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Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women:
Red Green is celebrated as one of the handiest men in North America. But as well as being a purveyor of inventive practical advice on, for example, making a jetpack from two propane tanks, a hybrid car from recycled golf carts and satellite dishes, and a kiddie ride from a bar stool attached to the agitator of a washing machine, Red Green is also noted for his insights into that most difficult of assembly jobs, human relationships. His previous bestselling tome, How to Do Everything , showed Red dipping his toe into the self-help genre with such items as "How to make dinner more romantic" and "The easy way to raise children." Now Red Green -- a veteran husband (of Bernice), father, soul-searcher, philosopher and observer -- has devoted an entire book to sharing with other battle-weary and confused males all he has learned about the differences between the sexes. Set out in approximately chronological order, from teen dating to the last words of men ("You know, honey, in the last couple of years, you've really packed on the beef"), this is the testosterone owner's manual to every aspect of finding a mate and then learning to deal with her growing disappointment in you. The man who has already shared such morsels as "If you can't be handsome, be handy" and "Quando omni flunkus moritati" ("When all else fails, play dead") here presents a PhD in life-lessons about the most vexing problem facing mankind today, or any women.
- GenresHumorNonfiction
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
15 people are currently reading
48 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 19, 2017
Good. Not great. But it is the first book that I've been able to finish since my daughter was born on May 31.
Red Green takes the reader from teenage dating all the way to death by old age. Mixed in with many of his entertaining stories was some actual good advice regarding men and women. The part about having kids is spot on, which is especially true as I read most of it with a newborn lying on top of me.
Red Green takes the reader from teenage dating all the way to death by old age. Mixed in with many of his entertaining stories was some actual good advice regarding men and women. The part about having kids is spot on, which is especially true as I read most of it with a newborn lying on top of me.
August 19, 2025
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
I have fond memories of tuning into PBS to watch episodes of the Red Green Show while growing up. Two decades after the show's ending, I still turn on an episode every now and then and laugh along with the crazy antics up at Possum Lodge (yes, I do have the complete collection on dvd).
I've listened to this book twice now. Once four years ago and again this year. You can't go wrong with the phenomenal audiobook version where Steve Smith reprises his role as Red Green as he tries to unpack the complexities of women.
To my surprise, and likely to the surprise of many a Red Green fan, the advice he offers in this book is surprisingly good and wholesome. In between classic Red Green quips is some legitimately good relationship advice that is a much needed alternative to the often toxic advice thrown at us on the internet.
With that being said, crack open your favorite beer, kick up your feet, pull out a roll of ductape, and settle in for some whit and wisdom from Possum Lodge.
I have fond memories of tuning into PBS to watch episodes of the Red Green Show while growing up. Two decades after the show's ending, I still turn on an episode every now and then and laugh along with the crazy antics up at Possum Lodge (yes, I do have the complete collection on dvd).
I've listened to this book twice now. Once four years ago and again this year. You can't go wrong with the phenomenal audiobook version where Steve Smith reprises his role as Red Green as he tries to unpack the complexities of women.
To my surprise, and likely to the surprise of many a Red Green fan, the advice he offers in this book is surprisingly good and wholesome. In between classic Red Green quips is some legitimately good relationship advice that is a much needed alternative to the often toxic advice thrown at us on the internet.
With that being said, crack open your favorite beer, kick up your feet, pull out a roll of ductape, and settle in for some whit and wisdom from Possum Lodge.
June 23, 2019
This book is a real fun read. If you miss the Red Green show, this book will help. I had my wife read the part about menopause and though it was hysterical. He never puts down women and the language is clean.
June 27, 2020
I should have read this book 35 years ago!
June 25, 2021
This book was funny, it had many nuggets of truth and wisdom and was very easy to read. The hand drawn images where great and the length was perfect.
September 28, 2025
Very funny
March 28, 2014
If you want to read this book for humor alone, it is worth it. If you need a few laughs a day to be healthy and to do all the good things for your body, soul and spirit that laughter accomplishes, then this book is what the doctor ordered. At a few laughs a day, this prescription could last a few months. :)
But it takes more knowledge of physics to understand how to fasten a bar stool to a washing machine agitator to make a new ride for the children than it does to understand how to operate the washing machine. And it takes a creative mind to see the potential when you connect the two... even if the result is a disaster.
