The most important tip to dating on social networks is to avoid making the mistake of “liking” you own status.
Because when you "like" your own Facebook status it's like when you're having sex and you slap your own ass.
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A lot of girls like a guy who is a bad-ass. That’s why my conversations with women go like this:
GIRL: I like a man of danger.
ME: Come back to my place and we'll open the .exe attachments in my email!
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Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Picture, you REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job and pose in front of your cubicle.
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Dear Guy at the Dance Club, Please stop grinding random girls from behind like you are some kind of creepy penis-shaped bulldozer.
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They say you can get a girl to like you, if you can make her jealous. So I make sure the girl sees me with a pretty expensive handbag!
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Girls like when you tell them about the adorable things that children do. For instance, like when my little nephew asked me, "When babies are in the tummy do they use mommy's belly button as a window?"
Cute!
Thank God he didn't ask what they use as a door!
WARNING: Content may not be suitable for people offended by naughty words, honest thoughts about love, and sexual thoughts of sextastic sex with sexy people.
HogWild is a humor author, stand-up comedian and lover of chicken wings.
He produces funny dating advice videos and other comedy on his web site http://www.hogwild.net/
In winter 2014, Running Press is publishing his funny book of drinking games.
His debut book, "Baby, You're as Sweet as 3.14159265" is a hilarious collection of love advice, funny dating stories, and sexy stories.
HogWild was a radio personality on Clear Channel Radio and his writing has appeared on Comedy Central and in Mad Magazine.
In an event covered by MTV News, HogWild was named New York City's "Emerging Comedian of the Year."
HogWild's comedy has been seen on many famous stages such as the The Laugh Factory, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, The Comic Strip, and Gotham Comedy Club in New York City.
I have now read a considerable extract of this book. I can confidently say that there is nothing in it that speaks to literary talent or the ability to write humour on a page. The advice column format gets tired before it even gets going. The jokes, a lot of one-liners mostly, fall into three categories,
1. Very old and they weren't funny then 2. Very crude and not funny 3. Newer jokes, ditto.
Pros:
The book is free, no money need be spent.
Cons:
Your time isn't, and you can't get it back once its gone.
The author's main "talent" seems to be in writing self-promotional material - the very long blurb about the book for one, and the even longer unsolicited message he sent me to read his book. He must have gone to my profile and seen that there is message about "unsolicited advertising" with a link to a (banned, anti-spam) review.
I wrote a review of this book, as did a friend, and both our reviews have gone as has the edition of the book we reviewed. Very odd, since the book is a single Kindle edition.
So they deleted the version I reviewed of this book, but my question still stands. Why does Good Reads allow idiotic authors to send private message SPAM to those of us who have selected the "only my friends" option for private messages? This is disrespectful.
“NOTE TO SELF: If you lose any more IQ points you will legally be allowed to mate with caribou.”--screen 30/587
Maybe I'll go to hell for panning a gift, but BABY, YOU'RE AS SWEET AS 3.14159265: 101 FUNNY LOVE ADVICE ANSWERS, 20 SEXY STORIES AND LOTS OF JOKES, by Hogwild, is spectacularly unfunny, uninteresting, unentertaining and unreadable.
I was offered an advance readers copy of this ebook this morning, at no charge, and, regrettably, I accepted the offer. My mistake. Free was way overpriced. After struggling through the first 100 (of 587) dull and boring screens (< > 17%) I'd had more than too much to assuage my conscience, and blessedly bailed.
Recommendation: Do not waste even one minute on this one. It has nothing to offer.
“Haha! I'm laughing so hard, I am shaking like a little shrub in the wind as it’s approached by a Great Dane with a full bladder!”--screen 62/587
I was contacted by the author asking if I would read his book. I was told it was "like if Sh*t My Dad Says gave love advice". Well, after reading the free sample I have my doubts that the author has read Sh*t My Dad Says, because Halpern's book is far, far, superior to this puddle of pre-pubescent drivel. One to avoid unless you are stuck on a desert island, and male, and can get a copy for free.
So, first this disappeared off of my currently-reading list. Apparently, the edition I had on the shelf was deleted. Not sure how or why. Just was.
So after tracking another copy (which hopefully won't disappear), I'll be honest.
I quit.
These jokes just weren't funny. It was hit or miss, but most of them are total misses. And I felt like most of the jokes were the same. That's why I quit. I don't really want to keep reading the same stuff over and over.
I think these jokes might go over better at a comedy club. Half of what makes jokes funny is the delivery.
Anyway, I had wanted to finish it because the author invited me to read what he had called an ARC (though, it said on the page that it's been out for almost a year...), but I'm afraid that due to time constraints offline and a lack of interest, I am going to stop here.
Thank you, Hogwild, for the free copy to read and review. I'm sorry I couldn't get through it.
"I was contacted by the author asking if I would read his book. I was told it was "like if Sh*t My Dad Says". Not even close. I didn't even get past the first few pages, very "red-necky" and overly crude in a juvenile way. Sorry, I tried ...
I received a free copy of this ebook to read and review and I was excited because I like funny books and I like getting exposed to books I might not find on my own.
That being said I couldn't finish this book because it was just too irritating. Hogwild tries to be helpful and thoughtful at times but he just ends up making a bad joke. Most of his jokes seem either derivative simple or just not that funny and those that might be funny in real life don't translate we'll to book form. Comedians who write books well tend to be storytellers not joke tellers. Can you imagine reading a book full of knock knock or your mama jokes? This book had that pace at times.
I also just find the comedy uninventive. He talks about sex for most of the book but uses words like hoo-ha and jimmy jam very often and it seems like his target audience must be drunken community college freshmen. It's not even that I found the comedy offensive or immature, it was just gimmicky and seemed poorly thought out. He may be fine live but his comedy was not meant for books.
Author, please read this entire review. I'm not just here to shame you.
I actually read the entire book, which was way, way too long. Hog Wild fancies himself to be like Dan Savage, the columnist and public speaker whose witty observations on love and sex are as funny as they are accurate. Instead, this is a stream-of-consciousness rough draft badly in need of an editor and a friend who cares about the author enough to stop him from inflicting himself on the world in this way. In addition to the horrible formatting and atrocious typos (grammatical and spelling errors I've come to expect from the self-published) this work is not organized at all. There is no beginning, middle or end, and there was obviously no effort made to revise and cull the bad jokes.
His portrayal of this work as "love advice" came off as just plain slimy. With the misogyny, racism, homophobia and complete ignorance of female anatomy and human sexuality, jokes that would have been okay in a comedy bar seemed sad and juvenile under the guise of being part of an advice book. Seriously, though, there were pages and pages of material that wasn't even trying to be funny which led me to believe that he actually wanted to deliver good advice at times. That same material was woefully inaccurate and unintentionally bigoted. Yikes. That killed my funny boner fast.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I will say that written comedy has to be almost impossibly good, because there is no timing or other delivery techniques that make comedy gold possible. That said, his attempt to feign delivery by capitalizing emphasized words, adding additional exclamation points, exclusively using pet names for anatomy and sex, writing "tee-hee" or "haha" or "heh heh" and even using smileys was grating and completely counter-productive. The skit scenes with different characters or lines that rarely work in comedy books never worked in his and should be deleted entirely.
The one compliment I can pay is that I would have thought this was all funny when I was fourteen years old. I probably would have smuggled it into a slumber party or summer camp and gotten in trouble for it. That's what makes the "love advice" aspect of this work so troubling to me. The best honest advice I can give to this author is to please for the love of all that is good STOP writing books. You have a real developing talent for stand-up comedy writing. Find a group of friends to throw out all your bad jokes and find a professional editor to proofread and revise your work. Then, submit it to comedians skilled at delivery to a live audience, or collaborate with a screen writer who can be the half of your team with good judgement. Good luck.
I was contacted by the author. A free Ecopy for an HONEST review. So here it goes.
I have read a lot of comedic novels in my lifetime and they always fall into two categories: the ones I have enjoyed and the ones I have not.
Unfortunately, this one falls under the have not category and here's why: the humor was extremely juvenile.
Don't get me wrong I like raunch and dick and fart jokes when done right, but this one missed the mark for me.
Maybe dudes would enjoy this one more, but I'm not sure if that's a true statement either as my boyfriend said he didn't find it too funny. He only read half and got bored. I did this research in order to get a second opinion to make sure it wasn't just me.
So, I'd say skip it, as it was excruciating for me to even finish, just saying. See I just made a funny :)
I read this book a couple weeks ago and somehow the book disappeared off of my read shelf and the review also disappeared...very suspicious. The author contacted me about a free kindle copy of this book and so I read it. It was hard to make it through the book. First, it wasn't that funny...certainly not as funny as Sarah Silverman's stuff which is who the author compared his humor to. Much of the "advice" was misogynistic.
This book was advertised as the new Tucker Max. It isn't, it is more like a cross between reading the script of a sand up comedian and an advice column. There isn't story here except when the author is telling the person writing to them and wanders into a tale as if it is an answer. I got 56% through it and quit because it was tedious.
I was contacted by author, Hog Wild, through Goodreads to write an honest review of his book in exchange for a free copy. I love when authors contact me for reviews. I feel like it's a big leap of faith on their part to trust a stranger, who didn't seek out their book, to write a review. It takes guts and confidence. Here we go...
Wild's book, Baby, You're as Sweet as 3.14159265, is primarily a collection of the author's advice column questions.
I'm definitely not Wild's target audience. The humor and themes in this book would probably be most appealing for males in their late teens to early twenties. I'm not the slightest bit prudish, but the humor in this book is often very brash and crude. The humor was like an American Pie movie on speed.
Wild is a comedian and I often felt like the humor in the book might have translated better in a stand-up show, than it does in a book. He's probably really funny in person, not so much as a writer. The book was filled with comedian "bits" that ran too long.
The biggest issue that I had with Wild's book was the format. It needed to have been broken down by themes. The book consists of a love and sex questions sent in by Wild's fans and Wild's responses, occasionally peppered with his personal stories. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to how the questions are placed in the book. It would have had a better flow, is the questions had been grouped in related topics and if Wild had added more personal stories to tie it together.
I found a lot of Wild's advice to be solid and often found myself agreeing with him. If he made it less crass (and silly) and gave the book a stronger format, I would have given this book a better review. Unfortunately, Wild's book read like a first draft and it lost me as a reader.
Please visit my blog for more reviews and thoughts!
I have mixed feelings about this book. It was waaaay less than I expected but it wasn't horrible.
There are some funny parts. like "Attention Fat Guys: When a girl says she wants a guy with something in common she is not talking about breasts" and "Pregnancy would be COOL if you never know what you're gonna get... The doctor will reach into your vagina and proclaim, ‘It's a beautiful baby girl! …And a laptop computer!’ YES!”".
Some really deep and inspirational parts like "There is NOTHING wrong with being happy with who you are. Just make sure it's your CHOICE out of happiness and not out of fear or intimidation." , "... And whatever you want is within YOUR reach. You must believe in yourself. It's closer than you think. You are one switch away. One switch turns on the electricity to the most awesome version of YOU. And it's only minutes, hours, days, until that. electricity is powering you to do what it takes to accomplish your dreams" and "But really, it's all about being proud of who you are. Never let your insecurities lead your thoughts. Lead with confidence". Really good advice.
A lot of times like "Hahaha! I’m giggling like when a puppy is licking the bottom of my ticklish feet! Tee-hee!" and "Haha. I’m smiling like a small child who has made bubbles from his butt in the bathtub", I was like huh? -__- Not funny.
There were one too many fat, dumb girl and gay jokes.
As a relationship advice book, it doesn't rate too bad and it has some really really good advice but as humour it rates very low. Disappointing even.
This book contains content that may be offensive to some readers
This book disappeared from my currently reading shelf this week (Aug 29 2013). I received a free ebook version because the author is trying to get his book out there. I thought I'd help him out and post a review when I finish, but if he is deleting negative reviews or editions of the book from GR shelves that are not doing as well as he hoped, then I won't bother reading a page further. . .
I am giving up on this book. I am 34% of the way through it and I have found 2 jokes funny enough to retell others about. The rest are just discussing and annoyingly repetitive. So my purpose for reading this novel was to give criticism, all I can say that would be easily fixable is to not laugh at your own jokes! Especially when it is in TEXT!
Okay here goes. If you are a fan of tongue in cheek romantic and sex advice by a stand up comic Baby You're as sweet as 3.14 is a hilarious read. It is full of irreverent looks at sexual situations. Hog Wild doesn't spare the blue language and if you're a bit sensitive to that put your sensitivity aside and just enjoy the book as a great piece of humor.
The book had me laughing out loud several times. Hog Wild has put his comic flair to good use in this book.
Okay, so there were some rambling parts in this book... it took a lot of side detours, but I adore random and obscure, so that didn't bother me. Most of this book is freakin hilarious! I read parts of it out loud to anyone who would listen, and sometimes we laughed so hard we cried. Yeah, some of it falls flat, but the bulk of it will make you laugh until you pee. I realize that's probably not the most classy endorsement, but read the book... class isn't necessary ;)
TL;DR Books are not for you, Hog Wild. Stick to stand-up or find an editor who knows better.
I read the review copy, and I'm not impressed. The humor was something that could have been easily thought up by a teenage boy, and some of the jokes just didn't make sense at all, like the parts where he would talk about how he's laughing at his own jokes and for some reason I'm supposed to be laughing at him laughing at his own jokes. Also, the advice was sub-par at best and plain rude and uninformed at worst. One really bad advice column happened with a woman who told her other half that she had had 39 partners before him. Hog Wild then says that he's trying hard not to call this woman a slut, but then goes on to make TONS of slut jokes. I know the people asking for advice are fake (which is great considering how awful the advice is), but he didn't even try. He goes on and on about how honesty and openness is best, but then he trashes this woman for honestly telling her boyfriend how many men she's slept with. And then he tells her that what happened in the past can't be changed, so it shouldn't affect the now. That advice would've been a thousand times better for her boyfriend, who's supposedly imagining 39 penises around her head every time he has sex with her. She's completely fine. Her boyfriend's the one that can't get over what happened in the past why didn't he ask for advice? Occasionally there was a gem of insight, like when he tells people to be proud of themselves, but it was usually blotted out quickly by whatever Hog Wild verbally vomited into the next sentence. Of course it's hard to straddle the line between giving sincere good advice and making jokes at the same time, but I know it requires more thought than Hog Wild put into this entire book. I can't take him seriously when he wants to be taken seriously and I can't laugh at sh*tty jokes. The format was just embarrassing I don't even want to talk about that.
Baby, You're as Sweet as 3.14 was surprisingly tedious for a light-hearted advice book too. A lot of the jokes were repetitive, or simply kept going for much too long, and usually the ones he chose to repeat were unfunny. I would thank the author for letting me get a free copy, but even that was a bit too expensive considering what I had to go through.
So the author emailed me and said I'd probably like this based on the fact that I liked other books that came out of blogs like Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. I sure wish he was right because I LOVED Lawson's book - but I sure intend to pretend this book never happened.
If you are a 12-year-old boy with raging hormones and no adult to teach you to respect yourself and others, this book is for you.
If you think a 7-page diatribe on the headline "Pink Taco Opening Causes Big Stink" is funny, this book is for you.
If you use the words "hoo-ha" to describe a vagina, "jammy" to describe a penis and are only used to reading content that has to tell you where the jokes are by ending paragraphs with "Hahahahaha!"s and emoticons, this book is for you.
Chances are, however, you are an adult with a brain and reading this book will make you so annoyed/mad/depressed/fatalistic that you will give up reading and/or give up thinking humans will ever evolve into anything other than sex-crazed pre-teens who can't even use the correct words for body parts and still find poop and farts funny.
Let's be clear, it's not the focus on sex, or the disrespect towards women, or the lack of actual relationship advice that's offensive. It's the fact that this is calling itself a book. It is not a book. It is a bunch of very poorly written blog postings and/or letters thrown together to try to make a few bucks.
I was going to say there weren't any redeeming qualities to this book bu there is one - it will teach you to NEVER buy anything that is only issued as an ebook. If it isn't good enough to publish, it isn't good enough.
When Hog wild contacted me to review his book I didn't know him, now I know him as a very funny man who can tell you very serious stuff in between his jokes. I thoroughly loved this book, if so then why not 5 stars because it is not The Best book there that is why. It is a book which you would not rue buying or reading. As the cover would tell you this book is a collection of 101 collection of questions on relationship and sex and behavior and Hog answers those questions sometimes just with jokes or sometimes with complete sincerity. I was really surprised to see the honest answers for few questions because before that all answers were fun. That's what makes it a good comedy book. It makes you laugh and teaches you something important about relationships. Just pick this book you wouldn't be disappointed.
People who don't read generally ask me my reasons for reading. Simply put I just love reading and so to that end I have made it my motto to just Keep on Reading. I love to read everything except for Self Help books but even those once in a while. I read almost all the genre but YA, Fantasy, Biographies are the most. My favorite series is, of course, Harry Potter but then there are many more books that I just adore. I have bookcases filled with books which are waiting to be read so can't stay and spend more time in this review, so remember I loved reading this and love reading more, you should also read what you love and then just Keep on Reading.
**I was provided a free copy of this book for review by the author.**
This is the first (hopefully of many) books that I have received free from an author with the kind request to provide a review.
While I didn't expect this book to be groundbreaking, I was more disappointed that I thought I would be. The format was meant to be informal but it lacked any kind of standards and made for a very distracting read. I am all in favour of emoticons, and use them regularly in my text messages but I would be satisfied if I never again saw them in a book.
The author's humour was recycled and in many sections, it felt like he was speaking not to offer genuine advice, but rather to shock the reader. This was rather disappointing becuase there a couple of lines where I really thought the author had some sort of potential.
I hope the author goes back to the drawing board on this and makes some drastic changes if he publishes something again.
I read 31 percent of this book before stopping, giving it the benefit of the doubt for as long as I could. Look, I appreciate frat-boy humor as much as the next middle-aged, college-educated, straight, white woman with two nearly grown sons. Perhaps even more, as I participate in a local medieval fair every year, in which I revel in and dole out double entendres and bawdy jokes for my own and other people's amusement. But somewhere around the Pink Taco section, I'd had enough. Your mileage may vary, but I don't need to read a whole book wherein women are mostly golddiggers, nerdy guys never have sex, cheesy guys are too obvious (but not necessarily wrong), men just wanna hit that, lesbians just need a magic dick to fulfill their true mission (to perform sex acts for men's pleasure), and the author is very amused at his own cleverness. Meh.
(I received a complimentary e-copy of this book to review.)
TL; almost DR Two stars because my one-star reference is 50 Shades of Grey and, after all, this book depicts women as sentient creatures. This book reminds me of a comedy show I saw in Las Vegas many, many years ago: the audience were laughing hysterically while we, a group of Italian students, didn't get half of the jokes. Oh well, we have a different backgrounds and we could not expect to laugh at the same stories, but... I'm sorry, I think this book is just, overall, not funny. And it's too long: you can guess the second half of the jokes after reading the first line. I think these are visual sketches that simply don't work on paper. When we look at a comedy actor we expect him/her to be repetitive: we want to hear his/her signature line, his/her signature gestures and all those little things that define the character. What we like on stage doesn't translate into the pages of a book.
I read this book at the request of the author. Is this book funny? In places, yes. In fact, in some places it is downright hilarious, I have to give it that. Hog Wild is a funny man or at least thinks he is. However, this is crass low brow sexual humor. It is definitely NOT the kind of book that you want to just close your iPad and leave so it's the first thing your 10 yr. old stepson sees when he gets permission to use your iPad. (About 3 pages in, I realized this and took preventative measures).
In short, I won't say it's a complete waste of time, but I could have been more productive flossing my toe nails.
This is not a book I would typically chose to read, but the author was kind enough to give me a kindle copy to review. I read just over 10% of this book before calling it quits. The book is full of "zingers" and "punch lines" but there is no real substance. The language is crass, but that makes since considering the intended audiance. This would be great for pubescent boys testing some bounds. (Anything to get a 14 year old boy to read is great). I am not the intended audiance though and found little value in the book for myself.
Thank you again, Mr. Wild, for giving me the chance to review your book.
If you expecting a good hysterical read with some actual good/witty advice and some well not so good/witty advice on the dating world this is the book - it's not something that is deep in thought and scientific at all - it's just a honest to good hilarious read! I loved reading this and enjoyed the stories and there were a few that I caught myself going...if I only had read this when I was in the active dating stage...probably would have been a good conversation starter. Definitely worth the read just to laugh out loud to yourself in front of strangers and get the "she's crazy" look from them.
I was asked by the author to read and review... although I always appreciate a free book this was not even good enough to give a single star. My mom always said if you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all. Well, yeah I don't have a nice thing to say. I guess this is a perfect example of you get what you pay for. It was juvenile at best. The book made women objects and look stupid. And it made the men look like all sexist pigs. I would NOT recommend this book. But thanks to the author for trying and a free read.
Hog Wild is a Henny Youngman for the 21st century spewing one-liner after one-liner tailor made for our sex-obsessed narcissistic society with the frequency of condoms handed out at the local free clinic.
I can't stand Henny Youngman.
And my comparison to Hog Wild is probably a great insult to Mr. Youngman, may he rest in peace.
I'm not exactly sure what this is, but I can tell you at 4% it's not for me. These aren't my definition of stories more like a bad advice column but in book form.
If you want to take advice from someone who is socially disabled and prejudiced against pretty much everyone, you may have just struck gold. I, however, am bailing while my IQ is still intact.
It was laugh out loud, really funny from start to finish. I would definitely recommend if you need a little pick me up even if some of the advice is a bit questionable. A lot of it is also very true.