Non ricordo se ho ucciso

by Alice LaPlante, Manuela Francescon (Translator)

Jennifer White ha passato la maggior parte della sua vita a esercitare la professione di chirurgo, attività nella quale ha raggiunto traguardi eccellenti, assicurandosi una carriera brillante e remunerativa. È vissuta in un appartamento elegante, di classe, dove insieme al marito ha cresciuto i suoi due figli, Mark e Fiona. Lo scorrere del tempo ha portato con sé inevitabili delusioni e qualche lutto, però l'amica più cara, Amanda, è stata sempre lì, alla porta accanto, presenza sororale che ha custodito tutte le pieghe della vita di Jennifer come solo le amiche più vere sanno fare. Ora la dottoressa White ha sessantacinque anni, è in pensione e da qualche mese Magdalena, infermiera premurosa, vive in casa sua. Ed è qui che comincia questa storia, con la notizia della morte di Amanda e la polizia che bussa alla porta di Jennifer, perché lei conosceva bene la vittima e perché le ha vissuto accanto per tanto tempo. La donna è stata ritrovata con quattro dita di una mano amputate, un'operazione fatta con precisione, con mestiere, un taglio netto da bisturi. Esiste un legame tra l'omicidio e la dottoressa? Sarà necessario attraversare la mente di lei, ferita dall'Alzheimer, privata della possibilità di registrare e ricordare, e dai frammenti di memoria ricostruire cosa è successo. "Non ricordo se ho ucciso" è un viaggio lontano, un gioco di specchi dove il racconto privato incrocia la vicenda criminale, dove ogni personaggio è una scoperta...

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Book Club, Thriller, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Adult

299 pages, Paperback

First published July 5, 2011

About the author

Alice LaPlante is an award-winning writer of both fiction and non-fiction. She teaches creative writing at Stanford University, where she was a Wallace Stegner Fellow and Jones Lecturer. She also teaches in the MFA program at San Francisco State University. Her fiction has been widely published in Epoch, Southwestern Review, and other literary journals. Alice is the author of five books, including the LA Times bestseller Method and Madness: The Making of a Story (W.W. Norton 2009). Her latest book, the novel Turn of Mind, was published by Grove Atlantic in 2011 and won the Wellcome Trust Book Prize for 2011. She lives with her family in Northern California.

Reviews

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I couldn't stop reading this book. It was scary, yet riveting. It's about an orthopedic surgeon who has dementia, and it's from her point of view. It's disjointed in a demented mind sort of way, but the reader understands what's going on. It's scary because who among us is NOT afraid that this will be our end? There is familial drama along with a friend-emy next door neighbor. Add to this, that the neighbor is found murdered and the demented is the prime suspect, yet the reader is left to wonder if she is really guilty and who actually did the murder. Very well written.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really surprised how much I wasn't blown away by this book. I thought I would be! It's a Powell's choice! It has an interesting premise (a woman with Alzheimer's is the main suspect in the murder of her best friend). The writing was interesting--consisting of some notes from the main character Jennifer's caretaker, children, and the murdered friend Amanda, but mainly from Jennifer's POV, skipping around in time, but also skipping around from good memory day to hardly memory at all. It sounds good, right?

The ending was kind of a letdown. **spoilers ahead!** I didn't get enough of these friends' relationship, so when you find out that Amanda knew about Jennifer's husband stealing money, meh, I didn't care that much? And when you find out that Amanda was hassling Jennifer about the money I still didn't care much. And I started to feel like Amanda was a jerk. Because Jennifer's husband is dead and Jennifer has Alzheimer's. I mean, seriously, what do you expect her to do, Amanda? Anyway, Jennifer's daughter Fiona goes to chat with Amanda to tell her to back off and Amanda gets all preachy with her too. So now I'm like, Bitch, get over it. Fiona feels like that too because she shoves her, knocking her down and killing her. Okay, that isn't good. So now I feel like, okay, let's punish Fiona somewhat. I mean, she did kill somebody, even if she was annoying. But the detective, having now discovered the truth, decides, eh, nothing's fixing Amanda's dead situation and all, so let's just drop the case. Um, she was kind of all over Jennifer when she suspected her, but now that she knows it's Fiona's fault, we drop the case? I know she's sweet to her mom and all, but um...that's wrong. Hello? Can we see this is wrong?