Steve Smith takes his own observations of women living in a world with men and. with more knowledge than the average psychologist, sees connections that most people miss. Like the washing machine children's ride, he exaggerates the ways of thinking and reasoning of both men and women and takes them to their ultimate conclusion of disaster if they continue to think this way.
After you read the book, you would definitely never attach a bar stool to a washing machine agitator because its consequences are disastrous and unpredictable. You wonder how anybody could ever have such faulty reasoning and even think of such a dumb idea... then you realize that the real message is that much of the thinking of both men and women about each other is as faulty, with a lack of understanding of how men's and women's natures and perceptions differ. Steve Smith, without saying so, makes the reader see how people naively misunderstand each other, assign their way of thinking to others, and then are perplexed by explosive results.
We laugh, but then we realize that we now have a new understanding of what goes on in the mind of a woman, a man, a child, a teenager, one of the guys, etc.
And we can be a better person because of it.
No big psychological babble, no criticism, just humor. But it works.
The title is deceiving (and deliberately so.) Women will learn as much in this book about how they mishandle relationships as men will. It is an equal opportunity stab at both genders. But Steve Smith knows better than to tell a woman she is wrong and should change! Instead he tricks her into reading a book about what is wrong with her husband and uses humor to let her see herself through the eyes of her spouse and come to our own conclusions. A really gifted author.
Enjoyable from start to finish.
But it takes more knowledge of physics to understand how to fasten a bar stool to a washing machine agitator to make a new ride for the children than it does to understand how to operate the washing machine. And it takes a creative mind to see the potential when you connect the two... even if the result is a disaster.
Steve Smith takes his own observations of women living in a world with men and. with more knowledge than the average psychologist, sees connections that most people miss. Like the washing machine children's ride, he exaggerates the ways of thinking and reasoning of both men and women and takes them to their ultimate conclusion of disaster if they continue to think this way.
After you read the book, you would definitely never attach a bar stool to a washing machine agitator because its consequences are disastrous and unpredictable. You wonder how anybody could ever have such faulty reasoning and even think of such a dumb idea... then you realize that the real message is that much of the thinking of both men and women about each other is as faulty, with a lack of understanding of how men's and women's natures and perceptions differ. Steve Smith, without saying so, makes the reader see how people naively misunderstand each other, assign their way of thinking to others, and then are perplexed by explosive results.
We laugh, but then we realize that we now have a new understanding of what goes on in the mind of a woman, a man, a child, a teenager, one of the guys, etc.
And we can be a better person because of it.
No big psychological babble, no criticism, just humor. But it works.
The title is deceiving (and deliberately so.) Women will learn as much in this book about how they mishandle relationships as men will. It is an equal opportunity stab at both genders. But Steve Smith knows better than to tell a woman she is wrong and should change! Instead he tricks her into reading a book about what is wrong with her husband and uses humor to let her see herself through the eyes of her spouse and come to our own conclusions. A really gifted author.
Enjoyable from start to finish.
July 2, 2016
For me, Red Green is mostly a fond family memory where we are all gathered at my uncle's house for Christmas, watching Red Green late at night, and laughing uncontrollably. It's one of those shows that's even more humorous when you watch it with a group. Especially when that group is your slightly "off" side of the family with the strange sense of humor.
This guy right here is the last guy I thought would be hitting the nail on the head when it came to women (particularly in marriage).
Who is Steve Smith? I cannot separate Red Green as the character versus the actor. He is Red Green. There is plenty of that funny Red Green tone in this book, but I was also surprised at how true and observant much of the book is.
There are a lot of women in this world who will excite you, but there are probably only a couple that will make you feel comfortable. Grab one of them and string together as many one-night stands together as both of you can stand together.
I've heard of cases where the only time a wife listens to her husband is when he's talking to himself. That's because women aren't nearly as interested in what they hear as they are in what they overhear.
You may be concerned when she comes into the house with a shopping bag because it means she bought something. Don't worry about it. It's when she comes in with no shopping bag that you're really in trouble. That means she's hidden everything in the trunk or under the hood, waiting until you go out before sneaking them into the house.
I read that last one to my husband while snickering like a madwoman. He didn't find it nearly as humorous...
