Resolve: A Story of Courage, Healthy Inquiry and Recovery from Sibling Sexual Abuse

by Alice Perle, Matthew Earsman (Editor)

Resolve is an intimate, wild ride from darkness and confusion to triumphant self-determination and inner peace. Living with a dark secret inside her, Alice Perle has overcome many obstacles on her path to healing in the shadow of sibling sexual abuse.

Needing to understand her experiences at a deeper level, Alice’s personal story is interwoven with her fascinating explorations of societal and intergenerational factors. Resolve showcases an eclectic approach to healing that helped Alice reclaim her true self, freeing her to create a bright, joyous, peaceful life.

Respectfully and sensitively written, Resolve is infused with hope and optimism. It is an inspiring story, offering us an intriguing window into one woman’s experience recovering from sibling sexual abuse—the hidden taboo.

Until she began writing the memoir Alice, like many survivors of sibling sexual abuse, had never shared what happened to her outside her closest personal and professional relationships. RESOLVE has been written to connect the dots between the recollection of Alice Perle's childhood experience of sibling sexual abuse and the repercussions of that abuse beyond the time it happened. Writing her story out of her body, uncomfortable as that felt, has led to many moments of freedom that have transformed Alice's life from grey and fearful to an explosion of life and colour!

Alice's intention is to reflect on her experience to understand and learn for herself and others whose lives have been touched by sibling sexual abuse. She has been through many phases along the way, slowly opening up to her painful past and releasing it with the help of many wonderful people. It has taken courage, time and a lot of vulnerability to get to where she has come to today, and it has been an extraordinary journey laden with unexpected gifts and surprising outcomes.

Pre-release review:

"Wow! I've been swearing out loud and in tears. Such a heartbreaking journey of innocence robbed from that little girl. It's incredibly relatable. I'm so impressed by this book. The stories, research and insights make it both an interesting and educational read." - Sharon Ilstrup, Executive Coach, Seattle, USA

"Through patience and love, even the most negative experiences can be transformed into valuable treasure." - Matthew Earsman, Editor

294 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 7, 2023

About the author

Alice Perle (pen name), an independent author proudly published through Blue Borage Publishing, shares her journey as a survivor and advocate. Empowering survivors, fostering understanding, and driving change - 'Resolve' is Alice's transformative memoir that shines a light on sibling sexual abuse and the long shadow of trauma that follows, offering insights, healing, hope, and a voice for the silenced. Residing on the picturesque Sunshine Coast of South-East Queensland, Australia, the author finds joy in spending quality time with her husband, adult children, grandchild and cherished circle of creative friends.

Reviews

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is great for anyone wanting to understand sibling sexual abuse. It is part memoir and part informational on the topic. There is also some good appendices in the back.

[Savannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice shares her truth from her heart within the beautifully laid out pages of Resolve. I am a survivor of sibling sexual abuse and cried at the similarities that not only I would relate to. It is a truly compelling read. I needed to read it twice. Alice didn't dwell on the darkness. She showed it was there, and it was real. Then she guides us forward through decades of her life, a life that has the undercurrent of trauma trying to surface, but she held it down, as many of us do. Alice has done an incredible job of showing readers what she could recollect, without judging and anger. It is a unique reading journey that gives us what Alice wanted: a safe space to understand, reflect, and see what it is for us to heal from. Alice gave us her perspective of her childhood experience through to current times. There is an extensive list of referenced material and it was clear that Alice committed to not just tell a story but also fill in the gaps of knowledge with researched information, facts and statistics that solidify the reality of the damage that silence causes to survivors and their families. This is a case of knowledge is powerful. If you have experienced any form of childhood trauma, this book is for you. If your family has had childhood trauma silenced, this is for you. It shows us that we can make conscious choices towards our present and future. It also shows us that the healing journey is lifelong. I recommend this book to anyone with children in their home or classroom.

[Sharon Ilstrup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resolve grabbed me immediately - The author's ability to beautifully tell a deeply moving story about a very difficult topic, while weaving in well researched data, is something I haven't experienced often in my reading.

The topic of sibling abuse is critically important to understand - especially for those who have been impacted by it and/or those of us who are parents. This is definitely a case where knowledge is power.

