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A Private Function
A Screenplay.
- GenresHumor
109 pages, Paperback
Published November 12, 1984
2 people are currently reading
36 people want to read
About the author
Alan Bennett
277 books1,123 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Alan Bennett is an English author and Tony Award-winning playwright. Bennett's first stage play, Forty Years On, was produced in 1968. Many television, stage and radio plays followed, along with screenplays, short stories, novellas, a large body of non-fictional prose and broadcasting, and many appearances as an actor. Bennett's lugubrious yet expressive voice (which still bears a slight Leeds accent) and the sharp humour and evident humanity of his writing have made his readings of his own work (especially his autobiographical writing) very popular. His readings of the Winnie the Pooh stories are also widely enjoyed.
Alan Bennett is an English author and Tony Award-winning playwright. Bennett's first stage play, Forty Years On, was produced in 1968. Many television, stage and radio plays followed, along with screenplays, short stories, novellas, a large body of non-fictional prose and broadcasting, and many appearances as an actor. Bennett's lugubrious yet expressive voice (which still bears a slight Leeds accent) and the sharp humour and evident humanity of his writing have made his readings of his own work (especially his autobiographical writing) very popular. His readings of the Winnie the Pooh stories are also widely enjoyed.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
January 12, 2026
A Private Function by Alan Bennett
A different version of this note and thoughts on other books are available at:
- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... and http://realini.blogspot.ro/
A Private Function is a hilarious comedy.
Alan Bennett is a wonderful writer and I have already enjoyed quite a few of his works, including the excellent:
- History Boys, The Clothes they Stood Up In, Kafka’s Dick, The Madness of King George, Forty Years On and An Englishman Abroad
The cast is also fabulous:
- Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Denholm Elliott and all the rest of the actors
It is 1947 and even if World War II is over, there are shortages and little food available.
Some local notabilities have a plan for the special occasion of the marriage of Princess Elizabeth, when a party will be organized.
They have raised a pig, in illegal circumstances.
Michael Palin plays the role of Gilbert Chilvers and Maggie Smith is Joyce Chilvers, his wife who is not very happy with her condition.
They are middle class, but that means that they have no access to the higher spheres of society, where the pig raisers belong.
Joyce vents her frustrations to her mother, who is old and does not seem aware of what is going on around her.
Gilbert Chilvers is cutting people’s toe nails.
Doing his rounds in the locality and environs, he becomes acquainted with most of the wives of the important people in the area.
On a farm, he comes across the…pig.
And given that people are waiting in line for a small piece of meat that quite often does not arrive or is finished before everyone has a chance to buy, the discovery of the animal is extraordinary and hilarious.
Mistreated as he is and criticized most of the time by his patronizing wife who is quite a handful, Gilbert decides to act.
So he steals the pig.
It is evidently no cake walk.
I was just reading that during the filming they used three pigs, selected to be docile and it was still difficult to work with them.
Maggie Smith barely escaped an attack.
On the other hand, I have also learned that they are quite intelligent, as smart as dogs and it is a pity we are eating them.
I am trying to be a vegetarian.
Once the pig is brought home, serious problems are accumulating.
Mother is shocked by the presence of a very awful smelling creature in the apartment and gives this presence away to the food inspector.
Then the provocation of showing that he is a man by slaughtering the pig proves too much for the sensitive Gilbert.
He actually becomes attached to the animal, whose location has been identified by the men who owned it.
There is a clash between the “rightful owners” and the man who stole their property that is funny, albeit tense.
Gilbert and another man are now opposed to the idea of killing the poor animal, never mind have him served at table.
The food inspector is also prowling around.
I will end with some quotes:
Joyce Chilvers: I think sexual intercourse is in order, Gilbert.
Dr. Charles Swaby: Now, under this National Health Service, any poorly little pillock can come into my surgery and say "I'm ill! Treat me!" Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the last war was FOR…
Morris Wormold the Meat Inspector: My experience has been, Mrs. Forbes, that when people say they are only human, it's because they have been making beasts of themselves…
[the pig has been abducted]
Grand Hotel Manager: I can put my hands on two turkeys in Bradford.
Frank Lockwood the Solicitor: Two? TWO? We've got a hundred and fifty people coming! And Jesus isn't one of them!...
A different version of this note and thoughts on other books are available at:
- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... and http://realini.blogspot.ro/
A Private Function is a hilarious comedy.
Alan Bennett is a wonderful writer and I have already enjoyed quite a few of his works, including the excellent:
- History Boys, The Clothes they Stood Up In, Kafka’s Dick, The Madness of King George, Forty Years On and An Englishman Abroad
The cast is also fabulous:
- Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Denholm Elliott and all the rest of the actors
It is 1947 and even if World War II is over, there are shortages and little food available.
Some local notabilities have a plan for the special occasion of the marriage of Princess Elizabeth, when a party will be organized.
They have raised a pig, in illegal circumstances.
Michael Palin plays the role of Gilbert Chilvers and Maggie Smith is Joyce Chilvers, his wife who is not very happy with her condition.
They are middle class, but that means that they have no access to the higher spheres of society, where the pig raisers belong.
Joyce vents her frustrations to her mother, who is old and does not seem aware of what is going on around her.
Gilbert Chilvers is cutting people’s toe nails.
Doing his rounds in the locality and environs, he becomes acquainted with most of the wives of the important people in the area.
On a farm, he comes across the…pig.
And given that people are waiting in line for a small piece of meat that quite often does not arrive or is finished before everyone has a chance to buy, the discovery of the animal is extraordinary and hilarious.
Mistreated as he is and criticized most of the time by his patronizing wife who is quite a handful, Gilbert decides to act.
So he steals the pig.
It is evidently no cake walk.
I was just reading that during the filming they used three pigs, selected to be docile and it was still difficult to work with them.
Maggie Smith barely escaped an attack.
On the other hand, I have also learned that they are quite intelligent, as smart as dogs and it is a pity we are eating them.
I am trying to be a vegetarian.
Once the pig is brought home, serious problems are accumulating.
Mother is shocked by the presence of a very awful smelling creature in the apartment and gives this presence away to the food inspector.
Then the provocation of showing that he is a man by slaughtering the pig proves too much for the sensitive Gilbert.
He actually becomes attached to the animal, whose location has been identified by the men who owned it.
There is a clash between the “rightful owners” and the man who stole their property that is funny, albeit tense.
Gilbert and another man are now opposed to the idea of killing the poor animal, never mind have him served at table.
The food inspector is also prowling around.
I will end with some quotes:
Joyce Chilvers: I think sexual intercourse is in order, Gilbert.
Dr. Charles Swaby: Now, under this National Health Service, any poorly little pillock can come into my surgery and say "I'm ill! Treat me!" Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the last war was FOR…
Morris Wormold the Meat Inspector: My experience has been, Mrs. Forbes, that when people say they are only human, it's because they have been making beasts of themselves…
[the pig has been abducted]
Grand Hotel Manager: I can put my hands on two turkeys in Bradford.
Frank Lockwood the Solicitor: Two? TWO? We've got a hundred and fifty people coming! And Jesus isn't one of them!...
June 9, 2020
This book basically brings together the screenplays for five of Bennett’s different movies: The Old Crowd, A Private Function, Prick Up Your Ears, 102 Boulevard Haussmann and The Madness of King George. As is to be expected with any compilation like this, I liked some of the screenplays more than others, and by all accounts they were better as stage plays anyway.
Still, I’m glad that I picked this one up, and while I’ve changed my mind and I doubt I’ll be watching all of the movies that were made out of this, I’ll be checking out one or two of them. I think it’s also pretty cool because Bennett is at his best when he’s writing dialogue, at least in my opinion, and dialogue automatically shines in screenplays.
I also think that some of my favourite parts of this book were the introductions to the different screenplays, but then I’ve always liked getting a little extra context on what I’m reading. Strangely, though, that only really applies when I’m reading an author talking about their own work, as otherwise I like to go in pretty blind.
All in all then, I’m a fan of Alan Bennett’s work and so I was pretty happy with it, and with five screenplays in a single collection, there’s a lot here for you to enjoy. Even if you don’t like one of them, you’ll probably like the others.
And if nothing else, it’s a fascinating insight into the way that films are made and the changes that are made along the way. For example, he wrote stage directions for pigs, but obviously there’s no way of ensuring that pigs actually follow them. So yeah, a fun, recommended read. Have some fun!
Still, I’m glad that I picked this one up, and while I’ve changed my mind and I doubt I’ll be watching all of the movies that were made out of this, I’ll be checking out one or two of them. I think it’s also pretty cool because Bennett is at his best when he’s writing dialogue, at least in my opinion, and dialogue automatically shines in screenplays.
I also think that some of my favourite parts of this book were the introductions to the different screenplays, but then I’ve always liked getting a little extra context on what I’m reading. Strangely, though, that only really applies when I’m reading an author talking about their own work, as otherwise I like to go in pretty blind.
All in all then, I’m a fan of Alan Bennett’s work and so I was pretty happy with it, and with five screenplays in a single collection, there’s a lot here for you to enjoy. Even if you don’t like one of them, you’ll probably like the others.
And if nothing else, it’s a fascinating insight into the way that films are made and the changes that are made along the way. For example, he wrote stage directions for pigs, but obviously there’s no way of ensuring that pigs actually follow them. So yeah, a fun, recommended read. Have some fun!
December 29, 2024
British WWII-era comedy-drama about some middle-class types with a blackmarket pig at a time of rationing.
January 23, 2015
This is not a book but a screenplay of the movie with a stellar cast. Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Liz Smith, Denholm Elliot, Richard Griffiths, Alison Steadman, Jim Carver.
It's about snobbery, and the black market in the post war years. Slow moving but well worth the effort
It's about snobbery, and the black market in the post war years. Slow moving but well worth the effort
March 6, 2014
brilliant fun
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews