Rebecca, Pip, Pippy or Stevo.

Beckie is the author of 'Sorrow Woods,' the 'Existing' series, 'Noah and Me' and 'If Only...'
She is due to publish more YA, NA and Adult novels in 2015/16.

She lives in Staffordshire, England, with her partner and two children.
Beckie likes putting music on in the house and dancing around like a mad woman.

When she isn’t playing with her children, doing housework, dancing around the house like a mad woman, walking, cycling, reading or writing, then she can be found working in an investment bank. Or sleeping.


You can find Beckie here…

Twitter: @BeckieStevenson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/BeckieStevensonAuthor
Instagram: BeckieStevo
Blog: http://beckiestevenson.blogspot.co.uk

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5 stars
233 (37%)
4 stars
215 (34%)
3 stars
123 (19%)
2 stars
41 (6%)
1 star
14 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
Profile Image for Jacqueline's Reads.
3,106 reviews1,527 followers
March 29, 2014
3.5 (PULL MY HAIR OUT) STARS

Existing is a LONG book and on top of this long book there is a CLIFFY!!!!!!!

QUICK SUMMARY

Existing is about a girl, Roisin, who is being abused by her step mom. Cabe is a boy at school who doesn’t have any interest in girls, but notices Roisin.

The THINGS I LIKED…

Despite the CRAZY long length of Existing, I did kind of like the way it was written. There was plenty of dialogue and plenty of character development. I did skim over the unnecessary parts. Sometimes the scene was set up too much or there would be a conversation already mentioned, but then mentioned again. I get it. The author wanted to be through, I for one could have done away with it.

I liked the plot. I am a SUCKER for damsel in distress storyline and Roisin has a little sister, so that kind of made my heart melt.

Cabe is a stand-up Hero and the fact he was was pretty interesting.

The THINGS I WANTED TO PULL MY HAIR OUT

I need to say that I don’t mind long books. I don’t mind when everything that is written is needed, but honestly a good 30% of Existing could have been edited out.

I found Roisin’s character at first very endearing and I FELT for her. After the first 50%, I kind of wanted to punch her in the face. She played the necessary martyr WAY TOO LONG. It was to the point where I felt like all the side characters, such as best friend, Cabe and other friends, cared so much for Roisin and Roisin kept on pushing them away, I wanted to just stop reading.

I am all for young romances, but it felt like it took forever for Cabe and Roisin to finally come to an agreement. Roisin pushed Cabe away so much I really didn’t understand what he saw in her after a while.

Overall

Existing isn’t a bad book. I felt like there was a good plot and the characters were VERY developed. I even liked the girly best friend, the gay-best friend and the little sister was adorable.

The one thing that really soured my reading experience was the villain. It was too much. Roisin was beaten down too much and her weak attitude did nothing for me. I wanted to root for the Heroine, but after a while I kind of wanted to say, well you deserve what’s happening because you aren’t doing anything about it.

When we finally get to the climatic ending, I was jumping for joy. I felt like I was finally finishing a marathon and yes I SEE the light and then BAM! I was slapped in the face and it just ENDS.

I read the summary of book two and it has the very thing I do not like reading in books. If you want to know .

I wouldn't rule out the author, just minor tweaks and I can see an awesome read.

Existing (Existing, #1) by Beckie Stevenson AMAZON
Profile Image for Maggie.
287 reviews18 followers
September 30, 2013
I enjoyed Existing, it was heartbreaking yet hopeful.



At one point I had no idea where this story was going to go, how things would turn out and how anything could ever be okay...after everything that's happened. By 50%, I was completely engrossed. I was living in Roisin's world. She was my friend and I wanted to be there for her when everything "ended".

Without giving too much away. Existing is about a girl, Roisin (Rose) trying her best to survive the difficulties of her home life and her past. When she and her family move away to another city she meets Cabe a popular boy in school who instantly takes notice of Roisin. Cabe and some of Rose's friends notice that something isn't quite right with Rose...

And this is her story...

My Cabe


My Roisin (Rose)



I really enjoyed Existing and recommend it to anyone who's looking for a YA/NA with mystery and romance.

Thanks Beckie for sharing Rose's story with us! : )

ARC given by author for an honest review
Profile Image for ratherread.
167 reviews14 followers
September 23, 2013
4.25 Stars!!!

ARC given to me by the author for an honest review.

The first half of the book was a little too young adult juvenile for me, but the last 25% was outstanding!!! Great sex scene and heart pounding suspense. I'm hooked now and ready for the next book. The "teaser" from the second book that is printed at the end of the first book is awesome and makes me want it NOW!!!

I'll post a more detailed review on the release date.
Profile Image for Jenna.
1,625 reviews14 followers
January 21, 2014
Were to start the writing is not bad but the story had so many unrealistic flaws.