This book spans from advice for a very young man (dating) to a defeated man (married). The younger section was a little tough for me to get through (although the advise on having "the talk" with your son was fantastic), which is why I'm giving this four stars. Still a great read for any Red Green fan. I'd advise that if you haven't seen the show, you should watch it before reading the book so that the voice of Red Green really comes through.
This guy right here is the last guy I thought would be hitting the nail on the head when it came to women (particularly in marriage).
Who is Steve Smith? I cannot separate Red Green as the character versus the actor. He is Red Green. There is plenty of that funny Red Green tone in this book, but I was also surprised at how true and observant much of the book is.
There are a lot of women in this world who will excite you, but there are probably only a couple that will make you feel comfortable. Grab one of them and string together as many one-night stands together as both of you can stand together.
I've heard of cases where the only time a wife listens to her husband is when he's talking to himself. That's because women aren't nearly as interested in what they hear as they are in what they overhear.
You may be concerned when she comes into the house with a shopping bag because it means she bought something. Don't worry about it. It's when she comes in with no shopping bag that you're really in trouble. That means she's hidden everything in the trunk or under the hood, waiting until you go out before sneaking them into the house.
I read that last one to my husband while snickering like a madwoman. He didn't find it nearly as humorous...
This book spans from advice for a very young man (dating) to a defeated man (married). The younger section was a little tough for me to get through (although the advise on having "the talk" with your son was fantastic), which is why I'm giving this four stars. Still a great read for any Red Green fan. I'd advise that if you haven't seen the show, you should watch it before reading the book so that the voice of Red Green really comes through.
April 9, 2016
According to the back cover, this is a book about the male-female relationship. I knew that as I started reading this book. So why was I so surprised to find out while reading the book that this was ACTUALLY a book about male-female relationship?!!! I think that Mr. Smith should just stick to typical Red Green comedy. I watched his Red Green show for years and thoroughly enjoyed it. This book? Not so much! I was very bored through the first half which covered the relationship before marriage. The rest of the book picked up some. Just not much. I do realize that this book was not written for women. That is why I was reading it. Part of the Challies 2016 Reading Challenge is to read a book written for the opposite gender. I thought this would be a light, enjoyable read and also fulfill this point. Well I was half right! Now don't get me wrong. Red Green's humor did come through. I could almost hear him saying a lot of what I was reading. But for the most part, I didn't find it enjoyable. He seemed to lump all women together into one category. All the same. This is the way women are. Period. The same for men. That is just not true. Then the book just ended. No summary or conclusion. Just a conflict resolution form!
My assessment of the book? I was very generous when giving it two stars. One word to describe the book? DUMB!
My assessment of the book? I was very generous when giving it two stars. One word to describe the book? DUMB!
December 25, 2013
I need to get a copy of this for all my single friends so they can grab a clue out of the great bag of life.
While ostensibly a comedy book, this book is replete with much commen-sense advice about relations between husband and wife. Along with being a great story-teller, Steve Smith, aka Uncle Red, is a very observant and wise man.
This book makes me appreciate LA all the more. I am very lucky to have her as my wife.
While ostensibly a comedy book, this book is replete with much commen-sense advice about relations between husband and wife. Along with being a great story-teller, Steve Smith, aka Uncle Red, is a very observant and wise man.
This book makes me appreciate LA all the more. I am very lucky to have her as my wife.
June 22, 2014
Red Green's book of humourous observations on relations between the sexes is a light-hearted read for all. While a lot of his "advice" needs to be taken with a large grain of salt, at times he is also surprising astute. Either way, it is definitely amusing.
October 23, 2015
Obviously,as a woman I'm far from Red Green's target audience. There were some funny parts,but most of the time I felt it rather repetitious and drastically reduced all women to one massive generalization.
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November 9, 2013fun
April 20, 2015
very true and very funny
May 5, 2015
I was expecting it to be a little funnier. Maybe it's because it's a guide to women and I'm a woman...
July 31, 2015
Lots of funny advice. The best moments are when he goes into his Red Green character fully and suggests outlandish ideas to smooth out relationships.
October 1, 2015
If only I had read this before i got married. Mo, just kidding, I think it is probably way more useful and a lot funnier if you read it after at least 10 years of marriage.
December 24, 2016
This is not just a book of humour. It is wisdom and wit from a genius.
Read
May 24, 2018Loved it. His take on women is funny.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews