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House of Abraham: Lincoln and the Todds: A Family Divided by War

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For all the talk of the Civil War’s pitting brother against brother, no book has told fully the story of one family ravaged by that conflict. And no family better illustrates the personal toll the war took than Lincoln’s own.Mary Todd Lincoln was one of fourteen siblings who were split between the Confederacy and the Union.Three of her brothers fought, and two died, for the South. Several Todds—including Mary herself—bedeviled Lincoln’s administration with their scandalous behavior.Their struggles haunted the president and moved him to avoid tactics or rhetoric that would dehumanize or scapegoat the Confederates. By drawing on his own familial experience, Lincoln was able to articulate a humanistic, even charitable view of the enemy that seems surpassingly wise in our time, let alone his.
In House of Abraham, the award-winning historian Stephen Berry fills a gap in Civil War history, showing how the war changed one family and how that family changed the course of the war.

288 pages, Hardcover

First published November 5, 2007

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About the author

Stephen Berry

8 books6 followers
Some of his books have been published as Stephen W. Berry II


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There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

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5 stars
102 (25%)
4 stars
158 (40%)
3 stars
112 (28%)
2 stars
19 (4%)
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4 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
Profile Image for Susan.
1,060 reviews198 followers
January 13, 2016
This is a well written and researched book about the Todd Family. Mary Todd Lincoln was one of 14 children and it chronicles these children and their spouses in detail. It discusses why some of them fought for the Union and some of them for the Confederacy. It also discusses their relationship with President Abraham Lincoln. There are also details about Mary and Abraham's relationship including her hitting in the face with a wooden block, chasing him out of the house without his pants and other acts of violence.

If you wanted to know anything about the Todd family this would be the book for you. Unfortunately I wasn't that interested.
Profile Image for Walter Conner.
Author 7 books3 followers
August 13, 2012
A carefully researched, fascinating take on the dichotomy existing within the Lincoln Whitehouse with the Northern-born Abraham Lincoln on the one hand, and the Southern roots and family of Mary Todd Lincoln on the other. Berry's exploration of the dynamics of the relationships and their probable effect on Lincoln's approach to both the Civil War and its aftermath is most thought-provoking.

Far from taking a dull, scholarly, textbook approach, Berry keeps it light and very much humanizes the participants with anecdotes and humor.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone looking for a different squint at Lincoln's Civil War Whitehouse.
Profile Image for Colleen Foster.
126 reviews131 followers
May 13, 2021
I honestly didn't know what to expect from this . But I was blown away from all the family drama that Lincoln had to endure during his marriage with Mary. This book got a little boring with all the different family members and there life. All the dates and history was a little overwhelming. But overall a good book.
Profile Image for Louise.
1,856 reviews389 followers
May 13, 2013
Why did the majority of the Todds choose the South over the North? Theirs was a border state that stayed in the Union. They owned too few slaves to have fortunes staked on the system. On p. 174 Berry defines the Todds as being "shrill with hatred... collapsed in self interest and grief". What drove them to this?

Are they really "a once happy family" as Berry says? The litigation over their father's estate belies this. The litigation not only left their father's second wife (mother of 6?) dependent, but also disinherited those, like Mary, who had already had gifts from the father. Did early favoritism cause the rift as much as the war?

Lincoln appears to be the model brother-in-law. Risking charges of favoritism and nepotism, Lincoln helps his Union oriented brothers-in-law (who also married Todds), giving one the ability to contract for provisions (which he exploits and when challenged threatens blackmail) and another a coveted army position away from the fray in the west. He entertains a Confederate Todd in the White House, and provides a pardon for another who will not take an oath of allegiance to the country that pardons her. His tolerance and charity towards his family recalls his tolerance of McClellan and a host of cabinet officers with similarly dubious motives.

Mary personalizes the Confederate allegiance in her family as a fight against her. Maybe Mary was close to being right. Some seem to bask in the status of being able to malign a famous relative. Others just expect too much which can breed disappointment even under normal conditions. Maybe some of their intensity was a family rebellion against the one grown up who, by chance, had married into their family.

While the book is short, it is not entirely focused. For a book on the family, too many of its precious paragraphs are devoted to sketching the war such as the battles of Manassas and Shiloh and the siege of Vicksburg. I would have liked a reference table in the beginning showing the birth order of the Todds and their marriages. Most importantly, it needs some discussion on why the Todds did what they did.

In a lighthearted afterward the author describes his research. While a lot went into this effort, I hope it is not thorough, because I would like to know more of these Todds.
Profile Image for Damon Lively.
46 reviews
April 15, 2014
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. It was a nice change of pace on other books on the subject of Lincoln – and provided a lot of depth and insight into the family (in particular the Todd’s and Mary). There is some background on their early lives and it details their courtship (which I was not versed on prior to reading). You get a lot of insight into Mary’s volatility and the strain this had on Lincoln and their relationship. There were family dynamics complicated by the Todd’s support of the Confederacy. This book is a good bridge into the conversation on “melancholy” Lincoln and more of the personal and psychological strains he faced (compounded upon the War and Politics of the day). I thought it was fascinating.
Profile Image for Emily.
96 reviews
September 15, 2012
Interesting book about our nation's history from a unique point of view. The book reads easily, NOT like a boring text book. I like the parallels the author draws between Lincoln and his/wife's family and the greater national family.

The only slight drawback to the book - I felt - was the author's suggestive language. In saying that something was written, say "disappointingly", the author, in very minute ways, gives a personal interpretation of the facts. Given I have an education in journalism, I felt it a little off-putting. Still would recommend it as a good read and as a source of great insight into our shared history.
Profile Image for Martha.
439 reviews2 followers
March 14, 2009
I liked this book b/c of all the information about the Todds & there is lots of info about them. Many were not very likeable, esp. the older male siblings of Mary's. I found it dry as someone else mentioned, mostly in the battle descriptions. I did not like the author's take on Robert Todd Lincoln ... that he had his mother committed b/c he probably was tired of dealing with her. I doubt that was the case, but perhaps I need to read more books about all of them. These people WERE Lincoln's family & he loved them. It cost him to do so, but he did none the less. His blood relatives were dead except for his father & he wasn't close to him so he must have loved so many brothers & sisters. How different that must have been for him! Huge family get-togethers are fun ... all the talking, laughing, playing games, even the fighting! He probably loved it.
Profile Image for Lauren Farmer.
23 reviews
July 1, 2015
Very enjoyable to read! I learned a lot about Lincoln as a person, and now have a better understanding of his actions during the war. As a Lexington, KY resident it was also very cool to read about how Lexington was during this time.
Profile Image for Chris Curtis.
12 reviews
December 5, 2020
In 1930, the last surviving sibling of Mary Todd Lincoln burned her diary the same day she had a heart attack & died. Why? Perhaps she didn’t want the family secrets to skew public opinion of this really large & really interesting family. Too bad; thanks to Stephen Berry, the secrets are out anyway. He’s the first guy, he claims, to produce a work spotlighting all the family members, their infamous escapades, and how this affected our 16th president during a conflict that actually mirrored the Todd family. The dust cover may show just Abe & Mary, but that’s deceiving. This is not a book about the Lincoln marriage. This is about Mary’s family - often dysfunctional, truly Southern, and filled with more drama than you could stick in a two-hour movie, and Berry’s book gives you that fly-on-the-wall perspective that even Civil War buffs will find fascinating.

I love Stephen Berry’s insights that he smoothly & frequently inserts into the narrative, many of which are maxims which apply to both the antebellum Todd family and those of today. “In any age money has gravity, and the family members who have the most of it draw satellite relations into a low orbit about them.” Yep.

I’m not the biggest fan when historical authors judgmentally present themselves above the characters or the scenes they’re describing. For instance, Berry doesn’t identify himself as a psychologist, but at times he plays one in the writing of this book. “Gradually it would dawn on Mary that this man did not love her. He endured her, indeed pitied her, and for that if for nothing else, she felt inclined to punish him.” “Shopping made her feel important & pampered; pretty things distracted her from ugly realities.”

I also find amusing the words authors sometime use, whether it’s for effect, a shout-out to olden times when our society had a much larger vocabulary, or just to show they know how to use the word. Regardless, I do enjoy looking up such words of antiquity. Among the many Berry uses in this book, I loved discovering the meanings of: vouchsafed / flummery / oleaginous / monomania. Well played!

Despite the often-sad story of the Todd family, I loved learning more about the war, life in 19th century America, and, gained even greater respect for the depth & character of Abraham Lincoln. The writing is so good, that at times, I just had to stop and say “Wow.” Berry can bring it, and this fresh perspective on the underappreciated Lincoln-Todd relationships makes me look forward to what this author will dig up next.
Profile Image for Pastor Greg.
188 reviews20 followers
September 28, 2021
I've read half a dozen books on Lincoln. Some qualify as "Lincoln Cult" while others are decidedly not impressed (see Thomas DiLorenzo's books on Mr. Lincoln). This one seemed to hit closer to the middle, but a number of comments make it clear that Berry is solidly in the Lincoln fan club.

But the fact is, this is mostly NOT about the House of Abraham. It is about the Todds. And because I'd never seen much on the Todd family in anything I'd read previously AND the fact that I found this in paperback cheap, I bought it and decided to read it. However, I found the small print just too difficult so I quickly turned to my Scribd app and listened to a very well-done audio reading of the book.

I have an extreme interest in history and the pretty much anything in American history from the time of Jamestown to the present. So, I found this extremely interesting and enjoyable. I read it in two days time, including staying up late the first night to spend an extra hour just listening.

The Todd family is like any other in the sense that they are made up of individuals who are very different in personality and in personal choices. Every human story is different and when you read about the individuals in a family as a package deal, especially when that family played such a major role behind the scenes in the life of Abe Lincoln and during the time of the "War of Northern Aggression", I simply love it.

No spoilers here, but if you didn't know that Lincoln's in-laws included some very Confederate elements and that this Todd family could become the focal point of a Hallmark Classic Series of films with all of the drama, mental illness, deception, human failure, love, hate, death, etc., you may be in for a surprise if you choose to read this one.

I recommend it. And highly recommend it if you share my personal interests as described above.
Profile Image for Hank Pharis.
1,591 reviews35 followers
September 13, 2018
This is interesting for telling the stories of the Lincolns extended families.

I have recently read or listened to half a dozen books on Lincoln. And I don't remember if these notes actually came from this book or others but here are a few interesting details:

Stephen Douglas said that Lincoln was the best lawyer he ever saw.

Douglas accused Lincoln of being two faced and Lincoln responded: "If I had 2 faces do you think I'd wear this one?"

People slept in line for appointments in the White House for months hoping to get federal jobs.

"Mary always wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. The more she acquired the more she wanted."

Mary bought $1,000 in mourning products before Lincoln died.


(Note: I'm stingy with stars. For me 2 stars means a good book. 3 = Very good; 4 = Outstanding {only about 5% of the books I read merit this}; 5 = All time favorites {one of these may come along every 400-500 books})
Profile Image for Zena Ryder.
285 reviews6 followers
June 29, 2017
I want to learn more about Mary Todd Lincoln (and her relationship with Abraham Lincoln) and this book was a good start. And seeing her in the context of her family was enlightening too. However, there was a bit too much detail about various battles that Mary's brothers and brothers-in-law fought in. (I like learning about the American Civil War, but it's mostly the political detail I'm interested in. I tend to glaze over at too much battle detail.)

Poor Mary. She sounds like she was a bit of a pain in the ass (like her siblings), but she also experienced incredible grief, and probably also suffered from some mental illness.

The next book I'll read that is related to Mary is written by her dressmaker and confidante, Elizabeth Keckley, Behind the Scenes, or Thirty Years a Slave, and Four Years in the White House.
Profile Image for Caleb J..
169 reviews3 followers
March 31, 2024
I am torn between a 4 and 5 for this book. Researched admirably and likely with limited resource references of these numerous support players in Lincoln's life. You can choose your friends and a spouse but not their family. The Todds were emblematic of the turbulent times. This story adds nuance to the pressures of Lincoln's Civil War life. Imagine his task of navigating a war to preserve a Union all while the Southern leaning sympathizing Todds hovered in and out of your life. Though this book spends little time on Lincoln I can't help but respect him even more for the weight added to his shoulders from this family. A fascinating journey likely best read after having read at least a few broader works on the Civil War period. My only hesitancy is in a general lack of flow to the writing style and presentation. Short book, 5 stars for research. 4 overall.
Recommended for sure.
Profile Image for Avis Black.
1,581 reviews57 followers
March 19, 2025
Quote from the book: "And whatever her faults, Mary loved this man. She just sometimes had an appalling way of showing it. One example will suffice for the rest. One day while Mary was chasing her husband around with a knife, it became suddenly clear to both of them that they were being observed by a stranger. Immediately, Lincoln whirled around and took control of his wife physically. That he always could have done so was one of the reasons she was chasing him in the first place. But what does it say that he allowed her to chase him around with a knife? Isn’t that a kind of love?"

Jesus, this author is stupid. Why can't all the Lincoln apologists come out and just admit the Lincolns had a terrible and unhappy marriage?
Profile Image for Megan.
11 reviews
September 21, 2017
I really liked the expanded info about the Todds and Lincoln's relationship with them. I was disappointed that the author took the same outdated view of Mary's personality and the nature of the Lincolns marriage. Mary was not a shrew or insane and she and Lincoln had a loving marriage. That part is not presented in this book.
Profile Image for Lisa Rogers.
Author 9 books19 followers
March 7, 2025
The best parts of this book are about Todd women although the wartime atrocities of David Todd are quite interesting. I don’t care to know about Todd men and their Confederate battle action but for fans of Civil War military history this book offers that in well- researched detail. It’s easy to lose track of who married what man in a family of 14 Todds.
33 reviews
July 17, 2018
The Todds were an extremely dysfunctional family and a great strain on President Lincoln. Despite this, he was very tolerant and forgiving to them which mirrored his approach to the Confederacy.
Very well written and informative book.
Profile Image for Mary Zurn.
346 reviews1 follower
January 14, 2022
This is a very thoroughly researched book. I found it interesting to see how Abraham Lincoln had a very distinct relationship with the Todd family. Must have been very difficult to deal with not only a country divided but a family divided.
Profile Image for Anne.
176 reviews
April 3, 2022
An interesting perspective on the civil war through the eyes of the Todd family (i.e., Mary Todd Lincoln). Just like the rest of the country, the family was ripped apart between North and South, with many disastrous consequences.
Profile Image for Robert.
90 reviews4 followers
July 31, 2020
I love history. At this time period. And on this president and wife
Profile Image for Caroline Ailanthus.
Author 5 books6 followers
December 2, 2025
I liked the book, but after reading it, I don't much like the Todds--with one exception.

That Abraham Lincoln (whom I always have liked) WAS a Todd is one of the central insights of this book. That is, he married into his wife's family to a far greater degree than she married into his, and he therefore should be considered within the context of the Todd family system.

And what a dysfunctional system it was.

The book is essentially a joint biography of a large number of people--all the sons and daughters of Robert Smith Todd and his two (consecutive) wives, plus the husbands of those daughters. The wives of the sons are only briefly mentioned, but in fairness those marriages were either brief or occurred after the war that is the book's primary focus. Of course it's not a complete biography of all these people, it can't be, but the author provides a good introduction to all of them, and I only got lost among all the names a couple of times. Seriously, tackling such a big topic was incredibly ambitious on the part of the author, and he pulled it off, producing a work that is clear, accessible, interesting, and even relatively short.