I'm so confused. What is this book? There's not enough conflict and character- and relationship-building to be a dramatic novel. The conflict that is thrown in there (the money) felt half-assed. The whodunit element felt like, um, I don't care because nothing was properly built up enough. And now I hate Amanda, Fiona, and that detective. I don't like walking away from a book hating nearly everybody. Including Powell's. Bleh.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel chooses an unusual perspective for its narrator and, in my view, accomplishes it well. Dr Jennifer White is a retired orthopedic surgeon, self-retired, apparently, due to self-recognized signs of developing dementia. All the action of the novel is seen through her eyes, filtered through her changing brain. There is a central mystery, a murder, and all the various personalities and plot points are revealed but in completely non-traditional ways through the fragmented thoughts and words of this deteriorating person, struggling to maintain herself and her world.

The mystery is not as important as the portrait of the person and the illness, what Alzheimers and other dementias do to the person, the personality. Having worked with many people with dememtia over the years, the portrait presented by LaPlant seems to capture the essence of what I've observed well. At the same time she captures the struggle of people around the doctor, those who love her, those trying to help, those who really don't care, once again all through the doctor's eyes. I guess I'll wonder how close LaPlante has come to how those patients have viewed me.

Highly recommended.

[jv poore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Turn of Mind was marked as a Staff Pick at @fountainbkstore, so I thoroughly expected to adore this novel. I was not disappointed.

As a mystery, this book has a unique twist. Not only is the reader puzzling out "who dunnit", but the main suspect also wonders whether or not she is guilty of a particularly heinous crime. The suspect, Dr. Jennifer White is suffering from dementia. The entire story is told from her muddled perspectives.

The narration is heart-wrenching, particularly for the reader that has watched someone succumb to such cruelty. The confusion, mood-swings, frustration, despair, annoyances and anger (typical symptoms of Alzheimer's) portrayed in this book allow a glimpse inside the mind of a dementia sufferer. Often, I found myself weeping; sometimes for Dr. White, more frequently for her family and friends. There were times that I laughed out loud, but felt guilty about it.

This would have made for a great book; however, Ms. LaPlante was clearly not satisfied with "great", thus weaving in a mystery that, as a reader, I really didn't want to solve. This is only book I have EVER read with the hope of NOT finding out "who dunnit". Much like driving by an accident, you don't WANT to look, you don't WANT to know; but......you kinda have to.

I highly recommend this book to all of my fellow readers, particularly if you are in the mood for something different.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Turn of Mind by Alice LaPlante may just be the talk of the summer. I read it in one sitting, it was that riveting. Sixty-four year old Dr. Jennifer White retires from her orthopedic practice when she discovers she has early on-set Alzheimer’s. When her old friend is found murdered with mutilated hands and missing fingers, Dr. White becomes a prime suspect. What could be a run of the mill murder mystery becomes a complicated story of a woman experiencing rapid dementia and declining memory. I can only liken it to experiencing a horrible nightmare over and over as we follow Dr. White’s thought process in this first person narrative. The story goes backward, forward and round and round in an attempt to give us the whole picture; yet in a voice that so confused that sometimes we feel our own memory is failing us. With a deceased husband, two children and a caretaker also on board, Dr White’s story is fleshed out and we eventually understand what happened.

I fear that calling Turn of Mind a mystery may lose some readers and what a loss this would be. If you were able to read Still Alice by Lisa Genova, frightening as the topic of Alzheimer’s can be, then don’t miss Turn of Mind. Disturbing but thought provoking, it’s a different take on the topic of dementia and its many manifestations.

[Patricia Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another really good book. Could not put it down. I was not sure about the book at the beginning. The writing style is very different and it's told through the voice of the patient with dementia and through her notebooks she keeps to help herself remember things. But I got used to it and read this book in 3 days, very quickly for me. It was a really good story with a mystery. I can't begin to understand how this author got so into the head of someone with dementia. I have dealt with this in my life and it is always surprising. Every day is different for the person with this disease. Definitely recommend.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting premise, but ultimately over-hyped. Grim throughout, with no glimmer of anything. The twist was surprising, but overall, I was just glad to be done with this. I was quite interested in the "whodunit" part of the plot for the first half or so of the book, but the relentless deterioration of the main character made that seem unimportant by the time the murderer was revealed.

update Oct. 4, 2014: check out Elizabeth is Missing for a novel with a somewhat similar storyline executed in a much more satisfying way.

[Gale Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredibly ambitious book. Very brave piece of fiction. Perhaps the craft evident in this book is of little interest to non writers, but what an incredible undertaking to tell a story from the POV of woman succumbing to the ravages of Alzheimer's Disease. The story began in first person, moved to second person as the illness progressed, and finally to third person, to show that Dr. Jennifer White was no longer an integrated personality. Brilliant. Such a surprising but wholly believable ending. Wonderfully thoughtful and important work.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won this book from a GoodReads first read contest, and the subject intrigued me...so as soon as I received it, I started to read it. The first thing that threw me off was the style of writing...it's a line or two, then a space, then another line or two. And anytime the person is thinking, the thoughts are written in italics...which seems easy to follow, but sometimes I found myself bored with having to switch voices so often and skip over spaces on the page. I suppose this is a small thing to be irritated by, but I was :-P

Also, I think this book could have gone a lot farther into the emotions of it, but instead, this story seemed to be more about some murder and whether or not the main character had done it and just didn't know she had. I was expecting a NORMAL life, regular everyday people, dealing with the effects of dementia on an older family member, and the effect it has on a normal life...but the murder tale sort of took the reader away from that...and it wasn't even that in depth.

It was written grammatically correct, and in flowing English, but I was just left wanting MORE after reading this book. When I had reached the last page, I actually found myself saying out loud, alone, in the dark, "That's it?"

This author has good potential, she just needs to write a much more enthralling story that EVERYone can relate to.

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I give the author due credit for realistic portrayal of what it's like to have dementia, and what it's like for those trying to care for a person with dementia. As for the story, the delivery is just too random and scattered. When I reached the end, I was left with that "HUH?" feeling that makes a novel unsatisfying.

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark Disease

Murder is nothing compared with losing yourself which is what is gradually happening to top surgeon Jennifer White as Alzheimer’s drags her under. Her best friend of many years is murdered and she has to keep reliving it each time her son or daughter, her caretaker or detectives retell it. Then there are her lucid moments. She keeps a journal in order to jog her memory. Others write his or her version of the truth in it as well. The problem is their agendas differ. Her son has medical power of attorney, her daughter financial and they each try and convince her to give them both powers. Since she can’t remember her reasoning for her decision she’s unsure what to do if anything. She also has flashbacks to her marriage. She remembers being widowed but can’t make sense of the different versions of their relationship. Was he a loving, loyal husband and if so why did she have flashes of darker scenarios? And what part if any did her best friend have in all this? Why was she murdered? Most importantly why do the cops suspect Jennifer? The pacing of “Turn of Mind” is wonderful and the denouement has some nice twists. A fun book.

3.5/5

[Labijose · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a well crafted story about Dr. White, a female orthopedic surgeon , who is starting to suffer the first stages of dementia. Her best friend and neighbour is murdered in strange circunstances, her fingers have been surgically removed, and the police point her out as the prime suspect, even if they cannot take her to trial, due to lack of evidence and also to her mental state.She can't remember anything relating to the crime. Did she really do it or is she being framed?

The story is told from the doctor's point of view, with the help of her diary and her two quite disturbing children. She goes round and round in her mind, not entirely understanding what is going on in the world surronding her.

As I said before, the story is well crafted, though sometimes the style of writing is difficult to follow. It focuses too much on Dr White's state of mind, and too little on how the police investigation is being carried. The ending is too predictable, no surprise awaiting in the final pages! So that's why I give it just 3 stars.

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 5 out of 5]

One can quickly run out of adjectives describing this novel but
I will use chilling and heartbreaking. The reader follows Dr. Jennifer White, age 64, former orthopedic surgeon, as she sinks in the grip of dementia. This story is brilliantly related as she lapses in and out of reality, remembers farther and farther back, secrets of the past are revealed as the filters in her mind disintegrate and her mood changes become more pronounced. She is also being investigated for the murder of her best friend by a woman police detective who refuses to give up, believing that if she talks to Jennifer on the right day the truth will be revealed.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Jennifer White is losing her mind. Literally. Her brain's cells and blood vessels are decaying, coating the vibrant organ of her consciousness with clumps of dying and dead tissue. This brilliant woman - an orthopedic surgeon, mother of two grown children, and a recent widow - is losing her mind to dementia.

I began Turn of Mind an hour before bedtime and finished it shortly after breakfast the next day. In between I slept, swam, showered, and ate my oatmeal, but all other moments were devoted to turning the pages of this astonishing, wrenching book.

The narrative is relayed through Jennifer and via the notebook in which her caretaker, Magdalena, her children Mark and Fiona, and her friends and colleagues record their conversations with and observations of this vibrant woman whose light is dimming under the cloud of Alzheimer's. In the first pages, the novel's structure was off-putting. When I flipped through and saw that the entire book was a series of short paragraphs at most, with pages of one line sentences, I doubted its ability to hold me with a story of complete characters and compelling plot. But that doubt was quickly dispelled.

Alice LaPlante displays masterful writing by using her primary character's point of view to show the horror of dementia. As readers we are not passive observers of Jennifer's disintegration. We are in her head, seeing through her eyes, feeling her confusion as reality wavers like a room filled with funhouse mirrors. LaPlante allows us to laugh, as Jennifer pokes fun at her disease (Top 10 Signs You Know You Have Alzheimer's, #2: You keep discovering new rooms in your house). We are Jennifer as she cunningly slips past her minders to have barefoot adventures in her Chicago neighborhood, not feeling the cold, not fearing strangers who loom from the darkness, not minding that we don't have money to pay for the meal we have somehow eaten at an Italian restaurant. We feel both outrage at and empathy for her children, who take advantage of their mother's diminished awareness, yet who also try to protect her. The conversations Mark and Fiona have with Jennifer, when they know she will not remember what was said, are sometimes terrible, sometimes hilarious, and always heartbreaking.

Propping up the story like a cold steel bar is its central plot conflict: the unsolved murder of Jennifer's neighbor and best friend, Amanda. The investigation of Amanda's death is never far from anyone's mind, except Jennifer's, who has to be told over and over that Amanda is dead. Their history unfolds in fleeting memories that knit together to show a complicated, often adversarial, relationship between two intelligent and strong-willed women.

I am in awe of a writer who can combine a complicated topic that demands extensive research with a classic murder mystery, present it in a jarring, atypical format using the voice of an unreliable narrator, and still create a multi-dimensional story of fully realized characters in a mere 300 pages. I can't wait to see where Alice LaPlante takes us next.

[mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Turn of Mind is classified as a “Literary Thriller.” I wouldn’t call it that; I call it a “First novel by a creative writing teacher,” which is a category I favor. There isn’t much to the plot (despite the blurbs), which is a murder mystery, and not much suspense as to who dunit or why. (see story map)

Turn of Mind is a story about Alzheimer disease, memory, and strong and powerful, professional (a doctor, professor, & detective), hateful (The protagonist, Dr, Jennifer White, even hates the therapy dog.), bitter, resentful women, their husbands, children and lovers (who pretty much share those characteristics); and the intersection of those forces and persons. Funny that Alzheimer’s isn’t mentioned on the jacket or the blurbs, anywhere. But “… a crazy-smart narrator in a family drama that is a brilliant murder mystery,” is. The writing is “creative.” In other words, different - in it’s approach to story telling. I found it difficult but not too difficult. The “crazy-smart narrator” is a 64 year old retired surgeon who is losing her memory but “tells” the/her story via her notebook and memory, into (=the notebook) which are embedded conversations with characters, both past and present, represented by not quotation marks, but by italics and double spacing and sometimes first person “I” declarations, but no names. Tricky? Cute? Clever? Annoying. There are eight primary characters, none of whom I liked. They lie and steal and cheat, mostly; and argue while under the pretense of friendship and love; “That’s it, isn’t it. Too much happiness. You’re envious. A foul-weather friend.” (My quotes. Pg. 132) What they are is - wealthy and accomplished, but unhappy and deceitful and we don’t really know why other than that’s just the way they are.

So what do we learn? That losing your memory is not a good thing, not pleasant for anyone involved – family, friends, colleagues, caregivers. But we don’t learn why someone becomes afflicted with Alzheimer’s, nor any compassionate way to deal with it. Which is okay, maybe there are’t any - answers. My take-away was this: I am so glad my father, who is 91, is still clear in mind and able to live alone and has a good and caring female friend who is close by, and can drive him to appointments; and they go out to restaurants and watch movies and talk politics and read books.

I won’t be recommending they read this one.

Fall 2011

[Mary Chrapliwy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story of a doctor suffering from Alzheimers told from her point of view. This book was completely heartbreaking.