While the topic is very difficult to wrap one's head around, Alice wrote it in a way that is not difficult to read. She touches on the experience she had, the direct impact on her as well as the impact on her family, the support she received (and lack thereof), as well as the power she now carries in her as a human who has gone through a horrific trauma.

This is not ONLY a book for those who have suffered sibling abuse. The stories and messages in this book help all of us who have experienced any kind of childhood trauma.

This book is an important read in that it also shows how truly capable we are of getting to the other side of the awful things that happen to us in our lives. It shows us that the human spirit is resilient and anti-fragile. It shows us that one can find compassion in just about anyone and anything if we are willing to be open and see all humans as the complex and flawed beings we are.

Thank you to Alice Perle for sharing her powerful story.

[Emma Rees · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the moment I picked up this book I was fascinated by Alice's story. Sibling sexual abuse is not easy to talk about, and while it was horrifying to read what older brother, Darryl, subjected Alice to, the book taught me what I need to know about this type of violence, and how best (or how not to) respond if a child or adult tells me that they experienced, or are experiencing it. Alice has inspired me to do what I can to prevent other children being subjected to sibling sexual abuse; such as believing children who draw on deep courage to disclose and acting on their disclosure. More generally we can all encourage open, but sensitive conversations about what can and does happen in our homes, families and communities. Sibling sexual abuse is common, so we must be aware of this to stop it before it starts, and improve our responses so that children are not left to suffer and protect themselves from this violence alone, as Alice was. Thank you, Alice; for having the resolve to share the story of young Alice, and for inspiring me with your bravery and courage on the path to healing.

[Fred Moody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Perle has written a beautiful and enlightening memoir about an ugly subject that has long been shrouded in denial. The early chapters of Resolve perfectly evoke the sense of helplessness, confusion and dread that a child wounded by sibling sexual abuse suffers. Feelings of despair and unworthiness are added to the mix when her pleas for help fall on deaf ears and the situation is minimized within the family. Somehow Perle finds the inner strength to fight back and takes the reader along on her arduous and uneven journey, with a detailed guide to the various methods she explored to help her come to terms with this aspect of her life. Resolve is a memoir that expresses the author’s personal experiences and it is also a well-researched book that contributes much needed information about a previously taboo subject. Perle’s writing is compelling and her contribution to enlightening the world about the subject of sibling sexual abuse will be of great value.

[Sharen · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the beginning of the book, my arms reached out to embrace young Alice. To shield and protect her from the horror of the relentless sibling abuse. At the end of the book, my arms reached out in resounding applause to give Alice a standing ovation. A beautifully written book of triumph over evil. The story of the transformative journey from vulnerable abused child and traumatised adult, to thriving survivor and ambassador for awareness and change. Don’t shy away from the book because of the subject matter. It's a great and powerful read!

[Lyndalee Wilkie]

Finished last night. At no time did I get the urge to skim over any words/paragraphs. A really well proportioned journey through story and research. I learnt so much. Also cried. Thank you Alice. Resilient. Strong💜 Lyndalee

[Maria Socolof · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important book

Alice bravely tells her story of sibling sexual abuse (SSA) and the honest realities of her long journey of recovery and healing. Throughout the book she also provides information from the literature to help the reader gain a greater understanding of SSA and the aftereffects of this trauma.

As a survivor myself, I appreciate hearing another survivor’s story and how she describes the diversity of experiences among survivors. Even though the details of our abuse stories may differ, I deeply resonated with so many aspects of her healing journey.

It is so important for these stories to be told and for SSA to come out of the shadows where it has been hidden for so long,

Thank you, Alice!

~Maria Socolof, President of 5WAVES, Inc., a nonprofit supporting those facing sibling sexual trauma and abuse; Author of The Invisible Key: Unlocking the Mystery of My Chronic Pain

[Darlene Lekowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an excellent Memoir with so many, many things I could relate to based on what I’ve gone through in my life. I dog eared so many pages and wrote lots of notes. Her research/references throughout are great as well. Highly recommend to anyone who thought they were alone going through trauma. Can’t wait to read it again.

[Paula Tretkoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so moving and valuable that I listened to it twice. At the end of the book, there are fascinating appendices and references, but I will only review the body of the book, which is Alice's story. The writing is open, unafraid, and well-crafted. As a victim of sibling abuse myself, I found within its pages a lot of resonance and a lot of good advice as to how I can help my ongoing trauma. The descriptions of Alice's abuse are shocking, so she sticks to one or two descriptions of the actual abuse and focuses on its effect on her and those she loves. Her spouse emerges as a hero, and that's the way I feel about my spouse. She includes many of her achievements despite the abuse, so you get to know Alice as a complete person. The most moving part of the book for me is when the older Alice reaches out for help and the flood of knowledge, feeling, and liberty that affords her. I urge you to follow Alice's journey without fear of the topic. It is the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse that gives it the power to continue. Even if it's not part of your story, you may be able to support someone else who has lived through this trauma.

[Alexandra Skoeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book written by the courageous Alice delves into the heavy yet crucial topic that society often hesitates to discuss openly. Alice's story, delivered with bravery and sensitivity, serves as a beacon of warmth in the shadows of silence surrounding sibling sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse in general. In a world where these conversations are frequently hushed, Alice's bravery shines through, illuminating the path toward healing and understanding.

As I turned the pages, a profound sense of gratitude washed over me for Alice, who fearlessly brings this critical topic to the forefront. Her ability to address such a delicate subject with both strength and tenderness is truly inspirational. One of the book's most powerful aspects lies in its potential to serve as a source of hope for survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Alice has gifted the world with more than just a story; she has provided a tool for fostering awareness, compassion, dismantling stigma, and instigating change.

[Rosie Shiels · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a psychologist who works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse and I am also a survivor. In my work I have had clients who have experienced sibling sexual abuse and who continue to feel shame, guilt, and self-blame because of the taboo attached to this type of abuse. I found Alice’s book to be a very authentic, open, painstakingly honest account of the trauma that she endured as a young girl/woman. Alice was courageous to put her experience into words and her motivation to write this book was to help others speak up and start their own healing journey. Ultimately, Resolve is a message of hope. It is a message to those who have borne the burden of abuse alone, that it is okay to talk about these experiences, so that they can feel validated and seen. I highly recommend this book to therapists and to the brave women who have suffered in silence. Resolve can benefit family members and give them some insight into your wife/partner/mother/sister/daughter/friend’s world.

[Jane Epstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a survivor or know a survivor, this book will help you feel seen, heard and understood. "Resolve" takes us through her early years as Little Alice. Her words vividly transport you to the playground, school, and the painful moments at home. Alice narrates her story gently (with a soothing Australian accent), providing warnings and care as she guides you through her life. Her meticulous research and exploration of family history shed light on the 'whys' that often haunt survivors. Alice's ability to validate the experiences of others who have been through similar struggles is reassuring and empowering. Alice has embarked on a profound healing journey, and her memoir is a testament to her wisdom and resilience. Her willingness to share her heartbreak and insights is a powerful reminder of the importance of storytelling. I've never met Alice, but as a fellow survivor, and through messaging with her, I feel a profound connection with her and consider her a dear friend.

[Deb Aldrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading "Resolve" took me right back to my own childhood, including my own abuse. I found it so relatable and easy to understand all the emotions that little Alice went through, and also the struggles that adult Alice had to deal with, in regards to the difficult family situations, later in life. What a terrible experience for a child to try to navigate, but the strength of the woman who found her way through her own turmoil to try to help others, is astounding. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who has suffered their own abuse, at the hands of a sibling.

[Mary Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Perle gives ideas to fellow child abuse survivors for all aspects of healing, including sexual healing. Her references to her own wonderful marriage throughout the book give breaks from discussions of trauma. Alice and her husband married when they were young adults, and will certainly grow old together. My favorite part of the book is when Alice. with their baby daughter on her lap, tenderly discloses to her husband about the fact that her brother sexually assaulted her for years.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resolve is an honest exploration of sibling sexual abuse — a subject rarely spoken of. Alice blends personal narrative with research, offering both emotional truth and factual insight. It’s not an easy read — and it shouldn’t be (trigger warning). Her story is full of quiet strength, giving voice to experiences too often kept in the dark. This book is for survivors, for families, and for anyone who wants to understand.