Roisin lives with her dad step mom Hallie and little sister. She has been seeing a ghost since she was small and at school she has no friends and is kind of the school freak. Roisin is verbally en physically abused by her stepmother. But she puts up with it to protect her stepsister. So I ask myself why why why??? If you want to protect your stepsister isn't it better to tell your dad ? So they can lock up the drunk bitch and than your sister is safer? If you have a drunk mom and a little girl at home that doesn't scream unsafe to you?

Her dad doesn't notice anything? Is he dumb , blind or something? You can't tell he doesn't question her black eyes ? I mean this is going on for years.

Than Roisin meets Cabe he has his own sorrows. But we have 3 topics here Roisin's abuse, Cabe strange reasoning that love will make you stupid and even you can die from it. His parents died because they were looking at each other instead of the road and now his parents and brother are dead. What's the deal? Couldn't they have died of something that sounds like it really could have happened?

Than we have the ghost who is actually Roisin's mother who was murdered by Hallie.
There's this major incident were Roisins badly beaten and runs to Cabe but while arriving is hit by a car. Tell me why didn't the police investigated it more? We all know that the police will not buy I'm clumsy crap and will sent a professional psychologist to question her. And her dad again is he stupid? if someone beat up my kid I would move heaven and earth to find out what happened. He such an passive idiot. So I'm sorry but this story is unrealistic. Her friends knew her teacher knew and still her dad didn't. So at the ending I ask Roisin why the heck didn't you open your mouth? You knew who murdered your mom but still kept quiet? Tell me are you trying to protect your sister? How about your own life. Why didn't you go to the police? OMG This book has me going crazy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Irene.
204 reviews23 followers
October 1, 2013
I loved this book, so much I just didn't want to put it down.
Existing starts with us being introduced to Roisin , something is not quite right with the poor girl. A loner shunning her school friends and seemingly accident prone. But all is not what it seems and Roisins father in an attempt to give her and his second wife and child Ava a new start, moving from Utah for Cannon Beach. Unaware that the ghost she has been seeing since she was a small child follows her there. Who is the ghost and what is she trying to tell Rose, you will have to read this amazing story to find out.
Rose hopes for a new start in a new school and this is where she will meet the enigmatic Cabe, cheeky mouthed Riley (loved him) and the lovely Charlotte.
Now I know this book is a NA but that didn't take away what a really well written and thought provoking story this was. If you loved Sorrow Woods you will love Existing, it's the first of a trilogy and a very good start. Well done Beckie you had me sniffling again. 5 stars from me.
Profile Image for Spuffed.
562 reviews61 followers
October 26, 2014
I don't know that this book really should be a five star, but I enjoyed the eff out of it so to me, it's a five star. Writing was better than decent, characters were felt, length was perfect for me as was pacing and the storyline took a turn that I had a clue about but it didn't go the way I thought it would. Despite the length, I was never bored with this book and couldn't believe that the second book wasn't out yet. Shoulda checked cause now I've got another series to keep track of. Sheesh.

Quick Rundown: Hard to do without spoilers but let's just say that this starts off as being a story about another loser girl who fits in NOWHERE. She sees ghosts (or at least one particular faceless ghost) and had bad boo boo's on her arm. Doe she really see ghosts? Did the ghost tell her to do this to herself? Is she mental? Imaginary friend? Self inflected abuse? We don't know for a while but then all the answers come out after a move to the North East. Chick suddenly finds herself with friends at this new school but having friends means her secret will come out. And it does along with a shit storm of other secrets as well.

Characterization: Chick started off being a stereotype but she surprises us after her family makes this move. She stops trying to hide all the time. The impulse is there but she's making an effort to balance a "normal" teen life with the fact that no one can ever come to her home (where the secrets could be known). She juggles this pretty well considering how hard the task is for her and I felt strength in this character for that. I could see how one could be frustrated with how she handles the secret but I understand why she does it. The author doesn't just tell us why she hides it, she shows us and I don't find much of that in indie authors/cheaper books. Dude has his issues too but they come as a complete surprise and shape him into more of a full fledged character. And once he learns her secret, he handles things like any teenager would. It was completely realistic- he's a teenager, not superman.

I have a lot to say for how the younger sister (6-7 or so years old) was written. This is the first time out of 500 books that I've read where the dialogue for this age was completely spot on by the author. I've read tons of books with authors that have children yet their 7 year old characters speak like 4 year old's. And being childless (thank goodness) myself, that says something (though I have a hoard of nephews and nieces). I almost wanted to hear more from this little girl because she was written so well. Major kudo's to the author for this.

Secondary characters were enough and did their part. Super pissed at the Dad but I also understand his blindness as to what was going on in his own home. My own Dad is super naive when it comes to the deviousness (or evilness) that women are capable of. Sometimes people just want to assume that everything is okay and live in their bubble of delusion but once shit really hits the fan, they act on it and work to fix it. So, I felt he was spot on as well- not every Dad is superman, either. All the characters were just so well written.

Plot: I pretty much covered this in my rundown but while there were some fantastical elements to the novel (paranormal), I ate it up, hook line and sinker. This book is not about the romance though there is that element within it. This book is about the girl and I was so proud of her at the end. she did was she felt was right for her family but when it became too much, she tried to take control and the outcome was riveting. The ending was great except for one minor detail. Literally, the last sentence written was part of a dialogue and as I turned the page, I was expecting a few more sentences and they weren't there. The cut-off was a little odd for me but it didn't destroy the ending which wasn't quite a cliffhanger but definitely made me want to stalk this author's page for when the second book will come out.

Overall: One of the best books I've read all year (and I read about 2 a day) and probably the best YA book I've read all year. Can't recommend it enough!!! Also, it's on Kindle Unlimited so free read for me though knowing how great it was, I would have paid for it.
Profile Image for Bonny Bon Bon.
124 reviews
October 14, 2013
Firstly id like to thank Beckie Stevenson for giving me this book in exchange for an honest review.

Just give me a second to gather my nerves and emotions and try to piece myself back together.
So now that I have composed myself I can tell you what an incredible journey ive just been on with Rose and Cade.

Rose is a 17 year old girl who has been abused mentally and physically by her step mother, Hallie. A woman who is a drunken bitch and whom throughout the whole book I hoped would end up slowly dieing in a pit, home to somesort of evil creature. Her father who is oblivious to what has been happening beween his daughter and wife decides to move to Cannon Beach for a fresh start.

This gives Rose the chance to be who she always felt she was instead of the wierd and mostly invisible girl she was in her last school.

Cabe is a sexy hunk of a pom who knows staight away that there is more to the hot new girl than meets the eye. What they both discover about each other is a life time full of horrors and secrets that some will and have taken to the grave.

I was so thankful when I was given the chance to R2R for Beckie as I had previously R2R Sorrow Woods which also was a great book. CAN NOT WAIT for the next book.
Profile Image for Jenna Heeks.
3 reviews8 followers
August 2, 2013
5 magical, heart-breaking, beautiful and emotional STARS!!!!

WELL DONE Beckie Stevenson. You SMASHED it!!!

I need to go and sit in a dark room for an hour and rock myself sane, I think.
I want to hug, skip around the room, high-five and shake Beckie Stevenson. This book should come with a warning...It will take over your life!

I couldn't put it down. Every page I turned something new happend. A new twist. A new question. A question answered. About 3/4 of the way through I still had no idea what would happen in the end and I didn't think for one second that Beckie would be able to wrap it all up, but wrap it up she did! It had a shiny big bow and everything!

I will try and review again nearer to the release date, but I already can't wait for the second book!

**ARC received in exchange for my honest opinion**
Profile Image for Jessie.
1,154 reviews9 followers
January 12, 2015
amazing! I wish I could give it more stars!

this book is one of the best books I've had the privilege to read. I stayed up till the early hours reading it. k could not put it down...

Oh my it had everything that a book should have.. there was not one thing I didn't like or agree on ..

I highly recommend this book!
Profile Image for Tranese.
443 reviews
February 25, 2014
Ohhhhhh, my poor heart. Still trying to come up with a worthy review.......
Profile Image for Kim.
2 reviews
March 2, 2014
Brilliant book, completely different to Beckie's first book but again well worth reading, cannot waiting until the next one comes out.
Profile Image for LeAnna.
201 reviews6 followers
December 16, 2021
If you like books by Barbara Erskine, ie ones that tackle themes of abuse & violence with the addition of the supernatural, you’ll enjoy this book.

The story itself is a page turner, even if predictable enough that you can guess most of the story before it’s told. As far as I’m concerned, that just shows how interesting it is.

It’s tagged as YA Fiction, but due to the amount of sexual descriptions I would want to really push on the age group. Easy to read novel with mature themes and sexual descriptions—it’s not the sort of book I’d feel comfortable gifting.

The writing itself isn’t my favorite. It’s lacking a certain polish and doesn’t always flow smoothly. Blame the editor for that one. The problem may be as simple as the writing feeling a little juvenile. Got it, that’s the intended audience etc, but that still leaves it as more of a beach read than a lit read. Nothing wrong with that, once you get used to it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
8 reviews
June 1, 2018
Do not invest your time!

The book was great , the characters were interesting. I would give this book a 5 star rating. But the author does not follow through on promises of book 2. Therefore leaving you with a cliff hanger that will never have a ending. If I had known that there was suppose to be a book 2 in 2014 that the author never delivered, I would have never started this book.

22 reviews1 follower
February 24, 2019
I enjoyed this book so much! Such an emotional story that leave you hoping for Rosin to finally get her light! I am however disappointed that at the end of the book you are given an chapter of the sequel only to find out that the sequel which was supposed to be released in 2014 has yet to be released....I thought maybe the author took a break but she has released many books since then sooo you will be left with an unfinished story which is why I can only give a 3 star writing.
6 reviews
April 30, 2019
Great read

One question why have you never written the other book? This book is a great read, I cried, laughed and got mad. But the ending sucked and need to know what happens.....
Profile Image for Calen.
59 reviews
January 18, 2016
I can sum up this book in one word: Horrendous

Seriously. This is one of those books where you finish it and genuinely wonder if you were reading the same story as everyone else. I didn't read a single thing that didn't want to make me face-wall.

The plot? Bad. The writing? Bad. The characters? Bad. And don't - don't even - get me started on the consistency. Seriously, don't. This review will never end.

Plot: This was supposed to be about an abusive home. But having known people who lived in abusive homes, I can say with utter certainty that abusive homes are never like this. Love never happens like this. The entire plot is just a big pile of no.

Writing: I literally questioned how old this author was. There were entire sentences that made no sense whatsoever. All the character's voices were exactly the same and the pacing was nightmarishly slow. Most of the things that were written, we could have done without. And speaking of things I could have done without, why in the world are there POV shifts in the middle of chapters? Or at all? They were so unnecessary, hard to follow, and distracting.

The characters: Were. Awful. Like I said in the above point, I simply couldn't tell the characters apart. They all sounded exactly the same and they all stayed exactly the same. No one changed. No one learned anything. Also, maybe a spoiler warning but probably not... insta-love galore. But I think I hated Hallie the most -and not for the reason I'm supposed to hate her. Her behavior made no sense. I don't want to give too much away but really, it was a consistency problem. One of many.

I would recommend this book to no one. Seriously don't waste your time.
Profile Image for P๏€cɨℓią* L.
663 reviews17 followers
September 30, 2013
3.5/5
This one is hard to review. I almost just wanted to give it 3 stars because a majority of the story felt like a typical NA Romance story with abuse thrown in, it didn't stand out like Beckie's other book, Sorrow Woods. And, Hallie was such a nasty piece of work, so much so that it felt fake to me. It's like her hatred was unfounded, and it came out of no where. Though the book did give us an explanation, but it still didn't feel real to me. I think her character needed more depth.
OK, enough about the bad. I did like the female protagonist in the story. She's strong and maybe a bit too kind hearted at times. I wished she had told someone right at the beginning, instead of suffering all alone.
Plotwise, it was quite unique. There was some suspense and it really did pick up near the end. The ending made my jaw dropped and heart pounded. Now, I'm hooked and I want the 2nd book! Especially with the teaser near the end.... donno y I torture myself reading that.

ARC received from author in exchange for an honest review
Profile Image for Nicole.
394 reviews7 followers
not-my-cuppa
June 23, 2014
Had potential, but I can't take anymore. The h is annoying me. I know we're in a ya here, but she seemed so mature at first. Now she's hot and cold and dramatic like any hs person, and that's not really my thing. And I soils really like a little more explanation here. What's cabes story? What's with the ghost? What happened for 4 days last summer? Why is the dad such a blind idiot? (Negligence anyone?!) And what is with all the parents being cool with the underage drinking and partying?! They're at least supposed to pretend they don't know what's going on.. Not encourage it! It's sooooooo unrealistic! ugh, sorry I just can't.
Profile Image for CeCe.
3,623 reviews108 followers
Want to read
August 30, 2016
I want to read this book and since I see it ends in a cliffy, I wanted to make sure book 2 was out or coming out soon. Book 2 is still not out. There is no release date as of today and when I clicked on the author's web page it said "Sorry, the page you were looking for in this blog does not exist." (http://beckiestevenson.blogspot.co.uk...) So I think for now I will pass.

675 reviews
April 9, 2014
this was a heartfelt story of abuse but also strong friendship,i really liked this story but i was a bit miffed that we never got to read what happened to the bitch hallie and how it played out also how rose's dad handled the situation by taking off after rose had friends and cabe to give her the support she would have needed ,im hoping the next book answers these downpoints of the story
2 reviews
November 16, 2016
I love this book

it's funny sad heart warming and unbelievably catching u by the breath till this last word. I really want to know what happens and have been looking for the second book of it surviving, can't find it anywhere unless u haven't finished it yet.
Profile Image for Jillian.
179 reviews12 followers
Read
August 13, 2013
->Since this was a beta read, I will not rate it until it is published... review to come!
82 reviews
July 26, 2016
I liked it I just thought the ghost thing was a little weird but still good. I just hope in the next book Roisin wants to get together with Cabe and not just leave him behind and finds another guy.
Profile Image for Joyce.
644 reviews21 followers
May 26, 2014
Cute. Good beach read. Not going to read second book though.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews

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