As an RN, I've dealt with my fair share of patients with dementia (including Alzheimers type - there is more than one type of dementia). Many times I would look at a patient clearly trying to formulate what he or she wanted to say as well as those who clearly were trying to reach back into their minds for some memory that sits right on the edge of the mind, like a term that lays on the tip of the tongue. I've also seen clear recognition on a good day, and abject misery and an inability to relate to others on a bad day. I'm not sure how much research LaPlante did for this book, but it range very true to my experiences from the outside looking in.

As a writer, I'm also attuned to technique, voice, and point of view. For 75% of the book LaPlante wrote in first person point of view (I). During the last 25% of the book LaPlante changed to second person point of view (you). It was a little jarring at first - I went back quite a few pages to make sure my assessment was correct, and it was. While the second person point of view - a difficult one for writers to master - was very well done, LaPlante would have been wise to remain either in first person point of view or write the entire book in second person point of view. A reader should never be jarred out of the story and the change in point of view did just that.

Still, this is a very touching, heartbreaking book that also contains a mystery that you don't know the answer to until the very end of the book. That kept me up reading late at night, a worthy test of a book's writing and content.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A uniquely entertaining murder mystery. LaPlante's portrayal of the prime suspect's escalating dementia is gripping, unnerving, and utterly brilliant.--Lisa Genova

[Melissa Crytzer Fry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not sure where to begin in describing this novel – part mystery, part family saga, chock full of family tension – except to say that I was riveted from the very first sentence.

LaPlante takes us into the rapidly deteriorating mind of a gifted orthopedic hand surgeon afflicted with Alzheimer’s. With the same precision and skill required of a surgeon, LaPlante guides readers into the darkness of the disease, its confusion, and its humiliation with such unflinching honesty that, at times, it is difficult to read. For those very reasons, a novel of this nature is of such great value to society because it offers understanding and insight – and compassion for those afflicted with this horrific disease and the families who suffer their own loss. What’s more, LaPlante writes in such a way that the afflicted main character, Jennifer, maintains her dignity and fights to the bitter end.

I was captivated by Jennifer and the author’s ability to create an unrelenting, hardened character who was also, at once, endearing and likeable. While this book clearly included a mystery, that’s not what drove this story for me, personally. The family secrets, the contentious friendship between two women, the dysfunction of family, the crumbling of a brilliant mind portrayed with such realism … for me, the very character-driven, emotional aspects of this novel pulled me in. The mystery component was simply icing on the cake.

[Vaso · Rating 3 out of 5]

Η Τζένιφερ είναι μια πολύ επιτυχημένη χειρούργος, η οποία πάσχει από Αλτσχάιμερ. Αναπολεί λοιπόν τον τρόπο ζωής της, τη σχέση της με τα παιδία της, τον πεθαμένο συζυγό της και τη σχέση της με την καλύτερη της φίλη, την Αμάντα, η οποία βρίσκεται δολοφονημένη. Η αστυνομία, υποψιάζεται την Τζένιφερ, λόγω του ακρωτηριασμού που υπέστη το σώμα. Το μυαλό της Τζένιφερ, της παίζει παράξενα παιχνίδια και σταδιακά, έχουμε τον εγκλεισμό της Τζενιφερ σε ειδικό κέντρο. Θα έλεγα ότι είναι ιδιαιτέρως ψυχοφθόρα η ανάγνωση και συγχρόνως η εκδοχή της ζωής, όπως τη ζει και την εκλαμβάνει ένας ασθενής αυτής της νοσου.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Debut author Alice LaPlante takes an enormous creative risk by narrating her first book through the voice of a 64-year-old retired female surgeon who is in the throes of dementia, and her risk utterly pays off.

This is a pulse-quickening, heart-wrenching tale, seen through the eyes of Dr. Jennifer White, who on any given day, may be lucid and competent, sly and untrusting, unsure and frustrated, or even catatonic. I have never felt as if I were inside the mind of a person with Altzheimer’s, and the insights and complexity of this portrayal alone is worth the read.

The first line of the story is “Something has happened.” What has happened, we learn, is that Dr. White’s great friend, Amanda, has been found dead with four of her fingers surgically amputated. Dr. White is a person of interest, since her field of interest is surgery of the hand. (“Not for me the hearts, the lungs, or the esophagus…I want the hands, the fingers, the things that connect us to the things of the world.”)

Interestingly, this is the part of the book that is showcased by the publicist and is possibly the only weak link of the story. The backstory of Amanda reveals an unpleasant, manipulative and possibly narcissistic woman; it is hard to understand why the friendship endured.

Far more interesting – and fortunately, the bulk of the novel – is the story of Dr. White herself. We learn that she has endured an imperfect marriage, that she has not been the best of parents, that even now, she must deal with two adult children who – as they say – have “issues.”

Turn of Mind constantly keeps the reader on edge, starting with the basic question: is Dr. White guilty of murder? Can either of her children be trusted? Can she be trusted? What is reality, anyway? Can the past and the present co-exist? What happens when a brilliant mind is compromised? The book centers on the question of identity, all right, but it is not the murderer’s identity as much as it is the protagonist’s identity, which is constantly shifting.

At one point, the complex police detective – another well-fleshed character – observes, “People think it’s just forgetting the keys…or the words for things. But there are personality changes. The mood swings. The hostility and even violence. Even from the gentlest person in the world. You love the person you love. And you are left with the shell…”

As Jennifer White moves relentlessly towards that shell-like state, as her mind disintegrates, she still clings to bits of reality with scalpel-like insights. It’s not a perfect book, but it’s an inventive one, filled with heart, focused on how insubstantial reality can be. Highly recommended.

[Kitty G Books]

I ended up actually not finishing this one because it just didn't really appeal. I read the first 50 pages which introduced me to the main character, a surgeon with Alzheimers, and followed her day to day life after the death f a best friend. Having Alzheimers was clearly a large issue for the main character because not only can she often not remember the little things, she frequently forgets her friend is dead and has to relive the sadness of discovering it. When it turns out that three of the fingers on Amanda's (the friend) hand were removed surgically, the main character becomes a suspect, and presumably the book goes on from there.

For me, I just didn't enjoy this. I found it too broken and static and I just didn't feel like there was a real tension. I am sure the depiction of Alzheimers may be true for some patients, but for me as a reader it just lost the tension and drama I wanted from the story and I ended up being rather cold with it. I would have much preferred a book that was from a different perspective I think.

In the end, this one doesn't get a true rating as I didn't finish it, but I would guess maximum I would give it would have been around 2*s anyway.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had such high hopes when I read the description of this book! And let me begin by saying that I actually couldn't stop reading it. However, it didn't really deliver what I had hoped.

First of all, you will be hard-pressed to find any likable characters in this story. Even the main character, Jennifer, who suffers from Alzheimer's , and whose point of view is the voice of the novel. Part of me wonders if Alice LaPlante did this intentionally in an effort to make readers believe that any of the characters might have been involved in the murder of Amanda, around which the story takes place.

Because the story is told from Jennifer's point of view, as her dementia worsens, the narration gets more and more distorted and confused. I didn't have a problem with that at all. In fact, I thought it made the storytelling much more interesting.

One thing that I did have a problem with was the dialogue,sometimes in the present and sometimes remembered. Since so much of the novel was told from the perspective of a person with dementia, it could get a bit confusing. During the times when we were actually getting dialogue between characters, it would have been nice to have some more tangible information to go on. But instead, almost every conversation between characters was full of innuendo and implication and I wasn't always sure what point the speaker was trying to make.

Despite the fact that I had some misgivings, I simply could not stop reading this because I was dying to know about the events surrounding Amanda's death. At the end of the book, the answers were revealed, but the resolution was not all that interesting.

This was a strange one. I found myself reading it almost compulsively, yet I was unsatisfied with it in the end.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you ever read a book that makes you feel sad? Turn of Mind is about Dr. Jennifer White, a 64 year old orthopedic surgeon who specialized in hand surgery and she now has Alzheimer's. It is oddly written so that sometimes it is difficult to tell whether she is having a thought, a memory or actually speaking to another person. It is told in three parts, living in her own home, living in a nursing home, and later with her dementia more escalating towards the end of her life.

The book is classified as a mystery. This mystery is a friend of Jennifer's 3 doors down is found dead in her own home with four of her fingers surgically removed. The question is why would Jennifer kill her best friend Amanda and remove her fingers? Did Jennifer kill her Amanda?

Jennifer has two children, a boy and a girl, and a live in caretaker. Her husband is deceased. Through Jennifer's memories we learn of her life and relationships throughout her life with her husband, her best friend Amanda, and her son and daughter, Mark and Fiona. During the investigation into Amanda's murder we learn about the complexities and depth of all her relationships and how they are all intertwined with each other.

You don't need to know anyone with Alzheimer's to feel sad while reading this book, but I guess the sadness is elevated if you have a more intimate knowledge of someone suffering from Alzheimer's. The story line is well thought out and written. I liked the parts that told me about Jennifer's expertise in the field of orthopedic hand surgery. It was a very good book, a mystery, informative about Alzheimer's, hand surgery, relationships, jealousy, contempt, the entirety of one's life, and it made me feel sad that this is how her life ended. It's fiction.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. If you look at the cover, the head is obscured by what seems to be a fog and the fog is pearl like in tones. That is the perfect cover for this book.

Dr. Jennifer White, an orthopedic surgeon is experiencing early dementia. She “retired” early from her work and hired a caretaker, Magdalena to live with her and take care of her daily needs. Her husband, James, has already passed away and left her with her two adult children, Mark, age 29 and Fiona, age 24. The pearl like drape envelopes her head on the cover of the book just like dementia covers her memories of people’s faces, names, past events and only allows few sparkles to come through like the medical terms that she learned so well. This is so scary and she feels useless in getting back what she lost.

Jennifer keeps a journal to try to help her remember things that she forgets. The book starts off with pages from her journal and with spaces behind the entries like her mind’s search for memories that are no longer there. Through her journal we learn about her past with her parents, her husband and different relationships with her son and daughter.

Her 75 old girl friend, Amanda has been found murdered. Her friend lived fairly close to her and some clues appear later in the book that disturb. Jennifer can’t remember that it has happened so she is reminded over and over again by different people.

Jennifer’s relationship with Amanda is more like a sister to sister relationship with constant arguing included than a close friendship. It is a relationship that can sooth and destroy at the same time. Jennifer’s husband, Amanda’s husband and the children are all tied up in this mystery of who killed Amanda. But this book is not only a mystery; it is a telling of the destruction of the brain through the time with dementia.

When I first read about this story, I thought it would be extremely difficult to write but Alice LaPlante has succeeded extremely well. I could barely stop reading this book, being so engrossed by her imitation of growth of dementia and later the mystery. She presents well developed characters and puts in twists that I had no way of expecting. This story shimmers and is luminescent with all the fractured perceptions of dementia. It is a pearl of a book.

I recommend this book to anyone who is interested dementia, Alzheimer’s and mysteries.

I received this book from GoodReads but that in no way influenced my review.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting little semi-mystery (it's less a whodunit, more a character study of the suspects and the victim). The twist here is that our titular character, Jennifer is a renowned hand surgeon recently forced into retirement due to early-onset Alzheimer's. We walk with Jennifer (I had a hard time with this name for some reason. Maybe because she's my mother's age and I tend to think of "Jennifer" as a name for my contemporaries, not hers. I feel the same way about one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials where the elderly woman's name is Julie. "Julie" and "Jennifer" aren't names for the older set in my narrow little mind.) as the disease progresses and as she tries to deal with the loss of her faculties, the investigation of the murder of her neighbor and best friend (where Jennifer is the chief suspect), her children, both of whom are incredibly problematic and with her memories of her late husband.

LaPlante does her characters justice - no one is very good and many are quite irritating and/or horrible people....just like life. Early-onset Alzheimer's was perhaps done a bit better in the great Still Alice and the mystery really isn't much, but that isn't the point, either. I tore through it (finished in a day) so it was a page-turner for me and well done.

[Christine · Rating 1 out of 5]

S helemaal op het einde ineens...

[Ramona · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book that sways between the genre of suspense, family dysfunction, and memory loss is an interesting one. I liked it alright, but didn't love it. Jennifer White was a surgeon specializing in hands, and now she strives to find herself through her dementia and Alzheimer's disease. This book relies heavily on the drive of an unreliable narrator- which is not my favorite way to approach a story.

Throughout the course of the story we are trying to piece together the pieces of a murder, a slouchy son who is a bit of a leech, a complicated friendship and husband lost to death. It sounds interesting enough, but part of my problem with the plot is it is all laid on you so early in the book that it starts to feel repetitive and even a little boring in parts. Another problem I had was the sudden shift away from first person narrative as the book finished up. It went from "I saw a man enter the room..." to "you saw a man enter then room..." Who is YOU? Is it me as a reader? Who is telling the story now? What just happened to the perspective?

I also did this on audio which probably greatly affected my opinion. The audio wasn't great. This book has a lot of dialogue and because the main character has dementia and often says things out of the blue it got confusing on who was saying what. Also the narrator, Jean Reed Bahle, sounds a lot older than the main character. Often times her voice ended up sounding like Betty White- so I was imagining Golden Girls more than a 64 year old women with memory loss.

All qualms aside this still is an entertaining story and great portrait of dementia. Not quite the ride that "Still Alice" was for me, but an interesting enough read. Fans of domestic (sort of) suspense and mental health challenges will probably appreciate this, but I would recommend reaching for the hard copy. Audio doesn't do it justice.

[Emilie Gurvin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

Despite this book being a murder mystery, I found it oddly relaxing ? The style of writing takes a few pages to get into, but the inclusion of past memories and everyday events made it feel more like a slice-of-life tale rather than explicitly who-done-it. That is something that I genuinely liked and looked forward to reading. Additionally I found it interesting to follow the story of a main character with Alzheimer’s, although I can’t speak much on the accuracy of it all.

[Judy Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alice LaPlante, New York Times, author of acclaimed psychological thrillers--distinguished by their stunning synthesis of family drama and engrossing suspense-- delivers a stunning debut, TURN OF MIND. A middle-aged surgeon suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s, blurring the lines between fact and fiction.

Dr. Jennifer White is a former successful orthopedic surgeon, now in her early sixties, is forced to retire, due to her news of early dementia. Jennifer’s mind is deteriorating and each day she experiences an array of emotions from reality, confusion, to fear.

To further complicate her uncertain life, her best friend Amanda has been murdered. During a surgical procedure, four fingers were removed from her friend’s hand. Jennifer is the prime suspect; however, she cannot imagine how this could have happened.

Narrated by Jennifer we hear this haunting and complex tale, of two friends, and a disease which has taken over her mind. She is angry, frustrated, shamed, and overwhelmed, as not only is she losing part of her mind, her life, and her best friend. Is she capable of murder? Is she hiding behind her Alzheimer’s or can she really not remember the events? Why the fingers?

We meet her children, her caregiver, her husband, parents, and Amanda. A disturbing world as Jennifer tries desperately to piece together the puzzle of her mind, with twist and turns leaving you guessing as to the motives of the killer.

A poignant debut of a woman’s disintegrating unstable mind, filled with blurred memories, in a compelling and gripping saga---a lyrical psychological suspense with a mystery of whodunit. Skillfully written, and haunting – A tour de force!

I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Jean Reed Bahle, delivering an outstanding performance as you follow the confused mind of Jennifer. Looking forward to reading, Alice LaPlante’s Coming of Age at the End of Days, coming Aug 4, 2015.

If you enjoyed TURN OF MIND, recommend reading: Paul Cleave’s TRUST NO ONE (crime writer, Alzheimer’s), Lisa Genova’s STILL ALICE (professor, Alzheimer’s), and Maggie Barbieri’s ONCE UPON A LIE (retired cop, father, Alzheimer’s). Both Cleave and Barbieri add quite a bit of wit and humor, mixed with murder.

JDCMustReadBooks

[Connie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Jennifer White, a retired orthopedic surgeon specializing in hands, is horrified to learn that her best friend, Amanda, was killed and four fingers were surgically removed postmortem. She is questioned repeatedly by the Chicago police, and reacts with the same surprise and sorrow each time. Jennifer has Alzheimer's Disease and has no recollection of the event.

The reader is inside Jennifer's head for much of the book as the Alzheimer's Disease progresses. Jennifer has a complicated, difficult relationship with her children, and they must increasingly take on the role of caregivers. They also have their own demons to deal with. We learn about the family through the entries in the journal that Jennifer keeps to help herself remember her days, as well as through conversations and Jennifer's memories.

Jennifer was a brilliant doctor, and she still has lucid moments when she diagnoses people she meets, sometimes just taking notice of their symptoms in her mind. She is very proud of her professional credentials, and constantly corrects her caregiving aides to call her Dr White. Her sense of humor about her situation still comes through the haze of Alzheimers.

Amanda was both her best friend and neighbor. But there were times when they had strong disagreements, or when Amanda betrayed Jennifer's trust by divulging her secrets. Amanda had a strong sense of morality, and the two women did not always view the world in the same way.

One of the police detectives had lost her partner to early-onset Alzheimers, so she is especially sensitive when questioning Jennifer about Amanda's death. Although the mystery of Amanda's demise runs through the book, it is not the main point of the story. It is primarily an engaging character study of a woman with Alzheimers as the disease progresses.