Is it accurate? I have to ask, both in general (any book of history SHOULD be accurate, but not all are) and because Berry makes a number of serious allegations of his subjects--spousal abuse, embezzlement, taking bribes, attempted blackmail, smuggling, war crimes, and medical malpractice. Was all this real?

Probably. I can't be sure, as I'm not enough of an expert to fact-check the whole thing, but the facts I do know about check out. The Lincoln marriage does come across as much darker that I have elsewhere seen it portrayed, but this could be a matter of legitimate differences of interpretation.

I give only four stars, not five, because of certain relatively minor imperfections, and because the book did not entirely "wow" me. Gotta leave room for the wow. But it's a good book, and it's rattling around in my head uncomfortably at present.
Profile Image for Franki Demerle.
Author 7 books6 followers
February 12, 2012
Finally, a realistic portrayal of Mary Todd Lincoln and her siblings, as well as an accurate depiction of American character. Very appropriate for the current times and the issues that still divide the United States. The message is clear: "People, like families and nations, must own their flaws if they are to move forward."-Stephen Berry
Let's hope US citizens can own their own flaws and move forward.
Franki deMerle
Dragonfly Dreams
Profile Image for Barbara Marshall.
9 reviews
February 28, 2013
This was a fascinating and well written account of the experiences of Mary Todd Lincoln's family during the Civil War and the problems that arose for Lincoln in being the Chief Executive of the United States while having numerous in-laws who fought for or in other ways actively supported the Confederacy. Lincoln had been fond of many of Mary's siblings (there were 14 Todd siblings in all) and he suffered personal pain as well as political embarrassment when many of them chose to go with the South in the conflict. The book deals with an aspect of Lincoln's life as President that is often overlooked.
Profile Image for Lynn Rueff.
16 reviews2 followers
December 4, 2008
With the coming bicentennial of Lincoln's birth on February 12, 2009, I looked forward to reading this book. I orginally believed it would spotlight the courtship and relationship between Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln. Actually, the book described the geneology of Mary Todd in detail(she had fourteen siblings) and highlighted each battle of the Civil War. I did learn a great deal from this book. I particularly enjoyed the chapter about Lexington, Kentucky, the city where I grew up. I would recommend the book.
Profile Image for Duckpondwithoutducks.
539 reviews13 followers
June 25, 2012
Having read many biographies of Lincoln, this one discussed his life from a completely different angle, his interactions with his wife's family, the Todds. We learn how Mary Todd Lincoln was one of 14 children, of whom 6 sided with her husband and the Union during the Civil War, and 8 sided with the Confederacy. How hard that must have been! Your own brothers and sisters fighting on different sides and for different causes. In fact, two of Mary's brothers died fighting for the Confederacy. This book is not too long, and would be of interest to any Lincoln fans.
Profile Image for Soni Cido.
6 reviews4 followers
January 14, 2015
Stephen Berry is a mastermind!

This is the first "Lincoln" book that I have ever read. The author graciously let me in on an amazing way to look at the Lincoln and Todd Families.

Stephen gets into the heads and hearts of all the family members, to include their social circles, political choices and pressures of the day. He addresses the complex psychological issues of each personality, and of the "times" in which they all struggled to live in.

I have read it twice, took notes and keep it close by.
Profile Image for Jessica.
136 reviews
January 29, 2010
This was a fairly interesting book--I have always been fascinated by Abraham Lincoln and I learned a lot about him and his wife's family from this book. I had no idea that half of Mary Todd Lincoln's siblings fought for the Confederacy and half for the Union. The book was an excellent illustration of the divisions that faced many families during the course of the Civil War.

A bit long-winded in places, but interesting overall.
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